Part Six

"Go! GO! GO!!" Rupert screamed while waving his arms toward their vehicles.

Michael, Laura and Harvey did not need to be told, they were already making a mad dash toward their van. Laura swung around the front and came to a screeching stop with her hand on the driver's door. "OH SHIT!" She screeched. "Our tire's flat!"

Harvey came over on a dead run and knelt down to examine the damage. "It's been sliced!" He raised his head as Rupert's curses filled the air announcing that Tamara's van had also received the same treatment.

"Kim! I need the keys!" Giles yelled. He stopped and looked around... no Kim. "Kimberly!! KIMBERLY!!"

"Where'd she go?" Harvey asked nervously.

"Maybe an Elvis fan got her!" Michael yelled.

"Not funny!" Rupert shouted back. He took a few steps toward The Blue Suede Shoe. "KIMBERLY! WHERE ARE YOU!"

"I wasn't being funny!" Michael shouted back. "She did stake Elvis and I bet that could piss a lot of people off." He gulped and looked around the parking lot. "Maybe we should call the cops!"

"And tell them what? That our friend was taken by a U-Haul full of vampires and that the other one might have been nailed by fans of the undead Elvis?" Laura said with a voice approaching panic. "Oh yeah... that would work!"

Harvey opened the back of his van. "Someone help me get this crap out of here so we can get to the spare!"

"Don't you have keys?" Laura asked Giles while tossing suitcases to the ground.

Rupert stood there scanning the parking lot. "NO! Tamara had a set, Kim had a set.... oh dear God! KIMBERLY! WHERE ARE YOU?" He took off for the alley that led to the front of the nightclub.

Laura heaved the last of the baggage out. "You guys fix the tire, I'm going to help him look..."

Michael grabbed his sister by the arm. "You ain't going nowhere! We got to get this fixed and get out of here! We got to save Tamara!"

"He's right!" Harvey agreed tossing Laura the tire iron. "Let's move it!"

As Giles made his way down the dark alley he again called out his lost companion's name and this time he was rewarded with an answer.

"Yeah! Over here! Give me a hand will 'ya?"

Kim appeared at the far end of the alley silhouetted by a streetlight and motioning for Rupert to come to her. Giles froze for a split second as his training and all those years in the Hellmouth kicked in. His hand went to the stake in his pocket and a quiet plea formed on his lips. "Oh dear God, don't... please don't let her be turned."

"Hurry up Rup!" She called while dropping a sack at the end of the alley and again disappearing around the corner.

Giles edged closer.

She reappeared carrying the black velvet Elvis. "We lucked out, they left their van unlocked. Lookie what I got! The painting and their munchie stash." Kim nudged the sack with her foot. "Cheetos, Pringles, Tootsie Rolls and unfortunately diet Pepsi."

Rupert stared at Kimberly in disbelief. Her friend had been taken by creatures of the night, their van had been sabotaged for a second time and she had made a side trip to retrieve a painting and a bag of snacks? He raised his stake. "Show me your cross."

"Oh for crying out..."

"SHOW ME!"

Kim coolly sat the painting down and glared at him. Then with a deliberate slowness she dug the cross out from under her T-shirt and rubbed it between her fingers. "Happy?" She snotted. "What the hell is your problem?"

"Your sudden, cold blooded attitude had me concerned." He answered as he roughly jammed the stake back into his pocket. "I think the proper question is 'what the hell is wrong with 'you'!"

"So I was a merc in a former life." She answered with rising ire. "Listen up Rupert, we need this damn paint..."

"I beg to differ!" Giles interjected sharply and then pointed toward the back lot. "Now, if you don't mind would you please return to the van?"

Without a word Kim slid the sack of munchies toward Rupert, picked up the painting and went stomping back to their vehicle.

Harvey raised up from replacing the lug nuts to catch sight of Kim coming out of the alley. He blinked in shock as he realized what it was she was carrying. "What in the..."

Kim propped the painting up against Tamara's van and with a jab of the finger cut him off. "Don't you start in on me too or I'll have your ass as a hat!" She made a general motion toward everyone. "I got the friggin' painting 'cause WE need it..." Then she pointed to the various piles of vampire dust. "...and THEY don't! End of discussion!"

"You what!" Michael growled from beside Harvey.

"You heard her! She made a bloody detour for the sake of that horrid painting." Rupert snapped. "Now Kimberly, dear. Would you mind giving me the sodding keys!"

She none too gently tossed him the keys while sarcastically saying. "And 'thank you' for your support."

Michael left Harvey to finish attaching the tire, came around the van and went straight into Kim's face. "Christ! Are you nuts? Tam's been kidnapped and you went to get that piece of shit painting?"

"That's the ticket! Get over it!" She gave him a shove. "So back off Bozo!"

Michael came straight back into her space. "You ever do that again..." He threatened.

"I said, back... off... shithead!" Kim spit, each word accompanied with a poke of the finger into Michael's chest. "Tamara would have done the same thing if I would have been snatched!"

Michael took a slap at the finger. "LIKE HELL SHE WOULD!"

Kim jerked her hand back. "Bullshit! She'd a done it in a heartbeat! Now you wanna go schedule your cranial-anal-ectomey to get you head out of your ass?"

Laura came over and began to pull her brother away. "Come on! Let's get outta here!"

Kim blew him a kiss.

"Bitch." Michael hissed under his breath.

"Say what?" Kim hissed back.

"ENOUGH!!" Rupert yelled. He tossed his head toward the road. "Harvey... get moving. We will stay in contact by cell phone. Make sure you fill the tank... maybe we can catch up with them when they stop to refuel."

"Yeah, good idea." Harvey agreed as he threw the tools into the back of his van. "With that..."

"That seventeen foot U-Haul easy loading mover with New Mexico plates and the Manitoba super graphic of a bison." Kim barked.

The others just blinked.

Kim curled a lip toward Michael. "Gets about 11 miles to the gallon with a forty gallon tank, so at maximum they will go about 440 miles. Probably refuel after about 325, so start lookin' for 'em when you get an hour or so South of Bowling Green. Got that whipdick?"

Michael pried Laura's hand off his arm and took a step toward Kim. "You talking to me?"

"Only if you're the whipdick that called me a bitch." Kim said with a mock innocent batting of the eyes.

Harvey and Laura both grabbed Michael by an arm as he started toward Kim. Rupert swore and tossed a suitcase in such a way that it landed between the two antagonists, effectively breaking the confrontation. "Kim, don't just stand there... HELP ME!"

Harvey gave Rupert a nod and jerked his thumb toward his van. "We're outta here."

"Splendid." Giles answered then waited a few seconds until the other team got into their vehicle before turning his attention to Kim. "I would like an explanation please!"

"Ah... a friend of mine moves every time the windows need washed, so I'm an expert on 'yall-hauls and mileage."

Rupert's voice went to a growl. "I am 'not' amused."

Still steaming, Kim came over and pulled the hubcap off and gave it a fling. "Sorry I went off the deep end. He pissed me off gettin' in my face like that."

"I mean 'why' did you choose to 'abandon' the group at such a apocalyptic moment?"

" 'Cause we need the painting! I've told you that a dozen times!"

"And that takes precedence over saving your friend?" Giles stopped with the spare tire balanced on the bumper and tried to keep calm. "I have 'never' in my life seen such an aberrant philosophy coming from someone who I, up until now, considered a caring, meritorious human being."

Kim flinched as the reprimand cut into her. She let out a ragged exhale and returned Rupert's gaze before saying in a barely audible whisper. "It's just... we have to win."

"And that is all that is important to you? Lord! I find that the most insensitive, self centered..."

"Stuff it!" Kim snapped as her temper again flashed. "So I'm officially 'the Evil Bitch from Ohio' - what else is new?! Sorry about your luck comrade! Now let's get this tire changed and get the hell to Detroit!"

In an uncomfortable silence they replaced the tire and repacked the van. As Rupert put his hand on the hatch to close it, Kim broke the silence. "I am worried about her... and scared that something..."

With all his strength Rupert forcefully slammed the hatch. "I would suggest we wash up and use the facilities before leaving." He handed her the keys. "Get the thermos out of the front seat, if possible we will have it filled with coffee."

"Right." Kim agreed with a complete lack of emotion.

******

"There they are!" Nigel crowed as he pulled into the parking lot.

Patrick opened one eye. "Wonderful."

"There's Giles and the brunette." Nigel observed while easing into a far parking space and turning off the engine. "Wonder where the redhead is?"

"Probably in the pub. Some people have all the luck." Philip mumbled from the back seat. "Think they got hold of that damned cross yet?"

"I'm going to go find out." Nigel answered.

Patrick sat up straight and tried to stretch his stiff muscles. "I say 'ell with it. Let's just shoot him and get him out of the equation. Won't be any problem to buy the cross from whatever Yank finds it."

Nigel stopped with his hand on the door handle and considered the notion. "Really that is not a bad idea, for I also getting tired of this sodding adventure." He turned halfway around in his seat. "I only have one question. Does either of you have a problem with dealing with those two women in the same manner?"

"In for a penny." Philip said with a shrug. "But they were not part of the contract and it's bad business to work for free."

"Once we have the cross we can name our price. Those old wankers on the Council will have to pay whatever we demand or we'll just sell it off to the highest bidder, human or otherwise." Patrick countered.

"Then it's fine with me." Philip nodded in agreement as if the topic was where to stop for lunch, instead of cold-blooded murder.

"Then it's settled." Nigel said with a nod.

Philip pointed out the windshield. "Oh hell! They're leaving!"

Nigel turned back around and watched them head for the Blue Suede Shoe. "No problem, mate. I think they are just going back in to collect the redhead." He softly opened his door and made a motion to the others. "Now listen, as soon as they go in we will get into position. Patrick, you take out the brunette; Philip the other woman. I'll put a killshot into the original mark. Any questions?"

Patrick waved an index finger upward. "Just one. Can we stop and get something to eat anytime soon?"

Nigel smiled and slid out the driver door. "Certainly, as long as it does not come with those grubs, grates..."

"Grits, I think it was called grits." Patrick corrected as he got out of the car. "Whatever it is I'm sure....yipe." His foot slid almost out from under him as it came in contact with something slick on the pavement." What in the bloody 'ell is..... speaking of grits." The mercenary snotted as he bent down and picked up a handful of gritty ash and burnt sequins.

Philip curled a lip. "There you go again. Picking up and playing with unknown substances. Didn't you learn your lesson outside of Chernobyl?"

Nigel opened the trunk and moved their suitcases to the side, accessing the well which had held their long discarded spare tire. He opened a small metal case and took out three handguns and their respective silencers. "Get over here Patrick and prepare your weapon."

Patrick launched into an off key rendition of Auld Lang Syne. "Should old acquaintance be forgot.." He tossed the ash and sequins into the air directly over their heads. "...and never brought to mind."

"You jackass!" Nigel snarled as the gray grit floated down all over them.

Philip tried to brush himself off. "You got that shit all over me. And it sticks as well as it stinks."

"A thousand pardons." Patrick said very insincerely as he pulled his gun out, loaded it and attached the silencer.

"Take your positions." Nigel ordered, then giving Patrick a shove added. "And no more horseplay."

As the three mercenaries slid across the parking lot they were illuminated by the headlights of a long white limousine. The vehicle purred through the lot and came to a stop between them and team seventeen's van. Simultaneously three passenger and the driver doors opened and out stepped three very large men attired in dark tailored suits and sunglasses, and one short, plump woman wearing a late 1960's era hot pink pantsuit with matching high heels and purse. She reached up and patted her beehive hairdo to make sure every teased hair was in place and approached the three mercs.

"Well hello there boys. Did you enjoy the show?"

As one, Nigel, Patrick and Philip veered around her without answering.

One of the bodyguards cut them off. "Miss Diana asked you boys a question and it would be in 'yall's best interest to answer her."

The chauffeur came up behind them and added. "And 'yall want to be real polite when you do it."

Nigel blew out an exasperated puff of air and rolled his eyes heavenward. "Unfortunately we did not have the pleasure of experiencing the fine entertainment slated for this evening." He took a sidestep. "Now if you would be so kind as to excuse us.."

"Why that's truly a shame!" Diana said. She reached up and patted the second bodyguard on the shoulder. "Don't you think that's a shame there Johnny?"

"Yes Ma'am."

She brightened. "Well now don't you worry. I'm sure that our friend is in there doing one of his special shows. Now you boys come along. You can sit with us in the front row..."

"No... thank... you." Nigel grumbled as he tried to continue on his path. "We have to be on our way."

The bodyguard reached out and latched onto the back of Nigel's jacket. "Maybe you didn't hear..." He stopped speaking and released Nigel as a worried look crossed his face. He brought his hand up to his nose and inhaled the ash. "...OH NO!"

"What is it Eugene?" The chauffeur took a step toward Patrick, grabbed him by the lapels and pulled him close.

A tiny burnt sequin fluttered to the ground.

"ELVIS!" Lee screeched. "MISS DIANA!!! THEY STAKED THE KING!!"

"Oh my!" Diana wavered on her high heels and gracefully collapsed into Johnny's arms. "How am I going to break this to Priscilla and Lisa Marie?"

"You'll have to be strong, Ma'am." Johnny answered sadly. "Now you let me help you back to the car, then me and the boys will take care of these bad ol' King-stakin' humans." He patted her cheek. "Now you don't worry your pretty little head 'cause we'll go ahead and turn them real nice like. You know we could use three more janitors at Graceland."

"I would (sniff) like that. Thank you honey, but if it's not too much of a problem, could you please just bring me one of 'em? (sniff) I'm sorta... hungry."

"Anything you want Miss Diana." Johnny said as he opened the limo door for her.

"You're too kind."

As Lee morphed into vampire, Patrick made an undignified noise that some would find completely out of character for a heartless mercenary.

"Erk."

Lee sunk his fangs into Patrick's neck. The unlucky human's knees buckled and he fell to the ground. The vampire licked his lips and pulled Patrick up by the collar. " 'Yall feeling kinda peekish?"

"Every man for themselves!" Nigel ordered as he and Philip took off like greyhounds toward the alley with a fully vamped out Eugene hot on their heels.

"If that one's down, just stuff him in the limo. Miss Diana could use a libation." Johnny shouted as he raced by to join in the pursuit.

"You hear that?" Lee asked the semiconscious man. "Miss Diana wants you. Now talk about an honor. You know she's the one who sired The King back in 1972." As Patrick made whimpering noises in protest, Lee slung him over his shoulder and took him to the limo, tossing him onto the back floorboard like a sack of flour.

"Hang on for one minute, will you honey?" Diana cooed into the cell phone. She placed her hand over the mouthpiece and hissed at Lee. " 'Yall want to keep it down? Can't you see I'm on the phone to Priscilla? Now go get me those other two and be quick about it."

"Yes Ma'am."

Patrick's head spun as he struggled to remain conscious. His mind raced as he tried to remember his vampire 101. There was still hope. He had been bitten but not sired. From the seat above him Diana continued her conversation.

"I'm back. (sigh) Yes honey, I know... it's a damn shame." "But don't worry we'll get them. Johnny says we need some more janitors at Graceland.... Pardon?" She took a sip of her nerve calming, double shot bloody Mary. "Well, if you really want them as pool boys I'm sure we can accommodate."

Patrick felt a bit of strength return and worked his hand under his jacket for his gun. He knew it would not destroy this hot pink go-go vampress, but it might create enough of a diversion for him to escape, so taking a deep breath, he rolled over and fired.

The bullet missed Diana completely but made a direct hit on her bloody Mary sending all over the passenger compartment, shards of glass; a fountain of V8 juice and vodka and shredding that cute little pink paper umbrella with a hunk of celery impaled on its stick.

Which in turn ruined one perfectly good, dry clean only, hot pink, they don't make 'em like this anymore, polyester blend pantsuit. This caused one extremely upset vampress to drop her cell phone to the floor and screech as if she had been staked. Patrick took his chance and lurched up onto his knees. He opened the door and scrambled out of the limo. With a strength born of pure adrenaline, he stumbled across the lot and collapsed into his car. His hand went for the ignition and relief flooded him as he found that Nigel had left the keys. He fired up the engine and blew out of the lot, barely missing a V8 covered Diana.

The vampire raced back to the limo and peeled out after him leaving a trail of burning rubber all the way to the street.

Patrick's hands began to go numb and the lightheadedness returned with a vengeance. He knew that he had to either find someplace to hide; find his compatriots or get to a place where he could find help. The limo heaved up behind him, its motor screaming Miss Diana's intent to run ramshod straight over him. Patrick made a sharp right down a side street which bought him a few seconds as the limo missed the turn. He quickly turned right again into an alley a half a block down and sped down it knocking trash cans willy-nilly. The loss of blood began to overtake him and Patrick knew he had to get back to the nightclub and find Nigel and Patrick; he hit the brakes and turned into the cross alley which led back to the street he had initially been on.

But he was blocked by a parked seventeen foot U-Haul easy loading mover with New Mexico plates and the Manitoba super graphic of a bison.

******

Even though he was still angry beyond words at her, Rupert was still enough of a gentleman to open the door for Kim. She accepted the courtesy and went past him with a mumbled "Thanks."

The screeching of tires assaulted their ears as a white stretch limo roared over the curb and fishtailed into the street.

"Must be all you can eat night down at the fried chicken place." Kim observed in a pale attempt at humor.

"Let's go." Giles mumbled. "We should not have waited on them to brew coffee."

"You'll appreciate it four hours or so from now when you're hittin' the Kentucky line."

Rupert was silent until they got to the van. As Kim unlocked the door and handed him the keys he pulled the direction packet off the seat and scanned it. "This seems straightforward, for a change. Interstate 40 to 265 to 65 to 71."

Kim got in and looked at the dashboard clock. As Rupert entered the van she tapped it to get his attention. "Cripe... it's midnight. That means we'll be hitting Cincinnati dead on the eight o'clock rush hour. You better let me drive starting at about an hour South of Covington."

"Whatever. Get in the back. Go to sleep."

"I'm just saying that's about halfway to Detroit and it's also getting into my stomping ground."

Rupert's voice was icy. "We will change driving duty after six hours... now go to sleep."

"Great." Kim whispered under her breath as she crawled into the back. "He's pissed... the others are pissed...." Biting her lip she fought back a tear. "What the hell, everyone is so pissed." Curling up into the corner of the seat she momentarily watched the closed shops slip by before shutting her eyes in a vain attempt to sleep as Rupert drove them out of Memphis. "There they go." Marvin said with a smile as he saw the van pass the end of the alley. "Took them long enough to get on the road." He walked over to Joey, Don and Thomas who sat on the hood of a small rental car. "Are you finished?"

"Yep!" Joey answered while running his tongue over his disappearing fangs.

"We sired him." Thomas added. "Whoever nailed him the first time didn't finish the job." He patted the empty form of Patrick which lay on the hood between them. "He sure didn't have much luck tonight did he? Picks this alley to hide from a vampire in a limo."

Joey cocked his head to one side. "Are we going to keep him?"

"Yes... toss him in the back. We can use all the help we can get." Marvin replaced the mercenary's direction pack which brought them to Memphis back into the car. "And these treasure hunt people are a bonus, for our quarry will recognize them." He gave them a nod. "Thomas, you drive until dawn then we will let our lovesick friend take over."

Inside the U-Haul Earl had made it up to 9,219 BC. "So then I went to Mesopotamia for awhile... you know... well, guess you don't. It's kinda like... Albuquerque without the McDonalds."

Tamara pulled against her bindings as Earl continued to give her his life story.

"But you know what? Even though I've been around for 13,688 years, I've never heard anybody sing like you do." Earl leaned closer. "If I take off that gag will you sing for me?"

"Do NOT take off her gag!" Marvin ordered as he climbed in. Tamara forced herself to remain calm as two other vampires propped a body into one of the corners. "Ut ee oo eese." She garbled through the duct tape across her mouth.

"No... we are not letting you go." Marvin said calmly as he sat down beside Tamara. "First let me introduce myself and inform you of what is happening, I am Marvin and you are my insurance."

Tamara flinched as the slamming of the cargo door jolted the U-Haul. Earl lit a candle and placed it in the middle of the floor. Tam blinked at the sudden blackness and equally unexpected flash of light. She turned her head to find Marvin had now put on his full game face. With a whimper she scooted away from him.

"Hey! Don't go scaring her!" Earl protested.

Marvin laughed wickedly and decided to play a little. "What? Don't tell me you have forgiven her for betraying you this evening? You saw how she had her lips on the late great Bill and then trotted off to kiss that other man. Really Earl I thought you were more of a demon than to take that kind of..."

Earl plopped down between Tam and Marvin. "She just didn't know me very well! But it's all better now because I've been telling her all about me."

"Don't forget to mention how you have the ability to fart the William Tell Overture." Marvin said with a second laugh. "That always impresses the ladies."

"Yeah! You want to hear it?" Earl said with a hopeful grin.

Tamara shook her head.

Marvin picked at a fingernail and gave Earl a look of serious concern. "But what is really amazing to me, is that here sits a human that was part of the group that staked your Elvis. How could you forgive that?"

The demon's face showed his true nature as a yellow-orange light grew in his eyes. "Chickie here didn't do it. But I saw who did and I'm going to get her for it." The glow in his eyes intensified. "I'll get her good! I'll play Ping-Pong with her eyeballs; I'll feed her ears to my cat; I'll use her toes as dice; I'll... I'll..."

The vampire's delight in winding up Earl showed all over his face. "That's more like it! That's the Earalachumbq we all know and admire!" He said with glee. Marvin leaned over toward Tam and patted her on the knee. "Hope you weren't too attached to your friend."

Tam felt a cold chill.

The vampires settled down to rest and Earl calmed down to continue his relating of the last 13,688 years. Tamara's bound arms began to ache from the position they had been tied in and her back and backside felt every bump on the road. She eyed a sign posted on the wall - 'comfort ride suspension'. With as much of a curl of the lip that she could manage she dismissed this as false advertising. "Comfort ride... my ass."

Covertly she began to scan the surroundings and her captors. "Well let's see... I'm in a great big box on wheels.... so much for that. And besides Marvin and Earl there are two other vampires." She arched an eyebrow. "Okay.. those were the two that got vamped in Virginia along with Kevin and someone... err... 'something' has to be driving. And that new guy in the corner... he looked familiar too." She felt another shudder rise from within. "Shit.... is Marvin picking off the Treasure Hunt groups?"

Earl caught her motion. "Now Chickie, don't worry. The boss is going to let you go with me as soon as we get the cross."

The only thought that crossed Tam's mind was a vision of her in a Donna Reed outfit stirring up a pan of demon style hamburger helper in a suburb of hell. Then another idea popped into her head. "This yo-yo likes me. Maybe... just maybe." She worked up a pitiful look and tried to speak.

"Huh?" Earl cocked his head and grimaced. "Chickie I can't take that tape off."

Tamara batted her eyes.

With a sigh Earl relented. "You'll have to be good.... no screaming."

Tamara nodded.

"Okay then." The demon pulled the duct tape off her mouth.

With another bat she said quietly. "Thank you... I knew I could count on you."

Earl grinned ear to ear.

Tamara resisted the urge to spit.

******

Rupert checked his seatbelt... again.

"Relax"

He removed his glasses and rubbed his bloodshot eyes.

"Cripe Rupert... you've been up for over twenty-four, go on back and get some sleep."

"I'm fine.... oh my GOD! Kimberly! LOOK OUT!!"

Kim hit the brakes as they crested the final hill before the Ohio River and were greeted by the sight of brake lights as far as the eye could see. "Re-LAX damnit!" She snotted. "It's gonna be like this from here until we hit Exit 17 in Ohio. Then it will clear up a little bit until about 44, then it will be shitty until about mile marker 69." Kim lit a cigarette and took a deep drag. "After that we're cool until we hit Toledo. You know, the official motto of this area is 'you can't get there from here - and why in the hell would you want to'?" She turned on the radio and starting surfing the local stations for a traffic report.

"Accident on 75 Southbound at exit 3. You Northbound rubbernecks..."

"Great.." Kim mumbled. "... a million idiots just slowing down to gawk."

Rupert tapped his fingers on the glass. "Is there anyway around this sodding mess? You said you know this area."

"Sure, but it would take us more than five miles off the route."

As they inched forward a car length Kim checked the time and began to unconsciously calculate outloud. "It's oh-eight-hundred--nine... be there at ten... eighty-six miles at sixty-five with that stretch of double nickel... if we get out of this shit by.."

"What?"

Coming back to the business at hand Kim stuttered. "Ah... no.. nothing... just, just trying to figure time and mileage."

"I see." Rupert eyed her suspiciously as a feeling that something was going on intensified, especially since he had caught her on the phone an hour ago when they had stopped for fuel. "By the way, who did you call?"

"Say what?"

"I saw you hanging up the phone when I came out of the washroom."

Kim tightened her grip on the wheel and lied. "Christy.... I wanted her take on if I really am a total piece of shit."

Rupert neither confirmed or disputed the statement. With a faint wave of his hand he motioned toward the line of cars ahead of them. "We're moving again and I'm going to try and get some sleep." This said he crawled into the back and made himself as comfortable as possible.

******

"Then I found this bookie over between the brothels and the slave market that gave me hundred to one odds on Spartacus. It was only his second contest and he nearly got nailed the first time so nobody though he was worth anything."

"Really." Tamara interjected in pretend interest. She stared out the windshield at the unmoving line of cars and trucks that stretched as far as the eye could see. Her mind raced to form a plan. She was sure that was Rupert and Kim only about a mile ahead of them, just getting onto the bridge over the Ohio.

"But I knew he was a good one. I made a lot of money betting on the gladiators and could see a good one a mile off."

The U-Haul shook from the thumping that erupted from the cargo box. Earl shook his head. "Marvin's new minion must not be happy. Good thing the boss let you ride up here with me."

Tam shifted a bit, straining against the rope which held her fast to her seat. "Uh-huh. Hey Earl... you think you could untie me a little."

"Nope... no can do."

"But look at the traffic! What if we would have a wreck? I couldn't get out if something went wrong." She gave him her best pitiful look and sighed. "I would just have to sit here and burn."

With an enthusiastic nodding of the head, Earl proudly stated. "Chickie, you ain't got nothing to worry about. I'm the best driver in the underworld, never had an accident." He reached over and patted her on the knee. "This is normal 'cause Cincinnati is always awful. Anyway, we've moving again."

Tamara flinched at the touch and went to plan 'B'. "But I have to go to the bathroom."

"You just went at sunrise."

"But that was three hours ago. Please Earl... I'll be good. I'll just... just hop out the next time we stop and run over into the ditch."

"Nope. Tell you what, we'll find a cornfield for 'ya on the other side of Cincinnati." He smiled at her. "We're on our way now!"

With an exasperated exhale Tam settled back into the seat and listened to Earl resume the tale of his Roman adventures. As they picked up speed and crossed into Ohio she kept her eyes glued to that green and white van so close, yet, so far away.

"So when those wild and crazy barbarians showed up the first time.... YOU IDIOT!!!"

Tamara gasped as a blue Lexus came shooting off the entrance ramp and slid between their front bumper and the car ahead of them with barely an inch to spare.

Earl laid on the horn and shouted something in demonese.

"Whatever you said, I'll second it." Said the shaken human.

"Damn woman driver!"

"Watch it!" Tamara warned.

"I didn't mean you Chickie! You can zoom! This one... " Earl's voice faded to a grumble as the traffic again came to a dead stop. "This one needs a talkin' to!"

Christy stomped on the brakes as Interstate 75 turned into its usual impersonation of a parking lot. She picked up her coffee, took a sip and settled back only to be jarred by a noise which was reminiscent of fingernails on a blackboard.

Eeeeeeeeeeeee-screeeekk!

Slowly Christy turned her head to find a skinny man standing beside her driver window...

Eeeeeeeeeeeee-screeeekk!

....using his fingernail to make a deep scratch...

Eeeeeeeeeeeee-screeeekk!

.....the length of the window.

She fumbled for the door lock and her cell phone but stopped midmotion when she heard this man shout something that sounded like he was gargling roofing nails, then the window went down... all by itself. Earl stuck his head into her car and began to offer his opinion of her motoring skills.

"One car length per every ten miles per hour of speed! Did you miss that during driver's Ed? Did you ever take driver's Ed or did you just wake up one morning and decide to use that license you found in your Cracker Jacks?

"Ah..." She began then stopped as Earl's eyes lit up with a yellow-orange glow.

"If I was sure it wouldn't upset Chickie I'd toss you in back of my U-haul and let Marvin and the rest of the vampires snack on you!"

Christy's jaw dropped.

"I don't have time to mess with you this time 'cause Chickie might try something!" Earl warned with a shake of a finger. "But next time I won't be so nice! Just because you got a fancy car don't mean you own the road!" He cocked his head to one side and laughed at the human's shock. Then with a demon hiss he reached in and took her coffee from her hand. "Thanks, this will make us even!"

Christy sat there blinking as Earl went back to his truck. She twitched, looked in the rearview and twitched again before dialing her office.

"Good morning! Tri-State Psychiatric Center. This is Rita, how may I help you?"

"Rita. Chris. Cancel my appointments... I need some time off."

******

"Oh.... bloody... hell." Philip muttered. "They got him."

Nigel's eyes darted between the bloodstained steering wheel and the blood smeared hood of the car. "Looks like he tried to get away... poor bugger." He stood and rubbed his face for a moment then went around to the passenger door and got in. "Oh well... at least we found the car and incidentally, it's your turn to drive."

Philip sneered at the idea of hitting the road again. "So where are we off to this time?"

With a sarcastic shake of his head Nigel ripped open the direction pack. "Whatever or wherever it is I'm sure it's a treat.... let's see..." He read the directions and swore. "Splendid... we only have another 752 mile forced fucking march ahead of us to Detroit, Michigan."

Philip groaned. "And what fun and games await us there?"

Nigel read the clue. "Hell if I know... it's some sort of poem."

Detroit is your first destination, Seek not its present, but when it was new. For that just look at its foundation, Then you will understand this clue.

Then carry on to the Northern shore. Where the water is always cold, There find a bell before the door, And purchase what is sold.

Philip laid his head on the steering wheel. "Which means what?"

"Do I look like a psychic?" Nigel shot back as he dumped the rest of the material out of the envelope.

A cassette tape hit the seat between them. Philip picked it up and noted the label. "I think this is our clue.'

"What makes you think that?"

"Because there's a label on it that says - 'CLUE'." Philip stuck it into the tape player and the strains of a ballad filled the car.

The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down Of the big lake they called Gitchigumi The lake, it is said, never gives up her dead When the skies of November turn gloomy

With a load of iron ore twenty-six thousand tons more Than the Edmund Fitzgerald weighed empty. That good ship and crew was a bone to be chewed When the Gales of November came early.

The two mercs looked at each other in confusion. Philip started the car. "Well let's get moving."

Nigel rubbed his face. "Right... not like we don't have 752 Yank miles to figure this one out."

******

Lake Huron rolls, Superior sings In the rooms of her icewater mansion. Old Michigan steams like a young man's dreams; The isles and bays are for sportsmen.

And farther below Lake Ontario Takes in what Lake Erie can send her, And the iron boats go as the mariners all know With the Gales of November remembered.

In a musty old hall in Detroit they prayed, In the Maritime Sailors' Cathedral. The church bell chimed till it rang twenty-nine times For each man on the Edmund Fitzgerald.

Kim sang along softly as she pulled up a side street and parked behind an Ameritech service truck. She ran her hand back through her hair and steadied herself. "Well... here goes nothin'."

Even though she closed the driver's door as quietly as possible, the soft "click" awoke Giles from his restless sleep. Rupert sat up rubbing his face and looking around at the residential neighborhood. "Now what?" He muttered while bending over to retrieve his shoes.

"You're late!"

The barked words were accompanied by the slamming of the Ameritech truck's door. Rupert peered through the windshield, catching sight of a tall blonde man stomping up the porch steps of a house two doors down. Kimberly stood on the porch, keys in hand giving this man a faint smile. The conversation quickly deteriorated into arm waving and Kim harshly turned away from the man, unlocked the front door and went into the house.

Rupert sat there for a moment, biting his lip and considering his next move.

But his next move was made for him as the man came storming back out of the house, went straight up to the van and opened the side door. "So you're the one they picked up in the bar?! Where's that Tamara woman?! I want a straight answer or two here!"

"Ah....." Rupert's eyes darted between Jim's angry face and the wicked assortment of lineman tools hanging from the leather belt slung around his hips. "Ah... hello! Ah... Tamara is... is shopping for supplies."

Kimberly came out the front door. "Jim!"

"No kiddin'?" Jim answered sarcastically. " 'Cause my wayward wife just told me that you dropped Tamara off at Taco Bell."

Rupert gulped. "Ah... tacos are... supplies. We have to eat."

"Jim!" Kimberly now stood beside her husband. "It's allright... come on, tell me where the kids are. They aren't at the 'Y'... I just called."

"They're in Egypt." Jim answered without removing his glare from Rupert.

"Why are they at your Mom's?" Kim shot back. "I told you I would swing by to see them if I had a chance!"

Rupert's eyebrows shot straight up. "Egypt?!"

Kim turned her attention to Rupert with a three second explanation. "Yeah... it's about 40 miles up the road from here... on the other side of Russia... past Houston."

"Someone's gotta watch them since their mother bailed!" Jim sniped.

"I didn't 'bail'!" Kim said in a voice that was on the line between anger and hurt. "And your mom's... God! The last time they were there... just for one overnight, they dammed the creek and flooded the hayfield and it took a week to get the tractor out of...."

A faint smile crossed Jim's face. "Yeah... they did it good didn't they? Abe's going to be an engineer." His face darkened. "And his mother's going to be in the loony bin. Christy called and told me that you've went off the deep end."

"I'm not off the 'deep end'!"

"So I'm suppose to believe that there's really vampires in a U-Haul and..."

"Yes Sir, they are." Rupert interrupted. "And they have taken Tamara."

Kim froze and awaited the explosion.

Rupert braced himself for possibility of airborne wire strippers.

Jim stood looking back and forth at both of them for almost thirty seconds before he went around the van and opened the driver door. Without a word he reached down and popped the back hatch.

"What are you doing?" Kim asked nervously.

Jim went around to the back and began to remove her suitcases. "You're home, it's over."

"Mr. Linthicum...." Rupert began as he scrambled out of the van.

"Shutup! or I'll hang you from that one." Jim threatened with a toss of his head toward the closest utility pole.

"Jim! I can't stay! We have to save Tam and win this thing and get the Cross." Kim picked up a suitcase and started to replace it in the van. "Remember our deal? I'll win this thing and you let me come home."

"Deal's off, here's the new one. You stay... fine, then all is forgiven. You leave... you'll come back to papers being served on you."

"Sir! Do not put her in this position. I understand that it's hard to believe... but all you have heard is the truth and..."

"I told you to shutup!" Jim snapped at him. "This isn't any of your business."

Rupert's tone acquired an icy edge. "Kimberly, Tamara and I are a team and you are being totally unreasonable. That makes it my business."

Kim's voice was strangely calm even though the tears began to flow down her cheeks. "So you're reneging on the deal? You're telling me I either have to quit and hope Tam doesn't die or never see the kids again!"

Rupert turned away as the knot in his stomach tightened. Her action's from the night before began to make sense. "Oh dear God.... if she lost, she lost her marriage, her children and her home." He took a deep breath and the knot twisted even harder. And he had muddled up an already intolerable situation by heaping his own predicament ontop of the whole sodded mess.

"You'll see them on visiting day at the mental ward." Jim sniped. "So which is it? Like I said I talked to Christy and according to her you're displacing all those evil, dark, twisted stories you write for those......"

Kim was silent as she listened to the rant

"....depraved, dark, twisted people on those damned lists! She said that you no longer can differentiate reality from imagination." Jim finally paused for a moment and with a sharp nod of his head handed her a suitcase. "I forbid you to go."

Now Kim had heard enough. With a smile she took the suitcase from his hand and sat it down on the curb. "Just like you forbade me to go to Chicago and see the Andy Wharhol exhibit? Just like we spend every frickin' holiday in Egypt? Just like all three kids are named after you? Just like you always know best? Just like you make me account for every fucking nickel that is spent?"

"Watch your third shift mouth... woman.!"

Rupert saw it coming.

"Watch 'this'." Kimberly spit as she tossed the suitcase back into the van and made a pressroom style gesture. "And 'THIS'!"

"That's IT!!" Jim shouted as he whirled around and went back to his service truck.

"You got that right!" Kim shouted back at him while giving the suitcase a kick for emphasis. "And by the way, call Taylor, Taylor, Robinson and Pearson! Remember we called them the last time we had a hell of' a fight... they have good rates!"

"Kimberly... don't be rash!" Rupert said in a high pitched voice.

"I'm going to have you committed!" Jim shot back as he gunned the engine.

"FINE! I COULD USE SOME BASKET WEAVING LESSONS!" She ran up and smacked the back of the departing Ameritech truck. "AND AS LONG AS THEY DON'T PUT STRANGE SHIT IN THE GREEN JELLO... I CAN'T WAIT!"

Rupert felt sick. He let out a shuddering exhale and went up to Kim who stood shaking in the street.

"K-kimberly?"

"It'll be okay. It's been a long time coming." She answered softly. Her temper peaked again. "Do vampires hire out? 'Cause if they do...." Kim left the idea of her husband becoming a vamp snack hang midair and went back toward her house.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Rupert asked as he followed her up the steps and through the door.

"Tell you what? That I married a control freak? This isn't the first time he's used the kids or the appearance of marriage or his coming inheritance or whatever else the wind blew in to keep me in line." She turned to Rupert and shook her head. "The boys are old enough to understand, God knows they have seen enough fights in the past seventeen years." Kimberly stopped at the living room bookshelf and began to rummage around. "But it's over now and we gotta get moving."

"If you are sure." Rupert said sadly. "But..."

"There's no if, ands or buts about it." Kim interrupted as she handed him a pair of books. "Here it's in one of these two"

Rupert looked down at the tomes in his hands. " 'Great Lake Shipwrecks and Survivors' and 'The Gales of November'?"

"Yeah... our... 'my' youngest, Paul is heavy into shipwrecks. That clue sends us to what Lightfoot called 'The Maritime Sailors' Cathedral', but that ain't what it's really called." She stopped and wiped her nose. "It's in Detroit and if we have the real name and the address in advance we'll pick up some time on the others. Then it sounds like we have to hightail it up 75 to the Upper Peninsula all the way to the Shipwreck Museum at Whitefish Point."

"So... you are familiar with these places?"

"You got it Rup... I've vacationed up there." She took a sad look around the living room. "So let's go... we've wasted enough time and Lord knows how far up the road Tam is."

Rupert hesitated. "Are you sure about this?"

"Yeah Rup. I'm sure."