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The Simpson Family

Do'h!!!


Can life get any better for Homer J. Simpson? He juggles the roles of husband, father, safety inspector at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, bowler, beer drinker, astronaut, small business owner and dreamer, and makes it all look easy. But it wasn't always so easy for Homer J. Raised by his father, Abe, who tried to compensate for the absence of Homer's radical hippie mother, Homer graduated at the bottom of his high school class and managed to earn the distinction of being the longest-term entry-level employee at the plant. Together with his high school sweetheart, Marge Bouvier, Homer settled down in Evergreen Terrace, the nicest upper-lower-middle class section of Springfield, to raise his three precious children. Homer is fond of Duff Beer, donuts, Marge's pork chops and watching the Bee Guy on the Spanish channel. His dislikes include his boss, Mr. Burns, yard work and his neighbor, Ned Flanders.

-Hmmm


Marge Simpson is a happy homemaker and mother of three. Her prides and joys are Bart (her "special little guy"), Lisa and Maggie. She's also very proud of her husband, Homer, even though he frequently loses his keys and needs her to find them. Marge also has strong relationships with her sisters, Patty and Selma, and with her father-in-law, Abe Simpson. But she also has secrets: She has been tempted to stray from her husband by a charming bowler and was nearly seduced into a life of crime by her one-time neighbor, Ruth Powers. Aside from her duties at home, Marge has flirted briefly with a number of careers ranging from police officer to anti-violence activist.

-Eat my shorts!

Bart Simpson is misunderstood. Wrongly pegged as an underachiever and troublemaker, Bart would like to remind the world of some of his decent qualities: He looks out for his sister, Lisa; he's befriended outcasts and misfits like Milhouse Van Houten and Ralph Wiggum; he's injected romance into the life of his teacher, Edna Krabappel; and he brought down an illegal French winery during his brief semester abroad. So what if he's also befouled the Springfield Community Church with phony hymns or prank-called Moe's Tavern several times a day for the last few years? It all balances out, right? At age 10, Bart has managed to live out a number of dreams: He has starred in his own short-lived TV series (with his idol, Krusty the Clown), spotted and named a deadly comet that nearly destroyed his town, and almost snagged the role of Fallout Boy in the Radioactive Man movie. He couldn't have done any of those things without the help and support of his best friend, Santa's Little Helper.

-If anyone wants me I'll be in my room.

Lisa Simpson can't wait for college. She's only 8 and already reads at a 14th grade level, and has written a number of application-quality essays, one of which won her family a free trip to Washington, D.C. Her favorite activities include playing her saxophone, attending school and reading Non-Threatening Boys Magazine. A fan of Malibu Stacy, Lisa tried unsuccessfully to create her own talking doll, Lisa Lionheart. Unfortunately, no one wanted to buy a talking doll that was as judgmental as Lisa. Lisa wants everyone to know that she is a vegetarian and that if she could have one thing (besides world peace), it would be a pony.

Chtt-Chtt

Maggie doesn't really have an exiting life except that she loved Mr. Burns' Teddy bear, and then shot Mr. Burns a couple of times but no one really cared the second time. Maggie is smart enough to rewind a VCR and she has also roamed all around Springfield at night and is still trying to walk and talk. 

-My story start in nineteen-"dickety"-two, we had to say "dickety" because the Kraiser had stolen the word twenty from us, anyway I chased that rascal for a while to get it back but gave up after "dickety"-six miles.

Not many people know that Abe Simpson is a highly decorated veteran of the Second World War. Even fewer people know that he is the inventor of the toilet and the man who made cats and dogs hate one another. No one knows these things about Abe because no one listens to him. In fact, they usually leave the room when he starts to speak. Father of Homer Simpson, grandfather of Bart, Lisa, and Maggie, Abe, aka Grampa, lives in the Springfield Retirement Castle where he enjoys soft foods and company of his friends. Abe was lucky enough to briefly find success in his retirement as a writer for the award-winning Itchy & Scratchy cartoon series. That career came to an end when he publicly scolded the entire cartoon industry at an awards show. He has won no awards since then.

-Ruff

Santa's Little Helper may not have been lucky for Homer Simpson at the racetrack one Christmas Eve, but he sure has turned out to be one fortunate dog. Loved and doted on by his owner, Bart Simpson, Santa's Little Helper enjoys the sort of life that most dogs can only dream about: He belongs to a tolerant family who let him tear up the furniture and eat from the table, he enjoyed a brief but fruitful relationship with a lovely greyhound (together they had 25 puppies, all of whom escaped being killed by Mr. Burns) and he earned a degree from one of Springfield's most prestigious canine academies. Of course, life hasn't been all milkbones for Santa's Little Helper: His legs were broken by Mr. Burns, he was abandoned by the Simpson family for Laddie, a better-bred dog Bart bought from a catalog, and he was forced to eat several pounds of fried bacon when Homer briefly flirted with a career in grease harnessing. Santa's Little Helper enjoys long walks with Bart, burying things in the backyard and begging for food.

-Meow

Snowball II is the scrappier, livelier replacement for the Simpson family's first cat (may she rest in peace). Snowball II has been known to dance upon a ball and perform minor tricks, almost never within the sights of any family member. She has a comfortably familiar relationship with Santa's Little Helper, the Simpsons' pet greyhound. So comfortable, in fact, that the two of them have been known to cuddle and pet one another when no one is watching. Like her namesake, Snowball II enjoys yarn, petting sessions and, as ever, coughing up large chunks of her own fur.