Part Eight

Ba-Bump!

Ba-Bump!

Ba-Bump!

BUMP-BUMP-WHUMP! SCHRE-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-C-H!!

Even though she tried to control it Tamara made a grab into the darkness as the U-Haul began to travel on a section of metal grating. She held her breath waiting for a sound from her captors but all that filled her ears for the next thirty seconds was the screech of the tires on steel, then just as suddenly it stopped and again all that could be heard was the rhythmic double bump as they crossed each forty foot section of concrete bridge deck.

Ba-Bump!

Ba-Bump!

Ba-Bump!

God! Her head hurt, both inside and out. A double whammy from both a thumper of a headache and the gashed goose egg left by Marvin's beating. She took a deep inhale.. it seemed like there wasn't any air in there and Lord was she thirsty. Toward the back of the cargo box one faint, needle thin spot of light was all she could see. Must be daytime. Tamara bit her lip. Daytime! That meant Earl was driving and she was in here with the vamps. She pressed up against the metal side of the U-Haul and tried to clear her head.

"Good morning... 'Sunshine'. You woke up just in time to cross the Mackinac Bridge. Five miles of suspension bridge over the straits, too bad you can't see it. I would imagine you would find crossing it as the sun rose over Lake Huron absolutely beautiful."

Tamara tensed at Marvin's voice coming out of the darkness. She shut her eyes and froze.

"Yes I know you are awake and I am talking to you."

Something rolled across the floor and hit her arm causing her to jerk away.

"It's only a bottle of water. Still with the factory seal." Marvin said with obvious annoyence. "Earl thought you might be needing it through the course of the day. He bought you a half a dozen of them."

Hesiently Tam reached out.

"A little to your left."

"You can see in the dark?" She whispered as her hand found the bottle to her left as Marvin had instructed.

"I can do a lot of things in the dark."

"No ssssshit." She hissed.

"Be niccccce." He hissed back.

Tamara sat up and scooted a few feet away from the voice. She unscrewed the cap on the water both feeling and hearing the "snaps" of the perforated plastic as the seal gave way. In silence she drank as Marvin tried to draw her into a conversation.

"Your little escapade last night really set us back. I'm sure there are teams ahead of us by now since - thanks to you - we spent most of the night tracking and backtracking on State Routes. Destroyed the time we saved by going around Detroit. But here we are on the Bridge, in a few minutes we will be in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. It's my old stomping ground. Have you ever been there?"

With a grimace Tamara tried to shut her ears to his voice.

Accompanied a small dark chuckle Marvin moved to a different spot in the blackness to un-nerve her a bit before continuing. "Yes, I was from Houghton on the Keweenaw Peninsula. Was born there in 1857, before there even was a Houghton. It came into being ten years later due to the copper mining boom. But I had more imagination than to spend my life in a copper pit. At fifteen I signed up as a hand on a beautiful schooner and sailed away for many a season. So tell me, have you ever sailed? Ran free before and at the mercy of the wind?"

Despite her situation Tamara started to answer. "No, but I would..." She shut up and mentally cussed herself for saying the first word.

"Aahh..." Marvin's voice went to a low murmur. "....you would love it, as I did. For it was such an exhilaration to bind the wind to my will and face these freshwater seas. But for me, in the end the lakes won and took the ship down. I was the only survivor, crawled out of Lake Huron near Goderich, Ontario and was turned by my rescuer. Ironic wouldn't you say?"

Tamara curled her lip. "Too bad you didn't drown."

"It was close, for Lake Huron was very angry that night. Have you ever read 'Moby Dick'? In it Ishamel describes the Lakes."

Marvin shut his own eyes and began to quote in a reverent tone: "These grand fresh water seas of ours - Erie, and Ontario, and Huron, and Superior, and Michigan - possess an ocean-like expansiveness. They contain round archipelagoes of romantic isles. They have heard the fleet thundering of naval victories. They are swept by Borean and dismasting waves as direful as any that lash the salted wave. They know what shipwrecks are; for, out of sight of land, however inland, they have drowned many a midnight ship with all its shrieking crew."

The words swirled through Tamara's mind, painting alternating visions of sweet sunrises and sudden storms; a chanting crew raising the sail before the favoring wind and the same faces crying out to God as their ship crumbled beneath their feet; silent, endless forests merging into crowded, clamor filled docks; ice and spires of hull piercing rock spinning into safe ports of call.

A soft whisper began to dance in her head, soothing the hurt, making her feel as if she was wrapped in a feathery light. "So now Tamara, it is your turn. Now you will tell me of your harbors, and gales, and midnight ships. Tell me of what you hold dear, and what you fear, and how you react to that fear."

She felt herself almost slipping into a trance when Rupert's words of warning flared in her brain.

"Do not, under any circumstance, allow a vampire to mesmerize you. Once they get in your head they have you under control."

With a jerk she came back from the brink and flung the half empty bottle toward the voice. "Shove it!" She spit. "Like I hang around the harbor at midnight waiting for the fleet to come in!"

Hidden by the darkness, Marvin bared his fangs toward her but kept his voice even. "So the Watcher has taught you well? I should have known."

"Yeah! And another thing you should 'know' shit-for-brains is that I'm getting out of this mess, and then me and Rupert and Kim are gonna take turns staking different parts of you. And you wanna know what part I've got dibs on?"

"So you believe they will risk their lives to save yours? How long have you known your traveling companions?" Marvin questioned then answered his own inquiry. "Not for long, I know that for a fact because Thomas overheard how you allowed this strange man to join you and that you had never seen this Kim woman face to face before the treasure hunt."

"You should learn to control these reckless tendencies, for they seem to get you in a lot of.... trouble. First, you pick up trouble at the resort. Second, you walk into trouble in Daytona. Third, you bring trouble upon your teammates in Memphis."

The vampire slid a little closer. "Do you see a pattern here? As the old song said: 'If it weren't for bad luck I'd have no luck at all. Gloom, despair and agony on me'. Negative energy seems to follow you. Like last night when you brought more than just 'trouble' to that man."

"Oh... God no!" Tam thought to herself as the memory of the attack on the stranger flooded back. She hung her head and choked back a sob.

"It upsets you? Yes, get good and agitated for I would like to see what else you can do."

"What are you talking about?" Tamara said, genuinely confused.

Marvin's voice was closer still. "Don't play games with me human. I know you moved the truck. I just want to know if it's a conscious act or something that you have no control over."

Tamara shook her head. "You're nuts. I didn't move the truck."

"Is that so?" Marvin asked directly in her ear.

Tamara tried to move away but an iron grasp caught her wrist. She pulled against it for a split second but quickly decided that it would only get her hurt again. "How? Come on, be reasonable. How... how could I have moved this thing?"

Marvin's eyes narrowed as he saw her go pale. Slowly he loosened his grip and ran his hand up her arm to her shoulder, then across it to her neck, then upward until his hand cupped her chin. With a paced, deliberate motion he turned her face to his and felt for any trace of the supernatural. His face moved closer and she felt his cold lips brush down the side of her cheek searching for the unmistakable but absent heat of sorcery. "My mistake." He whispered with neither threat nor sincerity. Then he released her and moved away.

With a shudder Tamara leaned forward and wrapped her arms around her drawn up knees. "Moved the truck? He thinks I moved the truck?" She began to rock back and forth as she sorted out what had happened at the stop. "Okay, Earl was dragging me back; that poor guy was following us; I wanted to stop this; then the vampires tripped over each other coming out of the truck." She hugged her knees a little tighter and went over it again and then again. Then she remembered that crunch of tires on the gravel. The truck had moved, but she has been at least 20 feet away so why did this dead dipshit think...?

Her eyes shot open wide as she remembered that day that her dog had gotten loose. She had been about thirteen and Casey had bolted out of the gate and was running into the road, straight into the path of a car. She had screamed and the car just turned "boom" right off the road and into the ditch. But the driver had claimed he had never seen the dog. He told the police that something had gone wrong with the steering.

Then a few years later she had been out with a friend and that jerk in the restaurant had followed them out to the parking lot. He was about three sheets to the wind and was giving her friend Sue a raft of shit. Sue was trying to be polite and get away from him but he had grabbed her. Tamara remembered coming around the car yelling at him to get lost and leave her alone when a hunk of gutter had broken free, swung down and damn near knocked his brains out. They had laughed about it and Sue still kidded her about being "The Voice of Doom".

And three years ago at when that man tried to rob the restaurant she had worked at. She and Todd and Tina we doing the closing. Tina had taken some boxes out to the dumpster and been accosted by the robber. He had made her let him back in and held all three of them at gunpoint demanding that the safe be opened.

Tamara pursed her lips together to keep from smiling at the terrible gallows humor of that night. Without warning a leg had given way on one of the prep tables sending a 5 gallon bucket of used frying oil sliding off and spilling all over the man. As he slipped and slid like a cartoon character the gun had went flying out of his hand and spun under the refrigerator. Now Todd had been a linebacker, and with a yell he launched his 220 pounds straight onto the oil covered robber as if sacking the quarterback. Tina had ran for the silent alarm and Tamara herself had grabbed a broom and played "Whack-a-Mole" with any part of the crook that would pop up from under Todd.

Tam licked her lips and settled back. Yes, strange shit happened to her, or happened when she was around. Case in point would be this entire trip. But if she had the "power" to do this, how come she was trapped in a U-Haul full of vampires? How come she couldn't reach out and save herself? She sneered at Marvin's accusation that she had moved the truck and mumbled outloud. "Too bad Marvin ain't right. Then all I'd have to do is think hard enough and someone would come and save me, or something weird would happen to them."

Marvin had been watching her and noted the change in attitude. "What do you mean by that?"

"You're lucky I didn't move the truck." Tamara answered. "Because if I could I would park it on your head."

******

Kim flopped down on the bed and hung over the side like a buzzard peering underneath said bed, the dresser and the chair. "Where is it?" She straightened up and scanned the floor again. "Trolls... the shoe trolls have struck again. Where in the hell...?" With a mumble she started to pull the blankets off the bed. "Not like we stopped to put anything in neat, folded, little "type A" stacks." She gave the blankets a shake and out flew her missing shoe, yesterday's bra and one of Rupert's socks. "Okay, this is worse that the time Christy and I went to that party up in Fort Loramie and..." She stopped, shuddered and corrected herself. "Nope... at least I know where my car is this time."

With a sigh she sat down on the edge of the bed and put her shoe on. They had to get moving... their eight hour stop had become over fourteen and it was a given that they were in last place. She got up, tapped on the bathroom door and stuck her head in. "Rupert, I'm going to put my stuff back into the van."

"Be careful, Luv." He cautioned from within the shower.

"I will. Uh... you might want to look around too. The bed is a mess and I think half our clothes were wound up in the sheets. I've accounted for my stuff and put yours in a pile, but you might still have something missing."

Rupert pulled the shower curtain back and grinned. "Now why would the bed be a mess?"

"I have no idea." Kim answered with a like grin as she shut the door.

Kimberly stuck a stake in her pocket and headed out to the parking lot swinging a trash bag containing her dirty clothes. She took a glance at the time and changed course for the motel payphone. "Five-thirty... bet Christy's up." Crossing her fingers in hope that Jim had not canceled her calling card she dialed her friend.

"Now what is this shit? Password? I need a password? Are we a little paranoid here folks?" Christy muttered to the monitor as she stared at vampire web site number 371 while sipping coffee number 48 and picking at the crumbs of Oreo bag number three.

When the phone rang she answered on the first ring with a nonprofessional grunt. "Umph, what?."

"Dearie? Uh, is that you?"

"KIMMIE!" Harrison yelled into the receiver. "THANK GOD!"

Two hundred and fifty miles North, Kim took a deep breath and began to spill. "Well, guess Jim called you, eah? So you know I've left him and now I'm sleeping with Rupert but I really don't feel..."

While in Cincinnati Christy began to launch into a caffeine and sugar powered dissertation. "Yesterday, just on a whim I decided to take the Cross-County to 75. I usually don't go that way but it was an impulse..."

".... like it's wrong. But even though I know it's all over I'm really, technically still married but..."

"...and I don't follow impulsive behavior. Ever since that time we decided on the spur of the moment to hitchhike to the Kentucky Derby and you remember how that turned out!"

"...let's face it it's been over for a couple of years now. I know last night wasn't the beginning of anything permanent, we're both just scared and confused and lonely..."

"But I cut in front of this U-Haul and then the traffic stopped and then this skinny, little, 98 pounds soaking wet guy with bright red hair and a pentagram earring came up to my car and...."

"...because the vamps have taken Tamara and it just seems hopeless at the moment..."

"...he made this gawd-awful noise and the window went down and he told me that he should toss me in the back of his U-Haul with the other vampires." Christy stopped for a breath and realized what Kim had been saying. "You left Jim and are sleeping with who?"

Kim's jaw dropped to her knees. "You saw the U-Haul? When? Where? Back it up here!"

Christy went into counseling mode. "Now Kimmie, don't go making rash decisions based on emotions."

"U-HAUL! Back to the U-Haul full of vampires!" Kim shouted with a wave of the hand. "Was it a seventeen foot U-Haul easy loading mover with New Mexico plates and the Manitoba super graphic of a bison?"

Harrison paused to think. "Uh... it did have a buffalo on the side."

"That was them! IT WAS THEM!" Kimberly shouted.

This just seems crazy, but I've been doing some research and..." Christy began to hedge. "... and maybe you do have a problem."

"MAYBE?"

"Okay, you DO have a problem." Christy began to pick at the Oreo crumbs again. "Listen, I felt like I HAD to get on 75, like it was calling me, yesterday morning at about twenty after eight."

Kim thought back. "Shit! That's when we going through there.."

"Are you going to listen to me?" Harrison interrupted. "Like I said, I-75 was calling to me and I ended up getting lectured about my driving by this red headed dip with a pentagram earring and glowing eyes. And he took my coffee because he didn't have time to talk because he had to get back to the U-Haul before Chickie tried anything!"

"Behind us... those bastards were behind us. So Harvey is pissing up a rope trying to find them..." Kim began to mutter.

"Darlin'?" Christy whimpered. "You know this is nuts. I keep thinking that I am just under so much stress that I'm having a fugue moment here. Almost like when we took the train to Chicago and pretended that we were $200 a night..."

"I gotta go! Listen up Dearie find whatever you can about The Slayer's Cross and cross reference it to what vamps can or cannot do with it." Kim paused for a moment as a whine came through the phone. "You okay?"

"Yeah... it's just that this is nuts." Christy said nervously.

"Well if anybody knows their 'nuts' you should. That's what you do for a living." Kim pointed out. "Listen I gotta rock and roll, Rupert and I have a lot of ground to cover today. I'll call you tomorrow for that research. Bye!"

"Bye."

Click... buzz.

Harrison twitched and hung up the phone. She sat there for a moment before she went back to her search engine and typed in "Slayer's Cross". As the results loaded her eyes darted back and forth between her staid and sober bookshelf full of psychology references and the monitor which was loading with seriously 'damnstrangeweird' sites. "Okay Harrison... you are now officially just as whacko as Kimmie."

The phone receiver bounced back off the hook. Kim left it swinging by the cord as she ran back to the motel room and barged in. "Rupert!"

At the sound of her yell a half-dressed Giles came flying out of the bathroom. "What.. what is it? What's wrong?"

Kim made a "hurry up" motion. "We gotta roll, Christy saw the vampires in Cincinnati at the same time we passed through there!"

"Are you sure?" Rupert asked incredulously then listened as Kim related her conversation with Harrison. "So instead of us chasing them, they are following us... damn!" He rubbed his hand back through his wet hair. "I'll finish getting ready, you call Harvey and relay this information. We have to get on the road."

"Right... I'll have him hold up at Whitefish Point until we get there. Maybe we will luck out and they can catch them following us in." Kim said with a nod.

"Very good." Rupert agreed as he tucked his pilfered Budweiser shirt in. He waited until Kim had left the room before allowing his face to fall as he began to speculate. "Oh dear God... they are following us instead of going to the next stop in search of the cross, that means we are still targeted... personally." The decision came so easy that he did not even have to think about it. "I will find this Marvin and trade myself for Tamara and the promise that he will leave these two women alone. Contest be damned."

******

(beep-beep)

The tip of Bryan's tongue could be seen peeking out from the side of his mouth as he concentrated on getting the frog across the road.

(beep-beep)

Made it past the semi.... here comes two cars, then a clear space..

(beep-beep-squish)

"Crap." Bryan muttered and reset the hand held "Frogger" game.

"Mr. Ferryman? Am I paying you to play games?"

Bryan Ferryman, the bored out of his skull third shift monitor of the Last Exit Treasure Hunt Event and all around handyman at the resort quickly pocketed his game. "Uh, hi Mr. Giovanni! I'm sorry... uh... didn't expect you to be down here at a quarter 'till six in the morning."

Giovanni let him sweat for a moment then gave his long-time employee a paternal smile. "That is allright Bryan. I assume most of the teams are at rest at the moment. What is the status?"

"Well sir, most of them are moving again." Bryan answered as he scooted his chair up to the monitor. "Bunch of them started moving out of the Detroit area at midnight." He fiddled for a moment wiping the remains of "Twinkie" off the mouse then brought up a map of Michigan. "Teams 8, 14 and 19 are almost to the Upper Peninsula with 2, 4, 12 and 20 strung out about an hour behind them. Ah.. team 17 stopped at about 3:00 yesterday afternoon in Detroit and hasn't moved yet and 11 just started moving around in Detroit again." He tapped the monitor over team eleven's location. "They seem to be lost."

Giovanni pulled up a chair and brushed the Fritio crumbs off it before he sat down. "Really?"

"Yes Sir." I think they got lost in Memphis too 'cause they didn't leave there until yesterday morning and for some reason team 6 hasn't left there yet." Bryan nodded his head and pulled up another tracking screen. "Okay, now that would make them in last place because the others are sorta 'out of it'. Groups 3, 10 and 15 have dropped out because of car trouble. Teams 1, 5, 13 and 16 are still in Daytona 'cause they've been arrested."

"Where they will be for awhile." Giovanni said with a chuckle. "Really, I cannot believe they were foolish enough to attack Jeff Gordon. He paused and pointed at the other "off-the-map" icon. "Team 9? Did anyone ever find out what happened to them?"

Bryan scratched his head. "Not that I know of. All I know is that their car is still in the lot and their stuff is still in the storage room where I put it. But they did find the lady from the Daytona bookstore in a dumpster."

"So I heard." Giovanni said with a shrug.

"Well Sir, someone is picking up team 9's packet. Maybe they changed cars?"

Giovanni arched an eyebrow. "What was that again?"

"Uh... someone has been picking up team nine's packet."

"Looks like we are going to have to disqualify another team." Giovanni grumbled. "Seven went off their route and eighteen tried to modify their tracking device. Why can't people follow the rules?" He sat back and sighed. "I'm going to contact our man up at Whitefish Point. I think it's time we double checked for other violations." With a second theatrical sigh he pulled out his cell phone and dialed Michigan. His orders were straight to the point: All persons on all teams must sign in, all tracking devices must be checked for tampering and there was to be a 24 hour mandatory stop of the game due to improprieties. Beginning right now and ending at 6:00 AM tomorrow all qualified teams must stay within a 20 mile radius of Whitefish Point and not move out of that radius.

That done, Giovanni stood and stretched. "Well, Bryan keep me posted and..." A movement on the screen caught his eye as the icon for team seventeen began to flash. "....So, my niece has finally decided to get up and get on with this."

******

Philip stared straight at the green and white van. "I don't bleedin' believe it!"

"Yes!" Nigel exclaimed as he raised his hands to the heavens. "Finally some good luck!" He blinked a couple of times and began to laugh as Rupert got out of his van and began to gas it up at the station directly across the road. "Hurry up with our petrol! We'll follow them out of this blasted town and when we get somewhere quite we'll take them out."

Philip nodded and continued to fill their tank. "You go pay Guv'ner and I'll finish up."

Nigel could hardly contain himself as he went to pay for the gas. They had spent hours trying to find the "Maritime Sailors Cathedral" and had given up at about 10:00 for their eight hours of rest without ever finding the place. But now the fates had smiled on them by dropping their quarry directly into their laps. All they would have to do is get them to some out of the way place, kill them, take their directions for the next stop, resume the game and buy or steal the cross from another contestant. No problem for once... no problem at all.

The two mercenaries quickly pulled out of the gas station and went around the block to position themselves and wait on Rupert and Kim to move out.

Giles slid into the driver seat and adjusted the mirror. "How far?"

"It's not a bad haul, Detroit to Whitefish Point clocks in at 362 miles." Kim said as she put a tea and a coffee into the drink holders. " 'Bout seven hours. Six and a half if we go like a bat outta hell. I told Harvey we would be there between one and two. He's going to go to the checkpoint then backtrack down to Paradise and wait on us."

"Paradise?" Giles queried.

Kim rattled the map. "Yeah, it's a small town about eight miles South of Whitefish. Only one road goes through it and he'll meet us at the only gas station there." She settled back and lit a cigarette. "I've been there a quite a few times. My brother has a cottage there on the bay."

"Very good." Giles said as he started up the van. "If there is a confrontation at least we know the lay of the land. But now, which way?"

"See that sign that says 'Interstate 75'? Get on the interstate heading North and follow your nose."

The miles slid by in what seemed to be slow motion. Out of Detroit, past Flint and Frankenmuth each mile marker drawing them one step closer to their destination. And a mile behind them the mercs followed, getting more and more restless with each minute. Nigel shut his eyes and tried to tune out Philip's habit of commenting on every damned sign, which was beginning to grate on his last nerve.

"We're in Saginaw. Saginaw... that's a funny name." Philip noted.

Nigel grunted.

"Wonder what that means... 'bridge turnout one half mile'?"

"Bridge turnout?" Nigel's eyes went wide with concern.

Philip whistled. "Look at that thing! That sign says it's called the Zilwaukee bridge. Goes straight up. Wish we had time to turn off and take a look."

Nigel leaned forward and grabbed the dashboard. "Straight up?" He mumbled as the bridge met his eyes. "I hate big bridges."

"Now Nigel, this isn't a bad one." Philip said barely able to hide his amusement. "We'll be over it in a minute." He reached over and tossed his leader a Michigan tourist brochure. "Not like the bugger we'll be at around noon. That one's going to curl your hair."

"What are you taking about?" Nigel asked suspiciously.

"Well mate, if we stay on this motorway we will have to cross a lot of water. I'm assuming we won't be learning how to fly so it's most likely this is the bridge that connects the two halves of this state."

"How big is it?" Nigel literally whimpered as his fingernails went into the dash.

"Look at the brochure, it's a big sod." Philip laughed. "I might have to shoot you just to get across."

Nigel's eyes darted to the cover photo on the brochure. "Would you?" He asked without a trace of humor. "It would be for the best."

******

"That was interesting." Rupert deadpanned, breaking an hour's worth of silence.

"Huh? What?" Kim said with a start.

"What we just crossed, an enormous bridge over a fair sized river."

"Oh... the Zilwaukee. It replaced a drawbridge." She barely answered and went back to her crossword. Well, not really back to it. In the two hours elapsed since she had put pen to the paper only a half a dozen words had been filled in. Her mind kept hashing and rehashing the last thirty-six hours since Tamara had been taken. She felt a little sick.... no, she felt a lot sick. "Rup, are they really going to let her go after they get the cross?"

Giles cleared his throat. "(Ahem) It's.... possible that..."

"But not probable." Kim interrupted. "I was afraid of that."

"I didn't say that. It's just there are no absolutes when dealing with vampires..." He reached over and took her hand, bringing it up to his lips for a quick kiss. "I'm only sure of one thing, we will find her and free her, I promise."

"Free her from the vampires or free her from being a vampire?"

Rupert shook his head at the question. "Don't think that way, please Luv be positive."

"Don't worry, be happy... will do Rup." Kim shifted in her seat. "I just can't shake the feeling that it's going to get a lot worse before it gets better. We wasted too much time stopping at my house and our 'rest stop'..."

Giles caught the inflection. "We needed the 'rest'. Please, don't second guess or feel guilty."

"Harvey had a fit that we were still in Detroit. He wanted to know what was wrong with us." She tossed the newspaper and pen to the floorboard. "And I'm neither feeling guilty or second guessing, I just want to know what the worst case could be."

"The worst case is not something you want to know." Giles said flatly. He took a glance toward Kim. "Believe me, they are cruel beyond your comprehension but I do not think they will harm her as long as they do not have the cross. Let's leave it at that."

Kimberly shook her head. "But at best that's a SWAG... a scientific wild ass guess."

"Correct." Giles confirmed as he pushed the accelerator a bit harder. "How much farther?"

Kim caught sight of a mile marker and did the math. "Two hundred and fifty two miles, four hours and fifteen minutes."

"I'll wager I can shave a half hour off of that."

"Great." Kim mumbled. "God knows what kind of torture she's going through right now."

******

"NO! NO! NO!" Tamara shouted.

Earl's eyes lit up and a hellish grin bloomed on his face as he reached over, picked up the jack and began to lay his cards down. "Knock!"

"Since when were you saving jacks? You just threw away a jack!" She barked at the laughing demon.

"Add it up, I think this puts me out... again" Earl crowed.

"Would you two keep it down." Thomas grumbled from the couch. "Some people are trying to rest."

Tamara shuffled the cards. "People? I'm the only 'people' in here.

Earl looked genuinely hurt. "Hey! What about me?"

"Uh... I thought you were a demon?"

"Demons are people too." Earl huffed. "There's different kinds, but we're people."

Tamara arched an eyebrow. "What kind are you?" Before Earl could answer Thomas raised up and offered. "Stupid! He's a stupid demon." Tam whirled around in her chair and pointed a finger at the vampire. "Knock it off! At least he's got a heart, more than I can say about the rest of you bozos."

Thomas hissed at her and shook his head. "Like that heart thing's going to mean shit to you in the near future."

"What do you mean..." Tam started but was stopped by Earl's hand on her arm. The little demon glared at Thomas. "Leave Chickie alone! The boss promised to let her go with me and you know it."

With a sinister laugh Thomas laid back down, crossed his hands under his head and leered at her. It was all Tam could do to keep from spouting off at their undead tormentor. She slowly turned back around in her seat to face Earl. "So... uh, what kind of demon are you?"

"Freelance." Earl said leaning back in his chair. "I work for whoever I want. Done it all, cook, soldier, scout..." He paused and grinned. "..I was one of Custer's scouts, that was fun. But ever since cars were invented I've been a driver."

"So, you got any powers? I though demons could do stuff like cause plagues, turn people into spiders or that whole 'sell your soul' thing."

"Weeelllll... a few." Earl said with a sly wink. "...I can change my form once a day if I want to, but I think this shape is macho."

Tam suppressed a giggle.

"And I can make mechanical things obey me. Like that woman driver that almost hit us? I made her driver's window go down. And I've got great instinct!" He waved his arm around the small living room of the lakefront cottage. "Like this place, I knew it was safe to stop here because it just came to me that the people are gone until the weekend and that there was a pickup truck in the garage!" He put his fingers to his lips in a motion for her to be quiet. "Listen, there's a boat out there on the lake."

Tamara cocked her head toward the lakeside window. "I don't hear anything."

"You wouldn't. I can tune in on any sound I want to. It's great for eavesdropping from across the room. Ooooo, and this is a good one, watch this!" Earl took the cards from Tamara's hand and laid four of them down on the table. "This is why a lot of vamps hire me 'cause they never have money." He tapped his finger on each of the cards and in turn they began to reform into twenty dollar bills.

Tamara picked up one of the bills and held it up to the light. "Complete with watermark and security thread... Earl, you could get in a lot of trouble for this."

"Naaa, it will change back to the five of diamonds in three days. Paper money is easy. I was so glad when they invented that 'cause turning rocks into coins gives me a headache."

From the doorway to the bedroom Marvin rolled his eyes. "And we don't want you to have a headache. So Earalachumbq, if you are finished showing off to the lady it's time for you to get moving."

"Can Chickie come with me?"

Tamara nodded in agreement. "Yeah, can Chickie go with him?"

"No she 'may' not go with you because she's going to be tied up here." Marvin answered while holding up a roll of duct tape. "Pick a spot where you like the view."

"Key West." Tamara snotted. "Or how about LA? Hell, I'd even take Pittsburgh at this point."

"Don't hurt her!" Earl warned.

"As long as she behaves herself we will not ruffle the first hair on her pretty little head. But if she causes problems...." Marvin said leaving the unspoken threat hanging in midair.

Earl leaned over and patted her shoulder. "Be good, okay? I'll be back in a few hours. Want me to bring you something?"

"How about a bus ticket?" Tamara said as she glanced back toward Earl. Her jaw dropped. There stood a six foot-three, blonde, blue-eyed, well cut hunk of... Earl?

"Sorry Chickie, but I had to change to this so they don't recognize me." He wrinkled his nose. "Don't worry, I'll change back after midnight."

"Get moving. We need to know if the cross is at this stop and you know what else to do." Marvin ordered. As Earl went out the door he ripped off a long piece of duct tape and began to bind Tamara's hands. "So, just for you he'll change back to the runt after midnight?" He said with a laugh. "Demons have such an bizarre view of human beauty."

With a frown Tamara processed this comment. "Watch it!"

******

The towns and miles ticked by accompanied by conversation which became more and more strained as they both tried to avoid the proverbial "elephant in the living room" of Tam's plight. Bay City, Standish, West Branch, Grayling where they stopped for gas and to change drivers. The sky became bluer and the countryside more wooded as they went North past Gaylord and Indian River until Kim pointed forward at a glimpse of something peeking over the trees but still miles away. "There it is, the Mackinac."

"Too bad there were all those people at that stop." Philip muttered for the umpteenth time. "We could have taken them if.... Damn! Look at that!" His jaw dropped as he caught sight of the twin towers of the bridge.

"No way, absobloodylutly not!" Nigel began to twist in his seat like a trapped rat. He reached into the glove compartment and began to throw its contents into the back seat. "...There has to be a way around that thing! WHERE'S THE BLEEDIN' MAP?!"

"Keep your hair on!" Philip yelled. "Maybe we will stop on this side of it!"

They came around the final curve and the full five miles of suspension bridge came into view.

"Stop the car.. stop the car... STOP THE GOD DAMNED CAR OR I'LL RIP YOUR THROAT OUT!!!"

"Nigel! We have to cross it!" Philip slammed on the brakes and veered onto the shoulder.

Nigel looked like a ghost. "I hate big bridges."

Philip laid his head on the steering wheel and cursed. After going through one third of his blue vocabulary he tossed his thumb backwards. "Get in the back seat, cover your head and grab your dangling bits, because they are getting away and I'll be damned if we're going to loose them!" This said he stomped on the accelerator and pulled back onto the interstate.

As they hit the approach Nigel went straight over the seat and curled up on the floorboard.

Philip considered shooting him but decided that it would be better to drive whenever possible on the metal grating.

SCHRE-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-C-H!!

Which drowned out his laughter at his bosses' five mile scream.

******

Harvey looked down the road for the twentieth time in as many minutes. "Where are they?"

"It's only a little after one." Laura said for the fifth time.

"We are so hosed, we are so screwed, we are so S.O.L." Michael muttered as he resumed his pacing.

"That might be them!" Harvey shouted, pointing down the road. "Yes! It's them!" He took off his ball cap and flagged the green and white van into the all inclusive grocery, gas, beer, ammo, live bait, pharmacy, laundromat, bookstore, restaurant and motel parking lot. Before they had even came to a full stop he was running beside them, motioning for them to roll down the window. "We got more trouble!"

Kim clenched the steering wheel. "Oh God what?"

"We all had to check in and they will want to see the tracking thing. Then we have to sit here until six AM before we head off to Oklahoma."

"OKLAHOMA!!" Both Rupert and Kim shouted in unison.

"Yeah, you think you can get there in a week?" Michael snotted. "Took you guys long enough to get here."

Harvey reached in and tapped on the dashboard. "I don't think you heard me. We ALL had to check in. If someone's missing you'll be disqualified."

Kim tossed her hands into the air. "Oh shit!"

"Pull in, behind them." Nigel ordered as they came upon the scene.

Philip laughed. "As you wish, 'Braveheart'."

Nigel's hand shot out and grabbed his fellow merc by the throat. "If you ever, in any way, shape or form tell anyone about what happened... I will skin you alive." He tightened his hold a bit. "No, correction... I will make you beg to only be skinned alive. Now pull the hell over and let's see if the cross was at this stop."

The first thing they heard as they got out of their car was Laura shouting. "Yeah! We ALL had to sign in and the guy was a real jerk about it. And then they told us we have to stop here until six in the morning."

"Excuse me." Nigel said as he approached. "Are you talking about the Treasure Hunt?"

As one both teams shut up and eyed this newcomer. After a few moments Michael finally broke the silence. "Who are you?"

"Nigel Walters and this is my fellow treasure hunter, Philip Patterson." He stepped a bit closer. "Did I hear you correctly in that we all have to sign in?"

Laura nodded and peered toward their car for the third member of their group. "You got it, where's your other person?"

"He ran off with a woman in Memphis." Nigel said through gritted teeth. "He was talking to her in a pub parking lot and did a runner on us."

Kim slid out of the van. "Same here. Our friend Tamara she took off without us down there too. Uh.. this woman wasn't driving a U-Haul truck was she?"

Philip blinked at the question. "No, not that I know of."

"Just checking." Kim mumbled as she stared at Nigel and then over at Rupert. "I got an idea if you two will go along with it."

"What?" Nigel asked a little suspiciously.

Kimberly walked around Nigel sizing him up. "Okay Laura, go in that store and get a big floppy hat and some 'ohmygod' red hair dye."

"I am NOT dying my hair!" Nigel sputtered.

"Nope..." She answered with a toss of her hand toward Giles. "...He's dying his hair." She grinned and patted Nigel on the shoulder. "You're losing your goatee, shaving your legs and slipping into my dress."

"YOUR DRESS?!" Nigel shouted.

"Yeah, I brought a dress, just in case we went someplace nice. What's the matter don't you think I own a dress?" Kim said with mock annoyance.

Philip doubled over in laughter. "I hope it's blue, that would compliment your eyes."

Rupert crossed his arms. "And I am to dye my hair red? For what reason my I ask?"

Michael rubbed his forehead. "Okay... he's in a dress and he's Mr. Clairol how's that going to help?"

"Simple." Kim said with an enthusiastic nod. "We go up there with Nigel pretending to be Tamara, Rup in his button down and sign in. Then we double back here and get Nigel out of drag and put Rup into something casual with an earring and spiked up red hair and send them back to sign this team in."

The six looked at her as if she had grown another head. Kim put her hands on her hips. "Okay... if anybody else has any other ideas, lets hear them now or forever hold you peace."

Laura began to giggle.

Philip and Michael joined in.

"It's crazy enough to work, so let's do it." Harvey said with an enormous smile.

"What do you mean 'let's'?" Nigel snapped. He pointed toward Rupert and then back to himself. "We are the ones who are going to be doing this charade."

"That is correct. If we want to stay in the game we must check in and this seems to be our only option." Rupert pointed out.

"Look, we got a cabin here for the night - the last one." Michael said while holding out a key. "You guys can go get changed..."

Kim opened the van and dug out her garment bag and opened Tamara's suitcase. "Here you go, the dress is in this and I'll dig out one of Tam's bras for you."

Nigel grimaced. "I beg your pardon?"

"Well, you could use one of mine, but if you're going to do this you might as well be more than an 'almost A' cup." She cracked. "It will be nice to see how this dress looks with cleavage."

"Oh really Kimberly, I find nothing wrong with your..." Rupert started then quickly backpedaled up as Laura's eyebrow shot up. ".. have, uh.. mmmm... your perfectly fine taste in attire." He cleared his throat and went to retrieve his suit.

Forty minutes later the ersatz team seventeen pulled out of the lot. Rupert in suit and tie, Kimberly in jeans and sweatshirt and Nigel in a lovely green dress with matching floppy hat, scarf and sunglasses.

"Hold still." Kim ordered as she applied the makeup on his face. We only have about ten minutes and you still have to practice her signature."

"This is insane." Nigel sputtered. "If I didn't have to stay in this bloody game.... urf!"

Knock it off, comrade!" Kim pinched his cheeks a little harder to pout his lips out as she applied the gloss. "There... done. By the way, you got to get a little more 'swish' in you walk. And here's a pad and a pen, get crackin'!"

At that moment Nigel decided that he was going to be the one to kill her. For free. For his own pleasure. Slowly, while laughing and drinking a pint. With that though in mind he smiled at her as he took Tamara's drivers license and began to practice the looping "T" of her signature.

Kim crawled up to the front and blew out a deep breath. "Sydney or the bush... we're almost there." She gave Nigel a sidelong glance and leaned over to Rupert. "Guess we have to behave tonight since we're bunking with Harvey and the others."

"I was talking to Harvey while you and Laura helped Mr. Walters to get dressed." Rupert whispered. "At sunset we are going to try and find the rental truck. Marvin has to be around here somewhere."

With a sigh Kim nodded her agreement. "You're right, bad Kimmie. What was I thinking?"

"Mmmm.... I would say you were thinking the same thing I was." Giles confessed with a Ripper smile which quickly faded to a serious expression. "I don't want to frighten you but I believe that you should stay in seclusion tonight for I believe that Marvin will try to take you also. Harvey, Michael and Laura will take their vehicle and search for the U-Haul, keeping in contact with you by cell phone. I will patrol the immediate area on foot." He reached over and squeezed her hand. "We'll find Tamara and in the morning this will all be over."

"You're not, not going out by yourself. Rup, that's crazy." Kim said a little too loudly.

Giles glanced into the rear view at Nigel who was giving them a curious look. "Later, Luv." He said softly. "We'll discuss this later."

Kim turned around and put her seatbelt on. "Right, later." She said under her breath as she wondered what he meant by "this will all be over".

The parking lot at the Shipwreck Museum was packed. Rupert pulled into an end space and began to clean his glasses. "Well, now or never."

"I would prefer 'never'." Nigel grumbled as he moved up between them. "Take a look at that wanker we have to talk to!"

Kim and Rupert's gaze followed Nigel's pointing finger to a small booth manned by one very prissy looking man who was arranging pens in a neat line down the side of a table.

"Oh great, does the phrase 'anal retentive' come to anybody else' mind here?" Kim snotted as the treasure hunt overseer took out a handkerchief and brushed a bit of dust off the table.

Giles shut his eyes and sighed. "Splendid. He reminds me of a compatriot I worked with for a short time."

"A cross every "T" and dot every "I" type?" Kim questioned.

"Exceedingly." Giles took a good hard look at Nigel. "While I'm sure your costume would work in some sections of London, I don't think it will pass muster here."

"I feel sick." Kim whined.

"Sick... sick! That's it." Rupert clapped his hand together. "Tamara is deathly sick and if he makes an issue of her presence we will drag her off her deathbed..."

Kim's eyes lit up. "Along with her germs! Puking and hacking and sneezing all the way!" She pointed to the cooler. "There's a bottle of Mountain Dew in there!"

Nigel screwed up his face into a twisted smile. "Why not? I'm in this sodding deep already."

"Wish me luck." Kimberly said as she got out of the van.

"Good luck." Giles said while blowing her a covert kiss.

She walked over to the treasure hunt table and gave the man her best tired smile. "Team seventeen, checking in."

"Name." The man asked in a whiny, nasal voice while picking up a clipboard.

"Rupert Giles, Tamara Healy and Kimberly Linthicum."

"Where's the other two? All must sign in or be disqualified."

Kim pointed toward the van. "Tamara is sicker than a dog and Rupert is taking care of her. He's better with puke than I am." She bit her tongue to keep from smiling as the man flinched.

"I'm sorry, but rules are rules." He tapped the sign in sheet. "You must all sign in and I must check your tracking device before I can give you your next set of instructions."

"All right, if you say so." Kim said with a shrug. "I just hope she can stand up without yorking up everything but her toenails." She started to walk away. "Oh, you might want to wear a mask while you're checking that tracking thingie. She's coughed and sneezed all over the van."

Kim opened the van door and stuck her head in. "Okay guys, your on. He's being a total prick but I think he's vomit-phobic."

Nigel took a mouthful of soda and allowed himself to be helped out of the van and straight to a trash can where he made as nasty of a noise as he possible could while Kim and Rupert held him up.

"My coat! Watch my coat! Oh DAMN! That will never come clean!" Giles yelled for effect along with Kim's colorful "Icks" and "acks".

"That's allright!" The treasure hunt agent shouted as he himself began to turn a fine shade of green. "You, you can sign in for them! Just get her back in the van!"

With a sad but appreciative smile Kim came back over to the table. "Oh thank you. (sigh) Tam is so sick that we don't know what to do." She picked up a pen and signed them in. "You are truly a saint."

"Compassion does have its place." He mumbled as he held up a trash can for her to drop the pen into. "Here's you packet. Now you will see that the next leg will be a free for all. You have to get to Straight, Oklahoma as quickly as possible and however you choose. Also, Mr. Giovanni has changed the rules for this stop so everyone is well rested."

"How so?" Kim asked.

"You must stay within a twenty mile radius of this spot until six AM and at that time you may leave." He peered over Kim's shoulder, watching Rupert help 'Tamara' back into the van. "Now if you will just promise me that you have not touched your tracking unit, I will let you go."

"Cross my heart!" Kim said with the appropriate motion. "Now all I have to do is go buy something from the gift shop here and find someplace to crash, right?"

"Correct."

"Thanks pal." Kim said with sincerity as she took off for the museum store, passing by a blonde hunk with a pentagram earring who had been watching the entire show.

From within the van Nigel and Rupert watched her go. "I'll be damned, it worked." Nigel huffed.

"I did not have the first doubt." Rupert lied as he crawled back into the driver's seat. He sat there for a moment and then turned back to Nigel. "Where are you from and why are you in this contest?"

"East End and why not?" Nigel answered. "And yourself?"

Rupert caught the significance of the nonanswer and replied in kind. "Near London and same reason." With that he turned in his seat and waited on Kim to return.

As soon as she hopped back in Rupert started out and they returned to the Paradise all inclusive grocery, gas, beer, ammo, live bait, pharmacy, laundromat, bookstore, restaurant and motel. Rupert allowed himself to be turned into a redhead wearing jeans and Laura's silver hoop earring and left with team eleven to complete the ploy.

Earl yawned and stretched as he waited for the treasure hunt employee to return to his table. What he though would only be a few hours of surveillance had turned into an all day sucker waiting for the last team to straggle in. But, according to what he had overheard from this end of the phone conversation, they were on their way after what seemed to be an extended stop down the road in Paradise. "Ain't technology wonderful?" He chuckled to himself as he recalled the indignant phone call back to Pennsylvania demanding to know where this team was because it was "getting late". So all he had to do was nail this wimp, take his place and send the last team in to the hideout to become an early evening vamp snack.

But Nigel pulled into the lot just as the agent reappeared causing Earl to swear in demonese. He sat back and considered his options. "Of all the lousy luck, now Marvin is going to be pissed off and Chickie is going to be in there with hungry vampires. Maybe I could just knock that wimp on the head, toss him in the pickup and run him over there? Or maybe I could get all four of them... what the hell?" Earl stopped mid-speculation to do a doubletake. That was the Watcher, again.. checking in with this group. He leaned forward and tuned in on Giles as he said his "name" - Patrick Donaldson.

Then the agent gave them their instructions and went to check the tracking unit. Earl focused on the group overhearing their conversation.

"Looks like we did it again." Nigel said softly as he pulled out some money from his wallet. "So 'Patrick' old friend, would you be so kind as to go get the bleedin' souvenir?"

"Certainly." Giles answered with relief in his voice. "I'll be right back."

As he moved out of earshot Nigel motioned Philip closer. "There is a secluded stretch about two miles from here. I want you to pretend that the steering is going bad and pull over. We will get him to take a look at the tire and blow his sodding head off. Then we'll drag the corpse into the woods and go take care of the woman."

"What about that other group? I'd wager they know about the cross." Philip whispered.

"We hook their van and that other team will think that these two deserted them."

Earl's eyes began to glow as he came over to the two mercs. "Excuse me..." He rumbled.

"Sod off!" Philip snapped a second before his feet left the ground and he found himself nose to nose with a pissed off demon.

"I'm being nice and you say that to me?" Earl snapped as he raised Philip up another foot and dropped him. "Now as I was saying, Ex-suuuusssee me, but you can't do that."

Nigel circled around the stranger. "Who are you?"

"I'm Earalachumbq, but you can call me Earl - just like your friend Patrick does. And I'm telling you don't hurt the Watcher cause we need him to get the Slayer's Cross and you don't hurt that Elvis staking Kim woman because the boss said I get to make a planter for my spider plant out of her skull." He gave a dark chuckle. "It's a nice spider plant.. with real spiders."

Philip backed up. "You know Patrick? But Patrick is.. is..."

"Dead... well 'undead' is the more correct term. And if you are the guys who ran off and left him to get turned, boy is he pissed at you."

Nigel shook his head as the information rattled around in his brain. "You are after the cross, the same as we are?"

"And the Watcher's going to get it for us 'cause he thinks we'll trade it for Chickie."

"Listen, we can't be seen talking to you." Nigel said while looking around. "We will let the Watcher live and take him back to that little town South of here. Go tell your boss we want to meet him, perhaps we can work together."

"There's a little picnic area half a mile down the road from here. Be there at sunset." Earl said as he went toward the parking lot.

"These bastards killed Patrick and you're thinking about working with them?!" Philip spit.

"Doubles our chances of finding the cross and selling it to the highest bidder."

"Valid point."

"Thought you would see it that way."

******

As he pulled a twenty out of his wallet Earl glanced up to see Michael, Laura, Harvey, Rupert and Kim pass by the front window heading for the restaurant end of the building. "So the fishing's pretty good up here?" He said, continuing the conversation with the clerk.

"Yup! None better. You say you're staying at the Tahquamenon Falls campground?"

Earl picked up his change and groceries. "Yeah, but I'd like to find a cottage. Maybe next year." With that he gave the clerk a friendly nod and went out to the "borrowed" pickup parked in the front of the building. He tossed the bag into the back and took a peek into the restaurant to get an eyeball on the humans sitting at the window booth. Assured that they were settling in to eat he walked the other way and went around the building to the lot which served as parking for the small cabin style motel. "Chickie would like a change of clothes." He thought as his attention zeroed in on cabin number six with the two vans parked in front of it. "Bet her stuff is still in the van."

As casually as possible he strolled over to team seventeen's vehicle and tried the door. "They locked it? Nobody trusts anybody anymore, that's what's wrong with the world today." He grumbled as he eyed the lock and made an upward jab with his finger, causing the door to unlock on its own. He took a covert look around and crawled into the van.

******

Giles settled into the restaurant booth, opened the menu and scanned the listing of plain, solid, 'stick to you ribs' fare. For a brief moment he forgot about everything except how hungry for a good meal he was. "They have pasties!" He exclaimed.

"Yeah, beef and potato." Kim said enthuastically. "They are the best for miles!"

"Pasties?" Harvey asked as his eyebrow shot up. "Isn't that what strippers wear on their... their you know... their 'there'?"

"No, it's a beef and vegetable pie." Rupert corrected.

"Not where we come from." Laura giggled.

Kimberly rattled her menu. "Then stick to the fried chicken, you guys just don't know what's good."

Laura finished her giggle fit at the mental image of the waitress serving up a steaming platter of sequined and tasseled breast adornments and closed her menu. "Well I'll try it."

"Not me." Michael countered with a shake of his head. "I'm getting a burger and fries."

"Oh live dangerously Michael and try a pasty." Rupert laughed.

Michael's expression turned serious. "I think we're living dangerously enough. We have to decide what we're doing tonight to try and find Tam."

"Defiantly." Giles agreed as he reached for his wallet. "I've made some notes about what Harvey and I discussed... earlier. Blast it!" He checked his jacket pocket and the other pants pocket. "I seem to have left my wallet in the cabin." He mumbled a bit under his breath and slid out of the booth. "Order for me please, I'll be right back."

Kim motioned for him to stay there. "I can cover for you."

"No, I need my notes." He answered back over his shoulder. "A pasty and hot tea please."

Just as he rounded the building he caught sight of Earl leaning over the back seat of their van, hauling Tamara's suitcase up and over the seatback. He broke into a dead run, covering the lion's share of the distance before shouting, "GET OUT OF THERE YOU MISERABLE, BASTARD, THIEF!"

Suitcase in hand, Earl jerked open the side door only to have his face make acquaintance with Rupert's fist. "DROP IT BEFORE I..." Rupert stopped mid-shout as he caught sight of the pentagram earring and the yellow-orange light that flashed for a second in Earl's eyes. His voice went to a growl as he blocked the doorway. "Where is she?"

Earl rubbed his jaw for a moment as he decided what course of action to take. "With Marvin."

"Take me there."

"You got more balls than brains." Earl laughed.

Rupert's eyes narrowed. "I've been told that before. Now take me there for I have a proposition for him."

"No way, he's in a bad enough mood. If I would show up with you he might hurt Chickie just for spite." Earl said with a shake of his head. "But I'll take him the message."

For a moment Giles considered this logic before accepting Earl's offer. "Very well, tell him that I am willing to exchange myself for Tamara and assist him in finding the Slayer's Cross. Providing she is released unharmed and both she and her friends are left alone to continue their adventure."

Earl's cackling laugh sliced through the air. "Fat fucking chance!"

"You haven't heard the entire message, creature."

"CREATURE!" Earl spit as his demonic nature flashed across his face.

"Don't interrupt me!" Rupert snarled meeting the challenge. "If he does not accept this offer tonight, I will make it my life's work to track him down and destroy him by inches. Using the Slayer's Cross to torture him until he begs to be released to the hellfire."

Something in Rupert's eyes made Earl realize that these were not idle words. "Allright, I'll tell him. If he agrees, he'll meet you right across the road from here, by the lake at 11:00." He slid the suitcase out of the way and got out of the van. "You humans are a pain in the ass, you know that?" The demon grumbled as he began to leave. "By the way, how'd you know I worked for Marvin and wasn't just a suitcase snatcher?"

Rupert picked up Tamara's bag, slammed the van door, walked up to Earl and gave the earring a flick. "I've got one just like it, which I took from a slain demon."

Earl shifted uneasily on his feet as Rupert continued on into the cabin. "That guy's trouble." He thought. "Real trouble."

Giles entered the cabin and pulled the curtain back to see which way the demon was going, but it seemed to have vanished. He locked the door, sat down on the edge of the bed and retrieved a pad and pen from the nightstand. With a long exhale he steadied himself and began to write:

Dearest Kimberly and Tamara,

Without going into unnecessary detail all I shall tell you is that I have arranged a meeting with Marvin to offer myself in exchange for Tamara. This decision is of my own choosing and I accept the inevitable outcome. Do not, under any circumstance try to come to my aid or rescue for it would be an exercise in futility. On the risk of sounding melodramatic I know that as soon as I am sure Tamara is safely away I will fight these creatures to the death. Pray that I have the strength to take my own life rather than allow myself to be turned. But if the worse does come to pass and I ever come to either of you in the night, be warned I will be coming to cause you great harm, to take you life, to turn you into a vampire. You must close your ears to my lies and destroy me.

You will find a cache of Holy water, stakes and a short sword hidden in the floorboard boot of your van. I have left them for you to use for your own protection.

Forgive me, my Dears for causing you so much grief.

With Love,
Rupert

He tugged for a moment on his suddenly tight collar and then stuck the note into the bottom of Kim's cosmetic bag for her to hopefully find in the morning. Rupert turned his head and stared at his reflection in the dresser mirror. "Well old man..." He said to his image. "...might as well go enjoy your last meal."

******

Tamara jerked awake out of her fitful doze to the sound of an argument in the next room.

"We have to work with those miserable sods?"

"That's the new vampire, at the top of his lungs." She whispered to herself as she strained to hear through the log walls.

"I cannot believe you're taking this personally. Now that we know where you are, we will make sure you get your due compensation."

"Huh?" She wondered as a strange English accented voice met her ears. Scooting over to the wall she pressed her ear against it mouthing cuss words as the group in the next room moved outside. Which is how Earl caught her as he suddenly popped in. "Hi Chickie! I brought you something to eat."

Tamara tried to see into the next room. "What's going on out there?"

"I don't want to have lie to you so don't ask." Earl said as he sat down beside her. "Got you some beef jerky and some of that applesauce in the little containers and a bag full of cashews and..." He stopped as Tamara made a noise akin to an angry cat. "What's the matter?"

"What's the matter?! Earl... has it ever occurred to you that I'm not having a good time?"

"Well... you are tied up an awful lot."

With a voice that sat on the line between exasperation and disbelief Tamara pointed out. "I think the operative word here is 'kidnapped', followed by a couple more biggies - 'by vampires'!"

Marvin's voice sounded from the other room. "Earl! Get her out here and into the U-Haul!"

"We're going to Oklahoma." Earl stated happily as he reached down and picked her up, still bound hand and foot. "Do you know the words to that song. Ooooooklahoma where the sun comes sweeping down the plain."

"Ooof! The wind." Tamara deadpanned as he slung her over his shoulder. "Where the 'wind' comes sweeping down the plain."

Earl picked up the grocery bag. "Oh, well I was close. Hey, you could teach me the words to that."

"Right, then we'll work on the tunes from 'Cats'." She offered as Marvin ushered them through the door and toward the open cargo box of the U-Haul.

The vampire motioned for Earl to dump her in. "Sit in there with her, after we leave you can either keep her back here or let her ride in front with you. Just don't let her get away."

"Where you going and who else is here?" She asked as the sound of a car starting in front of the cottage caught her attention.

"Since it's such a beautiful night, we're taking drive with our new friends to meet with an old friend." Marvin let his game face appear. "And Earl, as soon as you sense that it is safe to proceed without compromise, bring the U-Haul to the rendezvous point."

******

Kim swore creatively at the lighter. Bad enough that Rupert had won the argument and left her sitting at the cabin, but now her lighter had crapped out. "Lock the door, don't let anybody in. I can't go because I'm just as much of a target as Tamara." She pulled the door curtain back and curled her lip as she yelled at the absent Rupert. "No shit Sherlock, but so are you and that didn't stop you from taking off doing your big 'Conan The Librarian' thing!" Turning around she snapped at the equally gone Harvey, Laura and Michael. "Buttheads! Why did you have to go and back him up on this bullshit? Harvey! You could have went with him and I could have navigated Mike and Laura around these backroad goatpaths, but noooooo."

With a hiss she flung the lighter against the wall and went back to the door window to see if she could catch sight of Rupert across the road. Five minutes earlier she had seen him, slipping onto the wooded path toward the lake. "Oh God... be careful." She whispered with a catch in her throat, standing there for a moment as the curtain slipped out of her hand. "Damn lighter." She finally mumbled just to get her mind going a different direction. "That's okay, I got some matches in my cosmetic bag."

Less than a minute later she was bolting out the door, past the ringing cell phone with Rupert's note in her hand. She came to a screeching stop behind the van, opened the hatch and began to dig for his weapons.

"Right on time, I admire punctuality." Marvin said as Rupert came toward the beach.

Rupert checked around for the U-Haul. "Where is she?"

"First things first." Marvin said with a crook of his finger. "Take off your jacket and throw it to me, for I assume you have not come here unarmed." His eyes narrowed as Giles stood unmoving. "Do you want to go through with this exchange or not, Watcher?"

His face a mask, Rupert took off his jacket and tossed it into the sand at the vampire's feet. "You have me, now let her go. That is the deal."

Marvin picked up the jacket and curled his lip at the feel of two stakes and a wooden cross in the inner pockets. "As for your 'deal', all I can say is... fuck you Watcher."

"Let her go, or else."

"Or else what? You seem to think you hold the high cards, but I have all trump." The vampire made a motion calling his minions from their hiding places in the woods. "As your first and last warning we are going to beat the ever-loving shit out of you. And if you so dare as cross me again not only will you have to stake the redhead, but I will personally sire your brunette friend." He stopped and sniffed the air. "I stand corrected, I will sire your lover. Even though you have bathed you still smell of her. Maybe I will go pay her a visit while you are laying here bleeding."

Rupert's eyes darted toward a piece of driftwood laying on the beach, his only possible weapon.

Marvin waved his hand and began to walk away. "Take him, make him wish he was never born." And with a collective howl the four vampires attacked. Rupert made a dive for the driftwood but was tackled by Joey. As he struggled to break his legs free of the crushing hold Thomas and Patrick lunged forward to grab his arms. Don came forward and raised his fists to land the first punch but never had a chance as the short sword went through his neck.

"ACK!" Kimberly yelled as the dust poofed all around her. She dropped the sword and fumbled to get the holy water open. "How's this stuff work?!?"

"Get them in the face with it!" Giles shouted.

Patrick and Thomas quickly backed off as the pop of the cork coming out of the bottle could be heard. Joey unfortunately looked around and caught a splatter across his cheek. As the vampire screeched Rupert kicked himself free and yelled for Kim to bring him the bloody sword. She snatched up the weapon and came stumbling across the sand to his side. Rupert turned her around so they were back to back and scanned the empty beach.

"Were the hell did they go?" Kim panted.

"Hard to tell, back into the woods most likely. Or maybe into the water, it's not like they need air." He lowered his sword and took a few steps toward the woods. "Do you hear anything?"

Kim stared out at the lake trying to catch any noise that would betray the direction the vampires took. "I don't hear a damn thing. They're in a truck, right? Shouldn't we be hearing a truck?"

The sound of a car engine wafted through the trees sending Rupert off on a dead run. "Kimberly! Back to the road!" At his shout she took off on his heels through the woods coming out a minute later onto the deserted highway to see, absolutely nothing.

"That was a car." Kim said as she clutched a tree for support. "See any taillights?"

Rupert took an angry swing with his sword. "I don't see a damned thing! Not a dammed thing! They must have changed vehicles and now we don't have the first bastard idea of what to look for." He smacked the side of his blade into his palm as he came back to her. "And what in the hell were you thinking!? I told you explicitly to stay in the cabin! For God's sake Kimberly, don't you ever listen?! Do you realize the danger you put yourself in walking into that mess?!"

Kim pointed a finger toward herself and returned fire. "Don't I ever listen?! What about you, Einstein?! I told you that it was crazy to go out by yourself! Then I find this friggin' suicide note! Nobel as hell, I'll grant you that! It would make a three hankie move of the week but you would still be dead, or undead or someshitdead!"

"They were not going to kill me, just beat me half to death!" He shot back. "Anyway, Marvin refuses to deal so it's now a moot point."

"Fine, great, wonderful!" Kim snotted as she went back toward the cabin. "What a clusterfuck!"

Rupert let out a shuddering exhale and took one last look up and down the road. He caught up with her as she passed the van. "Kimberly." As she stopped he dropped the sword, wrapped his arms tightly around her and whispered. "Thank you." before pressing his lips onto hers.

"You're welcome." She murmured through the kiss as her hands traveled up and down his back.

The glare of headlights spotlit their embrace as Harvey fishtailed back into the lot. He came to a lurching stop beside them and flung the door open. "Son.. of... a... bitch!" He spit out each word and glared at them. "Now I see why you didn't answer the phone, and why you wanted us out of here! Goddamnit! Is this why you ain't looking too hard for Tam either?!"

"That was low!" Rupert growled.

"Hey! To hit low you gotta aim low!" He barked back.

"It's not what you think. Rupert went..." Kim started only to have Rupert silence her with a pained look accompanied by a soft hissing "shuuu".

Michael slammed his side door. "Explains why they hung around Detroit all night."

Rupert picked up his sword and wiped the dust off it and in a voice that was tinged with anger stated his position. "In reality it is none of your business but to clarify matters, yes we have slept together and yes, we will again. But this fact in no way interferes with, or lessens our desire to save Tamara."

"I never heard the phone. I... uh, I got spooked and went looking for Rupert. We got one vampire but the rest got away. Then we heard a car." Kim said quietly. "It's possible that Marvin's ditched the U-Haul."

"That's all we got?" Laura asked from the passenger seat.

"Yes, that and a 1,400 mile mad dash to Straight, Oklahoma." Rupert muttered as he rolled his shoulders. "I would suggest we get some sleep."

Michael grunted something about sleeping under his breath and went around to the back of their van. "Open this will you Harvey? I want to get my other shoes."

Laura joined her brother, sitting down on the back bumper. "Weird shit huh?"

"Yeah. And it's all their fault. And neither of them give a shit about Tam!" He said giving his head a nod toward Kim and Rupert as they went into the cabin.

Harvey slammed the driver door. "Maybe we should just do this on our own."

Michael tossed his hand into the air. "Sounds good to me."

Laura pointed to a piece of note paper laying half under Tamara's van. "Hey Harvey, looks like you dropped one of your trip notes."

"I don't think so." He said as he came over, picked it up and began to scan it. "Holy shit." He muttered then began to read it outloud. "Dearest Kimberly and Tamara. Without going into unnecessary detail all I shall tell you is that I have arranged a meeting with Marvin to offer myself..."

"Cripe." Laura said as he finished. "And I thought he looked all rumpled 'cause they had been rolling in the sand."

"This trip sucks." Michael muttered as he sat down beside Laura. He put his head into his hands. "Now what do we do?"