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- 355.Your flashlight holds more than four batteries.
- 356.Your horse can count higher than you.
- 357.Your mamma's bra is so large they use it to measure first downs
- 358.Any of your kids were conceived in a car wash.
- 359.Chiggers are included on your list of top 5 hygiene concerns.
- 360.Every electrical outlet in your house is a fire hazard.
- 361.Getting a package from your local post office requires a full tank of gas in the truck.
- 362.Your property has ever been mistaken for a recycling center.
- 363.You recycle your empty beer cans to get money to buy more beer!
- 364.Your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.
- 365.Every magazine on your coffee table has a piece of toilet paper for a bookmark.
- 366.Your idea of cleaning house is throwing everything in the back yard.
- 367.Even after the divorce you still call your Ex "Cuz."
- 368.Every workday ends with the same argument about who gets to ride in the cab of the truck.
- 369.MOTEL 6 turns off the lights when they see you coming.
- 370.One of the options on your truck is a spittoon.
- 371.One or more doors to your house or trailer are periodically unusable due to nesting fowl.
- 372.Your idea of new siding on the house is more tar paper.
- 373.Your grandfather can sense a storm coming on by a mysterious twitching in his knee.
- 374.Your mama hollers "jiggle the handle!" when you're done in the bathroom.
- 375.Your four-year-old is a member of the NRA.
- 376.Your handkerchief doubles as your shirt sleeve.
- 377.You have to check in the bottom of your shoe for change so you can get Grandma a new plug of tobacco.
- 378.You have the local taxidermist's number on speed dial.
- 379.You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best picture.
- 380.You live close enough to town to get garbage service, but don't use it because they won't come down your driveway to get it.
- 381.You liked the velvet picture of Elvis that someone in a van sold you beside the highway better than anything you saw at an art show or museum.
- 382.You're watching the Beverly Hillbillies and the mention of Granny's pickled owl gizzards throws a craving on you.
- 383.You wonder why there isn't a hairstyle called "The Hat Line."
- 384.You've ever had to siphon gas from your lawn mower to put into your truck.
- 385.You think icing is what you do to your front steps before your mother in law comes over.
- 386.You've ever tried to drown a fish.
- 387.You buy your jewelry at the hardware store.
- 388.You've ever had to knock the spider webs down to use the bathroom.
- 389.Your Christmas stocking is full of ammo.
- 390.You go to the DMV to transfer the title to your home.
- 391.You actually like Spam.
- 292.Your pickup truck has a bigger turning radius than your house.
- 393.Your wife howls at the moon more than your huntin' dogs.
- 294.The same pair of boots have been in your family for five generations and they're only twenty years old.
- 295.You go swimming in the drainage ditch behind your house.
- 396.Your kids fight with the dogs for their dinner.
- 397.You have more pet names for your huntin' dog than for your girlfriend.
- 398.You mistake the offering plate for a spit can.
- 399.You go to church to pick up women.
- 400.You bring your dog with you to church.
- 401.You think that Australia is ruled by the south because their flags are similar.
- 402.You think the Franklin Mint is a breath freshener.
- 403.Your only tie is made of leather, silver and turquoise.
- 404.You buy a can of Mountain Dew just to serve as a container to spit tobacco juice in.
- 405.If BBQ is a daily thing.
- 406.You think that the Dark Side is a room in your house.
- 407.You think doctorin' involves mamma's sewing kit and a jug.
- 408.You've ever held a guy over your head because of a fight over a CD radio.
- 409.You prefer to sleep in the truck than in your house.
- 410.You have heard more than four people say "Your mamma...she's naked!" before running out of a room with new heart conditions.
- 411.You've ever stood in line to have your picture made with a freak of nature.
- 412.You break wind in public and blame it on your kid.
- 413.You've ever valet parked a snowplow.
- 414.You vacuum the sheets instead of washing them.
- 415.You've ever gotten an official letter of recognition from a tobacco or beer company.
- 416.You've ever taken reading material into an airplane restroom.
- 417.You've ever paid for a 6-pack of beer with pennies.
- 418.There are hubcap wind chimes anywhere on your block.
- 419.You have a Bud Light pool table light hanging over your dining room table.
- 420.The strongest smell in your house is butane.
- 421.Your dog passes gas and you claim it.
- 422.You ask the preacher, "How's it hanging?"
- 423.You go to a stock car race and don't need a program.
- 424.You think potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'oeuvre.
- 425.You played the banjo in your high school band.
- 426.The velvet paintings in your house were bought from an art dealer on the side of the highway.
- 427.You have no hubcaps on your car because you're using them as bowls to feed you hunting dogs in.
- 428.More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.
- 429.You think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.
- 430.You've ever barbecued Spam on the grill.
- 431.None of your shirts cover your stomach.
- 432.You consider "Outdoor Life" deep reading.
- 433.You prominently display a gift you bought a Graceland.
- 434.Birds are attracted to your beard.
- 435.The diploma hanging in your den contains the words "Trucking Institute."
- 436.Your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board.
- 437.You were shooting pool when your kids were born.
- 438.Your favorite Christmas present was a painting on black velvet.
- 439.You think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
- 440.You've ever stolen clothes from a scarecrow.
- 441.You've ever shot a deer from inside your house.
- 442.You have more that two brothers named Bubba or Junior.
- 443.You clean your nails with a stick.
- 444.You prefer car keys to a Q-tip.
- 445.Your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack.
- 446.Your home has more miles on it than your car.
- 447.Your Christmas tree is still up in March.
- 448.You've ever been arrested for loitering.
- 449.There is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house.
- 450.There are more than five McDonald's bags currently on the floorboard of your car.
- 451.There is a wasp nest in your living room.
- 452.The Home Shopping Channel operator recognizes you voice.
- 453.You burn your front yard rather than mow it.
- 454.You've ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.
- 455.The taillight covers of your car are made of tape.
- 456.Your car has never had a full tank of gas.
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