Dusk had settled when Buck entered the kitchen through the back door and found Kid and Teaspoon seated around the long table. Amanda stood before a simmering pot of sweet-smelling stew while Lou watched the rolls baking in the oven. But the picture of domesticity was marred by the fact that the table was cluttered by guns of different makes and sizes. Buck's only reaction was to arch an eyebrow toward the pile of weapons. When he looked up, he found everybody staring at him with expectant expressions.

"Did you find anything?" Lou asked, wiping her hands on her apron.

Buck shook his head and tiredly swiped his dusty hat from his head. He tossed the hat on a peg near the door before pulling up a chair to join his friends at the table. He had missed John's funeral, choosing instead to go straight to the spot where the ranch hands found the young man's body. He had hoped to find tracks or any clue that could give them a hint to the killer's identity.

"Too many hoof marks around that area. Several footprints, too, but those could be our men," he said, frustration apparent in his voice. He drew a bandanna from his back pocket and wiped the sweat from brow. Then he picked up a Beckwood volley gun, grunting at its weight, and began cleaning it with his bandanna. 

"And?" Amanda impatiently demanded.

Buck let out a deep sigh. "What bothers me is that all of those hoof marks don't leave the ranch."

"Enemies within our midst," Teaspoon said softly.

Kid felt a prickle at the back of his neck as if something suddenly crawled across his skin. "Enemies within our midst," he repeated. Slowly, he put down the gun he was cleaning and looked up at Buck. "What if the killer is one of our men?"

Buck frowned. Behind him, Amanda and Lou gasped in disbelief. He had thought about it before but had dismissed the suspicion as soon as it came up. He couldn't imagine one of the ranch hands being the killer. He was quite as dismissive anymore. "But who? Except for John and his friends and Garrett, everybody's been with us for years."

John's friends. George. Kid recalled the flicker of amusement he thought he saw in the young ranch hand's face. "Maybe I'm grasping at straws here," he began, his eyes now fixed on his pale wife. "But at the funeral, I thought I saw something in George's face. Like he was smiling."

"But that young boy has always been so nice," Lou protested, unable to imagine the huge, awkward young man as a cold-blooded killer. She shuddered when she recalled the times when John, Ringo and George had looked after Jamie and Marylou.

"Then it wouldn't hurt to keep an eye on him," Amanda remarked as she turned back to the fire to take the heavy pot of stew from the fire and set it down on the hearth to cool.

"Fresh eyes," Teaspoon tossed in, his eyes focused on the revolver he was cleaning. He clamped down on the twinge of frustration he felt over being unable to help his boys more. But since he lost the use of his shooting arm, Teaspoon had been kept away from dangerous situations by Kid and Buck. As if I couldn't do as much damage with my left hand, he thought darkly before shaking the thought away. "All of us are too close to this thing here. We need somebody to take a look at this here with fresh eyes."

Kid nodded his agreement. "I'm a step ahead of you there. I had Richie go down to the telegraph office and send a message to Hickok ... and Cody, too. He needs to know what happened to Louisa," he said, oblivious to the mixture of guilt and resentment that crossed Buck's face. 

"Won't that raise suspicions? If Jimmy suddenly shows up?" Amanda wanted to know.

"Maybe," Kid shrugged. "But Hickok comes up all the time, so I don't think people will be too surprised to see him." Then he turned to Buck, who barely managed to school his expression, "We have to warn the others."

"We're not sure young George is the killer. What if he isn't? Teaspoon interjected. He shook his head, "No, no, warning the men might alert the killer."

"But keeping quiet about it might leave us with another dead body before the night is over," Kid argued.

"That's why we'll start keeping watch," Buck reasoned.

The darkened room was bathed in pearl gray light. He used the illumination from the full moon outside the window to guide his steps as he walked carefully toward the bed. The blankets lay in disarray at the foot of the bed as if they had been kicked. The woman in the middle of the bed lay on her side, curled in a tight ball, her hands crossed around her stomach, protecting a child that was no longer there. There was enough light for Buck to see the dried trail of tears in her face and his heart clenched and bled for Louisa.

Looking at the sleeping woman before him, Buck cursed his absent friend. How can you exchange life with this woman for a few months of mad adventure? How can you even bear to be separated from her? You leave her alone, unprotected and you think no other man would want her for his own? You leave her alone, unprotected from the evils of men? If I were you ... Buck broke off.  He had tortured himself with too many wishful thoughts, impossible dreams since that night he and Louisa kissed. Of Louisa at his cabin, greeting him with a hungry kiss after a long and hard day at the ranch. Of laughter and talks -- both serious and silly -- over dinner. Of cooling bodies still entwined after a night of tender lovemaking. Of gentle, early morning kisses. Of a precious toddler with red-gold hair and clear green eyes running circles around him and Louisa.

Buck's stomach clenched in a tight ball as he realized how Louisa must have dreamt of cuddling her own child. And now that dream was lost. All because lust rather than common sense filled his mind. If I hadn't been so weak, I would never have kissed and touched her, Buck reasoned to himself. She wouldn't have gotten angry with me and I would have been able to stay closer to her and protect her.  In Buck's mind, it was as simple as that. 

He reached out and carefully smoothed the blanket over Louisa's sleeping form, gently tucking the edges around her shoulders. With great difficulty, he resisted the urge to lift the curls away from her face, where it had fallen. Instead, he knelt by the bed. 

"I love you," he whispered. "I know I shouldn't, but I do. Buck's voice hitched as he added, "But I understand that you already belong to someone else. And even though I feel the urge to break Cody's face once in a while, he is a good man. Besides, life with a half-breed like me would have been hell and you don't deserve that."

He wanted to say more but the words wouldn't come. Buck settled back, hungry eyes memorizing every detail of Louisa's face to carry with him when she leaves his life. His focus was such that he didn't notice a figure step out of the room and the close the door softly behind it.

Lou entered her and Kid's bedroom and found her husband standing before the window of their second-floor bedroom. The lamp had been turned low so Jamie and Marylou won't be disturbed as they slept in cots that had been placed next to the huge bed. The babies, Peter and Susannah, lay in separate cribs at the foot of the bed. 

Kid turned at the sound of the opening door and smiled at his wife. It was such a sad smile that it brought a stab of pain in Lou's heart. She took the hand he extended toward her and allowed herself to be drawn into his arms. They stood silently for a long time, both facing the window, lost in their own thoughts. 

Kid made, discarded and came up with new plans to capture the remaining Raiders. 

Lou's thoughts were on the scene she just witnessed in Louisa's bedroom. She had suspected Louisa had feelings for Buck after their conversation earlier in the day. Louisa's questions had worried her a bit, she admitted to herself. And now to hear Buck confess of similar feelings ... what a mess! 

The sad part is, Lou thought, Buck and Louisa would have been right for each other. Buck is solid and steady. He has the stability Louisa needs. Add that to the fact that he is sweet enough to give Louisa the romance she craves. Louisa, with her innocent-view of the world, is just who Buck needs to soothe his cynical heart. 

Lou let out a deep sigh as she realized Cody was arriving anytime soon. Oh God, what a mess, indeed!

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