Fan Fiction
ALL DOGS GO TO HEAVEN & COMPANY
in
A Spooky Night In Disney's Haunted Mansion
by Scott New World Order Oliverson
(Story is based on attraction located at Disneyland's New Orleans
Square
and taken from story on the LP 1969 Disneyland record which is now
re-released on audiocassette form)
NARRATION (By David "Friend Of Charlie")
Have you ever been in a haunted mansion? My friend Charlie
Barkin, Itchy Itchiford and their canine friends have and they would
like to tell you all about it, except Charlie wants me to tell it in
person...It was an old, southern-style ante-bellam manor house like the
ones back in the 1800s during the American Civil War era, sitting all
alone at the end of a dark street. The owners haven't been seen for
years, no one really knows why? The windows are broken and boarded and
the shutters hang loose on their hinges. The sidewalk leading to the
porch was broken and overgrown with grass and weeds. The trees are
grown wild, their branches brush against the sides of the weathering
house, making strange noises in the night. There's a high vine-covered
fence around the property with a rusty squeaky gate. Is it there to
keep somebody out, or is it there to keep something inside? It's a
house that people or animals avoid walking past at night...strange
sounds come from within the walls, and it's said that errie lights can
be seen both in the attic windows, and in the cemetary to the side of
the house, our story revolves around this mysterious mansion. Nights
not long ago, Charlie, Itchy and their allies were walking home from a
matinee movie/pizza party. The night was cool as lightning broke
through the skies. The wind began to blow and the lightning flashed
again. Thunder rolled across the heavens and changed this plesant
evening into a night to be remembered. Sasha held Charlie's paw
tightly
as they began to walk faster down the dark street. The lightning
struck
again and illuminated the front of the old mansion, it began to rain.
Charlie, Itchy, Sasha, Anabelle, Bess, Rover Dangerfield, Daisey,
Lance, Jenna and Balto ran towards the old house, through the old iron
gate and onto the porch for protection. Protection? If only they had
known, their real adventure was about to begin...Bwa-hahahahahahaah!
SASHA: Oh Charlie, look at that rain come down, we'll never get home on
time.
CHARLIE: Sure we will, it's not quite midnight.
But
this old porch isn't going to keep us dry though.
ITCHY: Ahh Charlie, what are you doing?
CHARLIE: What does it look like Itch? Trying to get front door open,
no
one lives here.
BALTO: Hey good idea, maybe we can wait inside till the storm's over.
JENNA: Are you sure that's a good idea? I don't like this boys.
ANABELLE: I have a bad feeling about this Charles. There are some
rumors going around the city saying this house is haunted.
BESS: A genuine haunted house? Ooooooooooh
ITCHY: Oh no, no-no-no, not me. No way am I going inside that place.
ROVER: Would you prefer standing outside getting wet, catching a cold?
DAISEY: Very funny dear. I'm afraid myself of actually stepping into a
house that's been empty for years.
SASHA: I'm with Itchy, I'd rather stay out here and get wet.
CHARLIE: There. C'mon don't be afraid, I'll light a match.
ANABELLE: One heavenly match coming up.
DAVID : Using her angelic powers, Anabelle created a glowing
ball of blue-white energy to appear and hover in midair above Charlie's
head. The ball of light moved foreward into the darkness, the canines
followed. Once inside, the gang discovered they were standing inside a
large room filled with furniture called the FRONT PARLOR. Huge windows
gave views of the outside except some were boarded up, and pieces of
glass were missing from their frames. The curtains hung like limp
flags
in a still breeze. A large chandelier hangs from the ceiling, its
candles flickering as other candles set in scounces against the walls
cast weird patterns on the wallpaper. A fireplace glows with hot coals
though no heat is given off and at the far end of the room stand two
wooden doors, one on the left and one on the right, both closed.
LANCE: Well I'll be. This house is still full of
furniture.
CHARLIE: Yeah, it's as though someone still lived here.
BALTO: But where are the owners who lived in this house?
ROVER: Where did they go to?
ANABELLE: No One Really Knows...
SASHA: Oh thanks for shocking us angel-boss.
BESS: Ugh, there's dust everywhere, ack!
JENNA: And spiderwebs, yuck! I sure hope I don't see any spiders.
DAISEY: There's a candelabra Light some
candles.
GHOST HOST: GOOD EVENING...
ITCHY: Gaaaaaaaaaah! W-who said that?
CHARLIE: I think it came from that statue.
SASHA: Oh god, a talking statue! AAAAAAAAAAH!
BESS-JENNA-DAISEY: AIIIIIIIIIIIIE!!!
BALTO: Let's get out of here gang!
DAVID: But as they attempt to run back out, the door all by itself
begins to swing shut and closes!
ANABELLE: No! Charles, the door closed!
CHARLIE: Noooooooo! I can't get it open!
ITCHY: Oh great, that's it. We're doomed to die in this haunted place.
BESS: I'm scared.
DAVID: Meanwhile the unseen voice continues speaking.
GHOST HOST: WELCOME FOOLISH MORTALS, TO THE HAUNTED MANSION...I AM YOUR
HOST, YOUR GHOST HOST...KINDLY STEP THIS WAY...THERE'S NO TURNING BACK
NOW...YOU WILL NOT BE HARMED, BUT YOU WILL NOT BE RELEASED...UNTIL YOU
TAKE A TOUR OF MY HOME...WE HAVE SO FEW VISITORS, LIVE ONES THAT
IS...HMHMHMHMHMHMHAHAHAHAHAAH!...OUR TOUR BEGINS HERE, IN THIS GHOSTLY
GALLERY...
DAVID: Just then one of the two doors opens as if by unseen hands
revealing a room within. Charlie, Lance, Itchy, Balto, Rover, Sasha,
Jenna, Daisey, Bess and Anabelle too frightened to find another way out
obeyed their host's voice and entered the candle-lit gallery. The art
gallery was a large room, its walls were covered with paintings. As
the
dogs stepped into the room, the door behind them swung closed.
SASHA: Charlie, we shouldn't have come in here, I'm scared.
CHARLIE: I don't see a way out.
LANCE: Whoa, there are no doors, not even a window.
GHOST HOST: HERE, IN THE GALLERY...YOU SEE THERE PAINTINGS, OF SOME OF
OUR RESIDENTS...AS THEY APPEARED IN THEIR CORUPTABLE MORTAL
STATE...EVEN
IN THIS FLICKERING GLOOM, YOUR CADAVOROUS PALLOR BETRAYS AN AURA OF
FORBODING...YOUR TRUSTING MORTAL EYES TELL YOU THAT THESE WALLS ARE
STRECHING...
DAVID: As he speaks, the paintings actually begin to grow bigger or
longer, or was it the room getting taller? Charlie, Itchy and the
others could only stare with eyes wide and mouths forming a suprised
"OH" expression.
GHOST HOST: BUT LOGIC SAYS NO, IT'S MERE
HALLUCINATION...THEN LOOK ABOVE YOU, EXAMINE EVERYTHING
CAREFULLY...YOUR
LOGIC CANNOT DENY THAT THIS CHAMBER HAS NO WINDOWS, AND NO
DOORS...WHICH
OFFERS A RATHER LOGICAL CHALLENGE, TO FIND A WAY
OUT...HMHMHMHMHMHM...HAHAHAHAHAHAHA...THERE'S ALWAYS MY WAY...
DAVID: Lightning flashed from above the room illuminating the attic
areas, there seemed to be no roof. This was followed by a loud scream,
causing my friends to yell in terror and grab onto each other. From
the
rafters a corpse swayed dangling from a taut rope. A black crow flew
into the room and perched on the bookcase.
CROW: Caw, caw! The courage way out, he chose the courage way out.
Caw, caw, caw!
DAVID: The candles Anabelle held went out mysteriously. Sasha clung to
Charlie as did Itchy & Bess hugging each other in horror, so was Balto
&
Jenna, Rover & Daisey & Lance during what seemed to be an endless
darkness. In a few seconds, the candles relit. A secret panel on the
opposite side slid open exposing a dimly lit hallway. On the left side
were windows revealing a grotesque landscape frequently illuminated by
the lightning flashes. On the right side of the corridor were large
portraits. When the lightning flashed, these paintings turned into
decaying corpses!
JENNA: We should never have come in here.
BALTO: I agree, now we're stuck with no way out.
ROVER: There must be another exit or escape route somewhere, right
boss?
ANABELLE: Right. I think...
CHARLIE: You think? You mean you can't find another exit?
ANABELLE: Not so fast Barkin. I mean I don't know if there is
another exit around here on this level.
SASHA: So, what do we do? We can't stay in here forever.
BESS: We can't go back the way we came in, the door is still closed.
ITCHY: Could we break a window and climb out, maybe try to find the
front gate and escape?
LANCE: I doubt that. With that storm raging out
there, we'd probably never make it home before we all catch pnemonia.
DAISEY: I don't want to get sick and spend the rest of my days in bed.
ROVER: Wait a sec. If we can't go
back, we must go foreward. If there's a way in, there must be a way
out.
ANABELLE: Rover! That's it, you're a genius!
ROVER: I am? I did, wow! Finally I get some respect around here.
CHARLIE: Hahaha, lucky you. So what's the plan?
ROVER: Well, right now the only answer I can come up with is to take
this tour and hopefully our Ghost Host can escort us to another exit.
SASHA: You mean we have to continue walking through this house!
LANCE: I agree with Dangerfield. It's the only way.
ANABELLE: As do I! C'mon gang, let's g...
DAVID: At that moment a loud whooshing or flapping sound passes
overhead
making the girls scream.
ANABELLE-DAISEY-JENNA-BESS-SASHA: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
BALTO-CHARLIE-ITCHY-ROVER-LANCE: WHAT?!!!
BESS: I thought I heard something fly by.
JENNA: M-me too!
SASHA: What was it, did anyone see it?
DAISEY: Not me. Too dark.
ITCHY: I hope it wasn't what I think it is.
BALTO: A bat?
EVERYBODY: AAAAAAAAAAAAH! BAT!!!
ROVER: Wait, wait guys, gals. It's okay, it's just that crow.
LANCE: Really? Are you sure?!
CHARLIE: Yeah, probably that stupid crow scaring us silly.
ANABELLE: WAIT TILL I GET MY PAWS ON YOU, YOU
STUPID BIRD! I'LL CAST A SPELL ON YOU!
DAVID: Then the unseen host apologizes for frightening his guests.
GHOST HOST: DID SOMEONE SCREAM?...AHH, WE DIDN'T MEAN TO FRIGHTEN YOU
PREMATURELY...APPARENTLY THE RESTLESS SPIRIT OF AN OLD WITCH HAS TAKEN
POSESSION OF THAT POOR, WRETCHED CROW'S MORTAL BEING...BE ON YOUR
GUARD,
IT MAY WANT TO PERMANTLY REPOSESS...HMHMHMHMHAHAHAHA...COME ALONG
NOW...
DAVID: Charlie, Sasha, Itchy, Bess, Anabelle, Lance, Daisey, Rover,
Jenna and Balto walked down the long tapering corridor. There seemed
to
be a light at the far end, pitch blackness behind them. The hallway
made a sharp turn into an errie-lit limbo abound with mist and decay.
The furnishings and walls were covered with spiderwebs. A staircase
seemed to be the only passageway out. As they climbed to the 2nd Floor
they were greeted by an appaling cold. This as you know, is the
traditional manifistation of the supernatural.
GHOST HOST: I HOPE YOU DON'T HAVE AN ADVERSION TO DARKNESS AND
COLD...BUT YOU SEE, WE SPIRITS ARE SENSATIVE TO LIGHT...AND EVERY
CONSIDERATION HAS BEEN GIVEN TO OUR COMFORT, HERE IN THIS DELIGHTFULLY
DREARLLY PLACE...
JENNA: Where do we go from here?
BESS: How do we get out of this horrible place?
ANABELLE: Hmmm This seems to be the main corridor, we are on
the 2nd Floor level.
ROVER: So let's hope it leads to a back staircase and a way out.
ITCHY: To the exit, I hope.
ANABELLE: Come on let's keep going.
DAVID: But as they continue onward, something like loud clanking,
clattering can be heard approaching from another direction.
SASHA: Look out!
LANCE: Holy BLEEP-BLANKITY-BLANK! What is that?
DAISEY: Aiiiiiiiiie! A ghost!
ITCHY: Gaaaaaahaaa!
BALTO: It's attacking us, now what?!
ANABELLE: Quick, in this doorway!
CHARLIE: Follow us canines!
DAVID: The dogs ran into an open doorway just in time. Through the
dimly lit mist of the upstairs corridor a haunted suit of armor ran
screaming/laughing past Charlie & Company. Footsteps, screams and the
sounds of rattling chains chased the figure down the hallway and faded
into the darkness.
GHOST HOST: IT'S NICE TO SEE FOLKS ENJOYING THEMSELVES...IN MY HOME,
EVERY ROOM HAS WALL TO WALL CREEPS...AND HOT & COLD RUNNING CHILLS,
HMHMHMHMHMHMHMHM...
DAVID: The dogs turned their backs on the corridor and looked into the
room towards the sound of their host's voice. The candles Anabelle
held
again mysteriously dimmed and went out. They stood frozen with fright!
They were in the old conservatory, a room cluttered with decaying
flowers and plants. Broken windows in the room allowed them to see the
outside and there below was the private cemetery. Even though the rain
was falling hard, an un-natural fog choked the gravestones. The rain
was coming in through the broken windows, the air was dank and had a
musty smell. The crow flew in and perched on top of a large box
situated in the middle of the room.
SASHA: What's that noise?
ANABELLE: I'll light the candles There.
CHARLIE: Oh my god...
JENNA: It's a coffin!
BALTO: Something's trying to get out man.
LANCE: I hope it's not Dracula, king of the vampires.
ROVER: Holy s***, there goes the neighborhood.
DAISEY: I don't want him drinking my blood.
ITCHY: Or mine neither.
BESS: I'm scared.
CROW: You disturbed a guest, caw-caw! You'll be sorry for that,
caw-caw!
DAVID: The canines ran screaming from that room back into the dark
hallway. They passed several closed doors as they continued towards
the
far end. From each door they passed, natural and un-natural sounds
came
from within. Each sounded as though it were trying to get out into the
hall.
ALL GIRLS: WE'RE SO FRIGHTENED!
ALL BOYS: SO ARE WE!
GHOST HOST: WHATEVER YOU DO...DON'T
BETRAY YOUR PRESENCE, BY SCREAMING...FOLLOW MY VOICE...COME, I SEE YOU
HAVE ACTIVE IMAGINATIONS...THAT'S GOOD...
DAVID: They went into another room dimly lit by flickering candles.
And
there an unusual seance was in session.
GHOST HOST: WE ARE ABOUT TO PARTICIPATE IN A SEANCE...MADAME LEOTA IS
CONTACTING ALL SPIRITS...THEY ARE JUST DYING TO MEET
YOU...HMHMHMHMHAHAHAHAHA...
DAVID: Madame Leota the fourtune teller medium was a disembodied
spirit,
a mere talking head inside a misty crystal ball. As she envoked the
spirits, objects floated around the room in response to her commands.
MADAME LEOTA: Serpants and spiders, tail of a rat. Call in the spirits
wherever they're at! Rap on a table,
it's
time to respond. Send us a message from somewhere beyond! Goblins and ghoulies from last Halloween. Awaken
the spirits with your tamborine! Creepies
and crawlies, toads in a pond. Let there be music from regions beyond!
Wizards and witches, wherever you
dwell. Give us a hint, by ringing a bell!
ANABELLE: Charles, something's moving there in the corner.
CHARLIE: It looks like smoke. Here's another one.
SASHA: Are those real ghosts or are they fake?
BESS: I got a bad feeling about this.
DAISEY: Should we go on?
ROVER: Good idea, keep looking for the exit.
BALTO: So, what are we standing around for?
JENNA & LANCE: LET'S GO!
GHOST HOST: COME NOW...WE MUST LEAVE THIS UNHOLY CIRCLE...FOR THE
SPIRITS HAVE RECEIVED YOUR SYMPATHETIC VIBRATIONS, AND ARE BEGINNING TO
MATERALIZE...
DAVID: The Ghost Host led my dog friends through another doorway and
onto a balcony overlooking the grand ballroom. A party was taking
place, one of the strangest parties you've ever seen. There was a long
dining table covered with decayed food and withered flowers.
Spiderwebs
hung everywhere. It seemed to be a birthday party, and when a birthday
ghost blew out the candles on a cake, several other ghosts dissapeared.
They reappeared and appalauded the ghost's sucess. These party ghosts
were sitting at the table, talking-laughing and drinking wine while one
who had too much to drink was passed out underneath the table. Several
ghosts were playing on the chandelier over the massive dining table,
others were dancing while an organist played a haunting refrain.
JENNA: This is crazy, I don't believe what I see.
BALTO: I never seen ghosts partying before man.
LANCE: Or me neither blood brother.
ITCHY: Ghosts having a birthday party, wow.
BESS: Must be somebody's birthday alright.
SASHA: Look at those ghosts dancing down there.
CHARLIE: Yeah, reminds me of when I did that with Anabelle in heaven.
ANABELLE: Oh I remember that too, hmhmhmhehehehehe
ROVER: What, you two dancing in heaven?
CHARLIE: Sure, was fun while it lasted.
ANABELLE: But not when you spun me around making me dizzy.
DAISEY: Oops, hahahahaha, joke's on you.
ITCHY: Why did we ever come in this house?
ANABELLE: Hey, there's another door at the end of the
balcony, follow me angels.
DAVID: Charlie, Anabelle, Itchy, Sasha, Bess, Lance, Daisey, Rover,
Jenna and Balto entered the door and came face to face with a ghost
dressed as a bride. She was strangly illuminated and her heart glowed
red with each heartbeat. The room they were in was an unfinished attic
filled with trunks, chests, furniture, clothes, toys and dust. At one
end was a broken-down piano where a shadowy figure of a man in a top
hat
and coat played a somber version of the Wedding March. Boogymen
phantoms leap out of hiding places taunting the ghost-bride by calling
out "I DO" since she is still waiting for her lost groom lover. And as
the dogs turned to run back out the door another ghostly manifistation
appeared and blocked their way. He was a cloaked figure with an evil
grinning face, a hatbox hung from his hands. With each beat of his
bride's heart, his head dissapeared from his body and appeared in the
hatbox.
SASHA: We're trapped, there's no way out!
ITCHY: Oh god, oh god, we're doomed.
BESS: Now what?
ANABELLE: Hold the candles, I'll try to open this window.
DAVID: The angel whippet walks to one of the windows and wrestles with
the stubborn sill until finally she gets it up enough to peer outside.
ANABELLE: C'mon! We're in luck, there's a balcony out
here.
CHARLIE: Really! Itch, Sasha! It's the way out!
ITCHY & SASHA: REALLY???
EVERYBODY: YAAAAAAAAY!
DAVID: One by one the canines step through the open sill onto the ledge
outside the mansion. The storm has blown itself out, leaving behind a
clear night sky of stars and a full moon. The wind has died down, but
it is still a little cool.
ANABELLE: Watch your step, the rain made everything
slippery.
DAISEY: The candles went out again.
ROVER: Oh great, that's what the 3rd time in a row?
ANABELLE: Oh just leave them we're outside now. Everything's going to
be okay. Yo! Here's some steps down at the far end.
DAVID: She points to a fire-escape leading to the ground below.
SASHA: But they lead to the cemetary.
BESS: Do we have to go in there?
ITCHY: I got a bad feeling about this one.
BALTO: What other choices do we have bro? Want to go back inside hmmm?
JENNA: Not me, I'm not going back in there!
ITCHY: Me too Jen!
CHARLIE: Come on it's the only way home.
ANABELLE: Follow closely and don't get lost.
LANCE: You heard my boss, follow the angel.
DAVID: So my friends descended the steps to the ground level and began
their walk through the private burial grounds, trying to find their way
out of this living nightmare. They passed an old caretaker holding a
lantren, too frightened to speak. His dog was whimpering at his feet.
Suddenly there was music all around them and the sky was filled with
flying spirits. The dogs passed a group of musicians who paid no
attention to their presence. One was playing a bagpipe, another a harp
and another a trumpet. There was a hunchback playing a flute and a
drummer pounding out the tempo on a gravestone. There was a king and a
queen balancing a teeter-totter on a gravestone, and a princess
swinging
in a swing sipping a cup of tea pushed by the prince. The dogs saw a
hearse stuck in the mud, the driver and guests having a tea party too.
The coffin had slipped out, and its contents, a shrouded corpse also
was
sipping a cup of tea. Behind the hearse on a hill a group of ghosts
were enjoying a bicycle ride through the trees, some stone busts
singing
in a barber-shop quartet, opera-theater ghosts singing along and a
masked executioner singing a duet with a decapitated knight who held
his
singing head in his extended hand.
CHARLIE: There's that crow again.
LANCE: Why is it always bothering us?
CHARLIE: I have no idea bro.
ITCHY: Maybe it wants to posess one of us?
ANABELLE: Don't talk like that Itchy! That's evil stuff about spirits
taking over living peoples' bodies.
ITCHY: Sorry boss.
BESS: Maybe it wants to tell us something.
SASHA: Oh? Like what?
BALTO: That's what I like to know too.
JENNA: Like warn us of some danger?
ROVER: Probably...
DAISEY: Great Scott (Imitates Doc Brown's quotes>
CROW: Caw, caw! Beware my friends, caw, caw! They may try to follow
you home. Caw, Caw, Caw!
SASHA: Charlie, are you sure we're going the right way?
CHARLIE: Ask Ana, she knows where we are going.
ANABELLE: I think so, there's only one path. Looks like there's
something up ahead. 
