9. Oh that charge on the credit card? The whosecowatzit on the car snapped off and "Bubba's Shack Of Beer and Breasts" was the only place who had them.
8. No, I think they both look good on you.
7. No honey, I doesn't matter at all that you're inviting your sister to dinner with us.
6. I only burp and fart because I have a rare order of intestinal disease that makes it imperitive that I remove all gas from my body immediately.
5. That's ok hun, I really don't mind Insert Chore Here at all.
4. Your hips? Look Big? Noooooo.
3. That's funny, I didn't think you'd care.
2. Wow! No one has ever satisfied me like that!
And the number one lie that all men use at least once a day is...
1. What? I didn't hear you.
You pig! You're never getting any!