Top Ten Activities That Will Get You Kicked Out of Heaven

10. Upon arrival at the Pearly Gates, requesting an audience with
    "Der Führer"

9.  Asking St. Peter if he can hook you up with the KIND bud.

8.  Bragging about all the priests you had sex with when you were
    alive.

7.  Telling St. Peter that you would rather go to Hell than have to go
    through Heaven's Gate again.

6.  Prank calling God and asking for St. Lucifer.

5.  Displaying Highland Graphics' images in an unflattering way.

4.  Being Jimmy Swaggart.

3.  Playing frisbee with all the angels' halos. 

2.  Pissing on God's feet, claiming you were anointing them.

1.  Walking up to God and saying "Hey Jehovah, are we allowed to
    masturbate up here?"

Bonus: Give Jesus a handful of nails and offer to put him up for the
       night.

Bonus: Ask Jesus if he really shagged Mary Magdalene and how much did
       she charge him.

Back