~Personal Journal of Captain Alexander L. Harris~
January 13, 2006
0924 hours
I've just found out what my new mission is. After spending two years in a
small jungle village in South America, commanding an elite group of Marines
to protect the villages from attacks from their enemies, I'm heading back to
civilization.
I'm not sure how I will like civilization. I've been all over the world as
a Marine, and found I *really* enjoyed the sounds of the night in the
jungle, the way I could look up and see the stars. . .and there is this one
girl here. . .
She loves to praise America.
I love for her to.
But there's more than just the fact that I'm going back to civilization. I'
m going back to Sunnydale, California. I have no idea how that's all going
to work out. Buffy Summers is still alive, though from what I understand
she is now Buffy Finn. Last I heard, she was expecting. . .that was about
four or five months ago, I think.
I haven't talked to any of them - including the girl I once considered my
best friend in the entire world. . .my Willow - I haven't talked to them in
six years, not since the big blowout at the end of their Freshmen year at UC
Sunnydale. We were screaming at each other, Willow admitted she was a
lesbian, I told them that I didn't think they needed me anymore, and Buffy
said to hell with all of us. She didn't need us.
That hurt. After everything we'd done for her, she didn't need us.
They said that I should join the Army, because that was all I could do.
That was all my life amounted to, doing grunt work. I decided, since they
thought that, that's what I would do, but I wasn't going to just do grunt
work. Oh, no, I was going to make a *nice* military career out of my life.
I already had some of the Commando experience, thanks to Ethan and
Halloween. . .I knew I could do this.
I went out after the fight, didn't say a word to anyone, and joined the
Marines. I figured if I was going to devote my life to fighting for the
country, I might as well join the biggest, baddest branch of the service.
Boot camp kicked my ass worse than any demon ever did.
But I survived. As I'd done everything, I survived.
I think the hardest part about boot camp was not having anyone to write to,
not having anyone write to me. The guys were great though - they knew that
I'd had a big blowout with my friends, and that was a big part of the reason
why I left. My best friend in the bunks, Johnson, he would send me letters.
He was funnier than I was. Together, we had the barracks rolling in the
floor.
I saw Graham Miller a couple of years later. We were both stationed in
South Carolina, and he was still talking to all of them. He caught me up on
everyone. Spike was still sulking around Sunnydale, whining because he had
no chip, Buffy and Riley were engaged, finally. Tara ended up breaking
Willow's heart and the redhead moved to LA.
Graham and I stay in touch - he's my link to my former life. I thank God
for him often, he never tells them that he knows where I am. . .they have no
clue. Buffy and the rest of them, they don't even really remember I exist
anymore. Only Willow gets misty eyed during Christmas, or whenever my name
comes up, or anytime she thinks about me. . .I've thought of writing her,
but what do I say? "Hey, Wills, sorry for leaving you, but I'm an officer
in the Marines now. I'm somebody important."
I heard from Graham a few months ago. Apparently, Cordelia's vision said
the Initiative was coming back, but they were going to be better. They were
going to help Buffy. However, the kicker was that Angel needed to be there
too. So his whole family - Willow included, apparently, her and Angel are
*involved* now - moved back home.
And now, I'll be joining them.
Cordelia was right. The Initiative is coming back to Sunnydale.
And I'm the Captain in charge of the troops there.~
~*~
"Harris!"
Captain Alexander Harris looked up from his laptop, stiffening
automatically. He stood and saluted his Major.
"At ease, Alex."
Alex threw him a smile and sat back down behind his desk. "Have a seat,
Jim." He waved to the seat in front of the desk. Major James Horton took a
seat in one of the chairs on the other side of the desk. Alex clicked 'save
' on his journal and pushed his laptop away, smiling at his friend. They'd
known each other for several years now, and Jim looked at Alex as almost a
prodigy of his. Every little trick, every little rope that Alex Harris
knew, Jim Horton had taught him.
Jim cleared his throat. "I'm here to brief you on the situation in
Sunnydale." He threw a folder down on Alex's desk, the word *Confidential*
stamped on the front.
Alex's eyebrow rose, and he grinned, always getting a kick out of things
that were *confidential*. He opened the envelope, a hiss escaping his
mouth. On the front page was a picture of Dr. Maggie Walsh, the leader of
the last Initiative. "She was a bitch," he grumbled.
Jim's eyebrow rose. "You knew Dr. Walsh?"
Alex looked up, knowing Jim didn't know anything about his past, just that
he was from a small town in California. It was apparent that the Major didn
't delve too deep in his personal files, or he would have known that the
young man was from the very town he was going back to. "Not personally, no.
But two of my best friends, at the time, were in her class." He flipped the
pages, finally finding a picture of Riley Finn as Commander of the elite
squadron of the Initiative. "That's Riley Finn. Teacher's Aide by day,
Commander by night. Also, one of my former best friend's current husband."
"But. . .he's married to the Slayer. . ." Horton said quietly.
"Buffy Summers. Probably the best Slayer that ever lived, could kick anyone
's ass, other than Angelus or William the Bloody," Alex rattled off, an
eyebrow cocked.
"Who?" Horton asked, shaking his head in confusion.
"Two really bad ass vampires."
"So you know about the demons, about what the Initiative is?"
"I grew up on the Hellmouth, Jim. I was part of the Scooby Gang. Of
*course* I know what demons are. . .what the Initiative is. But I'm not
going to experiment on them like the last one did," Alex said, sitting back.
He crossed his arms. "I don't care what order you give me. It may be good
for my country, but it's not good for our lives. If they escape - and trust
me, they've escaped - then they go crazy. I can assure you, if and when
Hostile 17 ever gets his chip out, there's a *long* list of people that will
be killed."
Jim smiled, glad that he wouldn't have to try to convince Harris that
vampires and demons existed. It was with sudden clarity that he realized
exactly *why* he was the Captain assigned to run the Initiative this time
around. "Actually, we aren't going to do it the same way we did last time.
We were approached by the Watcher's Council in England. They wanted to
reinstate the Initiative, but work together, to help the Slayer. The
government also gets all the logs, which benefits both sides. The head of
the Watcher's Council has appointed a. . ." He glanced through his files.
"A Rupert Giles to be the liaison between you and the Council."
Alex smiled. "Giles. Haven't seen good old Rupert in years either. I'm
glad he's still alive."
"You know. . .?"
"Buffy's Watcher. He was a father to us," Alex sighed. He cleared his
throat, the wistful sad look on his face immediately replaced by the soldier
in him. "So. When do we leave?"
Part Two
~Personal Journal of Captain Alexander L. Harris~
January 14, 2006
1305 hours
At 1330 hours, I will be meeting the Slayer and her Watcher. I've made it
very *very* clear to my men that I do not, under any circumstances, want
them to tell Buffy and Giles that I am Alexander Harris. That should be no
problem for my squadron - they will just tell them that "Captain Harris"
will join them soon. I know that it will shock them both. I'll walk into
that conference room and. . .
And. . .
. . .I have no clue how she will react. Will she be happy to see me? Will
she be angry with me for leaving? It doesn't matter either way. It's been
six years. I've grown up so much in the last six years - I can take care of
myself now, I don't need someone else to affirm my self-esteem. I am a
member of the United States Marine Corp - a *Captain* no less. I know that
I kick ass. I can handle myself in hand-to-hand combat, and I can fire an
M-16 like no one's business. Of course, I can pull one apart and put it
back together in a little under a minute, but that's beside the point.
I've fought in small wars, I've looked down the barrel of my enemy's gun, I'
ve even been held hostage for a few days. I have killed.
I didn't particularly enjoy the killing, for the most part. There was a
tiny bit of me - the part that would have taken over if I'd ever been turned
into a vampire - that *roared* in pleasure when I looked down and saw the
blood gushing out of the slit my blade made in the enemy's throat.
But I digress.
If you want to relive the feeling of killing a man, just scroll back through
my journal to July 8, 2005. That's when it happened. And I must have
written *pages* on the feeling of it that night.
So I'm going to present myself to Buffy and Giles - the Zeppo, the long lost
goofy best friend that couldn't do anything other than deliver donuts. . .I'
m going to present myself to them as Captain Alexander Harris, the one
running the whole damn program.
*smiles* For once, the tables are turned. I know what's going on and I
have some sort of control.~
~*~
"Are you sure about this, Giles?" Buffy asked softly, shifting in her chair.
She didn't want to be there, meeting the Captain Harris that would be
running the Initiative. She wanted to be at home with her two month old
Riley Junior, doting on her son, being the mother she'd always wanted to be.
But instead, Willow and Angel were watching the little boy while she was at
this ridiculous meeting and her husband was at work. She sighed, running
her fingers through her hair.
"I think that this time, it will be better, Buffy. I have been assured that
Captain Harris will not. . .*flip out*, as Willow so delicately put it, and
try to kill you like Dr. Walsh did."
Buffy snorted. "What'd ya do, Giles? Walk up to the military guys and say,
'Er, excuse me, but are you planning on killing my Slayer?' "
Giles had the decency to look hurt. "Of course I did, Buffy. I will *not*
allow you to participate in your government's insanity if they believe they
are going to kill you. I'm still at a loss as to why the Watcher's Council
did this to begin with."
Captain Alexander Harris fought back the smile, somewhat happy that Giles
and Buffy still argued like they always had. He straightened, and glanced
at the Lance Corporal at his side. Lance Corporal Brian O'Neal cleared his
throat, causing Buffy and Giles to turn around. Alex kept his face and eyes
emotionless when Buffy gasped and Giles murmured, "Oh dear Lord."
"Mrs. Buffy Finn, the Slayer, and her Watcher, Mr. Rupert Giles, I present
to you the head of the Initiative, Captain Alexander L. Harris. Captain,"
the Lance Corporal said, "I'll leave you to it. Just call if you need
anything." He turned and snapped off a salute, which Alex returned.
"Thank you, Lance Corporal O'Neal. Please, shut the door on your way out."
The man nodded, and walked out of the room.
Alex stood there, at complete attention, his mind racing on how to break the
ice of the room. Fortunately, Buffy did it for him. "X. . .Xander?"
Alex focused his eyes on the Slayer. "I go by Alex now, Mrs. Finn, but you
can call me Captain Harris."
Pain flashed across her face. "Al. . .Captain Harris. . .I'm. . .I. . .didn
't. . .and oh my god, does Willow know you are in town yet? Have you seen
her? How long have you been here? How long are you staying? Is this what
you've done. . .you are a Captain now? That's pretty important, right?
Xander, you were always important to us. . .we missed you so much when you
left. . ." Tears were spilling down her cheeks, and Alex was shocked at how
much emotion Buffy was showing towards his leaving.
Alex chewed the inside of his cheek, fighting an internal war. 'Do I remain
aloof, staying the Captain while I'm in town?' or 'Do I become their friend
again? Do I let them get to know Alex Harris?' He glanced at Giles, who
had removed his glasses. There were tears in the older man's eyes. That
was what broke Alex, seeing the tears well up in Giles' eyes.
"Buffy," Alex said softly, loosening his body.
"Xander!" she cried, rushing to him and throwing her arms around his neck.
Alex froze, then relaxed, hugging the Slayer back. She pulled away and
smiled at him. He returned the smile. "I don't go by Xander anymore,
Buffy. I'm a different person now. I'm. . .I. . ." He chewed his bottom
lip, then stood tall. "I am a Marine, I am a Captain, and I am a man. I
can take care of myself, and I can defend myself. I don't have to stand in
anyone's shadow, nor do I need to hide behind any trees. I may not have
fought demons the last six years, but I've fought the ones within myself;
and I have come across a human enemy or two. The Xander Harris that you
knew, the one that was your best friend, he died the moment you said you
didn't need him. At that point, everything he. . .everything *I* was, it
was all for you, to help you save the world, to help you save innocent
lives. And then you told me you didn't need me. Willow didn't need me,
Anya just needed sex. So I made the best decision of my life. I joined the
Marines."
"Alex," she said, testing it out. "Alex. . ." She poked her lips out in
the classic Buffy way, making Alex smile. "Al. . .ex. I like it. Very
mature, very. . .grown up and responsible."
He smiled. "Thanks, Buffy. Now, I need to brief you. . .as I realize you
are worried about Initiative Jr., as I like to refer to it behind closed
doors, I want to assure you, I will not try to kill you. I would lose.
Badly. I may be able to take out a normal human, but I'm not stupid. There
's no way I can take out a Slayer." He threw her a grin that she'd know,
one that he hadn't used in years.
Both her and Giles lit up.
Alex chuckled, knowing that everything was going to be just fine.
~Personal Journal of Captain Alexander L. Harris~
January 14, 2006
1748 hours
I'm sitting outside the Finn residence.
I don't know why I'm scared to go inside. I've already hashed it out with
Buffy, and Giles, and we are fine. There was some calm talking, there was
some yelling about the way the Initiative would be run, but we are fine. I
don't give a shit either way what Angel and Riley think about me being here.
I think Riley will respect me, since he is a former Marine himself.
Not concerned with Cordelia, or her husband Gunn - hell, I've never even met
Gunn. Wesley doesn't matter to me either. Sure, I'll eventually call all
of these people friends, I'm sure, but it was only three people that I was
concerned about, and I've confronted Buffy and Giles.
It's Willow.
I'm actually scared. Terrified that she will look at me with those big
green eyes and whisper that I betrayed her. That she will go run to Angel's
arms, and sob, completely shutting me out of her life.
There's not much that I'm scared of anymore, and frankly, I don't really
like the feeling. I am a Marine! I'm not supposed to be scared! Not of
Willow Rosenberg.
Willow was my home growing up. Anytime I needed to get away, or feel the
comfort in the arms of someone, it was Willow. She would hold me, she would
soothe me. She was the cure to all my ills. And then I left.
I guess there's only one way to deal with it, and that's to swallow my fear,
walk up to Buffy Finn's door, and knock.~
~*~
There was a knock on the door. Buffy glanced around the corner, not telling
*anyone* about it being Xander. . .Alex. "Wills, can you get the door?
That must be the Captain!"
"Are you sure about this?" Willow asked, raising her voice over everyone's
talking, and Gunn and Cordelia's twins playing with Riley Jr. "Are you sure
he's not setting us up for an ambush or something?"
"I don't think so, Willow," Buffy said, walking into the living room and
putting the food down on the table. Her house was a madhouse - the entire
gang was there, even Spike. "There was something. . .something about his
eyes. He assured me that he wouldn't try to kill me, and that he was there
to assist me."
Willow sighed. "We lost one member of our family," she said softly, tearing
up at the thought of Xander. "I don't want to lose anyone else."
Buffy wrapped her arms around Willow, squeezing her tightly. "Don't worry
about it. I think you'll like the Captain. He's a nice guy, Wills."
Willow nodded, and moved to the door. She took a deep breath and put on her
"resolve-I-don't-like-you" face and opened the door. She looked up and
blinked, her mouth opening, then closing.
Alex smirked slightly, running his fingers through his hair. The years had
done his best friend good. She was shaped more like a woman, her hair
longer like he'd always liked it, her eyes sparkling with happiness at
living so long and having someone to spend her life with. "Captain Alex
Harris at your service, milady," he said, bowing.
"Xander?" she whispered softly, tears filling her eyes. "Xander, is it
really you?"
"In the flesh, Wills," he said softly.
She launched *out* of the house, almost knocking the Captain over with the
brunt of her petite body slamming into his for a hug. "Oh my goddess,
Xander, oh my goddess!"
Alex chuckled, hugging her tightly. "And here I was scared you were going
to hate me."
She pulled away, slapping him on the arm. "Don't you *ever* go for *six*
years without letting me know you are alive, Alexander LaVelle Harris! I
swear, next time, I'll make Angel drain you! He may have the soul, but he'
ll do that for me, you know." She narrowed her eyes in anger.
Alex shivered slightly, knowing that the death glare he was getting from
Willow was worse than anything any General could do or say to him. "Sorry,
Wills," he said sheepishly. "I had. . .I had issues to deal with."
"Are they dealt with?" she asked, her arms still around his neck, her feet
dangling off the ground.
"Mostly, yea. The last one was coming home, and the military helped me with
that one," Alex replied.
Her face lit up with a beautiful smile. "Good. So you are home now. Come
on! You have to meet Charles. . .that's Cordelia's husband Gunn, and um,
they have twins, and you know Angel and Wesley and Riley and Cordelia and
Spike and. . ." She yanked him in the house, everyone talking at once,
trying to find out how Xander had been and how long he was going to be in
town. The redhead stopped and looked up at Xander with amazement, then
turned as something clicked in her head. "BUFFY SUMMERS FINN!" she yelled.
Everyone quieted, looking at the fuming redhead.
"What?" Buffy asked quietly, not having any idea why the witch was angry
with her. She chewed her bottom lip.
"You've known since your meeting at 1:30 today that Xander was back home and
*YOU* *DIDN'T* *TELL* *ME*?"
"Rosenberg!" Alex barked, the Captain in him coming out. There were certain
circumstances that brought the soldier fully out in Alex; someone yelling in
anger was one of them.
She blinked, turning to him, her face in shock. "Xander?"
"I asked her not to tell you," he said, a little calmer, but still with the
gruff edge six years of being a Marine will do to a person. It was
ingrained in him, as was Riley, who stiffed automatically at the commanding
tone to Alex's voice. "I wanted to surprise you."
She sniffed, wiping away tears. "Ok then," she said softly. "As long as
she wasn't keeping it from me to hurt me."
"No, just to surprise you." He smiled softly, holding his hands out.
"Surprise."
Willow threw herself in her best friend's arms, sobbing against his neck,
thankful that he was still alive.
~Personal Journal of Captain Alexander L. Harris~
January 21, 2006
0403 hours
It's 0403 hours. In civilian terms, that would be 4:03 am. I'm exhausted.
But I can't sleep.
I shouldn't even stop my research, I should just keep working at it, but I
have to stop, I have to think, I have to put together my thoughts and decide
what I'm going to do with the information that my one of my associates in
Washington sent me.
I've been in Sunnydale a week. One whole week. I've ended up spending more
time with Willow and Angel - who was completely shocked that I was mature
enough now to call him 'Angel' and not 'Deadboy' - than anyone, though I've
spent almost as much time at Buffy and Riley's. And then there's been the
times that all of us were together.
The most curious thing is the way Spike. . .William the Bloody. . .is
reacting to me. His chip must be making him deranged or something. He came
up to me a couple of nights ago, while my men and I were on patrol - just
for the record, Angel and Spike are two vampires my men are not allowed to
*touch* - anyway, we were on patrol, and Spike pulls me aside and said that
I was, and I quote, ". . .such a sexy bloke with all the military garb and
that growly voice." Apparently, my sternness that comes with being a
Captain reminds him of some of the finer dominating points of a vampire.
It makes me wonder just *how* fucked up was Angelus and Spike's
relationship? I'm not saying anything against it, I just never thought that
someone standing over someone else and barking out orders was much of a
sexual kick.
I certainly didn't get off when some Drill Sergeant was in my face yelling.
However, no matter how deranged Spike may or may not be. . .the man has his
strong points. He can beat the *shit* out of a demon. He's already saved a
couple of my guy's lives, grumbling about it the whole time. I think he
likes it though. I haven't decided. I can *almost* see that happy gleam in
his eye when he helps someone.
So apparently, by Willow's whispered giggles, Spike's been watching my ass.
Something about the way my body looks in fatigues or something. And. . .I
can't say that doesn't exactly bother me.
There is a total of one person who knows that I am bi-sexual. My best
friend Willow Rosenberg. Well, two, counting Graham. A few more if you
count the one-night stands I had while I was still a grunt soldier. I
stopped all indiscretions once I became an officer. The whole "Don't Ask,
Don't Tell" rule. However, it doesn't bother me, I can be just as happy
with a woman as I am with a man.
But even that isn't the urgency to which I am writing in my journal.
I can remove Spike's chip.
I have the notes, on my desk, sitting in front of me. I can remove his
chip, and he would be fine. He would be the Big Bad, chipless William the
Bloody.
And Captain Alexander L. Harris doesn't want to do that. That would not be
good. It would be dangerous to my squadron, and to the citizens of
Sunnydale, California.
However, Xander Harris wants to. Spike doesn't deserve to have the chip.
Sure, he killed a *lot* of people, but it's his nature to be violent, to
kill people, to drink blood. But it's not natural for his instincts to be
curbed like they are.
I'm going to have to call a meeting of the Scooby Gang.~
~*~
"You can do what?" Buffy asked softly, running her fingers through her
blonde hair.
Alex shifted in his chair, holding up a folder, stamped *confidential*. "I
can remove his chip, Buffy. That's why we are having this meeting, the four
of us. The original Scooby Gang. Willow, Giles, Buffy. . .what do I do?
Do I tell him? Do I remove it? Or do I burn the papers and forget they
existed?" It wouldn't be the first time he'd done that.
"We *have* to remove it!" Willow exclaimed. She always was the most
compassionate of the group. "He deserves to live naturally, not with that
piece of metal in his head!" Alex also assumed that some of the hatred of
the chip on Willow's part was from her mate, who *hated* the fact that his
Childe couldn't be the vampire he wanted to be, nor could he protect himself
from humans.
Giles cleared his throat. "I don't know. I trust Spike a lot more than I
did seven years ago, but. . .he has a lot of pent up aggression against us.
He may attack once the chip is out and kill the lot of us. I don't think we
'd be able to stop him."
Buffy took a deep breath. "We should do it," she nodded. "I trust Spike.
He's saved me plenty of times when it would have been *just* as easy for me
to die, and he'd be rid of me like he's always saying he wants."
"What if it's because he wants to kill you himself?" Giles asked quietly.
Buffy snorted, then rolled her eyes. "Spike isn't that patient. He would
have given up a long time ago and let me die."
"She's got a point, Giles," Alex nodded. "Spike isn't very patient. He. .
.he seems to a part of the group. He may complain and bitch, but he is a
part of the Scooby Gang. But. . .it's up to you guys. I'll never say a
word if you don't want to." He chewed his bottom lip, waiting patiently,
almost hoping that they would say to take it out.
They whispered among themselves, finally turning to Alex. "We think you
should take it out," Buffy said quietly.
Alex smiled briefly, clutching the folder to his chest. "Good. I'll see
about finding Spike and having the operation started."
~Personal Journal of Captain Alexander L. Harris~
January 21, 2006
2004 hours
It's done. Spike's chip is out. It didn't take very long for the doctor to
remove it actually, not once we got Spike *sedated*. I tried to convince
him that he needed anesthesia, but he claimed he didn't, that he'd had an
operation done before and it didn't hurt enough to put him to sleep.
However, I needed him to be asleep, needed that protection so I could follow
through with my plan.
I convinced him it was a different operation, and this one *would* hurt, so
he finally agreed, but didn't want "that bloody wussy medicine. Gimmie
alcohol!" So we gave him alcohol. It was whiskey, I think.
Anyway, once the vampire fell asleep, the doctor hurriedly removed the chip.
I have it here on my desk, in a jar of alcohol, watching it sit at the
bottom. I'm not sure why I'm keeping it - I don't know if Spike is the
sentimental kind of guy. . .I mean, he *does* have the same outfit he wore
seven years ago on, so he probably is. Knowing Spike though, he'll
completely destroy the chip. I wanted to give this to him so he could have
the option if he wants it.
So after the doctor stitched the back of Spike's neck back up, he hurried
out of the room, locking me in here. This is my big plan. I don't know if
I will live through this or not. Angel knows that the chip is out, and if
the two of us don't come out by this time tomorrow, that I'm either dead, or
a vampire, and to come in and stake us. It's a genius plan really. Only
*I* know the way out from the inside, so if Spike kills me, then there's no
way he's getting out to cause more havoc on Sunnydale.
Only time will tell if I die or not.
I certainly hope I don't. It would be a waste of a good Captain. . .and I'm
sure Major Horton would be really pissed off. *chuckle* I can see him now.
"ALEXANDER HARRIS, WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING, LETTING HOSTILE 17 HAVE
HIS BITE BACK? DO YOU *HAVE* A DEATH WISH!?"
I didn't even call Jim. I didn't want to give him the opportunity to talk
me out of it. He could have ordered me not to do this, and I would have had
to comply, being that he *is* my superior. I don't think they could Court
Marshall me for this. Either I'll be dead, or Spike will be a great asset
to the team. I think he'd be a better Warrior for Good if he were complete.
Of course, Willow, Angel, and surprisingly, Buffy are on my side. Giles is
wary still, reminding us that he *did* kill two Slayers, and he *has* been
threatening Buffy since the two met - even more so *after* the chip. The
rest of the group, well, they all have their opinions about it. Cordelia
and Spike get along, so she doesn't have a problem with it. Gunn pretty
much feels however Cordelia feels about something. Wesley is with Giles,
*however* he has complete faith in Angel, so he's siding more with us. He's
just concerned in the Watcher way. Riley is completely against it, saying
that he does *not* want the "psycho blonde to kill my wife and child."
Buddy, if Spike's going to kill anyone, you are high up there on his list.
I don't think you have to worry about your wife and child.
Damn. Spike's waking up. Now it's time to see how the cards are going to
play out.~
~*~
Alex closed his laptop and moved to the table where Spike was lying.
"Spike?" he asked gently, looking down at the blonde. < He really is
beautiful, lying here all peaceful and calm. Not biting. Not biting is of
the good. >
Spike opened bleary blue eyes, his vampire metabolism already having
digested the alcohol. The vampire was going to have a headache, but he
wouldn't be drunk anymore. "Alex?" he asked. "Is it done?"
Alex glanced back at the jar, seeing the chip in the jar. "Yea, Spike, it'
s. . ." Before he could even finish his sentence and turn back to the
vampire, he was flying through the air, the front of his chest hurting from
the violent push from the vampire.
The Captain landed in a heap against a couple of chairs in the corner,
chewing the inside of his cheek. He wouldn't cry out, there was no way he'd
cry out in pain. He was a Marine. He didn't whimper and whine like he had
when he lived in Sunnydale before. He slowly opened brown eyes, staring at
the menacing full game face vampire that was stalking towards him. "Time to
die, Harris," Spike said, licking his lips around his fangs.
Alex pulled himself up, groaning slightly at the pulled muscles in his back.
He took a deep breath, but didn't flinch when Spike stopped in front of him.
"I'm bloody impressed. No fear. Do you think I won't kill you?" Spike
asked. "You suffered pain and I had no reaction, so *obviously* my chip is
out."
The brunette snorted. "I've faced death more times than I can tell you
about in the last six years, death in the form of men who wanted me dead
much more than you ever could. That's one thing the Marines taught me.
When it's time to go, it's time to go."
Spike's scarred eyebrow rose slightly, and he shrugged. "Matters not to me.
I just want the violence. Oh, and your blood."
The Captain gripped Spike's arms, holding him tightly when the blonde
lunged, sinking his fangs into the human's neck. Alex was rather shocked -
he always thought it would hurt more than it was. He *never* thought it
would be a turn on, but apparently, certain *parts* of Alexander Harris didn
't pay attention to his brain.
Alex finally moaned softly, as spots started appearing behind his eyes. He
surrendered to the darkness, whispering in his mind to Willow that he hoped
that she lived a long and happy life and that he was sorry.
~Personal Journal of Captain Alexander L. Harris~
January 22, 2006
1536 hours
I woke up in the infirmary of the Initiative. Willow was by my side,
waiting patiently. Buffy was pacing back and forth, and to my shock, Angel
and Spike were in the corner. Spike wasn't dust.
Why wasn't Spike dust?
I turned my head, looking over at Willow. "Wills?" I asked softly. "Need
water." She gave me the water I needed, and then explained the story to me.
Apparently, when I passed out, Spike stopped and actually *freaked*. He
knew he had to get me to the hospital, and quick, so I wouldn't die. He ran
to the door and tried to open it, but of course, I was prepared. He looked
around the room for something - anything - and found my cell phone on the
table. He called Angel and told him that he was locked in the room and I
was dying.
Angel came to our rescue and rushed us to the infirmary.
I was fine; I just had about a pint of blood loss. The reason I passed out
was because I had a concussion from when he threw me against the chairs.
It was the weirdest thing too. He said that he was going to kill me, then
kill everyone on his mental list, but didn't. The reason he didn't was
because he dimly overheard the conversation the doctor and I had before he
passed out.
The doctor had asked me if I was completely sure that I wanted to unleash
the dangerous animal on society, and I chastised him, telling him first off,
Spike was no *animal*, that he was an actual thinking, feeling, intelligent
being who had a right to survive just as every else did. And *then* I told
him that if one of the most sweetest women I knew, a souled vampire, and the
fucking *Slayer* trusted him, then I trusted him.
Apparently, that touched a cord in Spike's unbeating heart, that the Slayer
*trusted* him.
Besides. He told me later that it felt good to know that he could hurt a
human if needed be, but the last six years working along side Buffy and
Company had changed him, and he actually enjoyed helping them, and saving
people.
He also told me that if I ever told anyone that he said that, he'd string my
entrails all over Sunnydale and give my heart to Willow as a present.
I assured him I would never let *anyone* know how he really felt. I didn't
think Willow would appreciate holding my heart in her hand.~
~*~
"Spike," Alex groaned, sitting up on the pillows in his bedroom. "Please
stop babying me. I haven't been *babied* in years."
"Luv," Spike said, looking Alex squarely in the eye. "I almost killed you.
It's the least I can do, help you get over the pain." He set the bowl of
chicken soup down on a TV tray and positioned it over Alex's lap. "Besides,
Red made the soup, and she'd be heartbroken if you didn't eat up and get
better soon."
The mortal chuckled slightly. "Can we at least go to the living room and
watch TV?"
Spike shrugged, picking up the tray. "I can watch the tele. Can you walk?"
Alex rolled his eyes at Spike. "I've been walking all day, bleached moron.
I'm just a little sore now. It's not like I'm dying."
Spike narrowed his eyes at Alex. "Don't get testy with me, Mister." He
blinked suddenly, chuckling to himself. "Sorry. Seen Cordelia say that to
the twins far too often."
The Captain stood up, stretching slightly. He noticed Spike watching his
lean body as he stretched, licking his lips at the sight of his stomach and
his low riding pajama pants. Alex put his hands down, reaching for his
robe. He put it on and followed Spike out of his bedroom and into the
living room.
For the first time in longer than Spike could remember, he felt remorse -
remorse for hurting Alexander Harris. He whined and bitched about it,
saying he was a demon, that he shouldn't feel remorse. However, everyone
knew that he was just bitching because he could - Angel was trying to hide
the smile at Spike's apparent anger of feeling guilt at hurting Alex.
Alex himself thought it was humorous. The blonde was obviously going to
stay and help the group, and Giles was pleased that Spike wasn't going to
kill anyone. Buffy even told him that she was glad that she had him on his
team.
The two settled on the couch, turning the television on to some mindless
sitcom that was on, laughing when it was appropriate to laugh, saying 'aww'
when the characters did something stupid. Alex ate his soup in peace, until
finally deciding he was full. He put the tray down on the ground and sat
back against the couch.
"Hey, Harris," Spike said, glancing over at the human.
Alex turned his head, smiling slightly at Spike. The blue light from the
television lit up his hair and face, and danced in his eyes. It was odd to
see Spike bathed in blue, but Alex decided he was beautiful like that.
"Yea, Spike?"
"Come here," he nodded, putting his arm on the back of the couch. "With
your body in the pain that it's in, it's probably bloody uncomfortable for
you to be sitting straight up against the back of the couch. So I figure
you can sorta. . .sit against me. Not that I want you to, of course, but
because I don't want you whining in the morning about your bloody stiff
muscles."
Of course, that was a lie - Spike knew that Alex didn't complain about his
injuries, rarely even showing if he were hurt or not.
Alex shrugged and leaned into Spike's embrace. The vampire wrapped his arm
around the human and together, they watched TV.
~Personal Journal of Captain Alexander L. Harris~
January 23, 2006
0904 hours
I guess it's a curse for me to wake up early, no matter how *late* I was up
the night before, or how much sleep I didn't get. I guess Spike and I
finally fell asleep - well, really went to sleep - about 0330 or so.
We snuggled on the couch. I felt so high school, sitting on the couch,
snuggled to a vampire who could kill me without me even realizing I was
dead. But it was so nice. It has been *years* since I'd been cuddled. He
rubbed my back, claiming that he knew that my back hurt from him slamming me
into the chairs, even "if you won't bloody tell anyone you are in pain."
We talked about a lot of things. He confided in me that he really did enjoy
being a part of the group, that he was glad he could *really* spar with
Buffy now - he didn't enjoy her just beating the hell out of him. He'd
always go try to beat the hell out of Angel after one of his 'sparing'
sessions with Buffy, and be humiliated even more, because of course, Angel
beat him down. So I told him that I'd spar with him, even though I knew he'
d win.
He turned to me and smirked, asking me, "But you'd give me a pretty good
fight, wouldn't you, luv?"
Of course I would, Spike. I'm not the Xander Harris you used to know.
We are supposed to spar later on. Spike said that Giles has this great
training room in the back of the Magic Box, so we will probably go there.
When Angel and Spike were walking around the complex, some of my men were
getting a little weirded out, I think. I guess they ignore them on the
grounds of Sunnydale, but when the vampires are walking around in their own
territory, on *their* ground, it is a little disconcerting. I didn't want
to make anyone uncomfortable, so I didn't mind going to Giles' to spar.
Mmm, my vampire is waking up. I'd better go see how I can entertain him. .
.~
~*~
Alex and Spike circled each other. Spike looked refreshed, like he'd just
stepped out on the mats. Sweat was dripping down Alex's face, his hair
matted to his forehead. He was panting from the exhaustion of throwing
Spike off.
"You fight pretty well, luv," he nodded, still circling.
"Hand-to-hand combat, Spike," Alex grinned, cracking his knuckles. "I
excelled in boot camp at it."
"So," Spike said casually, "being a military bloke, have you killed?"
An eyebrow rose as Alex studied him inquisitively. "Does it matter, Mr. I'
ve Taken Out Two Slayers?" He flinched slightly, seeing the blonde take his
moment to rush him.
Spike slammed into Alex, causing the mortal to fall to his back. He curled
his back, rolling over, flipping the two of them. Alex landed in a straddle
above Spike. He leaned over, resting his hands on either side of the
vampire's head. Spike grinned up at him. "Not really, luv. Actually, the
thought of you killing gets me rather. . ." He smirked again, thrusting his
hips up to let Alex know *exactly* how it affected him.
Alex moved down slightly, sitting back on his heels, resting his body along
the length of the vampire's hard sweatpant covered cock. He grinded
slightly, making the vampire moan. "I have, yes, just so you know. It wasn
't something I particularly enjoyed, but it was him or me. Obviously, I
wasn't ready for death."
"It was far away, wasn't it? You had a gun of some sort, and shot a hole in
the bloke?"
The human smirked. He leaned down, his lips inches from Spike's. "Nope.
Right there on him, gripping his hair as I ran the blade of my knife along
his neck. You should have *seen* all the blood. . ."
Spike groaned, the images of a naked Alexander Harris slitting a throat
dancing through his head. "Cor, luv. . ." he said softly.
"When you bit me yesterday, why didn't it hurt?" Alex asked suddenly,
causing the vampire to open his eyes.
"It didn't?" Spike asked.
"No, got me rather. . ." Alex left the statement unsaid, smirking as he
grinded his own growing erection into the vampire's pelvis.
With a roar, the vampire flipped the two, capturing the mortal's lips in a
passionate embrace. The two kissed, the world falling away from them. Alex
ran his fingers through blonde hair, pulling him closer, needing to feel the
cool body against his heated one. "Spike," Alex moaned when the vampire
pulled away.
"I think we should go back to your house," Spike murmured, his normally icy
blue eyes turning midnight blue with desire.
"Why not here?" Alex asked, his brain not thinking straight through the hazy
lust he was feeling.
"And give the kiddies a free show?" Spike shrugged. "If you want, I'll
bloody shag anywhere." He reached down and started to pull Alex's shirt
off.
"No, you are right. My house," Alex murmured, knowing that even though all
of his friends would find out about the affair between the two of them, they
still needed to remain somewhat discreet. He was, after all, an officer in
the military.
Spike jumped up, pulling the mortal with him. He attacked Alex's swollen
pink lips again, running his cool hand up and down the heated flesh of the
human's back. "Now," Spike murmured against his lips.
Alex nodded. "Now."
~Personal Journal of Captain Alexander L. Harris~
February 13, 2006
1308 hours
It's been a while since I've written in my journal. Even while I was in the
jungles, fighting mini-battles, I would still take time to write at night.
However, obviously, I haven't written in two weeks.
So much has happened in the last two weeks. A group of demons came to town
to destroy Buffy, and with the help of my men and me, the Scooby Gang
defeated them. It took a couple of days, but it was done.
I don't really consider myself a full-fledged member of the Scooby Gang
anymore, more like, an Honorary member. I don't go to all of their
meetings, but then they don't come to all of mine. I don't ask them, and
they don't ask me. They know when my briefings are, and I know when theirs
are. I know I'm always welcome there, and they are always welcome at mine.
Riley does come to the briefings a lot, I think he misses the military
lifestyle some. I've given him as many jobs as I can give him, with him
being a civilian now. He has patrolled with us before, and my squadron
really is impressed to be working along side with the original Commander of
the original Initiative.
Spike teaches my men how to fight with vampires, what is the easiest way to
kill them, a few tricks here and there how to ambush them. They don't mind
that he's a vampire, though most of them still don't know he doesn't have
the chip anymore. I thought of telling them, but then figured one of my men
might get stake happy, and for that, I would kill with no second thoughts.
I don't love Spike, not by a long shot. I care a lot about him, and I know
I'm falling in love with him. Willow teases me about it and says we are
special because we have vampires that want us.
Sex with him is. . .it's incredible. It's a roller coaster of emotions -
more happiness than with any other partner I've ever had, more fear with any
other partner I've ever had. I trust Spike, as much as I can allow myself
to trust an evil, soulless demon, and I know he's not going to kill me.
However, when he comes towards my neck with those fangs, I get a shiver of
fear. He could just as easily drain me in the heat of the moment. But the
sex is. . .it's incredible. Sometimes it's tender, sometimes it's violent.
. .he always seems to know what mood I'm in, what kind of day I've had.
And he likes for me to bark orders at him. Says it reminds him of Angelus
in the glory days. I'm used to barking orders, so I certainly don't mind.
Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. I don't know what my demon has planned, but I
know he's up to something. . .~
~*~
With an exhausted sigh, Alex walked into his apartment, dropping his
briefcase in the chair. < I know it's Valentine's Day, I know we are going
to have dinner somewhere, I know the man has a great evening planned for us,
but I just want to sleep, > he thought.
He rubbed his face tiredly, stumbling slightly into the living room. He
opened his eyes to head to his bedroom and get changed for the night of
surprises planned for him. He stopped in mid-step, his mouth dropping open
in shock. The apartment was *covered* in rose petals and flickering
candles. Everywhere Alex looked, there were blood red petals. "Oh, my
god," he said, blinking in shock.
"Happy Valentine's Day," a voice from behind purred in his ear.
"Spike, what the. . ." Alex trailed off. It was *so* romantic, but not
what he was expecting. No one had *ever* done something sweet and romantic
for him - not to this scale. "What is this?"
"Valentine's Day, luv." Spike wrapped his arms around Alex, allowing the
officer to slump against him in exhaustion. "I know you had a hard day
today. . ."
"How did you know?" Alex turned his head, a slight smirk on his face. Spike
always knew when Alex was having a particularly bad day and he couldn't
figure out what tipped the vampire off.
"You know, I really like that mate of yours, O'Neal. He's taken to calling
home to let the answering machine know what kind of day you've had," Spike
chuckled, pulling Alex's jacket of his uniform off.
Alex laughed, shaking his head. O'Neal was one of the few soldiers in the
Initiative that Alex really considered a *friend*. They'd served together
before, and knew each other pretty well. O'Neal knew all about Spike,
everything from him not having the chip anymore to his relationship with his
Commanding Officer. < Should have known. Only O'Neal would call to let
Spike know my chosen mood of the night. >
Spike led the human through the rose petals, pushing him down so he was
sitting on the couch. The vampire worked towards taking off the uniform.
Alex closed his eyes and relaxed, enjoying the feel of cool hands dancing on
his flesh as it was bared to the air and dancing blue eyes. Finally, when
Alex was naked, except for his boxer briefs, Spike pulled the almost asleep
human up.
Alex's eyes popped open. "Huh? What's going on?"
"Come on, luv, the bath is calling for you."
As they walked upstairs, Alex laid his head on Spike's shoulder, yawning
slightly. "I just didn't know you were so romantic, Spike."
The vampire snorted. "Remember, Harris, I was with Drusilla for a century.
She was a woman, she liked the romance. Well, except for romance to her was
presenting her with a beautiful woman to drain - but it was romance,
nonetheless."
Alex chuckled. "Thanks for leaving the woman out of the equation."
Spike grinned to himself, leading them into the bathroom. Alex opened his
eyes and smiled again, seeing the tub filled above the rim with bubbles.
There were more rose petals around the bathroom, some even in the tub,
floating through the bubbles. Candles covered every surface, casting off an
eerie, yet romantic glow. Alex's smile grew, glancing at Spike. "Bubble
bath?"
"Does wonders," Spike murmured. "Now, get in, pet."
Alex pulled off his boxers and stepped into the water, sighing happily as
the scalding water caressed his flesh. He glanced over at his lover,
watching as the vampire slowly undressed, then slid into the tub behind him.
Alex leaned against him, relaxing as the smell of vanilla and the soothing
feel of the vampire's cool body relaxed him. He yawned, his eyes closing.
"Spike," he murmured sleepily, "love you."
Spike wrapped his arms around the man Xander Harris had become and squeezed
him tightly. He dropped his head and started running his lips along the man
's shoulders. "Love you too, nummy treat," he whispered.
End
