Demon Problems 
by  Saber ShadowKitten 

"Be careful." The words were out of Xander's mouth before he could stop 
them, accompanied by a worried tone of voice. He stared across the basement 
at his current roommate, who looked back at him with surprise. 

The return trip from the willow tree to the Harris residence had been 
awkward. They'd barely been home five minutes when Spike had said he was 
going out again. Xander didn't blame him. If Spike hadn't said he was 
leaving, Xander most certainly would have left. [So much for letting the 
ooshy-gooshy feelings lead the way.] 

Then Spike gave him that tiny smile, a slight nod, and left the basement. 

Those ooshy-gooshy feelings returned, full force. 

Xander dropped onto the barcalounger with a moan of despair. "Why me?" he 
asked the pipes running along the open ceiling. [Because you are a demon 
magnet, Xander,] a little voice told him. [But look on the bright side: so 
far, all the demons have been gorgeous.] 

Which was true. All his demons had been sexy as all get go: Natalie French, 
super-babe, until she shed her human skin; Ampata, super-babe, until she got 
all wrinkly and mummified; Anyanka, super-babe, after she lost her demon 
powers, and current mistress of the Xander Penis; and now Spike, super-babe 
of the male variety that Xander wanted to smother in kisses. Xander'd had a 
Cordelia, too, although she was her own category of demon - Bitch Demon. 

Xander sighed. He had kissed Spike multiple times tonight and liked it 
[hello, understatement.] If there was one thing he'd learned, kissing 
someone in a non-chaste manner while dating another was a big no-no. [Anya 
is so going to hurt me.] Temporary insanity or not, he had to tell her he 
was having not quite brotherly urges for Mr. Bleached Vampire. 

Reaching for the phone, Xander quickly dialed Anya's number before he came 
to his senses. He rubbed his sweaty palm on his thigh as he waited for her 
to pick up. [It's not to late to hang up...] "Hey, Anya..." [You had your 
chance, sucker.] "...No, I didn't call to beg for forgiveness like the pig 
dog I am. Your accent is getting better, by the way... Anya, wait, listen a 
minute... I- I have to break up with you... I have to break up with you... 
No, it's nothing you did. You're sweet, blunt, kind of funny, and 
beautiful. But we're not really working as a 'we.' Our last fight kinda 
proved that... Anya, haven't there been other men or women who caught your 
eye when we've gone out together?... Well, this gives you a chance to sample 
the many varieties of shapes, sizes, and personalities out there. Just be 
sure you stock up on condoms... Ha-ha-ha, see. And we can still do that 
friend thing. You can call me with any questions or to brag about your 
latest conquests, if you want... Yeah... Yeah. I'm glad I called, too. You 
take care of yourself, An. Don't forget about those condoms... Bye." 

Xander rang off and smiled. He broke up with Anya and he still had all his 
organs in the correct place. He hadn't been lying when he'd said they 
weren't really working as a 'we.' He just hadn't wanted to admit it, 
because being alone was no fun. [But I'm not alone, am I?] No, he had a 
five-foot ten-inch astonishingly shy vampire with the most guileless blue 
eyes that revealed every emotion and a tiny, bashful smile that turned 
Xander's insides to mush. 

[Why is Spike so shy?,] Xander wondered as he opened the sofa-bed and 
straightened the sheets and blanket. Spike seemed so surprised every time 
Xander rested a hand on him. It was almost as if the Spike had never been 
touched in a caring way before, which couldn't be true. The blond had spent 
over a century as Drusilla's boyfriend, or the vampire equivalent, so he had 
to have been touched intimately at some point. [I bet Spike was the 
care-giver of that relationship, though. I doubt Miss Loony Tunes could 
take care of a pet rock.] 

It still didn't explain the shy-boy act. Unless it *was* an act. [Nah. No 
one is that good. And what would be the point? Somehow I don't think 
'getting a human to care for me' is high on Spike's list of ways to 
terrorize the population.] 

Perhaps it had something to do with the chip. The Big Bad had what made him 
the Big Bad taken away. [A sheep in wolf's clothing, maybe?] Larry Bagby 
had been a sheep in wolf's clothing, if ever there was one. He'd been 
growly, overly-macho, and had a tendency to beat on other guys, until his 
reason for doing so had been stripped away - or in his case, the closet door 
opened. Then, Larry had become smiling, overly-friendly, and had a tendency 
to hit on other guys; almost a complete one-eighty from the way he'd been. 
Maybe that's what was happening with Spike. 

Xander grabbed a marker and the want ads, and plopped down on the bed. 
Deciphering Spike's behavior was interesting, but Xander needed to find a 
job. He had money saved up, so he didn't need to worry about being kicked 
out for not paying the rent [grumble, grumble parents.] He'd rather not 
use his savings, though, if it could be helped. He was trying to save up 
enough to move out. If he had to pay rent, he'd rather do it at a place 
that had actual windows and the only laundry he had to do was his own. 
[Soon. It will be soon. In fact, while I have the paper open...] 

***** 

The midnight movie on 'USA: Up All Night' was 'Earth Girls Are Easy.' Jeff 
Goldblum, Jim Carrey, and David Allen Greer dressed as demented Teletubbies. 
[Snerk.] Xander continued counting pennies as Geena Davis sang while 
getting her hair done on screen. There had been a few apartments he could 
afford listed in the paper which he planned to check out, and several 
employment opportunities that a dork like him could obtain. One of them - a 
general construction worker position - paid daily at a rate of $11.00 per 
hour. No insurance, but Giles had set up HMO plans for the Scoobs back when 
they were all still pimply-faced sophomores with delusions of heroic 

grandeur. They'd gotten their money's worth out of those plans. 

The basement door from the outside opened, and Xander gave a quick glance, 
his hand reaching for the baseball bat he kept beside the couch. "Oh, hey, 
Spike," he greeted, relaxing. He immediately tensed again and practically 
bolted off the bed. "What the hell happened to you?!" 

Spike didn't answer as he limped towards the bathroom. Xander was at his 
side in an instant, sliding his arm around the injured vampire's waist. 
Spike bled freely from three jagged parallel lines that ran from his temple 
across his face, barely missing his eye, as if something with claws had 
struck him. Bruises dotted his jawline, obviously from being punched, and 
strangely shaped finger marks ran along his neck. The bottom of one 
pant-leg was shredded to the knee, and his calf didn't look much better. 

Spike didn't protest when Xander hoisted him up and settled him on the 
pastel sink counter. Xander took a quick sniff as he pushed the duster off 
Spike's shoulders, trying not to wince when the vampire winced. [He doesn't 
smell like alcohol. Good.] If there was one thing the brunette didn't 
tolerate - *ever* - it was drunken fighting. 

"Talk to me, bashful," Xander urged, wetting a washrag and gently dabbing at 
the gashes on Spike's face. "What happened?" 

Spike kept his eyes averted and tried to pull away from Xander's 
ministrations. "Nothing." 

"Uh-huh." Xander lightly gripped the vampire's chin to hold him still. 
"Was this nothing human? It doesn't look like it." 

"No," Spike replied sullenly. 

Xander sighed exasperatedly. "You're how old again?" 

"What do you want to hear, Xander?" Spike snapped, jerking away. His blue 
eyes blazed hotly as they met the brunette's. "That I got beat up - again - 
by a couple of effin' demons? That I can't go to Willy's anymore to get 
human blood because I'm 'unwelcome,' and if I show my face at any other 
demon establishment in Sunnydale, it'll be ripped off? That this sodding 
chip in my head prevents me from protecting myself, and because I went to 
you lot for help, I have 'traitor' tattooed across my forehead, making me 
open game for every demon in town?" 

"Damn, Spike, I'm sorry," Xander said quietly, not knowing what else to say. 
"Let me finish patching you up. I'll try to think of a way to get you some 
human blood every so often." Angel may have been an ass, but he had been 
bluntly honest when Xander had asked questions years ago about his feeding 
habits. Bagged or not, human blood was a necessity in a vampire's diet, 
like fresh vegetables and fruits were for humans. Spike didn't need human 
blood every day, but a complete lack of it would, in essence, make him sick 
and he'd eventually become dust. 

The thought of no more Spike sent Not Happy feelings through Xander, and he 
doubled his efforts in bandaging the vampire's injuries. [Can't have him 
bleeding out what human blood he still has in his system.] Xander applied 
several butterfly band-aids to the gashes across Spike's face, then moved on 
to the blond's calf. 

"Gonna have to take your jeans off, Spike," Xander said, unlacing the 
vampire's boot and gently pulling it off. The second boot joined the first 
on the floor, and Xander's fingers were unbuttoning Spike's black jeans 
before his brain caught up with what he was doing. [I'm stripping Spike. 
Ho-boy. Or rather, down boy. You shouldn't be getting excited... Well, 
okay, you're taking the pants off a very attractive man, so yes, you should 
be, but it is very inappropriate at this juncture. I sound like a teacher. 
And goodbye, woody.] 

"Erm, Xander...," Spike began, as Xander gripped the waistband of his jeans. 
"I, ah, don't think you should do that." 

"Spike, I have to take your pants off to doctor your leg," Xander said. 
"Lift your hips." 

Spike nibbled his lower lip and looked everywhere but at Xander as he lifted 
his hips. The brunette quickly pulled the jeans down and off, and promptly 
turned bright red. [Gah! Nekkid Spike parts! Sproing!] "Um..." Xander 
grabbed a towel and tossed it on Spike's lap. "There. Sorry." 

"Thanks," Spike murmured, straightening the towel so it covered him. Shy 
Spike had returned, and kept his head down as Xander went to work on his 
lower leg. 

Xander forced himself to concentrate on what he was doing on not on the fact 
that Spike was half-naked. [Bibble.] "Uh... boy, Spike. It looks like you 
got munched on," Xander said, bandaging what looked like bite wounds. 
"What, did the demon think you looked like chicken?" 

"Dog," Spike mumbled. 

Xander frowned. "Huh?" 

"Got attacked by a dog coming home." Spike picked at the towel. "A 
rottweiler." 

"Man, it just hasn't been your night, has it?" Xander straightened and 
carded his fingers through the blond's hair above his ear. [Poor Spike.] 
"How about you go get comfy on the couch, and I'll make you some hot 
chocolate. Sound good, bashful?" 

Spike nodded, and Xander dropped a kiss on his down-turned head. "I'll toss 
you a pair of clean shorts," the brunette said, and headed out of the 
bathroom. 

Ten minutes later found Spike curled in the corner of the sofa-bed, sipping 
a hot chocolate and watching Jeff and Geena getting it on, on the 
television. Xander parked himself in the other corner with his jar of 
pennies, and alternated watching the movie and watching Spike watch the 
movie. Whenever the light caught the whiteness of Spike's bandages, Xander 
silently grew angrier at whatever demon had hurt the blond. Somehow, he was 
going to find out who it was that injured Spike and sic Buffy on them. 
Xander wasn't very happy about the dog, either, but there wasn't too much he 
could do about that. 

"Hey, Xander," Spike's quiet voice was almost buried by the sounds coming 
from the television, and Xander had to strain to hear what the vampire had 
to say. "Thanks." 

Xander smiled. "Anytime, Spike. Remember that." 

Spike glanced at him and looked away again, but Xander could still see the 
tiny smile playing across his lips. 



End