by Ehann

Part 4: Shifting Tide

This is bad, Buffy thought. The house siding jabbed painfully into her back and her thigh was cramping. Her ribs hurt and she had a stiff neck. And she didn’t care. That was the bad part.

Spike was on his knees in front of her, holding her left leg over his shoulder. His mouth…oh, his mouth was doing such things. His fingers plundered her, seeking and probing until her found the soft ribbed flesh he was looking for. Rhythmically he stroked his fingers inside her, and licked her over and over. He worked his tongue against her, making her arch against his face.

He felt her warm flesh flutter and tighten around his fingers. She’s close, he realized smugly. He stood up abruptly, and her eyes flew open in shock.

“Spike? What? No!”

He kissed her mouth, and pressed his denim covered hardness against her naked mound. Her jeans were stuck somewhere around her knees, but the rest of her clothing remained intact. And on her. He broke the kiss, but locked eyes with her.

His fingers drifted between her legs. Buffy stared into his eyes as he massaged the hood of her clit. “Thought I wasn’t finishing the job, Slayer? Thought I would leave you…needing?” Fingers entered her, stroked her again and again, while his thumb never lost its rhythm.

Buffy’s hands dug into his shoulders. “Please, I need…”

“Say it,” he demanded. “Tell me!” His fingers quickened. Her walls fluttered, squeezed against him. Her eyelids drifted shut and he snarled, “Look at me, damn it, and tell me what you need.”

Buffy didn’t know what she was supposed to answer anymore. Her limbs tingled, and her head spun. Her gaze fell on his beautiful lower lip and she blurted, “Your mouth. Get on your knees; I need your mouth on me.”

Almost before she’d finished speaking he dropped down and lapped at her. His thumb pressed against the ring of muscle at her body’s opening, stretching her. He licked her clit over and over, until her leg around his neck nearly took his head off. He kept lapping at her, drawing out her orgasm to the fullest, reveling in the aftershocks squeezing his thumb.

He carefully twisted out from under her leg, and stood up. She was a mess. Face flushed. Panting. Sweat dripping down her neck. Spike wouldn’t change a thing.

Buffy opened her eyes and looked around. The backyard was still there, and the house was still standing. Both good things. She felt something pinching behind her knees and realized her jeans were bunched up down there. Hastily, she tried to yank them back up, but her panties had somehow rolled up and… this was impossible. Annoyed, she ripped the offending panties off her own body—

“Now, there’s a change of pace,” Spike said. “Usually, that’s my job.” He stood calmly, smoking.

“Shut up,” she said easily. “And come over here, before I fall and wake everyone up.”

He moved closer and she steadied herself on his shoulder while she adjusted her clothing. When she was satisfied, she glanced up, and her mouth went dry. She was used to seeing him leer, or ogle, or whatever she wanted to call it. But this—she had never seen him look at her like,…like, he was so hungry! Blue eyes burned into her and she felt suddenly shy. Silly, she knew, especially after what they had just done. But she had revealed herself to him tonight, told him that she cared.

About a vampire with no soul, her mind supplied unhelpfully.

“Slayer, that was…” Spike considered, and shook his head. He had no clever words this time.

“Yeah,” she said softly. She looked down at her sneakers. “I should probably…” She motioned at the house. “I…I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Will you?” he asked. His hands drifted to her waist; just holding her lightly. He cocked his head to one side.

Buffy hesitated. “Maybe we could—” At his widening grin she stopped. Gave him a look. “I was going to say ‘train.’”

“That, too,” Spike agreed. He looked at her expectantly.

“What?”

He gave her an innocent look. “Just waiting for my kiss.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “You’re the guy, that’s your job,” she informed him.

“Oh, I think I did all the work tonight. ‘S your turn to put out a little.”

She giggled.

Spike sobered. “Been a long time since I heard that sound, love.”

Her smile faded some. “I know.” Then she leaned forward and pressed her lips against his. She held his jaw as her mouth moved over his. He caught her hands and held them, locking his fingers in hers.

“Um, Buffy?”

Buffy opened her eyes and pulled back. “Did you just hear something?” she whispered.

Spike turned his head then groaned. “Bloody hell.

“I’m sorry to, uh, interrupt, really I am,” Willow said from the porch, “it’s just that, uh, if you want to keep…with Spike…he should probably get inside somewhere before he, you know, combusts. It’s almost sunrise and shine time.”

Buffy and Spike both stared at her.

Willow bit her lip. “Yeah, so. My window? It’s kinda, right up there.” She pointed. Straight up. The redhead seemed to gather herself for she said, “Spike, it’s been, uh, nice, but I’m tired and I need to go to sleep now. Again! I mean. Because, I was. Asleep. The whole time.” She turned and went back in the kitchen door.

Before Buffy could say a word, Spike pressed the front of his body against hers. His mouth descended and he kissed her. When he raised his head, her legs felt like rubber.

He took a step backward and shoved his hands deep in the pockets of the duster. “Right. Til later, then.” His gaze smoked her for a long moment then he turned in a swirl of black leather and took off for his crypt.

Buffy glanced up at the lightening sky. “Shit.”

XXX

Bright green mist drifted as pockets in the air. Buffy looked around, but she didn’t see anyone else. Just her and this…poison… hanging in the air. She clamped a hand over her mouth and tried to breathe as shallowly as possible. That’s why they’re all gone, she knew. Everybody’s dead.

She didn’t know where she was, so she started walking. The streets were deserted except for the cars parked haphazardly along the curbs— most of them with doors hanging open and alarms blaring.

If I can just get to the beach, she thought, I’ll make it. But I can’t get there from here.

More pockets of green gas appeared from nowhere. Pretty soon, even she wouldn’t be safe. She felt the danger coming for her… to her.

Buffy started running. “I don’t want to BE here,” she shouted in frustration. Between one footfall and the next, the asphalt morphed into sand.

“Great.” She blew out a sigh of relief. Suddenly barefoot, she walked into the water. Her eyes closed and she took a deep lungful of salty air. Then she coughed. Her airway squeezed shut, and from far away she heard whistling. Black spots appeared in her vision and she stumbled drunkenly. Water splashed against her knees as she fell. Her hands saved her from a face first tumble. Her fingers dug into the earth, as she desperately fought for air.

This isn’t right, she thought crazily. It’s not how it’s supposed to happen.

The tide pulled out sharply, and Buffy knew what came next. It didn’t matter. She was dead anyway. Somehow she crawled towards the water. She tried to inhale, needed to hold her breath, but it was useless. The wave crashed into her, rolling her body backwards, and buffeting her with its strength.

Her trachea relaxed and water poured into her lungs. She inhaled it easily, relieved to finally have enough oxygen. A shaft of light lit up the water in front of her. Millions of plankton floated and danced, clouding the sunbeam. A shark swam by, ignoring her presence. She looked up toward the surface, toward the poisoned air, and knew she was the last.

Her eyes flew open, and she looked at the clock on her table. Only forty minutes had passed since laying down. She settled back into her bed, turning onto her side. So tired, she thought. Then she slept.

XXX

Spike hadn’t been to bed yet. He sat back in his chair, thinking. He’d spent most of the last day with the Slayer. They’d shagged a couple of times, and she’d only thrown one punch at him. Rather halfheartedly, in his opinion. He shook his head, smiling. Couldn’t believe that girl, sometimes. Acted all shy and retiring and then demanded he get on his knees and…Not that he minded. THAT was a pleasure, no doubt about it. Her complexity was part, a good part of her appeal.

Now, the situation with Red might be a problem. Spike didn’t care who knew about Buffy and him. Unfortunately, she did. He hoped that Red was taking it easy on the Slayer and not going all high and mighty. Well, he thought huffily, it’s not like the witch had any room to throw stones.

Still. Those friends of hers could be less than thoughtful at times, and Spike had an idea that the Slayer felt pretty vulnerable about now. At least, he mused, it hadn’t been Harris to stumble upon them. Small favors and dumb luck. Apparently, it’d never occurred to Buffy that Willow might sleep with her window open. Spike took a deep drag off the cigarette, knocking the long cylinder of ash onto the floor. He grinned to himself. Maybe after demolishing a house together, the thought of sex in the great outdoors didn’t faze the Slayer one bit.

Buffy. He’d never imagined…hell, who was he kidding? He’d always imagined that she was as passionate and ferocious a lover as she was a Slayer. He’d just never seriously thought that she would…

What exactly? Stoop to his level? Acknowledge his existence? Spike flicked the cigarette away, sending up crimson sparks from the floor. How dare she throw the souled wonder in his face!

Had to make it clear I’m the consolation gift. Take a years’ supply of Turtle Wax while you’re at it, Slayer.

He paced around the crypt for a long while, before his mood calmed down enough for him to think logically again. Things were different, now. The Slayer had admitted that, finally. When she’d showed up here yesterday, she’d said…what was it? Right. She’d admitted she felt something for him. But her whispered words had touched him the most.

“You’re not convenient, Spike,” she’d told him.

“All lies,” he said, in wonder. Everything she said that morning was a lie. How had he missed it? Too caught up in the magic of the moment, he thought caustically. Throwing two dead Slayers in her face, yeah, that was a bloody brilliant idea, Spike.

But she’d come back anyway. What did it all mean? Maybe it didn’t mean anything, he decided. But now, one of her friends had found out her dirty little secret and that changed things even more. Because, what one knew, they all knew.

He could just imagine them gathering around somewhere to discuss Buffy’s recent choice in men and making her feel like shit about it. And he had no trouble imagining the resulting scenario—the one where Buffy showed up here and then told him this was all a mistake, had to stop, never again, degrading, disgusting….

Thing was, Buffy’d already sung that tune. He snorted. Good thing he knew all the words. He stepped onto the ladder and headed downstairs. Hopefully, he could get some sleep—let me rest in peace, let me get some sleep—the words popped up in his brain and he shook his head, irritated. It had taken him weeks to get that bloody song out of his mind, and here it was back again. This was gonna be a long day.

XXX

Buffy had just finished getting dressed when the knock came on her door. She opened it and saw Willow standing in the hall looking uncertain.

“Hi.” Willow said.

“Hey. Come in,” Buffy said, stepping aside to let the redhead enter.

The girls sat down on the bed. Neither felt sure of where to start or what to say.

After a long silence, Buffy began, “You’re here to ask me about last night.”

“Well, not in an interrogation sort of way, but more like a ‘wow I had no idea my friend was involved in something really…”

“Yeah, it’s really. Will, I don’t even know where to begin.”

The redhead smiled. “Just start at the very beginning, a very good place to start,” she singsonged.

“Okay.” Buffy took a deep breath. “One of the nights that the whole town was singing and dancing? I had to go see Spike. See if he had any information about what was going on. He…he sang to me.” Buffy met her friend’s gaze then looked away. “He sang about…how he felt that I treat him like a dead thing, and how he feels alive when he’s with me.” She closed her eyes briefly. If she concentrated, she could still hear his song in her mind. He’d kneeled in front of her then, too. “He wanted me to, to leave him alone so he could bury his love for me.” In a hole, six feet deep, she mentally added. “We…he…he sang that even though his heart was breaking, I didn’t care.”

“Wow,” Willow said, raising a brow.

Buffy snorted. “Oh, it gets better. After he saved me from the demon, remember when he left the uh, big group sing? I followed him out into the street.” She got up and paced the room. “I was just trying to make him understand how I felt,” she said. “Then all of the sudden I’m singing to him and he’s answering me back, in song, and then…” She sat back down on the edge of the bed.

Buffy stared off into space, and Willow touched her hand. “Then what?”

The Slayer smiled a little. “I kissed him.”

“No, you didn’t!” Willow squealed.

Buffy grinned. Now that sounded like Willow of old. “I couldn’t help it. Trust me on this.” She shivered slightly, thinking about it.

Willow stared at her. “You care about him.”

Buffy chewed on her lower lip. “No one is more surprised about this than me. He…he’s just been so different since I…got back.” She paused. “No. I’m different. I…we…there’s just this connection. And whatever I need…” She smiled. “He’d try and get it for me. Even if I didn’t know I needed it.”

“So, you’re sure about this, Buffy?”

“God, no!” she exclaimed. “I never said all that.” She hesitated and then said, “I keep having all these dreams, Will. And I’m not a psychiatrist, and I don’t know that much about…anything really. But I think part of me is trying to say that what I think is wrong is right and what I think is right, really isn’t. Does that make sense?”

Willow looked mystified. “Not to me. But Buffy, dreams are personal. It’s what it means to you that’s important. Have you been dreaming about …wait a second. So that’s why you were asking about dream interpretation. You think those dreams have to do with your feelings for Spike.”

“Well…kinda. I mean, I was fighting it for so long—”

“What! How long?”

“And then I just couldn’t help myself and it was…” Buffy sighed. “It was good, Willow.” She met her friend’s eyes. “It was so good.” Her fingers plucked at the blanket. “It was after…you know…that I had the first dream. And once I stopped being so scared of drowning and just breathed the water, everything felt so …peaceful. And that’s…that’s what it’s like, sometimes, with Spike.” She had to struggle against the lump in her throat to get the words out. She half laughed. “Of course, sometimes he pisses me off so much I can hardly see straight so, there you go.”

Willow looked sympathetic. “Buffy, for what it’s worth, I just want you to be happy. Knowing what you lost…” her gaze fell. “What I did to you… I just want you to be happy. And I’m sorry that everything got all…screwed up.” Tears filled her eyes and she said, “I’m sorry that I…made things harder for you after you came back.”

“I’m not gonna lie to you, Will. Every day…it’s hard. But it’s getting easier.” Buffy leaned over and hugged her.

Willow drew back and wiped her eyes. “I think you should tell the others, though.” At Buffy’s look, she added, “You shouldn’t have to sneak around. We’re not sixteen anymore. You’re an adult. Let’s face it, Spike doesn’t have a soul to lose, and…and I just don’t think he’s like that. Even if he got the chip out, I don’t think he’d try and hurt us.”

Buffy kept her face carefully blank. “Well, the chip still works on humans, so that’s a non issue, thank God.” She stretched. “Xander…”

“Will come around.”

“Giles?”

Willow cocked her head. “He’ll be pissed. Maybe. For awhile there…”

“What?”

“Nothing. It’s just that, I heard him say once, ‘If they don’t kill each other, I just might help them out,’ or something like that. And Spike was very good to Giles when…you know.”

Buffy looked wry. “When we were engaged, you mean? Yeah, he was all about being the perfect boyfriend, wasn’t he?” She snorted. “I can’t believe Spike hasn’t told everyone already. I mean, I did threaten to stake him if he said anything, but that’s never stopped him in the past.”

Willow shrugged. “He fought beside us all summer, Buffy. You were gone. There was no one to impress. Besides, after you…jumped off the tower, Spike was just…I want to say ‘dead inside’ but since he’s already sort of—”

“He’s not though,” Buffy interrupted. “God, this is weird.”

“Yeah,” Willow grinned. “Like old times.”

Buffy laughed. “Yeah,” she agreed. “Listen, I want to tell everyone and I will, but I just want a little more time. Like I need to have this private place carved out that I can hold onto you know?”

Willow had a wistful look. “I’ve felt that way before. Tara,” she added at Buffy’s questioning look.

“I’m sorry,” Buffy said and meant it.

The redhead got up and said, “Just one more thing. Maybe, you should tell Dawn before you tell the others. I think she’d want to know. She and Spike got really tight over the summer. He hung out with her all the time. He really wanted to keep his promise, he used to say.”

“Oh, Dawn,” Buffy groaned. “What am I supposed to tell her? I’m sleeping with Spike and I’m pretty sure that he won’t kill you or anyone else I love?”

“You’re sleeping with Spike?” Willow squeaked.

XXX