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- 457.You've ever been blacklisted by a bowling alley.
- 458.Your 'huntin dawg' cost more than the truck you drive him around in.
- 459.You prefer to walk the access length of your jeans rather than hem them.
- 460.If your idea of a divorce settlement is splitting the bills equally.
- 461.If the entire police force of your town knows you on a first name basis.
- 462.There is a shrine to the Dukes of Hazard somewhere in your home.
- 463.If your life long dream is to get the autograph of the General Lee from the TV show Dukes of Hazard.
- 464.You claim your pets as dependents on your income tax.
- 465.You only know one foreign city, Copenhagen.
- 466.You have to slip a bottle of Jack Daniels to the emissions guy so that your truck will pass.
- 467.If the "Name" on your truck is "The Money Pit."
- 468.You've ever used the scope on your huntin' rifle to locate your kids.
- 469.Someone yells hoe-down and your girlfriend hits the floor.
- 470.You've ever stolen a street sign cuz it had your name or your family's name on it.
- 471.Stealing road signs is a family outing.
- 472.You save cooking grease in a coffee can.
- 473.You have more things with Hank Williams Jr.'s name on them than your own.
- 474.You have ever carried leftovers home in your handbag.
- 474.You keep catfish or minnows in your aquarium.
- 475.You leave the dumpster with more stuff than you came with.
- 476.You have more gas than your car.
- 477.Your wife needs to stand on a plastic five gallon bucket to get into the truck.
- 478.You brag that you can chug a beer in three seconds instead of five because of the new wide-mouth cans.
- 479.Your brush with fame, aside from being on tv describing the way the tornado sounded, was on the Jerry Springer show, kicking your grand dads ass for sleeping with your wife!
- 480.You secretly get your firewood from your neighbor's yard.
- 481.You've ever gotten carbon monoxide poisoning while driving your vehicle.
- 482.Your picture is on the wall of fame in more than 3 bait stores.
- 483.Your picture is on the wall of fame in several restaurants for eating the "big one" that no one else can eat!
- 484.Your family reunion is sponsored by a beer company.
- 485.The first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are "Howdy!", "HEY!" "HEY YOU!!" or "How Y'all Doin'?" (If they respond with the same... then they're a redneck too!)
- 486.There have ever been any gun parts, magazines, or ammunition stored on the window ledge of your kitchen. Particularly if they have lain there long enough for the sun to bleach the paper on the shotgun shells.
- 487.When you leave your house, you are followed by federal agents of the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the only thing you worry about is if you can lose them or not.
- 488.You have ever removed the - zoom scope from your deer rifle to use at a KISS concert.
- 489.You have guns & knives in your house that you cannot find.
- 490.You've ever pruned your trees with a shotgun.
- 491.If your idea of a night on the town is ordering two Big Macs and a large fry.
- 492.If you met your first and present wife at the Dairy Queen.
- 493.You have more than five magazines on the back of your toilet.
- 494.You had a necklace made from a beer tab.
- 495.If you've ever tried to marry a judge just to get out of paying a traffic ticket.
- 496.If you watch the "Jeff Foxworthy Show" religiously.
- 497.You know all the lyrics to the hit song "CONVOY"
- 498.You've found every one of your pets.
- 499.The best art work you own is a cut out from a twelve pack of beer.
- 500.You own any willow furniture you made yourself.
- 501.Your not allowed to mention the game warden at the table.
- 502.You enter a fully functioning, deserted restroom and urinate in the sink.
- 503.If your best crystal used to contain snuff.
- 504.You've ever dipped snuff during a job interview.
- 505.You wore your Carhart overalls and matching coat to your senior prom.
- 506.You ever re-mortgaged your house to buy a bass boat.
- 507.You have an imprint of a tobacco can on the back pocket of your favorite blue jeans.
- 508.Your grandmother can properly execute the sleeper hold.
- 509.You smoked during your wedding.
- 510.You think going formal is wearing your good overalls.
- 511.You own the big truck that transports trailer homes.
- 512.Your mobile home still has the flags and signs that say "Wide Load."
- 513.The UFO hotline limits you to one call per day.
- 514.Your dog has it's own place setting at the dinner table.
- 515.Your tires on your truck are bigger than your wife.
- 516.You have your own dog kennel in your back yard.
- 517.If you have a 'reserved' cell at the police station.
- 518.You got married at a monster truck rally.
- 519.Your coon dog was the "Best Man" at your wedding.
- 520.You've ever had to appear in court because of your dogs.
- 521.You sit on your roof Christmas Eve with a shotgun hoping to fill your deer quota for the year.
- 522.Your doghouse and your living room both have the same shag carpet.
- 523.The passengers enter your vehicle through the driver's-side door.
- 524.Your idea of a luxury sedan includes running boards, a bug deflector, and an extended cab.
- 525.Your favorite restaurant has a gas pump in front of it.
- 526.You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night. 424.You think potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'oeuvre.
- 527.Your boots cost more than your wedding ring.
- 528.You think "megabytes" means a good day fishing.
- 529.You've ever changed the numbers on your house so the police can't find you.
- 530.Your deer stand has an address.
- 531.You always thought "Guns and Roses" was something you get for your anniversary.
- 532.You've ever spent a Sunday afternoon shooting mice out of your kitchen cabinet.
- 533.You've ever relieved yourself from a moving vehicle.
- 534.You had to hitchhike on your honeymoon.
- 535.Your pickup truck and wife are the same age.
- 536.You've ever given livestock as a wedding present.
- 537.You've ever RECEIVED livestock as a wedding present.
- 538.You have 50 keys on your belt or keychain, and only five locks you need to open.
- 539.You have a kill switch on your car and you use it every day.
- 540.Your 23-channel CB radio is used to communicate with your family.
- 541.You call your boss, "dude."
- 542.You've ever tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
- 543.You've ever been arrested for Jaywalking.
- 544.Your bridal veil was made of window screen.
- 545.You whistle to get the attention of your waiter or waitress.
- 546.You think an oil change involves a comb and bottle of Vitalis.
- 547.Your state senator is willingly photographed with no shirt and a leather vest on a Harley, but refuses to take a Breathalyzer test.
- 548.The neighborhood dogs are afraid to come around your house because the fowl are big enough to hurt them.
- 549.The most commonly heard phrase at your family reunion is "What the hell are you looking at, Shithead?"
- 550.You have ever had deer graze in your front yard close enough to the house that you could throw a rock and hit them.
- 551.You Duct Tape yer pants to hem them if they're too long.
- 552.You don't think baseball players spit and scratch too much.
- 553.You've ever made change in the offering plate.
- 554.The tobacco chewers in your family aren't just men.
- 555.Your beer can collection is considered a tourist attraction in your home town.
- 556.You've ever held somebody up with a caulk gun.
- 557.Your watchband is wider than any book you've ever read.
- 558.You know who is actually leading the Winston Cup series.
- 559.You have more carpet on your toilet than on your floors.
- 560.Your two-year-old has more teeth than you do.
- 561.You've ever driven a tractor to school.
- 562.You call rust a quality paint job.
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