Hell Hath No Velvet Trap By Fires Unseen

Halloween Challenge

by MyLady2

 

 

 

 

Disclaimer: The characters and situations of the TV program "Big Valley" are the creations of Four Star/Republic Pictures and have been used without permission.  No copyright infringement is intended by the author.  The ideas expressed in this story are copyrighted to the author.

 

 

 

 

Three witches are known in legend for the disaster they brought upon a house, a loyal subject, and a king. Three witches who will now bring their lunacies and prophecies upon a house in the new world and the West. The house of Barkley and one loyal man … a Barkley son … will be the subject of their spells. That Barkley son is Heath Morgan Thomson Barkley Esquire, sort of...

 

A cold icy wind whipped through the french doors as they slapped open into the room, whirling leaves and bits of dirt from the porch flew in and laid claim to the rug covered floor. The blond rancher scurried to the doors to secure them but a woman pushed herself in as if blown by the wind and fell into Heath arms, fainting dead away.

 

She had long blonde hair and was wearing a green dress.  Heath recognized it as one of his sister Audra's dresses. He carried the woman to the red sofa in the room.

 

"Boy howdy!  Miss?  Wake up, Miss."  Heath gently tried to awaken the blonde beauty with a few light taps on her face. Her sapphire eyes fluttered open, she sprang up and grabbed at his tan vest, clutching the lapels in her dainty hands.

 

"You have to help me you have to, please!"  Her eyes filling with heavy tears.

 

"Yes ma'am, be glad to but, what can I help ya with?"

 

"I'm being chased! A man; he's after me! You must stop him!   A man dressed all in black; his eyes!  You should see his eyes! They shine with evil!  And his voice, like the devil's own, deep and gruff!  Oh please you must save me from him!"

"Who is he?"

 

"I don't know, I've never seen him before but he follows me every where."

 

"He follows you everywhere?  But you've never seen him before. How do you know it's him?"

 

"Because of the bells.  He jingles bells when he walks."

 

"Like Santa Claus?"

 

"No of course not....There!  Do you hear that?  It's him!  You have to hide me! Please!"

 

Before Heath could stop the blonde she ran out of the room into the foyer.  "Hey wait lady! Don't go!"  Heath yelled, hot on her trail.   But the beautiful woman disappeared as fast as she came, nowhere to be found.

 

The front door burst opened and Nick Barkley strode confidently in, wearing his black leather jacket, (looking very fetching indeed), his spurs digging a jangling tune into the bare floor as he walked.

 

"Hell of a night Boy! Where is everybody?" He pulled off his wet black leather gloves and slammed the door shut. The rain had made all his clothes shiny like the black patent leather shoes Catholic school girls weren't allowed to wear.  

 

"You didn't happen to see a beautiful blonde woman run pass here didja?"

 

"A beautiful blonde eh?  No, I woulda remembered that!  Ya let her go? Boy what is yer problem?"  He barked, ever so passionately.   "Sometimes I think yer dumber than a post when it comes to women.  I'm gonna take a bath and get this trail dust offa me, I got dirt in places I didn't know had places!"   Nick complained as he took the stairs two at a time, showing off his tight fitting dark pants with every step.  (again looking very fetching)

 

The large oak door flew open again with a rumble, sending the big hideous planter in the corner, crashing to the floor, spilling dirt on the rug.  A woman dressed in an awful yellow traveling dress, that even Audra Barkley wouldn't be caught dead in, bounded into the house.  She dived to pick up the dirt that had fallen from the planter and smeared it on Heath's face as she attacked him with smothering kisses.

 

"AHHH, Barkley dirt!  I love Barkley dirt!!!" The dark haired molester continued to earnestly kiss Heath, but when she started to use her tongue, he pushed her away. 

 

"Whoa lady, easy!  I ain't Nick, I don't go for that kinda stuff, don't know where that tongue's been ya know! Boy Howdy!"

 

"Nick, Nick, who needs Nick when I have you my darling Heathen!"

 

"Ah,, it's Heath ma'am, my Mama didn't raise me to be no heathen.  Hey don't I know you?... Oh...Boy Howdy, you're Hester Converse!  You best be outta here lady! Doncha ya come near me now!"

 

Tried as he might, Heath couldn't push the ravenous woman away.  Her hands found their way around his neck and she kept pulling him in a chokehold.  Mumbling about how much she loved Barkley dirt and splaying him with wet kisses.

 

"Lady! Ya gotta let me go!" He pulled at the locked arms gripping his neck.

 

"All right I'll let you go but I insist you must dance with me!" She grabbed his shoulder and cupped his hand in hers."

 

"Sorry ma'am I ain't much fer dancin'.  Maybe Eugene would.....Oh never mind he's not here anymore."

 

Suddenly the wind took up a vicious howl and standing in the open doorway was a petite blonde woman, gun drawn.  She lovingly wiped the gun barrel with a blue bandana.

 

"Hold up there!  Git yer grimy paws off my man! Or I'll plug ya full of holes, witch!"

 

"Who is this saddle tramp Heath who passes herself off as a woman?!"  Hester spat out.

 

"Dilly!!!" Heath shouted in surprise.  "Easy now Dilly, take it easy!  ....NICK!!!!"

 

But unfortunately Nick was busy enjoying a nice hot bath.  The blonde woman in the green dress was scrubbing his back with one hand and stroking the black leather jacket with the other.

 

"Oh Nick, you're so sexy!"  She purred, rubbing her cheek along the leather collar of the jacket.

 

"Is that a fact?"  He smiled with impish glee.

 

 

   * * * * * * * *

 

 

Lightening clapped, the lights in the house went black and a single gunshot rang out.  The sound of falling bodies was heard. 

 

"OOHH NICKKK!!!!"  The blond cowboy yelled from downstairs.  But sadly Nick couldn't hear his brother's frantic call.   Only the top of his wet dark head remained peeking out of the white foamed bath water.   The black leather jacket and the blonde in the green dress were both gone. 

 

Lightening clapped again and Heath saw blood spreading across his mother's carpet, but the bodies of both women were gone.  The front door crashed open again, with another clap of thunder.   A wooden figure dressed in rolled up cuffed blue jeans, and wearing a red, blue, and yellow plaid long sleeve shirt stood before Heath.   From the bottom of his red and white cowboy boots to the top of his freckled face redhead he only stood four feet high.  A permanent smile was painted on his face as he clopped menacingly toward the hapless blond adonis of a cowboy.  (that was for the heathens)

 

"Whhooo are you?"  Heath stammered out fearfully as he pushed himself back against the wall by the stairs.

 

"Don't you recognize me Slick?  You've been calling me ever since you were a little peanut."

 

"Callin' you?  I..I.. don't... understand..."

 

"I'm the boy Howdy."

 

 

 

 

THE END