Funny For the Day
A guy is at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted, while St. Peter is
leafin' through this Big Book to see if the guy is worthy of entering.
Saint Peter goes through the books several times, furrows his brow, and
says to the guy, "You know, I can't see that you did anything really good
in your life but, you never did anything bad either. Tell you what, if you
can tell me of one REALLY good deed that you did in your life, you're in."
The guy thinks for a moment and says, "Yeah, there was this one time when
I was drivin' down the highway and I saw a giant group of Biker Gang
Rapists assaulting this poor girl. I slowed down my car to see what was
going on, and sure enough, there they were, about 50 of 'em torturing this
chick. Infuriated, I get out my car, grabbed a tire iron out of my trunk,
and walked straight up to the leader of the gang, a huge guy with a
studded leather jacket and a chain running from his nose to his ear. As I
walked up to the leader, the Biker Gang Rapists formed a circle around me.
So, I rip the leader's chain off his face and smash him over the head with
the tire iron. Then I turn around and yell to the rest of them, 'Leave
this poor, innocent girl alone! You're all a bunch of sick, deranged
animals! You people better take three steps back. Go home before I teach
you all a lesson in pain!'" St. Peter, impressed, says "Really? I have no
record of this heroic deed in my Book. When did this happen?" "Oh, about
two minutes ago."