Disclaimer: The characters Miss
Parker, Sydney, Jarod, Broots etc.and the fictional Centre, are all property of
MTM, TNT and NBC Productions and used without permission. I'm not making any
money out of this and no infringement is intended.
Mini-Jarod
by Lizzy
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“Hmm... almost done,” Jarod mutters to himself in his makeshift laboratory in the Appalachians. He’s been locked up there for days working on his latest creation, a shrinking potion.
“There!” he shouts triumphantly to the empty cabin. “Now, it’s time for the fun part!” he exclaims with a silly grin on his face. He takes a small drink from the vial and shrinks down by 6 inches.
“Interesting,” he says to himself as he heads outside toward his Jeep. He starts the engine, after having readjusted the seat, and heads off down the mountain.
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“Any leads on Jarod?” Miss Parker asks in her typically fashion as she comes into the room where Sydney and Broots are huddled around a computer.
“N-no Miss Parker,” Broots stumbles out to the Ice Queen.
“Then why are you huddled around the computer like that?” she asks with an arched eyebrow.
“N-no reason.”
“Let me see,” Miss Parker demands.
“Miss Parker, it is none of your concern,” Sydney says, trying to calm her.
“Like hell it isn’t,” she responds as she brushes past him and pushes Broots out of the way.
“H-happy Birthday Miss Parker,” Broots says meekly at the look of shock on her face.
That look of shock quickly turns to one of anger as she whirls around to face both of the men, fury blazing in her eyes.
“How the hell did you find out?”
“Miss Parker, I was under the assumption that you would’ve enjoyed your birthday,” says Sydney with his ever-calming tone.
She snorts derisively as she stalks out of the room, heading back to her office, with Sydney hot on her heels.
“Parker! Parker!”
“What?” she asks as she whirls around to face Sydney, having him almost slam into her.
“What is so bad about your birthday? Why did you hide it for so many years?” Sydney asks, out of breath.
“Because my mother was the only one who ever celebrated it with me. That’s why. Do you understand now?” She asks in a mocking tone.
“I’m sorry Parker. We didn’t know.”
“Stop snooping around my past, Syd, and I might just forgive you both,” she responds as she turns on her heel and leaves.
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Jarod maneuvers his way down the back roads to Miss Parker’s house. When he gets there, he hides his Jeep about a mile or so down the road, in the opposite direction she takes to get home. Though it was fairly simple for him to break into her house, he decided it could be more fun to go through the crack between the door and the porch. He knew it would take an hour or so before he got back to his original height, since along the way he had gotten back the six inches he lost. He pulled out the bottle he kept the potion and took a huge swig of it until he was about an inch tall. He then walked over to the porch, then realizing that he should of drank the potion when he was *on* the porch.
“Oh shit,” he mumbled to himself.
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Miss Parker was tired. It had been a long day at the Centre and she just wanted to go home. She decided to go home early and forget that today was her birthday in a bottle of vodka. She collected all of her things and turned out the light, heading down to her car. On the way to her car, a sweeper stopped her and told her that her father wanted to see her right away. She sighed and turned back to the elevator.
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Jarod was sitting on the ground, as he had been for the past half-hour. In that time, he had analyzed the dirt and found it to be perfect for growing certain breeds of roses, and had a staring contest with a bug. He lost, but only because the bug’s compound eyes were really getting to him. He looked around himself, hoping that there was something more interesting than sitting here on the ground. He’d have no such luck, so he resigned himself to staring out into space.
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Miss Parker was once again heading out to her car, after her brief meeting with her father. All he’d wanted to know was if there were any leads on Jarod, and, of course, to wish her a happy birthday.
*Not that he really cared* she thought bitterly to herself.
She made it out to her car and started the drive towards her house. She put in Linkin Park’s latest CD and set it too “One Step Closer”, her new favorite song. She sang along as she went 80 down the road.
I cannot take this anymore
I'm saying everything I've said before
All these words they make no sense
I find bliss in ignorance
Less I hear the less you'll say
But you'll find that out anyway
Just like before...
Everything you say to me
Takes me one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I need a little room to breathe
Cause I'm one step closer to the edge
And I'm about to break
I find the answers aren't so clear
Wish I could find a way to disappear
All these thoughts they make no sense
I find bliss in ignorance
Nothing seems to go away
Over and over again
shut up when I'm talking to you
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Jarod began to feel himself growing back to his original size, and thought to himself *Finally! * He then headed up the stairs to the porch and took another swig of the potion so he was once again 1 inch tall. He then proceeded to sneak in underneath the door, coming into a house barely illuminated by the fading light. I t was then that he noticed the headlights that came into the driving and the blaring music as the car pulled up to the house.
“Fuck!” he exclaimed as he looked for a place to hide, which wasn’t very hard since he was 1 inch tall. He decided on under the bed in her bedroom.
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Miss Parker pulled up to her house in the dimming sunlight and switched off the CD. She walked up to the door, tripping on a mound of dirt that wasn’t there before and came into the house. She had the feeling that someone else was in there with her, but ignored it. She headed straight to the liquor cabinet and pulled out the bottle of vodka. Not bothering to use any glasses, she took a drink straight from the bottle, about to head to her room when the phone rang.
“Dammit!” she said as she went to retrieve the offending object. It turned out it was an old friend of hers from college with whom she spent almost 45 minutes talking to. When she finally got off the phone she headed to the fridge to get something to eat. She spent 5 minutes searching until she finally settled on some baby carrots. She brought those with her as she came into the bedroom.
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Jarod heard Miss Parker come into the house and heard her go straight to the liquor cabinet.
“That’s not good for your ulcer,” he mumbles to himself.
The phone’s ringing pulls him out of his reverie and he listens to her conversation with, he assumes, is an old friend. When the conversation ends, he realizes he’s been listening for almost 45 minutes, and that the potion will wear off soon.
“Shit!” he exclaims in a whisper as he tries to figure out a way to get out of her house without alarming her. That’s when he hears her approaching footsteps.
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Miss Parker walks into her bedroom wanting nothing more than to change into her favorite pajamas and get into bed. She goes over to her closet and pulls out her “Hello! Kitty” pajamas. She takes another bite of her carrot and takes off her duster and shoes, thankful she can get out of them now. She takes off her skirt and shirt, clad in only her underwear, and puts on the pajama bottoms. She then takes off her bra and puts on the top. That’s when she hears it. The very loud “Owww!” in Jarod’s voice that came from beneath her bed.
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Jarod watched Miss Parker come into her room and go straight to her closet. Being the genius that he is, he realizes that she is going to get her pajamas and probably be getting changed right in front of him. This distracts him for about 5 seconds until he sees her shoes come off. He stares in bewilderment as she begins to strip right in front of him. Soon, though he feels himself growing taller. 6 inches, a foot, 2 feet, etc. Soon, he is back to his original height, and since he is so tall, hits his head on the bed frame.
“Owww!” he says loudly.
He quickly covers his mouth in realization that he has just said something, but it is too late, she is bending down to look under the bed.
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“JAROD!” she screams at him, fury written all over her face.
“Ummm.... surprise?” he says weakly, with a scared look on her face.
“You are sooooo dead! I’m gonna hang you!” she shouts at him, while trying to drag him out from underneath the bed.
“Miss Parker, this isn’t what it look likes...”
“You snuck into my house and hid underneath my bed! What else is it supposed to be?” she demands of him.
“Alright, so it’s exactly what it looks like, but I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday,” he says with a hopeful look on his face.
She makes an “ugh” noise and manages to drag him out from under the bed and into the living room. This is when she realizes she doesn’t have any handcuffs and is too tired to drag him again so she uses the ties from the curtains and ties up his hands and feet while she goes to recover the handcuffs. When she comes back, she sees he is gone and is more pissed off than ever. She runs to the wide open door and can’t spot him anywhere. She slams it in disgust and locks it, throwing the handcuffs at it.
Down on the ground, by the now wrecked mound of dirt, Jarod sits there, laughing, one inch tall once again.
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