Author
Mrs.Connie Robertson
Published
May 9, 1999
RSD(Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy)Visit or POST a message on my message board:
Here are some inspirational and meaningful poems that will hit home with many patients that live with RSD. There's no beating round the bush here! Also notice the beautiful graphics I've used in the actual poems themselves. Worth a visit.
INJURY....
March 24th Jen (my daughter) (age 13) was playing with a "friend" (I use the word friend in quotations cause I feel a friend would'nt do what this friend did) this "friend" began to
twist Jen's arm. Jen made many request for her "friend" to stop twisting, she
said "IT HURTS" "STOP"
in turn her "friend" ignored and proceeded to twist. Shortly after, Jenny's
"friend" left to return to his home.
It was then a couple of hours later we realized that Jen's arm was in pain and swelling
was present. I felt nothing TERRIBLY serious, but only a break or
possible sprain or tear as we all have at some point in our lives.
We immediately took Jenny to the doctor the following day, which landed her in
a cast for a month. When Jen came out of the cast, I was concerned seeing the
swelling was still present. I new something was wrong.
My surprise....
I decided to take Jenny to Dr.Farless; a local specialist (The ONLY
doctor that found what it was that Jenny had) & let him have a look.
I thought, maybey a tear in the muscle or something,
something that could be fixed. BOY! WAS I WRONG AND IN FOR A SHOCK!
Turns out the doctor tells me, Jenny now has RSD.
I thought, what's RSD! I've never heard of it! I could tell by his expression
he was alarmed, and with the information he gave me I became alarmed as well!
Therefore new I had to research this immediately and see what it was we were
facing. What I found was so alarming.
Feelings....
I felt for the 1st time in my life, helpless/frightened/alone/confused/
and not a CLUE to what to do for Jenny to make this go away.
Seeing all the research I'd been studying was giving me nothing
more than a life of gloom/despair and frankly, nothing more than a life
of HELL for Jenny! We had much work to do.
Therapy....
The doctor sends Jen for therapy, I thought, GOOD,
this will help! Instead, I watch Jenny scream with therapist giving intense
agonizing treatments with the gentlest of the touch. The therapist lay's
Jenny's arm in warm water, Jenny screams with pain! The therapist rubs Jenny's
arm as softly as we would a babies arm, Jenny screams with pain!
I don't understand this.
Doctors say this is what happens when we have RSD and this is what it will
take for Jenny to possibly regain the use of her arm again. Again, there
is no known cure or guarantees.
PAIN....
This is a mother's WORST fear, to see her child in such pain.
Jenny had her 1st nerve block performed on her outer throat. The doctors
felt we could do this in the hospital with giving a local.
This turns out to be a disaster. Jenny felt ALL the pain & ALL four pokes
into her neck with the 3 inch needle which went in very deeply.
How do I know? I held her head the whole time. This procedure failed due
to having to lay perfectly still which was impossible for Jenny not to
mention Jenny was giving 4 times the amount of sedative by iv.
My husband (Rick) and I spent the next hour holding Jenny down and watching
her scream while going in and out of consciousness. We had prayed and had
such hope this would work, instead, when Jenny awoke the 1st words were
"Mommy, my arm hurts" we felt the arm, and as BEFORE the nerve block,
her arm was cold. My husband and I felt such
overwhelming disappointment therefore I began to uncontrolably cry. Daddy
tries to be strong, but in silence, I see him cry. The nerve block failing
meant more surgeries and much more pain and suffering for Jen.
4 AM, I'm scared....
It's 4 am, another night I spend exhausted, confused, walking
and pacing the floor with Jenny, watching her scream and cry with chronic pain.
The Vicodin now at 1000 mil. does nothing for the pain.
What can I DO to ease the pain!
Nothing.
Doctor says morphine is next.
Thinking....
I think to myself, how
will I pay all the upcoming doctor bills; there is no help from anyone, only
the insurance we have, but with this disease, many families find themselves
bankrupt due to the many surgeries and treatments that are required and
with no guarantees.
This started March 24th, I'm looking at HUGE mounting bills running into the
thousands setting on my desk.
I remember....
I remembered I called the
responsible party one night. We discussed our bills were faced with and
her child that inflicted this pain on my daughter causing nerve damage,
Which started the RSD that Jenny
now lives with. In so many words, the mother tells me, you're on your own
and I'm not responsible for my son doing this. I think, thanks alot! and
also think, HOW can a parent be SO cruel to say such a thing and IGNORE
there duty as a responsible parent, but, unfortunately this is what happens.
I remember what goes around, comes around, and leave it at that.
This is what separates the good people from the bad people. Is THIS the kind
of responsibility were teaching our CHILDREN!! Not in MY family we don't!
My husband and I feel, if our child hurts another child, it's OUR
responsibility to PAY for that child's injuries. We don't look for excuses
or places to place the blame. Again, we take care of a parent's responsibility.
Friends....
First and foremost I'd like to give my love and appreciation to my parents for all the love and support they have giving to us. Without my parents, life would be more difficult without there guidance. Again, I love you mom & dad and thank you so much for all that you continue to do. I'd like to thank my friends that have stuck by me threw this ordeal. One
friend in particularly, his name is Lamar Stephenson. I met Lamar through a
chat line many months ago. We became very close and even though times got
stressful and was often hard to tolerate me, Lamar STILL stood by my side, and
my family, never leaving us once. Lamar would do little things, like
sending Jenny gifts or other things in the mail. Lamar would do things like
calling daily to check on Jen, and talking with Jenny online where all
her friends disappeared as mine. We have plans of meeting Lamar very soon,
just as soon as Jen's well enough. I anticipate a huge hug from Jen to Lamar as
from my husband and myself. Thank you Lamar for all you've done for
our family, but mainly thank you for being there for Jenny and all the
information you've giving us which lead us to the understanding of RSD.
