The Heart of the Matter

By Hope

I'd like to thank my great friend, Mary, for some special help she gave me while I was writing this. I'd also like to thank sweet Eva who maintains a list of fan fiction titles for all of us and is on call whenever I need her, and Kierin for posting this on the Tales of the Ponderosa site for me.

Note/Reminder: I did a story a few months ago where I brought Adam back from college, the family built the two-story house Bonanza fans are familiar with, and Adam got his other horse, Sport. Just wanted to mention that before you start reading this one in case you think this is a Bonanza and not a Ponderosa story.

A special thank you goes out to David Dortort for creating those wonderful Cartwrights and letting me borrow them. As always thanks to Matt, Danny, Drew, and Jared for their terrific portrayals of the Cartwrights which I try to capture in my tales.

The usual disclaimers apply. Rated PG.

Hope

The boys raced across the meadow as they had done so many times in the past. Chub, burdened with Hoss, maintained a distant third. Sport, the youngest of the horses and with Adam aboard, sped out in front, and Paint clung on for second place with Little Joe encouraging her on.

"C'mon, girl!" Little Joe called.

Adam glanced back at his brothers with a wry grin on his face and urged Sport on faster.

"Gol dang it!" Hoss pouted as he could see Adam's lead increasing. Poor old Chub did his best but couldn't come close to catching the other horses.

It looked to be a repeat of so many past races until Paint suddenly stepped into a hole and stumbled.

"Joe!" Hoss yelled as his youngest brother followed Paint down.

Adam glanced back, saw what was happening, and quickly reined Sport to a stop. "Joe!" Jerking the reins, Adam turned his horse and sped off back to where Little Joe and Paint lay struggling.

Hoss reached his fallen brother about the same time Adam leapt from his horse.

Little Joe had hit the ground and rolled a few feet away. He groggily tried to sit up as Adam and Hoss reached him and he grabbed his shoulder in desperate pain.

"Easy, Joe," Adam advised. Giving his brother a cursory look Adam asked, "Is it just your shoulder?"

Hoss bent down worriedly and scrutinized Little Joe, too.

Joe managed, "Yeah," then looked over to see Paint struggling. "Paint! Help her!"

He began to rise but Adam kept a grip on his other shoulder to keep him down. "Stay still." Adam got up along with Hoss and went over to examine Paint. Heedless of his eldest brother's orders, Joe got up and walked slowly over to his horse.

Adam and Hoss checked Paint over. It was obvious her right foreleg was broken. They exchanged resigned looks as Little Joe whispered, "No."

Hoss and Adam glanced up to see their youngest brother standing there. Hoss stayed with the horse to try and keep her still while Adam proceeded over to Little Joe.

Adam looked at Little Joe and said quietly, "I'm sorry."

Joe shook his head and pulled away. He understood what had to happen but couldn't bear it.

Adam drew his pistol as Hoss continued to try and keep Paint down so she wouldn't hurt herself further. Hoss nodded solemnly to Adam.

"Hold the other horses, Hoss," Adam asked. He knew both brothers would be deeply affected by what he had to do now.

Hoss got up and moved over to Chub and Sport, grabbing their reins in case the gunfire spooked them. He looked away. Little Joe couldn't stop the tears as he whispered, "Goodbye, Paint."

Adam's face assumed the detached look he'd worn on many other painful occasions in his lifetime. He moved closer to Paint and took careful aim while cocking his gun.

BOOM!

It was over just like that. Hoss held tight to the reins as the other horses shied at the sound. Adam turned away and holstered his gun. Little Joe stared at him with tears still falling. "You killed her!"

Adam closed his eyes for a moment and tried to maintain his stoic air.

Hoss tied the reins to a bush and came over to Little Joe. "He had to do it, Joe."

Little Joe's shoulder radiated with pain. He clutched at it while crying out, "He killed her!"

Hoss glanced over at Adam but his eldest brother continued to show no emotion. Adam unbuckled his gun belt so he could take his other belt off and then handed that belt to Hoss. "Better immobilize his arm, Hoss."

Hoss nodded slowly, took the belt, and walked over to Little Joe. Adam put his holster back on and kept his distance.

"Leave me alone!" Joe warned Hoss.

Once Hoss Cartwright set his mind to a task he finished it no matter what the circumstances. The protestations and groans of his little brother were ignored as Hoss finally managed to get Little Joe's arm secured. "There. Now take it easy, Little Joe. We'll get ya home."

Joe swiped the tears from his face and glared at both brothers this time. "I'll get myself home!"

Adam said calmly, "He can ride Sport."

Hoss again nodded. Adam retrieved the horses and brought Sport over by Little Joe. Joe glared at his eldest brother. "I don't need your horse!" He again grimaced as his shoulder seared with pain.

Adam remained patient. "Get on, Joe."

"No! I'll ride with Hoss!"

Hoss didn't like the way Little Joe had turned on their brother but knew how obstinate Joe could be when he got riled. "All right. You can ride Chub."

Adam stood by as Hoss helped their youngest brother into the saddle. Joe was seized by an intense dizzy spell but managed to hang on to the saddle horn.

Once Little Joe was settled, Hoss looked to Adam.

Adam extended his reins toward Hoss. "Get him home. I'll walk."

Home was about two miles away. Hoss hesitantly took the reins. "You sure?"

Adam nodded once. "Get him home."

"All right." Hoss mounted up. Sport, normally a high-spirited animal anyway, pranced nervously at having the different rider. Adam caught the bridle and patted him on the neck. "Easy, boy. Easy." Though still nervous, Sport settled down a little.

Adam released the bridle. "Get going, Hoss."

Hoss turned Sport toward home and Little Joe followed, bent over in pain. Adam watched them ride off slowly and shook his head. Eventually, he began walking off in the direction his brothers had gone.

************

About a quarter mile from home, Adam saw Hoss coming his way, riding Chub and leading Sport. Hoss finally reached him and Adam took the reins. Mounting up, he said. "Thanks."

Hoss studied his brother's face. "Adam, Little Joe didn't mean nuthin'."

Adam turned Sport in the direction Hoss had come and replied, "Uh huh." Fingering Sport's mane he asked, "Pa send someone for Doc Martin?"

"Yeah. Jasper's goin'."

Adam nodded and without further word the two brothers set off for home.

************

Ben had sent some of the hands out to bury Paint. Adam had insisted on helping with the task, more to stay out of the house and away from Little Joe than anything.

Doc Martin came to the ranch and attended to Little Joe's dislocated shoulder. Ben's heart twisted as he watched his youngest son bear the excruciating pain as the shoulder was snapped back into place.

As the doctor carefully secured Joe's arm to his chest to keep the shoulder immobile, Little Joe bravely fought back the tears yet was unable to suppress a gasp each time the shoulder was touched. Throughout the ordeal, Ben stood by and maintained a firm grip on Joe's good hand. Little Joe's brow beaded with sweat as at last the doctor finished his task. Doc Martin then gave Joe a sedative, telling Ben that should help him sleep through the night.

Ben left Hop Sing with Little Joe while he and the doctor went downstairs for some brandy and to fill Hoss in. Ben's middle son rose from the settee as soon as he saw the two men coming down the stairs. "How is he, Pa?"

Ben continued over to the brandy decanter and poured some brandy into two glasses. Handing a glass to the doctor he explained, "Paul says he'll be all right with rest and if he keeps the shoulder immobile for a little while."

Hoss blew out a long breath.

The doctor smiled at him. "Don’t worry about your brother, Hoss. He'll be just fine."

"That sher is good news, Doc."

Doc Martin downed his brandy. "Ben, I left you enough of the sedative powder for the next couple of days. I'll be back on Thursday to check on him and to see if he needs more."

Ben set his glass down. "That'll be fine, Paul."

The doctor grabbed his bag. "Well, I've gotta be going."

Ben took a step in his direction. "I'll see you out."

"No need. Goodbye, Ben. Hoss."

The two Cartwrights chorused their goodbyes and watched the doctor close the door behind him as he left. Ben turned to Hoss. "I'm going back upstairs. He's asleep but you can look in on him if you like."

Hoss's brow furrowed, not at Pa's words but as he considered whether or not to bring something up. He caught his father as he was about to turn toward the stairs. "Pa?"

Ben halted. "Yes?"

Hoss glanced down at his boots still debating whether to burden his father. Finally, he mentioned, "Little Joe's real mad at Adam."

Ben came over closer to him. "I know he's upset about Paint, but …"

Hoss cut in, "He's blamin' Adam."

"But it wasn't Adam's fault."

"I know. But Joe thinks it is."

Ben laid a hand on Hoss's shoulder. "Don't worry, Hoss. I'll have a talk with Little Joe when he's up to it and straighten it all out."

His son nodded hesitantly.

Ben squeezed the shoulder and repeated. "Don't worry."

Hoss half-heartedly smiled. He figured it was more serious than Pa realized but didn't feel the need to trouble him any further.

Ben smiled back encouragingly then headed up the stairs.

************

Hoss saw Adam and the men riding up and followed his brother as Adam led his horse into the barn. Taking the reins from Adam, Hoss offered, "I'll put 'im up, Adam."

Adam was tired and gratefully acquiesced. "Thanks, Hoss." Adam leaned against a post as Hoss attended to Sport. "How's Joe?"

Hoss shrugged as he pulled the saddle off and set it on the stall railing. "Doc says he'll be all right. Jus' needs some rest."

"That's good."

Hoss could see Joe's earlier words were still troubling Adam. As he began to brush Sport down, Hoss said gently, "Adam, Little Joe didn't mean nuthin' when he said them things. He was jus' upset."

Adam gave an unconvincing, "Uh huh."

"He knows you had ta do it."

"I hope so."

Hoss shrugged again as he brushed Sport's neck. "Heck. Jus' wait till he's better. You'll see."

"You're probably right." Again Adam's words were spoken unconvincingly. "I'll see ya at the house," he remarked and turned to go.

"See ya." Hoss stopped brushing and watched his brother leave the barn. He knew Adam better than just about anyone and could always tell when he was hurting. Hoss shook his head and resumed his brushing.

************

Dinner had been relatively quiet without Little Joe to keep things lively. Ben had reassured Adam that Joe wasn't really mad at him but had just been shaken up by what happened and Hoss concurred. Adam half-smiled and had gone along though he remembered the look in Little Joe's eyes and knew the incident wouldn't soon be forgotten.

After dinner, Ben worked on the books while Hoss braided a bridle. Adam murmured an excuse of going upstairs for something but the others knew he was going to check on Little Joe. Ben smiled a bit apprehensively as he watched Adam ascend the staircase. Hoss followed his brother's progress up with his eyes and could sense Adam's anxiety.

Once upstairs, Adam made his way down the hall but hesitated as he approached Little Joe's door. It was slightly ajar and Adam pushed it open the rest of the way but carefully so as not to wake his brother with the creaking of the door.

Little Joe was sleeping with his right shoulder heavily bandaged and in a sling, and his left hand gripping the injured shoulder.

"Poor kid," Adam whispered to himself. He came over to tuck the blanket tighter around Joe's shoulders but wasn't as gentle as he thought. Little Joe stirred and blinked then squinted his eyes awake.

Adam smiled down on him and said gently, "Hey, Brother. How ya doing?"

Joe turned his head away. "Leave me alone."

"Do you need anything?"

Joe winced from the pain but kept turned away from his brother. "No!"

Adam sighed then said softly, "I'm sorry about Paint, Joe."

Joe turned his head back and glared at his brother. "I hate you!"

Adam's jaw tensed as the words spewed forth. He again spoke softly. "I know you're hurting, but I …"

"Go back to Boston! We don't need you here!" Joe again averted his face and clutched at his injured shoulder.

Adam remained a few moments longer, hoping his youngest brother would calm down. He soon realized that wasn't about to happen. With one last glance at Joe, Adam quietly left the room.

************

Hoss dropped by about a half hour later to check on Little Joe. He'd hoped to see Adam in the room but there was no sign of him.

Walking over to the bed, Hoss studied his youngest brother who appeared to be sleeping. Turning to go back out, he heard a faint, "Hoss?" and came closer to the bed.

"Hey, Brother. How ya feel?"

Little Joe tried to shift a little on the bed and grimaced, clutching at his shoulder. "It hurts."

"I'll bet it does. I'll get Pa." He took a step but was halted as he heard Little Joe say, "Wait."

"Can I get 'cha somethin'?"

"Hoss, Adam shot Paint," Joe told him with his voice catching.

Hoss pulled a chair closer to the bed and sat down. "He had to do it, Little Joe. Remember? Paint's leg was broken.

"He shot her," Joe repeated.

"Aw, you wouldn't have wanted her ta suffer, would ya?"

"Why did he come back?"

Puzzled, Hoss asked, "From where?"

"From Boston. We don't need him."

"Now, wait a min …"

"We were getting along just fine without him!"

"Don't say that, Little Joe. He's our brother."

"Half-brother!" Joe again clutched at his shoulder.

Hoss countered with, "You and I are half-brothers, too."

"It's not the same."

Hoss frowned, frustrated. "Little Joe, yer hurt. You don't mean them things."

"Yes, I do! I hate him!"

Hoss quickly responded, "Stop sayin' that!"

"You're taking his side!"

"I ain't takin' nobody's side! But yer wrong ta blame Adam. We was all racin' and it was an accident."

"Shooting her wasn't an accident!"

"She was suffering, gol dang it!" He got up from his chair. "Adam had ta do it!"

This time Joe turned away from Hoss. "I want him to go back to Boston. Me and you were fine while he was gone."

Hoss realized he wasn't getting anywhere. He let out a long, slow breath and said, "Get some rest, Little Joe. I'll ask Pa ta give you some more medicine."

His brother didn't reply.

Hoss shook his head and left the room, surprised to find Adam just outside the door. "Adam?"

In the year Adam had been back from college, Hoss had noted Little Joe's increasingly hostile attitude toward their brother. Part of the time it was due to Adam's tendency to still treat Joe as a kid. Hoss knew nothing infuriated him more than that. Other times, Hoss couldn't figure out what had set Little Joe off at their eldest brother. Adam took it in stride more times than not, though occasionally their disputes had led to blows. Fortunately, Pa or Hoss had been around to intervene and no blood was ever shed.

Now, seeing the hurt in Adam's eyes, Hoss tried to think of something to chase that hurt away. "He don't mean it, Adam."

Adam asked, "Doesn't he?"

Hoss thought about it and bit his lip when he honestly couldn'tanswer.

Adam raised his eyebrows waiting for a response he could believe but when Hoss hesitated, acceptance shadowed Adam's eyes and he said, "It's all right, Hoss."

Hoss watched solemnly as Adam turned and walked down the hall to his room.

************

Hoss made his way down the stairs and found his father sitting in his red chair, reading a book and puffing on his pipe. Hoss lingered at the bottom of the staircase a few moments as he considered whether to say anything. "Pa?"

Ben looked up from his reading. "Did you check on Little Joe?"

Hoss came over to him, hands shoved in his pockets. "Yep."

"Well? How is he?"

"Uh, he needs some more medicine, I reckon."

Ben tapped his pipe out and rose.

"Pa, wait."

Ben looked at his son and knew when Hoss had something troubling on his mind. "What is it?"

Hoss plopped on the settee and stared at his hands he had clasped tightly together. "I think ya need ta talk to Little Joe."

Frowning, Ben asked, "About what?"

"He's sayin' turrible things about Adam."

Ben came over and took a seat next to Hoss. "What things?"

He disliked betraying Little Joe, but Hoss figured his brother was just confused. And he couldn't bear to see Adam hurt. "He said he hated Adam …"

Ben's frown intensified.

"…and he wished he'd go back to Boston for good."

Putting a hand on Hoss's shoulder, Ben told him, "He's confused and upset."

Hoss turned to his father with deep concern in his eyes. "Pa, he means it. And Adam heard him."

"Oh no." The image of his eldest son having heard those words flashed across Ben's mind, and he realized how much those words must've stung. Ben couldn't help but notice how Adam no longer seemed as close to his brothers as he had been before going away to college. And Ben knew the recent history with Adam and Little Joe and the quarrels that Joe seemed to instigate more times than not.

"Pa, ya gotta talk to Little Joe."

Ben squeezed Hoss's shoulder. "I will."

"I don't want Adam goin' away, Pa. Not again."

"I know, Son." Ben got up. "Neither do I."

Hoss smiled hesitantly then watched as his father went up the stairs.

************

Ben felt his youngest son's head and noted he was a little feverish. Joe slowly opened his eyes and whispered, "Pa?"

"How do you feel?"

Joe shifted slightly and grabbed at his shoulder, grimacing. "Ow."

Ben laid his hand on Joe's chest. "Easy, Son. Lie still." He reached for a glass and a packet of medicine and proceeded to mix the medicine in water.

Joe glanced blearily over to watch him. "What's that?"

"Just something to help you rest." He helped Little Joe raise his head and the glass to his lips.

Little Joe drank most of the medicine then settled back on the pillow, furrowing his brow as the pain once again seized him.

"Just rest now, Son."

"Pa?"

Ben straightened the blanket around his son's shoulders. "Yes?"

Joe was tempted to say something but at the last moment held back.

"Do you need something?"

Little Joe shook his head as the sedative began to cloud his mind. He whispered, "Adam …"

Ben leaned closer. "Do you want me to get Adam?"

Little Joe tried to focus on his father's face but he was clearly losing his battle with consciousness. He shook his head and whispered, "I hate him," then fell asleep.

Ben straightened up as the words from his now-sleeping son pierced his soul. Ben reached over to turn the lantern down then, unsettled, he left the room.

************

Ben went further down the hall and saw light coming from under Adam's door. He knocked and heard Adam say simply, "Come in."

Entering the room and closing the door behind him, Ben found Adam packing some things. "Where are you going, Son?"

"Sacramento." Adam continued to pack as he added, "I'm leaving first thing in the morning."

Ben sat on the edge of the bed. "Mind if I ask why?"

"This is a good time to go. The drive is over and you can spare me for a week or two. I thought I'd see if any bids are coming up and get details on them."

His father saw right through him. "Why don't you wait a few weeks?" He studied Adam's face as he dared suggest, "You can take your brothers with you when Little Joe's feeling better."

Adam stopped packing and eyed his father. Neither of them could fool the other. Adam said quietly, "It's better if I go now - alone."

Ben got up and came over to him. Putting an arm around Adam's shoulder he said, "Little Joe didn't mean those things he said, Adam."

Adam's jaw clenched and he looked off.

"Son, he was grief-stricken and hurt. When he's feeling better, he'll apologize."

Adam looked back at his father. "He meant them, Pa."

Ben shook his head but Adam reiterated, "He meant them," and resumed packing.

Ben stood there watching him for a brief time, unable to come up with words to soothe the ache in his son's heart. Finally, he told Adam, "We'll miss you."

Adam nodded slightly, knowing someone who certainly wouldn't.

Ben shook his head again, put his hand momentarily on Adam's shoulder, then left his son to his packing.

************

Adam was gone for two and a half weeks. Little Joe's shoulder healed though he still took it easy per doctor's orders.

Joe enjoyed the time his eldest brother was away and made inferences here and there that he wouldn't mind if it became a permanent arrangement. Each time the words left his lips he was silenced by his father or Hoss but he'd just shrug and walk away mumbling, "I mean it."

The day before Adam was due back, his father sat Little Joe down on the settee and Ben took his red chair. He gave Hoss and Hop Sing strict orders that they were not to be disturbed.

Little Joe got comfortable and put his feet up on the table in front of him. He'd been told hundreds of times not to do it but always seemed to want to tempt fate.

With an irritated glance, his father ordered, "Feet off the table, Joseph."

Joe grudgingly complied and waited for the anticipated lecture.

Ben had been dreading this talk, but he knew he had to get the matter settled. "Your brother's due back tomorrow."

Little Joe gave an unenthusiastic, "Yeah."

"I want this attitude of yours toward him to change - immediately."

Joe looked away.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you, Joseph."

Little Joe glanced his way but said nothing and folded his arms to his chest.

His father demanded, "Well?"

"Well what, Pa?"

"You know what. There's no reason for you to be so angry with him."

Joe sat up straight. "He killed my horse!"

"We've been over this and over this, Little Joe. Paint's leg was broken. Adam had no choice."

Joe again looked away. "He killed my horse."

Ben rose and came over to him. "This is nonsense. You're acting like a child."

Still turned away Little Joe retorted, "Am not."

If the situation hadn't been so serious, Ben would've chuckled at his son's response. "Look at me."

Joe faced his father with obstinacy in his eyes. "Why doesn't he go back to Boston? We don't need him."

Ben caught his arm and pulled him up. "Never say that again." It was said calmly yet the intensity reflected in Pa's eyes made his message clear.

Regardless, Joe he pulled his arm away and responded defiantly, "We don't. We did just fine all those years he was gone!"

"Joseph!" Ben warned.

Joe strode over to the fireplace. His back now faced his father. Ben couldn't fathom the hatred Little Joe was feeling toward Adam. He walked over and put a hand on Joe's shoulder to try a gentler approach. "What is it, Son? Why are you so angry with him?"

Joe muttered, "I hate him," as his voice caught.

Ben prodded Joe to face him and could see the moisture gathering in his eyes. "No, you don't."

Pa's three simple words gave Little Joe's defiance pause and ushered in turmoil and uncertainty. After a few moments, Joe collapsed to the stones in front of the fireplace unable to keep his deepest emotions hidden. Vainly fighting back tears, he implored, "Send him away, Pa."

Ben leaned down to try and calm him. He couldn't bear Little Joe's words yet also couldn't bear to see his son so despondent. Pulling Joe to him, he attempted to comfort him. "What's this all about, Son? Tell me."

"No," Joe whispered while swiping the tears away.

Ben again tried, patiently. "Tell me why you're so upset."

Joe sniffed and struggled for an answer, but when he couldn't find one just shook his head.

"Adam loves you, Little Joe."

Joe pulled away and got up. "Does not!"

Ben got up also. "Of course he does."

"Then why'd he leave me?" Realizing his errant word, he quickly corrected himself. "Us?"

Understanding at last dawned on Ben. He again softened his tone. "You know why he had to go back East. Adam loves to learn and there was nothing else for him to learn around here."

"But he was gone for four whole years!" Little Joe's voice choked as he went on. "He could'a come back to see us at least once in all that time! But he just didn't care!"

"That's not true, Joseph. You know the reasons he wasn't able to get back. One year he couldn't afford the trip, another year he was deathly ill with pneumonia. And the other time when he was scheduled to leave a friend of his died suddenly."

"He could'a come back if he really wanted to."

Ben watched his youngest son begin to shake from all the bitterness he'd kept pent up inside for so long. Ben went to the settee and indicated with his head for Joe to join him.

Hesitant, Joe just stood there.

"Please, Son?"

Little Joe finally came over and sat next to his father. With his arm around Little Joe's shoulder, Ben said gently, "Adam loves you, Joseph. You know he does."

"But …"

"Just listen. All right?"

Joe looked at his father solemnly and nodded.

"You can't imagine how much he missed all of us the whole time he was gone. But this was something he needed to do. And not just for himself. Look how his education has helped us already." Ben waved his arm toward the expanse of the room. "He designed this whole house for us." Ben studied his son, waiting for a response.

Joe again just nodded solemnly.

"He's come up with more efficient ways for irrigation and drainage, assisted with bids and contracts, helped design a way to shore up some of the roads around here, …"

"I know, but …"

With a look, Ben silenced him. "I'm not finished."

Little Joe sighed heavily and waited.

"Your brother's always had this incredible thirst for knowledge and also an intense desire to visit Boston, his birthplace. Now he's been able to go back East and see Boston and at the same time get a better education."

Ben watched his son's face as he continued. "Little Joe, remember before Adam left how restless he was - and unhappy?"

Joe tried to think back on those times. "Yeah, I guess," he muttered.

"He tried not to burden us but we all knew there just wasn't much to hold his interest around here."

Little Joe shrugged noncommittally.

"We gave him the time he needed to pursue his dreams and he's come back much happier and more fulfilled."

Joe flicked absently at one of his buttons on his shirt as he listened.

Ben made sure he had Little Joe's attention as he said, "I missed him more than you'll ever know, but if I had it to do over I'd let him go again."

Joe's brow furrowed as he contemplated his father's words.

"Son, if Adam could've come back to visit you during those years, he would've. Believe me."

Little Joe said softly, "But I broke my leg."

Picturing that period several years ago when Joe had fallen off Paint and broken his leg, Ben recalled how his young son had called out often in his delirium for Adam in those long days when the fever had set in. Squeezing Little Joe's shoulder, Ben told him, "Adam was devastated when he finally learned what had happened. But you know how slow the mail was and is going across country. He didn't find out until your leg had practically healed. Remember those letters he wrote you afterwards?"

Little Joe again thought back. Of course he remembered the letters. He'd kept them, though no one in the family knew to this day. "Uh huh."

"Why, I remember every time the mail came you rushed to town waiting for another letter from your brother. You got more letters from him than Hoss or I did."

Again the nod of the head.

"Look at me, Joseph."

Little Joe slowly looked up to meet his father's gaze.

"You don't really want him to go back East, do you? If Adam goes away this time, we may never see him again. Ever."

That last word struck Joe. His anger had been whittling away little by little and had now been replaced with a fear seizing his heart. He could barely be heard as he responded, "No."

For the first time, Ben smiled. "Do you mean that, Son?"

Again the silent nod.

Ben pulled his son to him and hugged him fiercely. Joe closed his eyes to try and fight off another round of tears. Releasing him, Ben asked, "He's due back tomorrow. What would you say to a welcome home dinner?"

Little Joe thought about it for a few long moments. Ben had begun to grow concerned the longer Joe kept silent until at last and with a slight twinkle in his eyes, Little Joe asked, "Can I pick the dessert?"

Relieved, Ben chuckled, "Yes. As long as it's strudel."

Joe found himself chuckling, too. They both knew apple strudel was Adam's favorite dessert. "Awwww."

Ben again pulled Little Joe into a hug. Releasing him, Ben got up and said, "Come on, Joseph. Let's tell Hop Sing tomorrow's menu."

Getting up to join his father, Little Joe teased, "Ya sure we can't have chocolate cake instead?"

Ben clapped him on the back, laughing again, and the two headed to the kitchen.

************

Adam reined Sport in as they reached the corral and he dismounted. Tired and sore from being in the saddle for the past several days, he gratefully handed Sport's reins over to one of the hands then headed to the house.

The remnants of the setting sun created a fading pink, red, and purple hue on the horizon as Adam walked the distance from the corral to the front door.

Removing his hat once inside, Adam glanced around and didn't see his family. He tossed his hat on the dresser by the door and came farther into the room just as his family appeared from the dining room chorusing, "Surprise!"

With smiles, pats on the back, and handshakes, Adam was welcomed home, somewhat taken aback by all the enthusiasm yet pleasantly surprised to see Little Joe welcoming him home along with the others.

Hop Sing appeared wearing a broad smile. "Dinner ready." Adam was grabbed by each arm by his brothers and escorted to his chair at the end of the table as Ben grinned and followed his sons.

Suspicious, though in a jovial way, Adam asked, "All right. What's going on?"

Hoss shrugged as he pulled Adam's chair out. "Nuthin'. Sit right here, Brother," he grinned while patting the seat.

Adam cocked an eyebrow then proceeded to check the chair, trying its sturdiness, and checked underneath for traps.

Innocently, Hoss asked, "What's the matter? Don't 'cha trust us?"

Little Joe wore a grin on his face.

Adam retorted as he sat down, "Not really."

His family chuckled and took their seats as Little Joe commented, "You know you got a suspicious nature, Brother?" as Hop Sing left the room to retrieve the food.

Adam smiled over at Joe, relieved that his brother seemed to truly be glad he was home, and Joe returned the smile. Ben picked up his napkin and watched his sons, cautiously optimistic that the peace would hold.

Hop Sing proceeded to bring out the different courses. He could tell Adam appreciated all his favorites being served, and Hop Sing accepted Adam's praises humbly.

As the family ate, they discussed some bids coming up that Adam had gotten details on, discussed his trip, and also talked about what had been going on around the Ponderosa while he was gone. The usually banter was exchanged about Hoss devouring most of the food, and, as Adam sat there, he continued to try and figure out what he'd done to deserve such a meal and such a welcome home.

During the dessert course, Adam set his fork down, folded his hands in front of him, and said, "All right. Let's have it."

Four faces radiating innocence looked back at him.

Ben took a sip of coffee then set his cup aside. "Have what, Son?"

Adam gestured around the table. "Why all this? All my favorites. And such a welcoming greeting. Don't tell me you missed me?"

Hoss guffawed, "Nah. Didn't even know you were gone."

Joe and their father chuckled.

Adam looked to Hop Sing. "I know it's not my birthday."

Hop Sin grinned, "Mr. Cartwright say cook all your favorites. Have plenty of food for you when you come home."

Adam's eyebrows lifted. "Did he now?"

"Yes. Hop Sing work hard all day for Number One Son."

Adam smiled. "Number One Son appreciates it, Hop Sing."

Hop Sing bowed, still smiling, and went back into the kitchen.

Adam again looked around at three grinning faces. "Well? Are you going to tell me?"

Joe shrugged. "Give a guy a welcome home dinner and he gets suspicious." He appealed to Hoss. "Some gratitude, huh?"

Hoss folded his arms to his chest. "Yep. Some gratitude."

Ben smiled as he told Adam, "We just missed you, Son, and wanted to welcome you home in style."

"That all?"

Adam's brothers nodded while grinning, and Ben replied, "That's all."

Adam leaned back in his chair and blew out a breath. "Whew. I thought for a moment I was dying and you wanted to break it to me gently."

The others laughed and Adam dove into his strudel.

************

The family finished their meal then split up - Ben upstairs to retrieve a book, Hoss out to the barn to tend a sick horse, and Adam strolled to the porch. That left Little Joe to himself as he tried to decide what to do. He knew what he needed to do but held back. It would be difficult for him and he wasn't sure he'd handle it right. Summoning his courage, he at last headed out to the porch, also.

Adam had taken his guitar with him and was sitting back in a chair with one leg up and crossed over the other, gently strumming his guitar.

"Adam?"

Adam stopped strumming and turned to see his youngest brother coming over to him. Smiling easily, Adam said, "Join me," and resumed gently playing the guitar.

Hesitant, Joe took a seat and watched his brother's fingers glide over the strings. The porch lanterns were lit and a brilliant moon shone over the land.

Joe seemed to be anxious yet uncertain about wanting to speak so Adam gave him the time he needed and continued to play the same, gentle tune.

Joe scrutinized his brother before saying, "Adam, I …"

Adam raised his eyebrows, encouraging his brother on.

Joe shifted nervously in his chair then tried again. "I - I'm sorry."

Realizing right away what he was referring to, Adam responded. "It's okay."

"No. I shouldn't have acted like that. It's just that Paint was …"

Adam stopped playing and said softly, "I understand, Joe."

No, this is too easy, Joe thought. He knew he needed to account for himself. He frowned as he told his brother, "I never meant it, Adam. I don't hate you. I was just confused and hurt and …"

Adam reached a hand out to grip Joe's arm for a moment. "It's over."

Little Joe studied Adam's face as he asked, "Can you forget it? And forgive me?"

Smiling, Adam nodded.

Joe relaxed a little and blew out a breath. "Thanks."

Adam leaned back and resumed fingering the strings as he looked over at Joe. "How's your shoulder?"

Little Joe absently rubbed at it with his other hand. "Better."

"That's good. Got you out of some chores, right?" he winked. He knew his youngest brother only too well.

Little Joe couldn't help grinning as he admitted, "Yeah."

Adam gave a low chuckle.

They heard a night bird call in the distance. Adam stopped playing and looked out past the barn. Setting the guitar aside, he got up and went to the front of the porch. Pursing his lips, his whistle answered the call as his brother got up and looked questioning at him.

Hoss was coming out of the barn around that time and came over to his brothers. "What's goin' on?"

Adam glanced over at him. "Get Pa," he asked calmly.

Curious, Hoss shrugged then went to the house and opened the door. "Hey, Pa!"

Their father appeared just as a horse whinnied and a rider came galloping into the yard over near the barn. Adam stepped down and headed over in the moonlight to greet the visitor. His puzzled family followed.

An Indian riding an Indian pony and leading another horse dismounted just as the Cartwrights reached him. The Indian walked up to Adam while holding the horses' leads and clasped Adam's arm in greeting.

"Young Wolf," Adam acknowledged with a smile.

Young Wolf tightened the grip on Adam's arm and said, "My brother," then released his hold.

Adam indicated with his hand, "You remember my family?"

The Indian glanced at them and nodded once.

Ben spoke up. "It is good to see Adam's friend and brother, Young Wolf."

Adam and Young Wolf had been boyhood friends and had hunted and roamed the Washoe for years.

Ben added, "How is your father?" He was speaking of Chief Winnemucca - Chief of the Paiutes.

"He is good."

"What brings you out here, Young Wolf?" Hoss asked.

"Yeah," Little Joe wondered. "We haven't seen you in a long time."

"I bring horse for Adam Cartwright." He extended the rope lead of the other horse to Adam as Adam's still-puzzled family looked on.

Smiling, Adam accepted the rope and patted the horse on the neck. Then he looked to his friend. "Young Wolf has done his brother a great deed. It will not be forgotten."

Once more the Indian nodded and then responded, "We will meet in two moons, my brother."

Adam concurred. "Yes. At the place of the running stream. We will hunt as in days gone by."

If Indians were capable of grins, Young Wolf's mouth reflected one now. "And I will try once again to teach you how."

Adam was joined by his family in laughter. The Indian jumped on his pony and, after lifting a hand in a goodbye gesture, was gone into the night.

Adam watched him go then looked over at his bewildered family.

"Well?" his father asked.

Innocently, Adam informed him. "He brought me a horse."

"I can see that. Why?"

Adam teased his family with his silence and began leading the horse closer to the porch. The light cast off by the lanterns on the porch brought the horse into better view. The family could see it was a black and white pinto and appeared to be of good stock. Hoss examined the animal as did Little Joe.

Adam indicated the horse and asked Joe, "Look familiar?"

Little Joe looked over at Adam then, curious, he scrutinized the horse better. Recognition suddenly dawned on Joe. "It's him!"

Their father and Hoss weren't sure what was going on. Hoss muttered, "Huh?"

Astonished as he again looked the horse over, Little Joe patted it while repeating excitedly, "It's him!"

Adam smiled. "Yep."

"Pa! Hoss! This is the horse Adam and I saw about a month ago with the wild herd! Remember I told you about him?"

The two men vaguely recalled the conversation.

Exuberant, Little Joe looked to Adam. "He gave him to you?"

"Well, actually …" Adam said calmly, "…he helped me catch him.

Hoss asked, "When?"

"After I came back from Sacramento. I stopped by his village on the way home."

Ben had been checking the animal over, too. "That's why you said you'd be delayed a few days getting back."

Adam nodded. "See, I knew this fellow who needed a horse and knew that just any horse wouldn't do."

A grin had begun to form on Ben's face.

Adam continued. "So an old friend offered to help me catch the best horse in the territory." He grinned as he put in, "Aside from Sport, of course."

Little Joe's jaw dropped as he comprehended what his brother was saying. Hoss had a sparkle in his eyes as he realized what Adam had done.

Adam held the horse's lead out to his youngest brother. "Wasn't easy but I figured this horse was worth it."

Speechless, Joe took the rope, stared at it in his hand, then looked up to his eldest brother. He whispered, "He's mine?"

Adam just grinned.

Happiness overwhelmed Little Joe as he patted the animal. With a catch in his voice, Joe said, "Thanks, Adam."

"My pleasure."

Ben and Hoss's smiles broadened. Adam attempted to remain reserved as always but his family could tell he was pleased with Joe's reaction.

"He's not broken yet," Adam reminded his youngest brother.

Grinning from ear-to-ear Little Joe said confidently, "I can break him."

Ben wasn't so sure. "Maybe your brothers can help a little."

Hoss clapped Joe on the back. "Yeah. Or maybe he'll break you," he guffawed.

"Awwww," Little Joe laughed.

The family moment was interrupted by Adam's, "There's just one thing, Joe."

Somewhat wary, the other three waited for him to finish his statement. Adam was very cognizant of the fact that they were waiting for him and delayed a little longer. At last he noted wryly, "Sport's faster."

A moment of silence descended as his brothers and father took in the words. Suddenly laughter filled the air as the words' meaning registered.

Adam turned and headed to the house, grabbing his guitar on the way. Joe watched him go then happily led his horse toward the barn. As they neared it, the pinto reared but Joe held on to the lead, thrilled with the horse's spirit. Ben and Hoss watched slightly concerned from the porch area. The horse settled down as Joe talked calmly to it and the two proceeded on into the barn.

Ben put his arm around Hoss's shoulders and, indicating the direction of the barn, commented, "He'll probably sleep in there tonight."

Hoss grinned, "Yep. I figger the horse won't leave his sight fer at least a week."

"You're probably right, Hoss." Ben smiled and squeezed Hoss's shoulder, repeating, "You're probably right."

A thought suddenly occurred to Hoss and he frowned.

His father noted the look and asked, "What is it?"

"Pa, ya think this thing between Little Joe and Adam is over now? I mean Little Joe wanting him ta go away and all?"

Ben thought about it for a moment before answering. "I think so. I had a long talk with him yesterday, and I think your brother did some growing up before we finished."

"Huh?"

Ben leaned against a porch post as he attempted to explain. "I think Little Joe's been carrying around a lot of anger at Adam for having gone away to college and for never getting back to visit him during those years."

"But that's all over."

"I know. But Little Joe felt deserted by his brother. And he's kept those feelings inside ever since instead of talking it out with Adam or anyone else."

Hoss scratched his chin. "Hmmm. Is that why he's always pickin' fights with Adam?"

Ben snorted slightly. "Probably. But we talked it all out and I think he understands now why Adam had to leave and why he couldn't get back for a visit. And Little Joe does seem to be getting along better with Adam today."

Hoss felt his father was holding something back. "But?"

Ben let out a long breath and said a bit wearily, "But you'll always be brothers and sometimes brothers fight. I'm sure Little Joe and Adam will continue to have their problems occasionally but hopefully not as serious as this time."

"I sure hope not."

"I'm counting on you, Hoss," Ben grinned, "to keep your brothers from killing each other."

Hoss screwed up his face in a grimace and retorted, "Dang. Maybe I'll move back East, Pa."

Ben put in, "And maybe I'll go with you, Son."

Chuckling, Ben clapped Hoss on the back and prodded him toward the front door.

THE END.