Fall Away
by Hallucination
Spike was gazing at the stars.
William The Bloody, destroyer of nations, was sitting
under a tree stargazing. Spike resisted the urge to
chuckle at the absurdity of the idea. Two centuries
ago, moments such as these had been solely reserved
for Angelus and Dru. Even as a demon, his sire had
been brought to his knees when he came face to face
with the wondrous works of nature, but Spike had been
unable to grasp what on earth they saw in burning
balls of pure gas. Many a time he'd scoffed in their
faces when they'd invited him out to the balcony to
enjoy the ebony sky. Thinking back, Spike wished he
had spent just that little bit more time with them. It
could have made a difference in all of their lives, to
have that beautiful memory etched in their minds. Now
Angelus and Dru were both gone, and memories were all
Spike had left of them. But they all told of merriment
and revelry, and so it made him happy to think of
them.
// A wind chime voice sound, Sway of your hips round
rings true//
"Twinkle twinkle little star......" Spike hummed under his
breath. " How I wonder what you are..Up above the
world so high..like a diamond....in ...the.....sky..."
His voice faded away with a languid sigh. My black
goddess's favourite nursery rhyme, he recalled. Dru
loved to sing it, she'd sing it all the way through
the night, dancing around in her rose garden under the
stars. Spike had hated the song. Hated hearing it
being repeated endlessly, over and over again. One
night he'd lost his temper and yelled at Dru to "BLOOD
SHUT UP!!!!"
Spike cringed as he remembered her tear filled eyes
begging him not to scream at her. " It makes my heart
crumble," she had whimpered. Why hadn't he just let
her sing? It made her happy, and that was what
counted. She could hear music in the stars.
//These secret garden beams, Changed my life so it
seems//
Spike tore his thoughts away from his past and let his
gaze fall upon the stars again. His heart caught in
his throat as he saw a shooting star paint the sky
with silver streaks. He finally understood the beauty
Angelus and Drusilla saw in the stars, they were truly
magnificent. A million of the purest jewels twinkling
with laughter at the people of the world, for the
stars were so much higher above them......no other glint
and glitter could ever compare to their elegance.
Spike suddenly wished he could share this vision with
someone.
" Spike?"
Oh no, Spike groaned inwardly. He recognised that
voice. It suddenly occurred to him that he hadn't seen
this person for almost a whole day. Spike gritted his
teeth and seethed. I don't need this. Not now. Not
ever. He whirled around angrily, and looked up into
the face of -
" Xander?" Spike choked incredulously.
The boy's eyes were bloodshot and more than a little
swollen. His face was wan and pale, and it didn't take
a genius to figure out why. The events of that morning
came crashing back to Spike, and the guilt that
followed was so strong he could hardly breathe.
//And I'd say that I'm sorry to you I'm sorry to you//
GUILT? Spike slapped himself mentally. No no no no NO.
You do not do guilt. You do hatred and pain and
torture. You feed on the sadness of others. You are
the Big Bad, and you don't give a damn about the
feelings of oth-
" I'm sorry." The words just flew out of his mouth,
and it was too late for regrets now. Xander stared at
him disbelievingly. The words didn't seem to register.
Spike didn't expect them to. He had never apologized
before. They were both new to this.
//When we met, light was shed. Thoughts free flow you
said.....//
He took a deep breath and continued, looking straight
up into Xander's eyes. " You didn't deserve to get
yelled at, and I know how it feels to be on the
receiving end of getting something you don't deserve.
It burns like hellfire, right down to your very
essence, and every part of you screams *unfair*. So
I'm sorry.....for shouting at you.....and saying those
things......I know you were merely concerned." Spike
closed his eyes. Oh god, a mortal concerned over
William The Bloody. He really was pathetic. He opened
his eyes slowly.
Xander was still staring at him dumbly.
Spike burst out in laughter. " You in shock, mate?"
A small smile formed on Xander's lips." I don't think
_yes_ is a strong enough word." Spike continued to
chuckle lightly.
Xander cocked his head to one side." I've never heard
you speak that way before." He admitted softly.
" Oh yeah?" Spike challenged." And just how do I
usually speak, peaches?"
" Well...." Xander grinned mischeviously, wiping at his
eyes with his sleeve. " You usually talk like a
spoiled brat. It's always *bloody this* and *bloody
that* and *get off your filthy arse you tosser!*", He
mimicked, sounding exactly like Spike. The boy had a
surprisingly good British accent. Spike was reduced
to laughter once again. Xander looked pleased for a
while, and then he became serious. " I've just never
heard you put so much thought and feeling into your
words before."
Spike gave a sad smile. " Sometimes we're forced to
grow up, mate."
" I understand." Xander said immediately.
//I live to be deep inside of you//
Spike looked up sharply. Xander's eyes were bright and
true, with no hint of pretense or doubt. Comprehension
and empathy radiated from within his brown orbs, and
Spike knew at once that he was not lying.
" Yes." Spike said softly, in wonder. " You do."
"May I sit with you?" Xander asked hesitantly, fearing
the peroxide blonde's response.
//And I'd know what to do if I just knew what's
coming//
Spike smiled, suddenly feeling as if a weight had been
lifted from his shoulders. " Of course, pet." He
replied, moving over to make room.
//my thoughts are warm and they go deep inside of
you//
And so the vampire and the mortal sat side by side,
eyes closed, revelling in the power of the beauty of
the night, bathing in the cool wind that caressed
their faces, and listening to the crickets sing a song
of twinkling diamonds in the sky.
End pt 3
