What I Want, What He Needs
by Hallucination
It was three in the morning.
Around midnight, Giles and Buffy, exhausted from
biting each other's heads off, had finally lapsed into
"normal discussion" mode, much to everyone's relief.
And the whole Scooby Gang had been up talking since,
save Willow who was snoozing comfortably in Giles's
bedroom. It didn't matter. Everyone knew her take on
the chip. The witch with the heart of gold was
reluctantly all for removing it.
Buffy gave an exasperated sigh. " This is getting us
nowhere. Spike is drooling all over the floor and
Xander you haven't said a word all evening." She stood
up. "Giles I have to speak to you alone." Buffy
whirled around into Giles's study, leaving a
half-asleep Giles to stumble after her.
Xander and Spike were left alone.
=======================================================
Buffy fixed Giles with a piercing stare. "Giles,
please LISTEN to me. We can't trust Spike. Once that
chip is removed there will be nothing to stop him from
trying to kill all of us, and you can bet your life
that Spike will try. There's an overload of demon
activity going on in the Hellmouth that I have to deal
with everyday, and it's all I can do not to have a
nervous breakdown! There's already too much on my
shoulders, Giles, and I do not need another
distraction."
They both cringed as they heard shouting noises from
Xander and Spike. What the hell were they up to now?
Buffy began to fight tears. " I'm have to patrol every
single night now, and if Spike decides to attack you I
can't be here to protect you guys. I am NOT letting
that bastard get his bite back at the risk of your
lives Giles! If I lost you, it would break me. You
guys are my family ......"
Giles put a fatherly hand on Buffy's shoulder. "Buffy,
do you think I have not considered the dangers? That I
have not considered everything? I am fully aware of
the immense risk this action involves, but I feel that
it is our duty to do this. Sooner or later the chip
would malfunction anyway, The Initiative only used it
on Spike as a test run. Buffy, to be completely honest
with you, I think what they did to him was utterly
disgusting. It is in a vampire's nature to hunt and
kill, and to be forced away from its way of life is a
sick perversion of such magnitude that I hardly dare
to even think of it. Killing demons is a slayer's
duty, but putting them in a laboratory and
experimenting on them like they were animals is
totally inhuman. Can you understand?"
Buffy gave a defeated sigh.
=======================================================
Meanwhile......
"Whelp?"
"Stop calling me that!" Xander snapped. "Would it be
so hard to call me by my name once in a while?"
Spike blinked, wondering when the boy had become so
sensitive. Then the feeling passed, and he smirked. "
Whatever." Spike drawled. "Sissy."
A large fist connected with his nose, and Spike was
knocked to the floor. He immediately flipped himself
up and aimed a punch at Xander's jaw, but the pain
from his chip came too soon for him to do anything.
Spike yelled and knelt on the floor, hands massaging
his head.
"Bleedin' heck you arsewipe what the hell did you do
that for?" Spike demanded.
"What the hell did I do that for?" Xander repeated
disbelievingly. " I'll tell you what the hell I did
that for. You have been a fuckin' asshole ever since
you moved in with me Spike! I mean, we live together
for nearly a month and yet I still don't know the
first thing about you. All you ever do is rant and
rave about how unfair the world is, and not once have
you actually sat down and talked to me about your
issues!"
"It was bleedin' obvious what I was talkin' about-"
"That's not the point, Spike! I'm saying that you
never confided in me no matter how many times I asked
you what was wrong. I tried to be understanding, but I
have had enough of your shit. You don't just invite
people into your problems and then hurt them by
turning them away after you've got their attention!
And, And , you've been messing with my mind!"
Spike's eyes narrowed." What the hell -"
" Don't even try to deny it. I mean, what the hell are
you, schizophrenic? Or do you use acting a weapon to
mask your emotions?Remember two days ago? You were a
manically depressed vampire living in fear and on that
same night you turned into this happy sweetheart of a
guy and NOW you're acting just like the jerk you
always were and I can't take it anymore!"
Xander collapsed onto the couch. " I don't know who
the hell you really are." He said quietly. "But for
what it's worth, I hope the person I was with that
night under the stars was the real you."
Spike looked at him, his eyes brimming over with
barely suppressed venom." And you are choosing THIS
moment to tell me everything because?"
But I haven't told you everything!, Xander wanted to
say.
He only looked at him sadly. "Because soon you'll be
gone and I'll never see you again."
There was no reply.
=======================================================
Buffy and Giles came back into the room a minute
later.
"Spike," Giles said firmly, "We have decided to go
through with the removal of the chip."
"Alright."
Giles was surprised. He'd expected nothing less than a
yell of triumph from the blonde vampire, but Spike had
barely responded at all.
Buffy crossed her arms. "Gee, Spike. You seem a lot
less enthused than before, I guess we'll forget all
about it then?"
Spike looked at Xander.
Xander refused to meet his eyes.
"No way," Spike said softly. " I ......I want to do this."
"Well you sure don't sound like it Spikey." Buffy
smirked, but inside she was confused about the
vampire's sudden hesitancy. Wasn't this what Spike
wanted?
"Bloody hell slayer will you stop gettin' on me
nerves! I said I wanted to do it and I mean exactly
what I say!"
Buffy searched Giles for help, but he just shrugged
his shoulders tiredly.
Buffy decided to let it drop, after all it wasn't her
business. But her friends were. She leaned over Spike
and spoke to him menacingly " I want you to know that
after this whole chip business is over, I will forget
about you and never think of you again. But if you
EVER lay a hand on one of my friends, I will stake you
and leave your ashes to burn in holy water as quick as
you can say * bite me*, do you understand?"
A look of hurt flashed across Spike's face, quickly to
be replaced by a sneer. " I understand." He spat out.
"Good." Buffy stepped back, satisfied.
Giles rubbed at his eyes wearily. " I think we've been
up long enough. Tomorrow is Saturday so why don't we
all try and get some sleep? Spike, I'll talk to you
about the operation procedure tomorrow."
Spike nodded and got up, but he let Buffy and Xander
walk out the door first. There was something he needed
to say.
"Watcher."
"Your welcome, Spike."
Spike smiled a little. " I can actually say the words
you know."
" Just thought I'd make it easier for you." Giles
smiled back, just a little."Good night, Spike."
Spike turned on his heels to leave, and was actually
shutting the door when he suddenly heard Giles call
him back.
"Spike?"
His head popped in curiously.
Giles hesitated. " This is....this IS what you want
isn't it?"
"No."
"Then why-"
"Because it's what I need." Spike stated.
Giles nodded in understanding.
And the door closed.
End Part 5
