Group Therapy

   Fanfiction
      -My Fics
      -Collaborations
      -Other Buffy/Spike Fics
      -Series
      -Challenges
      -Non Buffy/Spike Fics
   History
   Links
   Link to Me
   Updates
   Awards Won


   Back to Main

   E-mail Hilary

By Marc

Rated PG-13 for some violence and strong language

Setting-A few weeks after “The Gift” includes spoilers for the episode.

Utterly distraught over Buffy’s death, Spike alienates himself from Dawn and the Scoobies, choosing to cope in his own way, which includes seeking revenge on those responsible for the Slayer’s demise. Just when things are looking blackest for the reformed vampire, he receives some much-needed help from an unlikely caller.

Feedback is highly appreciated

***

PROLOGUE

Anya walked through the cemetery with a quickened step, a nervous frown on her face. Being alone at night in Sunnydale was not enjoyable to her. Being alone at night in Sunnydale in a cemetery was even less enjoyable, and being alone at night in Sunnydale in a cemetery without her demon powers just plain sucked. Still, she was there for an important reason and though this did not make her feel anymore comfortable, she continued on her way. After a few more steps, she suddenly heard a quiet growl that froze her in her tracks. Slowly she turned around, almost a hundred percent sure of what stood behind her, and her suspicions were confirmed at the sight of the two vampires that stood there. They were both wearing their game faces, their fangs glimmering in the shallow moonlight that covered the area.

“Hello little girl,” one of the demon’s growled, a smile on his face.

“Oh no, vampires!” Anya gasped. She then took a deep breath and let out an ear-splitting scream that took her assailants by surprise. She held the shriek out for several seconds, and the two creatures looked at one another, confused.

“Jeez, they usually don’t do that until we bite them.”

“And even then they’re not as loud,” the other put in, covering his ears. As they turned toward their prey once more, the vampire on the right suddenly felt a sharp pain in his back. Before he could even ponder what had happened, he dissolved into a pile of ashes. His companion whirled around and was shocked to see a tall young man with dark hair standing a few yards away, a crossbow in his hands. As he stood there, the vampire had no idea that this would be the last sight that he would ever see. Anya jammed the stake into his back with all of her might and didn’t even blink as he imploded.

“Done and done,” she said, contentedly, as she put the weapon back into her pocket and rubbed her hands together to shake the dust off of them. Xander smiled at his fiancée and quickly walked over to her, taking a moment to reload his crossbow.

“Another one bites the dust…or I should say turns to dust,” he smirked. “What was our time on that one?”

“Um…from when they first spotted me, thirty point seven seconds,” Anya said, looking at her watch. “Ooh, new record.” Xander nodded, happily.

“Buffy would have been proud.” It had taken him quite some time before he had been able to speak his deceased friend’s name without bursting into tears at the realization that she was gone. Time did heal wounds however, and with each passing day he found the truth somewhat easier to accept.

“Did you like my scream?” Anya asked, smiling brightly. “I was going for Fay Wray from King Kong.”

“Yeah, well Fay would have been proud too,” Xander said, giving his ear a quick rub. “That was really…loud.”

“Next time we do this can you be the bait? Constantly playing the damsel in distress is derogatory to me and women everywhere, scorned or otherwise,” Anya complained as she reset the timer on her watch.

“Sweetheart, I’ve told you before, you’re not “the bait.” You just lure the vampires into a position where I can get a clean shot at them. You’re more of…a decoy.” Anya looked insulted at this comment and Xander quickly regretted his choice of words before speaking up again. “What I mean is…you lure the vamps out because you’re so…alluring.” The former demon immediately brightened.

“Really?”

“Yeah, really. Did you see the way those guys were drooling over you tonight? Made killing them even more fun.” She smiled and gave him a quick kiss.

“That’s so sweet. I thought it was because you didn’t want me using the crossbow anymore; you know, after what happened last time,” she said sheepishly.

“What? Oh please, that wasn’t your fault. I shouldn’t have been standing there when you fired it,” Xander smiled.

“Tara, they’re up here,” the two of them heard Willow call, and they turned to see the red-haired witch walking toward them with Tara right behind her. “How’d you guys do?”

“There were two of them hanging around here. We took care of them,” Xander said. “You?”

“There were another three on the other side. One ran off before we could get him but the other two are dust,” Willow responded.

“Another mission accomplished, Angels,” he grinned.

“Yeah, thanks Bosley,” Willow responded, doing her best to stifle a laugh. She had been the first one with enough fortitude and intelligence to suggest they start patrolling again. The despair that she had fallen into after Buffy’s funeral had been overwhelming, but Willow realized now more than ever that she had to do her very best to balance out emotion with reason. It was obvious that Sunnydale’s vampire population was growing. The news of the Slayer’s death had spread quickly through the demon underground, not only across the west coast, but the entire country. Without a Slayer to protect the area, the Hellmouth had once again become the perfect nesting ground for vampires, and the number of demons in the area was growing by the day. Willow had come to the conclusion that a failure to protect the area as Buffy had done was a failure to honor her memory and all that she had stood for. If the vampires were allowed to thrive without obstruction, the entire population of Sunnydale would be put placed in jeopardy, and the Slayer’s sacrifice would have been in vain; evil would triumph in the end. This possibility was completely unacceptable to Willow who had decided two years ago, at a moment in her life where the window of opportunity had been wide open, to stay in Sunnydale and help people. Slowly, the others had come around to her way of thinking, and for the past few weeks, they had done their very best to put an end to the vampire expansion. It had not been easy; for every one vampire they staked it seemed as though three more were waiting to take it’s place. They were getting better though, and she had been working feverishly to discover new spells that could help.

“So can we go home now?” Anya asked, hopefully.

“We still have to check out the Bronze, there were two vampire attacks outside the club last week,” Tara said as she pulled a small notepad out of her pocket. She made a quick checkmark next to the areas that they had already covered that night, and repacked the notebook before Anya spoke up.

“And that’s the last stop, right?” she asked, hopefully. “I’ve inhaled enough vampire ash for one night.”

“Yeah, that should do it,” Willow nodded. She too was beginning to feel the strain of patrolling every night. Nonetheless, she refused to even consider quitting, and looked over at Xander, determinedly. “All set?”

“Let’s get going,” he nodded, pulling out his car keys. The quartet walked out of the cemetery and toward his car which was parked just outside the burial ground. As they reached the vehicle, Xander’s mouth dropped open and he frowned as he ran over to it. “What the hell….” he said mostly to himself.

“What’s wrong?” Willow asked as she, Tara, and Anya hurried over. They were surprised to see that all four of the car’s tires had gone flat, obviously the result of someone puncturing them.

“The Xander-mobile’s been sabotaged,” Anya gasped, horrified. “Do you have any idea how much new tires are going to cost?”

“Who would do something stupid like that?” Tara asked, quietly. Xander made no response as he kicked the curb angrily, turning away from the car for a second. His eyes suddenly widened in fear and he quickly tapped Willow on the shoulder.

“Um, them maybe,” he gulped. The witch turned around and gasped as she saw that they were completely surrounded on all sides by no less than fifteen vampires. She recognized one of them as the demon that had escaped Tara and her earlier in the night.

“Oh God,” Tara whispered, and Anya looked equally frightened.

“Well, well, well,” one of the vampires growled. “It’s the Slayer’s little fan club.”

“You guys have been making a lot of trouble for us around here,” another one said, and his accent exposed the fact that he was new to these parts. “See, now that the Slayer’s in the ground, the Hellmouth is our turf again, and we’re not about to let four pathetic little appetizers like you ruin it for us. Looks like the hunters have become the prey.”

“Boy, and I thought some of Buffy’s lines were corny,” Anya whispered to Willow.

“Th-that was kind of cliched,” the witch responded, her mind racing to think up a plan. Xander quickly whispered to his best friend, nervously.

“Will, you remember that ball of sunshine spell you’ve been working on?”

“I haven’t perfected it yet,” she answered. Before she could say anything else, the vampires charged forward. Xander raised his crossbow and fired it, dusting one of the attackers instantly.

“Now might be a good time to try!” he shouted as he used the crossbow to block the attack of another vampire. Willow quickly grabbed Tara’s hand and concentrated for a moment. Using their combined powers, the two witches sent a wave of telekinetic energy out, flinging back a good number of their attackers. Anya had in the meantime pulled out her own stake and was doing her very best to try and fend some of the demons off with it. Xander wanted to help her but there was no way to get to her at the moment, and as the group of vampires that she had flung backwards slowly got to their feet, Willow realized that this was one battle they couldn’t win using conventional means.

“Tara, keep them back for just a couple of seconds,” Willow shouted to her girlfriend, and the blonde witch nodded as she drew a stake from her pocket. Employing telekinesis once more, she floated the weapon through the air like a guided missile and used it to stake two of the vampires standing next to one another. Willow had already closed her eyes and started chanting, struggling to recall the words to the spell. As Anya swung her stake at the two vampires in front of her once again, she gasped as one of them caught her wrist and easily pried the weapon from her grip.

“I’m going to pick my teeth with this once I’m done with you,” he growled as he put the stake into his pocket. The creature than flung her to the ground and pounced on her, moving his fangs toward her throat.

“Xander!” she screamed, and her lover knew that he had to move now. Using the butt of the crossbow like a club, he smashed his attacker in the face and quickly turned toward his fiancée. He charged towards the vampire perched on top of her as fast as he could and tackled him, winding himself in the process. He had gotten the creature off of Anya, however, and that was the important part. Despite her concentration on the spell, Willow had heard Anya’s scream as well, and she knew that if she didn’t hurry, someone was going to get killed. As she finished the last part of the incantation, she could feel the burning light inside of her, and she quickly raised her arms up above her head.

“Close your eyes!” Tara shouted to Xander and Anya as she quickly followed her own advice. Xander ignored the vampire he was fighting and jumped backwards, shutting his eyes tightly. The creature made ready to attack him, but before it could strike a burning sensation consumed its body. The vampire turned around only to see a huge ball of daylight glowing above Willow’s head, and he screamed in pain as his body began to melt. After only three seconds, he was no more. Anya could hear the agonized screams all around her but dared not look at what was going on out of fear that the blinding light would permanently damage her vision. A good minute passed before any of them opened their eyes, and Xander looked around to see that all the vampires had dissolved into nothing but traces of smoke blowing in the wind.

“All right, Will! You’re MVP for the third night in a row…Will?” he asked, confused as to why she had not replied. Tara gasped in alarm as she saw Willow collapsed on the pavement and ran over to her lover as fast as she could.

“Willow!” Tara screamed as she knelt down and cradled the semi-conscious witch in her arms. “Are you all right?”

“Um…I will be once everything stops spinning,” Willow said. “You guys okay? I don’t trust spells that involve so many UV rays.”

“No, it was perfect,” Xander smiled, squeezing her hand in support.

“Can we please go home now?” Anya asked, still shaking from when the vampire had been on top of her.

“Yeah…that sounds like a good plan,” Willow said as she unsteadily got to her feet with Tara’s help. Xander had in the meantime pulled his cell phone out of the car’s glove compartment and quickly punched in a few numbers.

“I’ll tell Giles to come pick us up,” he said. “We can call a tow-truck to come and get this thing fixed tomorrow.”

“Wait Xander, you don’t have to,” Tara said, and she pointed her fingers toward the car tires. The entire group, including Willow, watched in surprise as the tires slowly re-inflated to their normal capacity, repaired as good as new. “Granted, not as useful as a ball of sunshine but it saves Mr. Giles a trip,” she smiled. Xander shook his head and sighed.

“You know working with the two of you makes a guy feel very…typical.” While he had come a very long way, he still did not have any special powers or fighting skills, nor did he possess Giles’ and Anya’s vast knowledge of the demon world. In the end, he always did the best that he could with his limited resources, and no one could ever accuse him of not trying. They climbed into the car and Xander quickly drove to an apartment that they all knew very well. Giles saw them pull up through the window and had the door open for them as they walked toward his abode.

“Welcome back,” he said cordially, but he frowned when he noticed how exhausted Willow looked. “Willow are you all right?”

“Huh? Oh yeah, just a little…tired I guess.”

“She finally got the ball of sunshine spell right,” Anya said, happily, and Willow shot her a quick glare. “Well you did.”

“I see,” Giles said. “Xander why don’t you go get a hot towel, and Anya, perhaps you could fix a cup of tea?” The young couple nodded and went off to perform their respective tasks while Giles and Tara helped Willow to the couch. He had not sent Tara off as well because he knew how much the two of them loved one another and realized that anything he had to say to Willow could be said in front of her lover as well.

“That’s a very dangerous spell,” Giles said, “particularly for the person casting it. I thought we had agreed that you were going to start taking things a bit slower.”

“I know,” she sighed, “but we were surrounded by vampires, it was the only way out.” Giles nodded, content to leave it at that for now. As Willow stared at him, she realized how much older he had started to look since Buffy had died. His voice was softer now, more subdued, and he rarely laughed or even smiled these days. “How’s Dawn?” she asked, curiously.

“She’s in the other room finishing up her school work. They said that as long as she passes her final exams she won’t have to repeat the year,” he said. Willow frowned as she realized her question had not been answered.

“But how is she?” the witch asked. Giles sighed and shook his head.

“Not good. She didn’t even touch her dinner. It’s as though she’s given up on everything.” Tara took a long breath as she thought about everything Buffy’s sister had been through in the last two months; from her realization regarding the true nature of her existence, to her mother’s death, to the near-apocalypse, to Buffy’s sacrifice. It was as though she had endured a lifetime of pain in only a few short weeks. Anya and Xander had re-entered the room, both of them looking somber. They had heard Giles’ remarks regarding Dawn, and neither of them could think of anything they could do to help. Xander passed the hot compress over to Willow who gratefully wrapped it around her forehead, while Anya set the teacup down on the table in front of them. An uncomfortable silence loomed between all of them for a few moments before the red-haired witch finally broke it.

“We didn’t make it to the Bronze,” Willow sighed as she took a quick sip of tea. “And if what’s been going on there is any indication, everyone in that club is at risk of being attacked when they leave.”

“You can’t be everywhere at once, Willow,” said Giles. “Even Buffy understood that.”

“And you have to stop being so hard on yourself,” Xander added. “Look what it’s doing to you.”

“Yes, you look terrible,” Anya said. “No offense.”

“None taken,” Willow sighed as she knew that the former demon’s words were true. “I guess…I just want to, you know, make her proud.”

“And she is proud, love,” Tara said, squeezing Willow’s hand. “I know she is.”

“I think she’d be a lot more proud if we could figure out what to do about Dawn,” Will sighed. “Makes slaying vampires seem easy.”

“I’m sure she’ll come to terms with it in due course,” Giles responded. “It’s obviously going to take time, but we’ll be here to help her through it.”

“Yeah, as long as the friendly neighborhood social workers don’t get in our way,” Xander grimaced. It had only been through Angel’s connections with the Los Angeles D.A.’s office that they had been able to gain custody over Dawn as opposed to her being put into a foster home. The court was still trying to locate her father, and part of Xander hoped they would find him so that he would be able to walk up to Hank Summers, punch him in the face, and tell him what he thought of him. The man had failed to attend both Joyce and Buffy's funerals and had not even attempted to write or call. Still, as long as he remained MIA, they were in charge of Dawn, and though it was not easy facing the grief-stricken child every day, it was something that they were all willing to endure.

“It’s getting kind of late, we should get her home,” Tara said, looking at her watch. Willow and her had since moved into the Summer’s residence to be with Dawn, while Giles had been looking around for a new apartment that was somewhat closer to the house. Before anyone could respond, Dawn suddenly walked into the room, a weary look on her face. She did her best to smile as she saw all of them there, and Xander was the first one to speak to her.

“Hey Dawnster,” he said. Her smile suddenly disappeared as she noticed how fatigued Willow looked.

“Willow, are you okay?” she asked, concerned. One of the numerous problems with patrolling was the fact that every time they went out, Dawn grew terrified that one of them would be hurt or killed and end up leaving her just as Buffy and Joyce had left her.

“What? Oh I’m fine, sweetheart. Really, I just had to do a spell that took a lot out of me, but I’m fine now.” Dawn didn’t seem convinced, but nodded nonetheless as Tara changed the subject.

“How’s the studying going?” she asked. Dawn only shrugged and the members of the Scooby Gang looked to one another, sadly; desperate to find some way to raise the girl’s spirits.

“Um, we were just about to get ready to leave, you wanna go and grab your stuff?” Willow asked. She nodded and turned to leave the room again before stopping suddenly and facing the group once more.

“Uh, can I ask you guys a question?” she said, hopefully.

“Of course,” Willow nodded.

“Ask away,” said Xander.

“Would you like to know where babies come from?” Anya asked, hopefully. “Most people don’t answer that question when children ask them but we’re….”

“Um, Anya, I know where babies come from,” Dawn said without smiling.

“Oh, well would you like to know where demon babies come from, because that’s a different story altogether.” Willow, Giles, and Tara all rolled their eyes while Xander quickly grabbed his fiancée's hand and squeezed it.

“Um, honey, why don’t we just let Dawn ask us whatever it is she wants to ask us?”

“All right, but I think it’s important for her to learn about these things from us before she hears it from someone who doesn’t know what they’re talking about and takes it the wrong way,” Anya said.

“I was…I was just wondering if any of you had…you know…heard from Spike yet.” Willow’s heart sank and she saw everyone else grow equally saddened at the youngster’s question. For practically every day since he had disappeared, Dawn had asked about Spike, and each day they had to tell her the exact same thing.

“I’m sorry Dawn,” Willow said, shaking her head. “His crypt is still empty and he hasn’t contacted us in any way yet.”

“Yeah but…but maybe he doesn’t know you’re living at my house now. Maybe he just addressed the letter wrong or something,” Dawn said hopefully, much more emotion in her voice than before.

“I’m sure he’s fine, sweetheart. Spike knows how to take care of himself,” Tara said, reassuringly. “Right Xander?”

“Spike? Oh yeah, vamps don’t come much more badass than him. I mean, why do you think they called him William the Bloody? He’s probably just raising hell somewhere, you know, blowing off some steam. I’m sure he’ll be back here making idle threats against my life before you know it.” Xander was bluffing, and though he had done his very best to try and cover it up, Dawn had easily detected the falseness in his tone. She felt herself getting choked up, but refused to cry in front of everyone and quickly took a deep breath.

“Yeah…sure,” Dawn answered, completely unconvinced. “I’ll go and get my stuff.” As she left the room, Giles shook his head.

“I can’t decide who I would rather beat the living daylights out of, her father or Spike.”

“Giles, that’s not fair. Spike’s obviously going through a lot right now,” Willow said, somewhat surprised that she was defending the vampire.

“So are the rest of us, Will, but we didn’t run out on Dawn when she needed us,” Xander said, angrily.

“But it’s different for him,” Tara said. “He’s not even human, he doesn’t know how to deal with human emotions. And can you imagine how guilty he must be feeling about what happened to Buffy?” Xander frowned, trying to ignore how much sense Willow’s girlfriend was making.

“I still think he’s a jerk for leaving.”

“Didn’t his note say anything else?” Anya asked Willow, curiously.

“Nope. Just “I’m leaving and I don’t know when I’ll be back. Take care of Dawn.”,” Willow sighed. "I must have read that note to myself about ten times and I still couldn't believe he had just…run off."

“We’ll simply have to trust that he’ll be returning to Sunnydale soon. Not having him here is eating away at her,” Giles said. The Watcher did not understand the attachment that Dawn felt toward Spike, but he was fully conscious of the fact that she was miserable without him there. She had told all of them that Buffy’s last request was to take care of one another. One person was missing, however, and Giles was not sure how much longer he could stand telling Dawn that they had not heard from Spike. “Whatever it is he’s doing, I just hope he hasn’t gotten in over his head.”

----

***

HUNTING

“All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong? Ah, look at all the lonely people. Ah, look at all the lonely people. Eleanor Rigby died in the church and was buried along with her name,” the vampire sang into the microphone in front of him. “Nobody came. Father McKenzie, wiping the dirt from his hands as he walks from the grave. No-one was saved. All the lonely people, where do they all come from? All the lonely people, where do they all belong?” The music ended and before he could step off of the stage, Spike felt the Host’s arm around his shoulder, holding him there. The audience, which included demons, humans, and vampires, was cheering madly, and a few of the bar’s patrons had tears in their eyes. The Host stepped over to the mic. with a smile on his face, his red eyes glowing under the stage lights.

“Now was that beautiful or what ladies and gentlemen, let’s have a big round of applause for this guy,” he asked the crowd, and the cheers only continued to grow. Spike rolled his eyes, annoyed as hell that he had just sung “Eleanor Rigby” in front of a crowd of people that he didn’t even know. He had paid off a vampire contact of his in LA to find out where he could get the information he needed, and he had been told to go to Caritas. He was still no further along in his mission, however, and on top of that he now felt like a bleeding idiot.

“Can we talk now?” Spike said quietly, but the Host ignored him.

“With Billy Idol’s looks and Paul McCartney’s voice, this guy was sired to be a performer. I’m going to have a little chat with my buddy Spike here, the rest of you have a good time and put your hands, claws, tentacles, or what have you together for our next vocalist, a dear friend of mine, Snit the chaos demon.” The bleached-blonde vampire found himself growing more and more incensed by the minute as he watched a chaos demon walk onstage next to him. Spike absolutely loathed chaos demons and it was taking all of his self-control not to jump this guy and snap his spine in two. Snit had in the meantime shaken hands with the Host who grimaced at the slime that now covered his fingers.

“Ew, did somebody sneeze?” the Anagogic demon asked the crowd, and his joke drew a polite amount of laughter from the audience. As Snit walked over toward the mic., he smiled at Spike.

“Hey, that was really great, man,” the chaos demon said, patting him on the back. Spike frowned as he watched blobs of slime drip down his duster from the antlered demon’s touch.

“Let’s step off to the side here,” the Host said, warmly, and he walked with Spike over to a table in a far corner of the club. “You really do have a great set of pipes, have you ever considered singing professionally?” The vampire bit his tongue before trying to smile at the Anagogic demon, his temper at the breaking point. He pulled out his cigarette pack and lighter, hoping that a smoke would relax him, but the Host frowned and made a disgusted face. “Ugh, your voice is never going to last if you keep smoking those things. You might want to look into those nicarette patches they sell, I hear they work wonders….” Spike interrupted the demon.

“Listen mate, I came here for information that I thought I could bribe out of you. Then I find out that you can’t help me unless I sing like a bloody poofter. Then I get stuck singing “Eleanor Rigby,” the most depressing thing The Beatles ever did that didn’t involve Yoko Ono or the bloody Walrus. This is not my idea of a good time, all right?”

“Well I’m sorry Negative Nancy, but you should have been more specific when you said “I’ll sing a short song by The Beatles”,” the Host remarked. “Anyway, I think “Eleanor Rigby” was an appropriate choice for you. By the way, did I mention how much I love your coat? It’s all about…”

“Yes…you mentioned the coat,” Spike said through gritted teeth. “Only about ten times. And what do you mean “Eleanor Rigby” was a good choice?”

“Well, even with the slime on the back it still looks great,” the Host said, still staring at Spike’s leather duster. “Oh, right sorry. Well it’s just, Ellie’s ballad is all about lonely people, and…you fit the description there Billy. All I’m getting from you is loneliness…loneliness and guilt.” That tore it for Spike who reached across and grabbed the Host by the jacket.

“You sure you’re not leaving anything out, like “anger,” or to be more specific, “complete unadulterated rage”?” Spike asked.

“Hey, no need to get aggressive,” the Host said as he pulled out of the vampire’s grip and straightened his jacket out. “I’m here to help you, remember?”

“Can you, or are you just wasting my time?”

“Boy you’re even more impatient than your grandpappy,” the green-faced demon mused. “It’s a good thing you haven’t sired anybody recently, they’d probably be more curt then the two of you put together.” Spike stared at the Host for a moment, utterly confused, but he immediately realized what he was talking about.

“You know Angel?” Spike asked, curiously.

“Know him?” the Host scoffed, “we’re like brothers, simpatico if you will.”

“Figures,” Spike mumbled under his breath.

“Well, enough about the vampire with soul, he’s not the reason you’re in LA LA Land.”

“No, he’s not,” Spike responded. “I take it you know why I’m here?”

“Yes…yes I do, but in a way, no I don’t. It’s like I said before peroxide, you’re lonely. You’re wallowing in remorse when you know that there are people who want to help you through all this.”

“Yeah, well, I didn’t ask for their help and I don’t want it,” he sneered, his cockney accent sounding very cruel at the moment. “Let them cope their way, I’ll cope my way.”

“But you’re not coping, you’re….”

“Please...” Spike said, shocked to hear the word come out of his own mouth. “Just tell me what you saw when I sang.” The demon sighed and shook his head but spoke nonetheless.

“All right, along with all the guilt, loneliness, and anguish, I saw the guys you’re after…not public enemy number one mind you, but the other ones. Five of them to be exact, they’re camped out in this shack on the bad side of town,” the Host said as he wrote down the street name on a sheet of paper.

“And you’re sure it’s just the five of them?” Spike asked as he snatched the paper out of the Anagogic’s green hands.

“Yeah,” the Host nodded. Spike smiled, sadistically. Last time, they had gotten the drop on him. This time it would be different. The vampire hastily got out of his chair, almost tipping it over in the process.

“S'all I need to know. ‘Appreciate the help, mate,” he said as he turned to leave.

“Don’t mention it,” the Host said, somewhat sadly. “You sure you want to do this?” Spike paused and turned around, somewhat disturbed by the Host’s tone.

“I owe it to her to avenge her,” Spike said, firmly.

“But then what? Besides, from what I’ve heard, vengeance darkens the soul,” the Host said. Spike scoffed once more, and shook his head.

“You’ve got me confused with Peaches, I don’t have a soul.”

“Maybe, maybe not,” the Host responded, cryptically.

“I don’t smell a soul on you anywhere. Why do you even care.” Spike heard the voice that had haunted his nightmares go off in his head. The vampire felt himself growing uncomfortable in the club and frowned as he again made ready to leave. He turned to the Host once more, however.

“Speaking of everybody’s favorite tortured nancy-boy, if you see him around here do me a favor, don’t let him know that I’m in town.”

“Now this is another thing I don’t understand, why can’t you two just get along? He’s feeling just as guilty as you are about what happened, and….”

“If I never see Angelus again it will be too soon,” Spike growled, angered by the Host’s words.

“Whatever you say, William,” the demon shrugged, “but Angel’s got quite a rep around here and he usually ends up finding out about everything and everyone.”

“If he knows what’s good for him he’ll stay out of my way until this is done,” the vampire growled as he wiped the last traces of slime off of his coat with a napkin. He carelessly threw the paper on the floor and hurried out of the club, a determined look on his face. The Host sighed once more as he picked up the crumpled napkin and walked toward a nearby trashcan.

----

Spike had parked his DeSoto right outside the karaeoke bar and quickly jumped into the vehicle, taking a moment to look at the back seat. There were numerous weapons packed in the car; daggers, crossbows, a battleaxe. He had “borrowed” all the items from the training room in the back of the magic shop just before he had left Sunnydale. The vampire took a moment to recall his departure from the town. After Buffy’s sacrifice at the tower, he had ridden with the others to the hospital to get Dawn to a doctor. While the physicians repaired the cuts to her body, he had kept a constant vigil outside her room, ignoring his own injuries which included a deep stab wound, broken wrist, and various burns from exposure to the sun. After a few days, Dawn had been released from the clinic, and while the Scoobies and Giles undertook the heart-wrenching task of preparing for Buffy’s funeral, Spike had chosen a different course of action for himself. It had taken him over a week to fully recover, but rather than simply bide his time, he spent the entire period researching; borrowing book after book from the magic shop to learn all he could. He had pawned both his TV and refrigerator to get some quick cash which he had used to pay off various demons and vampires at Willy’s tavern, generously compensating them for any information they had. It had been a risky venture. Almost every time he went to the bar there was a demon looking for a fight, or a group of vamps that had heard of his reputation as the Slayer’s ally. Spike had understood for quite awhile now that it was only a matter of time before he faced a demon or a vampire that was just a little bit better than him and wound up as a pile of ashes. Now more than ever this did not matter to him. He had nothing left to lose. He refused to die before seeking his revenge, however. That was completely out of the question. Through his research back in Sunnydale, he had learned all that he needed to know. The day of Buffy’s funeral he had left a note for Willow, the only member of the group that he felt truly believed in him, save for Dawn. Dawn. Even thinking about her got him choked up. He had failed her, just like he had failed Buffy. No. He couldn’t lose focus now. He had been searching through LA like a madman, but now he knew where to look. The vampire tore open glove compartment and pulled out a fancy looking case along with his flask. He ripped the lid off of the box and pulled out its contents; a small, lethal handgun that he quickly loaded and slipped into his pocket. Reaching over to the back seat, he hid a switchblade up his coat sleeve and put another one of the deadly knives into his boot. Now fully armed, he took a quick swig from the flask before re-sealing it and tossing it back in the compartment.

“It ends tonight, luv. I promise,” Spike whispered as he started his car.

----

***

LIKE GRANDFATHER…

Murk’s hands were beginning to feel sore from having been rubbed together so much, but he nervously continued to wring his fingers, as he took a moment to look toward his cohorts. The three demons stared at him, curiously, and he scowled at them.

“Well what are you looking at? Keep pacing it makes the time go faster,” Murk commanded. The other three demons immediately followed his command, pacing back and forth in the condemned warehouse, eagerly awaiting the return of their impromptu leader. Glory’s Minions were all that remained of the expired hell-god’s empire. When the Slayer and her friends had arrived to rescue the Key, the craggy-skinned demons had done their best to prevent the ritual from being stopped. Most of their cohorts had paid for it with their lives. As far as Murk knew, they were the only five remaining members of the clan. They had reassembled and left the Hellmouth together in hopes of hiding out in Los Angeles until things cooled down. It had been several weeks since the failed ritual, however, and the group was growing edgy. A burning question remained; what should they do now? They had dedicated their lives to Glorificus and now she was dead, as was the one who had defeated her in combat, thus making revenge a moot point. Murk seriously doubted that there were any other hellgods in this area that required their services, but as much as he hated to admit it, it was becoming somewhat enjoyable not having Glory around to threaten his life on a daily basis. Unlike some of his associates, he had never been a big fan of the martyrdom concept. Though he would have given his life up for Glorificus, he would not have enjoyed it. Still, she had been his deity, and he was at a loss regarding his existence without her.

“Murk, what if something happened to him?” Gronx asked in her high, squeaky voice.

“He’s always come back before, let’s try and stay positive here,” Murk responded, trying to remain calm.

“Positive? Our god is dead, we’re rotting away in this hole, and you want to think positive?” she hissed, angrily. Murk said nothing and impatiently began tapping his foot, growing more and more anxious by the second, when the door to their hideout opened and Jinx strolled in at a quickened step, an ugly grin on his crusty countenance.

“You’re back,” Murk said, somewhat relieved, and both he and Gronx watched curiously as the other two Minions, Xero and Grzblat, kowtowed before the somewhat taller demon.

“You’ve returned to us, your most crustiness!” Xero squealed with delight.

“Every moment without you is like a lifetime,” Grzblat added. Jinx’s smile only grew at their compliments while Gronx and Murk both rolled their eyes. Their fellow minions were lost without having Glory around to suck-up to, and now that Jinx had taken over as their leader, he had become almost godlike in their eyes. Jinx had in the meantime beckoned them to rise.

“Aha, you are too kind my sycophantic supporters,” the demons’ new leader smiled. “However, I do find it somewhat disconcerting that Gronx and Murk have not given me some sign of their loyalty.” Gronx had wanted to make a wise comment toward their leader in hopes of shutting him up, but Murk shot her a disapproving glare and turned back towards Jinx. As annoying as the lead Minion's ego had gotten over the past few weeks, he was still the brains of their small outfit and there was no sense in angering him when it seemed as though he had information to share.

“Jinx, what have you learned?” he asked, curiously.

“Our days spent in hiding are over,” Jinx said, triumphantly. “I found out about a place in this city run by a powerful demon. He can tell us all that we need to know regarding our futures, we need only go and see him.”

“Perfect, we’ll leave at once!” Murk smiled, but Gronx seemed less than enthused.

“And what does this demon charge for his services?” she asked.

“Why nothing, nothing at all,” Jinx replied. “The only condition is….” and the other Minions grew tense at the mention of the word “condition.” “Well, he can only read our futures if we…sing for him.”

“Sing?” Xero asked, curiously.

“As in…a song?” said Murk.

“Great, we’ll be stuck in this warehouse for the rest of our lives!” Gronx whined, and Jinx looked at her, annoyed.

“What are you talking about? We’ll simply have to do as he requests and sing for him.”

“What should we sing?” Grzblat asked, still rather thrown by the idea.

“Ah, see, I contemplated that on the way back here,” Jinx smiled. “There are five of us, so I thought any song by one of the numerous boy-bands that are so popular in this world would be appropriate.”

“But Gronx isn’t a boy,” Xero pointed out.

“No one will notice,” Murk replied, and Gronx punched him in the shoulder, angrily.

“My vote is for The Backstreet Boys,” said Grzblatt as he raised his hand.

“I prefer N’Synch,” Xero piped in.

“No, let’s sing something by New Kids on the Block, and kick it old school…or something similar,” Murk said, painfully attempting a dance step. Gronx felt herself growing nauseous as she listened to the Minions argue over what song to sing, and cleared her throat, frustrated.

“We’re not starting a band here, cretins, we’re trying to find out about our futures,” she said.

“Well I can tell you about that,” they suddenly heard a strange voice say from the other side of the warehouse. They all looked up to see a dark figure standing in the doorway, masked by the shadows. His voice had a vengeful fury in it that frightened all of them, and Jinx squinted to try and see who it was that had discovered their hideaway. “Your futures are all looking very, very short.” The intruder stepped from out of the darkness into the moonlight that poured in through the windows, and Jinx’s jaw dropped as he recognized the bleached-blonde vampire. Slowly, the demon’s eyebrows narrowed, and the fear in him began to dissipate.

“Oh look, it’s the Slayer’s pet vampire, how quaint,” he said, trying to mirror the arrogance Glory had shown when Willow had come seeking vengeance for Tara. Spike didn’t take his eyes off of them for a second, slowly and methodically moving towards the group, his face abruptly contorting to its true, horrifying form. Jinx felt his confidence draining as he saw the bloodthirsty look in the vampire’s eyes, and he quickly shoved Xero and Grzblat forward. “Get him!” As the two demons ran toward him, Spike calmly drew his pistol and emptied three shots into the both of them without so much as blinking. They were dead before they even hit the floor. Murk sprang forward as well and managed to kick the gun from his hand, but Spike didn’t even bother trying to retrieve it as he blocked some of the demon’s punches and then sent him flying backwards with a powerful uppercut. As Gronx tried to help the unconscious Murk to his feet, Jinx stared at Spike, amazed with the fury being exhibited by the vampire. The Minion reached down to his belt and drew his dagger as Spike continued toward him without any trepidation. Jinx made a clumsy lunge for him, attempting to slit his throat, but Spike easily caught his arm and forced the knife out of his hands. He then slammed the lead Minion into the wall and drew one of his own switchblades.

“Let’s get down to business,” the vampire growled, and he jammed the dagger into Jinx’s right shoulder, pinning him against the wall. The demon roared in pain, but Spike clutched his throat and squeezed tightly, muffling his screams. If he had squeezed just a little bit harder, he could have snapped the Minion’s neck, and as much as he wanted to, he suppressed his inner rage for the moment. “I have a question for you. I’m going to kill you whether or not you answer me.” His voice was terrifyingly calm. Murk had since recovered from the harsh blow the vampire had dealt him, and he charged at Spike from behind. Without even turning around, William the Bloody simply thrust his fist backward and smiled a little as he felt it smash against Murk’s skull. The Minion fell to the floor once again and Spike continued speaking. “If you answer me, I’ll make it nice and quick. If you don’t…you’re going to die very, very, very slowly. I’m going break every single bone in your body one at a time, then I’m going to cut you again, and again, and again until there’s only enough blood left inside you to keep you alive. And then,” he reached into his pocket and Jinx’s eyes widened in horror as he watched the vampire produce a twelve-inch long, thoroughly corroded railroad spike. “I’m going to take this, and drive it through your skull. I can hammer it in until it goes all the way through part of your brain and you still won’t die. And after it’s all done…I’ll just start over again with one of your little friends.” Spike jammed a second blade into Jinx’s left shoulder and leapt over toward where Gronx stood with the speed of the cat. She had been inching towards the exit in hopes of escaping, but he grabbed her by the neck and flung her against the wall like a ragdoll. “Stick around pet, this party’s just beginning.” The vampire walked back over to the crucified Jinx and grabbed the Minion’s crusty hand, tightening his grip around the demon's thumb. “How about we start with your fingers? This little piggy went to market...”

“No, please!” Jinx cried before Spike could do anything. “I’ll tell you everything.”

“There’s a good chap,” the vampire said without any humor in his voice. “Where do I find the demon they call Doc?” He could see him right now in his mind, haunting his every thought. Since the day that Buffy had sacrificed her life for Dawn he had been plotting his revenge on the creature responsible for her demise. Though there had been no sign of him after the violent battle, he knew that Doc had survived the fall from the top of the tower. He still had not identified what class of demon the old man fell under, but he knew that whatever Doc was, he was virtually impossible to kill. Virtually. However, through Giles’ books and the information that his contacts in Sunnydale had given him, Spike now knew how to make it so the reptilian demon stayed dead. The vampire shook his head for a moment, trying to block out his visions of the kindly looking old man that had once seemed completely harmless. He refocused on Jinx who, despite the pain in his face, still managed to look confused.

“I…I don’t know who that is,” Jinx said, terrified of what the repercussions of his reply would be. Spike could see that the demon was telling the truth but he grabbed the Minion’s throat nonetheless and began squeezing again.

“A powerful demon that worshipped your god. Looks like an innocent old man. He was based in Sunnydale and I know that he’s here in LA now. Tell me where I can find him,” Spike growled.

“I don’t know…I swear to you I don’t know,” Jinx wailed, and Spike felt himself beginning to lose patience.

“We’ve never seen such a demon,” Gronx called from off to the side, and Murk nodded energetically. Their honesty was beginning to make him uneasy and the vampire wondered if they truly had no information that could help him. He refused to accept this after how far he had come.

“You must know something. That hell-bitch you worshipped had to have mentioned him once,” Spike said, desperately. Jinx only shook his head, and Spike stepped forward so that he was right in the demon’s face. “Glory was his god, he said that there were others besides you that worshipped the Beast.”

“Glorificus was evil incarnate,” Gronx said. “Any demon that wanted to see this world destroyed would have found her divine.” Spike’s heart fell and he looked down at the floor as Gronx’s words sunk in. They had no idea who he was talking about. If he was ever going to find Doc, it would not be with their help. Suddenly, he heard the door to the warehouse open and he whirled around to see who was there. He could hardly believe his eyes as he saw another vampire that he knew all too well enter the building. Angel froze in his steps and stared across the room at his grandson, completely stunned.

“Spike?” he whispered.

“Angel,” Spike responded. It was in this moment of confusion that Jinx made his move. Biting his tongue to numb the pain he reached over to his shoulder and pulled the knife out of his body. Angel gasped as he looked toward the demon.

“Look out!” he shouted to Spike, but it was too late. As his grandson turned back around, Jinx stabbed the knife forward into his side. The vampire howled in agony as the blade cut into his flesh, and Jinx quickly pulled the other switchblade out of his shoulder, wincing in pain from the wounds. Without saying a word he ran toward the nearest exit with Murk and Gronx following close behind. Despite the numerous injuries that the vampire had dealt them, the three demons escaped through the door and ran as fast as they could. Spike turned and tried to follow but collapsed to his knees, in too much pain to pursue them. His game face dissolved as he grunted and cursed, and Angel quickly ran over to the younger vampire. He caught his grandson just before his body hit the floor and supported him under his shoulder.

“You all right?” the elder vampire asked, and Spike made no response as he pulled the switchblade out of his abdomen.

“Fan-bloody-tastic,” he growled as he tried to block out the pain in his body. He stared at the open door that the Minions had escaped out of and then looked back at Angel, rage in his eyes. Without a second’s hesitation he wound up and punched his grandfather in the face as hard as he could. Angel had not seen the blow coming and it sent him staggering backwards. Without the other vampire to support him, Spike fell to the floor but immediately struggled back to his feet to face off against his arch-rival. “You moron!” he screamed at Angel, who stood rubbing his jaw. “You let them get away!” The elder vampire stared at him in silence before speaking up again.

“Those were Glory’s Minions?” he asked.

“No shit, Sherlock. How the hell did you know about them anyway? And what in God’s name are you doing here? Did that poofter at the karaoke bar send you here after me?”

“Lorne? No, I had no idea you were in LA. I found out that they were here from a connection of mine,” Angel said. Spike paused and looked at the other vampire curiously.

“Why the hell were you looking for them?”

“Same as you I’d wager. Willow told me all about what happened the night that…that Buffy died; how some demon had bled Dawn and then escaped. After the funeral…I started looking for him in Sunnydale, then here in LA. I went out looking every night. All I could think about were the things I would do to him after I found him. I went to Caritas and Lorne couldn’t locate him for me either. Then I heard that some of the hellgod’s Minions had escaped to LA. Thought maybe they knew something.” The two vampires continued to stare at one another and Spike instantly realized how much they truly had in common. He was by now very aware of the pain of his wound, which was still bleeding profusely. “That cut looks pretty bad,” Angel started to say.

“I’ve had worse,” Spike grunted, frankly.

“Did they tell you anything?”

“They didn’t know anything,” the younger vampire sighed, shaking his head. “He could be anywhere in this hell hole.”

“Or any other hell hole,” Angel pointed out, but Spike shook his head.

“No…I know he’s here. A few nights after it happened…I started having these dreams,” he said, and it was obvious difficult for him to speak on this subject. “It’s like…I’m standing there reliving the last few seconds before…before I got thrown off the tower. But there’s something different. Right before he throws me off the scaffolding he says something to me like…“See you in Hell A.” I knew it was a longshot but it was the best lead I had.”

“And you’ve been looking for him here since then?” Angel asked.

“Mostly,” the blonde vampire replied as he lit a cigarette to try and distract himself from the pain. “Nobody I talked to had heard of him though. The green guy at the club told me I could find the hell-bitch’s Minions here.” Spike took a long drag of the cigarette and took a moment to retrieve his gun as Angel considered this for a few seconds before speaking again.

“Before I left Sunnydale, Willow said you’d disappeared,” he said, quietly. “Why didn’t you tell me you were here?” Spike sneered at the question, almost laughing out loud.

“Has it ever occurred to you how much I hate you?” he asked the elder vampire. “I could write a book on the reasons why, and you know what would be at the top of the list? I knew that no matter how much I tried, she would never look at me the same way she looked at you,” the vampire said, true emotion in his voice. Spike suddenly paused, wondering if Angel had any idea what he was talking about. It was as though the older vampire could read his grandson’s thoughts as he looked at him.

“Yeah…Willow told me about you…and Buffy,” Angel said, slowly. He found himself unable to say anything else for the moment as he looked toward Spike once more.

"Wasn't much to tell," Spike mumbled, but Angel could see that he didn't mean it.

“How did it happen?”

“I thought I’d gone over this with you once,” Spike sighed. “Love isn’t something you can explain or rationalize. It comes from in here,” he said, pointing to his chest. “And if you want to think it was just a passing fancy that’s fine, I don’t bloody well care. I never once cared what you thought and I never will.”

“Last time you were in LA…I promised myself that if I ever saw you again, I'd kill you or die trying." Spike tensed for a moment, anticipating a possible attack, but quickly discarded the idea as he realized that if Angel had wanted to kill him, he would have made his move already. "After Will told me about you…I still wanted you dead. But then she told me about everything else you’d done. How you were willing to give your own life up for Buffy and Dawn. You may despise me, Spike, but I could never hate you; not after what you did for them.”

“What I did for them?” Spike said, his heart in his throat. “Did Will happen to mention that I failed miserably trying to save Dawn? If I had held on for just a few seconds longer, just a few seconds, it would have been too late. The ritual wouldn’t have started and she wouldn’t have had to die. I let that monster cut that little girl….” He was unable to say anything else and Angel watched as the younger vampire violently wiped tears from his eyes. He started to walk toward his grandson and was about to put his arm around him, but Spike shook it off, wishing to be alone with his misery.

“Well, at least you were there for them when they needed you the most,” Angel said in a whisper, and Spike looked at his grandfather, curiously. He suddenly understood what the Host had said about Angel feeling as guilty as he did about Buffy’s death. For a minute they didn’t say anything but Angel broke the silence between them.

“Listen…I had one last plan to find this Doc guy in case the Minions couldn’t tell me anything. A few nights ago, a friend of mine found this spell that might be able to locate him. It's kind of a last resort; he's not an expert with these things and the spell's supposedly unpredictable, but it's the only option we have left. Maybe we could…try and find him together.” Spike stared at his grandfather in disbelief.

“You mean…team up? The two of us?” he asked.

“As I recall we made a pretty good team once…when we weren’t at each other’s throats.”

“That was a long time ago Angelus,” Spike said, “and we were both very different demons back then.”

“You once told me demons don’t change,” said Angel.

“Yeah, well, maybe I was wrong,” Spike retorted, curtly.

“Even if the spell doesn’t work, we could compare the areas where we looked, see what parts we might have missed,” Angel suggested. Spike said nothing and looked down at the ground. “Look, this guy bested you once. The only other person that ever beat you was Buffy. We stand a better chance taking him out if we fight him as a team. You said that you know how to kill him?”

“Yeah, but this isn’t any half-ass chaos demon we’re dealing with,” Spike responded. “This guy’s dangerous.”

“Never stopped you before. I thought you liked fights where you couldn’t predict the outcome.”

“I do,” Spike nodded. “But this is one fight that I have to win.” Angel nodded, understanding.

“So what’s it going to be? This guy gets away, chances are he’ll end up making other people suffer. I know we can stop him if we work together; provided we don’t kill each other first.” The cursed vampire extended his hand out toward Spike who stared at it curiously before looking his grandfather in the eyes.

“All right,” he nodded, though he refused to shake Angel’s hand. “But I’m not doing this for you or for anyone else. I’m doing it for Buffy and Dawn.”

“Actually,” Angel said as he lowered his arm, “so am I.”

----

***

PREPARATIONS

Spike had followed Angel back to the Hyperion and he grabbed a few of the books he had borrowed from the magic shop out of the trunk of his DeSoto. As they entered the vampire’s building, the blonde vampire looked around and gave a short whistle.

“I see you’ve done pretty well for yourself playing Sherlock Holmes.”

“It’s a living,” Angel said, sarcastically. They walked through the lobby toward the stairs, and Wesley came down the steps to meet them, a frustrated look on his face. “Something wrong, Wesley?” the vampire asked, fully knowing what had upset his associate.

“Angel, why didn’t you tell us that you were going after Glory’s Minions tonight? We’ve been through all of this before. I know you blame yourself for what happened to Buffy, but there’s no reason for you to face these things alone and end up getting yourself killed,” he said.

“Who’s this then, Dr. Watson?” Spike asked.

“I beg your pardon?” Wesley said turning toward the stranger. “Angel, who is this?”

“Um, Wesley this is…”

“Spike!” Cordelia shrieked from the top of the staircase, frozen in her tracks.

“Spike?” Wesley gasped.

“Oh bloody hell,” Spike mumbled, as he looked around for somewhere to drop the books in his arms.

“Wesley, here!” Cordelia shouted as she drew a stake from her pocket and threw it to him. Spike’s eyes widened as the former Watcher plucked the weapon out of the air and stabbed it down toward his chest in one swift motion.

“Wes, no!” Angel shouted as he caught Wesley’s s arm just in time. The blonde vampire frowned at the realization that he had almost been killed by one of Angel’s scrawny little pissants and glared at his grandfather angrily.

“They don’t even know about me?” he shouted.

“No, they came back to Sunnydale a little later than me, and your name never came up."

"You could have told them, gramps."

"Spike, no offense, but when I talk to my co-workers, you’re the last person on my mind,” Angel said as he gently released Wesley’s hand.

“Would somebody please tell me why that monster is here?” Cordelia asked as she cautiously approached the group.

“Hello Cordelia, nice to see you too,” Spike responded sarcastically. “What the hell happened to your hair?” Cordelia’s eyes narrowed in fury as Wesley stared at Angel.

“This had better be good,” the ex-Watcher said, crossing his arms.

“It’s not what you think; he’s on our side,” Angel said.

“Are you crazy? The last time he was here he tortured the hell out of you to try and get that, that ring thingy,” Cordelia frowned.

“Oh sure, you had to bring that up,” Spike mumbled, as Angel glared at him.

“Spike, shut up for a second. Listen, I know it’s difficult to accept but he’s one of us now. He’s been helping everyone up in Sunnydale for the past year. I didn’t find out about it myself until Willow told me a few weeks ago.”

“Buffy never mentioned me to you, did she?” Spike asked, quietly, somewhat hurt by this idea.

“Well…no offense but when she wrote to me, you were….”

“The last person on her mind,” the vampire said, completing the sentence.

“She probably didn’t want to tell me because she knew I’d go up to Sunnydale the first chance I got and stake you,” said Angel.

“That sounds like a plan to me,” Wesley said, frowning. “Angel you’re not thinking clearly. Cordelia told me about the things that this creature has done, he cannot be trusted. He doesn’t have a soul.” Spike turned toward his grandfather and glared at him as if to say I told you so. It was always the same thing, he would never measure up to Angel in the eyes of anyone who knew the two of them. Spike decided he had had enough right then and there.

"Hey, now one sec there mate. For the past two years I've had to put up with all this crap about not having a soul. I'm no expert in these things, but the way I see it, a soul is what helps you know right from wrong; gives you a conscience…a strong set of principles, right?" Wesley sighed but nodded nonetheless.

"Nobody can say for sure what a soul is, and your definition is a highly simplified one, but yes, you've covered part of it."

"Well, I'm here in LA for revenge on a demon who took away everything that was important to me, everything that I loved." Wesley and Cordelia looked at each other, more confused than ever, but Spike continued before they had time to think about it. "I'm not sure if that's right or wrong, but it does mean that your boss and I are on the same page for once and I'm more than ready to let bygones be bygones if it means settling the score with the guy I'm after." There was an uncomfortable pause before Cordelia spoke up. Though Wesley had never met Spike until now, Cordelia had been there when he had first come to Sunnydale, and she easily remembered all the atrocities he had committed: his raid on the school on Parent's Night, almost killing Buffy on Halloween and countless times after, the Order of Taraka, the Judge, kidnapping Xander and Willow, having Angel tortured…the list was virtually endless.

"I don't like this, Angel…I don't trust him," she said, quietly.

“Buffy trusted him. She trusted him so much that she let him look after Dawn.” As Spike listened to Angel defend him, he tried once again to clear his head from the painful images flashing inside his mind.

“I’m counting on you to protect her.”

“Till the end of the world.”

“Look, I need his help,” the cursed vampire said, firmly. “I thought that you two would trust me enough to accept that.” Wesley and Cordelia looked to one another, still unsure, but Wesley finally nodded.

“All right, but I hope you know what you’re doing.”

"Right then," Spike said, cheerlessly, "we going to try this sodding spell or what?"

"First you'd better get that stab wound dressed," Angel said.

"I'm fine, Angel," Spike growled, annoyed.

"You're not going to be any help against Doc if you fight him while you're gushing blood. Cordelia, please get some bandages." The girl reluctantly nodded and walked off as the two vampires and Wesley walked toward a nearby desk.

"The Minions didn't talk?" the young intellectual asked.

"They talked, but apparently they didn't have anything to say worth hearing," Angel said.

"And of course you had to give them the chance to escape before I could finish 'em off," Spike muttered as he sat down in a chair and pulled off his duster, his ripped T-shirt now soaked with blood.

"Forget them, they're not worth it," Angel said, turning toward Wesley. "Looks like we're going to need to do that spell after all." The former Watcher sighed before looking Angel in the eyes.

"You know I'll do what it takes to help, but I have very little experience with witchcraft, let alone a spell like this. The translation isn't even complete. Angel, if things go awry, the consequences could be disastrous. As long as you're bent on tracking down this demon, I think it would be best to call Willow and ask her to come…"

"No," Spike suddenly said, loudly and resolutely. "Willow is looking after Dawn. There's nothing more important for her to be doing right now." Dawn still had the destructive energy of the key inside her and if the knights were still coming after her, Willow was the only one who could protect her. Spike knew that Willow was more powerful than him…that she would succeed where he had failed so dismally. Wesley stared at the vampire in disbelief for the moment, and Angel too looked surprised. The elder vampire nodded toward his grandson, however, before facing Wesley once more.

"He's right, we're just going to have to make do." Cordelia suddenly reappeared with some bandages and called to Spike from over by the sink.

"Spike, you'd better come and wash that wound before you wrap it," she said. The vampire nodded and walked over toward where she was standing. She handed him the bandages and some balm along with a new shirt that he assumed was Angel's.

"Thanks," he said, quietly before stepping toward the faucet, and the look of disbelief in Wesley's countenance had now appeared on her own face. She nodded, astonished, and walked back toward where her co-workers stood.

"Angel…how did all this happen?" she asked, speaking in a hushed tone.

"This goes completely against anything I've ever read about vampires," Wesley nodded. "What's caused this change in him?"

"Willow told me that just about two years ago he was captured by these soldiers working for the government. They experimented on him, inserted some kind of microchip in his head. If he tries to hurt people, the chip shocks him." Wesley listened in fascination as Angel continued. "Sometime after, he fell in with Buffy and everyone up in Sunnydale, started helping them when he found out he could kill vampires and demons."

"But that doesn't make sense…why would he just…help them like that? He's still a vampire and vampire's are supposed to.…"

"I don't know, Wes. Spike's always been different. Ever since he was first sired. Any other vampire would probably have abandoned Drusilla; she was completely out of her mind. For some reason, he didn't." Wesley still looked skeptical and after taking a glance back toward the bathroom where Spike stood, he looked at Angel firmly.

"Angel have you ever read Anthony Burgess' A Clockwork Orange?" Wesley asked. The vampire rolled his eyes, knowing where this was going.

"No but I've seen the movie," Angel said, recalling for a moment how fond he was of Stanley Kubrick films.

"Well your…grandson's case is not unlike Alex's, and I think a certain question must be asked; Is this vampire necessarily good if he is unable to perform acts of evil?"

"I didn't say that he's good…."

"But you did say he's one of us," Cordelia put in.

"I just find it hard to accept that a simple piece of machinery could have changed a vampire so tremendously," Wesley said.

"And what did he mean before about Doc taking away everything he…oh my God. No…no that can't be," Cordelia said, and Wesley looked confused. "He…he loved Buffy?" Cordelia asked, thunderstruck.

"What?" Wesley gasped.

"Yeah," Spike answered, and they all turned toward him, startled. He had finished bandaging his wound and was just buttoning the shirt she had given him. "I loved her. I'm sure you can't understand that and I don't want you to waste time trying. Oh, and nice comparison between me and Alex, mate. Any other literary characters I remind you of?" There was the slightest trace of menace in the vampire's voice, and it frightened both Wesley and Cordelia.

"Um well…." Wesley stuttered, nervously.

"Actually, I've got a better idea, how about we get down to business and start discussing more important books, like spell books?" Wesley remained silent and pale as Angel nodded.

"Good idea," Angel said. "Wes, you have that text?"

"Um yes, of course," the ex-Watcher nodded as he lifted up a large, ancient looking book which he slowly paged through; gently turning the sheets so as not to damage them.

"I brought some of my own…from Giles' shop," Spike said as he grabbed the books he had borrowed from the Magic Shop. "Maybe they can help." It was a long-shot he supposed, but some of these texts were thicker than the Webster Dictionary. They had to be of some value. Wesley looked at the titles of the various manuscripts and his eyes locked on the title of one of the larger volumes.

"Well…this could prove quite useful," he said, slowly looking through the table of contents.

"Does Giles know you took these?" Angel asked, as Wesley continued his reading.

"The man was once a librarian, he probably got used to people borrowing his books a long time ago," Spike said, smirking a little. Wesley suddenly stood up, smiling.

"Angel, I think this is just what we need. This detection spell seems much more suitable for the situation we're in. I just have to go and get a few components from the basement."

"Great, thanks Wes. Cordy, you can go help him, Spike and I have to go over a few things before we try the spell." Cordelia nodded and followed Wesley down the stairs as Angel turned back to Spike, who looked somewhat confused.

"What do we need to go over?" he asked, curiously.

"You're forgetting I've never even seen this guy before. Xander only gave me a quick description of what he looked like. What kind of powers does he have and how do we fight him?"

"Can't say exactly," Spike sighed. "He's like…part reptile, and fast. You take your eye off him for a second, a second later he's somewhere else. Thought he might be some kind of teleporter. Far as fighting him goes, you fight him like you do any other demon; it's killing him that's the hard part."

"But you said you know how." Spike nodded.

"I found out about this chemical, well, more of a potion really, that neutralizes demon healing powers. Got it stowed in my car. It's concentrated enough to poison a vampire to death. What we have to do is get it into his bloodstream somehow." Angel nodded.

"If he's as fast as you say, it's not going to be easy."

"Nothing ever is," Spike said in agreement. "I don't have that much of the stuff but I've got a few ideas on how we can use it; line a few projectile weapons, crossbow arrows, throwing knives. After he's poisoned, we take him down hard once and for all. Oh, and I don't want Cordelia and what's-his-name coming with us, they'll just get in the way."

"His name is Wesley and he's a friend of mine," Angel said, angrily. "I once let my own arrogance destroy my friendship with the two of them. I'm not going to allow that to happen again."

"Fine," Spike shrugged. "But my sole focus is going to be the demon, so if you're looking for someone to protect your little friends, better do it yourself."

"Don't worry, I will," Angel retorted, and Spike could see that something was troubling the vampire.

"Let me guess, the problems with your mates sprung up during the whole Dru and Darla messing with your head phase," Spike said, and Angel stared at him. "I ran into Dru not too long ago, seems she and Darla had big plans for you."

"And they almost got away with it," Angel sighed, recalling his failures over the past few months.

"Well, well, you're not quite so perfect after all, are you?" Spike said, mockingly. Angel whirled around and glared at him.

"I never said I was perfect," Angel growled. "I'm far from it."

"Hey, you don't have to tell me mate," Spike said.

"What the hell is your problem?" Angel asked, his temper growing.

"Don't start with me, Peaches," Spike growled, "or I'll kick your ass as a warm-up." That was the last straw for Angel who grabbed his grandson by the shirt collar and shoved him against the wall.

"Spike, we were doing all right until you opened your mouth, so why don't you just shut up? You know, you should have heard Willow defending you. She told me you had changed…"

"Some things will never change, " the younger vampire growled as he pulled himself free of his grandfather's grip. "Like the fact that Buffy and Drusilla loved you more than they could ever have loved me." Angel saw the hurt and anger in his face. "I've never been able to measure up to you in anything; whether you were good or evil…so excuse me if I act a little frustrated when I'm around you." Before Angel could say anything, Spike turned around and walked over to the refrigerator, pulling out a blood packet. He bit into the plastic and began drinking out of it, hungrily, as Angel simply sighed and went back toward the desk.

"Dawn loves you," the elder demon said, quietly, not even looking at Spike. The blond vampire choked on the blood he was drinking and stared at Angel in shock as he continued speaking. "She hates me but she loves you."

"What?"

"She barely said a word to me when I was in Sunnydale…like…I should have been there during the whole thing with Glory," Angel said. "And she's right," he whispered. "Then your name came up somehow and she just started crying. She misses you." Spike couldn't take anymore and dropped the blood packet, covering his ears.

"Shut up. Just shut up!" he said, trying to escape the image of Dawn in his mind. There she was, clad in the dress that made her look like a princess. She was a princess, and he was supposed to have been her knight in shining armor. But her eyes were wide with despair, her mouth hanging open in horror. He could hear her gasp even over Doc's voice.

"I'll send the lady your regrets." Spike had gotten one last look at Dawn before he had been thrown from the tower. The statement on her face had told him everything. He knew that in that moment she had understood; he had failed her. He had failed to protect her. He had tried his best but his best had not been good enough. He would never forgive himself for that. Ever. Angel frowned as he bent down and picked up the leaking blood packet, wishing he could console his grandson but not knowing how. He silently wiped up the spilled blood with a few tissues which he quickly discarded, and said nothing as he sat back down at the desk. At the same time, Cordelia and Wesley were busy gathering up the various ingredients needed for the spell that Wesley had found in Spike's book.

"I think that should just about do it," said Wesley, as he finished putting the last elements in a box. Cordelia nodded and they started to walk toward the stairs once more.

"Wesley, can I ask you something?" Cordelia said, stopping suddenly.

"Certainly, what's on your mind?"

"Are you worried about Angel?" she asked. He stared at her, confused.

"Um…well, how do you mean exactly?" he said, curiously.

"The way he's been since Buffy died…he's obsessed with getting revenge on this Doc guy. I don't know…he's acting just like he did before he fired us."

"Angel learns from his mistakes, Cordelia, he would never do anything like that again," Wesley said, dismissing the idea.

"But he's becoming careless. He almost got killed by that…squid-face demon last week, then he went after those Minions without even telling us, and now he's all set to make friends with Spike if it means getting revenge." Wesley had to admit that he found Angel's readiness to trust Spike somewhat disconcerting, for although the younger vampire's feelings seemed genuine, he was still just that, a vampire. Even if the blonde vampire meant what he said, his very presence could have a negative effect on Angel in other ways.

"It'll be all right," he said, quietly. "Um, why don't you page Gunn, tell him to meet us here?" Cordelia nodded and pulled out her cell phone as they walked up the stairs together. Wesley walked over to the two vampires and looked into the spell book once more.

"Wes, before we do anything else, are you sure you and Cordy want to come with me on this one? It's going to be…"

"Dangerous, yes I know, just like everything else we do. I'm not about to let you face this on your own and neither is Cordelia," Wesley said, steadfastly. Even in his misery, Spike managed to feel a certain respect for Wesley. The little bugger obviously cared about both Angel and Cordelia, and he had guts, but if he wasn't careful he was probably going to end up having them spilled out by Doc. Angel nodded in the meantime, having no desire to argue with his coworker.

"Exactly how does this spell work?" the vampire asked.

"Well, I'm not positive…if I perform it right, we'll supposedly be guided to the demon. By what, your guess is as good as mine."

"So make with the casting," Spike said, his voice broken. Wesley ignored him and turned toward Angel.

"Perhaps we should wait for Gunn. Cordelia's calling him right now." Angel nodded as Spike frowned at him.

"We're wasting time."

"Relax Spike, it's only one o'clock, we've got plenty of time left to find him. Gunn's a good fighter, we could use his help." Spike grunted his approval and lit a cigarette.

"He's on his way," Cordelia told Angel as she turned off the phone and walked over. The vampire nodded before turning toward his grandson again.

"Spike why don't you go get some of the weapons you brought? We can line them with the venom now."

"Yeah, all right. Oh, and listen you two," he said, looking at Wesley and Cordelia. "When we go after Doc, you're going to have to watch out for yourselves."

"I assure you we're perfectly capable of…" Wesley started to say.

"Yeah, well just in case this Gunn can't protect you," Spike said as he reached into the pocket of his duster, "maybe this one can." He handed the weapon and an extra clip to Wesley who stared at it in surprise. The vampire had originally made plans to line the bullets with the venom, but the procedure had gone awry and he had ended up wasting a good amount of the poison in the process. "If he doesn't have the poison in his system, it won't kill him but it'll slow him down in case you get in trouble. And be careful where you're aiming it."

"Um…thanks," said Wesley. Spike said nothing as he walked out to his DeSoto, while Wesley continued to stare at the handgun. The vampire came back in a few seconds later, carrying his arsenal with him. He also produced a small vial containing a few milliliters of a green fluid. As he and Angel carefully lined a few throwing knives and arrows with the venom, Cordelia and Wesley waited for Gunn to appear. After a short while, the streetwise youth arrived at the Hyperion, and Angel walked over to greet him.

"Thanks for coming on such short notice," the vampire said, shaking his hand.

"Not a problem man," the self appointed slayer responded, smiling. "So, we gonna go butcher this demon or what?"

"I been asking them that all night, mate," Spike called over from the desk as he finished dipping a second throwing knife in venom.

"Gunn, this is Spike," Angel said, barely acknowledging his grandson as they walked over. "He's helping out on this one."

"Spike? As in, Spike your grandson?" Gunn asked, confused. Angel looked over at Cordelia who shrugged, embarrassed.

"We were bored and started talking about the worst vampires we ever faced," she explained.

"And you picked me?" Spike said, genuinely flattered as Cordy nodded. "Hey, that's decent of you, thanks pet. Um…not that I care about that sort of thing anymore," he said, trying to cover up what he had said.

"You and your reputation," Angel muttered, realizing how true it was that some things never change.

"Is there any particular reason that we're not staking him?" Gunn asked Wesley, curiously.

"He's on our side, and we need his help in fighting this demon."

"Well don't mind if I'm a little skeptical but the last time we trusted a vampire that lacked in the soul department, things didn't go as planned," Gunn pointed out.

"Spike's situation is very different from Harmony's, Gunn," Angel said, and Spike looked toward his grandfather, curious at hearing his ex-girlfriend's name. He almost inquired about it but decided that enough time had been wasted already.

"But enough about me, let's talk about Doc," Spike said, standing up and carefully spreading out the weapons on the desk. "Just so all of you know, we're dealing with a powerful and dangerous demon in the shape of a harmless little old man. These weapons are lined with the only thing in the world that will weaken him. You scratch yourself with one, better tell us what kind of funeral you want while you're still conscious. Once he's poisoned, we can take him down, permanently."

"Right," Angel nodded, as he slipped two of the throwing knives into his belt. "Wesley, you'd better try that spell." The former watcher nodded as Spike handed Gunn one of the crossbows and a few poisoned arrows. The vampire then poured the last few drops of venom onto the railroad spike he had threatened Jinx with earlier, carefully slipping it back into the pocket of his duster. With the desk now cleared off, Wesley opened up the spell book and began mixing the chemicals he had brought up from the basement in a small, black pot. He then started reciting an incantation in a language that neither Spike nor Angel had ever head before. Within a minute, the dismissed Watcher was finished, and he frowned as he looked around the room.

"Um…that's really all there is to it."

"But…nothing happened," Cordelia pointed out. Spike really wanted to make a snide remark but thought better of it as he turned toward Wesley, somewhat angered.

"You sure you didn't screw it up?"

"Well, no I can't say for certain. It's like I told you earlier, I'm no expert in these things and…" Before he could finish, a bright light started to emanate from the makeshift cauldron and the group watched in awe as the light took the shape of a small bird. The shimmering creature hovered in place for a moment or two before zooming around the corner toward the doors to the Hyperion. Behind it, the guide left a delicate trail of light that instantly began fading. Spike watched as the magical creature blasted out the door of the hotel and immediately charged toward the entranceway.

"Come on, follow the trail!" the vampire shouted. He rushed outside and hopped into his DeSoto, cranking the car into high gear.

"Spike, wait!" Angel called as they ran after him, but he had already jammed his foot on the accelerator. As Spike rocketed after the trail of light, the cursed vampire and his companions hurried into his own vehicle.

"Are all your relatives so spontaneous?" Gunn asked as he jumped into the passenger-side seat.

"Dru broke the mold when she sired him," Angel sighed as he put his foot down on the pedal. "Hang on guys."

----

***

THE BATTLE

Spike lit a cigarette as he stepped out of his car, savoring the strong taste of the nicotine as he realized that this could very well be his last smoke. He re-pocketed his lighter with a certain fondness and tossed the now empty pack of cigarettes aside. The trail of light that the mystical guide had left for them to follow had led toward a large aqueduct at the edge of the waterfront. The vampire had parked his vehicle a good distance from the entranceway hoping to draw as little attention to himself as possible. He pulled his crossbow out of the car and held it tautly as he approached the aqueduct, anxiously awaiting his grandfather's arrival. Angel pulled up right in front of the passageway a few moments later and he frowned as he got out of the car.

"Looks like this is the place," Spike said, the cigarette obscuring his speech a little. To his surprise, Angel shook his head.

"It can't be, I searched this area a couple of days ago. I would have found him if he was here." Spike grimaced as he listened to his grandfather's words.

"But this is where the trail ends."

"Well let's not jump to conclusions, Angel. Perhaps you missed something when you first patrolled this area, and it's quite possible he only arrived at this spot today," Wesley said.

"We should at least check it out," Gunn agreed.

"Yeah…you're right," Angel nodded. "Grab your stuff." Gunn hefted a large axe up on his shoulder while Wesley and Cordelia each took crossbows of their own. Spike threw his cigarette aside and stomped it out under his boot before entering the large drain pipe. The stench was horrid, and he did his best to ignore it as he pulled out his lighter to illuminate the dark passage. It was narrow, so much so that they could only walk single file through it.

"Spike, here," Cordelia said, passing him a flashlight, and he gave her a quick thanks as he turned the device on and started forward. As he felt the dirty water squish beneath his boots, he expected to hear the girl start whining any minute but was surprised when she remained silent.

"We sure he's not leading us into a trap, English?" Gunn whispered to Wesley.

"If he is we'll find out soon enough," the ex-Watcher responded, pressing his handkerchief over his nose in hopes of blocking out the horrid odor. Despite a small amount of apprehension, Wesley was almost fully convinced by now that Spike's cruel intentions were aimed specifically at Doc and no one else.

"This seems like the kind of place you'd find a reptile demon," Angel said.

"Yeah," Spike nodded, "but if he is here, it's a sharp contrast to his last hideout," the vampire said, recalling the cozy, inviting little house where he had first met Doc. As they walked deeper into the sewer system, the section widened, and it wasn't long before the area evolved into a virtual maze of passageways. Unfortunately, there was no trace of the guiding bird or the trail of light it had left in its path.

"You searched all of these?" Spike asked, somewhat impressed.

"Pretty much. Most of them meld into one another further down the way."

"Any ideas which way we go?" Gunn asked. Spike and Angel both tried to get a whiff of something other than sewer water, but the overwhelming stench blocked out any scent that Doc might be giving off at the moment.

"We should split up," Angel suggested, passing a walkie-talkie to Cordelia and then to Spike.

"Split up? Oh no…no, no, no," said Cordelia, shaking here head. "Something bad always happens when people split up while trying to find a killer. It's like asking someone "what could possibly go wrong?"; ultimate jinx."

"Cordy, you don't have to come with us," Angel said. "Gunn you and Wesley can go through that pipe, I'll take the one in the center, Spike you take the one on the left."

"What, and you want me to just stay here all alone?" Cordelia started to ask, and she suddenly felt her voice leave her as something crawled over her foot. She looked down and screamed as she watched a small, furry rat scamper by. The terrified girl immediately ran down the passageway in front of her, still managing to hang onto her crossbow.

"Hey, Cordelia, wait up!" Gunn called, hurrying after her. Wesley shook his head as he turned toward Angel.

"If we see him, we'll call you," the young Englishman said, acknowledging the communication device that Cordelia had run off with. "Or scream in terror. Either way…"

"I'll be there," Angel said. Wesley nodded and followed the sound of Gunn and Cordelia's voices down the passage on the right side as Angel looked toward Spike, seriously. "Spike, if you find the demon…"

"I'll use the walkie," Spike nodded as he attached the radio to his belt. "But don’t think I'm going to wait for you to get there before I start fighting him." Angel nodded to his grandson before starting down the center tunnel, and Spike looked toward his own target. He tensely walked down the passageway, his vampire senses closely attuned to everything around him. He took a moment to absorb the fact that this might very well be the end of his search, that Doc was right there, waiting for him. He had spent so much time building up to this moment that he actually felt his hands shaking. The vampire tightened his grip around the crossbow as he journeyed deeper into the tunnel, the sound of rushing water growing louder by the second. He rounded a corner, his finger on the crossbow's trigger, but was shocked and disheartened to find nothing but a dead end.

"Bloody hell," he mumbled as he turned around to walk back out of the tunnel. He took a single step before stopping right in his tracks. Why would Angel send him down a dead end tunnel? After all, he had searched the place only a few days ago; he would more than likely remember which ones lead nowhere. The vampire suddenly looked down at the sewer water, curiously. It was flowing in the opposite direction, and he turned back toward the dead end wall to face the track of the running water. The cement barrier was not obstructing the flow in any visible way, and there was no grating or hole for it to be passing through. Spike curiously reached out and touched the wall, and watched in fascination as his hand passed through it without any difficulty. The "wall" was nothing more than an illusion created through some fancy mojo. He turned his head around and lifted the walkie-talkie to his mouth.

"Hey, Angel, you'd better come look at this," the vampire said. No sooner did he finish speaking but he suddenly felt something coil around his neck and choke him. Spike dropped both his crossbow and the communicator, his hands instinctively going to his neck, and he frowned as he clutched something warm and sticky. He instantly realized that it was Doc's tongue. The vampire fought to stay on his feet, but as the incredibly long appendage retracted, he was pulled down from his vertical base and dragged struggling through the sewer water. His suspicions about the illusion wall were fully confirmed as he was pulled right through the mirage and down a steep incline that had to be at least 20 feet long. Desperate to get free of the makeshift garrote wire around his neck, Spike grabbed the knife he had stuck in his boot earlier and slashed it across the demon's tongue, cutting it badly. It was not lined with any of the magical venom but it still did the trick. He heard the same scream that had echoed in his brain when Xander had first "killed" the old demon, and felt a slight satisfaction as the pressure around his neck was released. The vampire tumbled down the rest of the slope until he hit the rock-solid bottom where the water poured out. Spike struggled to his feet to face his attacker, every ounce of hatred in his body consuming him. Then he saw Doc standing only ten feet away from him, some blood dripping out of his mouth. He was still clad in the fancy looking suit he had worn the night of the ritual, the same suit that he wore in all of Spike's nightmares; nightmares that would soon come to an end one way or another. The vampire took a moment to admire his new surroundings and saw that he was now standing in a large space deep in the sewer system with various pipes emptying water down all around them from up on high. As his face contorted into its horrible vampire form, William the Bloody snarled and focused in on his prey.

"What's up Doc?" he said, growling more than actually speaking.

"Well look who's here," the demon smiled, spitting out some blood as he spoke. "My vampire buddy from Sunnydale."

"Looks like you're moving down in the world," Spike said without smiling.

"Actually I have a nice little place here in Hell A, but I knew you would come after me sooner or later, so I thought this was an appropriate venue for a to-the-death battle." Spike tried to hide his shock at the demon's words and maintained focus. "Unless of course you're not interested in fighting. Maybe you're looking for a spell to resurrect your little friend Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and I might be able to help you in that regard." Spike only felt the fury consume him further.

"Don't you dare even speak her name," he said, passion and hatred in his voice.

"Ooh, hit a nerve did I? You're here why, to get revenge on me for cutting up her little sister…what was her name again…Dawn? You know I can't even remember." That was it. Spike roared the loudest battle-cry that had ever emerged from his throat as he charged forward, his hands outstretched like terrible claws. Within a second, Doc had disappeared from his sight, and Spike whirled around just in time to block the thrust of a wooden stake from the old man. He would never fall for the same trick that Doc had used to best him on the tower.

"You're learning," the demon sneered, somewhat impressed. Were he not so frenzied with rage, the vampire might have made a quick comeback but instead simply flung the demon through the air by the arm. He watched in shock, however, as the old man landed perfectly on his feet. Without a word, the demon threw the wooden stake like a dart, aiming right for the vampire's heart. Spike barely saw the projectile coming toward him and had only half a second to react to it. It was just enough time for him to leap out of the way, and he jumped back toward Doc again without slowing down. This time he managed to get a harsh, strong blow in; slamming the demon in the face. Doc flinched, that was all, and then whipped his tail around, smashing Spike in the gut with the rear appendage. The vampire was sent flying backwards into an actual wall, and felt one of his ribs break in the process.

"When are you going to realize that you can't beat me, Spike?" Doc asked, sounding almost sad. "You couldn't when it really counted, what's the difference now?"

"This time he has back-up," Angel shouted from the top of the passageway that Spike had been pulled through. Doc looked up as the cursed vampire charged down part of the incline and then pounced from twelve feet in the air. Angel saw the reptile demon step out of the way, but managed to land on his feet and whip one of the poison-laced knives out of his belt. He struck out with the blade, trying to stab, slash, or even scratch at Doc, but the demon would have none of it as he leapt over Angel's head and reappeared behind him. The old man drew a knife of his own seemingly from out of nowhere and stabbed Spike's grandfather in the back with it. Angel howled in pain as he collapsed to the ground, and Spike felt as though he was reliving the fight on the tower once again.

"Angel!" Cordelia screamed, as the three other members of Angel Investigations appeared at the top of the drainpipe. Doc looked up at them, distracted for the moment, and in that moment of hesitation Spike tackled the demon; wrestling around with him on the floor of the sewer. Wesley and Cordelia steadied their crossbows, trying to get a clear shot at Doc, but neither one dared pull the trigger, worried they would hit Spike by mistake.

"Gunn, get down there and help Angel!" Wesley barked and, the African American youth nodded as he slid down the inclined waterway, his axe in tow. As Gunn lifted Angel to his feet, the cursed vampire watched his grandson make his move. Using the speed, strength, skill, and fearlessness that had helped him destroy two Slayers, William the Bloody reached into his pocket and pulled out the railroad spike. He jammed it into the demon's shoulder and couldn't help but smile as he watched pain wash over the old man's face. He was determined to make that pain continue as Doc stepped backward and pulled the weapon out of his body, tossing it aside.

"It's too bad you did that, vampire, because now I'm mad." Spike ignored the old man's threats, elated that the demon could now be killed permanently, and he too stepped back to plan his next move.

"How's it feel to know you're going to die in a few seconds Doc?" the vampire sneered, drawing another switchblade from his coat sleeve. Doc only smiled and the entire group looked in horror as his features started to contort. Spike's mouth dropped open as he watched the demon shed its human skin and grow into a frightful creature that stood over eighteen feet tall. The demon now truly looked like a gigantic reptile as it stood on all fours; long claws, sharp fangs, and thick, scaly skin among its most dominant features.

"Funny, I was about to ask you the same thing," the demon said, still managing to sound something like Doc. Spike was so shocked by the creature's transformation that he didn't even notice Doc's tongue emerge and coil around him once more. The vampire could barely resist as Doc dragged him toward his monstrous jaws, ready to bite his head off. Just as Spike realized that this might be the end, he heard his grandfather roar and watched in shock as Angel sprung forward with Gunn's axe in tow, chopping the long, reptilian appendage in two. Doc shrieked in agony and turned his attack toward the wounded Angel as Spike shook free of the tongue's remnants. While Angel tried to hold the demon back by swinging the axe, Wesley clumsily drew the handgun that Spike had given him.

"Angel, get down!" Wesley shouted as he began firing the gun as rapidly as he could. The cursed vampire dove out of the way as a fury of bullets whizzed past him. The slugs found their target and embedded themselves in Doc's scaly skin, but the demon's leathery hide was so thick that the bullets only wounded him. By now, he was gushing his slimy black blood, but he still continued his attack, swiping out at Angel with his claws. Angel barely avoided the violent assault, and Gunn jumped in front of his companion; grabbing the battle axe and hurling it forward with all his strength as though it were a hatchet. The axe embedded itself in Doc's shoulderblade, wounding him further, but he managed to swing his tail around and sent both Gunn and Angel flying backwards with it.

"No!" Cordelia screamed, as she watched her friends crash right through one of the brick walls. Angel had done his best to cushion his friend's fall, knowing that while he would heal from any wounds Doc dealt him, the mortal youth could die instantly.

"Oh…God," Gunn groaned as he clutched his arm, fearing it was broken.

"Are you okay?" Angel asked, truly concerned. "How bad is it?"

"Ask me again in a few minutes," Gunn said through gritted teeth, as he tried to block out the pain. Angel looked back toward Doc and had a sudden realization as he grabbed his walkie talkie, thrilled to see that it still worked. In the meantime, Wesley had slid down the incline and joined the fight alongside Spike, armed with both of the crossbows that he had taken with him.

"Spike, here!" Wesley shouted, as he threw one of the weapons to the vampire. The ex-Watcher immediately fired his bolt at the demon's chest, hoping that at point blank range he could pierce its heart with the thoroughly sharpened poisonous arrow. Like the bullets he had fired previously, however, the arrow only embedded itself in Doc's skin. Spike chose a very different target, and tilted his crossbow upwards, firing his arrow right at the demon's face. Doc screeched as the bolt nailed him right in the eye, completely blinding him on his right side. Clawing at his face and swinging his tail from side to side, the demon instantly became a living wrecking ball, smashing everything in his path to smithereens. In the meantime, Angel emerged from behind the broken wall, his body in complete agony. Still, the cursed vampire managed to limp toward his comrades. As the half-blinded Doc continued to thrash about violently, the three warriors ducked down and crawled towards one another.

"What do we do?" Wesley asked.

"We've got him on the ropes, but we're out of weapons," Spike growled, ignoring the pain of his own wounds.

"Wes, go get Gunn to safety, Spike and I will finish this," Angel managed to say.

"But…."

"Just do it!" Angel ordered, and Wesley crawled toward where Gunn had been left lying, supporting him under his shoulder and leading him up a nearby stairwell. He was shocked to find Cordelia not there waiting for them and grew terrified of the idea that something might have happened to her. She suddenly reappeared through the illusion wall, a red canister in her hands.

"Angel!" she shouted, and he caught the container as she threw it down to him, some of the contents spilling on him. Spike instantly recognized the smell of it and stared at his grandfather in astonishment.

"Spike, distract him for a few more seconds, then wait for my signal," Angel ordered as he slung the canister over his back and ran toward a nearby ladder, climbing toward one of the tall pipes that emptied out into the room. Spike instantly knew what his grandfather was up to and ran in front of Doc, pulling the axe out of the creature's shoulder just as he had done when he had fought the Ghorra demon. Spike took a moment to realize that he would never have fought the Ghorra in the first place had it not been for Doc, though that irony barely amused him at the moment.

"Come on, Popeye, what have you got left?" the vampire shouted, as he swung the axe about, taunting the demon. Doc tried to make an attack but his depth perception had been completely altered with the loss of his eye. Spike took a moment to glance at Angel who had made it to the top of the ladder and swung himself into the large pipe. The cursed vampire tore the lid off of the canister and began pouring the liquid contents down on top of the large, reptilian demon. Doc registered the smell of the gasoline as Spike had done earlier and looked up toward Angel, roaring in fury. As the vampire finished pouring the gas on top of the demon, he looked toward Spike and shouted.

"Now!" Though they had not had any communication about what exactly the plan was, Spike knew his grandfather well enough to understand the part he had to play in all this. He drew his lighter and activated the flame, the small fire glowing brightly in the darkness. Having little doubt that his actions might kill the both of them, Spike ran towards the demon and dropped to his knees, sliding right underneath where Doc stood. The vampire thrust the lighter upward, jamming it against the demon's skin, and the reptile's gasoline-soaked flesh immediately caught ablaze. Spike jumped out of the way as the demon's flaming body fell forward, writhing in agony. The vampire ran towards the inclined passage and clawed his way up the slope where Wesley stood staring in revulsion. Cordelia had taken Gunn back to the car and Angel had retreated down the boundary pipe's passageway only to re-emerge right where they were standing. The three combatants said nothing as they watched Doc's tail give one final rattle before slumping to the ground, lifeless. All that remained of the demon was a charred, smoking corpse, and Spike stepped back and lowered his head in liberation as he realized that this time, Doc was truly dead. A good minute passed before anyone said anything, but it was Wesley who broke the silence.

"We did it," the Englishman said in a whisper, managing to smile. "By God we did it!" Angel too felt a great deal of closure as he stared at the dead beast that had been responsible for his lover's demise.

"Spike…we never could have done it without you," Angel said, staring at the ground. "And I know we've never been friends, even when we were on the same side. But if you're willing to give me the chance, I'd like all that to change now." As he turned to actually hug his grandson for what seemed like the first time in a century, he was shocked when he realized that no one was standing behind him. The blonde vampire had crept away while they had been staring at Doc's corpse. Wesley looked around in surprise as well.

"He just had to miss my big reconciliation speech," the cursed vampire sighed.

"Where in the world did he go?" Angel made no response as he followed the drainage pipe back out toward the exit, taking no notice of the fact that the mirage wall had disappeared completely upon Doc's expiration. He ran out to find Gunn lying down in the back seat of the car and Cordelia doing her best to make him comfortable. She looked up at Angel and Wesley, tears in her eyes, and ran toward them, hugging them both tightly.

"Oh my God, I was so scared," she sobbed, and Angel gently rubbed her back to try and console her.

"You did great Cordelia," Angel said, recalling how essential the gasoline trick had been to their success. She smiled as he released her and stood back, looking around once more. "Did you see Spike come out?" he asked, and she stared at him, confused.

"Um…no I thought he was with you." They all suddenly heard the screeching of tires and watched as the blonde vampire's DeSoto sped away from the waterfront. The three friends looked to one another in confusion, and Wesley could see that there was a good deal of apprehension in Angel's face as well. "Where's he going?" Cordelia asked. Once more, Angel gave no response as he looked at his watch and saw that it was already half past two.

"Come on, we have to get Gunn to a hospital," he said as he got into the car, wincing as he examined the stab wound that Doc had dealt him. He was in bad shape himself, and it would take him some time to heal up. Wesley got in the passenger side, riding shotgun next to Angel, while Cordelia gently got in the back with Guun, cradling his head.

"Do you suppose he wants to be alone?" Wesley asked as Angel started up the car.

"I'm not worried about what he wants," Angel said, concerned. "I'm worried about what he's going to do."

----

***

TO SAVE A VAMPIRE

Giles groaned as he heard the phone ring a third time, fumbling around for his glasses as he sat up in bed. It was three in the morning, and he was in no mood to pick up for a prank call from some brat teenagers at a sleepover party. He doubted that there was any sort of emergency as Willow, Tara, Dawn, Xander, and Anya had all gotten home safely. One could never be certain, however, and he immediately flipped on the light and lifted the ringing phone to his ear.

"Hello?" he said, trying not to yawn.

"Giles, it's Angel," the vampire spoke into the receiver of the hospital pay phone. Gunn was getting an x-ray done to see how badly his arm had been hurt, and while Cordelia and Wesley waited with him, Angel had decided to go with his instincts and call his lover's Watcher.

"Angel, hello," Giles said, curious to hear the vampire's voice. "Is something wrong?"

"Um…yeah, yeah I would say that," Angel responded. "I ran into Spike tonight." Giles froze and wasn't quite sure if he had heard the vampire correctly.

"Spike? You saw him in Los Angeles?"

"He was going after Glory's Minions and…to make a long story short we located Doc together and killed him." Giles couldn't help but shout into the phone.

"You what?!" The Watcher felt like screaming for joy.

"Spike found a way to get rid of him for good. He's not coming back this time."

"That's marvelous news, well done. Oh, if only I could have been there with you," Giles sighed. He had secretly been planning to attempt and find Doc himself. Ironically, it had been Spike's absence that had kept him from doing so as he had hoped to enlist the reformed vampire's help in the matter. Spike had been one step ahead of him all along, however, and the Watcher almost felt ready to forgive the vampire for hurting Dawn's feelings. "I can't believe Spike was in LA this whole time, Dawn's been so depressed about him not being here. May I speak with him?" the Watcher asked, amused as all hell that he actually wanted to talk to Spike.

"Well, see, that's the reason I'm calling," Angel said, and Giles suddenly felt his smile leave him as he realized that there may be much more to this phone-call.

"Oh…he didn't…I mean, Doc didn't…." the Watcher stumbled with his words.

"No, no, he survived, all of us did, but after it was over, he just…disappeared. He got into his car and drove off without saying anything." Giles sighed in relief at the news that Spike had not been killed by the demon, and spoke peacefully into the phone.

"Well I would imagine he simply wants to be alone with his thoughts right now," Giles said, calmly. "We mustn't forget the hell that Doc put him through. I'm sure it's going to take some time…."

"Yeah, I know," Angel interrupted. "But…I just have a bad feeling about this. I'm worried he's going to do something…rash."

"But Spike's always been rash," Giles pointed out.

"He loved Buffy, Giles," Angel said, firmly. "I know it's hard to believe but he really did…and I think…he still feels responsible for what happened to her. Spike is a rash vampire, but he's also a passionate vampire. Put those two things together." Angel stopped there, and Giles frowned as the logic of the cursed vampire's argument sunk in.

"Yes…yes I think I understand you," the Watcher said as he stepped out of bed and began to get dressed. "Do you think he's on his way back to Sunnydale?"

"I'm almost positive. If you want me to come up there, I will."

"No, that's all right," Giles said, gratefully. "I think this is something that we should handle ourselves. In fact I'm sorry we didn't attempt to a few weeks ago. Thank you, Angel. I'll call you as soon as I learn more."

"Thanks," the vampire said. They said their good-byes and Giles quickly hung up the phone. He stood there for the moment and tried to decide the best course of action to take before grabbing his car keys and walking out the door of his apartment.

----

"Could we schedule these meetings a little earlier next time?" Xander yawned as he sat down next to Anya on the couch of the Summers living room. "Some of us have to go to work tomorrow and it's not healthy to be drowsy when using a nail gun."

"I'm sorry for the awkward timing Xander, but this is important," Giles said quietly, determined not to awaken Dawn. He had gone to Buffy's house to wake up Willow and Tara and from there called Xander and Anya to come over. The lover witches already knew the situation by now, and both of them looked determined to help in whatever way they could.

"What's going on?" Xander asked, curiously.

"Angel called me earlier tonight to tell me that he had met up with Spike in Los Angeles," and both Anya and Xander looked surprised. The young carpenter could never be accused of being a Spike or Angel fan, but he still felt surprisingly contented to hear this.

"Did Angel beat some sense into him and tell him to go home to those that appreciate him? That's what grandfathers do when their grankids run away sometimes," Anya said knowingly.

"Well they did do some bonding, though not in the most conventional sense of the world. It seems that the two of them were able to locate and destroy the demon that bled Dawn." The two Scoobies looked at Giles in amazement before turning toward one another, unsure of what to say.

"They killed Doc?" Xander asked.

"But I thought he was invulnearble," said Anya.

"Apparently Spike found a way to slay him permanently," Giles said, smiling a little.

"That's why he left Sunnydale, to go after Doc," Xander rationalized.

"And he's coming back now right? No more personal vendettas against the demon world?" Anya asked.

"Personal vendetta?" Xander asked his fiancee, curiously.

"That's what they call them in the James Bond movies."

"Guys, not to sound rude or anything but could you please shut up for a second and listen to Giles? This is serious," Willow said, and Xander looked toward his best friend, curiously.

"What's wrong?"

"Angel feels, and we all agree with his reasoning, that now that Spike has taken his revenge on Doc…he will try to put an end to his own life." Looks of confusion and shock came to the faces of the young couple, but Xander shook his head, skeptically.

"No…no this is Spike we're talking about. He loves being a vampire; drinking blood, raising hell, and all that other stuff. He might be a little depressed, but as soon as he comes back here he'll start slaying again and he'll be fine."

"Xander, you're wrong. Spike's not the same vampire he was a year ago. Did you see how crushed he was when Buffy died? He's not interested in raising hell. To him, hell is living without her and he's not strong enough to do that, or at least he thinks he isn't," Willow said. Xander thought back to the scene at the construction site and then even further to when the blonde vampire had first been implanted with the chip. His eyes widened as he realized that Spike had almost committed suicide once before, and the motivation then had not been half as strong as it was now.

"Okay so how do we stop him before he goes poof?" the carpenter asked, ready to help.

"Well first we have to find out where he is. Then after that we can track him down and…well…stop him," Willow said, unsure.

"We could put him in a straight jacket," Anya said. "Oh, and we should take away his shoes and his belt too."

"Better make that his stakes and any other pointy wooden objects he may be carrying," Xander said. "We've also got a few chains back at the Magic Box," and Tara was shocked to see Willow nod.

"If that's what it'll take then…."

"W-wait a second everyone. You want to chain him up l-like he's some kind of animal?" the blonde witch asked in disbelief.

"Well Tara he is on an emotional rollercoaster right now, he may become dangerous to himself or to us, even with the chip holding him back," Giles said.

"But that's not the answer. He'll never listen to us or trust us if we do that to him."

"Whatever we're going to do we'd better decide soon," the Watcher sighed. "He sould be returning from Los Angeles shortly."

"I say we go to his crypt, wait for him there, and try to talk him out of it. If he gets jumpy, we take him down and bring him here for some tough love," Xander said. "Ugh, I can't believe I just said the word love while talking about Spike." Willow looked toward Tara and instantly knew that her lover wanted to say something.

"Tara…what's your plan?"

"W-well I think…I think we should find out exactly what's going through his mind right now," the witch said, and though the others looked confused, Willow understood.

"Um, Giles you stay here with Dawn. Xander can we go to your apartment for a little spell casting?" Willow asked.

----

The four Scoobies sat in a circle around the small, glass orb, as Willow repeated the incantation for the last time.

"Is this really going to work, because if it does I want her to look into the mind of Bill Gates and find out his stock market tips," Anya whispered.

"Honey, now's not a good time," Xander whispered back, as Willow maintained her concentration.

"Every thought be ours to look upon," the witch said as she finished the spell. Willow and Tara stared into the orb and watched in fascination as it started to glow. "I think it's working," Willow whispered to Xander, though neither the carpenter nor his fiancée could see any of it. The witches stared at the orb as a montage of images and sounds suddenly started to flash before them. It was all over in less than a minute, but even in that brief amount of time, Willow and Tara managed to absorb everything they needed to know.

"He is going to kill himself. He's going to go to her grave before sunrise and then just stay there for when the sun comes out," Willow said, quietly. When she had seen and heard the vampire's thoughts and feelings in the crystal, it was as though she had truly seen him for the first time.

"Where is he now?" Xander asked, getting to his feet.

"His crypt. He's getting things ready." Xander was surprised to see Willow and Tara still sitting down, and he motioned towards the door.

"So let's go and stop him before he leaves and we have to tell Dawn that he's dead," Xander said as though the answer was obvious.

"He doesn't trust us. He doesn't think we care about him or understand his guilt," Willow explained, and Xander still didn't know what the hold up was.

"Willow, come on, we don't have that much time," Anya said, seriously.

"I've got an idea," Tara said, nervous but unfaltering. "I think I know what we have to do. But we have to wait until he's at the grave. He's too bent on killing himself now, he won't listen to us."

"What's your plan?" Xander asked, curiously.

"We have to remind him of his promise."

----

***

HEALING

It had been a long drive back from LA and he was dead tired and still sore from the wounds Doc had dealt him, but Spike walked toward the grave nonetheless, his step unaffected by his present condition. The reek of sewer water no longer clung to him as he had broken into the local Y to wash himself off; unwilling to sully his lover's grave with the foul stench. It had almost been a final baptism of sorts as he prepared himself for the inevitable death that he had eluded for so many years and through so many battles. He held a bouquet of flowers and note in his hand, his fingernails no longer covered in the black nail polish he so often used. It had all peeled off while fighting Doc but it was just as well. He walked right up to her tombstone, re-reading the beautiful inscription, and he immediately began to cry, barely conscious of the tears rolling down his cheeks. The vampire set the flowers down at the foot of the headstone and carefully placed the sealed envelope alongside them. He knew that either Willow or Giles would find it and give it to Dawn when they saw her. Spike had done his best to explain everything in the note, yet he knew it would be a hollow justification of his actions. Still, he had no desire to live in a world without Buffy Summers, the girl who had haunted him from the very day he had met her. As he stood back up, he started to speak, knowing that she could hear him somehow.

“It’s over now, pet. I took care of the guy responsible for all this. He’ll never be able to hurt Dawn or anyone else you love again.” He let a sad chuckle escape his throat as tears continued to flow down his face. “Funny, one of the last things I told you was I knew I’d go down fighting. Guess I was wrong. But…I’m ready now…” His voice cracked and Tara could see that he was breaking down. “I keep having this dream where I’m right there watching myself get thrown off that tower…and every single time I ask myself why. Why couldn’t I have hung on for just a few more seconds? Why couldn’t I have died instead of you? I hope you know that what I felt for you…it was all real. And…and all that crap I put you through…the robot, Drusilla…it was…it was because I didn’t know how to tell... Demons aren’t supposed to be able to love humans and…God…now it sounds like I’m making excuses. I guess what I’m trying to say is…is thank you. Thank you for making me feel alive.” With that, he stopped talking and sighed as he knelt down next to her grave so that he was facing east. Tara glanced at her watch and saw that it was close to 7:00. The sun would be rising soon and she was running out of time. She paused for a second and concentrated, then began walking toward the part of the cemetery where the vampire knelt. With the cloaking spell undone, Spike immediately heard her approaching and spun around, tensely jumping to his feet. His eyes widened in surprise at seeing her, but he immediately frowned and narrowed his brow.

“Get out of here,” he growled, but Tara kept walking forward, the slightest trace of fear in her face.

“I…I heard what you were saying…and I know why you’re here,” the witch said, quietly, and this only angered him further.

“And what, you’re here to play the hero, try to talk me out of it?” he spat. “Save your breath and get lost, a person deserves to die in peace.”

“Do you feel at peace, Spike?” she asked, interested. “What, you incinerated the demon that hurt Dawn and now you can die all calm, cool, and collected?”

“Shut up,” Spike growled, hurt by her comments. “And don’t call me that,” he added, appalled by the sound of his own name and the audacity she had to address him by it.

“Oh, I’m sorry, would you prefer William the Bloody?”

“I’d prefer it if you’d bugger off before I have to smash your nose in again,” the vampire shouted, infuriated. “Who the hell do you think you are coming here? You’ve never even exchanged two bloody sentences with me and you think you can just show up and act like you care whether or not I live or die? Leave me be.” Tara sighed.

“I can’t argue with you there. We’ve been a part of the same team for over a year now, and we’ve never interacted. I guess it’s because I’ve always been frightened of you. I’m not anymore,” she said, simply. “I remember everything that happened after Glory zapped me…including what you said to me in the Winnebago.” Spike recalled the consoling words he had offered to the panic-stricken girl when she had still been trapped in the state of madness Glory had inflicted upon her. Doing his best to avoid the grateful look in her eyes, he gave a quick cough and grunted a reply.

“I wasn’t doing it for you, I was doing it for Red. Having an insane girlfriend isn’t easy, I should know.” Tara gave a small smile, and nodded.

“Well, thanks just the same. But I think you’re still a little confused,” she said.

“No, witch, I’m not. I know what I’m doing and there’s nothing you can do or say that will stop me.”

“No, I mean about why I’m here. I’m not here to stop you.” Spike looked confused and the confusion in his face only multiplied as he watched her pull a small, razor-sharp dagger from out of her pocket.

“What the hell is that for?” he asked, and he tensed as he watched her bring the dagger down toward her wrist.

“Looks like we had the same idea.” Spike jumped to his feet and hastily walked over to where she stood, snatching the dagger out of her hand just before she could cut herself.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he shouted.

“What does it look like? If anyone should feel responsible for Buffy’s death it’s me, and I don’t think I can live with that guilt. Seeing Dawn everyday, knowing that if it hadn’t been for me, her sister would still be alive.” Spike stared at Tara as though she had lost her mind, convinced that she had suffered some kind of permanent brain damage from Glory’s mental attack. “Didn’t I just say that I can remember everything that happened while I was sick? That includes me telling Glory that Dawn was the Key.” The vampire suddenly realized what she had been talking about and it was though a bomb had been dropped. He had been so plagued by his own guilt that he had completely neglected the fact that the others were no doubt feeling equally accountable for his love’s death; Tara in particular. Spike had spent enough time around humans to know that it was in their nature to blame themselves for things that they had no control over, and Tara seemed to be living proof of this for the moment. There were now several tears running down her cheeks, but she continued to speak without sobbing. “She wouldn’t even have known to go after Dawn if I hadn’t been around. So you see, what happened to Buffy is all my fault and I can’t go on living with that knowledge. Now give me the knife.” Spike’s mouth hung open in shock with the sincerity in the girl’s voice but he still had the presence of mind to pull the weapon back before she could try and grab it from his hand.

“Hold on…” he started to say.

“Please Spike…Or maybe you could do it for me…nice and quick. The chip won’t go off because you don’t have the intention to hurt me, just to put me out of my misery.”

“Shut up and listen to me. You don’t want to do this.”

“Oh, so now you’re trying to convince me not to do it?” she asked.

“No, I’m telling you not to do it. Do you have any idea what that would do to Willow?” he asked, imagining the agony that the auburn-haired witch would be in with having lost both her best friend and her true love over a two week period. Spike had planned on killing himself with the knowledge that Giles, Willow, Xander, Anya and Tara would be around to look after Dawn, and now Tara was throwing this idea off completely. Before he could go on, she interrupted his thoughts.

“Since when do you care about Willow?”

“That’s beside the point,” he snapped, though he had to admit he had developed a certain fondness for Willow over the two years that they had been on the same side. “And what about Dawn? She needs a person like you around…or at least I thought she did. You always came off as pretty level-headed, but now I’m not so sure.”

“She’ll have Willow.”

“Yeah, and you’ll leave them both feeling as tortured as hell about what happened.”

“I told you, Spike. I don’t want to live with the….”

“What, you think that excuse you gave me warrants suicide? That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard! It’s not like you told her on purpose, you were off your rocker ‘cause of what the bitch had done to you. What happened to Buffy is in no way your fault,” the vampire snarled.

“How do you figure that?” Tara questioned.

“Because you were helpless! There was nothing you could have done.” Spike stopped after saying this and thought back on his own words, recalling everything he had said to Tara.

“Something wrong?” she asked, detecting the change in his behavior.

“What? Oh…no….”

“No, something is wrong. Think about what you just told me. Do you have any idea what it would do to Dawn if you killed yourself? Do you have any idea what you’re doing to her now by avoiding her and not even bothering to talk to her about what happened?” Spike lowered his head in shame as Tara continued speaking. “Every day she asks us “have you heard from Spike?” or “is Spike back yet?” and every day we have to watch her heart break when we say no.”

“I can’t face her…I failed her,” he said in a whisper.

“You charged up that tower while suffering from countless injuries to face a powerful demon and try to save a little girl.”

“But I couldn’t save her,” Spike sobbed in a loud voice, breaking down once more, and he dropped the knife as he buried his face in his hands.

“You did your best. That's all Buffy could ever have asked of you,” Tara said, soothingly.

“You…you didn’t come here to kill yourself,” he said, and she shook her head.

“No, I didn’t. But everything I told you about feeling guilty…that was all true. Every day since it’s happened, I wake up with the knowledge that Glory found out about Dawn because of me. But then, I look at Dawn, and I realize that Buffy did what she did to save her and the rest of us, to give us the greatest gift of all, life. We owe it to her to go on living, to go on helping Dawn grow up the way that Buffy wanted her to, to go on fighting for what she knew was right. You can be a part of that Spike. Dawn wants you to, and so do all of us,” she said, turning around. Spike stared curiously toward the area she was looking at and watched in shock as a bright flash suddenly flickered. The moment it dissolved, he saw Willow, Anya, and Xander all standing there. He instantly realized that they had been there the whole time, hidden by Willow’s magic, and the witch herself walked toward him, a few tears in her eyes. She stood next to Tara and clutched her hand, lovingly.

“Thanks Tara,” was all she could say, before turning to the vampire. “Please tell me that some of what she said got through to you, Spike.”

“This was a set-up?” the vampire asked, curiously.

“We prefer to think of it as group therapy,” Xander said, as he and Anya stepped forward as well. All four of them now stood in front of the bleached-blonde vampire, simply staring at him, waiting for him to say something. He lowered his head to try and escape their eyes but a concerned look suddenly came to his face as he looked up at them once more.

“Where’s Dawn? You didn’t leave her alone, did you?” he asked.

“No, Giles is with her,” Xander responded, coldly. “And it’s funny you should ask about her after the way you’ve treated her over the past two weeks.” Spike was taken aback by Xander’s comments as he would have expected the whelp to be thrilled at the idea of him keeping away from Dawn.

“We know that you’re grieving about what happened to Buffy. We all are,” Willow said, more gently than Xander. “But what you’re doing isn’t helping anyone; especially not you and Dawn.”

“I didn’t mean to hurt her!” the vampire shouted, angrily.

“But you did hurt her, Spike,” Anya said, sounding more serious than the vampire had ever heard her.

“Buffy didn’t want you to avenge her. She just wanted you to be there for her sister. Dawn needs all of us right now…including you, or have you already forgotten the promise you made?” Willow continued.

“I’m counting on you to protect her.”

“Till the end of the world.”

“I made a promise to a lady.” Spike stood there, bewildered. How could any of them have known about that? It had only been him and Buffy there when she had told him to protect Dawn.

“We had to use a telepathic spell to locate you…we saw a lot of what was going on in your mind…including the promise you made to Buffy,” Tara said. Normally Spike would have been infuriated with their prodding his thoughts, but he was completely drained at the moment, both emotionally and physically. He could barely register the fact that the sun was just beginning to rise, and Anya moved toward him, a folded blanket in her hands. He looked down at it as she handed it to him, and then back up at the group once more.

“If you want to go this way, that’s your choice,” Willow said, firmly. “But if you take the selfish and the easy way out of this, you’re going to have to die knowing that you really did fail; you failed to keep a promise to the person you loved.” She said loved without a second's hesitation as she now truly understood that what the vampire felt toward Buffy was pure, unadulterated love. It was then that Spike heard a voice go off in his head that he thought would have been banished from his memory by now.

“I’ll send the lady your regrets. Your regrets. Your regrets,” he heard Doc’s voice echoing. By now he could feel the slightest twinge from the growing intensity of sunlight, and he hastily looked around at the four of them: Willow, once shy and vulnerable, now powerful and benevolent, one of the noblest people he had ever known. Xander, the odd man out who had proven his worth a hundred times over but still did not recognize it himself. They would most likely never be friends but they could respect one another, and that was enough for now. Anya, charmingly aggravating, once disconnected from the world because of her demonic beginnings, now truly understanding of what it meant to be human. Tara, whom he had never really known until tonight. It had been her idea to try and save him in this way. Someday he would thank her for it. He looked down at the blanket and then without a moment’s hesitation threw it over his head, shielding himself from the rising sun.

“Right then. Let’s get going before I end up like Doc.” Willow breathed a sigh of relief, and smiles appeared on the faces of all the Scoobies including Xander. They all began walking toward the car, when Spike suddenly turned around and grabbed the note he had left at the tombstone, sticking it in the pocket of his duster.

"What is that?" Willow asked, curiously.

"Just a little note I had left for the Nibblet to find," Spike said quietly, ashamed of the distress he had put Dawn through. "So tell me the truth, were you really going to let me burn up if I chose to go that way?"

"No, we had a B plan," Xander said.

"We were going to tackle you, chain you up, and then let Giles beat some sense into you back at his apartment," Anya said, honestly.

"Good plan," Spike nodded, smirking a little, taking a moment to realize how much these people obviously cared about Dawn. As he stepped into the car, sitting next to Willow, he took a quick look back at the grave and let a few final tears fall from his blue eyes.

"You okay?" the red-haired witch asked.

"Not yet, but I think I'm starting to get there," he sighed, quietly, and Willow understood what he meant. She gave his hand a quick squeeze, surprising him with her touch, and he suddenly took in the fact that perhaps it was not simply out of love for Dawn that they had come to save him.

"I'm glad that you're back," Willow said, as though she were reading his thoughts, and Spike's suspicions were confirmed as Xander started the car.

"Yeah…me too," the vampire said, feeling at peace for what seemed like the first time in ages.

----

***

EPILOGUE

Spike ran through the door to the Summers home quickly, just before the blanket that shielded him from the sunlight could set afire. Giles quickly shut the door behind him, a small fire extinguisher in his hands just in case. Seeing that it was all right, the Watcher set the canister aside.

"Hello Spike," Giles said, affably, as though the blonde vampire had simply walked into the house.

"Giles," Spike nodded, taking a moment to look around the house and recall the last few moments he had spent with Buffy there before the battle against Glory. He could still detect her scent in the air, and though it once would have brought carnal thoughts to his mind, it now only reminded him of the wonderful young woman he had fallen in love with and the promise he had made to her.

"I was hoping that they would talk some sense into you," Giles said, as he smiled at Tara, Willow, Xander, and Anya.

"I was under the impression you wanted to beat it into me," Spike replied.

"Ah yes, Plan B," Giles said, taking a moment to glare at Anya who smiled sheepishly.

"So how'd you end up beating that Doc guy?" Xander asked, curiously, "'cause when I killed him it wasn't very permanent."

"Let's just say it involved me, Angel, and a gallon of gasoline," Spike smirked, but he grew serious as he thought back to Angel's words regarding Dawn. "My grandfather told me the Nibblet wasn't exactly thrilled to see him."

"She was just upset about everything," Willow said, sympathetically. "She said he should have been there for Buffy."

"Just like I should have been here for her," Spike thought to himself. His obsession with Doc had caused him to ignore his duty to the young teenager, and he hated himself for that.

"Is she still asleep?" Willow asked, and the Watcher nodded, before noticing how nervous the vampire looked. "Spike are you all right?"

"What…yeah, sure," he said, reaching into his pocket for a cigarette before realizing that he had run out. He also remembered that he was in Buffy's home and had absolutely no desire to stink-up the place with the smoke. The vampire looked back up at Giles and asked "How's she been doing?"

"Um…not well, but I suspect your being back will help…." Giles grew silent as he looked toward the staircase. Dawn stood pale as a sheet on the middle step, her eyes locked on Spike. He stared back at her, unable to speak, and Xander did his best to break the uncomfortable silence that had consumed the entire group.

"Hey Dawn, look who we found," the young carpenter smiled, but he watched in surprise as the girl turned around and ran back upstairs, slamming her bedroom door behind her. For a long moment nobody said anything, as Willow watched a distraught look come to Spike's face.

"That's not the way it happens in the movies," Anya said, quietly.

"Um, I c-can go talk to her," Tara said, walking toward the steps, but Spike gently put a hand on her shoulder and shook his head.

"No, it's okay. I'll go." Tara nodded toward him, encouragingly, and he slowly walked over to the staircase and made his way up the steps. He saw that her door was closed and knocked on it gently.

"Come in," he heard a teary voice call from inside the room. He sighed and lowered his head for a moment before entering the girl's room. Dawn sat curled up on her bed, her knees tucked up toward her chest, and she slowly turned her head toward him, tears in her eyes. She looked older than he remembered, much more mature, but he could see the helpless little girl inside of her more clearly than ever at that very moment. Spike could barely look at her without bursting into tears himself but managed to remain strong as he took a step toward the bed.

"Hey Nibblet," he said, quietly.

"Hey," she said, just as softly as he sat down next to her. Silence followed, and it was a good minute before Dawn broke it. "I'm mad at you."

"Yeah, I kind of got that vibe," the vampire said, trying to smile at her. She didn't return the grin and Spike sighed once again.

"You left without even saying when you'd be back…without even saying goodbye."

"I didn't want you to know where I was going. I didn't want to frighten you."

"Frighten me? Spike, I was frightened. I thought I'd never see you again. And even before you left, you barely said a word to me. I thought you cared about me." Spike felt his heart break as he listened to her words, and it was as though Dawn was reliving the tearful confrontation she had had with Buffy after their mother had died.

"Dawn…"

"No, you listen. I know you loved Buffy and I know you miss her, so do the rest of us. We're supposed to take care of each other now, and help each other. And you…you just…left. How could you do that to me?" He could offer her no answer as she stared at him. "I missed you so much," she said, tearfully. "I need you and everyone else right now." Spike allowed the tears to run down his own face as he truly realized that Giles and the Scoobies were Dawn's only family now. Tara had told him that he was to be a part of the family, and he wasn't sure that he could. Before he could say anything, Dawn threw her arms around him and hugged him close. The vampire gently rubbed her back as he embraced her, allowing her to cry into his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," he said in a whisper. "I'm so sorry. I was scared. I didn't know how I could face you after what I did."

"You didn't do anything to me," Dawn wept. "You tried so hard to save me. And then when he was going to throw you off the tower…I thought I was going to lose you." Spike's eyes opened in disbelief as he felt overwhelmed by her words. He thought back to the look she had given him just before Doc had knocked him off of the scaffolding and he finally understood. She had not been afraid for herself, nor had she been engrossed in his failure. She had been frightened for him. Even in that moment of terror, she had not been concerned with the danger she was in, but in the fact that he might have died. No one had ever cared about him so deeply and the vampire clutched her more tightly than before as he broke down further.

"I love you Spike," she said in a whisper that he could only hear through his enhanced senses.

"And I love you, Nibblet," he answered her, wishing that he could hold her forever. He could not exactly recall when he had first realized how much he loved Dawn, but he knew that his connection with the girl was just as strong as the love he had felt for Buffy. In Spike's arms, the teenager felt truly safe for what seemed like the first time in ages, but she pulled back after a few moments and looked at him seriously, trying to wipe away some of her tears.

"Promise me you'll never do that again." Spike stared at her, seeing the resolve and longing in her face, and it only took him a second to respond.

"I promise," he said, and for a moment he saw Buffy standing in front of him, asking him to make a similar pledge. "I made your sister a promise too, sweet bit. I promised her I'd protect you 'til the end of the world," he said. "And now I'm going to make good on my part of the contract. I'm going to take care of you."

"We're going to take care of each other," she said, managing to smile at him, and he returned the gesture.

"Deal," he said, as he wiped some final tears out of his eyes. "God, now when we go downstairs Harris is going to see that I've been crying like a nancy-boy."

"If it makes you feel better, he cried a lot too," Dawn said, a slight smile on her face.

"Well, maybe we've got more in common than I thought," the vampire said as he got up from her bed. They walked downstairs together to find Giles and the others sitting in the living room, pensively. The entire group looked up at them as they arrived and smiles slowly came to all of their faces.

"So what's it take to get some breakfast around here, Rupert?" Spike asked, good-naturedly. "You going to let this poor kid starve?"

"Certainly not," Giles replied as he walked over to the kitchen, trying to hide his joy at seeing the newfound happiness in Dawn's countenance.

"What'd I tell you, Dawnster? Didn't I say that he'd be back soon?" Xander asked her, happily.

"Yeah, but he hasn't made an idle threats against your life yet," the teenager smiled.

"Oh don't worry, those will start up soon enough," Xander responded.

"Yeah, probably," Spike responded, smirking. "You're all right, Harris," he said as he extended his hand out. Xander seemed genuinely surprised and reached out to shake it, but the vampire pulled his arm back at the last second and ran his hand through his bleached-blonde hair instead. Dawn and Anya both began laughing at Xander's blunder, while Willow and Tara smiled to one another, immediately noticing that it was the first time Dawn had laughed in weeks. As the vampire and carpenter began to exchange jibes, Willow gave Tara a quick kiss. Her lover smiled at her but looked curious.

"What was that for?" Tara asked.

"You gave him the strength to keep on going," the auburn-haired witch smiled, but Tara shook her head.

"No, he had it the whole time. He just didn't know it," she replied, smiling.

"I think we finally solved our Dawn dilemma," Willow sighed, happily. "I mean, I know it'll take more time but…"

"We'll just keep taking things one day at a time," Tara completed the thought for her. As the two witches walked over to go and help Giles, Spike looked around and realized that this place felt more like home than any of the hundreds of locations he had seen over the course of his long existence. He wondered if Tara and Willow would mind him moving into the basement and decided to talk to them about it later, as he looked at a picture on the wall of Dawn, Joyce, and Buffy; the Summers women, the first people to treat him like a human being since his siring. Two of them were gone now, though he would always hold a sacred place for them in his heart, and the last was in his care. He looked from the picture over to the real Dawn who was laughing with Xander and felt a certain warmth overcome him.

"My lil' sister," he thought to himself as he looked at her, and he turned toward the picture once more. "I'll look after her for you, Joyce…and you look after Buffy for me." A final tear ran down his face which he quickly wiped away as he walked over to go and help Willow and Tara set the table.

The End