Donated by Jason "Cooter" Distel
 

	Read the following passage from the movie and then the interpretation.


 Luke:  "You fought in the clone wars."

 Ben:   "I was once a Jedi Knight the same as your father."

 Luke:  "My father didn't fight in the wars. He was a navigator on  a
          space freighter."

 Ben:   "That's what your Uncle told you. He didn't hold with your
          father's ideals. He thought he should  stay home. Not gotten
          involved."

 Luke:  "I wish I had known him."

 Ben:   "He was a cunning warrior, and the best star pilot in the
        galaxy. I understand you've become  quite a good pilot
	yourself.  And  he was a good friend. For over a thousand
	years the Jedi Knight protected the galaxy. Before the
	dark times. Before the Empire"

  Luke:  "How did my father die?"

  Ben:   "A young Jedi Knight named Darth Vader, who was a pupil of mine
          until he turned to evil,  helped the Emperor hunt down and
	  destroy the Jedi
          Knights.  He betrayed and murdered your  father. Vader was
seduced
         by the Dark Side of the Force."

  Luke:  "The Force?"

  Ben:   "Yes, the Force is what gives a Jedi Knight his power. It's  an
          energy field created by all living  things. It surrounds us.
          Penetrates us. Binds the galaxy together. Which reminds me. Your
          father wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but
	  your Uncle wouldn't allow. He thought you'd follow Obi-Wan on
	  some idealistic crusade."

  Luke:  "What is it?"

  Ben:   "It a lightsaber. The weapon of a Jedi Knight. Not as  random or
          clumsy as a blaster. An elegant  weapon for a more civilized
age."

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  ******************  NOW...THE INTERPRETATION  ****************
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 Luke:   "You were in the Greek System?"

  Ben:   "I was once a Frat Guy the same as your father."

  Luke:  "My father didn't belong to a frat. He was a tool, an RA in the
          dorms for four years."

  Ben:   "That's what your mother told you. She didn't hold with your
          father's ideals. She thought he  should stay home. Not drink
	  until four in the morning and then piss on things."

  Luke:  "I wish I had known him, when he could drink."

  Ben:   "He was a cunning partier, and the best boat-racer in the house.
           And he was a good bro. I  understand you've become quite a booze

           hound yourself. For over five years he got so curbed  he could
           hardly function. Before the dark times. Before, his skirt."

  Luke:  "How did my father become a lame ass?"

  Ben:   "A young chick namely your mother, who was pretty cool  herself
          until she turned to evil,  helped other women hunt down and
	  destroy the coolness in men. She civilized and murdered  the bro who
          was once your  father.  Your mother was pissed off by the dark
side
          of Beer"

  Luke:  "Beer?"

  Ben: [smiles] "Yes, Beer is what gives a frat guy his power. It's  a
          beverage created by hops and barley ...  and shit like that. It
          fucks us up.  Gives us beer goggles. And lets us yell stuff like
          "penis" in bars everywhere.  Which reminds me. Your father
	  wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but your
	  Mother wouldn't allow it.  She  thought you'd follow some Frat
	  Brother on some binge drinking crusade."

  Luke:  "What is it?"

  Ben:   "Your father's beer-bong. The weapon of a Frat Guy. Not as random
           or clumsy as a shot glass.  An elegant weapon for a less
           civilized age..."