September 20 Florida---In an attempt to make himself appeal to young male voters, George W. Bush is hitting the campaign trail today in the most unlikely of places, the alligator pool of the Seminole Okalee Indian Village and Museum in Florida.
The Seminole Museum is looking for Alligator Wrestlers to fill the recent vacancies left by men who had more than half a brain.
“Just call me Ishmichael” Governor Bush said while surrounded by 220 pound alligators. “I’m warming up for the big debates by wrestling these guys. Gore may oust me behind a podium, but I’ll kick his ass in an aquarium.”
Bush will be paid twelve dollars an hour to entertain tourists by submerging himself in a pool of water while modern day dinosaurs snap at his appendages.
“I’m going to change my campaign slogan,” said Bush. “It’s going to read something like, ‘Bush...if he can tackle this, what will he do to you?’ I think that should get the message across.”
Can he make me a handbag while he's kickin gator ass?