Buffy Misc. Character Quotes

Mayor Wilkins: There's more than one way to skin a cat. And I happen to know that factually that's true.

Cordelia: Everything has been taken away because Daddy made a little mistake on his taxes... for the last twelve years.

Forrest: This is the burden we bear, brother. We have a gig that would inevitably cause any girl living to think we are cool upon cool. Yet, we must Clark Kent our way through the dating scene, never to use our unfair advantage. Thank God we're pretty.

Cordelia: Great, now I'm gonna be stuck with serious thoughts all day.

Cordelia: I do what I want to do. And I wear what I want to wear. And you know what, I'll date whoever the hell I want to date... no matter how lame he is.

Principal Snyder: There are things I will not tolerate: students loitering on campus after school, horrible murders with hearts being removed. And also smoking.

Principal Snyder: A lot of educators tell students, "Think of your principal as your pal." I say, "Think of me as your judge, jury, and executioner."

Doctor: Buffy, you used to create these grand villains to battle against, and now what is it? Just ordinary students you went to high school with. No gods or monsters ... just three pathetic little men ... who like playing with toys.

Principal Snyder: It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.

Ethan Rayne: I've got to learn to just do the damage and leave town. It's the stay-'n'-gloat that gets me every time.

Anya: For a thousand years I wielded the power of the wish. I brought ruin upon the heads of unfaithful men; I offered destruction and chaos for the pleasure of the lower beings. I was feared and worshipped across the mortal globe and now I'm stuck at Sunnydale High. A mortal! A child! And I'm flunking math.

Cordelia: Well, evil just compounds evil, doesn't it? First, I'm sentenced to a computer tutorial on Saturday. Now I have to read some computer book. There are books on computers? Isn't the point of computers to replace books?

Oz: Sometimes when I'm sitting in class...you know, I'm not thinking about class 'cause that would never happen... I think about kissing you. And it's like everything stops, it's like, freeze frame: Willow kissage.

Oz: Looks dead, smells dead, yet it's moving around. That's interesting.

Oz: So I'm wondering, do the other cookie animals feel sort of ripped? Like, is the hippo going, "Hey, man, where are my pants? I have my hippo dignity." And you know, the monkey's just, "I mock you with my monkey pants!" And then there's a big coup in the zoo.

Mayor Wilkins: I have two words that are going to make all your troubles go away. "Miniature Golf."

Riley: When I'm around you Buffy I find myself needing to know the plural of apocalypse.

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