If you're ever in Amarillo
Yes, this is the place
Later, Arnold took under his wing
Arnold and Percy got into a knock-down, drag-out
And the moral of this story is:
© 2001 Bruce V. Bracken
Be sure to stop in at Arnold's
Where you'll find the biggest
Cheeseburgers in the world
With all-beef patties
That double as 12-inch
Extended dance singles
Where the leading luminaries
Of techno and house get their starts!
Moby started out here, fixing Frito Pie
'Til he mastered the art of
The Double Chili Cheeseburger/
120 beat-per-minute remix
And learned how to incorporate
Rural folksongs into electronica
From Arnold, the Groovemaster Supreme
Of the Texas Panhandle
(This before he later stole the credit
For said rural folksong/electronica hybridization
The ungrateful bastard!)
A young man from the North Side
Named Percy Fernwaller
He was an apt student
And was Arnold's favorite pupil
Until he caught him eating
What was to be a remix/double cheeseburger
Of Madonna's new hit single
Behind the counter
But after the brouhaha, Arnold forgave him
Until Percy started putting snails and tabbouleh
On the burgers and told all the customers
That the iced tea was rancid
Then he changed his name to Mirwaïs
And moved to France
Ground beef makes the bourgeoisie wanna rebel
