Xander walked across the streets of Sunnydale. He wasn't in the best of
moods
and to top it all of it was raining. Life was supposed to be good. He
had a
wonderful job, didn't he? Granted most people don't think to highly of a
bartender,but he enjoyed his work. He could talk to people, listen to
them,
and sometimes help them. That was probably what he enjoyed the most.
He got paid to help. If someone had a problem he'd listen and try to fix
things for them.
It was amazing how those problems more often than not weren't vampire or
demon related. More problems were either along the line of relationship
or
work related problems. Tonight for example, he had talked to a girl who
was having trouble with her boyfriend. She had looked so sad with her
glass of red wine in front of her. When he had asked if there was
anything
he could do, she looked at him and started to talk. Apparently she'd
found
out that her boyfriend had slept another woman. Unfortunately, she
discovered this by walking in on them just an hour ago. She told Xander
that at first she couldn't move a muscle, but when her boyfriend told
her
that it was just sex and that everybody cheated-when he had the nerve to
say that he still loved her-she had ran out.
Xander didn't know what to say at first. To many painful memories had
flashed through his mind of him and Willow. But when the girl looked
expectantly at him he told her that she should talk to him. He told her
that it was the only way to find out what his motivations were. She
could
judge the best if he really did love her and if it was the right love
for
her. She looked at him and said she couldn't face her boyfriend and
Xander
had replied that she didn't have to right away. He asked if she had a
friend she could stay with, as she didn't want to go back to the
apartment she shared with her boyfriend. Eventually the girl decided to
call a friend, and when she left she turned around and smiled at Xander,
thanking him for listening and the advice.
Xander knew that her problems where far from over but he hoped he had
helped her gain some perspective on the situation. It was a problem he
encountered so many times these days, infidelity. He himself had been
guilty of the same thing but he knew he could never do that again. He
knew the hurt it caused. If he looked back at his string of bad
relationships he knew he had wanted something else. He wanted someone
who
wouldn't judge him for his mistakes but who'd try to help him, who would
listen to him and offer advice or just be there for him. He wanted
someone he could trust. He wanted someone to make love to and not
someone to simply have sex with; he knew the difference. It was one of
the
reasons he had broken up with Anya. A week later he had told his
friends. That had been one of the most difficult things he'd ever
done. He had told the gang that he was gay. Xander knew deep down that
the
only way he would ever find someone to really love, was to accept
himself
and find a man. Giles had replied with a simple "so what?" and just
read
on, while Buffy and Willow had been more shocked. Buffy had said that
she
was glad he told them and that she just hoped that he was happy. Willow
took it hard. First she started to cry and didn't want to be comforted
by
Xander, so he made his excuses and left. Yet the very next day Willow
had
stood on his doorstep and told him she could accept his being gay.
When he was with the gang the last few days the subject was mostly
avoided. Buffy had made a remark when she had caught Xander checking out
a guy and had smiled at Xander. She told him, he had good taste.
So if his friends had accepted it and he had such a wonderful job why
did he feel so restless? Normally when he walked home after a shift at
the bar he had no qualms over walking home alone. Now, however, he
looked
at every shadow and listened for every noise.
Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder.
"AAHH!"he screamed.
"Be quiet, mate. Do you want to attract every bad element in Sunnydale
or something?" Spike looked at him.
"I thought I already had." Xander replied.
"So, you think I'm attracted to you do you? And didn't you just refer to
me as a bad element?"Spike winked at him
Xander stared at Spike. Was the vampire flirting with him?
"What do you want Spike?"
"Hm, so many things. But to get to the point Giles has kicked me out, so
you're getting a house guest."
"What! But you can't... I mean no one told me... and it's not a good
time.
I'm sorry Spike."
Xander knew he had to keep Spike away from him. From the remarks Spike
had made he could only conclude that Spike knew he was gay. If there was
one thing he didn't need, it was Spike teasing him mercilessly. These
days
it seemed that if Spike couldn't torture someone physically he'd do it
emotionally.
"Look mate, there is nowhere else to go and besides we're already here."
The walk to his house was indeed over. He walked up to the front of the
house and opened the door.
He signaled Spike to be quiet and let him down to the basement.
"You really need to clean up more if you expect me to stay here." Spike
said.
"I wasn't expecting company."
"Oh, I would have thought with your "coming out", you would be
experimenting."
"No, I'm not." Xander replied. "Why do you have a problem with me being
gay?" Xander cleared his clothes off the chair for Spike to sleep in.
"Nope, sorry to disappoint you. I'm just glad to have a kindred spirit."
Spike grinned at Xander.
Xander whirled around to face the vampire and looked at him
questioningly.
"I fall for guys just as well as girls. Well mostly for guys. They just
have more bits to play with." Spike leered at Xander.
Xander didn't know how to react. Spike sighed. "Look Xander, I just mean
that
if you want to talk about it you can talk to me. It's not as if I have
anything better to do. Not like the good old days. If I was bored then
I'd just find someone to play with." Spike had trailed of with a look of
content.
"My life is not something to play with, thank you very much. Look, just
turn
around so I can get into my pyjamas."
"Ooh, can I watch? It's been such a long time since I saw someone
strip."
"No, just turn." Spike obliged and Xander quickly slipped on his
pyjamas.
"A word of advice, when you do get a guy over that will be such a turn
of."
"What do you mean? Xander asked.
"Aren't you a little old for Buzz Lightyear pyjamas?"
"Nope, now let me get you a blanket. Oh, I've got two on my bed. You can
take the one on top."
As he reached for his blanket, he saw a red rose on his pillow.
"And here I was thinking I had a chance. But no, loverboy gets roses."
Spike grinned.
Xander reached for the card. It read "I miss you". Who could have left
it here? He wasn't seeing anyone. He didn't know why, but he got an
uneasy feeling about this.
Suddenly Spike looked up and sniffed the air. "What the hell?" He
snatched the rose from Xander's hands.
He sniffed the card and his eyes turned golden. Xander took a step back.
Spike turned to Xander and said "This is human blood. The card is
written in human blood."
Xander was shocked and sank to the floor.
Spike hurriedly walked over to the boy. This wasn't what he had
intended. When he overheard a conversation between the Slayer and the
Watcher, he had learnt that Xander was gay. So he had told Giles he
needed a change of scenery and that he'd be bunking with Xander.
He had never told or shown in anyway his feelings for the boy.
When he first met Xander, the boy was being offered to him by Angel. He
was quite simply, beautiful. His chocolate brown eyes watched Spike
fearfully. Spike had heard rumours about Angel, which was why he didn't
believe that Xander was just a peace offering. But for a moment he had
believed the boy could be his. If it was a ploy to trick him, the boy
was
very courageous to come in as bait.
Unfortunately, his doubts about Angel had proven to be correct. Angel
was no longer his beloved Sire. He had been turned into the Slayer's
lap dog. He had watched Xander fight side by side with his Sire. He
was indeed very brave to fight vampires as he had no special skills like
Angel or the Slayer. Xander didn't back down, but fought for what he
wanted.
He had learned that from all of his later meetings with Xander. No
matter what
the odds Xander would always fight for his friends. The Slayer's gang
all had
an edge when it came to fighting demons. The Slayer had her strength and
agility, Willow was a witch, Giles a warlock and of course the boy who
had
left, Oz was a werewolf. Xander's edge was his courage. He had watched
Xander fight dozens of times. He'd duck his way through demons and
vampires,
avoiding blows and attacks. He'd look out for his friends and would
often show
up to safe them at just the right time. Spike had begun to appreciate
Xander's
sense of humour. The way Xander would keep up the jokes even in
mid-fight.
Just watching Xander fight could often lift his spirits.
After his very first meeting with Xander Spike started to drift further
and
further away from Dru as he kept comparing Xander to Dru.
Once he had awoken with Dru in his arms and caught himself fantasizing
about
how it would be to wake up with Xander instead.
After that he found himself creating more and more of distance between
him
and Dru. He was afraid she might find out about his fascination with the
boy,
that she may try to hurt him.
Not much later Dru had declared she had had enough of him and he tried
to stop her from leaving him. Spike didn't want to admit it, but he
didn't
want to be left alone. A vampire who feels lonely.
Spike snorted.
He sat down and carefully pulled Xander closer to him.
"Xander, do you know who could have send this to you?"
"No, but I've been feeling uneasy lately. Like I'm being watched or
something."
"You may very well have been. I think you should tell the gang at
tomorrow's meeting at Giles' house. We'll find out who send you the
rose. Oh, and try thinking up a list of people who have left and are
back in town. Try to think of who could be missing you."
Xander looked at Spike and said "Why are you doing this?"
"What?"
"Well, taking charge about this. Why do you care?"
Spike looked at the mortal. He hesitantly spoke "I find you very
attractive. Not just for your looks but more for your actions. The way
you help your friends with fighting demons even when they've been
ignoring you mostly since they started going to Sunnydale University.
Your sense of humour can always cheer me up."
Xander blushed and nodded at Spike. "I'll tell them at the next meeting,
but I don't know who would do this. I mean human blood. Could it be the
blood of the person who sent this?"
"It's not blood from anyone I know. Every person has a different smell
to their blood and if someone bleeds when I'm near I can smell it. I
didn't smell the blood on the card immediatly because the blood had
dried up. But fresh blood I can smell easilly." Spike explained.
Xander got up and sat on his bed. Spike stood up as well and went over
to the chair.
"You should try to avoid being alone. We don't know who the sender is
or what he or she wants."
"I suppose."
"I can be with you at night but you have to find someone if you go out
during the day."
Xander started to get under the bed covers and asked, "Spike?"
"What is it, pet?"
"Could you... I mean..."
"What?"
Xander didn't say anything but he held up the blankets. Spike wanted
this gesture to happen tonight but not under these circumstances. "Oh
well," he thought. "I'll take what I can get."
Spike took off his jacket, jeans and shirt under the watchful eyes
of Xander.
"You didn't let me watch." Spike said and Xander blushed.
When he was down to his underwear he slipped under the sheets with
Xander.
Xander quickly fell asleep. Spike, however, didn't. All he could think
about was the note. Was it some kind of joke? Can't be if they use human
blood. If it isn't the sender's blood he could be capable of hurting
others. He may even hurt Xander. Spike shivered and Xander cuddled
closer to Spike. Spike looked down at the boy and slowly held him in his
arms. He vowed to himself that he wouldn't let anyone hurt the boy. He
would do whatever he could to protect Xander.
*****
At first Xander didn't remember why he could feel someone next to him,
but when he looked over and saw Spike he remembered all that had
happened. Looking at the clock, Xander saw that he had slept most of
the
day. Now that he worked the night shift at the bar he had taken to
vampire
hours. He almost never saw the sun anymore.
Spike would be waking soon. Spike. The vampire was such an enigma to
him. When they had first met Spike had tried to kill him, not to mention
the time Spike had captured Willow and him to make a love potion for
Drusilla. Now that Spike couldn't hurt him physically any more, they
had taken to making nasty remarks back and forth. Yet when he looked
back on those conversations there was never any malice to them.
Actually,
they reminded him a bit of the conversations he had had with Angel. He
knew now that the remarks he had made to Angel were mostly out of
jealousy. He remembered his slip to Willow when he had first seen Angel
and had had commented how attractive Angel was. But Angel had moved on.
He looked at Spike again. The vampire had been flirting with him. Did it
mean that he was interested in Xander or was he just having fun at his
expense? Then the episode with the rose had happened. It still gave him
the chills. But Spike had comforted him and devised a plan of action.
This was not the behavior of someone who wanted to hurt him. Yet, he
remembered what had happened between Buffy and Angelus. Angelus had left
notes for Buffy as well. What if this is what vampires do to show how
they feel? No, Spike couldn't hurt him and he had been genuinely
surprised at the flower. He looked closer at Spike, the vampire didn't
move at all when he was asleep. It wasn't like he was lying next to
corpse or anything though; Spike's body was cooler than a human body but
a
nice cool, not stone cold. He trailed his hand from Spike's ribcage
towards his face. The vampire was definitely handsome. He wondered why
Spike had dyed his hair as he let his hand slip through it. He tried
picturing Spike with dark hair but found he couldn't.
As he let his hand slip back to Spike's face he wondered about Spike's
fangs. Were they extended when he slept? Probably not. When he had seen
fangs on a vampire they had always been completely vamped out. Suddenly
he felt Spike grabbing his hand. He looked up and saw Spike staring at
him. Slowly Spike took one of Xander's fingers and slipped it into his
mouth. Xander didn't know how to react. His body did however. As Spike
twirled his tongue around Xander's finger he felt himself becoming hard.
Spike
took Xander's finger out of his mouth and pulled Xander close to him.
Slowly their lips touched. Small butterfly kisses at first but soon it
escalated in hungry long kisses.
Spike interrupted Xander's descending mouth and said "Morning luv."
Xander reached for Spike again but Spike held him off.
"We're going to be late for the meeting at Giles' house, so we have to
stop."
Xander was confused. Why would Spike care about this meeting. He seemed
to have enjoyed Xander's kisses.
"Don't give me that puppy dog look, we have to go. The sooner we go and
tell them about the rose and the note, the sooner we find out who sent
it, and the sooner we can go back to what we were doing." Spike slipped
out of bed and started to dress.
Xander reached for his jeans and shirt. When he looked up he saw that
Spike was already dressed.
"Just give me a minute."
Spike made himself comfortable in a chair as he watched Xander.
Xander felt a bit self conscious but soon was ready to go as well.
"Do you want to feed here or at Giles' place?" he asked the vampire.
"I'll do it there" Spike replied and held the door open for Xander as a
motion for him to leave.
As Xander walked out of the room he was suddenly grabbed by Spike. Spike
kissed his neck and said, "Don't think that what we did this morning is
all we're going to do, I have so many plans for you."
Xander looked back at Spike and smiled. They gave each other a small
kiss
and left for Giles'.
*****
They arrived last at Giles' house, mainly because Xander had to pick up
some breakfast. When they walked in the gang was already in a heavy
discussion.
"We don't even know if the murder happened under any unusual
circumstances." Buffy was saying.
"I agree that the murder doesn't point to anything demonic but we have
to be on the safe side." Giles replied.
"I agree with Giles, let's look into this murder. It's been quiet on the
demonic front anyway." Willow said.
"Who's been murdered?" Xander asked.
"Oh good, you're here" Giles said.
"You remember Michael Kennedy, don't you?" Willow looked questioningly
at Xander.
"Yes, I've been in classes with him since kindergarten. Has he been...?"
"I'm afraid so. According to the papers he was found with multiple stab
wounds."
"Wow, I used to be friends with him but we kinda grew apart", Xander
"Xander, I think this might be related to the note. We should compare
his blood to the blood used on the note." Spike said.
Xander quickly explained what had happened, leaving out what had
happened between him and Spike. They were all very worried.
"Maybe you should stay here for a while", Giles offered. "So you aren't
alone during the day."
"There's no need. I'll stay with Xander." Spike intervened.
Willow frowned at Xander. "Xander wouldn't want that, would you?"
"Actually, it makes sense. We're both up at night and we both sleep
during the day, what with my work at the bar."
Willow didn't seem to like it and Giles was also frowning.
Help came from an unexpected source. "It would probably be easier if you
two stick together, after all it's not as if Spike can hurt Xander, plus
he can protect Xander if we're talking about a demon here." Buffy said.
"Right well, you two stick together then and try to swing by the morgue
to compare blood samples." Giles gave in.
"I'll help you check for any demons fitting the description so far."
Willow offered.
"Actually, I'm not sure it is a demon." Giles responded. "You know
Xander
very well, maybe you can try to find people from Xander's past who have
somehow lost contact with Xander but are still in Sunnydale."
"You're probably right, I'll try to get the police report on the murder,
see if I can find out anything new." Buffy jumped out of her chair and
made ready to leave.
"Well if there isn't anything else, than I guess this meeting is
finished." Giles said.
Xander and Spike also got up. Willow stopped Xander and gestured him to
follow her. Spike looked anxiously at Xander's retreating back and than
plopped
back in his seat. It took a while for Xander and Willow to come back
from
the kitchen and Willow left without saying anything to Giles or Spike.
Xander just shrugged and asked of Spike "So have you fed yet?"
He hadn't fed so he went to Giles' fridge. Xander followed him.
"You might not want to see me feed." Spike said.
"I don't mind." Xander replied.
He warmed a cup of blood in the microwave. That invention was the only
thing that made the blood bearable. He was waiting for Xander to fill
him in on the conversation between him and Willow, but the boy wasn't
telling.
"She was just worried about me."
"She has no right to interfere with your life. After all, now that she's
attending classes she hardly has the time of day for you." Spike
remarked.
"She's still my best friend." Xander walked angrily out of the room.
Spike sighed and finished of his cup of blood. He didn't want to fight
with Xander about this. However he did know that Willow hadn't been much
of a friend to Xander lately. She mostly ignored him for her college
life. If she was Xander's best friend, then he would have to try to show
Xander what a real friend is.
He walked back to Giles and said goodbye to him.
Xander poured three beers for the college students at the bar. He was
glad he was working, it helped keep his mind off things. Spike had
dropped him off and made him promise not to leave while he checked out
Michael's body. He had a feeling that the blood from the card was
probably Michael's. It was to much of a coincidence. He didn't want to
think about the implications though. Why would he get this kind of
attention?
As he put the beers in front of the students he caught a glimpse of
Spike entering the bar and quickly made his way over to him.
"Well?"
"Sorry luv, it was definitely his blood."
"But that doesn't have to mean that he was killed by the sender of the
card." Xander tried desperately.
Spike just gave him a look that said he should know better.
Xander sighed.
"There is more." Spike said. "He was stabbed from behind but there was
also something carved in his chest."
"They didn't mention that in the papers. What did it say?" Xander asked.
"He had a heart carved in his chest."
Xander started to pale.
"Do you want to go home?" Spike asked.
Xander shook his head and said, "No, I'll finish my shift. The work
distracts me."
"Fine, I'll sit over there." Spike pointed to a table in the corner
which had a view of the bar. "Just let me know if you need me."
Xander was surprised how good it felt to work and know that Spike was
there. The vampire didn't seem to mind being stuck in the bar all night,
he
actually talked to a few of the patrons.
When the subject of his attention looked at him, he smiled. Spike
smiled back but suddenly looked alarmed.
Buffy had walked into the bar clutching her arm. Xander quickly walked
over to her. When he got closer he could see that she was bleeding
badly.
"What happened?" he asked worriedly.
"Hey Xander. I was just stopping by when I noticed someone peering
through the window of the bar. So I decided to see what he was doing,
when he suddenly attacked me with a knife. I was so surprised he
actually managed to cut me. I'm sorry but I couldn't catch him. He was
gone before I could regain my balance" Buffy said.
"What did he look like?" Spike asked.
"I can't really say, it wasn't very well lit and he was gone before I
knew what happened."
"Do you need a doctor?" Xander asked.
"I'm not sure, I might."
"Look, my shift is over in 15 minutes let me just ask the boss if it's
okay to leave earlier."
Seeing as there was no problem, they left the bar and brought Buffy to
the hospital.
"Are they giving you a discount here yet?" Xander joked.
Buffy smiled at Xander and said "Nope, I'll ask though."
Spike wandered off but Xander stayed with Buffy. "Thanks for taking me
here Xander. You're a good friend."
"That's okay. I don't want to see you hurt."
"Neither do I... want to see you hurt I mean... Um, I have to ask
something
though. What's going on between you and Spike?"
"You noticed that?" Xander asked.
"Yeah, Spike was always staring at you. but now you're staring back."
"He was staring at me?"
"Yes, when he thought nobody was looking."
"But you noticed."
"Yeah, but I'm the Slayer, extra sharp reflexes and such" Buffy
joked. "So what's the story?"
"Not much to tell actually. Ever since Spike has found out about me
being "out" he's kinda been flirting with me." Xander didn't want to
tell her that he had kissed Spike or that they had slept in each others'
"Just be careful, Xander. After all. I have experience with falling in
love with a vampire. It's not all fun and I'm afraid of what will happen
when whomever is killing for you finds out about this."
"I'll be okay. I've got all of you to look after me right?" Xander said.
Just then a doctor came and took care of Buffy. After a few stitches
they were ready to leave.
Just then a doctor came and took care of Buffy. After a few stitches
they were ready to leave.
At the dorms Xander gave Buffy a quick hug and told her to take care of
her wound.
"Yes mom, I will. Thanks for dropping me off guys. Don't do anything I
wouldn't do." Buffy smiled and walked away.
When they returned home and got ready for bed Spike asked, "So same
arrangement?"
"What, you stripping for me and I let you stay in my bed?"
"Oh no, I'm only going to strip if you are."
Xander smiled at Spike. "I'm already in my pyjamas."
"Which isn't very fair. I'm in my bleeding underwear here and you've got
all these clothes on."
"You're cold and I like to be warm when I sleep." Xander replied.
"I can keep you warm if you like." Spike teased.
Xander reached over and kissed Spike. They took their time kissing
each other. However, Xander stopped Spike's wandering hands when they
got
lower.
"Sorry Spike, I'm just not ready for anything like that yet."
"That's okay, luv. I don't want to make you uncomfortable. I do have to
make a confession however."
"Oh?"
"I lied to you when I said those Buzz Lightyear pyjamas were a turn
off. I'm reminded of his line. I keep thinking about taking you to
inifinety and beyond."
Xander snickered at that and smiled at Spike.
"I just don't think it's smart what with that killer out there. Who
knows what will happen? I mean how long do you think the guy had been
watching throught the windows of the bar. Not to mention that heart he
carved. I don't understand how someone can do that. Maybe Buffy was
right and it is a demon."
"I don't think so, luv. Their aren't any signs to suggest it. Besides
humans can be capable of just as many evil deeds as demons can.
Sometimes
I
think even more so."
Xander sighed and cuddled closer to Spike.
"Do you want to go to sleep?" Spike asked.
"No, I taped last nights X-files and I want to watch that."
"Aren't you tired?"
"A bit, but I like to read or watch something before I sleep." Xander
replied.
Xander started the tape and noticed Spike picking up a book.
He looked over and read the cover. Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and
Neil Gaiman.
"Good book?" he asked.
"Quite funny actually, I'm not very far yet but basically it's about the
end of the world."
"And that's funny?"
"Yeah, the way this is written it definitely is. I'll let you read it
after I'm finished."
Xander tried to watch the X-files but Spike kept interrupting when he
started laughing.
He would look over to Spike and Spike would explain why he was laughing.
He liked that bit about the Nun who was actually a Satanic Nun of the
Chattering Order of St. Beryl. He remembered his aunts at family
gatherings. They too kept chattering away ar him away about people he
knew
nothing about and who their friends were and what they did, while he
smiled politely. There really was something evil about that.
After another interruption he decided to watch Spike instead of the
X-files. Spike didn't notice because he was so caught up in the book.
Xander didn't understand how people could say that when someone becomes
a
vampire they lose their soul. What is a body without a soul? And what
did that mean in Spike's case? It wasn't very likely that the chip had
somehow restored it. Thinking back at how Spike was before the chip, he
remembered the way Spike loved Druscilla. He was completely devoted to
her. There was no doubt in his mind that Spike was capable of love.
But how could a soulless creature love? Wouldn't it be completely driven
by instinct? Such a creature would be more like that old version of
Dracula he had seen. Nosferatu it had been called. Now that was a scary
movie. You hardly saw any gory effects and it was a silent film. Amazing
how such movies were still scarier than any big budget films now being
made. Spike was laughing out loud again. He really enjoyed seeing Spike
laugh. There was just something there. No matter what anyone said he
would
never believe that Spike didn't have a soul or that he was pure evil. He
knew that Spike had a dark side to him. A very dark side. But that was
also about survival. Spike could only survive if he drank human blood.
He wondered if Spike had read the Vampire Chronicles by Anne Rice and
about what Lestat had said about evil being a point of view. It really
applied to this situation. From the vampire's point of view the most
evil being would be Buffy. That made him smile. After all Buffy went
around killing every vampire she met simply because they happened to be
a vampire.
"What are you smiling at?"
Spike had put his book down and was looking at Xander.
"I'm just glad you're here."
"Why?" Spike asked. "I mean, why would you like it that I'm here? I'm a
vampire and you're a mortal."
"What's wrong?" He wondered if Spike was having second thoughts about
being here.
"I mean, you're not supposed to want me here. I'm your enemy. Granted,
an
enemy who can't do anything, but still. I don't understand why you would
want me like I want you." Spike lowered his head.
Xander leaned over and hugged Spike. "You really don't understand do
you?"
Spike shook his head.
"I find you beautiful and smart. You make me laugh when all I want to do
his curl up and cry about what's happening around me. You held me last
night so that I would feel safe. You don't normally do that for someone
who's your enemy. I don't think you are my enemy. I used to think that
but not anymore."
"But .." Spike tried to interrupt but Xander quieted him with a kiss.
"You care about me and you want to protect me. I never
had that kind of relationship with anyone. My first relationship was
with Cordelia. She wanted to hide our relationship because she didn't
want people to know that she was involved with me. Like I wasn't good
enough for her. Then that whole fiasco erupted with Willow. Willow had
always been in love with me. Yet when she had me, she decided she wanted
Oz instead. When she had to choose, she chose Oz and not me.
"And then came Anya, right? Spike asked softly.
"Yeah, I could never tell with her if she was really in love with me or
if she was just trying to be in love because that's what she was
supposed
to do now that she's human. Like she has to act like a normal girl. And
seeing as I knew her background it was okay for her to slip up. It was
more like I was teaching her about how she should behave in a
relationship. She wasn't too glad when I broke up with her though. She
was
really mad at me."
"I thought she might have sent you the notes, but after Buffy said it
was a man that had attacked her..." Spike said.
"Yeah, so there's a guy out there who misses me, kills for me, and
carves
me hearts."
"Back to the subject though, thank you." Spike kissed Xander on the
nose.
"What for?" Xander asked.
"For trusting me, for accepting that I do want to love you and protect
you. I just think you should be a lot more freaked out about me being a
vampire."
Xander laughed at that. "With my track record? Let's see... a giant
praying mantis, an Incan mummy, an ex-demon and now a very sexy
vampire."
"A male vampire" Spike interrupted.
"Yes, a male vampire, but I really don't care about that. I came out to
my friends. I've accepted who I am."
"But you haven't told you parents, have you?"
"No, I haven't. They also go into the category of never caring for me or
try to protect me. I really don't want to talk about them." Xander said.
"If you do want to talk about them some day, I'll be here." Spike tried
to kiss Xander on the nose again, but Xander lifted his head so he could
kiss Spike back.
When they kissed Xander felt he could trust Spike. He had never been so
open with anyone else before. Maybe Spike was what he had been looking
for.
"That's enough mushiness for tonight." Spike said. "I'm a demon."
"A very butch demon." Xander agreed.
"I don't do mushy."
"You don't do mushy."
"I'm a big bad vampire."
"You're a big bad vampire with a very sexy..." Xander laughed.
"A sexy what?" Spike demanded.
Xander just laughed and kissed Spike.
They settled into each other's arms and Xander said "Night, Spike"
"Sweet dreams luv, I'll be here to protect you."
"Hmm" Xander agreed, already starting to fall asleep.
"I'll find out what you think is so sexy about me though."
Xander just smiled and used Spike's chest as his pillow.
The next meeting at Giles' house held more unpleasant news. They still
had no idea who had killed for Xander.
"My list only consisted of girls," Willow said. "I have no idea who it
is."
"It might be someone you're not even close to," Buffy said. "After all,
you never know these days, what with all the wackos out here in
Sunnydale."
"I think you're forgetting, however, that the sender of the rose has
been
inside Xander's room.
It's not very easy to get into his basement." Giles said. "If it isn't
someone who knows Xander they have to have followed Xander and searched
his house to find his bedroom."
"Thanks for creeping me out, G-man." Xander was looking very pale. Spike
was beginning to get worried.
"You aren't missing anything are you?" Giles asked.
"I don't think so." Xander replied. "I haven't really looked."
"We'll check it out." Spike chipped in.
"What else can we do?" Buffy asked.
"I think you should patrol more in the area around Xander's house. There
really isn't much to do until something new happens."
"Spoke to soon." Willow interrupted. "It says here that they've found
another
body". She held up a newspaper.
"Who is it?"
"The police have identified the body as being Steven Richardson." Willow
read aloud.
"Stevie?" asked Xander. He stood up and ran for the bathroom.
Spike quickly followed Xander. The boy was throwing up. He gently held
Xander and tried to calm him down.
A little later, Xander was gasping and Spike offered him a glass of
water.
"You okay, luv?"
"How can I be, I caused Stevie to be killed. I remember him helping me
when Larry would be bullying me. First Michael and now Stevie. What did
I
do, how can I make it stop?" Xander was starting to cry so Spike held
him in his arms.
"Is everything all right?" Giles came into the bathroom. When he saw the
situation he quickly left again.
"It's not your fault Xander." Spike said. "You haven't killed these
people."
"No, but they died because they knew me. I fell out of contact with him
as well. We graduated together but he went to Sunnydale University and
we just haven't spoken since. Maybe that's it. I call up everyone so I
they can't miss me. Maybe then the killer won't have anyone to kill."
"He'll just find some other reason to kill." Spike said. "It doesn't
work that way."
Buffy stepped into the bathroom. "It's not your fault Xander. Do you
think you're ready to continue the meeting?"
"Yes, let's just finish this so we can go home." Xander replied looking
at Spike.
They walked back into the room and Willow gave Xander a hug.
"I wish there was something I could do to make it all go away." she told
Xander.
"Oh dear." Giles said whilst reading the computer screen.
Everyone looked at him. "Willow has kindly hacked into the police
computer system and it seems the killer is getting even more violent,
from
the details in the police report. "Do you want to hear this Xander?
Because you don't have to. You could leave and we'll call you back
later", Giles offered.
"No, I want to know." Xander said.
"Well it seems that after stabbing Steven again from behind, the killer
not only carved another message in his chest but he also cut off his
head."
"Could be a demon after all?" Buffy asked.
"Hmm, no the head was found and no other body parts were missing. He
still had his brain and his heart."
"What was the message?" Spike interrupted.
"According to the police report, a smaller knife was used on the chest.
Again it was a heart, but this time the killer wrote inside the heart
'leave
him alone'." Giles read.
"Well, I guess he knows about us then." Xander said looking at Spike.
"You mean you two really are..." Willow's voice trailed of.
"Just recently we've begun a relationship." Xander said.
Spike was glad to hear Xander tell his friends. He didn't want to keep
things a secret between them. It also meant that Xander wasn't ashamed
of him.
"So the killer wants me to leave Xander?" Spike said, trying to break
through the silence after Xander's announcement.
"Maybe you should do what he wants", Buffy said.
"No," Xander stepped in. "I'm not giving into the killer. It's only
because Spike's here with me that I feel safe." Xander reached for
Spike's hand and squeezed it.
"Don't worry luv, I won't leave unless you ask me to." Spike replied.
"Yes, I agree." Willow said.
Xander and Spike looked at Willow surprisedly.
"I know I didn't handle you being gay very well. But even I can tell you
really seem to be in love. You shouldn't let anything come between you",
Willow explained.
Xander nodded and smiled at Willow.
He was glad that he had the approval of his long time friend.
Buffy however, didn't seem to appreciate the relationship.
"But Xander, he's a vampire. He'll hurt you," she said.
"But Buffy, you yourself have had a relationship with a vampire," Giles
interrupted.
"Yes and look how well that turned out."
"I'm not Angel," Spike defended his relationship with Xander. "Just
because my sire decided that you and he wouldn't work, doesn't mean I
think that about me and Xander. I believe we can really make this work."
Buffy didn't say anything else so Giles said, "Well I think you two
should stay together. Spike can protect Xander from the killer, while
Willow and I search for men from Xander's past who fit Buffy's
description."
"I thought you didn't see him well enough?" asked Xander.
"Just a glimpse," replied Buffy. "But it's better than nothing."
"As I was saying," Giles didn't like to be interrupted. "Buffy, you
patrol the area around Xander's house. Let's hope that we can find the
killer."
Buffy and Willow left while Spike decided to feed at Giles' house. He
liked it better there because he could warm the blood. Xander was very
quiet, making none of his usual jokes, but that was only to be expected.
He hoped that they would find the killer soon. This was someone he
really
wanted to hurt. Giles sought him out in kitchen while Xander was
watching
cartoons in the living room.
"Spike, you do realise that if this killer turns out to be human,
there's not much you can do to protect Xander?"
"You're wrong." Spike just said.
"But the chip prevents you from hurting humans." Giles objected.
"It will be painful, but not half as painful as Xander getting hurt. I
want him to be my mate and I'll do anything to protect him."
"All I'm saying is be careful. If you want to protect Xander you should
be prepared for getting help instead of attacking the killer."
"We don't know who the killer is yet, so we'll just cross that bridge
when
we come to it."
"Hey Spike, you ready? It's just that, my shift at the bar starts soon."
Xander joined them in the kitchen.
"Yes luv, let me get my coat."
"Be careful Xander." Giles said.
"Yes mom." Xander grinned. "I'll be good."
They said goodbye to Giles and left for the bar.
*****
"Are you sure you want to go to work?" Spike asked.
"I'm not letting this killer dictate my life."
"It wouldn't be dictating, you'd just be safer."
"I just want my life to be normal, okay? Besides, I like my work. It
distracts me."
"I can distract you, if you want me to." Spike smiled.
"Keep that thought in mind," Xander took Spike's hand in his and they
walked on.
Suddenly Spike pushed Xander to the ground. A second later a knife
whirled over their heads.
"Spike!" called Xander as Spike quickly got up to find the thrower of
the knife.
"You guys okay?" Buffy came running down the street. "I figured that it
would be
safer if I followed you guys."
"We're fine." Xander answered.
"Damn." Spike cursed as he came running back to them. "I couldn't find
anyone in the direction from where the knife was thrown."
"Did you see anything?" Buffy asked.
"No, it happened to fast." Xander said.
"We're going home."Spike insisted. "The killer is now after you. I'm
taking you home so that you can be safe."
"The knife could have been meant for you, Spike." Buffy said. "Remember
the message 'stay away from him'. I think this was meant for you and not
for Xander."
"For Spike?" Xander felt quesy.
"It's okay luv, let me just take you home. Besides it takes more than a
knife to take me out." Spike tried to console Xander.
"Yeah, let us take you home." Buffy agreed.
"Okay then." He wasn't feeling very well. Now Spike was the new target
for the killer. He was falling in love with Spike. He couldn't lose him.
Spike and Buffy took him home quickly. When they got to Xander's front
door Spike said "I'll handle it from here Slayer. You look out for the
killer."
"I don't take orders from you Spike. Xander's my friend I want to be
sure he's okay."
"I'll be fine with Spike, it's okay." Xander answered. "I just want to
veg out in front of the TV and later fall asleep in Spike's arms." He
wanted to be alone with Spike.
Buffy grudgingly left them and they silently went downstairs.
When they got to Xander's room, Xander immediatly moved into Spike's
open
arms.
"It'll be okay, luv." Spike soothed Xander rubbing his back.
"I just found you, I don't want to lose you." Xander spoke softly.
"You won't lose me. Why don't you sit on the bed and I'll find you
something to eat. You still haven't watched the end of that X-files
episode have you?"
"No I haven't. Thanks love." Xander sat on his bed and took of his
shoes.
Spike returned a little a later with a plate of macaroni and cheese.
"Don't worry, I didn't see your parents so I helped myself. I'm not much
of a cook, but I guess anyone can make this."
"I love macaroni and cheese. It's wonderful. Join me?" Xander had
stripped down to a shirt and boxershorts and was sitting on his bed.
Spike quickly did as was asked, and a little later Xander was watching
TV
propped up against Spike's chest. Spike was playing with Xander's hair
as Xander made remarks about the next program he had taped.
"So you see, the makers are completely forgetting that Ares is a god. He
keeps losing either to Xena, as he is doing now, or to Hercules. How can
he constantly lose to them? Even if they are halfgods, he's a god. Can't
he just manipulate a few molecules and just zap them?"
Xander was getting quite worked up about this and Spike smiled at him.
Later, when the episode was over, Xander turned of the TV and turned to
face Spike.
He kissed Spike on the lips and started slowly making his way to Spike's
neck, the cold skin almost biting back at his mouth. The taste of the
cool satin that was Spike's neck sent sparks to Xander's tongue. Spike
pulled Xander on top of him. This time Xander didn't stop Spike's
roaming
hands, and he leaned up to kiss Spike again. He needed this, needed
those
fingers to soothe the tension that had seemed ingrained in every part of
him ever since he found that rose. They quickly found each other, and as
their tongues duelled Xander felt Spike was getting hard as he was. They
held each other as close as possible, trying to become one, and at the
same time tried to get their clothes off, needing to feel skin on skin.
A few hurried moments later, both of them were naked. Their kisses were
at
first slow, but became more frantic as they rubbed against one another.
When Spike came against Xander, it accompanied with such a passion
laced groan that Xander soon followed. Spike started to get up, but
Xander stopped him.
"Where are you going?" he asked.
"Just want to clean us up." Spike answered.
"Stay?" Xander pleaded.
Spike just gathered Xander back in his arms and together they soon fell
asleep.
When Spike woke up it was to a mouthful of Xander's hair. He smiled at
the sight of Xander curled up around him. Xander opened his eyes and
looked up at Spike so he quickly leaned down to kiss to the boy. Xander
gave him such a blinding smile that he fell in love with him all over
again.
"Is it time to get up yet?" Xander asked.
"With you naked in bed? Not a chance." Spike replied.
Unfortunately, the phone rang and Xander reached to pick it up.
"Hey G-man, what's up. Did anything new happen? Good. So did Buffy tell
you what happened last night? Okay. If something does come up we'll come
over."
Xander hung up the phone and leaned back in Spike's embrace.
"Well?" Spike asked.
"They haven't found anything so they're going to keep researching and
we're to stay here."
"I like that part, but not that they still don^t know who it is, luv."
"Tomorrow is Michael's funeral. Is it okay for me to go?" Xander asked.
"I'm sure that you can go. It will be good for you if you can say
goodbye to him."
"I don't know how I will face his parents, knowing I caused his death."
Spike sat up and turned so that he faced Xander. "No. Don't even think
about blaming yourself for this. It is not your fault! The only one to
blame is whomever killed him. Not you!"
"Sorry," Xander said, and looked down.
Spike reached over and lifted Xander's head. "Don't apologize about
this. I don't like it when you beat yourself up over something you have
no control over." Spike kissed Xander on the lips and hugged him close.
"I have a confession to make, luv."
"What is it?" Xander asked as he leaned back.
"I lied to you about being kicked out of Giles'. Olivia wasn't coming
over to stay." Spike put a finger to Xander's lips to stop him from
interupting. "I overheard a conversation from which I learned you were
gay. I found out I had a chance with you and I couldn't just sit and
wait. I needed to take action, so I told Giles you had invited me over
and
I told you Giles had kicked me out. I wanted to find out how you felt
about me, if I really stood a chance. Can you forgive me?"
Xander looked Spike in the eyes and sighed.
"Promise me you will never lie to me again and I will. If we are going
to have a relationship I have to be able to trust you, and I can't do
that if you lie."
"Not even to protect you from something that will hurt you?" Spike
asked.
"Not even then. Secrets always come out here in Sunnydale, and if you
tell me we can work it out together."
"I like that, work it out together. Okay I promise." Spike sealed his
promise to Xander with a kiss.
There was a knock on the door and Buffy came in. "Oops, sorry guys, I
didn't mean to interrupt." she said.
"That's okay, Buf. What's going on?" Xander asked.
"Giles sent me over 'cause he need to talk with Spike. So I came over to
relieve him of protection duty."
"Yeah, lovely a babysitter." Xander snorted.
"I told you I wouldn't leave you alone, and this way I can go to see
Giles." Spike said. "Just let me get dressed and I'll be on my way."
Buffy turned around so Spike could dress and Xander took the opportunity
to dress as well.
"I'll be back soon luv." Spike kissed Xander and left.
As he walked over to Giles' house he wondered when they would find the
killer. Maybe the killer really was a demon, as Buffy believed. He found
it strange that as Willow didn't seem to think the killer was a demon,
and
she didn't object to Spike guarding Xander. Surely she must think that
he wouldn't be able to protect Xander as well as Buffy could. Why didn't
Buffy offer to protect Xander herself? As he went over the events that
had happened he felt he was missing something. What was the motivation
for the killer? The killer felt out of touch with Xander, he missed
Xander. The only men from Xander's past who he knew Xander had been
close friends with were Oz and Angel. He had already checked, but Angel
was still in LA and Oz was also far away from Sunnydale. That left old
school friends of Xander.
Too bad Buffy had only caught a glimpse of the killer. If only they had
more to go on. Why would the killer start killing now? Why not a month
ago? If they used to be friends in high school, and now no longer were,
why kill now? What had changed? At one point he had thought it might be
Willow. She had had a relationship with Xander, and now she was no
longer
involved with anyone. But Buffy said a man had attacked her. He
remembered the second message and the last attempt which had been made
on him. Of course, how did the killer know that he and Xander were
involved. How did the killer know he should be jealous of him? The only
time they had kissed was Xander's kiss on the cheek outside Giles'
house. Of course, he was staying with Xander and if the killer was
watching Xander's house he could have seen them go inside together, but
still why be jealous? It could just as easilly be that Xander was
providing a friend with a place to stay. Xander had only told Giles,
Willow, and Buffy that he was gay. He couldn't remember Xander having
told anyone else. The only reason he found out was because he had
eavesdropped on a conversation between Giles and Buffy. Let's see, Giles
also knew about the budding relationship between him and Xander. Maybe
it had been Giles, maybe Ripper missed Xander. After all, the only time
he saw Xander these days was when they would have a meeting at his
house. But surely Buffy would have recognised Giles if he was peering
through the bar windows. Even with just a glimpse she would have known.
"Bloody Hell!" Spike said aloud as he turned to run home.
The only one who had seen the killer had been Buffy. She had said it was
a man. She knew about his relationship with Xander. What better cover
for herself than to say she was attacked by a man to shift suspicion
from herself. Every time the killer had been around Xander she was also
there. Outside the bar, when the killer supposedly had attacked Buffy,
and
the time the killer had thrown a knife at him, when moments later Buffy
had showed up. And now he had left Xander alone with her.
He ran as fast as he could and as he entered the house he quickly headed
for the basement. He heard Buffy yell at Xander, so he decided to
quietly
sneak towards the door. As he opened the door a little he would wait for
an opportunity to free Xander. As he looked in he could see Xander
sitting on the floor. He had his back to the far wall and Buffy was
pacing in front of him. She was waving a knife about.
"You were my friend, remember when that spell had been cast on me, and I
came on to you? You were so nice to me. You didn't take advantage of me.
I can now see how good we'd be together. I didn't realise how good until
you said you were gay. That wasn't a funny joke Xander. You're not gay,
remember when I could read minds? You thought about me naked."
"I'm was a teenage boy with raging hormones. I thought of everyone
naked."
"Don't say that! Don't diminish what we have. I killed for you. I proved
how much I want you, how much I love you."
"What about Angel?" Xander tried.
"That would never work. You see Xander, relationships between mortals
and
vampires are doomed. Vampires are immoral. They'd kill us all if they
could. Angel could turn back to his own self so easily. I see vampires
almost every night after all. They're soulless killers."
"That isn't true, Spike..." Buffy crouched down to Xander and pointed
the
knife at him.
**If I go in now there's no way I can get that knife away from Xander in
time. Hold on luv, keep her talking. Distract her enough so that I can
help you.**
"Spike is nothing. He's a vampire. If it wasn't for that chip he would
kill you. The only reason he's with you is because it amuses him. He
probably wants you to let him drink from you. That's why he's with you,
because he wants you to give him your blood voluntarily."
As Buffy drew back up again, Spike rushed into the room. He knocked the
knife out of her hand, but Buffy quickly threw him off of her. Xander
got
up from the floor, but Spike said "Stay back Xander, don't let her hurt
you."
"Me hurt Xander? I wouldn't hurt him. You'll hurt him. That's what you
do. You're a vampire. You're not good enough for Xander."
"Let me guess, only you are good enough for him?" Spike snarled and
attacked Buffy.
Buffy quickly deflected him and he went soaring to the floor once more.
As he reached up to steady himself, Buffy laughed "Oh poor Spike, does
your head hurt? After all, you can't hurt humans, can you?"
"Buffy stop this, let us help you. You don't have to do this." Xander
tried to intervene.
Buffy looked over at Xander and shook her head. "Why are you defending
him? He's a monster."
The distraction was enough for Spike to pick up the knife and advanced
on Buffy again.
Buffy stopped his arm before he could strike against her and they
struggled for the knife.
"How can you fight me? You can't hurt me I'm human!" Buffy cried out.
"You're the chosen one, aren't you? You don't seriously consider
yourself
human. With all your strenghts?" Spike said. "You see, the chip is
programmed not to let me hurt humans, but I certainly don't consider you
human anymore. You're a bloodthirsty demon."
"Me bloodthirsty?" Buffy yelled. "You've killed more people than I can
count. I've only killed two people to prove to Xander how much I love
him!"
He couldn't show Buffy that his chip really was sending out pain. If she
saw him weakened he would surely lose the upper hand. As they continued
their struggle, Spike pushed Buffy to the floor and grabbed the knife.
As
he held the knife to her throat his head began to soar with pain. He
dropped the knife and fell to the floor clutching his head. He could
hear Buffy laughing as she picked up the knife.
"You lose Spike, Xander's mine now." Buffy raised her arm to stick the
knife into Spike.
As the knife came down on him Buffy suddenly fell over. Xander had come
up behind her and had hit her over the head with the lamp.
Xander hurried over to Spike and asked, "Are you okay?"
"I'll be fine, luv. Is Buffy coming round anytime soon?"
"I think I hit her pretty hard actually." As Xander helped Spike up from
the floor, he immediately hugged him.
"You came back for me? How did you know?" Xander asked.
"I didn't for sure. There were just too many things that didn't add up."
Spike replied, as he kissed Xander's forehead. As he trailed tiny kisses
down Xander's face, Xander said "I'm glad you did. When you were
struggling
I was so afraid for you."
"Not half as afraid as I was. I left you here alone with her, after I
promised I wouldn't leave you."
"It's not your fault Spike. Remember what you said to me how it wasn't
my fault that she killed my old friends? Neither are you to blame for
this. I love you so much." Xander sighed, as he drew close to Spike
again.
"I love you too." Spike answered, and smiled at Xander. "However, there
is
still the business of the insane unconscious slayer on the floor."
"What should we do?"
"Let's call Giles. He is her Watcher, let him deal with her." Spike
replied.
Xander called Giles, and Willow as well, and they came over immediately.
They were both shocked to say the least.
"There must be some mistake," Willow said. "Maybe somebody was
controlling her mind or something. She wouldn't hurt Xander."
"Wielding knifes in Xander's face and killing two of his friends seems
pretty persuasive to me." Spike defended himself. "She wouldn't be the
first Slayer to go rogue after all."
"I'll call the Watcher council and see if they can help us." Giles
suggested.
"Do that, just get her out of here." Xander replied.
Giles nodded his head and after a few phonecalls he had them pick Buffy
up.
"What will happen to her?" Willow asked.
"She may have broken with the Watcher's but she's still the Slayer.
They'll try her for the murders. The world needs a Slayer who will
protect the innocent. If she is found guilty they'll try to heal her and
if that's impossible..."
"What will they do then?" Xander asked.
"The world needs a sane slayer." Giles replied, the implications clear
to
them.
After everyone had left Xander quietly sat down on the bed.
"Can I help you with anything luv?" Spike asked as he sat down next to
Xander.
"No." Xander said. "Giles meant that they will kill her, didn't he?"
"I think so." Spike replied.
"She was my friend. I can't believe what has happened. It just seems so
surreal. Like I'm dreaming and am about to wake up."
"I know luv." Spike leaned over and took Xander into his arms again.
"Only you won't wake up."
"Things will never be the same again, will they?" Xander whispered.
"Sorry luv, that's impossible."
Spike held Xander close and vowed to himself to help Xander get through
this as much as he could. Only a week ago his dreams of being able to
love Xander seemed impossible. Yet here he was, holding him. So much had
happened in such a short time.
"I'll help you in any way that I can. You know that, right?" Spike
asked.
"I know. I'm so lucky to have you." Xander said, as he leaned his head
on
Spike's shoulder.
"Not half as lucky as I am to have you", said Spike and kissed Xander.
He would keep his vow to protect Xander forever and added another part
to that vow. He would also love Xander forever. He wouldn't let anyone
hurt the boy ever again.
He smiled down at Xander, who looked up at him. He could see the trust
and love the boy had for him shine in his eyes. He was definitely the
lucky one.
The end.
Epilogue
"Poor Xander, finding out one of your best friends has killed for you
and
then tried to murder you too. You must be hurting so much." Willow shook
her head sadly and continued deleting the files on her computer. "It
won't
do for them to accidently stumble on my spells for the glamour or the
mindcontrol spells."
As she finished, she picked up the picture of Oz she kept on her desk.
Slowly she traced a finger over Oz's face. "I miss you Oz. Things would
never have turned out the way they have if it wasn't for Xander. You'd
still be with me if he hadn't manipulated me into cheating on you."
She smiled and said "Don't worry, I'll get you back. I'll make Xander
pay for what he's done. One down and now two more to go."
She frowned. "I must rearrange my plans to take Spike into
consideration.
How fitting for Xander to be in love with a monster. It wouldn't be fair
not to punish him for being so happily in love with Spike." She smiled
and kissed Oz's picture. "And when you find out what I did, you'll come
back. You'll realise how much you love me." She switched of the computer
and left.
