Gabrielle's Scroll---Coming Clean

I seemed to have an immediate attraction to Xena that day she rescued my family and fellow villagers. She was very beautiful, but her willingness to defend the innocent even though she could be the fiercest of warriors is what drew me to her. Actually, I was very surprised when she finally let me stay with her. I knew she had to have some interest in me to allow me in her life. That was when my life truly began.

I have seen her fight her dark side so many times. This only makes me respect her more, but I hurt for her inward battle. I try my best to reassure her that no matter what, I want to stay by her side. Because in the end, she always chooses the greater good. I knew without a doubt that I loved her ultimately after our experience with Ulysses. I tried to convince her that I didn't mind if she joined Ulysses…she deserved a happy life, someone to love her and take care of her…but that someone was supposed to be me.

I didn't know how to tell her, because compared to all the lovers she had, what did I have to offer her? Little sexual experience, I wasn't a great fighter, and I probably seemed like a kid to her. But I knew something I had that she hadn't experienced…the most dedicated heart she could ever find, even if she traveled to the corners of the earth. The love I had for this woman was indescribable. It was not only passionate, but I truly adored her. I would lay down my life for her in a heartbeat. And I knew it would never change. I can't express how relieved I was when Ulysses was reunited with his wife. I had never been so happy to set sail in my life. I had her back.

One of our most difficult times was just a few weeks back when I was literally scared beyond belief. My experience over the whole ordeal made me wonder if I was really tough enough to handle every situation. I was afraid, but worse than fear, I was alone-and that was the hardest part of all. Xena was there in body, but her personality changed and her warrior instinct overrode her usual loving heart towards me.

I had only heard of The Horde, and could tell by Xena's stories that even she didn't know how to conquer them. When I saw fear race through her, I almost panicked. We were able to find refuge in a camp, whose soldiers had been fighting The Horde for some time. Their ambition had depleted as severely as their supplies. It looked like an impossible situation. And I suppose that possibly Xena had to revert to her old ways so that she could command complete control and respect from the soldiers. But her coldness to me--the vacant look in her eye--left me feeling separate from her for the first time. By the end, it only worked for the strengthening of our love, and that's when I began to love her as my soul mate-to realize that without her, my life meant nothing. Nobody understood me like Xena, and nobody could compare to Xena. She was everything to me, and I decided I was ready for more. Our relationship was ready to advance. I wanted her.

I would awaken from dreams, and have to concentrate to make sure I hadn't talked in my sleep or touched her…I suppose I thought of her naked body more than I realized, because it seemed that almost every night, I would dream of her in some way that only made me wake up with new visions of our lovemaking, and also a little "excited", to say the least.

I had to devise a plan to make my move. She had to know how I felt, even if she laughed in my face, which I doubted she would. She might not accept my love, but she would not belittle me. It was continually on my mind, and I knew the time had come to reveal my true feelings.

Riding behind Xena on Argo, I loved leaning against her back, acting like I was so exhausted from traveling. I knew I had opportunities galore while we were traveling like this to just start talking about what was on my mind. However, it seemed like my mouth and thoughts wouldn't communicate. Being that close to her was what I craved. I found myself holding my chest a little closer than usual against her back, and wrapping my arms around her waist a little tighter. I could literally devour this creature! Gods, she was so sexy and made me tingle in places I wasn't used to noticing.

Xena said we were going to be staying in an Inn this evening at Pergos. This was my opportunity to let her know how I feel. Looking so forward to a nice, hot meal, a soft, fluffy bed, and an entire night with my warrior, I had made up my mind that I would hold nothing back. Yes, tonite was the night. I had everything pictured in my mind how it would be…I wanted to be so appealing to her that she couldn't resist me. Maybe I should convince her to stop for a bath before we arrived in town…just in case we weren't able to draw a bath before I took my warrior to bed. Besides, a chance to see her bare skin and body always proved for a little welcomed stimulation. It was just what I needed to give me the courage to reveal it all tonight-heart, body and soul.

I was deeply thinking about suggesting a bath in a nearby lake when she asked, "Are you asleep back there?" I jumped, and she laughed because she had startled me. "And just what have you been daydreaming about now? Care to tell me a new story?" If she only knew…

"Xena, can we stop for a refreshing bath before we ride into Pergos? It sure is warm today, and I feel like I'm covered with dirt!" She hesitated and almost acted as if she didn't want to stop, but with a few little 'please Xenas', she finally agreed. Did she not want to be close to me? Was there someone else she was meeting tonight? I tried to shrug off these negative thoughts, and concentrate solely on my mission…seducing this gorgeous woman. By the gods, I never considered loving a woman before Xena. Now, I couldn't consider loving any other woman, or man, with all that my heart felt.

Without hesitation, I stripped off my clothes and tried to help her hurry and do the same. She seemed a little irritated today, and it was all I could do to not question her mood. I knew this was a major turn off for Xena, and when she was ready to talk to me about something that bothered her, she would. Her body was so inviting to me, and I had to control my eyes to not stare at her. I jumped in the water, and Xena followed me in a few minutes later. For some reason, she cut our playtime short and said she needed to brush down Argo. I decided to just back off and try not to let her distance trouble me. She didn't act angry with me, and I knew I had done nothing that should annoy her. As I walked out of the water, I saw Xena looking at me, and then quickly shifted her eyes while she finished putting on her armor. It's like she was in another world with her thoughts. I wondered if this was going to turn out the way I had planned.

Our ride into Pergos was a quiet one. I was starving, and near sunset, we arrived in town and agreed it was time for a hot meal. After devouring a delicious dinner, we got our room key and went upstairs. Upon opening the door, I smiled with delight because the room was perfect. It had a large window, a wonderful bed, and even our own bath. How perfect was this?

"Gabrielle, are you ready for bed?" Xena asked. It almost took my breath, because the time had nearly arrived for my confession. However, as I began undressing, Xena quickly left and said she was going to make sure Argo was settled in at the stable. Maybe she just needed to go for a walk. In the meantime, I decided to take another bath and use the wonderful-smelling bath oil I had found in our room. Before getting into the tub, I looked out the large window and saw Xena looking up to our room from the street…she was so beautiful, and I decided to not make her feel like I was untrusting, so I simply waved and settled into the tub.

I was already so worked up after all these thoughts today. I was tempted to touch myself but at the same time, I wanted to save this built-up fiery passion all for her. When she felt the wetness between my legs, she'd have no doubt what I wanted. But I knew her…she might be gone until late in the night. For some reason, she wouldn't give me the chance to be her lover. I had to find out if it was because she wasn't attracted to me, or was it because I was too young, or did she not want a committed relationship. I decided that I would find her and bring her back…I had to take control. If she turned me down, at least I would know how she truly felt. I hated the thought of her giving her body to anyone else.

I had noticed her looking at the first tavern we passed when riding into town. It was a little farther than I cared to walk alone, especially during nighttime, but I was completely driven at this point, and also felt confident that I could defend myself if necessary. I opened the doors and noticed how rough the people were. I searched the room for Xena, and finally spotted her sitting at a table near the bar next to quite a handsome man.

For some reason, I wasn't surprised, but I also wasn't very happy. She spotted me as soon as I walked in, and I continued to walk towards her. She got up from her seat and met me halfway, pulling me to the side and demanded to know what I was doing there. I wanted to yell, "because I love you, can't you see?" but she acted so aggravated that even my temper raised a little. Fine…if she didn't want me, I could find someone who did. And then maybe she'd see what she was missing.

I made my way to the bar, and noticed several men looking at me. There was a table of guys who asked me to join them, and after sitting down, I wish I had never came in this place. Even though I wanted to make Xena see that I could choose to be with somebody else, I just couldn't do it. I didn't enjoy this game and I looked up to see her eyes locked with mine. I hated seeing her with that guy, and then to my astonishment she kissed him! He was all over her. I was crushed, but could not let her see my true feelings. The man to my left started rubbing my arm, and I had to think quickly how to get out of this situation without Xena's help…especially since she was so engrossed in her own satisfaction.

"I'm meeting someone here…and I'm very much involved with this person." The rather filthy man said, "Well, it doesn't look like he's here, or if he is, he doesn't know you even exist!" I was afraid he was right. The whole table of men started laughing at his comment, and they all wanted to know just whom it was I had come here to meet.

I was sick of the pretense, and I thought more than ever, this was the time to let her know that I did follow her here…to be with her. When I pointed out Xena as the one I was meeting at the tavern tonight, they acted as if it was the most hilarious thing they had ever heard. Xena undoubtedly had a reputation of loving both women and men, so they asked her if this was true. I sat, holding my breath, wondering what her reaction would be. I had no doubt that she would get me out of this situation, but I needed to how she was going to react to what I had started.

I could tell that Xena wasn't enjoying this confrontation with the men, especially when they told her to prove it was true what I was saying. It appeared that a fight was going to break out, and I had to stop this from going any further. "Xena, let's just get out of here," I said quietly. The men were still laughing and asking Xena to show them I was her little bitch. This seemed to cause her anger to rise immediately. Xena looked at me and said softly, "Let's give them what they want. It doesn't have to mean anything."

As bad as I wanted it to mean something, I agreed, and when she pressed her lips to mine, I immediately lost myself to where we were. With what seemed like a natural reflex, I wrapped my arms around her neck and enjoyed the softness of her mouth. My tongue parted her lips, and both our mouths melted into one another. My head swirled and my body pressed against hers while time stood still. I couldn't imagine a greater rush, and I knew she felt the same. I just wanted to be alone with her, and whispered while still gazing into her eyes, "Let's go back to our room." With no verbal reply, she never let go of my hand and we walked out of the tavern. I was walking on clouds.

Xena's Scroll--Coming Clean
The Xena and Gabrielle XXX Scrolls