Forever Doesn't Mean Forever
By Acid Raine

A few weeks had passed. Xander and Spike had fallen into a comfortable 
routine of Xander heading off to work and/or scooby gang meetings at around 
eight every night and returning later, followed by much cuddling and always 
falling asleep in each other's arms. Spike, true to his word had never tried 
to push him farther than that. Xander's late hours permitted him to spend 
most of the day alone in his basement with Spike, a situation that they were 
both enjoying immensely. The rest of the scooby gang hadn't really noticed 
Xander's absence or his sudden contentment, but that was fairly 
characteristic of them. Breaking up with Anya had *not* been fun. It's not 
easy explaining to someone who doesn't understand the differences between 
various human emotions that they didn't care about each other and were only 
interested in sex. Well, that was all over and done with.

Now, the boy and the vampire were lying tangled on his bed. Spike reading 
one of his many remaining magazines and Xander deep in thought. Spike 
was....complicated. There were so many things about him that Xander wanted 
to know but was too afraid to ask. He looked over at the vampire's angular 
face and smiled to himself. He never would have dreamed that someone that 
beautiful could ever be interested in him. He rested his forehead against 
Spike's shoulder.

"Spike?" he said softly, "could I ask you something?"
"Sure pet," Spike replied without looking up.
"Would you turn me? I mean if you could?"
"In a second."
Xander tensed at the blunt reply. Spike looked up from him magazine. "I 
guess that's not what you wanted to hear?"
"No," Xander said with a sheepish smile. "I wanted an honest answer, just 
didn't brace myself for it, that's all."
Despite the explanation, the boy didn't relax. Spike moved so that he was 
effectively sitting in Xander's lap and caught his eye. His gaze was so 
intense that Xander couldn't look away.
"Well would you change me Xander?"
"What?" he exclaimed in surprise.
"Would you change me? If you could," Spike said. "If you could make me a 
puppy, no more evil vampire, would you?"
Xander looked away.
"Even if I didn't want you to?"
The boy still didn't reply. Spike gently touched his face. "Is that 
different?"
"Isn't it?" Xander said softly. "I mean, alter your personality or alter my 
species. That strikes me as *very* different."
Spike nodded. "S'pose it is luv," Spike sighed and took Xander's hand. He 
gently ran him thumb along the back of it before continuing. "But you 
understand why I want to don't you pet? I want to make you like me. I want 
you to be with me forever, can't have you growing old."
Xander pushed him off and got off the bed. He paced back and forth as he 
spoke, trying very hard not to start yelling. "Forever's a long time for me 
Spike remember?! Christ I was with Anya for eight months and that's the 
longest relationship I've ever had! Don't talk to me about forever!"
Spike ran his hand uncomfortably through his hair. "Time is different for 
vampires. Forever doesn't mean *forever* exactly." He shrugged. "I guess 
since forever's a possibility it seems different to say it....sorry."
"'S okay," Xander said. He walked back to the bed and crawled back into 
Spike's embrace. It was so strange. No matter how much the vampire freaked 
him out, he never felt better than when he was in his arms.
"Wouldn't I be different?" he asked suddenly. "Like if you turned me? I 
mean.....do you want me to be different?" he was mildly disgusted him 
himself for the pleading tone that had taken over his voice.
"No, I don't want you to be different." Spike said gruffly, nuzzling 
Xander's neck, surprising the boy a bit. He tried very hard not to grin. 
"You wouldn't change that much. You'd have a demon, but you'd still be 
basically the same person."
"But Angel and Angelus.....*not* the same person."
"No," Spike agreed. "Angelus is a great deal more fun. Anyway, the pouff's 
been caught up in his world of broody self-loathing for centuries now. The 
original Angel was not nearly that depressing a bloke."
"So the original Angel without all the guilt, was exactly like Angelus?"
"Pretty much, minus all the blood-lust though." Spike smiled wickedly at 
Xander. "You'd make an absolutely splendid vampire pet."
"Please don't even say that!" Xander shouted, trying to cover up the way he 
cock had twitched when he'd imagined Spike draining him. It didn't work.
Spike grabbed the boy's shoulders and forced him to look into his eyes. 
"Don't try to hide it Xander. It's erotic, draining someone. Or being 
drained for that matter. It's intense, being that connected to someone, 
feeling their heart." He felt the boy shiver against him and he smiled. "I'm 
not going to take you without your permission though pet. Don't worry."
For some reason Spike's voice actually managed to sooth Xander. The idea of 
being a vampire....that was something he didn't want to think about. But 
being Spike's childe, *belonging* to him, being his forever.....
Xander turned suddenly and gave Spike a fierce kiss leaving the vampire 
toying with the idea that maybe his pet was more open to the idea of eternal 
life than he would let on. Nevermind, there was plenty of time to pursue 
that later without freaking the boy out.
"Spike," Xander said almost shyly after a few minutes.
"Yes ducks."
Xander paused to smirk at this new nickname before continuing. "What's it 
like to have a demon inside you?"
"You just won't get off this topic will you?"
Xander flushed. "It's new to me, and if I'm going to be with you I should 
know these things. Right?"
Spike let it go at that but couldn't help smirking before he answered. 
"It's a part of you, but it's a whole new level of emotion. Everything's 
taken to the bloody extreme. The demon *wants*. The demon hunts, the demon 
kills, the demon fucks, the demon fights. I do all the rest." He paused to 
run his mouth over Xander's bottom lip, "And some of the fucking of course." 
The boy shuddered. Spike pulled him even closer. "The demon wants you 
Xander," Spike hissed huskily, "I want you, I care about you. The demon just 
wants you. He wants to shag you blind." Spike ran his hands over the boy's 
face. Xander found that instead of being terrified like any sensible person 
would be he was suddenly painfully hard and aching for said demon to come 
out in full force. Instead, he kissed Spike again hungrily.
Spike's grin was wolfish. He had to say he was enjoying his pet's way of 
avoiding complicated responses. "I'll never let you change Xander," he 
muttered. "Even if I do turn you. Your demon will just make you lose some of 
your...." he ran a finger slowly down the boy's chest. "Inhibitions."
Xander swallowed painfully and tried to keep his sudden death wish to a 
visible minimum. Was it a good sign or a bad sign that the idea of becoming 
and vampire was growing more and more appealing by the minute? Spike leaned 
in to kiss his swollen lips. "Sorry pet," he muttered, "I'll shut it now. 
Given you too much to brood about as it is. No need to turn you into Angel."
"Not missing Angel much?" Xander asked with a half smile. Spike snorted. 
"M' good ol' sire can rot in L.A. for as long as he pleases. I'm quite happy 
with him over there. Wouldn't really want to have to dust my sire but just 
looking at the bleedin' pouff makes me sick. Where did Angelus go?" Spike 
sounded almost mournful.
"I thought you wanted Angelus gone?" Xander said.
"I did, he was taking Dru from me. Again. Miss havin' a sire who's not a 
souled-up nancy- boy though."
Xander snorted his laughter at the last comment. For what seemed like the 
eight billionth time that week he pushed his worries about the intensity of 
the Sire/Childe relationship out of his mind. Instead he asked, "Have you 
ever sired anyone?"
"Minions and such, but I don't have a childe. Never met a human who seemed 
worth it," a strange sort of smile crossed Spike face and he stroked 
Xander's hair. "Hadn't anyway."
A huge lump started to well up in Xander's throat, much to his humiliation. 
To cover it up his buried his face against Spike chest and squeezed him 
hard. Spike returned the favour and rubbed his face against Xander's hair. 
He didn't miss the sudden show of emotion but chose not to call him on it. 
He had just admitted to the boy that he cared about him twice in a row and 
Xander hadn't used it against him either time. He hugged him hard. This 
human-thing was new and strange but it certainly had its high-points. He 
closed his eyes and contentedly breathed in the scent of Xander's hair, 
somehow missing the gentle sound of footsteps coming down the basement 
stairs. He heard the screech though, that was a bit hard to miss.
Xander reacted faster than Spike did, all but jumping off the bed and 
running towards the stairs. "Okay, Anya don't freak out. Please don't freak 
out!"
The former demon was standing at the foot of the stairs, hands clamped over 
her mouth, staring wide-eyed at the vampire who now shared her ex-lover's 
bed. Spike offered her a self- satisfied smirk. She wheeled around and 
bolted back up the stairs with Xander hot in pursuit. "Anya, wait just, 
let's talk about this at least!"
Spike couldn't hold back the chuckle as the door slammed upstairs. He knew 
this was inevitable and was going to be very hard for Xander and possibly 
dangerous for him once word reached the slayer but....God that demon bitch 
was funny!
When Xander came plodding back down the stairs he managed to stifle his 
grin and look semi-concerned.
"Now what?"

***********
End