All Hallows Eve
By Danii

Xander peered over his blankets to find a rather 
intriguing site. Spike, sitting in all his rather frustrated looking glory on his couch.
"What are you doing here?" the young man asked, not entirely against the idea of the vampire staying. He just wanted to know what the hell the blonde was doing there in the first place. Xander figured that if he was just stealing the stereo, Spike would have been gone already.
"If you don't mind, not that I give a damn anyway, I'll be stayin' at your spot tonight, pet..." the vampire answered, trying his hardest to sound nonchalant and failing miserably. Xander might not know much, but he did know Spike, and the blonde was upset about something. But it did give him a satisfied little tingle (that some parts of his mind tried to ignore) that the vampire had come to him in the time of need.
"Why?" Xander asked, his voice filled with concern and just a touch of sarcasm. Well, as much as he didn't mind, he didn't really want Spike to know that. He didn't want to look easy.
#Okay, where the hell did that thought come from?# the young man thought to himself as he pulled his body out of the bed. 
"It's 'alloween night..." Spike answered, as if it was the simplest thing in the world, "An' tomorrow is All Soul's Day..."
"Okay..." 
Spike rolled his eyes at the mortal. Didn't that 
damned Watcher teach them anything? He couldn't believe this. But the bleached vampire did sort of like the confused expression on Xander's sleepy face. It made him look all snuggly and-
##Okay, where the 'ell did that thought come from?# the vampire asked himself as he got out of the chair to explain.
"All right..." Spike said out loud at last, his voice filled with aggravation he didn't really feel that strongly, "Ya know that on 'alloween an' All Soul's Day, the barrier between the natural world an' the supernatural world is ratha' thin..."
"Yeah." 
"Well," the bleached vampire continued, "That would be the problem, ya see. That's why all the nasties and ghoulies stay in on that night. Cause the barrier's thin."
Xander sighed. He had no idea where Spike was going with this, and it was bothering him. He'd gotten out of his comfortable bed (which he'd intended on staying in for a good long time) and now all he wanted to do was cuddle with-
#All right, brain...shut the hell up before you get me in trouble...#
"What?" Xander asked, realizing he'd missed a sentence or two of explanation. The question got him another roll of the blue eyes.
"I said...when the barrier's thin, the souls of the dead can come more easily...an' they're stronger..." Spike finished with a slight shiver. Xander raised an eyebrow. He didn't think anything would give the bleached blonde a chill like that. 
"And why does this have anything to do with you 
staying in my house for Halloween?" Xander as he thought to himself that Spike staying over wasn't necessarily a bad thing.
"Because, you bloody twit, I've killed more people than you've killed insects!" Spike shouted angrily. Why didn't the boy understand!? "An' they aren't exactly happy about the fact that I ended their lives for them...get it now?"
"Yeah, I do..." Xander answered, his face more accepting than Spike had thought it would be. In fact, it looked positively inviting. "I get it."
"I mean, I wouldn't mind it..." Spike said, sounding nothing like the bravado-filled vampire he normally was, "But they have this...look in their eyes. Like...not mad, but sad. Sad as all hell, but with this...this pity. And I don't want pity! I get enough of that as is. But I never could stand it. I never could stand the way they looked, even if they didn't do anything to me.
"And then there were the angry ones. The ones who want to hurt me. I supposed, logically, they're the ones I'm avoiding, but I gotta' say they don't bother me as much as the sad ones."
There was a pause. 
"I just...I just don't like going out on 'alloween...I mean, that 'alloween a year or two ago, that spell thing held the spirits in check, but normally...I stay in. I would have stayed in my crypt, but it's in the cemetery, if you get my meanin'. So I came here. You aren't gonna' kick me out, are you?"
"I understand, Spike." 
"What?" 
"I get it..." 
"Okay..." he answered, sounding rather baffled. 
"And you can say here with me all day and all night if you want..." Xander said, his voice sounding rather gentle. Spike was completely baffled. Why was the boy being kind to him? And what was that note in the young brunette's tone that told him that he understood? And why was Spike liking the idea of staying more and more, even without considering the spirits...
"Thanks..." Spike said, his voice betraying his 
surprise. 
Xander smiled that small, understanding smile that made something within the vampire warm up.
"No problem, man..." he said softly, "I know the 
feeling...the need for a safe haven..."
There was a pause, and then Xander got back into his rather sloppily made bed. 
"Really?" Spike asked, his voice just as soft as 
Xander's had been, "How?"
Another silence came upon the basement, and Spike 
watched as the young man debated in his mind whether or not to tell the blonde vampire all. Well, it wasn't as if his friends didn't know (not that they'd done anything about it). But he couldn't complain about that. He'd done a rather good job discouraging any inquiry about his home life. #But#, a little voice in his mind complained, #they didn't really try all that hard, did they, Xandman?#
Just as Spike was going to ask again, Xander spoke. 
"I used to go to Willow's when I was little. That was my haven. The haven I had from my parents. From the fighting, and the hatred, and the booze. The place where there wasn't anyone attacking me...where there wasn't the smell of alcohol on everything...where I could just be safe...
"Then, when I got older, I couldn't go to Willow. It wasn't allowed any more. She was a young woman, and I was a young man...and I just couldn't go there anymore. So, I started to go to Jesse's house."
The young man's brown eyes looked into Spike's blue ones, telling him things the vampire had never wanted to know about the boy, no man, before him. Painful things, hurtful things, scarring things...things he wished he could kill for. 
"That became my haven. It became my safe house...the place where nothing bad would ever happened, because it was home. I mean, you have no idea what kind of security it gives me to know that vampires can't get into your house without an invite. My home...it wasn't the most secure place. It was horrible. But Willow's house...and Jesse's house...they were safe. It was like, as long as I was there, nothing bad could happen. As long as...as long as Jesse and Willow were with me, I was home..."
Spike didn't hear any crying noises or any sniffles, but he did see the small, translucent tear run down the young man's face. 
"You never met Jesse..." Xander said, his voice 
composed, "That would be because he died. That bitch Darla turned him...and then, in the middle of a fight, he was pushed onto a stake. A stake that I was holding..."
There was silence, as if Xander was trying to figure out his next words.
"I killed my home. I killed my haven..." he said at last, "With one stupid Xander-move, I dusted the only home I could go to. The place where my heart was..."
Oh, dear, Spike thought. This is a side of the whelp I never thought of. He isn't just talkin' of a home...he's talkin' like it was love. Like more than friends love. But could that be true? Could the dark-haired Slayerette be- Spike couldn't even think the word. He didn't want to get his hopes up.
#Me hopes up?# Spike shouted at one of his little 
voices, #Don't tell me I like the boy like that!#
But as the vampire watched the brunette sitting in the bed, looking so sad and alone, he admitted the truth to himself. He like the boy. He more than liked the boy. He enjoyed the kid's sense of humor...his will to fight...his love of fun...his strange view of the world...his fine round ass...
#Oh bum...# he thought to himself, #I've gone and 
fallen, haven't I?#
Another look to the bed. 
#Damn# 
"So, this Jesse...he was your friend?" 
"More than a friend..." Xander said quietly, his 
emotions under tight control now, "A home. A resting place of my heart...more even than with Willow..."
"Well..." the vampire said, moving slowly towards the bed, "Have you really found a new place for your heart to rest yet? A new haven?"
"No..." he admitted sadly, "Though I've gone through a whole bunch of candidates." He gave a small chuckle. "Never right though..."
"Well..." Spike repeated as he slipped off his pants, revealing the black boxers underneath, "Do you think that...just for tonight...we could both find a haven? Just for tonight, you understand..."
Xander smiled widely for the first time that night. He knew where things were, and where they were going, and for some reason that delighted Spike to no end, he didn't mind. He gave a nod, at which point Spike slid into the bed.
There was a silence as the two adjusted themselves so that they were just touching each other in the right way. 
"The ex-demon bitch won't be comin' around here 
botherin' us, will she?" Spike asked at last.
Xander gave out a short barking laugh. "No...she's 
scared of tonight as well. Probably more than you. Remember, she's killed and mutilated lots more than even you have."
"Yeah." 
There was another pause, and a slight sound of 
movement from the bed.
"That feel good?" 
"Fine." 
"Like home?" 
"Close..." 
"At the door?" 
"At the door. And maybe further. Maybe, just maybe-" 
"What, pet?" 
"Maybe, I've found a new home..." 
There was a pause as the boxer-clad vampire thought about that for a moment.
"Maybe you have, pet. And maybe, I've found a haven for more than All 'allow's Eve..."
"Yeah, just maybe." 
"Yeah. 
*******

The End