Shackles of Destiny
Xander Harris was having a bad day. It had started way too early, and didn't
seem to want to end. At 4 am his alarm had gone off, by 4:30 am Anya had left
him. She said he obviously didn't appreciate her and she couldn't marry a man
that didn't appreciate her talent.
Anya had been playing the stock market, her love of money had made them rich.
His bank balance was an astronomical amount, the likes of which he never thought
he would see in his life time, and yet he still insisted that he keep his job.
She had taken that as a sign that he didn't appreciate everything she did for
him, so she had packed what little she had at his apartment and left.
He had gotten to work late and received a lecture from the foreman, smashed his
hand with a hammer then miss-cut several 2x4 's before realizing his mistake.
All of that before lunch. At lunch he decided to call it a day and head home,
when he pulled out of the parking lot and onto the road, his tire blew out. No
spare, of course. Had to call a tow truck, cell phone was dead. He had to walk
to a pay phone.
Finally, finally he got home. No electricity. He knew the bill had been paid so
he called the power company. 'Yes indeed, Mr. Harris a mistake has been made.'
Then the part he liked best. 'Unfortunately, it can't be turned back on until
tomorrow.' Xander wished he could say this was an unusual day but lately, well
ever since Buffy had come out of her coma, his days had been getting worse and
worse. He felt like something was coming, waiting to happen.... This was worse
than before the fight with Glory. He knew in his bones his life was about to
change.
Time for a Scooby meeting and being ignored again, so he headed out the door,
wondering what else could possibly happen in this very long awful day.
Chapter One
Xander looked around again, and groaned. 'Yep, still here.' He closed his eyes
and leaned back against the marble wall. One second he had been walking through
the magic shop towards the danger room, the next second he was here. where ever
here was. A temple of some sort. No windows, no door, torches were scattered
about the room providing the only light. So far he hadn't seen anyone.
The silence was almost more than he could stand. His heart beat lulled him to
sleep once more.
Xander woke to the feeling of a caress against his cheek. Startled he looked
around, but saw no one. It was unusual for him to sleep through someone walking
close to him. Growing up in his house you had to learn to rest while not quite
asleep. If there was no one there and there were no windows, where did the
feeling come from? 'Weird'
The lower half of his body was going numb, 'Gods how long have I been here?' and
his back was sore. Sleeping on marble was a bitch. He stood and began pacing,
ten steps, turn, ten steps, turn. Xander could feel his heart beating too fast
and his vision changing. His hyena was getting upset, feeling caged. It was
always harder to control when it felt directly threatened, and being put in a
cage felt like a threat.
If there was ever a time that he was thankful for Ethan Rayne’s meddling magic
it was when he had to rely on the iron will of the soldier to control the hyena.
Of course he hated them both in the middle of a fight because the two had
conflicting desires in battle. The hyena wanted blood and gore, while the
soldier just wanted it to be quick, kill and move on. It made him a bumbling
idiot, which he hated because before the hyena incident he was actually a pretty
good fighter. After the possession he was afraid of being too aggressive for
fear of what the hyena might get him to do or say.
When he heard a growl echo around the chamber he realized just how upset he was
getting. He pulled the soldier forward just enough to dominate the canine. After
a few minutes of the inner battle, Xander's head began to hurt. He didn't know
if the soldier was going to win this one.
He had to get his mind off the confining space. 'Think Xan... think about
something else.' Just then he spotted the scroll. It was laying on the floor
just beside where he had taken his nap. 'Well that wasn't there before.'
He bent over and picked up the mystery scroll, then walked over to the torch to
get a better look. The language was familiar, not Latin, which he knew, but
something similar. The more he studied the test the more words he could
translate, until he could make out the majority of the scroll.
He settled on the floor and began to read and learn.
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Part Two
Scroll of the Chosen
The end times have been foretold. When the moon shines red next to the white of
the sun, four warriors shall gather. In the name of the Light, they shall fight.
Their Souls shall be their strength, the strength of their will shall be their
weapons. Let their mates be their guide, teacher, companion, and partner in the
fight.
In balance, as ever there must be, four warriors of the Dark must be called.
They fight with their hatred, the strength of the demons at their side.
As this Realm is ruled by chaos, it too shall have its warrior. One man who
knows no rest. Equal parts shadow and light. He shall taste heaven and be
rejected, hell shall not contain him.
When he has chosen, the battle shall consume them all.
Half way through the text Xander sat back. This was different than the other
prophecies he had read. It felt more personal, and the chaos warrior sounded
like Angel. There were no, if this, clauses is this scroll. It told of what
would be, not what could be.
He glanced down at the rest of the text and found that it was mostly directed at
the warriors of the Light. One warrior in particular was described. 'And one
shall be at home with the dark and bring light to the shadows.' The soldier, or
private Harris, as Willow liked to call him, was still there in the fore of
Xander's mind, like someone reading over his shoulder, but this time Xander
didn't mind. The soldier's instincts where telling him that this portion of the
scroll was directed at Xander, and the clenching of Xander’s stomach was a
definite sign that the ominous feeling was agreed upon by all in his head.
Xander was really beginning to get frightened but he read on.
One shall be at home with the darkness and bring light to the shadows. He will
know the ways of the dark and be tempted, but stay true. He will be a protector
of Innocence, a White Knight of the soul.
When he is called, three become one, predator and prey become Protector. The
mate shall walk in darkness and be embraced be the light. He shall be enfeebled
but made whole by the Light.
Xander slammed his head into the wall behind him. 'He? Oh fuck, Spike' He began
to laugh to keep from crying. 'Walk in darkness.. enfeebled but made whole'
"Oh fuck.... No, please no!" Now he was getting pissed. He stood and shouted
out.
"Ok, enough is enough, You... whoever you are. This is not going to happen. Me
and Spike! No way. He hates me, if I went to him with a story like this he would
laugh his ass off." Xander took a deep breath, he needed to calm down, then
thought better of it. The soldier was still with him, like a back seat driver,
and he could feel the hyena ready to pounce. He brought them both forward and
gave a monstrous roar.
"Either face me or release me. I'm no fucking warrior, you've got the wrong guy.
I'm the goddamn Zeppo. Let me go you bastards."
The fear/rage from the hyena was blending with the fury of the soldier. Neither
liked being a prisoner of war. Xander was starting to agree with them. His anger
was fueled by the thought of having to go to Spike with a story like this and by
the thought that maybe what the scroll said was true. His fear/rage was that all
of humanity might one day depend on him, whose mind was so splintered it was
mentioned in ancient scrolls.
Suddenly it all clicked, the lines between hyena, soldier, and soul blended to
the point that he couldn't tell whose fear/rage was whose. The words of the
prophecy came back to him. 'three become one'
His anger drained from him and he was left with only fear. For the first time in
years he was alone in his head. He had never noticed before how comforting it
was to never truly be alone. The silence in his mind was eerie and frightening.
"Please, someone answer me, please." He trailed off and dropped to his knees.
He was no longer alone. No warning, no flash of light, just not there on second,
there the next.
"Alexander, be at ease," the female spoke. She was petite, blond and slightly
glowy.
"Who are you?" he couldn't help but ask.
She laughed, to Xander it sounded like musical bells.
"Just a messenger, Alexander. I'm here to answer your questions." She cocked her
head to the side and looked at him with a smile.
"You might want to get comfortable, this might take a while. Don’t worry time
stands still while you are here, in the Temple of the Chosen."
"Temple of the Chosen? Wait I can't be chosen. Me? I'm just a regular guy. No
magic, I'm no slayer. Not a vamp with a soul." He said the last with a barely
contained sneer. Angel had hurt his pack, that was nearly unforgivable.
"Alexander.."
"Besides," he interrupted, "if that scroll is about me then that would make who
my mate? Spike, I don't think so. How does a Warrior for the Light end up with a
vamp for a mate?"
The messenger lady giggled and ran a hand through her hair in an almost nervous
gesture. The gleaming gold of her bracelets caught the torch light and held
Xander’s attention, there seemed to be etchings on them. It was like he should
know what they meant. He was pulled out of his thoughts by her musical voice
again.
"Alexander, please, so many questions. Please just listen and maybe I can
explain."
Xander sat back against the wall, fingering the scroll idly. "OK, I'm comfy,
shoot."
As she began to speak Xander could tell the words were coming through her, not
from her. Her voice took on a tone and cadence he had never heard before but
recognized on some primal level. 'The voice of the Powers' Her title of
Messenger took on new meaning and be began to listen.
In the beginning before the birth of this realm, there were three opposing
forces.
Chaos, a force that had no rules and followed no command. It wanted for nothing,
not power, not greed, and not for love. Only to exist and do as it pleased.
The Light, a force that wanted harmony, to end the chaos in its domain, with
love and compassion. The Light brought forth the Powers of Light . Four Immortal
beings to bring order to the four directions of it domain.
The Darkness, it wanted the same thing as the Light, an end to the chaos, but it
was greedy it wanted power over all, not just its own domain. Instead of love
and compassion, the dark wanted to consume and conquer every thing in its path.
Not to be out done be the Light, it too brought forth four beings. The Powers of
the Dark.
The battle was horrifying, it could've been endless, but in their fight for
dominance they both forgot one very important thing. Chaos. Chaos, loves war,
loves confusion and is the master of both. Chaos intervened. The Powers of both
sides did not want interference in their fight. They realized that, neither
would win in that realm. The three sides were too evenly matched. together they
created this Realm.
Each one tried to gain advantage over the other. They were attempting to create
a world where Chaos would not interfere, but by trying to warp the others
creations they let Chaos enter. Not as strong as in their Realm, at first they
did not even realize what they had done. When they did it was too late to take
it back, they had built rules to govern this world that they themselves must
follow. Their creations must chose. Because of Chaos interfering no creature was
purely of the Light or purely of the Dark. Chaos was gaining a strangle hold on
this Realm just like before, so they built in more rules. The very fabric of
this world was created to chose one side or the other, its inhabitants will
strive to be as their maker designed them.
The new rules that the Powers built in told of a battle to be fought here on
this plain by the best of each side. The warriors were chosen a millennia ago,
and would be called in the fullness of time.
The Messenger paused, she seemed to shake herself and gave a small smile.
"So you see Alexander, you were chosen before your world even existed. Your
entire life, up to this point, has been lived with the sole purpose of getting
you here. Now that you have been called your training shall begin, and you must
train. You are the first to be called be the Light. You will guide, lead and
protect the others in the fight."
"But.."
"No Alexander. This will be. It has been written. This is what the Powers will.
You cannot change that. We don't know when the battle will be fought, it could
be another thousand years. You and your mate must be ready." Xander sighed in
near defeat. How could he explain his human emotions to on so unconcerned with
them? "OK Miss Messenger, I've listened to you now you can listen to me." He
took a deep breath and tried to make sense of his feelings.
"The first time I met Spike, I already had the hyena. I was given to him by a
stronger alpha male as a gift. So I have always had to fight this compulsion,
that.. I belong to him. Back then I was fighting him, he was killing my friends.
Then later he came back and the soldier respected him for the fighter that he
was. I.... yes, he's gorgeous, and I have always been attracted to him. But it's
wrong. He is a demon, I have always had to be on my guard around him, *because*
I like him so much. Spike is the Big Bad, he has nothing but contempt for me.
I'm the bumbling moron to him." Xander took a deep breath and stared at the
floor.
When he spoke again his voice was much softer.
" If I went to him with a story like this he would laugh his ass off. No way
would he take me seriously."
She spoke reverently after a few moments of silence.
"Alexander, this is something that you must do on your own. We cannot help you
with this." She spoke to him as she would a spooked child. "You know in your
soul, that William is a human possessed by a demon. How is that any different
than you? Are you not possessed by two of them. Your love will bring light to
his shadows. Through you, through your love, he will again be able to walk in
the Light. What enfeebles him, will be gone. He will be your perfect mate."
She Beckoned him forward.
"Come Alexander."
He stood and walked towards her an trembling legs.
"Alexander, White Knight of the Powers, Protector of Innocence, I call you
forward. I bestow upon you the Shield of Light."
She placed one delicate hand around his left wrist, when she removed it a black
shackle was left behind.
"Alexander, White Knight of the Powers, Protector of Innocence, I call you
forward. I bestow upon you the Lance of Power."
Her other hand went around his right wrist and left a black shackle almost
identical to the first.
"Your weapons in the coming battle. Thus it has been written, thus it shall be."
The room glowed a bright gold for an instant When the light reached it's peak
Xander felt as if his mind was being torn apart, the hyena and the soldier cried
out in pain. The next instant he was put back together whole with all the
memories and thoughts of both beings merged as one into his soul. He finally
understood himself. There was just him, Alexander. And for once the name didn't
make him cringe or flinch, it felt right.
He glanced down at the bands around his wrists, like metal, but not. Etched on
the left was a faintly glowing shields on the right a glowing lance, surrounding
each were runes and writing. The more he stared and tried to read them the more
they seemed to move and change.
"Wha.."
"Alexander, be at ease. They are the Shackles of Destiny. Your mate will receive
his when you accept each other. You must embrace him as your true mate. When he
accepts his destiny he will receive the red Shackle of the Heart marking him as
a mate of a Warrior, and the black Shackle of the Protector to mark him as
yours."
Xander’s mind was reeling trying to adjust to all that had just happened. He was
some mystic warrior and Spike was his mate. Then something she said hit him.
"OK let me get this straight. Spike will be able to walk around during the day?!
And his chip will be gone?"
"Alexander, you worry about nothing. Yes, he will walk in the day and yes, he
will be whole. He will be able to feed again, but think on this. You are the
Protector of the Innocent, not all of mankind is innocent."
He thought about that for a while, it did make sense. Spike could feed off of
the criminal element in Sunnydale. He was so used to dealing with much worse
evil that he usually forgot about the regular bad guys.
"OK, what about this whole, might be a thousand years 'til the fight thing? I
won't be around in a thousand years. Spike maybe, but me.."
Her bell like laughter filled the room again. "Alexander, you are no longer
strictly human. You are like me. You are... other... more. A slightly higher
being." she paused in her explanation.
"Hmm, how is this... If you get stabbed, you will heal. If you are shot, you
will heal. If someone chops your head off, you pick it up put it back on and *
you will heal*" she stressed the last part, "the same for your mate. You and
William will be alive for the fight. During the fight you can be killed but not
before."
"As a higher being you are now stronger, faster and smarter than you where
before. And do not dismiss your demons so quickly they have given you many
advantages. You will need all of them to prepare for the end battle."
She paused to look at him deeply again.
"Alexander, you need to believe in yourself and what I'm telling you. Your power
is in your strength of will."
There was a tinkling sound like many bells ringing at once.
"Alexander it is time for you to go. I can answer no more questions for now.
Know that I am always here. The Temple of the Chosen is always open to you, but
you must train your mind to reach this plain. I must go. Be at ease."
As her voice faded, so did the room around him, and Xander found himself back in
the magic shop, staring right into the bluest eyes he had ever seen.
Chapter Four
Something was up with the whelp. Spike was sitting on the stairs that led to the
balcony of the magic shop when he had sensed the boy approach the store. As soon
as Xander walked in Spike could feel whatever drew demons to the boy had grown
stronger. As Xander threw himself into a chair opposite the blond witch Spike
had time to stare with out being noticed. He thought Xander looked more
exhausted then usual.
The strange part was when Xander had momentarily disappeared and no one seemed
to notice. Well sure it was just for one moment, not even a second but Xander
had simply flickered out and back. Spike was sure it was not just his eyes as
the pull of the boy and his smell where absent also.
Then Xan was back and staring directly into his eyes. It was Xander; Spike was
sure of that. He would know that smell anywhere but now he was different. Spike
could see the changes right away. Maybe because he was a vamp or maybe because
he was the only one paying attention. The physical changes were stunning.
Xander's chocolate eyes, that Spike so loved to stare into, were lighter now,
almost yellow and slightly reflective like there was a mirror behind them. They
were filled with an emotion Spike had never seen in them before. He considered
himself a closet connoisseur of Xander expressions. He knew most all of them,
but not this one.
Xander's entire body seemed to have gained bulk, like he had gained an entire
new layer of muscle. He just seemed... broader. He was standing up, straight up.
Xander rarely did that. In fact, it was almost as if he were standing at
attention allowing Spike to inspect him. Xander preferred to slouch especially
if he felt someone staring.
All in all Spike had to admit whatever had been done to his boy looked good on
him. In fact, his jeans where growing tighter. He pulled his duster closer
around himself to hide his reaction.When he heard Xander shuffle his feet he
glanced back to Xander's face. He knew that look, it was nervousness and mild
confusion. Then Xander did something that almost made him gasp out loud. Xander
was sniffing the air, he leaned in towards Spike just a little and sniffed
again. Xander cocked his head to the side as if trying to place the smell. Spike
saw the boy's eyes dilate and a grin slowly stretch across his face as he
recognized the scent of Spike's arousal. Then a smell hit Spike in the face, a
wall of pure lust so thick he felt he might choke from it.
'What the fuck has been done to him?' Spike thought. Xander wanted him and was
letting him know it. Well it wasn't like Spike hadn't known that the boy wanted
him before, but never had he shown it. Always before Xander would start babbling
and leave the room quickly.
Spike made a small move toward Xander, but as he stood he gained the attention
of the red headed witch.
"Spike leave Xander alone. Buffy needs to spar with him."
Neither man jumped, but the spell had definitely been broken. Xander ran a hand
through his hair, a gesture that Spike was very familiar with. He loved watching
Xander do that, it mussed up his hair so nicely.
This time his attention was drawn to the young man's wrists. These were new.
They hadn't been there a second ago. Xander caught him staring so he looked
away. The sound of Xander's voice startled him.
"Buffy," Xander called out, "You're going to have to fight with the G-man. I've
got some stuff to take care of."
Out of the corner of his eye Spike could see Giles shudder at the thought of
sparring with his slayer, but sigh in resignation.
Xander was staring at him. Spike was shaken. What the hell was wrong with him?
He was in love with Buffy right? Right?
Xander cocked one eyebrow up at him and inclined his head towards the door.
'Nope, it ends here. Don't know what he's playin' at but....'
"Right, well. I think I'll walk the whelp home. He seems to attract trouble. I
should find a nice spot of violence tonight after all."
'Oh great now I'm babbling. And what happened to all that resolve?'
'Shit... Fuck....'
Before they could make it to the door, Willow bounced over between them.
"Spike, if you want to fight something why don't you go spar with Buffy," she
said as she pushed him towards the back room away from Xander.
Spike stopped and thought about it. Of course, what the hell had he been
thinking? He might not be able to hit her but she would have her hands all over
him. Yeah that sounded good. The whelp was fun to bait but he couldn't compare
to Buffy.
As he turned away from Willow he saw a strange look cross Xander's face but just
as quickly as it appeared it was gone.
Spike was confused. He had wanted to go with Xander, but why? 'Oh well doesn't
matter. I've got me a Slayer waiting.'
"Sorry whelp another time." He threw over his shoulder as he swaggered away.
Xander left the shop quickly, his mind in shock. How could he have forgotten?
Spike was still gah-gah over the Buffster. It was the pheromones that did it. He
knew that Spike wanted him but he was in love with Buffy.
Willow trying to be all protective of him felt good. He had missed that. He
missed his friendship with her. Now that she was in college and had Tara their
friendship had drifted to mostly scoobie stuff. Yeah, ok. Anya was alot of that.
Maybe now that Anya was gone he would have more time for friends.
He looked down at his still tingling wrist. On the other hand, maybe not.
Xander was lost deep in thought. not paying attention to the street around him.
Anyone walking down a Sunnydale street at night knew better, as a Slayerette it
should've been an inherent quality. Distraction led to death, or undeath.
Xander's only excuse for not seeing the threat surrounding him was that he was
distracted by blue eyes. While he might not have been paying active attention
his new instincts were very aware. He knew as soon as the pack of vampires
stepped onto the sidewalk behind him.
In the blink of an eye they had fanned out around him. He moved to pull the
stake out of his pocket before remembering that he had put it down on the table
back at the magic shop. Xander quickly assessed the situation.
Four Vamps, minions. Stupid. Probably run if their food put up a fight.
As the first vamp closed in from behind, Xander spun around and cleanly ripped
its head off. Before the dust could fall he had grabbed the second vampire by
the throat. This one had more warning and began to struggle.
Xander ground out between clenched teeth, "Run" and the other two did. The
struggling vampire's attempt was futile. He knew it the second before Xander
twisted and pulled his head. It took another second for Xander to finish ripping
his head off but by then the vampire was already dead.
Xander stepped back as the dust settled around him. 'Woo-hoo! Go soldier!'
Since the joining, he no longer had separate memories from the soldier and the
hyena. However, apparently he did have their instincts. Merged with his own.
This was the first fight in years where there was no inner conflict, just a need
for action and a decisive plan.
The rest of the walk home was uneventful but he was still jazzed from the fight.
He couldn't veg out in front of the t.v. with no power, so he called Cordy in
LA. Since she had become vision-girl they both made an effort to put their
differences behind them and discovered that when they could talk to no one else
in their lives they could talk to each other.
-----------------------------------------
"Spike, get the hell off me." Buffy gritted her teeth again.
Spike had managed to grab her on his way down and reversed their positions so
that he was laying on top of her. Pressed into her from hip to shoulder, and
nuzzling her neck.
"No, m' comfy," he said as he wiggled a little more then settled in.
Buffy relaxed completely. 'Not going to give him the pleasure of a struggle. At
least he isn't hard.... Wait why doesn't he have a hard-on?' She began, what she
hoped felt like a struggle, bucking her hips against him. 'Oh, yeah a little
reaction. I've still got it.' Of course she couldn't let him know that she
wanted that reaction.
"Spike," she said warningly "get off me."
Spike raised his head. He had been envisioning warm brown eyes, and to see those
cold blue orbs gazing up at him was like a cold shower. He quickly lost his
erection. He could tell by the narrowing of her eyes that she noticed. What the
hell was wrong with him? Unquestioningly he loved Buffy, loved everything about
her. Her smell, he inhaled deeply. Her touch, he wiggled his ass. Her beauty,
her strength, he could go on. What the hell was missing then? Why was he getting
excited if he thought about soft brown eyes, wavy brown hair, and lean hard
muscles. 'Oh yeah!' He couldn't help the involuntary shudder that ran through
him when she bucked up against his denim clad erection. His eyes closed sinking
himself into the fantasy.
"Spike, that is it." Buffy rolled them over with on great heave, then stood
quickly. Her voice screeched along his nerves. God! His demon hated her. He had
to fight to keep his game face from showing. Why the hell hadn't he killed her
yet? Oh yeah... chip. And well... the whole love thing.
His growl turned into a groan when she put one small foot in the middle of his
stomach and stepped on him, as she headed to the door. His gameface did come out
when he heard her words.
"Yep. Still beneath me."
"Slayer, you really are a bitch."
"Yeah, well isn't that why you love me? I mean come on..... What's up with that?
I thought you had a thing for Xander and then suddenly your all over me."
"Xander! That moron. What makes you think I've got a thing for him?" he sat up.
Buffy walked back over and sat beside him.
"Well, it could be the way you're over protective of him in a fight. It could be
the way you growl at Anya all the time. But what it is... is the way you look at
him." Buffy took a deep breath and went on. "Look. I don't know why you have a
thing for me. Maybe it is left over from Willow's spell. I don't know, but
Xan.... I know he thinks the rest of us ignore and underestimate him. It's
because we don't want him to get hurt. He's a great guy. If you have feelings
for him don't hide behind this crazy attraction for me. It will never work out
between us. When Xander looks at you sometimes...." She got to her feet. "I've
said too much, just get over me. Move on." Buffy walked out of the danger room
without looking back to see the stunned expression on Spike's face.
------------------------------
Xander hung up the phone. Well at least she hadn't laughed at him too much. Of
course he hadn't told her about Spike. He hadn't told her about his suspicions
about Angel either. He figured if Angel was called it was his decision to tell
people, but until then Xander would keep his mouth shut.
Xander laid back on the bed, with no electricity it was unusually quiet in his
apartment. As he drifted in and out of sleep he thought about his day.
Anya had left him. Now that he was chosen, not to mention this confusing mess
with Spike, he was glad she was gone.
Something was up with Willow. Now that he had been called... changed.... now
that he was 'other'.... 'Hmm, have to think about that.' He could feel her
power. She radiated it, raw almost wild power. In the magic shop he had felt her
using it. At the time he hadn't known what it was he was sensing. Right before
she had stepped between him and Spike her power had flared up. Only for an
instant but it had.
He would have to watch the people around him now. He hadn't seen Buffy and
hadn't paid attention to Giles but Tara radiated as much as Willow only hers
seemed calmer, more in control.
He couldn't sleep. His mind kept flashing back to Spike and the smell of his
arousal. Why had he never known before that Spike wanted him? Maybe it was that
he tried his best to not let Spike know about his own feelings.
'Arrgh, go to sleep Xan.' His hand strayed down to his hardened length. 'Ok just
take care of this first.' He shimmed out of his sweat pants and laid back again.
Xander ran his right hand down his chest lightly, circled his nipple then
pinched and twisted it savagely. Pre-cum spurted onto his belly as he groaned
out his pleasure. His left hand wandered down to the base of his shaft and
started fondling the soft sac beneath. Rubbing and massaging the small stretch
of skin behind it. Back and forth, never daring to touch the hole below. Not
quite sure he was ready for that .
Xander ran his fingers through his pre-cum then grasped his erection pumping and
gripping rhythmically. His thumb rubbed the head and his nail would scratch the
slit just enough to send delicious shivers down his spine. He imagined it was
Spike holding him and caressing him as he speed up. His balls started tighting
and he knew he was close. He pumped harder, breaking a sweat. He groaned and
thought of Spike again. Dancing blue eyes sparkled up at him. He could
practically smell the blond man's arousal. When he came he screamed out Spike's
name.
It was one of the most intense orgasms he had ever had. Only the second time he
had masturbated while thinking of the blond vampire. With a sigh he headed for
the shower. A cold shower because 'Hello, no electricity!'
Xander took the next day off work. He stayed in bed late thinking about what the
messenger had said. If this being chosen thing really had made him smarter maybe
he should go to college. Contrary to popular opinion he had wanted to go. He
just didn't have the money. His parents thought he was getting uppity when he
had mentioned it to them.
Now because of Anya, he could afford to go. He thought it was a little ironic
that he was contemplating quitting his job the day after she had left him. Funny
how yesterday he wouldn't even think about it. Yesterday his job had been too
important to him. A way to show that he was more than his father. Yesterday a
lot of things had been different. Yesterday he had been different.
It was several hours and several phone calls later when Xander finally let
himself really think about last night. Think about what he had seen in Spike's
eyes, before Willow had interrupted them. Why had she been using her power in
the shop? Did she expect to have to separate him and Spike? What was it about
that use of power that bothered him? Well, he'd think about that later. Right
now he had a job to quit and some college paper work to fill out.
----------------------------------------
Buffy was leaving the administrators office after filling out paper work for
next semester. It didn't start for another month but she wanted to make sure the
classes weren't all full. She nodded to classmates absently as she thought about
all of the changes that had happened since she had done this last. Her mother
had died. She had fought a hell-god and won. After Glory died her relationship
with Dawn had changed. Dawn felt more like a sister now as opposed to an object
she had to protect. Buffy was happy they had worked out their differences if
only she could do the same with the rest of the Scooby gang.
Willow had gone through a drastic change when Tara had been kidnapped. They had
been drifting apart before but now it was like Willow was withdrawing from them.
She was obsessed with magic and Tara.
Buffy was so lost in thought, that she was not paying attention to where she was
walking until she bumped into a very hard very muscular male body.
"Oh, excuse me, I'm so sorry." She apologized before she really looked up.
"Xander, what are you doing here?" She exclaimed when she finally glanced up.
He laughed. "Buff, you ok? You looked pretty deep in thought there. And what I'm
doing here is the normal. You know. Getting classes, paying for classes. College
guy stuff." His grin started looking a bit strained. He really wanted this to be
a surprise. Well she did look surprised.
Buffy was stunned. Xander in college.
"Wow Xan, that's great. But I thought Willow said you didn't get accepted."
He looked confused for a moment.
"Um... no. I got in I just couldn't afford it before."
"And you can now?" She asked, eyebrows raised almost to her hair line.
"Well, yeah. You know Anya really was good with money." Xander grinned a little
wider.
"Yeah, she does like her money. So what does she think about you becoming
college guy? Wait. What do you mean was?"
Xander looked a little lost for a minute then he took a deep breath.
"Anya left me yesterday, because she said I didn't appreciate her." As he spoke
he ran his fingers through his hair and thought about getting a hair cut.
"Oh Xander. I'm so sorry. Why didn't you say anything last night?" 'So that's
why he left early last night' she thought. 'Poor Xander. But now maybe she could
convince a certain blond to...' Her eyes caught sight of Xander's new
accessories. Her slayer senses responded to them in a low level way. 'Huh,
that's weird.'
Xander was still talking but she couldn't draw her eyes away from his wrists.
Where had she seen those before? They looked so familiar.
"Xander," she interrupted as she made a grab for his wrist. "Where did you get
these? They're covered in magic?"
He trailed off, glad he didn't have to explain about Anya but at a loss to
explain his new destiny. It was Buffy after all and if he couldn't trust the
Slayer, who could he trust.
Xander was lost in thought for a few minutes in an internal debate. The debate
in and of itself was nothing new. Over the last few years he had debated with
himself quite often. What was new, was the dialogue was no longer confusing.
There was only one voice in his head now. The debate was not about whether he
should trust Buffy, but rather should he tell her now or wait until after he had
decided what he was going to do about Spike. Could he tell just half of what he
knew? He was admittedly a terrible liar. Buffy would be able to tell and would
eventually be able to get it out of him. On the other hand sparring with Buffy
would probably help his fighting technique and Giles could probably help him
figure out how to use the power in the Shackles.
More than that though Xander really wanted to keep this to himself just for a
little while. The debate didn't last long. He knew what he wanted.
"They um... they were a gift from Anya. She didn't want me to be unprotected.
They are um... supposed to help me fight." Xander stuttered over the lies but
held firm on his explanation.
"Ok Are you sure you can trust them?" Buffy looked skeptical. And really could
he blame her? "I mean vengeance demon and all that," she continued.
Xander started walking down the hall hoping to end the conversation soon. "Oh,
no. She gave them to me before. I just haven't worn them until now. So any
way... I have to be here," he showed her his paper work, "tomorrow. You want to
show me where that is."
"Changing the subject again Xander?" She asked.
He smiled down at her, without slowing his pace. "I just don't want to talk
about Anya. I am too excited about college."
He breathed a quiet sigh of relief when she let him change the subject.
The rest of the day went by in a pleasant haze for Xander. It had been a while
since he had hung out with Buffy when there was no big apocalyptic event on the
horizon. As a matter of fact he didn't think they had ever hung out together
just the two of them. Willow had always been there. At first because of her
crush on him, she didn't want him getting too close to Buffy. After that it was
just a habit. Go to see Buffy, call Willow first. That's weird, wonder why I
never noticed that before.
Too soon Buffy decided to call it a day an walked him to his car. He was
momentarily stunned by the change in topic.
"So, Xander. What do you think about this whole Spike thing?" She asked him,
trying not to sound too interested in the answer.
"Think about S-spike," he stuttered. "I-I don't think about Spike. Why would I
think about Spike?" Damn it! He knew he was blushing.
She was grinning from ear to ear. Xander really started to panic then.
"Un-huh. You don't think about Spike."
"What? I don't. Really."
"Xander if you don't think about Spike then why are you blushing?"
He could tell she was not going to give this up. He took a deep breath, held it
for a few seconds then exhaled loudly.
"Buffy, I'm not gay." He knew he sounded like a whiny child but couldn't help
it.
"I didn't say you were. But if you stomp your foot along with that pout, I might
believe you." She paused to take in his stricken look. "Xander, I didn't say you
were gay. I just asked what you thought about him. You are the one who jumped
from there to Larry-land."
Xander gaped.
She started laughing so hard at the expression on his face she nearly doubled
over. She reached out and placed her hand on his arm while trying to speak but a
surge of power through her hand knocked her back. She landed with a thud on the
ground. Laughter effectively cut off.
Buffy became very still as she studied her friend. Her eyes took in the changes
in him. How he stood straighter, looked slightly larger. He shifted under her
intense scrutiny. She stood slowly. When she spoke again she sounded like she
was trying not to spook him.
"Xander, I think you need to explain what just happened."
Xander was hurt, his best friend was laughing at him. His whole world narrowed
into just her face. He couldn't breath, black spots started forming in his
vision. She was laughing at him. The slayer was laughing. What the hell? Didn't
she know who he was? His hurt became anger. He was the White Knight. How dare
she laugh at him. When she reached out and touched his left wrist the Shield
reacted. He had no control over its reaction, but his anger did drain away. Now
she was demanding answers. He didn't think she would be put off this time.
Buffy thought he was going to cry. Xander's eyes grew wide. She could tell what
had happened had stunned him as much as her, but she could also tell he knew
something of what had happened.
"Xander, you know you can trust me. What ever it is."
Xander released a shaky breath.
"Look, Buffy. It's nothing bad. I promise and I wanted to tell you. I did
but...." He took a steadying breath. "Can we go back to my place to talk about
this?"
She knew he was uncomfortable so she readily agreed.
tbc...
