Huh? 
by Danii 

William the Bloody, known to most as Spike at the 
time, had decided something. 

It wasn't the most earth-shattering of decisions. It 
didn't effect the lives of all that many people, it 
didn't END the lives of anyone (a novelty for him), 
and it didn't involve any sharp objects. 

No, Spike had decided that he was going to have a 
little discussion with a young man by the name of 
Xander Harris. 

The whole thing had started roughly three weeks ago 
when Xander had been dumped by an ex-demoness named 
Anya, who had then proceeded to run away with a Chaos 
demon to Las Vegas. Now, at first, Spike had felt 
pity for the young man. He knew that kind of pain 
rather well...and it made him wonder what the hell was 
so wonderful about Chaos demons. But besides, that he 
had felt concern for the boy. Concern and something 
else that he still didn't exactly feel comfortable 
thinking about. 

The discomfort had nothing to do with the fact that 
Xander was a GUY. Goodness knows that he'd gotten 
over THAT little sexual bump decades ago. But the 
fact that it was Xander. Xander Harris. Donut-boy 
and lackey to the Slayer herself. Xander Harris who, 
as far as he knew, was as straight as...something very 
straight. 

But Spike was the kind of person (or non-person) who 
liked to meet his troubles head on...at least when 
they couldn't kill him. So he'd decided that he was 
going to have a talk with Xander in the SLIM chance 
that the boy might feel something for him, even if 
there had been nothing like that shown during the time 
they had been forced room mates. 

His only hope lay in the fact that he had been just 
dumped, that he seemed confused in many ways, and that 
he sometimes got this look in his eyes when he glanced 
at Spike. 

So with very thin hope and a stubborn set to his 
features, Spike knocked on the door of Xander's 
apartment. 

Which opened a second later to reveal Alexander 
LaVelle Harris in all his construction-worker glory. 

Spike had to keep himself from gasping (and had to 
hide another member's reaction with a swish of his 
coat) at the sight of the young man. His thoughts 
already on Xander, the sight of the other man shining 
with sweat and wearing nothing but jeans and a dirty 
t-shirt set him off in all sorts of confusing places. 
But luckily, Xander seemed too tired to notice. 

"What's up, Spike?" the young man asked tiredly, "Are 
you here to strip me naked and ride me until the sun 
sets?" 

This shocked the blonde vampire even worse, but he 
knew that he COULDN'T have heard what he thought he 
did. So, cooling down to his normal level of suave, 
Spike asked, "What?" 

"I said," Xander repeated with annoyance, "Are you 
here to strip down my apartment and bother me until 
the sun sets? 

Oh...came Spike's mental reply, THAT's what he said. 

"Well?" the young man asked again, getting more 
annoyed by the minute. 

"Uh..." the vampire stammered, "I just came to talk is 
all..." 

Xander rolled his eyes at this remark, then ushered 
the already-invited vampire into his home. 
"Fine...but don't be surprised if I pull you into the 
shower with me..." 

"Huh?" Spike said, stopping in his tracks halfway 
through the door. 

Xander gave him a look, then started to make his way 
to the bathroom. "Jeez, are you deaf? I said not to 
be surprised if I take a long time in the shower, bear 
with me..." 

The bleached blonde vampire, in something between 
relief and disappointment, nodded, then watched as the 
young man made his way into the shower. Unfortunately 
for Spike, Xander had closed the bathroom door behind 
him, so he didn't get a free show. But Spike was 
almost glad he didn't, because otherwise Xander might 
have come out to see Spike desperately putting on a 
pair of the boy's pants to cover his own. 

So Spike, still confused, waited the five minutes for 
Xander to finish his shower, then got to see the 
rather nummy sight of the young man wearing nothing 
but a towel on his muscular figure. That figure that 
was nearly making Spike drool. That figure that 
was...looking at him heatedly and talking to him. 

-if you don't mind." was all Spike got of what the 
young man had said. 

"Huh?" the vampire said again, feeling like the 
biggest dullard in the entire planet. 

"I said, if we want to have any fun, we'll need to get 
to the bedroom..." 

Now Spike's eyes went wide in disbelief. "WHAT?" 

But Xander just looked at him with irritation. "That 
chip must be making you deaf, blondie! I asked if you 
could turn the other way since I haven't put a door in 
for the bedroom..." 

Spike, in pure shock, just watched as Xander walked 
into his bedroom, then stiffly turned around as the 
young man had asked him too. 

What was wrong with him? What was wrong with his 
hearing tonight? Why did he keep hearing all of those 
wonderful...er, stranger...er, wrong things? He was a 
bloody vampire! He was supposed to have some of the 
best hearing available, and then THIS! What was wrong 
with him tonight? He knew that he was a bit fixated 
on the young man, but this was getting ridiculous! 

A few minutes later, Xander walked out wearing a 
fitting blue sweater (which Spike appreciated greatly) 
and a pair of baggy jeans (which the vampire didn't 
like NEARLY so much). But at least the young man was 
now clothed normally, and maybe now Spike could start 
hearing correctly. 

"So, Spike, what did you want to talk about exactly?" 
the young man asked as he sat down on the couch 
opposite the one Spike was sitting on. 

"Er..." 

"It couldn't be the fact that you want me in the sack 
or anything?" 

"WHAT?" 

"You don't want to discuss the Packers or anything, 
right?" 

"Uh..." Spike answered unsurely as he shook his head, 
"No." 

Then Xander got an inquisitive look on his face. 
"There's nothing wrong with you, is there? Other then 
the obvious wanting-my-cock thing?" 

"Urg..." was all the blonde could get out. 

"Damn, but there must be something wrong in that 
chip-in-your-block..." 

"Aggh..." 

"Do you want to shag me till I scream?" 

"Ahhh..." 

"So you don't like blood mixed with ice cream..." 

"Urgk..." 

"How about we try something fun...just me and you...or 
do you want to watch?" 

There was a pause. 

"YES!" Spike finally screamed 

Which earned him a strange look from Xander. 

"'Yes' what? Is there something wrong with your chip, 
do you want to help pillage my supply of ice cream, or 
should I just make something for myself and eat it 
while you watch? Yes WHAT?" 

And it was at this point that Spike, close to going 
mad for various reasons, ran screaming out of Xander's 
apartment. The young man followed till he got to the 
door and shouted out: 

"Spike? Spike? Are you okay?" 

Then, when he received no answer, the dark-haired 
young man closed the door and sat down on the couch 
with a smile on his face. 

"Well, that was fun..." he said to himself, thinking 
over the entire twenty minutes he'd spent with the 
luscious blonde vampire. The blonde vampire he'd had 
designs on since the chip had made him non-homicidal. 
The blonde vampire who'd thought he was the only one 
who knew how to play head-games. 

"I just hope it gave him a few things to think 
about..." 

Xander smiled. 

"Fun things..." 

The End