"Time tries to avoid Idaho at all costs."
"It's always good to share your ignorance with others.
I think that's why organized religion is so popular."
"I just pushed out the jive and brought in the love."
"I guess I'll always just be the brotha from anotha planet."
"If you don't like someone or something, you should make it a point to tell
them they suck ass."
(on the subject of wake-up calls) "They should have someone call you and scream at you in Japanese. Now that would be a wake-up call."
"Short-term goal - get a hoagie. Long-term goal - world domination."
"I depersonify everything. I treat some people like appliances. It's especially fun when you treat someone as if they are a blender."
"I don't have any songs that remind me of anyone. Well, except for the theme from 'Shaft.' That always makes me think of Shaft."
"Sometimes I like to throw my dictionary at people walking by."
"Hold tight, I'm making the subtle change from amateur to professional."
"I remember the first time I saw the Garden of Earthly Delights was in 9th
grade art class and part of the picture was this guy bent over with a flower sticking out of his ass (he was naked by the way)
and I stood up in class and said "That guy's got a flower in his ass" and I got detention. I also remember later that same year
they showed us a slide show of different religious paintings and one was a pic of Jesus crucified but it was put in upside down
and I yelled out "It's a good thing he is nailed on there." I didn't get in trouble for that one though."
"As for me, I'm gonna party like it's 1999, and it's a good thing that it is 1999
or I might look like an ass doing it."
"I think big foreheads are there to be slapped."
"( in a typed message)"Well, I will let you know if your cookies suc. Not only is the k silent, it's hidden."
"It's not good to get retards all worked up. That only leads to trouble."
"I personally have been bitten on two separate occasions by ghosts."
"You are almost ludicrous to the point of not being a real person."
"I doubt that there are many people who think they look better cross-eyed."
"I feel like I need to be 2 inches to the right."
"I think that if each person took a moment out of their day to go up to a total stranger and call that stranger an "Ass Monkey" the world would probably be a totally different place."
"I played D and D in the third grade. Of course, I realized it sucked shortly after and moved on to alcohol."
"My essence feels dirty."
