Unscrambled
by Sandra D
I can’t believe what a bloody pillock I was!! All that time,
all I could
think of was that stupid bint! I should have *known* I was going off my
rocker
when I had that dream. It’s one thing for the soul-having poof to
fall in love
with the Slayer. But not *me*! I’m Spike. William the EFFIN’
Bloody!!! And I do
NOT fall in love with Slayers.
But I had to open my big gob to Cornfed that night in my crypt,
didn’t I? Had
to tell him *he* was the lucky one and that I *was* hot for his honey.
To tell
you the truth, I wouldn’t have blamed him one little bit if that
stake had been
real. I mean, how many times did I want to do the same bloody thing to
Angelus
when he made the moves on my Druscilla?
I imagine everyone on the Hellmouth thinks I left because the Slayer
and
Captain Cardboard got back together. Maybe I did. But I’m glad I
did! Couldn’t
have recovered from that little mental lapse if I hadn’t. So
it’s a damn good
thing I left when I did. I probably would have done something stupid.
Can you
*imagine* what would have happened if I had told Slutty that I loved
her?! No?
Well, I can tell you! It would *not* have been a pretty sight!
Where did I go? Not that it’s any of your fucking business, but
I went to
L.A. to see Peaches. Between you and me? I don’t think he is all
there lately.
Seems to be going a bit daft. Or, at least, more daft than normal. For a
while
he just kept going on and on about Darla. I started to think he really
was crazy
until I went to see that cheerleader and the watcher. Turns out, Darla
was
brought back from the dead! As a *human*, no less! I told them they
shouldn’t
blame Angel for what he is going through. That I would bloody flip if I
saw Dru
and *she* had a heartbeat. Don’t know why I wanted them to feel
better. I really
couldn’t care less, if truth be told.
But I am glad I did because that brought up the next part of their
little
drama. Dru was in Los Angeles. And apparently my dark princess took it
upon
herself to turn the blond bitch all over again. And *right* in front of
Angel!!!
If I hadn’t been so caught up with the idea that Dru was in LA, I
probably would
have tried to help the old poof. Poor bugger. That must have really
hurt.
But, like I said. Dru was in LA. So, I was off to find my goddess.
Color me
all shades of hot and horny when I saw her and Darla going at it like
they used
to back when we were all still a family! At first, all I saw was
Angelus’ sire
sittin’ back in a chair with her legs spread and panting like she
actually
needed air. When I got a little closer I saw a head of a dark haired
woman
munchin’ between her thighs. Couldn’t believe my luck!!
Darla suddenly got all
quiet and that dark head looked up and stared right at me. Dru just
smiled
coyly. Like she always does, you know? And I swear she was more
beautiful than
the first day I saw her! Eyes all bright and face wet from Darla’s
cum. If I
didn’t know better, I’d have thought I had died and gone to
heaven!
Now, normally, I would have joined right in. I’d never been one
to pass up
the chance at being made into a Spike sandwich. But something stopped
me. At
first I thought it was because it would include Darla. But we had done
this more
times than I could count years ago. So, what’s different now? I
suppose the
easiest answer would have been Sunnydale. That would have been too broad
though.
It had to be something more specific. Then it hit me. The bloody Slayer!
Figures
she would still manage to ruin my fun just by thinking of her.
Imagine my surprise when my sire’s smile widened and she shook
her head. I
knew that look. Guess the stars are still telling her what’s in my
head.
Wondered why she was telling me it was all wrong. I mean, of course
it’s wrong
for me to love the Slayer. I *know* that! But she told me that all my
thoughts
were jumbled. That the nasty, nasty chip had scrambled everything up so
I
couldn’t think straight. Now, my Dru may be a daft bird sometimes
but I know
when she is on to something so I listened to her. The woman who was once
the
love of my unlife had become my bloody shrink!
Darla had left in a huff because I had interrupted them and Dru
insisted that
she *had* to tell me what Miss Edith and those damn stars were
whispering in her
ear. So I sat down and my dark princess stood before me with her hands
on my
head. She moved her fingers to the spot where the Initiative had stuck
that
effin’ chip in my brain. Her eyes went all out of focus and she
cocked her head
slightly like she really was listening to the stars. When she looked at
me again
she asked me a fairly simple question. One that I should have known the
answer
to, before. I *did* know the answer before! But what came out of my
mouth was
not what I was expecting. AT ALL!!!
"Tell me, my Spike. Who do you love?"
"Xander."
What the *fuck* was that?! I could not believe that was the first
name that
came out of my mouth! And, to my surprise, Dru just looked at me, smiled
and
nodded her head. She told me before I left that I needed to hurry back
to the
dark kitten. Assuming she meant Xander, I asked why. She said that he
was
hurting and needed me before it was too late. That if I hurried I
*might* be
able to help him. As usual, I had no idea what the bird was going on
about but
knew better than to ignore her ramblings. So I rushed out the door and
drove
straight back to Sunnydale.
When I got to his apartment, I thanked every deity I could think of
that I
had already been invited in once before. Because when there was no
answer, the
words Dru had spoken crept back into my mind. I tried the knob but,
finding it
locked, I nearly tore the door off its hinges when I bashed through to
get
inside. And what I saw would have stopped my heart, had it been beating.
At that
moment I knew the truth behind the answer I had given Dru. I loved this
man and
there he was dying on his living room floor.
Running to scoop him up into my arms, I took stock of what was next
to him.
An empty pill bottle, which I shoved into the pocket of my duster, an
almost
empty bottle of Jack Daniel’s and an old pack of my cigarettes
with one burnt to
ash on a little plate. My heart broke when I realized what had brought
him to
this point. It was as plain as the day I would never walk in. This man
that I
held in my arms loved me. And I left him.
I looked down at the too-pale face and felt the blood tears start to
fall. I
had to hurry. I could hear his sluggish heartbeat and knew he
didn’t have much
time. I raced back to my car with that precious bundle in my arms and
settled
him into the seat. I jumped in and drove like a bat out of hell toward
the
hospital. As soon as we got to the emergency room my Xander was taken
from me. I
gave the doctor the pill bottle and nearly collapsed into a chair in the
waiting
area.
We are in a recovery room now. And all I can do is watch his face as
he
sleeps peacefully. The doctors had to pump Xander’s stomach but
said that he
would be fine. That if I had been any later getting to him, it would
have been
to late. He would have died. And I know now, had I been too late, I
would have
stayed up to watch the sunrise through the picture window in his
apartment.
"S…Spike?"
"Shh. Don’t try to talk, luv. Here. Drink a little water."
End
