Over the past couple of months I have dedicated myself to exposing the harsh reality that is an America under G. W. Bush. I want to be the person that presents ideas to your fragile and influential minds and sits back and watches as those idea run rampant upon our society. We're getting back to a revolutionary state here at The Boundaries. I'm sick and tired of lying down while the concervative mentality destroys all that we hold dear. Call me idealistic, call me anarchaic, call me Ishmael. Whatever. Yet, understand that I do not want to be the end all of your information. I simply want to point the issues out to you, and have you wander to some reputable newsource and gather the facts yourself. I love you all to much, my Unfinished Children, to let you go forth blind into that good night.
Now, I have something extremly grave to report to you today. If you noticed the thought for the day yesterday, you may have some insight as to what Mr. G.W. has decided to pull over the eyes of America this time.
We nearly caught a bullet on Thursday as the Bush Administration decided to repeal a law that would allow for The Agriculture Department to no longer require salmonella testing on ground meat that the government buys for school lunches -- a move which was championed by the American Meat Institute, or as I like to call it: Big Beef. Bush was starting to go after your kids...but someone tapped him on the shoulder. It went something like this:
Conscience: Hey, George?
Dubyah: Who's that?
Conscience: It's me.
Dubyah: Laura?
Conscience: No, no silly. We haven't talked for a while, I don't expect you to remember me.
Dubyah: Jeb?
Conscience: Wrong again.
Dubyah: You can just tell me can't you...I'm not good at gessing games. Charades always kicks my ass.
Conscience: Ok Bushy. I'm your conscience.
Dubyah: Holy shit! We haven't talked since I was 12! Where ya been?
Conscience: Well, remember that time you stuck that pencil up Francine Butler's ass and I begged you not to?
Dubyah: How could I forget! It was a crowning moment in my young life.
Conscience: Well...ahem...I was ashamed. I had to get away for a while. I went to the Bahamas and hung out with Newt Gingrich's good side.
Dubyah: Well, it's good to see you again. So what's up?
Conscience: Well George, I've come to ask you to reconsider your pact with Big Beef.
Dubyah: Oh yeah?
Conscience: I just don't think that it's a good idea to stop salmonella testing on school beef. You can fuck with the environment George, but not the children.
Dubyah: Do they vote?
Conscience: The kids? Um...no.
Dubyah: Did they contribute to my campaign?
Conscience: No.
Dubyah: Then fuck em.
Conscience: Come on George, they're just children, they need your protection from harm. You have children for god sake, think about them.
Dubyah: My children never had to each school lunchs. They had catering.
Conscience: Well, what about all the backlash from parent and teacher groups. Aren't you worried about your aproval rating?
Dubyah: Hey, I'm here for four years no matter what they say. Fuck them too.
Conscience: Come on Dubyah, you owe me for that pencil incident.
Dubyah: Owe you? Hey, I didn't get a trip to the Bahamas because of that pencil. You didn't have to fail a history test ten minutes later with that same pencil.
Conscience: Bushy, think about what your mother will say!
Dubyah: She didn't even think I'd get elected, what does she know.
Conscience: I can see we're not getting anywhere.
Dubyah: Fuck off.
So, a dejected Dubyah's Conscience went around Thursday and lobbied all of the Bush Administration's consciences. Finally, it convinced them to put their collective efforts to work to recend the idea while Bush was in his bubble bath. Like I said, we nearly caught a bullet. Thank you Mr. Bubble.
Stay tuned to my next posting as we examine all of the actual law repeals G.W. has made over the past 3 months as President of the United States.