*

A mutant is on the loose in the small town of Wickawacka, and only two very Special FBI Agents can stop it. Mulder throws Scully in the car and zooms onward into the night, howling about how "This time I really am gonna find The Truth!!"

When they arrive, they hop out of the car and trot towards a small, local store called "Henry's Market" so that Mulder can buy some sunflower seeds. Henry, a gruff older man, smiles at them. "What can I do for you?" He asks. "Sunflower seeds." Mulder replies, nonchalantly. Henry looks at him in suprise, then hands him a bag of the seeds. "That'll be 20 cents." He tells Mulder. "So cheap!" Mulder exclaims with surprise. Suddenly they hear a thud coming from the basement of the store. "Daaaadd, I'm so huuuunngry." a weird voice whines from down there. Henry sweats a little. "That's just my son, Fredrick. He's 24."

They exit the store and go to a house to talk to one of the neighbors of the victims who were killed by the mutant. They knock on the door. No one answers. Mulder and Scully look at eachother. Suddenly they hear a screech from inside the house. Mulder kicks open the door and they both draw their guns. "Federal Agents, drop your weapon!!" Scully yells. A woman crawls out of the bathroom, gasping. "WHAT HAPPENED?!?" Mulder screams. "A...a mutant..." the woman rasps "I was on the toilet and a mutant jumped out of my shower and attacked me. "What did it look like?" Scully asks. "It looked like a big freakin' mutant. It had orange eyes and slime coming off of it! And then it jumped out the window!"

"I'm goin' after it!" Mulder says, angrily. "Mulder, calm down. It's probably just some psycho kid with contacts and a slime solution on himself, trying to scare people by killing them." Scully says. "No, Scully! Don't you see?? That's what they WANT us to believe, to keep us from finding THE TRUTH!!!" Mulder is starting to foam at the mouth now. "Mulder, simmer down." Scully says, warningly placing a hand on her gun. The woman on the floor begins to speak again. "And there's something else! When the mutant jumped from the shower...it jumped off of someone!!" She says, frantically. "You mean there's someone in your shower?" Scully asks. Mulder goes in, gun aimed, and draws back the curtain. Standing there is Krycek, slime coating him, his eyes wild. Mulder's lip curls upward and his eyes widen and narrow. His face flushes redhot and bubbles start to come out of his mouth. His hand which is holding the gun begins to shake violently and he starts to see spots. He takes a sharp breath in as his lip twitches some more and says "Krycek."

Krycek opens his mouth in dazed fear and looks at the threatening Mulder. "This time I'm gonna kill you for good, scum-sucker!" Mulder snarls. Krycek falls over and smashes his head against the faucet, passing out. "You're dead meat!!!" Mulder roars, as he attacks Krycek, pounding him like he was a lump of bread dough to be kneeded fiercly, all the while, dementedly repeating the name "Krycek. Krycek. Krycek." as spit flies from his mouth and his lips twist. Suddenly Scully barges into the bathroom and shoots Mulder. "Scully, damn it!" Mulder says. Krycek suddenly wakes up and starts screaming. "The mutant found me and dragged me here! It was trying to frame me!" Then Krycek gets up and heads for the window. "NO!!" Mulder yells as Krycek makes his escape, stepping on Mulder's face as he does so, which causes Mulder to scream "NO!!" again, this time for a different reason.

"Scully, how could you let him get away?!?" Mulder demands. "I'm sorry, Mulder, I was hypnotized by your gunshot wound. C'mon, you need medical attention. I'll get you patched up." Scully replies. "Damn it, Scully." Mulder says as Scully helps him from the floor. She takes him over to the bed of the woman who lives there, and gently lays him down in it. He sighs, and begins babbling. "I'm going to find the truth, Scully. You're the only one I can trust. You'll help me won't you? Scully? We've gotta find out. Samantha. Aliens. Help." Scully has brought him some ministroni soup, and sits down beside him, feeding him. "Shhh, Mulder, you need rest." Mulder fights back tears as he sips the soup from the spoon Scully holds.

Hours later, Scully hears the woman who lives in the house moaning. "Ma'am! Ma'am are you ok?" Scully asks, rushing to her and helping her up. "Maybe I would have been if you had helped me hours ago, instead of leaving me here on the floor to slip in and out of consciousness in my pain and discomfort for five friggin' hours!!" Scully sighs and asks the woman if there's anything she can do. "I want to go to sleep!" the woman replies. Scully leads her to the bedroom. "Oops, I forgot, Agent Mulder required medical attention, I had to put him in your bed." Scully tells the woman. "WHAT THE FUCK?? Get him out of my fucking bed!!" The woman screams. "Ma'am, just calm down. We're FBI Agents." Scully walks over to the bed and stirs Mulder. "Mommy?" Mulder mumbles in his sleep. "Mulder, it's me. Wake up. You've suffered some stress and trauma and I put you to bed, but we have to go now." Mulder sits straight up in bed and looks at Scully. "Mulder, it's me." Scully says. "Where are you?" He asks. "I'm right in front of you, Mulder." She replies. "I don't think I understand, Scully. Hold on." Mulder says, reaching into his jacket and pulling out his cell phone. He calls Scully. She picks up her cell phone. "Scully." She says. "It's me." Mulder says. "Where are you?" Scully asks. "In a bed. We've got to track that mutant, Scully." Mulder tells her. "Ok, I'm on my way." Scully replies. They hang up, and look at eachother. "Mulder, it's me." Scully says. "Where are you?" Mulder asks. At that point, the woman who lives in the house begins screaming. The Agents get up and leave.

Scully is performing the autopsies on the mutant's victims. As she cuts, Mulder paces around the room, talking. "All of the victims were found with cuts in their stomachs, and their stomach contents removed. All of them were covered in slime." he says. Scully raises an eyebrow. "Mulder, I think you better take a look at this." she says. Mulder walks over and looks. "What is it, Scully?" he asks. Scully shakes her head. "All of the victims ate sunflower seeds before they were killed, Mulder." Scully says. She looks up at him. "That means you could be next." she says. Mulder frowns and thinks for a minute. "Scully, I think I know what's going on here." Mulder says. "Ok, Mulder, shoot." Scully sighes. "I think that this mutant, this creature, can only live if it eats half digested sunflower seeds." Mulder says. Scully's eyebrow spazes upward. "Mulder, are you trying to tell me that this is a mutant who can only live off the half digested remains of sunflower seeds?" Scully asks, skeptically. "Yes." Mulder replies. "Mulder...isn't it much more likely that this is just a simple case of a sicko on the loose?" Scully suggests. "Scully, that's what they WANT us to believe, to keep us from knowing, TO KEEP US FROM FINDING THE TRUUUTH!!!" He bellows. "Mulder." Scully warns, touching her gun.

The next day, the Agents are told that the investigation has been called off, and they are to come home. Mulder is furious, and the two Agents go to see the Assistant Director Skinner.

They enter the office and Skinner stands up, testily. He opens his mouth and flexes his jaw, an aggetated look on his face. "Agent Mulder, Agent Scully, we've found that this case warrents no further investigation. Your efforts have been *apreciated*." He hisses. "People died. And this thing, whatever it is, WILL kill agian." Mulder says. Skinner purses his lips. A vein bulges in his shining head. "Agent Mulder, remember who you're talking to. The case is closed. That's it." Skinner states, firmly. "Bullshit." Mulder says. "Mulder." Scully says. Mulder goes on: "What's really going on? They scared you into submission, and they're trying to scare THE TRUTH INTO SUBMISSION, BUT YOU CAN'T SCARE THE TRUTH INTO SUBMISSION, BECAUSE IT'S TOO STRONG, AND IT'S GONNA KICK YOUR ASS, FUCKING KILL YOU ALL, AAAAAHHH, HE'S HERE ISN'T HE? CANCERMAN, THAT BASTARD, WHERE IS HE??? I'M GONNA USE THE TRUTH LIKE A WEAPON AND DESTROY YOU ALLLLLLLL!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!" Mulder rants. Scully pulls her gun and prepares to "calm Mulder down", but Skinner signals to her that he will handle it. Skinner clenches his visible teeth and sucks air through them, his eyes buggin in tight fury. He walks over to Mulder "We're DONE, Agent Mulder!" He snarls, grabbing Mulder in a headlock and pulling him over to the "Time Out Chair" in the corner of the office. Skinner firmly shoves Mulder into the chair and tells him in no uncertain terms that he'd better stay put. Skinner then walks over to Scully, a tense, quick sigh coming out his nose. They look at eachother. "Sir, if I may..." Scully begins. "If we allow this killer to continue, I believe he will kill again. I'm asking you to reconsider this decision to close the investigation." Scully finishes. Skinner looks out the window. "The decision wasn't mine, Agent Scully." he sighs. "I want to protect you two." he says. Mulder grunts in the corner. Skinner continues. "Yes, Mulder, I'm trying to protect you. But I take my orders, there's only so much I can do." Skinner says, obviously bitter about it. Scully shakes her head. "So more people die." Skinner looks at her. "Look, I can't controll what you two do. If you decide to continue the investigation in secret, perhaps under the cover that you were just vacationing in Wickawacka, well...." Skinner winks at Scully. Mulder hops out of his chair in the corner. "We can continue!" He says, determinedly. "Agent Mulder" Skinner snaps, "Do you recall being told that you could get up?"

Later, when the two are back in the town of Wickawacka, they continue to investigate. "Mulder, I'm concerned that you may be a target of this killer. If, for whatever reasons, he specifically kills sunflower seed consumers, you may be in great danger. Perhaps it's better if you don't work on this case." Scully says. Mulder shakes his head. "No, Scully. I have to continue."

Later that day, when Mulder is asleep in his hotel room, something is crawling in his window. It's the mutant. Mulder thrashes miserably in his sleep as the mutant stands over him, it's orange eyes glowing psychotically, slime dripping from it. Suddenly, the mutant takes it's claws and rips open Mulder's belly. Mulder screams in horror and agony as he awakens. Scully comes bursting in, her gun aimed. "Federal Agent, drop your..." Scully says as she gets bashed in the head and the Mutant flees. "NO!! Scully!!" Mulder cries. "I'm ok!" Scully says, standing up. "Mulder! Your guts are falling out! Your stomache's been slashed open! It was trying to get at those damn sunflower seeds!!" Scully exclaims with shock and concern. Mulder stands up. "I've gotta go find it, Scully!!" he says, holding his guts in with one hand and reaching for his gun with the other. "Mulder, if you don't get to a hospital immediately, this wound will almost certainly prove fatal!!" Scully exclaims. "I don't care, Scully, I've got to get that mutant." Mulder pushes Scully aside and begins staggering out the door. "Mulder, for the love of God!" Scully cries as her partner hobbles down the hallway.

Mulder finally passes out and Scully drags his body into the car, and rushes him to the hospital. Hours later, it is determined that he will live. When he finally wakes up, Scully is sitting on the edge of the bed, smiling gently at him. "You think I look bad, you should see the mutant." Mulder jokes, feebly. "Mulder, I think it's time you removed yourself from this case, before the mutant removes your stomach to get at those damn sunflower seeds." Scully says. Mulder shakes his head. "No, Scully. I'm gonna find the truth. Are you ok? You got knocked in the head." Mulder says. "I'm fine, Mulder, it's you I'm worried about." Scully replies. Suddenly a nurse walks into the room. He is carrying a tray of toast, orange juice, and tapioca pudding for Mulder. He and Scully smile at eachother politely as he sets down the tray. "GET AWAY FROM HER!!!" Mulder shouts. "Just settle down, sir." The nurse says, tightening the restraint straps on Mulder's arms and legs.

The next day, both Agents are back on the case. They decide to go visit The Lone Gunmen, to try to find out if they know what kind of mutant could have caused the scratches on Mulder's abdomen. Frohike, Byers and Langly quickly shove the computer and everything else onto the floor, then lay Mulder down on the now bare table. Frohike rips open Mulder's shirt and the three men view the scratches for the first time. Scully views them as well. "Well, Mulder, it looks like you got scratched up by a mutant alright." Langly says. "Oh, please. There's no proof of that whatsoever." Scully states. "Well, actually, Ms. Scully, these marks look suspisciously like those made by a Rhubarbawarbee." Byers says. "What the hell is a Rhubarbawarbee?" Scully asks. "It's a creature that many Indian tribes wrote about. It supposedly is a mutant with orange eyes who drips slime and can only eat the half digested remains of sunflower seeds." Byers explains. "That is absurd!" Scully laughs out loud. Langly pokes Mulder's scratches, and Mulder shrieks. "That shriek will be great in our song "Staying Alive In A World Of Conspiracy." Langly says, having tape-recorded the shriek. "What??" Mulder demands. "We've formed a band." Langly says. "It was his stupid idea." Frohike says. "He said if we didn't do it, he'd leave us." Frohike further explains. Mulder changes the subject, "So how do we kill the mutant?" he asks. "Scully has to date me." Frohike jokes. "Well, Mulder, looks like you're a dead man." Scully jokes. Byers pipes in with the real answer: "You must force it to eat a piece of sweaty clothing." Byers says.

When they arrive back at Wickawacka, Mulder snaps his fingers. "I've got an idea! Let's go back and ask that woman who we saved from the Mutant if she eats sunflower seeds." he says. The two Agents head back to the woman's house, but before they can get there, Cancerman appears. "Lovely weather here, isn't it?" He asks, between puffs. "YOU!!!" Mulder shouts. "The case is closed, Agent Mulder. You should go while you still have the chance." Cancerman calmly states. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, YOU BLACK LUNGED SON OF A BITCH?!? WHAT ARE YOU HIDING?!?" Mulder screams. "Don't get demanding with me, sonny boy." Cancerman responds. "This is your last chance." Cancerman says, squinting in calm, sinister knowingness as he takes another drag.

"I'm not stopping until I find THE TRUUUUTH!!!" Mulder howls at the top of his lungs. Cancerman smirks. Suddenly a group of bulky men in black appear. A strange, eerie blue light floods the area. A dry leaf dances in the wind. Mulder is beaten. "MULDER!" Scully cries just before she is injected with something and blacks out. "NOOO!!" Mulder bellows just before another fist drives into his gut.

The agents awaken strapped to chairs, next to eachother in a large, strange room. There is a bulky young man in black watching them. "WHERE IS SHE?!?" Mulder screams. "She's..." The man in black begins, but Mulder cuts him off: "WHERE IS SHE?!?" "She's right the..." The man in black tries to continue. Mulder cuts him off again: "DID YOU HURT HER?!? DIIIIIID YOOOOOUUUUU?!?? So help me, if you even used the wrong tone of voice with her, I'll pull your intestines out your ass and use them to strangle you with." Mulder says. The man in black looks a bit shocked. "SCULL-AAAY!" Mulder hollars. "I'm right here strapped in the chair next to you, Mulder." Scully responds. Suddenly, they see Cancerman step out from the shadows of a corner. "GET AWAY FROM HER!!!" Mulder screams. "I'm not anywhere near her, you psychopath." Cancerman says. Sweat pours down Mulder's face. "You really should learn to do as you're told, Mr. Mulder. Don't forget that if you step too far out of line, I'll get you, my pretty. And your little friend, too." Cancerman says, squinting. "You can't keep the truth locked up forever, people have a right to know THE TRUTH!!" Mulder shouts. Cancerman signals to the bulky young man, who promptly walks over and belts Mulder across the jaw. "Mulder!" Scully cries. "You ought to have stayed on our side, Agent Scully." Cancerman smirks. "GET AWAY FROM HER!!!" Mulder screams. "Shut the hell up, before we hurt you some more!" Cancerman responds. Cancerman and the other man leave the room. Suddenly a strange, flashing light causes Mulder and Scully to pass out.

When they wake up, they are both extra paranoid, delusional, and aggressive. They are lying on the sidewalk by their car. Mulder jerks awake. "Where am I?!?" He shouts demandingly. Scully wakes up. "What's going on, here, Mulder??" She asks, suspiciously. She stands up, and falls over. They both manage to stand and stay up after a few tries. "What did you do to me, Scully?!?" Mulder hisses. "What are you talking about? Mulder, you're dangerous, you're sick, and more so than usual. FREEZE!!" Scully pulls her gun on Mulder. "Ok, ok, look, see? I'm putting my hands up, I'm putting my hands up, Scully..." Mulder quickly grabs his gun and aims it at Scully. They stand there pointing at eachother. "I'm gonna shoot you, Scully, and I'm not just gonna get you in the arm." Mulder growls. "Mulder, wait. This is insane. We're not ourselves. Put the gun down." Scully says. "Hell, no, Scully. I'm gonna blow you away." Mulder says. "Mulder, it's me, Scully. Put the gun down, and I'll put mine down." Scully says. "Come on, Mulder, fight it! I know you were psychotic to begin with, so this is effecting you more strongly than it is me, but you must fight it!!" Scully says. Mulder begins to squeeze the trigger, but he's fighting the urge to kill Scully. "Noooo." He grunts in resistance, his eyes shut tight as he struggles. Mulder grabs his head and cringes in pain. A low squeel escapes his lips. He drops the gun. Scully sighs in relief. They both get in the car and take naps untill they come back to their selves.

"Now I remember!" Mulder exclaims, when they wake up. "We must find out if that woman who we saved from the mutant eats sunflower seeds." The Agents run over to her house and beat on the door. She opens it. "YOU!!!" she shouts. "What the freak do you want??" she asks. "Ma'am, we have to ask you, do you eat sunflower seeds?" Scully asks. "WHAT??" the woman cries. "Ma'am, please remember, we did save your life." Scully reminds her. The woman snorts. "Well, as a matter of fact...I didn't eat them much untill recently." she says. "Why did you start?" Mulder asks, inquesitively. "Well, Henry at 'Henry's Market' told me how great they were. How nutricious and delicous. He convinced me to buy some." the woman explains. Mulder and Scully look at eachother and then thank the woman and then go running off to Henry's Market.

The Agents break down the door with a swift kick and then aim their weapons at Henry. "Federal Agents, drop your weapon!" Scully shouts. "I...I don't have a weapon!" Henry replies, quivering. Mulder charges for the basement. It's empty. Mulder runs back upstairs. "Where is he?" Mulder asks. "Wh-who?" Henry asks. "Your son the mutant, fool!" Mulder demands. "I..I don't know." Henry says. "You were trying to get people to eat sunflower seeds so your son could eat their stomaches, isn't that so??" Mulder cries. "I just wanted to protect him." Henry sobs. "Where is he?! Where is he!?" Scully demands. "I don't friggin' KNOW!!" Henry wails. "Let's go!" Mulder says. The two Agents run for their car and speed off.

Meanwhile, a man is preparing for bed when he hears something at his window. It's the mutant. Soon it is attacking him. Right then, Mulder and Scully's car screeches up at the front door of the man's house. The two FBI Agents run from the car and kick down the door. Iside the house, the mutant is already slashing at the man's stomache. Both Agents begin firing at it. "Wait, we have to feed it a sweaty piece of clothing!" Mulder says. "Mulder, are you suggesting..." Scully begins, but stops to watch Mulder pulling off his left shoe and then grabbing the sock. He lunges straight for the mutant. "Mulder!" Scully cries, concerned. Mulder jams the sock into the mutant's mouth, and the the mutant withers and stops moving.

The body of the mutant is lying on the autopsy table, ready for Scully to examine it. Mulder is there. Suddenly, they hear a scream downstairs. They both run to see what it is, but find nothing. When they get back upstairs, the mutant body is gone. "Aww SHIT!!!" Mulder exclaims, thrashing his head forward a bit. "Someone must have taken it!!" Scully says. "Cancerman! Or maybe...maybe the thing wasn't really dead." Mulder says. Mulder and Scully look at eachother. Mulder slams his fist down on the autopsy table. "I can't freakin' believe this Scully!! After all our fucking hard work!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHHH!!!!" Mulder explodes. "Mulder, calm down....Mulder..." Scully says, as her partner begins to rave once again. "We were CLOSE, Scully. It could have happened this time!! I've got to find the truth, I've got to find Samantha, I've got to kill everyone, I've got to have more sunflower seeds...AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!" Mulder screams, while foaming at the mouth. Scully shakes her head and fires her gun. "DAMN IT, Scull-eeeeee!!" Mulder whines. "Sorry, Mulder. You didn't leave me much choice." Scully says, tucking her gun away. Scully helps Mulder up and then treats and bandages his wound. As they leave the building and step out into the fresh, mildly sunny spring day, Cher's rendition of "Walkin' In Memphis" begins to play, from where, who knows. The two agents look at eachother and smile. Then they start to dance. All around, as if in a ballroom, and ontop of cars, twirling and leaping. Then they laugh a little, and head for the car. They know it's time to get back to deal with more X Files.