Presence

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  Title: Presence
Author: Catrina
Spoilers: Anything through the gift.
Pairing: B/S
Rating: PG-13, maybe.
Summary: Buffy’s spirit is still around after her death and realizes something that was right in front of her the whole time.
Archive:Death-Marked Love, but if you want it on another site, just email me at (fadingstar_09@lycos.com).
Disclaimers: They are not mine, they belong to Joss and Mutant Enemy. I only steal them to wreak havoc on their lives.
Feedback: Pretty please let me know if you like it.

Now on to the story.

~~*~~*~~*~~
It hurt all around him, all through him as he gazed upon her lifeless body. His fault, this was his entire fault. He felt the tears, tears
that he hadn’t cried in so long well up and flow from his eyes. He huddled away form the rising sun and sunk lower, let a sob escape from his bruised and battered body. He had failed Buffy when she had needed him most and now the person who he had come to love in such a short time was gone. Never to be seen alive again, by his eye or any other. He felt someone tug on his arm bringing his face up he looked to see Red, crying with him.

“You have to go Spike,” she whispered, “ The sun is almost up.”

Willow looked into the blue eyes of a lost man. This wasn’t Spike, this was no one. This person was hollow.

Dawn came rushing down looking for anything any sign of her sister. Her eyes fell on the prone body a few feet away as she fell to the ground weeping.

“Buffy, no, you didn’t have to, no. Oh god no.”

More and more tears came to the group, weeping for the one that they all loved and lost. Spike felt the sun growing more and more insistent, burning the back of his neck until someone wrapped a blanket around him, good old Red, she never forgot about him. He crawled out toward Buffy looking at her peaceful countenance almost as though she slept. He brushed the tendrils away from her face and vowed from this day forward that he would live by his failure today and never let Dawn out of his sight.

~~*~~*~~*~~

Buffy was around them looking at them as they cried. She looked form Dawn who had finally given up and was now in the protective arms of her watcher. Anya as she cried quietly against Xander’s chest, but Spike. Spike was scaring her. The sun was almost completely risen and he was still there. The tears falling down his face in a steady stream. She could sense his pain and his guilt.

“Spike, it’s not your fault.”

Then laughed knowing that he couldn’t hear her. She saw Willow wrap the blanket around him, then saying something about going to LA. She then saw Spike go to her and lift up her prone body while burning his hands. She followed them as they followed Spike into the nearest building.

“I have to stay here.” He said quietly.

She saw than Dawn was up walking on her own again and Spike handed her body the Giles.

“Take care of her, I can’t.”

The others headed out but she stayed while Dawn hung around to talk to Spike.

“You know that she didn’t love you like that.” Dawn said softly. Crying at her pain and Spike’s.

“She could never hav loved me like that, nibblet.”

Buffy grimaced at the sad painful note in his voice.

“Doesn’t matter though. I can’t stop loving her now. I will always be around for ya kid. I’m stayin’ here in Sunnyhell, for you and for her.”

“Thanks Spike.” She went to leave and after she shut the door Buffy moved to follow. Then she turned in surprise.

“I can feel you Buffy, I know you‘re here. So tell me one thing. Could you have ever loved me as much as I loved you?"

She didn’t know how to answer him or what to say for that matter.

“That’s what I thought.”

She watched as he fell to the ground and cried himself to sleep. Maybe throwing herself into the portal hadn’t been such a good idea.

~~*~~*~~*~~

Next she watched Dawn. She just sat and cried and cried and cried. Nothing would bring her out. She moved around more and more of an empty shell. The same was true with everything and everyone. But time kept moving on and on.

~~*~~*~~*~~

The new slayer had yet to show so the ‘Scoobies’ helped do what they could, but the would be dead countless times without Spike. He had been protecting everyone dear to her and she knew it was because of that. He had moved into the house with Dawn becoming her guardian and letting her cry on his shoulder He was keeping his promise to her very well. He was protecting her memory with his life, but at what cost. The others had all started to heal all but him. He was the only one who could feel her as she watched them and the only one who still cried at night. She fell in love with him after she died. His devotion to her and what
was hers was so strong and true that she knew he loved her more that anything in the world. How could she have not seen it and not accepted it. Something this pure, even though it cam from a vampire. She had been so blind and so foolish. And now only in death could she see it. What she wouldn’t do to go back in time and do it over get up there a little faster and save herself. Now that she didn’t have it, she missed life so much, was it really that bad? She thought to herself as she watched Dawn sleep. Not really. She jumped when she saw Spike come in the room. He leaned down kissed Dawn’s forehead, quietly whispering goodnight. Tears rolled down her cheeks, she wanted it all back, but how.

~~*~~*~~*~~

Spike looked over as Willow walked into the house.

“Spike, we need to talk.” She looked so serious. The way her eyes looked into his. She had a purpose. “I’m worried about you. It has been almost a month now since, well, um, you know.” When he nodded she breathed a sigh, it was still so hard to say. “Well Spike, you need to move on.”

“Can’t, Red.”

“Well why not Spike? We all loved her, we all miss her. Without her everything is so empty, without a purpose. All of us are lost Spike, but you, you are totally gone from us.” She said almost in tears herself.

“I feel her, Red. She never left.” He told her bluntly. “Her spirit is still here. I can sense it.”

“Spike…”

“Before you say anything remember that I am dead. I have a knack for dead things.”

“You mean her spirit is here. On our astro-plane?”

“Yes.”

Willow looked, as she was thinking hard. “I think that there may be way to bring her back.”

“NO, Willow. Don’t try to bring back the dead. She left of her own free will. She wanted to die.” Willow nodded and left. Her mind was still full of thoughts.

~~*~~*~~*~~

Spike sat on a hill about a block from Buffy’s, no it was his house now. He watched the first little lights of the sun rising over the hill. What would it be like? He wondered. The sun would do the one thing that no slayer had ever accomplished. Kill him. He sat watching the dark sky turn a little shade of red and smiled.

~~*~~*~~*~~

When Willow had first talked about bringing her back, she had smiled. Good old Willow. She would come up with a way. But Spike words had been true. She had been more that willing to stay dead, until she realized that watching wasn’t enough, not for her. She needed to be there. With her family friends, and Spike. She watched him. Guarded him and now watching the first lights of dawn, she was scared for him. She walked, was it really walking, she wasn’t sure, but she moved over to him and placed her arms around his neck form behind. To her she was holding him.

“Don’t leave yet.” She whispered. She saw him tense. Saw him look around trying to find her.

“Buffy?”

“Yes, it’s me. Don’t leave yet. I need you to look after Dawn until I can get back.”

“Back?” He whispered.

“Yes, I want to came back. To my family, my friends, and you.”

“Please, don’t let the sun destroy you. That’s my job. Please go home.”

“Anything for you.” He told her and she followed him back to her house and watched him wake Dawn for school, then get her breakfast and kiss her forehead on the way out. He had been so good for her. Helping her, and getting her to go on with her life. He was the only one who hadn’t yet. She watched him as he slept, so peaceful and thought. IF she hadreached Spike could she reach Willow?

~~*~~*~~*~~

Willow opened the door to Buffy’s house for some weird reason, she was drawn here. She looked to the couch where not to long ago they had been talking about Spike’s feelings for her. She went and sat down, and then she felt it. She felt her. A chill grabbed her hands and she was being pulled forward. She looked back to see herself sitting there and Buffy was holding her hands. She instantly knew what had happened. Buffy had pulled her to another plane so that she could see her.

“Buffy.” She said smiling. “So Spike was right?”

“Yeah, go figure one there. Will, I want you to bring me back.”

“But Spike said…”

“I talked to Spike already, had to. He was going to watch the ol’ sun rise.”

“Why do the ones in Sunnydale always try that?” Willow asked with a smile.

“I have no idea. But can you bring me back Will?”

“Well while my parents were in Japan they got me this really cool Japanese spell book. I started to translate it soon after. It seems that they Japanese were will into bring back the dead and eternal life all that good stuff…but I think that I found a spell that could work in your case. Only thing thought is that the people who do the spell and are part of the spell become immortal, bonded by the energy that is used. I mean you can die. But only the head thing has to be done, you know cut off the head and the rest shall die, kind-of-thing. That would make both you and me immortal.” Willow looked at Buffy and instantly knew
what she was thinking. “…But think now we CAN be best Friends forever.”

“Will you, Wills? It is so much to ask, I know?”

“I was going to do it anyway, I knew that I would right after Spike told me that he could feel you.”

“Yeah, I way didn’t expect that. I was just going to watch… but then,” she looked down. “Ifellinlove.”

“What?” Willow asked amazed.

“I fell in love with Spike.” She said looking into Willow’s eyes expecting disappointment and disgust, but saw only joy.

“Buffy, that is great. He loves you sooooo much. Trust me I see it in everything that he does.” She said giving her a hug. “Now that we got this settled, can I have my body back?” Buffy laughed and smiled.

“Sure.” Then Willow was back, looking around and smiling. “I’ll do it tonight Buffy.” She said out loud knowing that her best friend could hear her and was smiling.

~~*~~*~~*~~

“Willow, what are you doing here?” Dawn asked as she opened the door.

“Hey, Dawny.” She said giving her a hug. “Thus is going to sound really weird, but I talked to Buffy and she is coming back tonight, well with my help.” She said giving dawn a wink.

“Really, that is soo cool. Can I help?”

“No way. By the way, where is Spike.”

“He went out for blood.” She said making a gagging sound.

“Well then I will surprise him when he gets back then. Buffy?” Right then the both felt a cold draft bush over their arms. “That would be her.” Willow said. She gave Dawn another hug. “I will see you in a few. Hopefully plus one, too.” She said with a little giggle. She set up the spell with ease and started to chant not long now, she thought, not long at all.

She sensed when Spike entered the house, but she continued. It was a long spell that had so far taken a half-hour, and was still only half done. She just hoped Spike would not interrupt her trying to stop her.

~~*~~*~~*~~

“Dawn,” he yelled as he entered the house. “Why the bloody hell is the house glowing?”

“Willow’s here. She said that she talked to Buffy and that she wanted to come back. So she is wokin' on it.”

“Not bloody likely. She can not to a spell like that by herself.” He said walking over to the main source of light and opening that door.

What he saw shocked him. There was Willow sitting on the floor in a protective circle chanting while little pieces if light slowly came together, building something. He watched as little pieces of light flowed from Willow into the mass of light being constructed.

“Get out Dawn.” He said softly.

“NO I want to see this.” She exclaimed pointing towards the bright light.

“GET THE BLOODY HELL OUT NOW!!!” He said controlling the urge to put his game face on.

She huffed a ‘fine’ and headed to her room. He shut the door and locked it. If she was right the Buffy that was being built
was out of the body of the offerer taking part of Willow and forming a Buffy. He looked down to see that the light particles were coming out of him too. Speeding the process along. Also little lights came through the window and he figured that those were from the people passing by. The light mass started to change shape slowly becoming a human form, that of the dead Slayer. He caught on and started to chant the words with Willow. She looked over to him, surprised, but not mad. The words were foreign but the meaning was not.

Bring back to us those who we have lost,
Those who are still here but in remain in pain,
Let them live again…
The body was forming fast and then they were looking into a Buffy that
was hollow and empty. A body but no soul. Then a huge flash of light
erupted and the body fell to the floor.

~~*~~*~~*~~

Buffy watched as her new body was being formed out of the light. She smiled and chanted along with Willow and Spike. Then watched as the light stopped and body was complete. She looked at it unsure then stopped, smiled and stepped in. The pain was little to none. She smiled as she felt her self fall. She was finally feeling again.

~~*~~*~~*~~

Spike looked over to Willow. “Was that supposed to happen, pet?”

“Well, I , um… think so.” She said looking tired. Spike got up feeling a little weary as he looked at Buffy.

“Looks the same.” He reached down to touch her, bushing a hand along
her face. “Feels the same.” He watched as she fluttered her eyelids.

“Thinks the same.” She said as she opened her eyes completely. She met his eyes and smiled. He couldn’t resist. He wrapped his arms around her and put his face in her hair.

“Good to have you back, luv.”

“Same goes.” He helped her up then she ran over to Willow.

“I knew you could do it. Thank you Will, I love you so much.”

“Buff, it is so good to have you back.” She said as she started to cry.

“Dawn!” Buffy yelled almost shaking the house. Dawn was down in ten seconds throwing her self into Buffy’s waiting arms.

“Never leave me again. I love you Sis.” The tearful reunion went on for a while and Willow had called to others who had rushed over. The party went on for quite a while lasting almost the whole night. Buffy looked around seeing all her friends, she had found what she wanted, but it had taken dying to figure it out. She smiled wider then stopped as she noticed that someone was missing.

“Where’s Spike?”

Xander looked over to her. "He left when we got here."

“Well where would he go? I need to talk to him.”

“I know…” Dawn said quietly.

~~*~~*~~*~~

Spike sat down by the gravestone running his hands over the name… BUFFY ANNE SUMMERS… he smiled. This was where he cam to think. He loved to be here. Her body was under the ground, but she was here alive with a beating heart. But what was he to do now. The slayer, who he loved with his whole being, hated him with hers. His life had become protecting her memory and her friends and family. What was he to do now? He heard the ruffle behind him

“You should be with the ones you love, pet.” He told her not bothering to look around.

“What about you Spike?” she said softly, “You’re part of that group.”

He turned slowly looking her up and down looking for some clue as to what she was thinking.

“Why didn’t you let me die luv?” He had to ask.

“Because of Dawn…” He hung his head a little bit, “and because of me. Don’t say anything,” she said when he tried to speak. “The minute that I died, I could see it. Your love for me. It was so pure, so true, that I didn’t know how I didn’t see it.” She held up a finger when he tried to speak again, “while I was dead something changed about me. Spike,” she said putting the finger that had been used to hush him, under his chin to keep him looking at her, “I fell in love with you,” she smiled as shock then joy was cast across his features. “ I fell in love with all of you, the protective, the loving, the mourning, and even the demon. I saw it all, all of you and I love all of you. Please say that you can still love me? Please?” She pleaded as a single tear ran down her face.

“Sla.. Buffy, luv… I don’t… I …” he stopped stuttering when he saw her look down. “Of course. My love for you was all I had for a long time. I can’t stop that now or ever.” He said his accent becoming stronger as he started to tear up. “I luv ya, Buffy Summers, all of you…” he stopped talking when Buffy threw herself into his arms laughing.

“I love you Spike.”

“Ditto,” he said as he kissed her full on the lips. The kiss was one of joy and happiness, one that then deepened into passion and longing. She pulled away still needing to breathe.

“Spike, one other thing.” He looked over to her shocked for a second. “Will you promise to love me forever.”

“Yes, forever.” He said solemnly, and quickly, she thought knowing that he hadn’t even needed to think about it.

“Forever then, I promise you.” She said grabbing his hand and leading him back to the house. “Did I mention that I’m immortal now.” She said on a laugh.

Musta slipped your mind, luv.” He said with a smile. Buffy looked behind her and stopped. “Wait, we should take care of that shouldn’t we?” He asked him, pointing towards her headstone.

“What do you want to do about it luv?” He said on a laugh. “A body is under there.”

“Yeah, but not me. I am here with you forever.” She said the last bit quietly. “And I don’t want anyone to think any differently.” She said as she walked back over the gravestone made a tiny fist then hit the stone causing it to shatter. She looked down proudly at her work.

“Okay, we can go now.” She told him grabbing his hand and walking with him.

“Forever is gonna be fun with you, luv!” he told her on a laugh stopping on the sidewalk to look at her.

“A blast.” She agreed with a grin, then pulled him down for a long sweet kiss.

THE END

© 2001 Death-Marked Love