April 28, 1999

Dear Diary,

I'm sitting in the back of the kitchen at this wedding that I told Joey I would help her cater. Actually I told Pacey. I'm too sensitive at weddings, too emotional. But it's brought out the best in me today. I've been acting out a fantasy. I'm having one of those revelation days, I guess you could say. I realize today as Pacey and I worked together all day that we really clicked. I really love him. It's so weird. Someone who won't run away becuase of the growing number of problems that arise in my life. And he's still sticking around. I've found my match.

All day today I've just been planning our wedding. And I stupidly mentioned it to Pacey and I think I shocked and/or surprised him. After the flash of panic on his face he made a joke, but I hope I didn't do something wrong. But hey! A girl's gotta dream right? And I know Pacey loves me enough not to let a little thing like that affect us.

Wow! Look at that! I was optimistic about something! That's a first. Marnie would be proud. Everyday I see a positive change more than likely brought on by Pacey. He makes me so happy.

I'm glowing right now. I just had the best dance with a guy I love. An act like that and he may get lucky tonight (would've thought that I'd be saying that a year ago!) At least Abby, that bad person I'd rather not call a horrid name on my great day, is gone! I thought she was going to ruin everything again. I hate her! I hear Pacey arguing with Joey right now. Again. I guess I must leave my little hiding place. What a GREAT day! Nothing could make my mood change!