Tarot 
by Hallucination 

Well this is just ducky, Xander reflected stupidly. 
Things had sure gone downhill since their last sexual 
encounter with games. Less than an hour with the 
insufferable vampire and he could already feel his 
brain cells being shredded into ribbons. Being with a 
buttmunch like Spike could do that to a person. Xander 
hadn’t spoken a smart thing since Spike had waltzed 
into the room ten minutes ago, pack of cards in hand. 

Ten minutes ago, he was bored to death. So was Spike. 
They were both bored to death. But they weren’t being 
bored together, which was the silver lining in the 
whole cloud of Blahdom. Yep, he still didn’t like 
spending too much time with him. There was only so 
much Twister could do. Anyway Xander knew it couldn’t 
last. As if on cue a loud slamming of doors ensued, 
and who should appear out of nowhere but that 
obnoxious vampire, all twinkling eyes and swishing 
coat. 

“Prepare to be astounded,” Spike had announced 
dramatically, “By the awesome skill of the world's 
most renowned fortune teller, William The Bloody!” 

“Really?!” 

“No, but I thought I'd give it a shot. Tell your 
fortune?” 

And that, was how Xander came to be sitting across the 
table from an over-excited vampire. An over-excited 
vampire who had made no attempt to read Xander’s 
fortune, but had instead chose to read his own two 
times over. An over-excited vampire who was currently 
shuffling cards like there was no tomorrow. Xander 
wished he would stop. It was making a horrible sound, 
like the kind bees made when they whizzed past your 
ear. 

Boredom, meet Irritation. I’m sure you’ll get along 
famously. 

God, he missed just being bored. 

Suddenly, Spike gave a little yelp and smacked the 
cards down on the table. 

Oh thank God he’s finally stopped, Xander thought 
gratefully. I knew he’d stop that obnoxious shuffling 
sooner or later. 

“Of course you did you idiot, you’re crushing my 
foot.” Spike informed him hotly. Oh. Xander removed 
his punishing foot with a sheepish grin. “Sorry.” Good 
foot, Xander praised silently. Good, good foot. Daddy 
will give you a nice rub for stopping Spike. 

Spike nursed his swollen foot for a moment before 
reaching for his cards again. Xander’s hands 
immediately smacked down on Spike’s, effectively 
preventing any annoying shuffling action. 

“Spike, you said you could alleviate my boredom.” 
Xander said slowly, as if talking to a retarded child. 
“I. Am. Still. Bored.” 

“Wanker.” Spike snorted before thrusting Xander’s 
hands off his own. “Well, if I must, I must.” He 
proceeded to shuffle the cards again, making Xander 
wince. “I’ll tell you who you were in a past life 
alright?” 

Xander perked up a little as Spike splayed out seven 
cards within his palm. He’d always wanted to know who 
he’d been in a previous life. His heart sped up as he 
ruminated upon the endless possibilities. Alexander 
the Great, Hercules, Julius Caesar- 

“A spring roll.” Spike announced. 

Xander’s heart had still been beating before this 
stupid game. What the hell did Spike mean, a fucking 
spring roll? 

“What the hell do you mean, a fucking spring roll!!” 
Xander burst out. 

Spike sighed in irritation. “You were a spring roll in 
a Chinese restaurant.” He repeated impatiently. “Extra 
crispy. A delectable, finger licking good-” 

“Don’t say it!” Xander held up a warning finger. 
“Don’t say it, or I’ll kick your ass straight into 
next week before you can say-” 

“Deep fat fry?” 

“AAARGHH!” Xander banged the table in frustration as 
Spike bit his lip to keep from laughing. “Forget it.” 
Xander announced as calmly as he could. “You’re evil. 
Why should I believe anything you tell me?” 

Spike shrugged. “Hey, don’t argue with the cards. It’s 
not my fault you were a -” 

“I’m warning you, Spike.” Xander gave Spike the evil 
eye. Suddenly something occurred to him, and he made a 
wild grab for the cards. 

“OI!” Spike quickly snatched them out of his grip. 
“Let me see those cards!” Xander insisted. “You’re a 
fake, I know it! This whole thing is a crock!” He 
tried to reach across the table, but Spike pushed his 
chair back several centimetres, waving the cards in 
the air indignantly. “I am not a fake! And these cards 
are genuine tarot cards, no doubt about it!” 

Xander put his hands on his hips, too lazy to go 
around the table and have it out with the annoying 
Fangless one. “Fine. If your cards are so goddamn 
powerful, tell me about my family and childhood life.” 

Xander could’ve sworn he saw Spike gulp. “Errr-right.” 
Spike cleared his throat, rearranging the cards around 
a bit. It all looked very suspicious to Xander, who 
was watching with narrowed eyes. He’d get the vampire 
yet. 

Ignoring the boy, Spike looked at the cards displayed 
before him with uncertainty. How did he get himself 
into these situations? Still, the great fortune-teller 
had to go on. He closed his eyes and concentrated. 
“Family life, family life…hold on I’m getting 
something…I’m getting something…you…either had a 
brother or a sister…or youwereanonlychild.” Spike 
finished lamely. 

“No shit, Sherlock. Give me those cards.” 

“Nonono wait wait!” Spike yelped, racking his brain. 
“And… you were…you want…” Say something, bloody hell! 
Something, anything! 

And congratulations to him, he actually saw a 
solution. Which actually was the slight bulge in 
Xander’s jeans. Salvation, here comes Spike. 

And Little Spike. 

He set the cards down on the table, smiling 
seductively as he walked towards Xander. “I don’t need 
tarot cards to tell me what you want, nummy.” Oh, 
give me a whorehouse and call me Slutty! Did I 
actually say that? 

Xander scowled back at him, oblivious to the horrible 
pick up line and determined not to let Spike sway him. 
“No way, Spike. I know what you’re trying to do and 
there’s no way you’re gonna use sex to weasel your way 
outta this one ohhhhwowwwwwwwwohwowohwoww…” 

Spike gave a feral grin as he massaged Xander cock 
through his tight jeans. The boy had a kink, all 
right. Loved it with his clothes on. Fine, he’d let 
the boy have his way for a while. 

And then Spike would show him the big guns. 

“Watch me.” Spike instructed, not stopping for a 
second. Xander’s eyes immediately lowered to Spike’s 
hand, his hips thrusting as he watched Spike knead his 
heated flesh through his clothes. They stood that way, 
without any other part of their bodies touching except 
for Spike’s hand on Xander’s dick. And the fact Xander 
was watching himself get his rocks off only made him 
hornier. Spike’s hand pressed against Xander’s cock, 
rubbing harder and harder. Circling and pushing 
against it. Xander began to make little breathy 
noises, his body arching towards Spike’s hand. 

“Still care about tarot cards, luv?” Spike teased as 
he continued his ministrations. 

Xander bucked into his grip, his body twisting in 
pleasure. “Tarot?” He breathed. “Tarot who?” 

“Never mind.” Spike snickered. Playtime with clothes 
was almost up, time to get to the grand finale. He got 
onto his knees and pushed his tongue against Xander’s 
pulsing organ. Xander moaned as Spike slowly pulled 
down the zipper of his jeans while sucking his nipple 
at the same time. 

“Nice.” *lick* “And hard.” *suck* Spike sucked on 
Xander’s nipple loudly, making sure the boy could hear 
it, the swirl of his tongue around the peak, the moan 
as he bit down gently. Pants now off, Spike removed 
his mouth from Xander’s nipple, getting back on his 
knees. Wasting no time, he immediately clamped his 
lips around Xander’s purpling cock and sucked almost 
hard enough to cause pain, his hands tugging on 
Xander’s balls. Xander went half crazy with lust and 
fucked Spike’s face brutally as his groans echoed off 
the basement wall. “Goood, so fucking good Spike!” 
Xander moaned as he thrust faster and faster, 
desperate for the need to cum. It was at this precise 
moment that Spike pulled away slightly. “What do you 
want?” He growled. 

Xander rotated his hips in frustration, only the tip 
of his cock in Spike’s mouth. He was close, so 
close…“I want…” He let out a yell of ecstasy as Spike 
bit down on his cock. Xander was going to be blunt. “I 
want to cum. Make me cum, I need to cum. Please…” 
Xander nearly reached for his own cock but Spike’s 
talented mouth suddenly took all of him in again. That 
was all he needed. “Fuck!” Xander cursed as he came in 
hot spurts down Spike’s throat. Spike sucked on 
Xander’s dick greedily, swallowing everything down. 
Yep, he’d made Xander forget everything alright. After 
a few moments Xander gently pulled the vampire up to 
face him. “You’re still a fake.” He murmured 
teasingly. “But you’ve been a great help.” 

“I’m not, and no problem. Let’s go to bed, hmm?” Spike 
wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, and within seconds 
they were kissing and groping each other shamefully. 

Thank God for distractions, Spike thought as he sucked 
on Xander’s lower lip. He had business to take care 
of, but that could wait. Right now he had another 
problem to take care of. 

Tomorrow he’d throw away the Pokemon collector cards. 


end.