The elder Mulder
was dead—dead and buried.
Few things in a man's life can compete with the death of his father for
its life-altering effect; perhaps the birth of his first child, but that's
a debatable point. As his father lay dying in his arms, Mulder realized
that this was the end of an epoch in his life: the age of innocence was
over, his days of certainty that time was an infinite thing and that he
was immortal—as so many young men feel—came to an abrupt and screaming
halt. Mulder, who didn't
enjoy a wide circle of friends to offer him solace, had to suffer this
loss alone. The emotional chasm that had separated him and his
mother only seemed to widen to unbridgeable proportions. Granted, he had
Scully. Scully did her best to comfort him and he did appreciate
it. At the time of his
father's death, he was so spaced out on drugs he latched onto one idea and
one idea only: Krycek had to be the assassin. When he saw his former
partner lurking at his apartment, all his rage at the man boiled to the
surface. He didn't look too closely at this emotion; he was afraid to.
Thanks to Scully, who shot him, he was saved from making the worst mistake
of his life. For a Federal Agent brought up on murder charges, convicted
and imprisoned, his life expectancy would have been shorter than that of a
fruit fly. Fox had come
to terms with his sexuality a long time ago; he simply denied it; filed it
away as untouchable; obliterated it in favour of hard work and obsession.
But since he had taken up with Skinner, all that had changed. He had been
attracted to Skinner for a long time, but denied himself the pleasure.
There was no doubt that Skinner was a considerate and caring lover, but
Fox had not looked at the situation too closely, afraid of what he might
see. Afraid to find that he found in Skinner a replacement for the father
he had never really known—a pale substitute for the father's love that he
had never experienced, and of which blind fate had robbed him,
forever. At times his
relationship with Skinner was a strange one. He always felt that
relationships could only grow and flourish by being fed the waters of
trust, truth and mutual respect. The secrets he kept from Skinner and the
secrets Skinner kept from him sometimes festered and broke forth in his
mind like a puss-filled wound that, at times, caused him physical pain.
Fox knew about the nanocyte episode with Krycek and Skinner knew he knew,
but they never spoke of it. Fox knew, too, of Skinner's early sexual
dalliance with Krycek, but Skinner had never admitted to it. Not that Fox
would ever come out and ask. And the traitor—that foul
betrayer—what about him? Mulder had suffered that betrayal keenly. It
wasn't as though he'd never been betrayed before—he had been, time and
time again; this time it was worse, much worse. He had begun to trust the
young, green agent, hell; he had even begun to like him. And now,
circumstances had thrown him and Krycek together more and more often as
the years rolled by. As time marched on, even the sound of that hateful
name caused him less pain. The man had insinuated himself back into Fox's
life again. Admittedly he was helping Mulder in his work, but Mulder
continually asked himself why. He could never come up with an acceptable
answer to that question.
And more bothersome still, to Fox, was his reaction to the man himself. He
had never examined the violence masquerading as hate, never questioned why
Krycek didn't defend himself, rarely questioned the pleasure he'd felt
beating the younger man to a bloody pulp. But now his visceral reactions
to Krycek's mere existence seemed to have played themselves out. Inside
him there was a void where that hate used to reside, which was slowly
filling up with something else that Mulder didn't have a name for. A
man prone to pensive introspection, as Mulder was, could not always allow
himself the luxury of letting those thoughts lie dormant. He was being
forced to take them out and examine them, roll them between his fingers
and decide on the nature of them. He was being forced into action—action,
not of his choice, but of someone else's. The time for the singing of birds
is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in the land. For Fox, it
was like coming from a cold winter into the new world of a warm spring. He
was to make a decision, a decision that would, no doubt, affect the entire
course of his life to come.
*****
It was near noon and the sun bore
down directly on my helmet. The sky was totally clear except for a few
wispy clouds. One in particular, just slightly obscured the sun, mocking
me; showing me that it was there but denying me any shade from its heat or
of its glare. I got up
this morning and dressed all in black—black helmet, black leather jacket,
leather biker's pants and boots—big mistake. I sweated like a pig; the
black absorbing the heat of the sun and passing it directly into my body.
If there was a cooling breeze, it might have helped a bit, but there
wasn't. The person who drafted the mandatory helmet law should be roasted
on a spit, slowly, painfully until he felt exactly what it's like to be
stuck under this contraption of molded, padded plastic. It wouldn't be
justice, but it'd be close. As I drew closer to the ocean, I felt
the humidity in the air rise, which did nothing for my present feeling of
discomfort. I smelled the saltiness of the nearby water and it made me
feel a little better. For someone who had grown up near the ocean, this
smell can almost mean home, like the smell of your grandmother's apple pie
baking in the oven. It gives you that warm, safe feeling, although in my
case, it was simply illusion. Portable property, that's been my life
for years now. I own nothing, which can't be loaded into a backpack and
taken with me at a moment's notice. It's a necessity; people still try to
track me down, hoping to score a Brownie point or two with The Smoker, I
guess. I've taught a few of them the error of their ways and made sure
that a few others wouldn't be trying it again. I have some bills sewn in the lining
of my jacket along with some precious stones. Safety deposit boxes stuffed
with cash, I have a few of them scattered around the country, just in case
I need make a quick and unscheduled exit. This vintage Harley is my only
concession to consumerism—my pride and joy, my only true friend and my
only loyal lover. The
heat and the vibrations from the roaring beast between my legs gave me a
chubby. I felt my awakening cock slowly filling out and snaking down my
leg; the tightness of my leather pants and the vibrations of the Harley
would soon massage it to its full length and I'd be as horny as hell. Of
course, the young, hard body pressed so tightly at my back—like a second
skin—isn't helping either. The kid was terrified; I could tell from the
thumping of his heart. His hands have been slowly slipping down from my
stomach to my groin in his efforts to hold onto me as tightly as he could.
If he's not careful, he'll soon be in for one hell of a surprise.
I'm near my exit so I pulled off
to the side of the road, motioned with my head for my passenger to
dismount. He passed me his helmet and I secured it to the motorcycle. I
removed my own and used my real hand to wipe at the sweat on my hair and
brush the droplets from my face. "This is as far as I go," I told him.
"What's your name, kid?" I asked none too gently. "Roddy." "Well, Roddy, you've never been on a
Harley before, have you?"
"Nope! First time." He smiled at me; the kid was a real looker, beautiful
teeth, clear skin, and from what I could see, a body honed to near
perfection by sports or exercise, or both. "How old are you, Roddy?" He was slightly puzzled by my
question. "Eighteen," he said. "Come on, Roddy, don't lie to
me." "Seventeen," he said
slightly blushing.
"Roddy, one more chance, and don't lie to me this time. How old are
you?" "Sixteen—that's the
truth." He stood there
shuffling his expensive looking tennis shoes in the dust. "You shouldn't be doing this, Roddy.
You shouldn't be out here in the middle of nowhere hitchhiking alone. It's
dangerous, you never know what kind of wolves—people like me—that you'll
meet. You could be beaten, robbed, or even raped and left for
dead." Now the kid really
looked scared. "Don't
worry, I'm in a hurry right now." I laughed and he relaxed a
little. "You're running
away from home, Roddy, aren't you?" He didn't answer me, but he didn't
avert his eyes, either.
"That's not a smart thing to do, kid. I know from personal experience that
it's not." I adjusted
myself a little, pushing my equipment into a more comfortable position in
these tight, leather pants. I don't miss Roddy's appreciative glance at
what I'm doing. Oh! If I weren't a man on a mission, I'd be seriously
tempted. "There's nothing
you can't work out with your parents," I said. "If not, there are other
people out there who can help: your school, your church, your coach or
even a professional. Try these people before you head out on your
own." "Sure," he said
none too convincingly. I
took a quarter out of my pocket and tossed it to him; he caught it in
mid-air easily. "Call
your parents to come and get you." I put my helmet back on and kicked the
bike back into life. I took the turn down the dirt road and left Roddy in
a cloud of dust to think a little more about his future.
*****
I don't think I have ever seen
Scully looking as young as she does today. Even her breasts appeared more
perky than usual. She has hoisted herself up on a table across from my
desk, locked her legs together at the ankle and is swinging them back and
forth. Of course, there is ample room for this between Scully's feet and
the floor. Her face is
slightly flushed, her hair marginally out of place and there is a look of
happiness and contentment on her face that she can't completely
conceal. "Get some last
night, Scully?" I ask.
"Mulder!" She chides me with a smile on her face. "A lady," she repeats,
"a lady, never, never kisses and tells." "But we're not talking about a Lady,
Scully, we're talking about you." I smile back at her. "Mulder!" I had to laugh at her reaction to that
one and I looked at her ankles so blatantly that Scully doesn't miss
it. "What are you looking
for?" she asks. "A new
tattoo," I reply.
"Humph." She rolls her eyes up and I laugh. "You know, Mulder, I consider myself
to be a woman of the world. I have to admit," and she starts giggling, "I
have to admit, that when I figured out about you and Walter, it sort of
threw me for a few days."
"What do you mean, Scully?" "Sleeping with the boss, Mulder. I
know that women break through the glass ceiling that way, but I never
realized that men had to do it too." She couldn't contain herself any
longer and she covered her mouth with one of her hands trying, in vain, to
hold back the laughter.
"Scully!" "But now," she
continued as if I hadn't even spoken, "you're telling me that Krycek is
after your body, too! I realize that you have a certain amount of manly
charm, Mulder, but for heaven's sake, the two of them!" Both of our attentions are diverted by
a knock at the door. It opened a crack and Skinner stuck his head in. The
door wasn't opened far enough for him to see Scully sitting there on the
table on the other side of the office. "Fox," he said, "can I have a word
with you?" This time
Scully lost it completely and she roared with laughter. "Mulder, when can I call you Fox? Do I
have to sleep with you first?" The tears streamed down her face from the
force of her mirth. She poked her head forward so that she could see
Skinner. Her eyes twinkled and shone at the sight of Skinners discomfort.
Skinner returned her look so shyly, so very much like a little boy caught
with his hand in the cookie jar. There is certainly nothing as endearing
and cute as the sight of a large, powerful, self-assured man blushing like
that. No, he wasn't blushing; his face was flaming red—as red as Scully's
hair—from his neck to the tip of his rapidly balding head. "Mulder," Skinner rephrased the
question, "can I see you in the hallway for a moment."
*****
I continued down the dirt road, but
more slowly this time. The rough surface, with its bumps and dips, made me
even more aroused. Christ, I was hard. I pulled the bike over to the side
of the road and stopped there for a moment. I took the damn helmet off my
head and rubbed my hand over my hair; it was wet and sticky and damned
uncomfortable. I didn't think there'd be too many cops patrolling this
little-used dirt road so I packed my helmet away and drove off enjoying
the feel of the air on my naked head. The low thrum of the Harley lulled me
into sense of quiet and peace, as it always does. I passed by the Bed and
Breakfast I had reserved for Mulder—an old, huge, Victorian mansion with a
widows' walk. I could almost see Mulder up there, late at night, barely
dressed, peering out over the ocean or looking towards the stars. The
image sent a jolt directly to my painfully erect cock. I drove on towards
the ocean to double check on my preparations. The boat was still moored where I had
left it, completely untouched. If I had more time, I would have walked on
the beach—my feet bare, digging my toes into the wet sand, dodging the
waves as they made their way to the shore. I've always loved the ocean;
have done so for as long as I can remember. I have a deep respect for it;
it's like a coiled monster, looking peaceful and quiet, but at any second
it can rise up and bite you on the ass. But now wasn't the time.
I turned the bike around and
headed back to the Bead and Breakfast. The man sitting behind the desk
didn't even acknowledge my presence as I stood before him. He just kept
tapping at the keys of his computer. He was a little toad of a man. It's
not that he wasn't well dressed, but even if he had been dressed in a
designer suit it would still have looked like something he just plucked
from the sale rack at the local Salvation Army. He reminded me of someone
but I couldn't seem to remember just who it was. Possibly one of Mulder's
flaky friends, Frohike, I think it is. I brought my prosthetic down
hard down on the little raised partition on the other side of his desk to
get his attention. It worked. "Sorry, Sir, I didn't see you
there." "I
figured." "Can I help
you," he asked me. "Yes.
I'm Krycek, I reserved this house for the week end." He quickly tapped the keys of his
computer and his greedy little eyes widened when he saw the
reservation. "The whole
house?" He inquired.
"Yes." "That will be very
expensive, Mr. Krycek." I
reached into my left pocket of my leather jacket and pulled out ten one
hundred-dollar bills and slapped them on the counter. "This should cover it," I said.
"Yes, indeed it will. Let me get
you a receipt and your change." "Don't bother," I said. "Keep
it." That got the
attention of this greedy little man. "The reservation isn't for me. It's
for a Mr. Fox Mulder. And let me warn you now, never call him Fox. You
don't want me to tell you what he will do to you if you do." His eyes asked the question 'Why?' but
I didn't give him an answer. I reached around my body with my good hand
and reached into the right pocket of my jacket and pulled out five more
one hundred-dollar bills and placed them on the counter. Only this time, I
kept my hand covering them. "I want him well looked after," I
said. "If he wants a pedicure at three o'clock in the morning, you'll
arrange it. And if you can't find someone to do it, you'll do it yourself.
Anything he wants, no matter how trivial, you'll supply it." I looked
toward my hand covering the bills. "This should cover it," I said as I
took my hand away. He
took the money from the counter, counted it, and shoved it into his
pocket. "Yes, it will," he said. I pulled my jacket back a bit to
reveal the gun tucked into the top of my jeans and rubbed the handle of
this all too familiar tool of my trade. Looking up to see that he that he
noticed this little demonstration, I was pleased to see the look of alarm
on his face. "I'm glad we
understand each other so well," I said. "Make sure you do as I ask; I'll
be checking that you did." With that I turned and left the
office.
*****
I backed out into the hallway;
thankfully it was empty. Hell, it was in the basement, who else was going
to be there. "Mulder, we
have a meeting at 1:30," I told him. He looked kind of confused.
"A meeting, sir." "Yes, Mulder, this one is very
strange." "Strange,
how?" "The request came
directly from Justice—the Secretary's office—she made the call herself and
wouldn't give me any further information. Apparently even the Director
doesn't now about it."
Mulder looked very baffled. "That is strange." "Yes it is," I replied. "We're meeting
with a Mr. Steed. I don't know him, never heard of him before. Checked the
Justice personnel database and his entry is classified. Even with my
security clearance, I couldn't access it." "Curious and curiousier," he
said. Mulder fidgeted
from one foot to the other. Only Mulder, I thought, would be more
impressed by the secrecy enshrouding the man we were to meet, than the
subject matter of the meeting. He did love a mystery. "Okay, Sir, we'll be there."
"You misunderstand me, Agent
Mulder. Not we, you. The request was for you and I specifically, and only
you and I." "What?"
Mulder asked. "Agent
Scully's presence isn't required," I told him. His eyes widened slightly. "You want
to tell her?" "Nope," I
replied, "they don't pay me enough for that." I grinned at him.
"Coward!" "Guilty as charged." I agreed with
him.
*****
I know I was being a bad girl. I
shouldn't poke fun and tease them like that, but a girl's got to have some
fun. And besides, they're so easy. I finally regained my composure when
Mulder came back into the office followed closely by Skinner. "You know, Mulder, you two have got to
stop meeting like that." I stole a glance at the AD and saw him blushing
scarlet again. This was so much fun. Skinner turned towards Mulder. "What
about this week end? Is it all set up?" "Yeah," Mulder told him. I'll leave
around nine on Friday morning." "Okay." Skinner nodded his head at me
as he left the office. To say that I was sort of curious about this would
be the understatement of the year. "All right, Mulder. Spill!" My tone of
voice left no question as to my seriousness in this matter. "Spill what, Scully?" "For starters, what's going on this
week end?" Poor Mulder
looked like a kid who's just been called into the principal's office. He
had a decision to make, does he lie or does he tell the truth. He closed
his eyes and shook his head as though to clear the cobwebs from his mind.
I decided that it's to be the truth I'll be getting. "I set up a meeting with Krycek," he
told me. He opened his eyes and stared directly at me. "You did what?" "Yeah, a meeting with Krycek somewhere
in the country." "What in
god's name for," I asked him. I wasn't able to keep the shrillness out of
my voice. "Well," Mulder
started sheepishly, "well, it was Walter's idea. "Walter's idea?" I repeated like an
idiot. "Walter thinks
that Krycek is trying to steal me away from him." Mulder smiled awkwardly
at me. "He wanted me to meet with him to set matters straight."
"So let me get this clear in my
mind," I said—I wanted to say 'straight', but that would have been too
much, even for me. "Walter has you, Krycek wants you. Jeez, Mulder, two
men on the hook, I should be so lucky. Are you sure that this is
wise?" He shrugged his
shoulders. "Are you
planning on wearing a Kevlar vest to this meeting, Mulder?" "Funny, Scully, really funny."
"Okay." I changed the subject
quickly. "What about the meeting this afternoon?" "That's another thing, Scully. It's
with a Mr. Steed from Justice. The thing is, he only wants to meet with
Walter and me. Alone."
"Should I feel snubbed, Mulder?" Mulder just smirked at me. "I don't
think so, Scully." "It
looks like a very long lunch for Scully," I said. I hopped from the table
and put on my coat and headed towards the door. With my hand on the
doorknob I turned toward my partner again. "Have a good week end, Mulder.
I'll see you on Monday...maybe." I walked back towards his desk, dug in
my purse and grabbed a ten-dollar bill and tossed it on his desk. "Get
yourself some condoms...my treat. This time it was his turn to blush,
and I turned and laughed my way out of the office.
*****
I sat at my desk drumming my pen on
the legal pad; Mulder sat across from me fidgeting in his chair.
"I wonder what this is all
about," he says. "I wish
I knew, but like I said, the Secretary wouldn't elaborate." Mulder looked at his watch. "It's
1:45," he announced. "I
guess our Mr. Steed likes to be fashionably late." Just then the intercom come to life
and my secretary announced our visitor. I told her to send him in. The
door opened, and a tall man with dark hair carrying a plain manila
envelope backed into the office, closing the door behind him. "Good afternoon, Walter, Mulder," he
said. When I saw who it
is my face must have registered some shock because Mulder picked up on it
and turned in his chair to look at him. "You!" Fox said with some
volume. "Yes, me. Long
time, no see, gentlemen. Please remain in your chairs and don't move," he
said. He walked to
Mulder's chair, put his hand on the back of it and looked down at
him. "Who—and more
importantly—what are you?" Mulder asked him. "Well today, I'm Jarod Steed. As for
who I am, I don't really know...Don't ask. What am I?" Jarod stopped for a
moment as though giving this question some thought. "I've been many
things, Fox," he said that dreaded first name with some venom.
Still staring at Mulder's face
he ran his hands through Fox's hair, grabbed it firmly at the nape of the
neck and pulled down so that Mulder's face was upturned to him. Leaning
down, he forced the startled agent's lips open with his tongue and kissed
him with passion and brutality, forcing his tongue deep into Mulder's
mouth. When he was done, Fox was aroused and clearly breathless.
Jealousy and rage boiled within
me and I made a move to get out of my chair. "I said sit, Walter, and I meant it."
The statement was delivered with such icy determination; I decided to do
as I was told, for now anyway. Jarod kissed Mulder on the cheek and
moved over to stand behind my desk. He threw a manila envelope down and
all I could make out on the cover were the words 'The Centre'. The next
thing I knew he had undone my tie and popped the first three buttons of my
shirt, exposing my neck and some of the hairs between my chest
muscles. "Feeling
vulnerable yet, Walter?"
I didn't answer him. But, my god, those talented hands delved into my
shirt and played with my chest. Next thing I knew my nipples were hard and
tingling. "Beautiful,
isn't he, Mulder?" Jarod said as he looked at the man across from
me. Fox said nothing. He
just looked pissed. Really pissed as he stared directly at my tormentor.
And a tormentor he was. Those hands on my body, those expert hands
massaging my chest and stomach, making me feel great all over. Making me
feel so great in fact that, to my eternal shame, my cock got into the
action, filling and elongating to its full measure. Jarod didn't miss this
little fact; he took his hands from my chest and placed them both between
my legs. One cupping my balls and the other squeezing my cock. I gasped
with pleasure. "Mulder,
you are one lucky man!" Jarod said. He leaned down and kissed me and
licked a wide swath up my cheek with his tongue. "What are you doing, Jarod," Mulder
asked. Jarod chuckled and
gave my cock one final loving squeeze. "In case you've forgotten, Agent
Mulder, the last time I met you gentlemen you two took, how shall I say,
certain liberties with my body. Not that I didn't enjoy it—it was quite
obvious at the time that I did—but I think 'turnabout is fair play', don't
you?" "Speaking of
which," Mulder asked, "why did you break into my apartment?" "That's an easy one," Jarod said, "I
just wanted to check out the man who had my brother all tied up in
knots." Mulder looked at
him as though this statement made no sense at all. "Your brother," he
said. "Yes, my brother,
Alex," Jarod said.
"Alex!" Mulder was so shocked that if someone had blown on him he would
have fallen off the chair. "Krycek," Jarod continued," you
remember him, don't you Fox? Tall guy, killer smile, cute little upturned
nose, elfin ears, body built like a brick pagoda, and an arm conspicuous
by its absence." This
time it was my turn to be bowled over with a feather. "Well, we're Brothers by Choice,"
Jarod clarified. "Don't ask," he warned as an afterthought. Jarod tapped the manila envelope that
he had thrown on my desk. "We've been working together for a few months;
I've been passing on information damning to the Consortium and he's chosen
to pass it on to you. And this," he brought our attention back to the
envelope in question, "is still more grist for your mill." He kissed me on the mouth again and
walked toward the door.
"If you two are as smart as I think you are," Jarod said as he reached the
door, turned around and looked at us. "You'll follow up on that
information quickly. It will put a serious dent in their operations. Trust
Alex, listen to him, you are working toward the same goals, you
know." Both Mulder and I
were too stunned to say a single word. As the door closed behind him, Jarod
said: "Oh, by the way, I'll be seeing you gentlemen again."
*****
I've worked for AD Skinner for a
long time. He's a just man; a man with high expectations from himself and
from others around him. Like I said, he's a man of high expectations and
if you live up to them, he treats you with respect, appreciation, and true
gratitude. I've seen many people come and go into that office and few of
them ever have a kind word for me. They're usually gruff, self-centered,
and driven. It's true that I stand sentry before the inner sanctum, but
still, it's no justification for some of the treatment I've received at
the hands of the hoi polloi. But now, this man; this man was
different. The term 'tall, dark, and handsome' was coined for him. I'd
never leave my husband and children, but this man, this man had temptation
written all over his face. "Thank you for your help," he said as
he held out his hand for me to shake. "Oh! You're very welcome, Mr.—"
"Just call me Jarod."
"Candy?" He passed me a plastic
container of Pez...god, I haven't seen them in years. I took one from him
and received one of his smiles. It was a true smile; it reached right up
to his eyes. "Good,
aren't they?" He told me. "And they come with a little toy on top of each
package." Now, if I could
only have gotten my heart to stop fluttering, I might have been able to
say something. That smile was killing me; he looked so much like a happy
little boy. My, if I only weren't married. "Is there a washroom around here?" He
asked me. "In the
hallway. Second door on the right." Again he thanked me, and I laid my
chin on my hands and watched that perfect bubble butt walk away until the
AD buzzed me into his office.
*****
I quickly scanned the washroom and
saw that I was alone. I entered one of the stalls and quickly punched in
the six digit code into my cellphone that would defeat any triangulation
attempts to trace this call. "Sydney." I head him answer
immediately. "Sydney, I
want you to be careful," I told him. "Careful? Careful of what,
Jarod?" "I expect a
member of the triumverate will be there soon." "Jarod, he's already here, the place
is in a panic. Even Mr. Lyle and Mr. Raines are frightened out of their
minds. Who is he, Jarod?"
"Tall, dead eyes, dark suit, and he never has a cigarette out of his
mouth?" I asked Sydney.
"That's him, Jarod. Who is he?" "Like Lucifer, Sydney, he's goes by
many names. The most current one is Spender. Listen, Sydney, this man is
dangerous. He's dangerous because he's smart and has no morals. Keep Miss
Parker away from him: violence won't work with this guy. You have to
outsmart him, and you Sydney, are the only one who can do that."
"But Jarod..." Is all I heard
before I severed the connection.
*****
The room was dark and dingy.
Everywhere was littered the jetsam and flotsam of Jarod's latest Pretend.
Books and articles on Gay Bashing littered his small desk. Two computers
were running—on one was a gruesome picture of young man and the other was
hacked into the Hartford police department; the ever-present red notebook
was opened and I could see a newspaper article pasted to one of the pages.
I've learned never to ask about these Pretends, if Jarod wants my input or
my help, he'll certainly ask for it. This was such a luxury for me—coming
into a room where people don't fall over themselves trying to hide
everything from my sight—and it makes me feel slightly proud. I don't
remember when I last felt so completely trusted. Did I say the room looked dingy? Well,
that was before Jarod turned from the window and smiled at me. He stood at
the window dressed in jeans and a red flannel shirt. The sunlight
reflecting in his eyes made the richest shade of chocolate brown I've ever
seen. And that bare chest just made my heart race. He was so tight and
compact, and the hair on his chest was very nearly unnoticeable, just a
fine, soft down, which felt like silk when you touched it. I touched it
every chance I got. "Alex!" He said with a genuine look of
happiness on his face. "I didn't expect you today." "I was in the...neighbourhood." I told
him. "In the
neighbourhood, Alex, this is Connecticut. I don't care why you're here as
long as you are." He
crossed the short space between us in record time and took me into his
arms, laid his face against my cheek and kissed it soundly. I couldn't
help myself; I wedged my hand between us and felt that chest, that sexy
tight chest. And I didn't stop there; I just had to play with his
nipple. "I had the bike
out; the day was bright and sunny; and the wide, open road beckoned me." I
shrugged. Jarod took my head in his hands and looked in my eyes. Damn him,
he knows me so well. Then he just kissed me, so deep and so passionately
that my knees got weak.
"Come on, Alex. This is Jarod. Something's wrong, what is it?"
"Not really wrong, Jarod. Mulder
set up a meeting, and I was making the preparations." "When, Alex!" Jarod seemed slightly
alarmed at this meeting.
"He contacted me last week," I said, clearly confused at his
question. Whatever he
gleaned from that little bit of information seemed to relax him a bit. I
inched his legs apart with one of my own and rubbed my knee against his
groin. I was rewarded with the feel of his rapidly growing
erection. "What's wrong
with that?" He asked me.
"Nothing really, but I have this feeling. It's a bad feeling,
Jarod." "Anything I can
do to help..." The statement was left unfinished, full of promise, and
implicit in that promise was a guarantee." "No, Jarod. This is between me and
Mulder." "So what can I
do, Alex!" I smiled
provocatively at him and rubbed my stubbled cheek against his.
"Jarod, you can fuck me."
A blunt, no-nonsense invitation
like that might have shocked a lesser man, but not Jarod. "That I can do,"
he said, "and it will be my pleasure." He slowly led me over to his small
bed. He gave me a little push that set me down gently on the mattress. He
removed his shirt and tossed it on a chair. The pants were next to go,
slowly. He always combined sex with me with a little show. Like I said, he
knows me so well. The pants hit the floor releasing his hard cock with a
satisfying plop. He
turned his attention to me and undressed me with the same dedication to
detail with which he does everything else. Jarod has large, strong, gentle
hands; they are magical. He can touch me in ways that no once else
can. He soon had me naked
and those magical hands roamed over every inch of my body from the tip of
my chin to my big toe. Then he touched that spot between my legs, just
behind my balls, that almost had me screaming his name and coming at the
same time. "Jarod, in all
the Pretends you've ever done, have you been a masseur?" I asked him
between shaky breaths. He
laughed at me. "Better, Alex," he said, "a Sex Therapist." I rolled my eyes heavenward, made half
a steeple with my hand, "God, you really do love me." He looked at me with lidded,
passion-filled eyes. His face was flushed and his gaze never left mine
while he applied a condom. He laid that beautiful, compact body on top of
mine, and I immediately melted into him. He took my lips with his own and
forcing my lips apart, he sucked the breath out of me. From out of nowhere
it seemed, he had his lubed finger against my anus and was forcing his way
in. My legs shook with lust and anticipation. "Fuck me, Jarod. I need it.
Now!" He did just that.
His cock tapped against my entrance demanding admittance, and he fucked me
slow and deep. The pleasure was so intense, so consuming, I didn't know
who I was or where I was, I think he even had me calling for my mother.
Then I came hard. Each contraction wracking my body as the semen spilled
from me onto my chest, and with a couple more hard thrusts on his part he
came too. While I caught
my breath, he rubbed my semen into my skin, taking the excess and rubbing
it into his own chest. He loved the way the substance stuck us together in
the physical, which was a mere parody of the emotional attachment we had
with each other. He
removed his cock from me, disposed of the condom, and pulled me into his
arms on this small bed. His physical presence took control of me,
protected me and made me feel safe as it always did. I laid my head just
under his chin, and he toyed absentmindedly with my hair. "I have to leave early to make that
meeting with Mulder," I said, not able to keep the sad tone out of my
voice. "I know," he added
with a resignation that echoed my own. "You be careful out there,
Alex." "Always, Jarod.
Always."
*****
The whorishly red numerals of my
bedside clock taunted me. For the tenth time I've looked at it, and barely
a minute has elapsed each time. Three forty-five in the morning and I'm
still awake. I'm worried about tomorrow's meeting, funny thing is, I'm the
one who insisted on it.
Mulder slumbered quietly beside me, his fine, patrician nose rising
straight up from the pillow. On the nights he sleeps over, we sleep naked.
It adds that extra touch of intimacy between us. Through the night, when
either of us moves and our flesh touches, it sends a jolt of pleasure
through me. Or in the morning when I awake and find that we've entwined
ourselves around each other or are simply sleeping in an embrace, it fills
me with wonder and pleasure and an inner peace. Mulder murmured in his sleep tonight,
but I couldn't make any sense out of the words. I swept my hand down his
naked body to his groin and found his cock half-erect. I wondered if he
was thinking of Krycek or of me. What could a man like Mulder find
interesting in me? Walter Skinner is not the life of the party—a man who
works from dawn to dusk and then takes more work home with him.
Mulder's a young man, a vibrant
man with a young man's appetites. I can keep up with him now, thanks to a
life-long regimen of exercise and physical activity. But that's now. When
Mulder's fifty, I'll be...The thought doesn't come easy to me; it made my
doubts redouble. I turned
on my side and rested my head on my hand as I looked at him. He slept on,
eyes tightly closed. Some of his hair had slipped down over his sweaty
brow during the night. I pushed it back a little and laid a soft kiss on
his forhead. This roused him, and he sleepily opened his eyes to look at
me. "Walter, you're
awake." He strained to see the time on the clock partially obscured by my
body. "So early—" is all that he said. I shook my head in the affirmative to
his statement. "What's
wrong, Walter?" The question was asked with a deep concern in his
voice. I couldn't answer
him; it would have given away too much. "You're worried about today, aren't
you?" I don't answer him,
just avert my eyes. "Old
man, are you worried about Krycek?" He asked me again. He was wide-awake
and in full Mulder mode, like a dog with a bone in its mouth who won't let
it go. "Yeah, a little."
I told him. "Walter, you
asked me to do this, and I agreed. If there were any doubt in my mind, I
wouldn't be doing it. Don't you know that? It's you I want, not Krycek."
The emphasis with which he delivered this statement made me feel a little
better. God! How I wanted to believe. He smiled at me; taking my genitals in
his hand he had me at fever's pitch in ten seconds flat. His slighter arms
pulled me into a full body embrace with him: chest-to-chest, cock-to-cock.
His lips tasted sweet on mine, his tongue intrusive and demanding. I gave
into him completely and lost myself in his kiss. Of all the men I've been
with over the years, and there have been a few, Mulder is the Olympic gold
medallist in the French kissing event. None better. I moaned into his
mouth, begging for more.
His hips undulate; the head of his cock fucked my ball sack, and the head
of mine slid over the soft silkiness of his pubic hair. He held tightly
onto me and moved his hand to my ass. God, this man knows how to turn me
on; his gossamer, light touch sent a surge of pleasure to my cock. Just
his simple touch on the fine hairs of my ass was almost enough to send me
over the edge. Our dicks
were moistened with sweat and precum and slid against each other in a
dance of passion and abandonment. My kiss took over from his and my tongue
plundered his mouth, my hands adored his chest muscles and my fingers
toyed with his nipples. He moaned his pleasure loudly in my mouth.
"There's nothing to worry
about," he said between panting gasps. I licked his chin as I came hard
and splashed my fluids onto his stomach. He followed me into this
petite mort almost immediately, with a soft sigh. "Don't get up," he said to me. I'll
take care of this." He picked up his discarded underwear from the floor
and cleaned us both. He
pushed me onto my back and nestled his head on my chest, and spoke
directly to my nipples. "Don't worry, Walter, now get some sleep."
I smiled; I had no choice but to
take his advice. I petted his chestnut brown hair and followed him into
sleep, but still the doubts were nagging at me. When logic wars with
emotion, emotion invariably wins the battle, if not the war.
*****
This is a nice place, so close to
the ocean. Old and clean and well kept. It surprised me that I'm the only
guest at the moment. When I asked the owner why there were no other people
besides me, he looked sort of startled for a moment as though I should
know the answer to this question, but just shrugged his shoulders
noncommittally. The
breakfast he served me was good and fresh and wholesome, quite a change
for me. As I was finishing the last sip of my coffee, I heard the roar of
a motorcycle and noted that it stopped outside the Inn. As I was the only
guest, I figured it was Krycek. The day was hot already, the humidity
of the nearby ocean hanging in the air, making it thick and uncomfortable,
so I wore only a light T shirt and my jeans. When I got outside I found that I was
right—it was Krycek. Bastard! I thought. He sat there on his bike, dressed
as usual in black jeans and leather jacket with his helmet sitting on his
lap. There was one exception—he wore no shirt under his jacket. I could
only see the faintest hint of the straps holding his fake arm to his body.
His chest was smooth, toned, and pumped. The flesh looked kissed and
smeared with honey. His russet nipples, already hard, were crowned with a
few stray hairs. It has always surprised me that a man whose body has been
so badly mutilated and scarred, as his has, could feel so comfortable in
his skin. I walked down the steps and stood next to him on the
bike. "Give me the keys,
Krycek." He opened his
eyes wide, the deep forest green of them rivaling the leaves on the trees
that surrounded us. He grinned at me with that knowing smirk, just the
barest hint of well-formed, straight teeth, that sometimes made me feel
that he knew everything about me, all my secrets, that nothing could be
hidden from him. "No way,
no how, Mulder," he stated flatly. "I'm driving, Krycek." "Mulder, have you ever driven a Harley
before?" "No. But how
hard could it be, you're driving one." Even now I realized how ludicrous
my request had been, but still I wouldn't back down. Krycek just looked at
me like I was out of my mind. "Mulder do you realize just how many
people I've had to kill to buy this bike?" The look on his face was one of
taunting amusement. I wondered though, just how far off the truth it might
be. "You are not driving
this bike, Mulder. You called this meeting and if you won't ride with me,
this meeting is over."
His statement brooked no opposition; so I grudgingly took the helmet he
offered me, put it on and mounted the bike behind him.
*****
Well that was easy, I rarely win an
argument with Mulder that quickly, hell, I rarely win an argument with
that stubborn man at all. It's not far to where we're going so I just keep
the bike to a steady, slow pace. It's beautiful here—quiet, warm, like
we're alone in the universe. Mulder is pressed up close to my back;
I feel his heat seeping through my jacket and into my body. It's a luxury
I never dreamed I'd have. Even through the helmet and the breeze
surrounding us, I can smell him. Freshly washed, but still exuding the
smell of the man he is.
Mulder knocks on my helmet and I stop the bike, lift the visor and turn to
him. "Krycek, where are
we going?" "It's not far,
Mulder. Just sit back and relax. We'll be there in a few minutes."
I pulled the bike back out on
the path that passes for a road. Mulder is again holding onto me for dear
life. And damn me to hell, I'm responding to him even though I know that
this touch is not meant for me. My stomach is sweating and it's getting
slippery where Mulder is holding me. His hands keep slipping down lower
and lower towards my pants, and the erection hidden within them. I know
that under the helmet my face is flaming scarlet from my automatic
reaction to him. His hands keep slipping down, and down, and when he comes
in contact with the fully engorged head of my cock, he brings them up as
though they were burned.
Finally, I see the dock and the boat moored to it.
*****
Krycek stopped the bike right on the
dock, removed his helmet and pocketed the keys as I got off the bike. He
unfastened the saddlebag and threw it into the boat. He took off his
jacket and tossed that into the boat as well. The muscles of his back
rippled even from this little movement. He's in good shape—strong and
tanned and healthy. With a little grin on his face he turned to me.
"You coming?" He unhooked the straps that hold his
prosthetic to his body and tossed the arm on top of his jacket. He's
gutsy; I'll give him that. He doesn't seem to feel anything at showing me
his disfigurement, as though it's a natural part of him, and I guess, by
now, it is. "Coming
where?" Krycek pointed to
a small island just offshore. "It belongs to a friend of mine. A nude
beach." I looked at him
like he's just grown another head. This time he's smiling like the cat
that's just swallowed the canary. "I'm not getting naked with you, you rat
bastard." "God you're a
pussy, Mulder!" I snarled
at him. "Mulder, it's an
island in the middle of the water, a parabolic microphone wouldn't be able
to pick up what we're saying above the sound of the surf. And besides, it
has a wrinkle rule, any more than three and you're out of there!"
Krycek laughed as I stepped past
him to the bow of the boat.
*****
I kicked off my boots and socks,
opening my pants I shoved them down my legs, stepping out of them and my
underwear at the same time. I thanked all the gods of heaven that my
erection had gone down a bit. Mulder turned around and took a long,
hard look at me. I think he's getting off on this. "This is stupid,
Krycek." I shrugged my
shoulders. It was a chance I took; I knew that there was a possibility
that Mulder would never go along with it. But he did, grudgingly. He sat
on the bench at the bow and, to my surprise, he is faces me. He slowly
removed his shirt, untied his running shoes, removed them and his socks,
slipped his pants and underwear down his legs and is now, as I am, as
naked as nature intended us. I couldn't keep my eyes off him. He
looked great; olive tanned skin, firm muscles, and a light dusting of body
hair tinted light from exposure to the sun. He looked at me as though he
was daring me to do or say something. I did neither. Just looked him over
from head to toe. And in the middle are seven glorious inches of Mulder
seemingly growing bigger by the moment. "We're here, Mulder." I told him as I
jumped out of the boat and secured it to the dock.
*****
This is a nice place. Not a sound
except for the slight ripple of the surf crashing against the shore could
be heard. I'm thankful that we're the only ones here. I wandered off the dock and headed
toward a sandy beach, and plunk my self down on it. I laid back and let
the heat of the sand soak through my body, and the sun above me, bright
and high in the sky, blessed my skin with its heat. Krycek came and lay beside me. I
couldn't help but notice that his cock was almost half-erect by now and
realized how difficult this is going to be. "I met your boyfriend yesterday." My
words sounded sarcastic and sharp even to my own ears. "My boyfriend?" "Your boyfriend...your lover...your
brother, whatever?" I told him. "My brother is dead, Mulder." The
regret was palpable in Krycek's voice. "Your Brother by Choice then,
Alex." "Jarod!" Alex's
eyes glistened like they were lit from the inside out, and a huge, broad
smile crossed his face. This was genuine, I knew that. Alex was guileless
at the moment, his face expressing everything he felt. "How? When? Why?" He asked me in rapid
succession. "Somehow or
other," I said with a tone of grudging respect in my voice, "he convinced
Janet Reno to set up a meeting with him, me and Skinner." "That Jarod," he said, beaming with
pride, "is such a pisser!" Right at that moment I realized what a
fucked-up nut case I really was. In the pit of my stomach the monster
roused itself. I was fucking jealous of Jarod. I didn't want Krycek, and I
didn't want anyone else to have him either. The blissful look on Alex's
face made me furious, mad, and really pissed off. Against all reason and
logic, I didn't want Jarod to have him. I kicked some sand with my foot. "I
know that he's passing information to you and you're passing it to
us." "Yeah!" Krycek said.
"Jarod is a ballsy guy. That information is good, too—it's the best." Alex
was clearly proud. I
nodded my head in agreement. "Mulder, why did you want to meet with
me?"
*****
I looked at a naked Mulder lying
next to me—my fantasy made flesh. The minute I asked my question his face
closed over, like a cloud passing before the sun. Now I realized why I'd
felt nervous about this meeting, something bad—really bad—was about to
happen. He didn't answer
me at once. He drew a few designs in the sand and looked out towards the
water. "Why did you want
this meeting?" I asked him again. "I have something to tell you, Alex."
I knew something was seriously wrong when he started using my first name.
That's not Mulder's style. "I know you're interested in me,
Krycek..." "Duh! And this
is news, how?" I pointed to my erection and Mulder looked at it and
blushed again. "It will never happen, Alex. I'm
with someone in a committed relationship and this person felt that you
should know," he said. My erection wilted rapidly.
"Is this the truth this time, Mulder? You're not making up a lover again
are you?" I barely got the words out without screaming at him.
"Truth this time, Krycek. I'm
sorry about the last time; it was completely out of line. I couldn't look at him anymore, too
afraid of what my face might reveal. "Who is she, Mulder? Don't worry, I'm
not going to do anything...I won't shoot her." "Not a her, Alex—a he. It's
Skinner." I must have
looked like I was cold cocked, I certainly felt like it. Mulder looked
like he was actually sorry that he had to tell me. "That's it then, I guess," I said as
calmly as I could muster, "the best man won." Like an old man I rose from
the sand, not looking back I walked toward the boat. I could hear Mulder
following me. I picked up the saddlebag, unsnapped it and took out the
envelope from Jarod and threw it at Mulder's feet. I got into the boat,
facing the ocean and began to dress, not even looking back to see if
Mulder was going to follow me. "I'm sorry, Alex." I felt Mulder's hand on my shoulder
and shook it off. "Forget it, Mulder. Message delivered and understood,
let's get out of here!" I was completely dressed now, still staring out at
the ocean and couldn't look back at him. >From the rocking of the boat
I could tell that Mulder was almost dressed himself. I turned to sit on my
bench next to the outboard motor and was thankful that Mulder had the good
sense to face away from me this time.
*****
On the trip back to the mainland
Alex didn't say a word, didn't make a motion, didn't do anything besides
guide the boat smoothly through the water. The minute we reached the dock
he jumped from the boat and secured the ropes. He walked slowly to the
bike, donned his helmet and sat waiting for me. I had nothing left to say. What could
I say to him? Rejection is rejection, there's no easy way to say it or
accept it. I still had this damned envelope in my hand with nowhere to put
it. So I climbed behind Krycek, put on my helmet, placed the information
on my chest and pressed my chest into Alex's back. He took one sharp
intake of breath, started the bike, and moved out. He stopped the bike at the inn and sat
stoically, staring straight ahead, waiting for me to get off. "Alex..." He flipped up the visor of his helmet
before I could finish speaking. "Don't worry, I'll keep passing on the
information, Mulder. I'm not that petty...yet." "Alex..." I tried again. As before, he cut me off in
mid-sentence. "Enjoy the rest of your week end, Mulder, it's been paid
for. Oh yes, have a good life." He slapped the visor down and waited for
me to get off his bike. I
stood by the Inn and watched Alex speed away. I did what I came here to do. So why
do I feel so shitty? Why do I feel like I'm going to miss him? Why do I
feel that this isn't just another person speeding out of my life? I
watched until Alex disappeared from my sight, shoved my hand into my
pocket and turned toward the building. When I felt the crumpled ten-dollar
bill that Scully had given me, jokingly, to buy condoms, for some reason
that I still can't figure out or even want to try to understand, I wanted
to laugh, but in reality, felt like crying.
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