Chakotay sat at his desk, finishing the last of the personnel reports. He had already completed the duty roster for the next day, as well as the next week after that. A spot itched on his neck, and he absently scratched it with one hand, his other tapping keys on the console.
The door chirped. “Come in,” he called. A very haggard and tired-looking Captain Janeway entered, carrying a stack of padds.
“I haven’t finished all of these,” she told him by way of greeting, “But you’re more then welcome to review what I have.”
He shot a concerned look at her. “When’s the last time you slept?” he asked.
“Last night,” she told him, a rueful smile on her face. “Right after the pool match in Sandrines.”
“Pool match? The one that didn’t get out until after 0300 hours?” Chakotay leaned his hand into his chin, his dark eyes even more concerned.
“The one and only,” she rubbed at her neck. Beating people at pool wasn’t getting any better – in fact, it was starting to feel boring. She felt as though she could handle purposely losing a few games.
“I’m surprised anyone will play against you any more,” he took most of the padds from her.
“You read my mind.” Kathryn set the rest down next to them.
“In all seriousness, Kathryn,” he commented. “You really should take better care of yourself.”
“Please,” She held up her hand. “If I hear one more lecture, from you or the doctor, I’ll demote someone.”
“I highly doubt you could demote the hologram, Kathryn,” Chakotay said mildly, an amused grin quirking the corners of his mouth. “And as for demoting me, just for telling you what part of my job requires me to do…”
“And you know perfectly well that both of our jobs require us to be on duty 24 hours a day.” she rubbed her eyes.
Silently he stood behind her, placing his hands on her shoulders. “The ship won’t fall to pieces if you take an evening off, Kathryn,” he told her quietly. “I really don’t think that red alert klaxons will start going off and a hull breach will occur – unless it’s from the collective gasp of the crew sucking the oxygen from the ship.”
Chakotay chuckled, but Kathryn didn’t. She was uncharacteristically quiet, but he could feel her tense underneath his fingers. A shudder rippled through her. “Kathryn?” he asked, bewildered, turning her around.
Her eyes were glazed with tears, bright blue and shining. “Kathryn…what’s wrong?” Kathryn Janeway, crying? This was serious.
“Am I really that bad?” she asked Chakotay in a whisper, choking.
“Kathryn,” Chakotay murmured her name tenderly. “You have got to know when to stop…and you just don’t. It’s all right. It’ll be all right. You just need some time to yourself…even a few hours. You work so hard for everyone else that sometimes you forget about the most important person of all – yourself.”
“When we found ourselves flung into the Delta Quadrant,” she insisted, wiping at her cheeks even as the tears trickled down them, “I promised this crew that I would get them home.”
“And you will,” Chakotay cupped her face in his large hands, wiping at the tears himself now, with his thumbs. “But I don’t think one evening without you investigating the latest engineering report or anomaly will in any way slow down that journey. You’ll get us home Kathryn, but if you don’t stop this and take some time out for yourself what will you be like when you do?
“I know that, being the Captain, you have a lot on your mind, and your shoulders, but some of it – in fact a lot of it -- you’ve put on yourself. And you’ve denied yourself some basic human needs.”
“Such as?”
“Such as companionship, maybe. Or how about friendship? Everyone needs someone to talk to, Kathryn.”
“I’ll be all right, Chakotay.” Kathryn insisted, but despite her assurances to both of them the tears still threatened to come forth in all their glory. “Really.”
“No, you won’t.” Now Chakotay gripped her upper arms firmly, being careful not to hurt her. In comparison to him she was still strong, but she was also much smaller. He twisted a little and looked at the chronometer. “It’s 1800 hours. Take the rest of the night off, until your duty shift tomorrow. Don’t look at a single report or padd – unless it’s for enjoyment.”
“Commander -- ” She said in her best ‘command’ tone and tried to break free of his grip, but he held her firmly.
“No.” This time, Chakotay stood firm. He wouldn’t allow himself to back down. “Either take the night off or you’re coming with me to sickbay, and we can have the doctor tell you the same thing.”
For a minute Chakotay actually thought that he was going to have to throw her over his shoulder and do just that…before delivering himself to the brig and avoiding the embarrassment of a security detail. Then something inside of her seemed to crumble, and from the expression on her face all he could do was wrap her in his arms and hold her.
It surprised him more than it did Kathryn, one minute they were simply standing face to face and the next minute she was enfolded in the warmest, most comforting embrace she had felt since her father died. He expected her to push him away…but she didn’t. He expected her to throw a fit…and she didn’t. Her head rested on his chest, her cheek soft and smooth against the roughness of his uniform, one of his hands around her shoulders and the other around her waist. Hers slid under his arms, up his back, her hands resting on his shoulders.
Kathryn’s reaction was that of a curious child that had never been comforted in her life and was experiencing the feeling for the first time. It didn’t matter to her; it had been over a year since she had embraced someone or had any affection returned, the only person on the ship that had ever done so in the first place was Kes, and she didn’t want to think about that right now either, the tears would come again and she’d be asleep on her feet. Not that it wasn’t a nice place to fall asleep either, come to think of it…and then she quickly stopped thinking of it.
“I tell you what,” Chakotay’s breath was warm in her hair as he placed a kiss in it. Another shock. Kathryn’s body actually twitched as though a current had run through it. “Why don’t you go back to your quarters and get changed. Have dinner with me?”
Kathryn couldn’t speak. If she had the lump in her throat would burst. She simply nodded, but Chakotay didn’t release her. “Kathryn, Kathryn,” he murmured, almost reverently, his fingers on her shoulder increasing the force of their grip into her muscles.
“Chakotay…” she whispered, turning her face into his chest. His hands moved to the sides of her face again, tipping it up and lowering his mouth to hers. Their lips brushed together. When he drew back the love in his eyes was as naked as a baby, but so was the curiosity and the fear of being rejected. For a moment neither one of them moved, or blinked. Kathryn didn’t think she even breathed.
“Go get changed,” Chakotay kissed her again, gently, but allowing his lips to rest fully on hers. It took her breath away. He turned her around, his arm draping across her shoulders, and walked her to the door. “I’ll see you back here in, say, ten minutes?”
Kathryn nodded, twisting her head around to look at him once more. Her eyes were still wide open in surprise and shock, but she was beginning to regain some feeling in her body, feeling that had been swept away at the moment he drew her into his arms.
She hurried to her quarters; they were right next door to each other after all. Less then 20 meters apart. In fact their bedrooms shared a wall. Inside the comforts of hers, she shed her clothing quickly, putting on a loose-fitting white shirt that buttoned up the front and black pants that were a little tighter then she was accustomed to, but they were all right, she decided, for dinner with a friend. Although from the look in Chakotay’s eyes it was quite obvious he would like their friendship to continue down another path…she didn’t want to think about that either. She did, though, choose a bit more racy undergarment set then normal – a white lace bikini cut pair of panties and matching bra, half-lace half-regular satin material that covered her small but still pert breasts. They could get damned uncomfortable under the uniform, and the wool itched against her legs…but she wasn’t in uniform now, was she?
Chakotay had had enough time to prepare a good meal for them. Kathryn saw that as soon as he let her back in to his quarters – flowers stood on a table in between two place settings, corn pudding and a simple salad set out along with bread and butter. His hands rested gently on her shoulders, fingers rubbing in circles, giving her goosebumps as she took it all in. “Do you like it?” his voice whispered in her ear.
Kathryn could only nod. He caught her hand and led her to the table, putting the food on her plate and watching curiously the whole time that they were eating. She didn’t know whether to be nervous or flattered. Duty talk eased its way into small talk, and soon, plied with the good edibles he had served, she was laughing.
“Do you want some coffee? Or some more water?” Chakotay asked her, when they were both sighing in contentment, their bellies full.
“No, thank you, Chakotay,” Unconsciously her hand went across the table and grasped his, her thumb resting on his wrist as her lips smiled at him again. He returned it, turning their hands over to run his fingers along her palm.
“Feeling better?”
Another nod. “Yes, thanks,” she drew back to wipe her lips with her napkin and proceeded to gather up the dishes. “This was wonderful. I don’t know as that’s the right word to describe it, but…”
Kathryn almost dropped what she was holding as she felt him come up behind her, his breath hot on her neck. She managed to deposit the dishes in the recycler before turning to face Chakotay. His dark face was a mixture of curiosity, fear and longing, just as it had been before they had eaten. His fingers squeezed her shoulders again. “I think…” he told her, deadly serious, “that you haven’t quite relaxed yet.”
“What?” she managed to stutter. His touch was intoxicating.
“Shh.” Now his hands found her mouth, pressing firmly against her lips as he tilted her head upward. “You know, in all those pages of StarFleet protocol, there’s no protocols for what a Captain lost in the Delta Quadrant should do to loosen up. Oh there’s plenty about what she shouldn’t do, and can’t do, but nowhere in them do they state what a captain really…needs.”
And just what do I need, her mind asked the words her lips couldn’t, not with his hand over them.
Chakotay’s eyes twinkled for a minute before removing his hand. Before she could protest he replaced it with his lips, kissing her softly, gently, tasting her. She couldn’t hold back her reaction any longer. Desperately she put her arms around his strong torso and hugged him close, her fingers entwining in the short black hairs of his neck and gripping a handful of the soft shirt he wore.
He broke the contact gently, guiding her head back to his shoulder, tucking it underneath his chin and rocking back and forth. “Are you all right?” he asked her softly. The only response was a nod. “I realize…” he faltered, taking a deep breath. “I realize that it has been a long time for you – for both of us – Kathryn, I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You can’t,” she said against his chest before she thought. “You can’t.”
His smile was soft, even though she couldn’t see it, his cheek resting in her soft hair. He brushed her face with his fingers, feeling her soft skin underneath, brazenly aware of the way her breasts pushed against his shirt and his own growing hardness that was probably twitching against her belly.
“Kathryn,” he pushed her away enough to look at her, his thumbs tickling the tiny hairs on the edges of her face. “For once…just once, maybe…why don’t you let someone take care of you?”
Tears spilled from under her lids, and he kissed them away. “I know its hard,” he continued softly, his hands sliding down from her face to caress her collarbone, then start to undo the buttons on the shirt she wore. “I know you feel so vulnerable that you can’t bear to let anyone inside, because if you do, you might get hurt. But I won’t hurt you Kathryn. And the only way that you’re ever going to believe that is to let me in and give me a chance.”
She gasped as his hands came into contact with the skin of her abdomen, tracing her stomach before gripping the upper garment and sliding it off of her skin. His fingers seemed to burn trails in her arms and leave shivers behind. Self-consciously she wrapped her arms around her breasts and started to turn away from him, but he stopped her.
“No.” his voice was firm. “You’re not going anywhere.”
To ease the fear that he saw jump into her eyes, he made his touch soft and gentle, more so then it had before. He reached behind her and undid the clip to her bra, kissing along her shoulder and into her neck. She moaned as her hands fell away, arching her neck and pushing her shoulders back, allowing the bra to drop to the floor. Chakotay gasped himself when he saw her perfect, pert breasts, the pale mounds of creamy skin with their nipples already growing tighter, and darker, as they filled with blood.His kisses continued, up the contour of her face, along her ear.
“Are you warm enough?” he asked, feeling her shudder underneath him, asking the question while pressing his lips to her hair.
“Yesss…” Kathryn whispered, holding him again, her own hands fumbling at the buttons of his shirt. Every nerve ending in her body felt amplified somehow, alive, tensed and waiting.
Chakotay’s soft ebony eyes locked on her sapphire ones, a small smile on his face watching her undressing him as he had her. As soon as his shirt slipped from his muscles he gathered her close to him, pressing his skin against hers.
“God I want you,” she whispered, bringing his head down to hers again, their tongues meeting in a kiss that seared through both of them. Chakotay felt his erection throb in his pants, against her softness; he slid a leg gently in between hers, pressing against her nub, holding her closer, almost supporting her totally, as she gave a ragged moan that ended in a sob.
Kathryn pressed against him, wanting to feel every inch of her skin against his, burning with desire as his tongue explored her mouth. Though there was a hungering intensity, it was still gentle. She marveled at how he could feel this way. His hands sent tingles through her when he slid them up to her shoulders, gripping with firmness, and her knees buckled when he ran them over her breasts.
“I’m sorry,” he caught her by the wrists, supporting her, pressing his lips to her hair and cheek before completely gathering her in his arms.
Kathryn’s head lolled and rested on his shoulder. “Don’t be,” she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed parts of his skin within her reach. He moaned and shuddered, feeling her tongue tease the contour of his ear and suckle the lobe gently.
“Kathryn…” he whispered reverently, laying her down on her bed, nestling her into the thickness of her comforter and pillows. “You are so very, very good…” Chakotay carefully placed himself over her, enough for her to feel him above her and yet give her room to breathe. His large, rock-hard thigh slipped between her legs, his pulsing erection against her belly, laughing in delight as she bucked and ground against him of her own will, relieving the pressure built up inside.
“Chakotay…” her voice became a ragged whisper as her breathing increased slightly, her mouth set in a thin line that only made him surge through with love and tenderness, kissing her forehead and cheeks as he watched and felt her against him.
The wetness from Kathryn’s coming seeped through her pants and into his. He could feel the intense heat even through the material. Her back arched, her head thrown back, with a thin sheen of sweat over her brow, she had never looked more beautiful to Chakotay. He laughed with delight as she went limp, surrounding her more with his body, kissing down her neck and stomach to cup her breasts in his hands.
The warmth of his body was intoxicating. Kathryn felt him slide down, cup his hands over her breasts, tickle and caress the soft mounds. He tenderly pinched and suckled her nipples, causing them to darken slightly as they filled with blood and the tips became pointed nubbins, peaking and only making him want to taste more of her. Her hands wandered to his face, watching him, caressing through his hair, locking onto the short hairs above his neck.
She had to let go when he slid lower, in one fluid motion sliding her pants from her legs. Unconsciously she bent them at the knees, parting her thighs, allowing him to inspect the bikini-cut lace white undergarment she’d donned earlier. His fingers slid under the waistband, the caring, loving, tender smile on his face as he slid along the creamy-pale skin. Her back arched when Chakotay removed his finger to press against the edges of her floss, down the contours at the apex of her pleasure, gasping when he moved the panties aside.
“What…are you doing?” Kathryn managed, a tremor in her voice, her hands seeking and only able to reach the top of his head.
“What do you mean?” Chakotay’s tone was teasing.
“I…”
“You’ve never had this done before?” Oh how he loved her. He would be the first to…the thought made him pulse a little harder against his pants.
“Well, it’s just never…come up before,” she finished lamely.
“Don’t worry, it’s something you’ll enjoy,” he whispered soothingly. “Now let me take these off.”
Kathryn complied, moaning when she felt his large hands slide under her thighs, gently holding her hips in place, and surging upward when his mouth touched her folds.
“Chakotay…what…oh!” his tongue slid up her slit, her swollen clitoris waiting for him, her juices dripping. He laved lazy circles around her, gently at first, the with increasing speed, never giving way on his tenderness, until he was sure she wasn’t going to pull away, then brought his hand to spread her apart, the juices flowing more insistently now, more so when he added the cool breath from his mouth. It was enough.
Kathryn came with an almost frightening intensity, her arms reaching behind and gripping the edge of her headboard, her back arching so fiercely Chakotay was glad he’d moved his own hands, he would have hurt her. He brushed over the auburn floss now quivering and alternated between using his hand and finger, in various parts of her, sometimes moving and pressing against her clit with one finger while drinking her with his mouth, other times licking her clit with his mouth while plunging a finger deep inside, wriggling and feeling her pulse against him.
It was enough to make Kathryn come again, a third time, quivering harder, her body thrashing with the pleasure and feel of the muscles of her lower body lose all control, the ripples throughout her body becoming larger and larger until she screamed with the pure joy coursing through her.
Finally, he left her, trailing kisses back up to her breasts. Kathryn took him and squarely pushed him over on his back, keeping her hands on his shoulders and successfully, if gently and temporarily, pinning him as she straddled him and feverishly licked and sucked at his skin before removing his pants.
“Kathryn…” he moaned, letting her have her way with him for endless minutes, almost writhing beneath her touch as he soon found himself sweating. Her ministrations were wonderful, the way she drew her nails down over his muscled, hard torso, the way she kissed every inch of his hairless body that she could reach, rolling her tongue around the skin, tasting him, becoming acquainted with him.
Kathryn took his pants off in the same way Chakotay had hers, except that his briefs came down with them, leaving him as naked as her. Somehow it no longer made her feel vulnerable, as it would have even a day ago. Their nakedness was comfortable, almost joyous, a symbol of each and every boundary thrown in their faces and lives over the past years. She traced the skin over his hardness, finding it taut and hot to the touch, but oddly soft and velvety, stretched as it was. Tentatively she brushed her hands over his own wiry hair before licking the tip.
Chakotay brushed her hair back. “Kathryn,” he whispered lovingly, “have you ever done this before?”
It stopped her. Her finger stroked the length, nails digging slightly, causing him to buck a bit, his hand on the back of her neck. “Be honest, Kathryn. Tell me.”
A wordless shake of the head. Chakotay sat up enough to capture her face in his hands and let his tongue travel her mouth. Kathryn could taste herself on him, nibbling at his lips, and a sense of desire shot through her. Chakotay could feel it, sense it.
“Wait,” he told her, breaking the kiss, tracing her lips with his finger before getting up and walking out of the room. Curiously, she waited for him.
In less then two minutes he was back, a small smile on his face, holding a bowl of chocolate sauce. “What’s this for?” she asked curiously, her brows furrowing.
“It’ll make it easier,” he assured her, flicking some onto his tongue before inserting it into her mouth. She moaned louder, at the taste of the chocolate mingling with what was him and…ohhh. Warm, smooth, satiny over her tongue, melting into her. It was heavenly.
Next he dipped a fingertip into the warm sauce and offered it to her lips, which she greedily accepted, sucking and licking all along the long length, using her tongue and mouth in ways never before experienced, all the while noting Chakotay’s encouraging eyes and loving smile that never seemed to leave his face. Finally, he lay back, handing her the bowl, and caressed her back and ribs as he waited.
She spread the sauce gently, covering mostly the head, letting it dribble down his cock, watching as the darker brown dripped onto the curls below. Without hesitation Kathryn took him into her mouth, rubbing her tongue against his ridges and licking the chocolate from him, in the back of her mind registering Chakotay’s moans and gasps of satisfaction. With some trepidation she went lower, sucking gently and pulling back, before keeping just the head in her mouth and rolling her tongue around it in circles. It was almost Chakotay’s undoing.
“Kathryn…not like this. Not the first time, please…” he was pleading, whimpering, begging, his voice actually husky and lower then usual. She acquiesced and released him. He held out a spoonful of the sauce to lighten the moment, and she took it, before another kiss claimed her.
Chakotay rolled slightly, his throbbing erection poised and ready, supporting her almost off of the bed with one hand on the back of her neck and another at the base of her spine, her thighs slick and parted around him, both sweating. He kissed her forehead gently, pressing against her as another part of him pressed elsewhere.
Kathryn buried her face into the crevice of his neck and shoulder, tensing as he nudged, pushing against him as he did her, until finally, in one smooth, fluid motion, he was buried inside.
She cried out with the feeling of it, the way the friction spread her walls to collapse and mold around him again, the pulsing inside heating her from the inside out and making her ache to the point tears streamed down her face for want of him.
“Shhh,” Chakotay kissed her cheek, cradling her to ease the trembling. Kathryn’s arms were securely around his neck, in more ways then one they were…together. She drew back enough to kiss him, roll her tongue playfully in his mouth, letting the friction of his movement add to the pleasantness inside. He quieted her cries, encouraged her coos with soft loving, kissed away the streaks of tears, all the while rocking against her.
Kathryn cried out again before it was over, feeling the liquid flood her channel uninhibited, coursing around and over and past his cock to pool beneath them, sticky and freeing, her stomach and abdomen tightening with sensations. As he burrowed deeper, her back arching against his hands, they both gasped in delight when the very tip of him touched, and pulled away from her cervix.
Chakotay buried himself deep within her, keeping the sensation alive, as he spurted, his hot juices warming Kathryn from the inside, quite pleasantly in her opinion. Almost instantly (save for the aftershocks that quivered through them both), they collapsed, Chakotay still cradling her against him so his weight would not crush her, and they both knew it could.
In time, he turned them both, still breathing heavily, the sheen of sweat not dissipating, so she was laying on top of him, cradled in his arms now against his chest. A final kiss was all they could manage, Kathryn adjusting only to pull up a blanket over them both, neither wanting to move, before they fell asleep.
