September 25, 2000
Heaven - God announced today that he will be placing a 75 cent tax on all air breathed on the planet Earth starting at Noon on Monday, Sepetember 25.
“I’ve noticed that gas stations get away with charging 50 cents for people to fill up their tires with air and radiators with water and now I want my share of the profit.” God declared from his alter high atop Cloud 9. “Shit, you earthlings will buy anything won’t you? Mother nature and I have had a hell of a racket going on here for quite some time now and we didn’t even realize. Leave it to the corporate giants to expolit what’s not even theirs.”
Dan Fonts, resident of Austin, TX is rather exasperated with the news. “I’ve already given my soul to the guy and now he wants my money? Even God’s got his hand in my pocket now.”
“I don’t know how he’s gonna get the money outta me.” says Atheiest Regina Wilkes. “I’m not going to be paying my hard earned money to a God that I don’t believe exists. He’s gonna have to bill me.”