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Hilary
Buffy is sitting on the couch, reading a magazine rather aggressively.
She turns each page with a quick, loud snap while her leg bounces
anxiously up and down. She seems to be annoyed by the only other sound
in
the room, which is Spike's heavy, labored breathing. When she looks up
at him, we see that Spike isn't doing anything more strenuous than
sitting in a chair.
Buffy: You're concentrating too hard again. Stop thinking about your
breathing and just do it.
Spike: I can't. It's strange. I hate it. Stupid earthquake.
Buffy: Do you think you might take a break from the whining at some
point today?
Spike: I don't know. Maybe I'll give it a try after my fifteenth trip
to the bloody bathroom!
Buffy: Here we go.
Spike: Do you know how awful it feels to be human?
Buffy: Uh...
Spike: It's horrid! It's torturous!
Buffy: Oh my GOD, will you just get used to it already! It's been two
days and it doesn't look like there's any end in sight. So, do us both
a favor and just EMBRACE the humanity.
Spike: Oh, you mean follow the great example you're setting? Because
I
can see that you're just sailing through this with flying colors.
Buffy: Hey, it's not the same for me. I'm sitting here like a lump
when the rest of the gang is off fighting demons... or crazed
super-humans... or whatever... the bad guys! It's not fair. I used to
take them
patrolling with me. I don't see why I can't go along with them.
Spike: Oh, boo hoo. Little Miss Everything feels inadequate. That's a
real shame, Slayer, but it hardly compares to the fact that my entire
bloody world has just turned upside-down! (Spike puts a hand to his
throat as if to check it) I'm going to die.
Buffy: Uch, will you stop being such a drama queen?
Spike: No, I mean, I'm really gonna die.
For the first time since she's known him, Buffy sees real fear on
Spike's face. She swallows her insult.
Buffy: Well... yeah, we're all gonna die, Spike. But not for a long
time, we hope.
Spike: That's just it. We hope. But that's all we can do. We have no
control. It could happen at any time. Without warning or preamble. I
could die in the next few hours, you don't know. I could have a brain
aneurysm or get some kind of hideous disease that drags out over a
number of months. Human bodies are disgusting. And they deteriorate!
Buffy: Spike, you're not going to have an aneurysm. You're young,
healthy and in perfect shape. All you have to do is give up smoking,
and...
Spike: Give up smoking? You must be daft! That's the only thing I
have left.
Buffy: Of what? Your cool, bad boy image? Please, you are so beyond
that now.
Suddenly, fear is replaced with curiosity.
Spike: Now, what the hell is that supposed to mean?
Buffy: (whoops) I don't know. You're just... you seem different now.
Spike: I don't understand you. Not seventy-two hours ago you accused
me of being back in town with some sinister plan to stamp out you and
yours. Now suddenly I'm not so evil anymore? When did that happen?
There is a pause while Spike studies Buffy's face. Buffy does not meet
his eyes. Spike gets it.
Spike: You're racist.
Buffy: WHAT?
Spike: I'm not different. What your saying is that I'm human now.
This is so typical. I was exactly the same as a vampire, but now that
I'm
human it's okay for you to love me.
Buffy: Excuse me? Did we skip a chapter? Who's talking about love?
Spike: Oh, knock it off, Slayer. No one's around to be impressed. You
know and I know what... we know.
Buffy: (shaky) I have no idea what you're talking about. I think all
the breathing is making you light headed.
Spike watches her for a minute and Buffy can't handle the pressure. Her
eyes drop to the floor. Spike smiles as he slips out of his chair and
crawls over to her. He kneels on the floor next to her, runs his hand
over her knees and rests it on her hip. She jumps slightly, but makes
no attempt to move away. Slowly, he rises on his knees, bringing his
face so close to hers that they can feel each other's breath. But Buffy
is now the one breathing heavily. When their lips are a centimeter
apart, Spike says:
Spike: See, I told you. You would never let me kiss you if I were
still a vampire.
Buffy blinks a few times, in shock, then comes the fury and she pushes
Spike away as hard as she can without her Slayer strength.
Buffy: UGH!
Spike sits back on his legs, giggling.
Buffy: (hurt) I was not going to let you kiss me! I was waiting for
you to get close enough so I could punch you. But then I remembered I
was all ordinary now and I would probably hurt my hand and your not even
worth the effort anyway.
Buffy is flushed and babbling. The fact that Spike is now watching her
with open desire is not helping her think any more clearly.
Buffy: And I was so wrong. Being human certainly has not cured you of
being a complete jerk-off. Stop looking at me like that!
Spike has something to say. As he opens his mouth to speak, they hear
a noise and turn to see Dawn bounding down the stairs, carrying a
knapsack and pulling on her coat.
Dawn: Going over to Anya's to stay for a few.
Buffy is a little dazed, as if she forgot Dawn was even in the house.
She shifts her eyes nervously to Spike and back.
Buffy: What? Why?
Dawn: Look, I love you both. But being cooped up in a house with the
two of you while you work out this thing between you... it's a little
too much for my fifteen year-old brain to deal with. I'm the one that's
supposed to be full of insecurities and behaving immaturely, but you
two are throwing me off my game. So, I have to get out of here for a
while. You guys should be alone anyway. For when the dam breaks.
Buffy: (shocked) DAWN!!
Spike clears his throat and pretends he hasn't heard the last part.
Spike: Who's taking you to Anya's? You know it's not safe.
Dawn: Xander's gonna take me. He thinks I'll be good company for Anya.
We can commiserate over the fact that we both got jipped on getting
powers 'cause of that minor technicality that we're both slightly other
than human.
Buffy: Dawn, you don't have to leave. Spike can go.
She turns to Spike.
Buffy: Get out!
Spike looks amused.
Dawn: Where's he supposed to go, Buffy? He can't live in his crypt.
Buffy: I don't care. What am I, his mother?
Spike: (mock earnestness) Mommy?
Dawn: (to Spike) Stop it. You're making it worse.
Spike: She's the one--
Buffy: No he--
Dawn: Hey, SHUT UP! Both of you! Jeez, you guys are incredible!
A car horn sounds from outside.
Dawn: That's Xander. Listen, I don't know what to tell you guys,
just... try to be honest with each other.
And Dawn is gone.
And there is silence in the room for what seems like hours. It's the
kind of silence that speaks volumes and neither Buffy nor Spike are
ready to listen to what it's saying.
Finally, Buffy breaks the silence and changes the subject in one fell
swoop.
Buffy: I'm gonna make dinner.
Spike: I'm not hungry.
Buffy: You'll be hungry when I'm finished making it.
She gets up and goes to the kitchen. Spike follows her.
Spike: Can't we order a pizza?
Buffy: I can make a pizza.
Spike: I don't want some old house pizza. I want a real pizza, that
comes in a big, greasy, cardboard box.
Buffy: You know half the city is shut down anyway and why would we
order something when I'm perfectly capable of making it on my own?
Spike: Because it's gonna take you forever to make it.
Buffy: I thought you weren't hungry.
Spike: Well now that we're talking about pizza I'm hungry for one.
Buffy: Then I'm making one.
Buffy starts pulling stuff off of shelves and getting ready for
cooking.
Spike: Why do you have to be so bloody stubborn? This is totally
unnecessary!
Buffy: No it's not! We need to eat! I can make food. That's what I
can do and I'm doing it!
Spike: You just have to be in charge of something, don't you? Fine...
you can be the grand high poobah of dinner and I'll just wait here and
starve until you've made you're little point.
Buffy is trying to open a jar of sauce and having a hard time of it.
Buffy: You said... (grunt)...you weren't even... (grunt) hungry.
Spike: Well I changed my mind!
Distracted by her actions, Spike grabs the jar from Buffy and twists
it
open easily so that the lid makes a popping sound. When he moves to
hand it back to her, Buffy's eyes go wide and she takes a step back,
pointing at the jar.
Buffy: Oh, no! What the hell is that supposed to be?
Spike: (completely confused) Huh?
Buffy: Who do you think you are, opening jars for me? You don't open
jars for me! Who are you, some big tough guy now? Opening jars for the
poor little lady in the kitchen who can't... open her own jars!
Spike: Buffy, calm down, it's just...
Buffy: Don't you dare tell me to calm down! I do not need your help!
Spike: (worried) Okay.
Buffy: I don't! I can do everything for myself. And I could even
patrol with those guys if they would just let me. Maybe I don't have the
strength, but I still have the moves! And I wouldn't forget my
limitations and get hurt like Giles said because I am perfectly WELL AWARE
of my
limitations. And I know I could've opened that jar in a minute if you
hadn't taken it from me just to show off.
Spike: I--
BuffY: You're not stronger than me, so just don't even get any ideas
about that.
There is a brief pause while Spike takes this in.
Spike: You're really losing it aren't you?
Buffy slams her hand down on the counter.
Buffy: I AM NOT LOSING IT!!!
Buffy whimpers and draws her hand back to cradle it. She hit it too
hard. She turns away from Spike and begins to cry softly. For a moment
Spike stands there, unsure of what to do. When he hears her crying, he
tentatively moves to help her.
Spike: Hey... Slayer?
Buffy spins and whacks him in the chest.
Buffy: Stop calling me that! That's not who I am.
Spike turns Buffy to face him and holds her by the arms. She does not
try to pull away.
Spike: It's who you are to me.
Buffy: Well, you've always been pretty stupid. It may take a while,
but sooner or later you'll realize that I'm nobody special anymore.
Spike: (smiling) I never said you were anyone special. I just said you
were the Slayer.
Buffy almost laughs.
Buffy: (half-hearted) I hate you.
Spike: No you don't.
Buffy pouts and stomps like a child having a tantrum.
Buffy: But, how do you know that?
Spike: Because I know you better than anyone.
Spike pulls Buffy closer to him. She pretends not to notice and looks
at his shoulder, rather than his face.
Buffy: That's not true.
Spike: Who knows you better than I do?
Buffy: Willow, Xander, Giles, Angel, the mailman, my third grade
science teacher--
Spike: They know what you let them know. But I know the things you
won't even admit to yourself.
Buffy gets up the courage to look into Spike's eyes and actually
manages to appear cocky.
Buffy: Well, if you're so big with the mind-reading, then tell me what
I'm thinking right now.
Spike holds her gaze for a moment, studying her. Buffy almost looks
away from the intensity of it, but before she can, Spike presses his
mouth over hers. She does not even try to resist him. The second their
lips touch, she simply sags against his firm body and gives herself up
to
the feeling of his kiss. It is like nothing she has ever felt before
in her life. Strong, pure, erotic and full of a love she didn't believe
existed.
After a little while, Spike pulls away, still holding Buffy as her eyes
flutter open to meet his. The first thing she notices is that Spike
seems to have lost a little of his trademark confidence. He looks
shaken, and is obviously nervous about what she's going to say to him.
The
humming in her ears and the tingling all over her body make it difficult
for her to say anything, but she manages.
Buffy: Okay, so you know me. Let's order a pizza.
At first, Spike is thrown. He didn't know what to expect, but it
certainly wasn't that. Then he sees that she is smiling at him, and her
eyes are shining. It is the first time since before he can remember that
he has ever felt actual hope.
Spike: I'm not hungry.
Buffy: Yeah, me neither.
They both stand there grinning at each other for a few seconds, before
bursting out laughing. The pent up tension that has been building
between them since the day they met is draining away, and in it's place
is
giddy relief. Spike pulls Buffy to him and throws his arms around her,
rocking her back and forth. Buffy squeezes back and buries her face in
his neck. Spike closes his eyes and enjoys the feeling of her in his
arms. It is quite possible that this is the happiest either of them has
ever been.
BOOM!!
There is a crash in the living room.
Giles: Tara! For God's sake!
Willow: Giles, don't yell at her, she didn't mean to.
When they hear the voices, Buffy and Spike instinctively jump away from
each other and then take a minute to notice that they both had the same
idea. It almost makes them start laughing again. They hide their
smiles and go to investigate.
As they enter the living room, Tara is just putting the front door back
on it's hinges.
Willow: (embarrassed) Sorry... she only meant to knock. She's having
a
little trouble with the whole super-strength aspect.
Tara: I'm such a spaz. I'm so sorry, Buffy.
Buffy: No, don't worry about it. I'll fix it. Um...
She tries a little too hard to not notice Spike standing next to her.
Buffy: What's going on? What are you guys doing here?
Willow: Sustenance.
Giles: Yes, we were wondering if you'd be interested in... em...
hosting dinner tonight. I'd like to hold a meeting to keep us all up to
speed on what's happening, so we should get Xander and Anya over here
as
well.
Spike's smile fades.
Buffy: (disappointed) Sure. Absolutely. Not like I had any big plans
or anything. Spike and I have just been bored out of our minds. If we
had our powers back we'd probably have killed each other by now, right
Spike?
She makes big eyes at Spike, urging him to play along.
He pauses to make her suffer and then:
Spike: Yeah.
Buffy looks at him angrily.
Spike: So do you have any tools, Slayer? I can fix that door if you
want. I've been known to tighten a hinge in my day.
As he walks past Buffy to go see about the door, he whispers to her:
Spike: Less is more.
Willow: Buffy, are you sure it's okay we're here? Giles thought you'd
like to be included.
Willow gets a look from Tara.
Willow: I mean, not that you're not still a part of the team or
anything, I... have to stop talking now.
Buffy realizes that she is not bothered by what Willow is saying.
She's too interested in watching how calm and collected Spike is being.
How handsome he is and how much she enjoys the fact that they're sharing
a secret. She smiles softly at Willow.
Buffy: Will. It's okay. What do you feel like eating?
Willow: Anything, I'm famished.
Spike: (standing by the door) Pizza?
Willow: Mmmm, perfect!
Buffy has to look away to fight the laughter. Giles notices this.
Giles: Where's Dawn?
Buffy: Xander's place. She... she uh...
Spike: ...needed a change of scenery. And Anya was lonely.
Giles: So, you two have been... alone all day?
Buffy: Not all day.
Giles: For how long?
Spike: Giles? What ARE you suggesting?
Buffy: Whatever it is... eew!
Spike: (to Buffy) Hey! I have feelings you know!
Buffy: Yeah, I care.
Giles breathes a sigh of relief. It appears nothing has changed.
Giles: I only ask because I'd like Dawn to be a part of this meeting
as
well. Tara, can you make the call and get them over here?
Tara: Sure.
Willow: I'm gonna go raid the fridge for appetizers.
Tara goes to the phone, Giles and Willow head for the kitchen. Buffy
turns to Spike.
Buffy: If you're really gonna fix that door, the tools are in the
closet. Dinner will be ready in half an hour so you'd better hurry up.
I'm
not keeping it warm.
Spike: I'm doing this as a favor to you, you ungrateful bint!
Buffy: So what do you want? To be knighted? Fix it, don't fix it, I
don't give a rat's.
Buffy has to cover her mouth to hide her laughter.
Spike: Irritating bloody woman!
Spike winks at her and it's all Buffy can do not to run to him and pull
him into another kiss. She sighs longingly instead, and kisses the air
in his direction. Spike falls back against the door, holding his chest
in an exaggerated gesture. This delights Buffy and she bounces up and
down, laughing silently.
Willow: (from the kitchen) Buffy?
Tara, who is talking to Anya on the phone, turns around to see Buffy
and Spike smiling happily at each other before Buffy waves good-bye and
heads into kitchen. When Buffy is gone Spike watches the place where
she was, grinning and lost in thought. After a minute, he sighs, runs
a
hand through his hair, then turns and gets to work on the door.
Anya: (through the phone) Tara? Are you still there?
Tara jumps and quickly turns around, knowing that she just witnessed
something she wasn't supposed to.
Tara: (quietly) Uh... yeah.