Florida Recount

Can anyone tell me what in the hell is going on in Florida? CNN can’t. MSNBC won’t. CSPAN can’t find it’s camera, and Bernard Shaw could give a fuck. Why are we as American people being subjected to such petty issues as SUV’s, Cell Phones, and the Florida Recount? The numbers show that Bush is well in the lead. Of course “well” is such a subjective word, due to the number of jackass democrats in the state of Florida. The current number of Jackasses in Florida: 931. 931 people in Florida voted for Bush and not Gore. Of course something like 22,000 people were smart enough to vote for Nader and not the two bastards who are fighting to salvage their political careers, while dragging the nation through a murky desolate swamp somewhere in south Florida. Vice-President Gore…please stop while you’re still the underdog.

Of course, I don’t have to put up with all of this bullshit because I’m free. I can chose to turn off CNN, not read the paper, and live in a nice sized basement that I’ve built for myself just incase those NRA members break out the artillery. What I can’t choose is my president. I have no power in the election process because I am a resident of Texas. So what, prey-tell is a 20-something young man to do in a situation like this? Go to a book fair at the state capital.

But what is it that I find at the Book Fair? No it’s not books silly…that’s just way to simple. I find close to a hundred Texans standing in front of our capital, with picket signs stating everything from “BUSH/CHENEY” to “We Want A Recount” and “Egg Rolls For Florida.” There is a line of state troopers between the Bush supporters and the Gore supporters being spit on because they are sandwiched between extreme shitheads with nothing better to do on a Book Festival Saturday than block the entrance to the capital where the book fair is taking place. I won’t bother to mention that one of the signs being held by a young man said, “Bush wun twyce.”

The gaggle then moved from the capital to the governor’s mansion where G.W. Bush returns 3 nights out of the year in order to fill his current prescriptions. They scream, hiss, chant, bark, and howl at each other…but their cries fall on deaf ears. Two candidates who cannot grab a majority of the American people’s hearts, sure as hell aren’t listening to a bunch of extremists in Austin, TX. Hell, Bush didn’t even bother to come out of the mansion and speak to the 20,000 people who showed up for his victory party at the capital. He sent his “spokesman” to tell the masses that “You’ve all spent a dozen hours out here in the cold in support of Dubyah, and Dubyah would like to thank all of you personally, but right now Dubyah is sitting in his mansion, snorting coke…oops…I mean, drinking cocoa…heh heh…and discussing campaign issues with his aides. He would like to tell you all to go home, and get the hell off his lawn.”

Sometime during the next day, Gore explained to his supporters that he intended to come and speak to them, but he sorta “fell asleep.”

Gore also would like everyone in the country to think that he has his or her “best interest” at heart. Fuck you Albert. You don’t have my interest at heart! If you gave a rat’s ass about my interest then you would stop this senseless recount and go back to Nashville, a loser. I have no interest in the judiciary system and it’s countless appeals. Will we ever know if you truly “lost” the election? No, but we sure as hell know you didn’t win.

So what the hell is going on in Florida? I really could care less. I would just like to see this come to a close, and for Bush to take his seat in the White House. I hate to say, “It’s yours Gorgie”…but it is. The American People have spoken…and they’ve said, “Who gives a shit.”

What recount? What the hell are you talking about?

Email: goldenma@aol.com