Healing--Gabrielle's Scroll (Part 1)
If the grains of sand all around us were weighed together, my heart would weigh even heavier. Xena was doing her best to comfort me and the words she was speaking made sense, but they couldn't reverse the mistake I had made. When Korah's father approached me and said, "I guess this evens the scales between us…" I felt nothing but complete regret. Because of my hasty misjudgment, his son had been taken from him. I acted quickly because I feared for Xena's safety and it caused an innocent life to end.
After Tazir graciously invited us to stay as long as we like, we were alone. Xena moved to sit beside me. "Are you ready for bed?"
"Not yet, I'd rather sit out here for a while. You can go on to bed if you're tired." I laid my head on her shoulder, finding the feeling of her body and presence my only solace.
"Do you want me to go inside?"
I moved my head to look at her. "Not really, I'd rather you sit out here with me."
"I'm glad," she said, smiling at me with total love in her eyes. I was, too. I needed Xena by my side more than ever.
She took my hand and led me to sit under the beautiful night sky. We walked up one of the dunes that overlooked Tazir's camp. The desert had grown cold in the darkness, and Xena had brought a blanket along with us. She wrapped it around us, and we sat there in silence. I laid my head back on her shoulder, and her arm came around to hold me.
"It wasn't supposed to be this way," I finally said. I told her I had planned on us helping these people against the Romans, and then I was going to spend the rest of the time making love to her in our cozy, comfortable tent. Instead, I had been restrained for an entire night beside Korah's lifeless body, buried in the sand to have my head politely removed with a club, and Xena had once again saved my life. I was very happy to be safe in her arms again, but I didn't know how I was going to make room for this terrible guilt I was carrying with me. I felt sick inside, and I was having a hard time reasoning why I should be alive. Other than my love for Xena, I felt like nothing else mattered.
Xena was more supportive than she had ever been. She began telling me what my heart felt, that she knew I felt like I deserved to die. She gave me the credit for keeping her on her path of goodness, which I argued that she had to want to do better to be better. It's funny how loving someone can change a person. Love is a powerful thing.
She was my rock throughout so many rough times here of late. "Xena, I'm sorry I can't just shake this feeling I'm having. I love you so much, and you are the only way I am getting through this." I looked into her eyes and ran my fingers through her hair. "What would I do without you?" I wanted to cry, but held it back. She was so sweet when she said, "Aren't you lucky you don't have to find out?" I kissed her softly, needing to make a connection.
We sat awhile longer and took in the beauty of the night sky. "Xena, are you ready for bed?" She knew what I needed from her. Right now, to be in her arms was the only place I wanted to be. We stood and she led me back to our tent. I was so exhausted from having no sleep the past couple of days, but I was afraid to go to sleep. Sensing my fear, she made us each a cup of hot tea and tried to lighten the mood as much as she could. She fixed our bedroll and sat down and patted the spot beside her. "Let's get some sleep, Gabrielle."
My eyes were stinging from the terrible sandstorm, and I had gotten separated from Xena again. I kept calling for her, trying to hear from which direction her voice was coming. I searched for her for what seemed like hours, but finally I caught a glimpse of both Xena and her horse. Suddenly a figure appeared and was headed towards her, and I knew for certain this person was armed. I looked very carefully because I didn't want to make the same mistake again, but I couldn't let someone harm her, either, when she was defenseless. I ran forward, grabbing my sais, ready to protect my love, and the person quickly drew their sword and stabbed me before I could defend myself. I fell to the ground, shocked at the pain of being run through with the blade of a sword. Xena told the person, "Now you're even…" and she pulled the hood back to reveal his identity. It was Korah.
The blade had sliced through my chest and the pain was so real. I screamed when I realized Xena was not going to help me, and I would be covered in no time by all the sand. I looked to my left and saw all the blood leaving my body. Terrified of smothering, I knew I needed to get up. My body was paralyzed, and all I could do was lie there and cry. Korah stood over me, laughing and telling me I had finally got what I had deserved. That's when I awoke to Xena picking me up in her arms.
"Shhhh, Gabrielle…hey, it's just a dream. You're all right. I've gotcha now." I buried my face in her neck, and wrapped my arms tightly around her neck. She carried me to a chair in our tent and sat down, holding me in her lap. My heart felt like it was breaking inside, and crying was all I could do. Crying for Korah's life. Crying for my misjudgment. Crying because it couldn't be fixed. Why would Xena even want me around after this?
She wrapped herself around me, rocking me softly. "Baby, you've got to stop this. As unfortunate as it is, you can't change anything about this, and we've got to go on. How many times have you told me to forgive myself?"
I knew she was right. About everything. "I know, " I said, as I moved so I could look at her.
She wiped at my tears, and said, "Gabrielle…it's going to take some time. Trust me, it will get better. I love you more than you know, and I'll help you all I can." She held me back to her chest, and we sat there quite awhile longer. She washed my face and talked about our trip home in the morning. I must have went to sleep, because the next thing I knew, it was daylight and she was whispering in my ear as she laid beside me, "Time to get up, sleepyhead." I was definitely ready to go home.
When we arrived at the dock, there was a message waiting for us from Virgil. He had left word for Xena and I to meet him and a friend. I was skeptical, because he couldn't seem to get the hint that I was completely and madly in love with Xena. Xena seemed to think this might be more of a business than social visit. During our travel to meet them, I tried not to talk too much about killing Korah. I didn't want Xena to get weary with endless discussions. But what we faced with the Cannibals was even more frightening.
When we finally discovered Virgil and Hosef's campsite, we could tell something had gone terribly wrong. There was fresh blood all over the place, and when we were attacked by a group of cannibals just a way up the river, I was afraid we might not make it out alive to find Virgil. I was stabbed in the side and thrown into the river, but Xena saved me yet again and we spent the rest of that day and long into the night in the back of a cave. It was freezing, and we had no way of warming ourselves. My wound had caused a high fever to set in, and I'm not sure what I said to Xena. I can remember thinking Xena was Hope as I tried to warn her to get as far away as we could, because Xena would kill her. I didn't mean for this to hurt Xena, but I'm afraid it did. Now I know she was only doing what she knew was best. I couldn't see that at the time. I was, however, able to tell her that if I didn't make it out alive, I wanted to be buried with her family in Amphipolis.
In order for Xena to get me to dry land, the only choice she had was to scale a cliff with me tied to her back. She had to leave me for the cannibals to find me, and it had to be one of our most terrifying experiences. That was one time I was glad Virgil was there and cared for me so sweetly. Xena completely surpassed herself with the way she saved us and still put a stop to the violence of the tribe. It was all in the timing, but she made it work. I ended up taking another life, but it was then I realized that when faced with a choice, I would have done the same thing in the desert. Xena was my priority, and sparing her life was what I would do, no matter whom I had to put down.
We were a few days from Athens when we parted ways with Virgil, and found the most beautiful spot to set up camp. We traveled until almost nightfall. We had stopped in Thessaly and got some things to eat, and it was the first time I had been truly hungry in quite some time. Xena caught some fish in the lake right beside our camp, and we both felt great relief, to be heading back to some type of normality and simply enjoying our life together. We hadn't made love in over two weeks, and my hunger for her had also reappeared. She was helping me cook, and I just stopped everything and told her how much I truly, truly loved her. She still wouldn't make the first move, and I knew she was trying to give me plenty of time to get my strength back and to let my mind clear from all the terrible things that had happened lately. If I had my way, we would be together before this night was over.
Our dinner was scrumptious. I was simply stuffed, and moved to sit with Xena against a fallen tree. She wrapped her arm around me, and we enjoyed the silence and tranquility of our surroundings, and in our lives, for that matter. I had learned to appreciate the small things it seemed, more and more. We decided to bathe in the calm water, and looking at her body and the way the water rolled off her breasts let me know it was time. I stood and held my arms out to her, and not saying a word, she met me in an embrace that started our passion rising from the moment our skin touched. Gods, she felt so good. Her nipples were hard and touching my chest in the most sensuous way. When she reached down and kissed me, my mouth welcomed her arrival and let her know I was very ready to be loved.
She led me out of the water and back to our bedrolls by the fire. We dried quickly where necessary, and became wetter in other areas all at the same time. "Xena, please make love to me." With no words, she laid me back and just looked into my eyes for the longest. She traced my body with her fingers, seeming to remind herself of what I felt like and taking in every detail of my body. Brushing my bangs back, she asked, "Are you sure you are ready? You're not just doing this for me?" When I pulled her to me and devoured her mouth, she stopped asking questions.
She began by making love to my breasts, which was always very sensitive to her touch. Her mouth somehow worked perfectly in sucking me in and letting her tongue then take control. I felt her teeth brush against my nipple as her hands covered my breasts, and the sensation took my breath away. It frightened her and she yanked her head back, afraid I wasn't enjoying it. "Are you okay?" She was so gorgeous in the light of the fire. Her care made me want her even more, and I took her hand and moved it between my legs. "I'll be better if you keep doing what you're doing…" I said, and a smile crept over her lips as she went back to her work. She let herself go and concentrated on bringing my body to ultimate bliss over and over.
"Can I taste you?" she asked. "Yes…you can have anything you want…" She kissed a trail all the way down my stomach and spread my legs, moving her body between them and then licking her tongue up my center. "Gods, Xena…baby, I've missed you." I could tell by her moans that she felt the same way. She had tried being so gentle with me, afraid my body was still weak and the wound in my side still sore. I finally put my hands on her head and pushed her further into me, pushing my hips toward her mouth and spreading my legs even further to bring all of her in that I could. I wanted her badly.
I felt her fingers go inside me, and she let out a long groan. "Gabrielle…you feel so good…" I looked and she was looking directly at me, all the while she fucked me. I knew then I wanted her mouth on mine, so I reached for her and she moved alongside me. "What is it, baby?" She never removed her fingers, but she stopped moving. I was immensely enjoying the feeling of her being inside me while she sucked my clit, but I simply needed her mouth on mine, and for her body to be as close to mine as possible. "Stay up here with me…make me come, Xena."
She was a perfect lover. She always knew exactly what I wanted and needed. She put her left arm under my neck and leaned down, kissing me very slowly, pulling her tongue back and tracing delicately over my lips. She began moving inside me again, and everything was perfect in our world. I let her take total control of my body and emotions, and simply relished being loved by my Warrior Princess. I moved my hips against her thrusts as they became harder. Sucking in her tongue in long strokes, our groans became mingled inside each other's mouths. Then she started talking to me, whispering in my ear.
"Are you ready to come for me, baby?"
"Mmmmm…yes…." I was finding it harder to concentrate coherently the closer I came to exploding against her hand.
"I've missed you, Gabrielle. Your scent, touching you, feeling your perfect cunt in my hand…"
I felt her insert another finger, and move her hand so that she could touch my clit. "You're ready…I can feel you tightening down…"
As I said, she was a perfect lover, and knew how to bring me over in a matter of seconds. I started climbing, and I had to look into her eyes. I placed my hands on each side of her beautiful face, and she knew what I needed. "That's it….come on…come for me…" she whispered, only inches away from my mouth, all the while looking directly into my eyes. She was breathing nearly as hard as I was, and when I started to come, I captured her mouth with mine, and from there on out was nothing but erotic eruptions from my core, and I sucked and bit at her mouth, and then her neck until there was a huge hickey near her collarbone. She thrust her body again me the whole time I came, and I knew she was very close just from the anticipation of me coming for her.
She draped her body over me, almost seeming to cover me in protection. There was such a vulnerability we both felt while we made love this time. She was trying to take care of me and I was trying to show her how much I had to have her. It was so beautiful, the entire scene. She started pulling her fingers out of me, but I stopped her. "Not yet. I need to feel you inside me."
It was quite a memorable night.
Our next few days' travel to Athens seemed to be our best therapy, or mine anyway. With each tragedy, our love for one another only grew stronger. We were able to make love with freedom, and I couldn't seem to get enough of her body. We played along the way, found laughter once again, and our bond was reinforced more strongly than ever before. While I would never forget the tragedy that found me in the North African desert, I knew there was nothing I could do to change it. I could only learn from the error and move on.
Xena led me to believe that maybe there would be something waiting for us in Athens. Of course, she would only give me tiny hints and none that really gave me any clue, but it was very exciting for me. Whenever she planned anything, it always caught me by surprise, but also amazed me that she could be secretive and still do wonderful things, just for me. She let me know in so many ways that her love for me was true and lasting. She was all I really needed in this world.
I was starved when we reached Athens. It was after our lunchtime, but we intentionally waited on eating so that we could have a choice of something besides wild game or fish. However, when we got into town, Xena told me she had some things to take care of, and showed me where we would be staying. She wanted to know if I would be okay by myself for a few hours, and that was when I knew she was really up to something. She gave me plenty of dinars to keep me occupied, and the first stop I would make was locating some food.
The city was amazing…I loved seeing all the people going in every direction. I made my way to the marketplace, which was always filled with so many interesting things. I couldn't help but wonder where Xena was, and couldn't wait to see her.
I was sitting in the middle of our bed, unrolling a new scroll when she arrived. It was just about the time I expected her, and she had a very pleased look on her face. She started removing her weapons, and I asked her, "How was your afternoon?" Of course, she gave me no information. "Fine. How was your afternoon?" she asked, as she climbed onto the bed with me, circling me with her body as she lay down behind me and propped herself up on her arm. "It was great. I found some places I'd like us to go back to tomorrow, if you think you can stand my company an entire day." She said, "Oh…I guess I could manage one afternoon…if you make it worth my while."
"Are you ready for dinner yet, my little bard? I forgot about eating lunch, and I'm starved." She said that as she nuzzled her nose in my neck, sending chills down my body.
"I thought you'd never ask." I turned my head to meet her mouth with a kiss, and I could have taken her right then and there.
We went down the stairs and sat down to our first tavern cooked meal in days. It was so delicious, and I think I talked too much. I wanted to tell her about all the things I saw in the marketplace, and where I wanted us to go tomorrow. I tried not asking any details about what she had been up to, because I knew it wouldn't do any good. She was great at keeping secrets. But I couldn't resist trying.
"So, what did you do, Xena?"
She hesitated, and finally leaned in and told me, "Don't make any plans for tomorrow night."
She wouldn't divulge any further information, so I just enjoyed looking at my beautiful lover as we shared the dessert that had just arrived. She was the true dessert. Sweet divinity. We were both ready for a nice night inside. We had traveled several days since leaving Virgil. It was Unplugged Harps Night at the inn, and we quietly rocked on to the sounds of strings for a while after dinner.
We slept late the next morning and had our breakfast delivered upstairs. I sat in the bath, enjoying the comforts of our room. Xena came over and fed me some fresh fruit, but first rubbed it on my lips and then kissed the sweet juice away before she let me eat from her hand. "Good?" she asked, knowing she was making me horny. "Yeah, but you might think about stopping if you don't want to stay in bed with me all day." She reminded me I'd need all my energy for tonight. I was ready and waiting.
She was perfect company as we strolled all over the city, letting me shop as long as I wanted and seeming to enjoy our time together. We stopped and ate more than once, enjoying the different foods and sites. The sky was beautifully clear and it was a perfect day.
We were waiting to strike a deal with one of the shop owners, and I turned to her and thanked her for bringing me to Athens. I told her I couldn't have made it through these past couple of weeks without her.
She looked down and smiled. "I wouldn't have it any other way." She changed the tone of our conversation and told me as far as today was concerned, I could pick all the places we went. But tonight it would be her choice.
I tried guessing where she was taking me tonight. Of course she wouldn't even give me a hint. She remained her stoic self and just raised her eyebrow with every idea I had. "Public baths?" "No." "The Puppet Theatre?" "No." "The Biggest Whorehouse in Athens?" "Gabrielle, I'm not telling you!"
I knew that, but it was fun just watching her reaction.
Our afternoon was drawing to a close, and I saw some street dancers. I asked Xena if we could sit and watch for a moment, so we sat on a bench and enjoyed the entertainment. The music stopped for a bit, and she leaned over and whispered in my ear," It's my time now, my little bard. Are you ready for your surprise?"
Finally, the revelation of my surprise. I had waited patiently, but inside I was dying to know what she had planned. We stood up and she took my hand. "Come on, Gabrielle. We need to go back to our room to get ready."
She told me to go ahead with my bath and that she would be back in a bit. She had to make sure everything was ready. What had she planned? My heart began racing just thinking of the possibilities. I dried off and got dressed, and started looking through some of my new purchases from today. It had been such a great day. I heard the key turning in the door and there she stood, the love of my life. "What?" she asked, grinning a wicked grin. "Oh, nothing," I said casually. Of course, it was killing me not knowing where she was taking me.
Xena began undressing for her bath. As she removed her weapons and sat down to take off her boots, I warmed her bath and waited for her to step in.
"What are you doing, Gabrielle?" She sat on the side of the bed with a look of amusement. "Oh, I thought you might need some help washing those hard to reach areas…" She raised her eyebrow, but couldn't fight off the smile that took over her lips.
She undressed and stepped into the tub. I couldn't resist asking again.
"Xena, you don't want me to touch you? She always loved for me to wash her back.
"Not this time. You'd better be saving your energy for later."
We hadn't made love the past couple of nights, or mornings, and watching her bathe was making my hands tingle with the need to touch her. She obviously had something prepared for us since she wouldn't let me touch her. She certainly was in a hurry. Where could she be taking me? We already had this fantastic room with all the luxuries we could ask for.
"Do I need to take anything with me?"
"Nope…all you need to take is your gorgeous self." She quickly dressed and put on her weapons. Holding out her hand to me, she asked, "Are you ready to go?"
"Very ready."
She held my hand the entire way down the stairs and into the street. Her long strides were making my shorter ones work hard to stay up with hers. There was so much activity on the city streets after dark. People were everywhere. Xena never stopped walking until we arrived…at our destination. "Xena…I was just kidding when I suggested you might be bringing me here."
She got a big kick out of the look of fear on my face. This was a whorehouse, for gods' sake. "It was already in my plans," she said, chuckling all the way to the front door.
A large-breasted redheaded lady was the first person I saw when we stepped inside. She referred to me as Xena's "friend" when she welcomed us. There were several of her "employees" all around the huge room. There were two upper levels and a stairway full of people. I had never been to a place where this was considered a trade. I wasn't used to seeing such open sexual behavior, and tried not to stare despite my urge to look.
Xena had never let go of my hand, for which I was very glad. "Xena, what exactly do you have planned for me?" Gods, surely she hadn't hired someone to watch us, or worse yet, participate. Varia was a completely different story.
Sensing my nervousness, she sweetly lowered her head and kissed me. "Trust me, my love." How could I resist that?
We began climbing the stairs, and my legs felt heavy with every step. I guess I was a little more nervous than I realized. Xena stopped for a moment and picked me up in her arms. She was so strong and had me off the ground before I realized what she had done. "You're riding the rest of the way. Cover your eyes."
I was embarrassed; because I had no idea what room she was taking me to, and just who would be there.
She asked me to cover my eyes again, and even used the "P" word.
"Give me a kiss first." Being this close to her made me weak inside. Our mouths were only inches apart, as well as our eyes. Her beauty always put me into somewhat of a trance. Gently, she kissed my lips, reassuring me the whole time to trust her and to know she always took good care of me.
I covered my eyes, and we began making our along the stairs. I felt her take a right and then another right. She stopped and I heard her trying to get the key from wherever she had hid it. "Keep them covered Gabrielle," she said, commanding me with her authority. Then so seriously she growled, "No peeking."
She bumped the door open with her hip, and my feet helped push it open the rest of the way. She said, "I'm going to let you down now…but keep your eyes covered."
She sat me down on a very soft surface. I sat down, because she still hadn't told me I could uncover my eyes. I had no idea what to expect, but it was very quiet in the room.
"Are you ready for your surprise, my bard?" she finally asked.
"I'm more than ready."
"Okay, you can uncover your eyes."
Gabrielle's Scroll (Conclusion)
Xena's Scroll
The Xena and Gabrielle XXX Scrolls
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