Chapter 5

Louisa blinked as she felt the warm rays of the sun hit her face. Slowly she opened her eyes and saw the floral curtain fluttering in the breeze, gaily framing her bedroom window. For a moment she thought she was in her bedroom in Kansas, but the sounds below reminded her she was still at the K&L ranch in Sweetwater, Nebraska.

It had been a week since Cody left her to stay with Lou and Kid, and Louisa had been both happy and miserable. Lou and Kid were gracious hosts and good friends. Kid was an easygoing young man whose gentle manners and Southern drawl made her relaxed. Lou was a delight, a woman quite unlike anybody Louisa had ever met. Sweet and incredibly stubborn, tough and yet amazingly tender, she was what Louisa wanted to be. Time spent in her company had taught Louisa to reconsider her father's strict admonition that a woman should always bend to a man's will. Kid didn't seem to mind very much that his wife had a mind of her own, and chose to follow it more often than not.

Teaspoon also made her stay easier. The grizzled former stationmaster regaled her with stories about her husband and the other riders. Louisa knew he was giving her a glimpse of the history of this unusual family which also included feared gunfighter Wild Bill Hickok, Territorial Marshall Sam Cain and his wife Emma, and former waystation housekeeper Rachel Dunne and her husband Mike Staulder, who is now marshall of Rock Creek. 

The only person she could describe as unfriendly was Buck Cross, and even calling him unfriendly was stretching the truth a bit. The man was downright hostile, Louisa thought. He rarely joined them at the dinner table, choosing instead to eat with the ranch hands at the bunkhouse. Kid and Louisa, even Teaspoon at times, made excuses for his absence, saying Buck was working hard with the horses or that he was too tired to eat. Louisa secretly thought it was only right for Buck to stay with the animals, he was stubborn as a mule anyway. It took a while for her to admit that she was hurt by his actions. She thought of him as a friend. He had been very nice to her when they first met a year ago. He had been aloof at first, but before he and the Kid rode out to fight the vicious Black Raiders he had drawn Louisa into the family. At a time when Louisa feared desperately for her husband's life, Buck was the one who assured her everything would turn out fine.

Why does he dislike me so much? Louisa wondered as she rose from the bed and changed into a work dress. At first she thought it was because of Cody's insensitive remarks, but Louisa had a feeling it was something else, something about her. And she had no idea what it was. 

"Well, I'm not going to let that horrible man ruin my stay here," Louisa told her reflection in the mirror. 

"I can see we're not off to a good start today."

"Aunt Louisa!" Jamie stopped running around and catapulted himself into Louisa's arms, nearly knocking her and himself down. 

"Goodness, Jamie," Lou scolded her son. "Don't do that. You could have hurt Louisa and yourself."

"Oh, don't worry about it." Louisa hugged the young boy and kissed his cheek before setting him down. "He seems excited today."

"Isn't he everyday?" Lou asked dryly. 

Lauren had started cleaning up the room, smiling at Louisa as she bent to pick up Marylou's plate. "Mr. Buck promised to take Jamie riding today."

Louisa understood at once the reason behind the little girl's tantrum. She wanted to go with her favored uncle and brother. 

"I miss riding," Lou said, her tone wistful.

"Well, you have to miss it a little longer. Kid will drop dead if he finds you near a horse."

"I know. And that's the only reason I'm not sneaking into Lightning's stall and saddling her up." Lou exchanged rueful smiles with Louisa. "How about you? I haven't seen you ride since you came. You can take any of the horses, you know. Just ask Paul."

"Oh Lord, no. Horses and I don't agree with each other."

"You don't ride?" Lou was incredulous. 

"No." There was faint regret in the single word. "I tried once and the horse threw me. My father was furious, because I nearly injured his best horse."

Louisa's simple statement told Lou about her friend's family and she felt the need to make amends for the father's callousness.

"Well, that would have to be corrected. I'll have someone teach you. I'll do it myself, but ..." Lou gestured towards her huge stomach. "So, I'll get you the next best teacher ... Buck."

"What about me?"

Louisa spun around and saw Buck holding the kitchen door. Surprise and discomfiture had her stammering, "Lou kindly offered your services as a riding teacher, but I'm sure, very sure in fact, that you would rather be skinned alive than to spend time with a greenhorn so I would rather someone else teach me." 

Buck was staring at Louisa like it was the first he'd seen her. It didn't help that Lou was acting the same way. "What?" she asked, a frown knitting her brow.

"That was the most I've ever heard you talk."

"Thank you."

Buck shook his head. "That wasn't a compliment." Before Louisa could respond, he turned to Lou, one eyebrow raised in question. "Offering my services?"

"Yes." Lou was undaunted by the steel in his voice. She knew he'd do it. It was a simple request, Lou thought. But as his silence continued, Lou began to wonder. Why wasn't he agreeing to it?

Louisa was thinking the same thing, despite her initial horror at Lou's request. The horrid man was acting as if the lives of the people of Sweetwater were at stake. Then she remembered why she couldn't take the lessons. "Oh Lou, I can't go riding. I'm pregnant."

"Nonsense," Lou dismissed. "I rode until I was about to give birth to Jamie and Marylou. Buck here will be the first to tell you Indian women are the same way. Besides, you won't be doing any hard riding. You'll have to get used to the feel of the saddle first." Blissfully oblivious to the tension between her two friends, Lou used her best do-it-for-me-please voice. "C'mon, Buck, she needs to learn to ride. You're the best teacher I know. Seems like a perfect match to me."

Buck insisted on starting right after breakfast. He didn't want to spend more time than he absolute had to with Louisa. He figured the sooner they start the lessons, the sooner they'll finish. 

Lou beamed her approval, interpreting his impatience to start as eagerness to teach. 

Louisa, however, was certain Buck just wanted the whole torturous thing over and done with. God knew she wanted the same thing. 

In awkward silence, Buck and Louisa trudged towards the stables where Buck picked out a docile young mare named Sally for Louisa and saddled a magnificent brown horse for himself. With an economy of words and action, he demonstrated the proper way of mounting a horse. A quick study, she copied the movements without much difficulty. Her efforts were rewarded with a grunt of approval. 

Soon, they were riding away from the main house. Buck limited his instructions to four words, "no", "this way" and "good", figuring the less he said to her, the better the chances he wouldn't come across as rude.

But Louisa was already thinking that. She refused to give him any reason to be rude and concentrated on the lessons, but even her focus couldn't make her less aware of the man beside her. His silence was grating her nerves raw. 

He never treated anybody at the ranch like this, she thought. He is always friendly, accommodating anybody who wanted to talk. What is it about me that seems to irritate him so much? She managed to work herself into a rage -- well, as much rage as a lady can express without being considered unladylike. Her father's lessons are tough to forget. Taking a deep breath, she plunged into dangerous territory. "Why do you dislike me so much?"

Buck looked at her sharply, surprise and guilt evident in his eyes before he managed to mask the emotions. "I don't ... dislike you at all." The denial came to his lips unbidden. And it was the truth. It wasn't she he hated, but who she reminded him of. 

Louisa was too apprehensive to snort her disbelief. Instead, she said, "You've barely spoken a word to me since I arrived. And when we do find ourselves in the same room together, you glare at me. The devil would have been more friendly."

"I don't glare." Buck began to feel distinctly uncomfortable. He never expected his actions to be thrown back to his face. Especially by the shy Louisa. Giving her a sideway glance, he realized she was waiting for an explanation. "I've been busy," he said curtly.

Not for the first time, Buck thought about his actions. Everything Louisa said was true. He was morose and rude toward her, all because of a resemblance to someone he'd rather forget. His reasons, which he thought were valid, now seemed nothing but spiteful and childish. 

Buck nudged his horse into a slow trot, watching Louisa through narrowed eyes. Her startling emerald eyes were shadowed with pain. For the first time, Buck realized just how difficult he made life for her. She wanted nothing more but to fit in a situation, life she was thrown into. And his actions didn't help make her comfortable. 

That it took this long for her to confront him surprised him -- and disturbed him. I guess I'm used to strong women, he thought. Louise and Amanda would never have let him act morosely long without coaxing out an explanation. Or demanding one. 

But Louisa was different. He thought her shy when he first met her more than a year ago, thought her coloring was all wrong for a woman who was such a mouse. And yet, he saw the stubborn lift of her chin earlier and knew there was more passion in this woman than was readily apparent. He briefly wondered what it would take to stoke that fire and promptly berated himself. Buck searched for the resentment that fueled his antagonism for a week and found nothing.

"You are right. I've been extremely rude and I apologize for it. I was being unfair to you." 

Louisa was startled by the admission. In truth, she did not expect a response, much less an apology. Warily, she eyed the hand he extended towards her. 

"Friends?" Buck asked.

Louisa reluctantly placed her hand in his. She studied their joined hands, a symbol of a new friendship. And all I wanted was an explanation, she thought. But what she was given, she could not refuse. She gave him a brilliant smile. "Friends," she echoed firmly.

Buck let go of Louisa's hand. His heart had quickened at the sight of her slender hand in his larger one. It was a feeling he didn't dare explore. He nudged his horse into an easy walk, leading the way into the northern end of the ranch.

The silence was no longer strained, but it wasn't comfortable either. Both had no idea how to begin. Both had many questions they didn't dare ask, afraid the other would find the queries intrusive. But both were aware something needed to be said to break the strange tranquillity of their ride.

"Wonderful weather," Louisa finally observed.

He nearly laughed at her conversation-starter. He shot her a humorous glance, his lips twisting a grin. "Best we've had this year." He deliberately refrained from saying more, waiting for her to come up with another statement. He didn't have to wait long.

"You're not making this easy, you know," Louisa scolded gently.

"I didn't realize you wanted to talk. You didn't say much before." 

"Well, I was scared of you before," she responded candidly.

Buck frowned, unsure how to take the honest answer. "And you're not anymore?"

"Oh, I'm still quaking in my boots." Louisa grinned impishly. "But we're friends now."

"Of course," Buck said dryly.

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