You're Welcome
(LA Apartment – Night)
(A dark room is lit only by red and white candles arranged on a table in a circle. A loud knocking on the door causes the tables to shake as it's beaten down from the outside. The door handle rattles as it falls to the floor. Angel, Fred, Wes, and Gunn are in the doorway with flashlights. They walk in and look around.)
Fred: (holding a glowing red handheld device and reading from its display screen) He's been here. Picking up loads of trace signatures.
(She walks forward without looking up from the device.)
Wesley: Fred. (shines his flashlight on the floor)
Fred: (continues moving forward without looking up) Hair follicles, enzymes, and something... blood... but it's not his, it's— (looks up from the display to see several bloody nuns on the floor with their throats slit) Oh, God.
Wesley: I think God is out at the moment.
Gunn: Why would Greenway do this? It was just a stupid racketeering charge. I told him we'd get him off with probation, so long as he shut down operations.
(Wesley shines his flashlight around the room, inspecting the scene.)
Angel: He's a Wolfram & Hart client. Our client. Oh, and he's evil. What are the odds?
Fred: What do we do now?
Angel: Now? I find Greenway, and I kill every inch of him.
Wesley: (walks forward to investigate the altar) You won't. 5 holy women. This wasn't random. It's ritual. He's jumped dimensions.
Angel: What?
Wesley: Also, not shockingly, our client practices black arts. He's escaped through a pan-dimensional doorway, disappeared into any one of infinite universes.
Angel: Fred?
Fred: My equipment's not calibrated to track anything out of this dimension. Even if such a thing is possible, it would take months or maybe years—
Angel: (throws up his hands) That's it.
Fred: But probably months, or maybe weeks if I really push—
Angel: (backs up toward the door) I can't do this anymore.
Gunn: Do what?
Angel: Any of this. Living with it. Running Wolfram & Hart. (throws up his hands) I quit.
(He leaves)
(Hospital)
(The camera proceeds down a long hospital corridor and turns to enter a room.)
(Flash of the symbols painted on the door of Eve’s apartment. Flash of the symbols on Lindsey’s chest. Flash of Angel in pain.)
(Inside the hospital room, Cordelia gasps as she is thrust into consciousness by a vision.)
(W&H – Angel’s Office – Day)
(Angel's sitting on the edge of his desk talking to Fred, Gunn, Wesley and Lorne.)
Angel: There's nothing more to discuss. I'm resigning.
Lorne: Gee, it seems like a ripe topic for discussion to me.
Wesley: What happened last night was tragic. It's a terrible setback, but—
Angel: (stands, walks around to his desk chair) Setback, Wes? It's status quo. Evil wins, 'cause instead of just wiping it out, we negotiate with it. Or worse...for it.
Fred: Angel, we're doing the best we can.
Angel: It's not that you guys aren't doing your jobs. It's that we shouldn't be doing these jobs in the first place... or I shouldn't.
Gunn: I'd say we've all had a bellyful. Any thought about what would happen to us if we tried to say bye-bye? The ramifications, I mean. You think the senior partners are just gonna let us breeze on out the front door?
Fred: You're saying we're trapped here?
Gunn: I'm saying we knew what we were getting into when we signed up for this gig. Let's not start pretending that this was some lease with an option to buy.
Angel: Gunn, you really think they won't let us out? Or is it that you just don't want to leave?
Gunn: (looks to his side, then looks at Angel, raising his eyebrows) OK. Maybe I don't. It's 'cause I believe in what we're doing. We made the right call.
Angel: And I'm sure that legal brain upgrade they gave you has got nothing to do with—
Gunn: We all got something out of this.
(The telephone rings. Angel picks up the phone.)
Angel: Yeah. It's Angel. (sits forward) What?
Wesley: What is it?
(Angel tilts the phone receiver away from his mouth to answer Wesley.)
Angel: It's Cordelia.
(Hospital)
(Angel and Wesley walk into Cordelia's hospital room and see a woman lying on the bed under a pink blanket. Her face is obscured by a privacy curtain, but they can see she's still and attached to a the hospital machinery. Wesley and Angel hesitate to approach her.)
Angel: Cordelia?
(Cordelia walks out from the bathroom in a hospital gown.)
Cordelia: Yeah. (walks around the girl's bed) That chick's in rough shape. (draws the privacy curtain closed) You'd think they'd give miss one-foot-in-the- grave a private room... which brings me to, hey... couldn't you stick me someplace that smells a little less like ammonia-soaked death?
(Angel grabs her up into a hug.)
Angel: Cordy.
Cordelia: Yeah. It's me.
(Angel steps back so Wesley can hug her; Cordy laughs.)
Wesley: (smiling, giddy) It's extraordinary. You're— you look... I don't want to say really hot—
Cordelia: Oh, yes, you do. (touches her shoulders and smiles heavenward) I'm a vision of hotliness, and how weird is that? (laughs) Mystical comas. You know, if you can stand the horror of a higher power hijacking your mind and body so that it can give birth to itself, I really recommend 'em.
Angel: You remember?
Cordelia: Last year? Yeah. I remember everything... pretty much. At least until I slipped into slumberland. Maternal instincts aside, I hope you kicked its ass for me. (Angel says nothing but shoots an awkward glance at Wesley, who doesn't react.) Is everybody all right?
Angel: Yeah. Uh...great. We're all—
Wesley: (smiling) Yes. Super.
Angel: (nods) Super. Yes. Super. Hey, why don't we get you out of here?
Cordelia: Ooh! I love that plan. I hope you brought me some clothes, 'cause... (looks at her hospital gown, then shakes her head) damn.
Angel: (stammering) Oh, well, we—
Wesley: We could stop and buy some.
Cordelia: (squealing and clapping cheerfully) Ooh! Great! Shopping! I love that idea, 'cause, you know, I'm not so ready to go back to the hotel yet.
(As Cordelia heads out the door Angel and Wesley look at each other and smile.)
Angel: Not a problem.
(W&H – Lobby)
(The elevator doors open, and Angel and Wesley step out, but Cordelia doesn't follow.)
Cordelia: (shrugs) I can't.
Angel: It's OK. (Cordelia sighs, steps off the elevator into the lobby, and looks around skeptically) See? It's just an office. Going about its day. Nothing scary popping out at you. Just regular people—
(Cordelia gasps as she turns and sees Sebassis's pale, emaciated, horned slave looking at her as he's led through the lobby on a chain.)
Lawyer: (talking to one of Sebassis's cronies) Yeah, I found the scamp hiding in one of the copiers, you know? Living on nothing but toner fluid. Can you beat that? The slave, I mean. I mean, I assume the Archduke's gonna beat him and all that.
Angel: (turns to Cordelia, panicked; steps between her and the slave) That's—ha—nothing. Hey, do you wanna see my office?
Cordelia: (nervously, watching the slave be led away) Yeah.
(Angel’s Office)
(Angel leads Cordelia into his office.)
Cordelia: Lorne!
Lorne: Are you huggable? (hugs Cordelia)
Cordelia: It is so good to see— (looks over Lorne's shoulder, sees Gunn) Oh, my God. Gunn? You have hair.
Gunn: Oh—ha—yeah. What did you think? I was prematurely bald? (Cordelia says nothing.) I wasn't. (hugs Cordelia)
(Cordelia laughs. Fred taps Gunn on the shoulder. He steps back so Fred can hug Cordelia too.)
Cordelia: Oh! Hey, Fred.
Fred: Hi, Cordy. (they hug)
Cordelia: (laughs) So, where's Connor?
Gunn: (casually) Who?
Cordelia: What do you mean, who? Connor. Isn't he— (to Angel) Angel, where's your s—
(Harmony interrupts with a shriek as she runs into the room.)
Harmony: Aah! Oh, my God! (runs up to Cordy and hugs her tightly around the neck) I can't believe you're here! (hugs Cordy again)
Cordelia: (annoyed) Likewise. Especially since the last time I saw you, you tried to kill me.
Angel: Um, Harmony, she's— actually, she... she's my secretary.
Cordelia: Oh. Well, things just keep getting better and better.
Harmony: (smiling excitedly) I know. You and me together again. So, how was the coma?
(Cordelia rolls her eyes.)
Angel: Uh, Harmony, I think Cordy's had enough excitement for the day. Why don't you— Why doesn't everybody get back to work?
Gunn: (waves) Great to see you. (exits)
Fred: Bye. exits)
Harmony: (whispers) We'll talk later. (exits)
Lorne: (hovering at the door) Hey, listen, crumbcake, when you're ready to splash back into that acting pool, just say the word. I'll have you lunching with Colin Farrell like that. (exits)
Cordelia: Who's Colin Farrell?
Angel: Cordy, I know there's a lot to take in, a lot of changes, but I promise you... things here are working out.
Cordelia: Really?
Angel: Well, yeah. With these resources, there's nothing we can't do, no one we can't save. (sits on the back of a chair)
Cordelia: Except maybe yourself.
Angel: What?
Cordelia: (walks toward Angel) I had a vision... from the you-know-what that be. That's what woke me up. (pacing) And you know something? When higher powers send you coma visions, you'd better pay attention.
Angel: What did you see?
Cordelia: You. In trouble. (pacing) Also, these weird symbols. Glyphs, I guess. On a wall... and on flesh. A tattoo, and… (stops pacing; stares at Angel) There's a woman behind you.
Angel: You saw a woman in your vision?
Cordelia: No, lunkhead, right now. (motions with her eyes) Behind you.
(Angel turns to look behind him to see Eve stepping out of his personal elevator. Eve motions to the elevator as its doors close behind her.)
Eve: You weren't home upstairs. Didn't think you'd mind me using your private elevator.
Angel: Eve, I mind you breathing. Get out.
Eve: (walks around behind his desk toward Cordelia) Yeah, sure. Except I'm here to convey the partners concern. A little issue of you letting a client skip out of our dimension. Dead nuns we can deal with, but the firm's out 10 million in bail costs. (to Cordelia) I ask you, is that any way to run a business? (to Angel) Who's your friend, Angel?
Cordelia: (glaring at Eve) I'm Cordelia Chase.
Eve: Oh. My name is—
Cordelia: (cocks her head) I didn't ask.
(She walks toward Angel; stands beside him.)
Eve: Right. Cordelia Chase. Oh, yeah. Angel talked a lot about you...at first.
Angel: I thought I told security not to let you in this building.
Eve: Sweetie, I'm liaison to the senior partners. You honestly think you have any control over my comings and goings? (sits on the couch) Well, maybe not my goings, but you did have a way with my comings at the Halloween party.
Cordelia: (rolls her eyes) So you two are groin buddies? (looks at Angel) And I thought Darla was rock bottom.
Angel: We're not. (sighs) Just...once. There were special circumstances. Lorne told us to, but mystically.
Eve: (stands) We'll talk business later, big guy. I'll let you two catch up. (walks to the door)
(Lobby)
(Angel follows Eve out into the lobby.)
Angel: And I'll let you walk out of here with your head still attached to your body. (to Harmony) Harmony, I want security keeping tabs on eve while she's in the building.
Harmony: Got it, bossy.
Cordelia: (standing in Angel's doorway) That's the kind of person you do business with now? Angel, do you realize what's happening? You've made a deal with the devil.
Angel: (shrugs, shakes her off) Oh, come on, Cordy. You're being a little overdramatic. It's not that, uh—
(A red-skinned demon with black hair, horns and a goatee walks up to Angel wearing a suit and holding a briefcase.)
Devil: I gotta go. (offers his hand to Angel) Everything's in place. They'll draw up the paperwork.
Angel: (shakes the Devil's hand) Good. Great.
Devil: (walks toward the elevator, but turns back to Angel) Racquetball Thursday?
Angel: (nods) OK, then.
Cordelia: (rolls her eyes, sighs) Ohh. (walks back into Angel's office)
Angel: What did I do?
(Spike’s Apartment)
(Spike's sitting on his couch playing a video game in the dark.)
Spike: You made the biggest mistake of your life, and I'm gonna make you pay. Oh, yeah. (punches video game control buttons) Feel my wrath, gorilla throwing barrels. (his game makes a losing sound) Bloody hell. (sighs, continues pressing buttons) Really should knock on a bloke's door... especially one that's got no qualms about killing trespassers.
(Widen the camera angle to reveal Lindsey is standing in Spike's doorway.)
Lindsey: (walks in) Come on. (sits on the couch beside Spike) Is that any way to talk to your benefactor? Just a little concerned about you. You haven't been out in the field lately.
Spike: In case you haven't been keeping up with the sports pages, I got my bloody hands hacked off by that deranged slayer you sent me after. (points at Lindsey)
Lindsey: Yeah, I'm sorry about that, but, hey, your good old buddies at Wolfram & Hart managed to reattach them just fine, huh? You can sit around here and play video games.
Spike: Rehab, mate. Working out the digits. (wiggles his fingers in Lindsey’s face; puts down controls; walks toward refrigerator) You got no idea how rotten this feels.
Lindsey: (laughs) Amazingly enough, I do. Yeah. Got my hand cut off a few years back. Line of duty. So believe me when I tell you, I can feel your pain.
Spike: (grabs a beer from the refrigerator) Well, half of it, anyway. I'll give you that. (opens the beer)
Lindsey: Don't forget you got a job to do. (Spike sits back on the couch, sips his beer) The powers that be are counting on their champion. (Spike starts playing the game again) So are all the other helpless people—
Spike: I don't need a pep talk, Doyle. I already plan on going out. You just get one of your visions to tell me when and where.
Lindsey: That's what I like— (cell phone rings) That's what I like to hear. (stands, walks a few feet away; talks on the cell phone) Yeah.
Eve: (on phone) We've got a big problem.
Lindsey: Can this wait?
(W&H)
Eve: (into phone) Kinda not. Cordelia Chase is awake.
(Spike’s Apartment)
Lindsey: (into phone) Really.
(W&H)
Eve: (into phone) She's talking about some vision she had. Steering Angel right toward you.
(Spike’s Apartment)
Spike: (pressing the video game controls frantically) Come on! You stupid plumber!
(He throws the controls down and starts rattling the TV and game box.)
Lindsey: (to Eve) Well, now... I guess this calls for a change of plans.
(W&H – Angel’s Apartment)
(Angel walks off of his private elevator into his apartment. From the other room, he hears Doyle (from Angel Season 1). Cordelia is sitting on the edge of the bed watching the tape of a promotional spot she and Doyle made in the early days of Angel Investigations.)
(Video)
Doyle: If you need help, "then look no further. Angel investigations is the best. Our rats are low—"
Cordelia: (os) Rates.
Doyle: It says rats. "Our rates are low, but our standards are high. When the chips are down, and you're at the end of your rope, you need someone that you can count on, and that's what you'll find here, someone who will go all the way, who'll protect you no matter what. So don't lose hope."
(Angel’s Apartment)
Cordelia: (pauses video) Sorry. I was snooping. I found this.
Angel: No, it's—it's OK. I just... You couldn't sleep?
Cordelia: Oh. No sleep for me. I slept enough for one lifetime.
Angel: (looks at the television, sits beside Cordelia) Been a long while since I've seen that.
Cordelia: The first soldier down.
Angel: (sighs) Yeah.
Cordelia: Doyle pissed me off so righteously going out like that, but he knew. He knew what he had to do. Didn't compromise. Used his last breath to make sure you'd keep fighting. I get that now.
Angel: Cordy...there are reasons I agreed to take over Wolfram & Hart, reasons you don't understand.
Cordelia: (stands, indignant) I understand just fine. (walks around the apartment, gesturing) They seduced you with all their fancy facilities, manpower. They threw a whole bunch of money at you, plied you with all these expensive toys and penthouses with spectacular views, and—(looks out his window, admiring the view) really spectacular. (to Angel) What was I saying?
Angel: I've been seduced.
Cordelia: That's right, pal. They dazzled you with shiny objects and beautiful things and— There is no reason you could give me—
Angel: Connor.
Cordelia: Where is Connor? Why did Gunn ask—
Angel: (walks into the living room) They don't remember him. It's part of my agreement to take this job. The senior partners altered reality. They gave Connor a life, a real family, and a childhood. Something I could never give him. He's got no memories of us. And no one remembers him. (sits on a chair arm) Except me and you. And Eve, for some reason.
Cordelia: So, not only did you strike a deal with your worst enemy to give up your son, you let them rape the memories of your friends who trust you?
Angel: He was about to kill you. And himself. He was so torn up. I didn't have any other way to stop him, any way to help him. Connor's happy now. (stands) And...we're doing fine here. (paces) I mean, we've done some great work here.
Cordelia: Don't give me that, "everything's fine here" company line. I'm not buying it. Neither are you. And neither are the Powers That Be. Why do you think they woke me up, gave me that vision? They know you slipped the track, and they want me to help put you back on it.
Angel: You're wrong about the Powers. They're not in my corner anymore. (rolls his eyes) It looks like Spike is their new champion.
Cordelia: Spike? Spike who?
Angel: Spike. He's got a soul now. And he saved the world. And he's out there on the streets. You know, helping the...helpless.
Cordelia: OK, Spike's a hero, and you're C.E.O. of Hell, Incorporated. (holds up her hands) What freakin' bizarro world did I wake up in?
Angel: (sits, hangs his head) I'm sorry.
Cordelia: I naturally assumed you'd be lost without me, but this?
Angel: I am lost without you.
Cordelia: You just forgot who you are.
Angel: Remind me.
Cordelia: Uh, no. That's for you to figure out, bubba. I can tell you who you were. A guy who always fought his hardest for what was right, even when he couldn't remember why. Even when he was miserable, which was, let's face it, a not small portion of the time. He did right. And that gave him something. A light, a glimmer. And that's the guy I fell in— (stops herself; looks down trying to rephrase) That’s, um... the guy I knew. (sits in a chair across from Angel) I see him around here, then maybe I'll start believing.
Angel: Let me know if you do.
Cordelia: Do you ever wonder... Do you ever think about if we'd met up that night and had a chance to—
Angel: All the time.
Cordelia: (looks down) Guess we missed our moment, huh?
Angel: Maybe we were meant to. Or maybe people like us just don't get to...have that.
Cordelia: Angel, there are no people like us.
(Eve’s Apartment – Patio – Night)
(Eve and Lindsey are sitting together in a chaise lounge patio chair naked, wrapped in a blanket, under the open night sky. Eve is resting her head on his chest while he strokes her hair.)
Eve: You're not worried at all?
Lindsey: She's awake. That means the powers that be are getting nervous. Taking an interest. Higher stakes. That likes me fine. Not sitting at the $5 table anymore. (kisses her forehead)
Eve: You know the house always wins.
Lindsey: So the question becomes whose house are we in? The senior partners gave that eurotrash vampire everything I've worked for. I couldn't let that slide. They didn't see me coming. Maybe they're getting too old for this.
Eve: (looks up at Lindsey) It all comes back to Angel, doesn't it? He's still the center of your universe.
Lindsey: No, baby. (touches her neck) You are. (kisses her lips)
(W&H – Wesley’s Office – Day)
(Cordelia is sitting at Wesley's desk reading through volumes of text. Wesley is pacing the room, also reading. The desk is covered with dozens of thick, old books.)
Cordelia: (stops reading, looks up) Remember how I said, "Let's not have your department looking for those symbols I saw in my vision. Let's do this like we used to, you and me cracking the books"?
Wesley: Yes.
Cordelia: Well, that was dumb. What'd you ever listen to me for?
Wesley: I don't know. I think I sort of missed this. You and me and the books, (speaking in a "hip" manner) kicking it old school, as they say. (winces, shakes his head) And I never will again.
Cordelia: (chuckles) Wes? (stands, walks up to Wesley) Last year, when that, um, higher...whatever took over my body, did those things. Nobody's talking about it. (smiles nervously, looks at Wesley, concerned)
Wesley: (sits, looks at Cordelia) What's to say? We all understand it wasn't you.
Cordelia: Do you?
Wesley: You didn't kill Lilah.
Cordelia: I know. Still... I'm sorry. (sits on the edge of Wesley's desk) I just wanted to tell you that before— (catches a book that's about to fall) Hey! That's them. (shows Wesley the book, already opened to an appropriate page) Those. The tats. Look. (holds up a sketch pad where she drew the symbols from her vision to compare to the book)
Wesley: Protection runes derived from the Enochian alphabet. The ones from your vision are symbols, some kind of concealment spell. "Clouds before the all-seeing eyes."
Cordelia: Mmm. OK. This part I didn't miss. Cryptic poetry. (sits at the desk)
Wesley: They protect the bearer from being viewed remotely from higher powers, seers, mystics. Or, transposed to today, any means of modern surveillance.
Cordelia: Somebody really wants to stay hidden.
(Basement)
(Lindsey walks down a corridor in the basement of Wolfram & Hart. He stops at a door marked "Maintenance: Restricted Access", swipes a keycard in a reader to unlock it, and walks through the door, closing it behind him. Lindsey walks down a staircase and finds himself facing a net of green laser beams. He walks right through them without incident. Once past them, he looks up into the security camera and waves "hello".)
(Security Office)
(The guards monitor numerous video screens from security cameras across the building. Lindsey doesn't show up on the monitor showing the basement room.)
(Basement)
(Lindsey continues walking. A demon in a white lab coat is pressing buttons on a handheld electronic device when he's stabbed from behind. The demon falls to the ground with a grunt, blood oozing from his mouth, revealing Lindsey standing behind him. Lindsey takes out his pocketknife and cuts the cord holding a crystal around the demon's neck and takes the crystal. Lindsey kicks the demon off the platform he's standing on.)
(Hallway)
(Cordelia is walking down the hallway.)
Cordelia: This place is like a rat maze. (scoffs as a lawyer passes her in the hall) Complete with rats. (shrugs, seemingly lost; turns around to see Spike walking toward her) Spike. (smiles, laughs) Well, well. I heard you weren't evil anymore, which kind of makes the hair silly. (Spike changes into vampire facade) Or nice? (Spike walks purposefully toward Cordelia) Aah! Aah! (Spike grabs Cordelia and bites her neck; Cordy screams) Aah!
(Spike steps back voluntarily from biting Cordelia's neck, but moments later, he's charged by Angel, who knocks him to the ground. Angel punches Spike in the face, and Spike responds with a kick to Angel's chest.)
Spike: (puts Angel in a headlock) You took me on and lost, remember, old man?
Angel: Touch Cordelia again... (breaks free of Spike's grip, lifts Spike into the air and throws Spike to the ground) get ready for our very last rematch.
Spike: (getting to his feet) She's evil, you gourmeless tit.
Cordelia: (holding her neck, indignant) Excuse me? Who bit whom?
Angel: Did you call me a tit?
Cordelia: I thought he had a soul.
Spike: (points at Cordelia) I thought she didn't.
Cordelia: I do.
Spike: So do I.
Cordelia: Well, clearly, mine's better.
Spike: (steps toward Cordelia) Look—
Angel: (grabs Spike by the lapels and throws his back into the wall) I see fangs, I'm gonna play dentist.
Cordelia: And you called this guy the big hero?
Spike: (to Angel) You called me a hero?
Angel: I didn't know you were eating people.
(Spike headbutts Angel, sending them apart, both reeling and holding their foreheads in pain.)
Spike: Ow! God. It was a taste test, you git. I needed to know if what my source said is true. (to Cordelia) And, actually, well, you don't taste evil. Demons are more...astringent with a sort of oakie, really—
Angel: What source?
Spike: I've got a guy. Has an in with the powers that whatsit. Gets these visions.
(Angel and Cordelia look at each other.)
Angel: Visions?
Spike: Yeah. Said Cordelia was taken over by some big bad. Came to destroy you all.
Cordelia: (rolls her eyes) His vision's a rerun.
Angel: The thing that possessed Cordy's long dead, Spike.
Spike: Well, looks like tattoo boy was wrong this time.
Cordelia: Wait. (raises her eyebrows) Tattoos? What kind of tattoos?
Spike: I don't know. Symbols. Tribal-like.
Angel: This guy with the visions, did he have a name?
Spike: Called himself Doyle.
(Angel and Cordelia freeze, staring incredulously at Spike. Meanwhile, down the hall, Eve is watching them talk, talking on her cell phone.)
Eve: No, he didn't kill her. She's still alive. (walks out of view) Now they're talking. A lot.
(Basement)
Lindsey: (into phone) Hey, it was a long shot. Listen, babe, I'm almost there, all right? So get out of the building. Right now.
(Hallway)
(Eve hangs up the cell phone, and when she looks up, Angel and Cordelia are standing right in front of her, smiling knowingly.)
Angel: Can we have a word with you, Eve?
Eve: Now's really not a good time.
Cordelia: (grabs Eve by the ear) Let's go, Lilah junior.
(She escorts Eve into Angel's office.)
(Angel’s Office)
(Cordelia throws Eve into a chair. Eve's surrounded by Gunn, Angel, Cordelia, Lorne, Fred, and Wesley. Spike's sitting near the window.)
Angel: We've got a problem, Eve.
Eve: Damn right, you do. When I tell the partners you assaulted me—
Angel: (pacing) A couple weeks ago, a man approached Spike. Told him that the powers that be have some missions for him. Spike, braintrust that he is, went along with it.
Spike: (insulted) Hey.
Angel: (standing in front of Eve now) He's the one who told Spike to save me from the parasite. The parasite you put on me in the first place.
Eve: Not this again. (starts to stand)
Cordelia: (steps in front of Eve) Get out of that chair and I will feed you those Manolo Blahniks. (looks at Eve's shoes) Which are stunning, by the way. (smirks)
Angel: Seems to me like you and this guy are working together.
Eve: (sits) Look, I don't know what you're talking about. But you can't keep me here. I have to leave.
Angel: But the thing that really, really pisses me off is that this guy seems to be going by the name of Doyle.
Eve: Doesn't ring a bell.
Cordelia: (walks closer to Eve) It does to me. (yelling in Eve's face) It rings a big fricking gong! (pointing) And I wanna know who has the nerve to be using that name.
(Angel pulls Cordelia back.)
Angel: I'm gonna give you one chance to tell me where he is.
Eve: Look, I don't know what—
Harmony: (opens the door, walks in) Excuse me, boss?
Angel: Not now, Harmony.
Harmony: OK, but do I get the afternoon off, too?
Angel: What are you talking about?
Harmony: Everybody's gone. The whole building cleared out a few minutes ago.
Angel: What's going on, Eve?
(Basement Chamber)
(Lindsey has entered a futuristic-looking round chamber with blue fluorescent lights and white walls. At the center is a round submerged underground holding tank and attached to it are some computerized and mechanical controls. Lindsey triggers the lights to come on and the control panel to light up. A tube has come up out of the panel, and Lindsey removes the demon's crystal from his pocket to place it inside the tube, where it's a perfect fit. An iris closes over the crystal, closing the crystal inside the tube. The tube recesses into the panel, and a timer starts increasing in seconds. Steam vents from the center of the room, and the bars that held the underground tank submerged retract.)
Lindsey: Wakey, wakey.
(Angel’s Office)
(Gunn comes back into Angel's office.)
Gunn: I checked the server. A message went out. Code 7, right before the building emptied.
Angel: What's a code 7, Eve?
Eve: I don't know. (Cordelia glares at her) Seriously.
Cordelia: OK, this is getting us nowhere. Angel, torture her.
Angel: (confused) What?
Eve: (panicked) What?
Cordelia: You heard me. Building clearing out means we don't have a lot of time. Have at it.
Angel: I can't just... torture her.
Fred: He's right, Cordy. If we sink to their level—
(From out of nowhere, Harmony tackles Eve, knocking her into Angel's desk with a primal grunt.)
Angel: Harmony!
(Harmony stands up and grabs Eve by the neck.)
Harmony: (to Angel) Is this OK? (shrugs) I mean, I am evil, technically. I don't mind torturing her for the team.
Angel: Yeah. OK.
Harmony: (punches Eve in the face) Come on, you hussy! (backhands Eve across the face) Spill it!
Eve: OK. OK. Stop. It's a fail-safe. They built a fail-safe—
(Harmony punches Eve in the face again, harder this time. Angel cocks his head and puts his hands on his hips.)
Angel: Harmony, she's talking.
Harmony: She is? Already? Well, that sucks. (lets go of Eve)
Eve: (panting) Look, the senior partners were never certain they could keep you under their thumb, so they created a fail-safe. Housed it in the sub-levels of the building.
Fred: What kind of fail-safe?
Eve: I don't know what it is, exactly, but it's huge and alive... and specifically designed to destroy you.
Angel: How can I stop it?
Eve: The only way to shut it down's in the chamber itself.
Fred: Well, if that's true, then who activated it in the first place?
Gunn: You were with us when the building cleared out.
Wesley: Had to be someone else. Someone with the ability to slip past Wolfram & Hart security systems.
Lorne: Like our magically tattooed faux Doyle.
Angel: Spike, I don't wanna go in blind. Anything else you know about this guy?
Spike: Not much. Average size. Dressed like an urban cowboy. Got his hand chopped off once.
Cordelia: (realizes) His hand?
Wesley: He's back.
Angel: Lindsey.
Fred: Who?
Angel: Lock the building down, make sure he can't get out. Don't trust security systems. He won't show up because of those tattoos of his.
Wesley: There could be a way to fix that. I'll need some help.
Lorne: My dance card's free.
Fred: (to Angel) Who is Lindsey?
Cordelia: A lawyer. Wolfram & Hart's former golden boy, till he ran off to go find himself.
Angel: Yeah, he should've stayed lost. Harmony, guard Eve. She moves, eat her.
Harmony: (grins widely) Really? Thanks. (looks at Eve like she's lunch)
Fred: Angel, you're not going down there alone.
Angel: The fail-safe's meant for me. I'm not gonna risk anybody I care about.
Spike: I'll go.
Angel: (too quick) OK. (to Fred and Cordelia) Be ready to evacuate. If this thing gets past me, get the hell out of the building. (walks to the door)
Cordelia: Past us. (walks to Angel's desk)
Angel: No, no. Cordy—
Cordelia: (grabs a samurai sword off the wall behind Angel's desk) Yeah, save it, Angel. You can order me around all you want, but I know my rights. (unsheathes the sword) And I wanna see a lawyer.
(Basement)
(Spike, Cordelia, and Angel walk down the basement steps into the room guarded by a net of green laser beams.)
Spike: (looking at the laser beams) What the bloody hell is this?
Angel: Let's find out. (He walks into the laser net, triggering an alarm. Doors unlock, and people walk out of closets poised for a fight.) Zombies. Oh, swell. (Angel, Cordelia and Spike all join in fighting off the zombies.) We don't have time for this.
Spike: Go on. I'll hold them back. (Angel and Cordy run past the zombies, leaving Spike alone with them) Come on, lads. No need to be gentle. We're all dead men here.
(Spike fights the zombies.)
(Basement Chamber)
(Lindsey walks down the stairs from the control panel and pats the side of the tank as it rises from the floor.)
Lindsey: (looking at the tank) Bye-bye, Angel.
Angel: Hello, Lindsey.
(Lindsey turns to see Angel and Cordelia standing behind him. He grins.)
Lindsey: And the hero arrives right on schedule. And with a date.
Cordelia: Yeah. Dinner and a show... and you're both.
(Angel walks slowly toward Lindsey with his arms crossed.)
Lindsey: Is this the part where I get all weak in the knees? Promise I'll never do it again?
Angel: It's a little late for that, Doyle.
Lindsey: (nods sarcastically) There's always time for redemption. Isn't that your whole thing?
Angel: You had your chance. I guess some people, they just never change.
(Angel starts to backhand Lindsey, but Lindsey catches his hand mid-thrust and punches Angel in the ribs before throwing him hard across the room. Angel rolls across the floor into the opposite wall.)
Lindsey: (saunters toward Angel) I did. (Angel's still on the floor trying to sit up.) You just gonna lay there and bleed?
Angel: Cordy, get out of here.
Lindsey: No. (points to the door behind Cordelia, causing it to close behind her) Hang out. (smirks) This won't take long.
(He pulls his pocketknife out of his back pocket.)
Cordelia: Angel! (throws Angel the samurai sword)
Lindsey: (looks at Angel's sword, then at his own small pocket knife) Oh. Well, it's not the size that matters, big guy. (transforms the pocketknife into a hefty sword, grins) It's how you use it.
Angel: Shut it down.
Lindsey: Say please.
Angel: I wasn't talking to you.
Cordelia: Oh, right. On it. (runs toward the stairs to the control panel)
Angel: So go and get yourself a little mojo? Should never have come back, Lindsey.
Lindsey: What can I say? I missed you.
(Angel swings first, and he and Lindsey engage in sword fighting while Cordelia examines the control panel.)
Cordelia: (looks at all the lights and buttons on the control panel) OK, let's try the blue one. (presses a button, but gets shocked) Ow! OK, not the blue one.
(Lindsey pins Angel against the wall during their sword fight, but Angel pushes him away. They continue to fight. Lindsey punches Angel then backflips high into the air, landing on his feet on top of the holding tank.)
Lindsey: Little something I picked up in Nepal. (grins) You like it?
Angel: They sell that crap at the airport.
(Angel leaps into the air nearly effortlessly, landing on the holding tank. He and Lindsey resume their sword fighting. Lindsey kicks Angel in the knee, causing Angel to scream in pain and recoil.)
Lindsey: (laughing) You know, all my carefully laid out plans, my designs, when you get right down to it, that was pretty sweet, too, huh? (grins) Reason enough for me to come back. You, me... fight to the death... (points his sword at Angel) yours.
Angel: I've seen your tough act before, squirt. First time we ever met, you put on a show. (they resume sword fighting) Huffing and puffing, telling me I couldn't lay a hand on your scumbag client.
Lindsey: So you kicked him out a window.
Angel: (cocks his head to the side) Good times.
Lindsey: It was a defining moment. (the vents around the holding tank let out steam as the tank starts rumbling under their feet) Kind of like this one.
(Cordelia looks over toward the tank seeing something scary swimming around in it.)
Cordelia: Oh, crap.
(Wesley’s Office)
(Wesley is reading from a scroll as Gunn paces behind him and Fred gathers ingredients. Lorne is pacing in the background with a stick of smoking incense.)
Wesley: Woodbury lichen.
Fred: Check.
Wesley: Where's our danbeetle skeleton?
Gunn: Already in the bowl. Man, I should be down there. Got enough Betty Crockers. I should be throwing some hurt.
Wesley: (reading) "Sprinkle ingredients with the arterial blood of an unclean." (looks at Lorne) A demon.
Lorne: We're unclean? Like you're so April fre— (realizes Wesley's looking at him) You sure that thing said arterial blood?
Wesley: Sorry.
Lorne: Why don't they ever need the urine of an unclean? I've got plenty of unclean urine. (Gunn pulls out a dagger; Lorne lets out a nervous chuckle) Look. Uh... I think I'm making some right now. (looks down)
(Basement Chamber)
(Angel and Lindsey continue their sword fight on top of the holding tank where some monster is ready to come out if Cordelia can't use the control panel to stop it. Angel punches Lindsey in the face. When Lindsey stands up, his shirt is hanging open, unbuttoned, and Angel notices Lindsey's tattoos.)
Angel: That must have stung.
Lindsey: (smirks) Worse then when you cut off my hand.
(The sword fighting continues, but Lindsey takes Angel's sword. Angel kicks Lindsey's sword into the air and leaps onto the balcony to catch it. Lindsey leaps onto the balcony with the samurai sword to continue the fight. The sword fighting continues, and Angel kicks Lindsey in the chest, knocking him back a couple of feet. Lindsey lunges toward Angel, stabbing him through the heart with the sword.)
Cordelia: Angel!
(Lindsey kicks Angel off the balcony, across the room. Angel lands on top on the holding tank. Lindsey leaps down to stand over him.)
Lindsey: (walking around Angel, mocking) Who is this? Who is this? (takes off his shirt) I came to fight the vampire with a soul. Guess you shouldn't have sold it, huh? Look at you, from champion to pathetic corporate puppet in just a few months. You used to have fire in your heart. (squats down to Angel's level) Now all you got in there is that big honkin' sword. How's that feel, champ?
Angel: Could be worse... (pulls the sword out of his chest) if it had been made out of wood, you dumbass.
(Angel throws the sword away and gets up. Angel and Lindsey engage in hand-to-hand combat now, fighting with punches, headbutts and kicks.)
Cordelia: (to the control panel) Now you are gonna give it up. (She presses buttons on the control panel until the tube emerges. The covering iris widens to reveal the crystal inside, and when Cordelia takes the crystal out, the system makes a "powering down" noise.) Like that was so hard.
Lindsey: (sees Cordelia with the crystal) No!
(Cordelia grins widely at Lindsey. The tank sinks back into its underground holding spot, keeping the animal inside it contained for now. Lindsey's power seems to have faded now as well, since he's only able to throw weak punches at Angel, and Angel doesn't even feel the need to fight back.)
Angel: All those tattoos, all those new tricks you've learned... (punches Lindsey in the stomach, knocking him to the ground) just don't matter. (Lindsey tries to stand) Doesn't matter what you try. (Angel punches Lindsey down) Doesn't matter where I am or how badass you think you've become. (Lindsey gets to his knees, but Angel punches him in the face again) 'Cause you know what? (grabs Lindsey by the neck, holding him face-to-face) I'm Angel. (throws Lindsey across the room; Lindsey lands against the wall) I beat the bad guys.
(Lindsey chuckles as he struggles to get to his feet.)
Cordelia: (stands beside Angel) You OK?
Angel: I've been worse.
Lindsey: (standing, staggering out of breath in front of Angel) So what now, huh? Think you got it in you to kill me?
Angel: I really don't think I have to.
Cordelia: (with mock concern) Sweetie, your epidermis is showing.
(Lindsey looks at his tattoos. They float up off of his skin and vanish into thin air, leaving him unmarked and thus unprotected.)
(Wesley’s Office)
(Fred sprinkles ingredients as Wesley reads from the magical scroll.)
Wesley: Fabula mundi, sanguis incesti, vincula solve, invisa revela. (gasps) I think I can feel it working.
(Fred looks at Wesley, admiring his work; Wesley looks over at Fred.)
(Basement Chamber)
(Lindsey watches as the last of the tattoos vanishes from his skin.)
Lindsey: Damn!
(There's a flashing light and whirlwind appearing above them.)
Angel: I think the senior partners would like a word.
(Lindsey looks up to see a portal is forming in the air above him.)
Lindsey: (looks at Angel) You don't think they're angry, do you? (chuckles nervously)
(Lindsey is sucked into the air into the portal, which closes behind him.)
(Lobby)
(A pouting Eve walks onto the elevator with the whole gang standing behind her to make sure she leaves.)
Cordelia: It's really been a pleasure. Let's never keep in touch.
Angel: It's a new game, Eve. If I were you, I'd start thinking strategy.
Eve: And here I am thinking revenge.
Angel: And what do you imagine the senior partners are thinking?
(The elevator doors close on Eve.)
Lorne: Well, I'm thinking seabreeze, compadres. I gave up a lot of blood for this gig.
Harmony: And I didn't get any. I kept begging Eve to run, but... (shakes her head)
Spike: Well, I've been prancing around thinking I had a destiny. Love to drown my embarrassment in a few pints.
Fred: We should all go get a drink. We haven't done that in...ever.
Gunn: I'm in. Cat and Fiddle? (presses the elevator call button)
Wesley: Yeah. (to Angel) Unless, of course, you're busy packing.
Angel: A drink sounds good. I'll go get my coat.
(The elevator bell sounds just as Angel walks toward his office. The elevator doors open and the others walk onto it, minus Cordelia.)
Cordelia: You guys go ahead. We'll catch up. Oh, and Wesley? You still work the best mojo in town. (smiles admiringly)
Lorne: (points incredulously to Wesley) I bleed from the neck, he gets the props. (chuckles)
(The elevator door closes.)
(Angel’s Office)
(Cordelia walks into Angel's office as he puts on his blazer.)
Cordelia: So... (walks up to Angel) you feel good?
Angel: I do. I just...I kind of feel bad about it.
Cordelia: My God, you are a piece of work.
Angel: I just don't feel like I deserve... (shrugs) I mean, all I did was beat up a tiny Texan. It's not like I helped anyone. (sits on the chair arm)
Cordelia: Sure you did.
Angel: Who?
Cordelia: Boy, I really do fall for the dumb ones. You know how you're always trying to save, oh, every single person in the world? Did it ever occur to you you were one of them?
Angel: No, it never did.
Cordelia: Well, you made the list, gorgeous. And you needed some help.
Angel: And you were the one that helped me.
Cordelia: I did my part. (sits beside Angel)
Angel: Lindsey wasted a lot of energy trying to make me doubt myself. I know it's not even close to over, but I do feel like I can do this. Wolfram & Hart, whatever's coming, I feel like we can beat it.
Cordelia: I know.
Angel: You do?
Cordelia: I always did. I... I just needed you to know it, too.
Angel: So all that stuff about the deals with the devil...
Cordelia: (nods) Was God's honest truth. (looks at Angel) But you're bigger than that. You'll win this in the end. (stands, steps away) I, uh... just wish I could be there to see it.
Angel: What do you mean? You're not...
Cordelia: (turns to face Angel) I can't stay. This isn't me anymore. You can say good-bye to the gang for me, explain everything once you understand.
Angel: That's gonna be never. (walks toward her) I need you here.
Cordelia: (with tears in her eyes) Don't make it hard, Angel. I'm just on a different road... and this is my off-ramp. The Powers That Be owed me one, and I didn't waste it. I got my guy back on track.
Angel: Cordy, there's just—
Cordelia: (touches his face) We take what we can get, champ, and we do our best with it. I'll be seeing you.
(She smiles through her tears, turns to walk out of the office. But before reaching the door she stops, turns around, walks quickly up to Angel.) Oh, what the hell. One for the road?
(She and Angel have a passionate kiss.)
(The telephone rings.)
Angel: You know, um... I don't...I don't need to get that.
Cordelia: (tenderly straightens his tie) That you have to get. (Angel walks toward the phone) Oh... and you're welcome.
Angel: (answers the phone) Hello. Yes, I know. She's... but that's impossible. She's standing right— (turns to look for Cordelia, but she's not there; he becomes visibly upset) I'm sorry. Yeah. (choking up) When did she die? Did she, um... she never did wake up? I see. (He hangs up, looks out to where Cordelia was standing moments earlier.) Thank you.
Season Five Guide