Good clean scares
Distribution: Anyone
who wants it can have it. Just lmk where you're taking it.
Classification: Humorous
Rating: G
Summary: Willow prepares to torture Xander.
“Willow, what are those?” I asked with trepidation. Willow grinned
at me and proceeded to drag some torturous implements into my room.
“These, my dear Xander, are going to be your salvation,” she informed me
with an evil smile. I gulped. Willow had a strange look in her eyes.
“You know I don’t allow anything harmful to my health inside this room,” I
insisted, with a touch of fear. “Take those back out of here, now.”
“No. I’m going to use them,” she proclaimed. My eyes widened
in horror.
“Willow, you can’t mean that,” I protested. “I promise, I’ll be
good! Just, take them away!”
“Xander, what’s the big deal?” she asked. “I mean, you’ve seen
them before. You’ve even seen me use them before. I’ll be
gentle, I promise.”
“Will, I don’t care that you’ve used them before!” I howled. I
glared at the offending instruments. “And I don’t care how gentle you
are. You are *not* using them!”
“Of course I am,” she scoffed.
“What are you going to use them for?” I asked fearfully.
“What they’re intended for,” she replied with a shrug. She eyed me.
“I have to go get some more stuff. That stuff better still be here when
I get back.” She turned and left, and I stared in misery at the things
that lay, seemingly innocent, against my wall. When Willow returned, I
made one last impassioned plea to save myself.
“Will, please, I beg you. I’ll do whatever you want. I promise
I’ll do my own trig homework next year,” I offered.
“Xander, jeez, what is the *problem*?” she cried.
“Willow, it’s gonna hurt when you use those,” I whimpered.
“For God’s sakes, Xander! It’s just a vacuum cleaner, a dust cloth,
and a garbage can!” she sighed.
“Don’t touch my room,” I begged.
“Xander, whether you like it or not, I’m cleaning your room,” she
insisted. “Now, are you going to help me or not?”
I couldn’t tolerate the destruction of my carefully preserved haven, so I did
what any guy in my situation would do. I ran.
“Guys,” I heard Willow sigh. “Can’t they clean anything of their
own?”
