Award Winner in the 2002 Fanfic Awards

Where Do I Go?

Chapter 1- 
Hearing the phone ring, Rhonda sighed, knowing who was on the other end. She picked up the receiver, preparing herself for any excuses he might use. 
“Hello?” 
“Rhonda, hey, is Karen there?” Scott’s voice crackled on the poor connection. 
“No, Scott, she got rather annoyed waiting for you, so she went to check on something at the hospital.” 
“I feel horrible about forgetting to pick her up for dinner. I would have called sooner, but Laura needed me to help her with her son, Lucky, and by the time I realized how late it was…” 
“Scott, I can barely hear you. I’ll tell Karen what happened.” 
“Thanks Rhonda, and let her know I’ll call her tomorrow…” Scott managed to say before the connection was lost. 
Rhonda slammed down the phone, trying not to curse out loud. She hated having to tell her daughter that her father was too busy with the family of the woman he was trying to impress to take her out to dinner. 
She curled up on the couch in Karen’s apartment that she was sharing until she found her own place after returning to town. She closed her eyes, her thoughts stayed with Karen. All she had ever hoped for was that her daughter could develop a relationship with her father and now, twenty-seven years later, that had yet to happen. Something always seemed to get in the way and it made Rhonda wonder why. 
As she drifted off to sleep, she found herself back at the high school dance in 1973 that Karen was conceived at. 

Rhonda shot up, startled by the revelations in her dream. How could she have forgotten? After all these years, she had no recollection of this encounter and then suddenly, it all came back to her. She could remember exactly what happened that night when they walked out those doors. 
“I don’t believe this! Scott’s not the only man I slept with that night!” Rhonda said out loud. 

Rhonda opened her eyes as the morning sun flooded the room. Her head pounded as the result of a virtually sleepless night. She looked around and saw that there was still no sign that Karen had returned home. 
As Rhonda showered, she dreaded her plans for the day. She knew what she had to do, but hated that it had to be done at all. After getting dressed, she went to the kitchen and got two small plastic bags. She returned to the bathroom and took Karen’s hairbrush from the drawer. She pulled a few strands of hair from it and put them in one of the bags. She then went to the phone and took a deep breath before picking it up and dialing the number. 
“Alan, hi, it’s Rhonda,” She said when he answered his office phone. 
“Rhonda, you sound shaken, is everything okay?” 
“No, that’s why I need you to do me a huge favor. You have to be willing to keep this between us.” 
“Anything you need, I’m here.” 
“I need you to run a DNA test for me. I can get the hair samples, but I need you to do the test. Can you do this for me?” 
“Of course I can. Do you want to tell me what I’m looking for?” Alan asked, puzzled. 
“It’s a paternity test…Scott might not be Karen’s father.” 
“What? I didn’t think there was a question about that!” 
“Neither did I, Alan, but I apparently blacked out that night and only just now remembered that I had sex with another man. I honestly thought Scott was it, but…” 
Rhonda admitted tearfully. 
“Do you remember who this man was?” 
“Yes, but let’s not go there unless I have to. If it turns out that Scott isn’t her father, then I’ll tell you everything. I don’t want to disturb this guy’s life unless I have to.” 
“Okay, well, I can meet you at the Grille at about noon. Can you have the samples by then?” 
“I think so. Thank you, Alan, you’re a great friend.” 
“I care about you and Karen, so it’s my pleasure to help.” 
Rhonda hung up the phone and grabbed her jacket and purse before hurrying out the door. 

Sitting at the table in the on-call room, Karen tried to concentrate on her work, but was too distracted. She slammed down the file she was reading in annoyance. She had gotten the message her mother left on her voice mail about her father’s reasons for missing dinner, but she couldn’t help being mad. He was off with a family that wasn’t even his and she got stuck waiting around for him to take her out. Sure, she had been the one to cancel last time, but she had been called in to work the ER and she gave him a few hours notice! 
No matter how hard they tried to connect, something continued to get in the way. Was this that fate or destiny or whatever Lucy’s always going on about? Was something trying to tell them that just because they shared DNA, it doesn’t mean that the family life would work for them? Too angry for tears, she chucked her pen at the wall, hoping to relieve some stress. 
“Dr. Wexler, are you vandalizing the on-call room?” Chris asked in an authoritative tone as he entered the room. 
“Don’t start with me, Ramsey, I’m not in the mood.” 
“Aw, is poor Karen having a bad day? Did you have a run in with the ex? Or did you and Frankenstein kiss and make up?” 
“Not that it’s any of your business, but Frank and I are still friends and this had nothing to do with him. Or you, so go away.” 
“Gee, sounds like someone woke up on the wrong side of the cot! You can get quite cranky when you pull a double shift!” Chris teased, seeing the irritation in her eyes. 
“Go to hell, Chris,” Karen cursed before storming out the door. 
“Wow, what’s got her knickers in a twist?” Chris asked out loud on his way to his office. 

“Hey Rhonda, did we have a meeting this morning?” Scott asked, seeing her at his door. 
“No, I just stopped by to talk to you.” 
“Come in,” He directed as they took a seat on the couch, “I really do feel terrible about last night. Is Karen mad?” 
“She didn’t come home last night. I’m guessing she just crashed at the hospital, but I left her a message to tell her you had called.” 
“Is that what you came by to talk about, or is there something else?” 
Feeling uncomfortable, Rhonda quickly looked away from Scott. 
“I was on my way to run some errands and thought I’d stop by,” Rhonda stretched the truth. 
“Oh, well, I’m glad you did. Is Karen working today? Maybe I’ll call her and see if she wants to meet for lunch.” 
“She’s working and I think she said something about working the ER today, so she might not get a real lunch break.” 
“Okay, then I’ll just call her tonight and see how she’s doing.” 
Rhonda could tell that he honestly wanted to make an effort with Karen, but was just lost. She prayed that they could work things out and that she wouldn’t have to crush them both with the news that he wasn’t really her father. 
“I should get going…um, could I use your bathroom?” 
“Sure, ah, the one down here is broken, but you can use the one in my room.” 
“Thanks,” She said, making her way up the stairs. 
Conveniently, Scott’s comb was sitting on the bathroom counter. She noticed a few hairs next to it and put them in the other bag. She waited a minute before going back downstairs. 
“Thank for stopping by,” He said walking her to the door. 
She gently touched his hand before leaving. 
Alan was at the bar talking to someone when she got to the Grille. He saw her and came over, showing her to the table waiting for them. 
“I really appreciate you doing this for me. I just hope that everything turns out like it should.” 
“Well, are you sure you want to go through with it?” 
“I have to, Alan. This other man lives here in Port Charles and if it turns out that Karen is his, he has a right to know. Besides, if I don’t do it, I’ll always wonder.” 
“All right, did you get the samples?” 
“Scott’s and Karen’s,” She said handing him the bags. 
“I’ll put a rush on it.” 

Rhonda paced the small apartment, continuously checking her watch. She knew that Karen would be getting off work soon and she hoped that Alan would call before she came home. She didn’t want Karen to see her in this nervous state. When the phone finally rang, she just about jumped out of her own skin. She was quickly disappointed when it was someone calling the wrong number. 
“Get a grip, Rhonda,” She said to herself, putting her hand to her forehead. 
Again, the phone rang and she couldn’t help jumping again. 
“Hello?” 
“Rhonda? It’s Alan.” 
“Alan! Do you have the results?” She asked nervously. 
“They’re in my hand. Are you sure you’re ready for this?” 
“I don’t think I’ll ever be ready.” 
She could hear him opening the envelope and her body tensed up. 
“The test says that it’s ninety-nine point nine percent conclusive that the DNA does not match. I’m sorry, Rhonda, but Scott isn’t Karen’s father.” 
His words clouded in her head and she had to tighten her grip on the phone to keep from dropping it. 
“Rhonda, are you still there?” 
“I…I’m here. What am I going to do, Alan? How do I explain this to my daughter? And Scott? What do I say to them?” 
“Karen will understand, but I’m sure it’ll take some time. You have to expect that she’s going to need some space to think things through. As for Scott, well, it’s not easy to predict how he’ll react.” 
“Thank you for everything. I should go before Karen comes home.” 
“Okay, please let me know how everything goes.” 
“I will, I’ll explain everything.” 
Just as she was hanging up the phone, Karen walked through the door. 
“Hi honey, how was work?” Rhonda asked, trying to play it cool. 
“Fine…I’m sorry I didn’t come home last night, I picked up a shift at the hospital.” 
“I figured you had. Did you get my message?” 
“Yeah,” Was her only response as she got herself a glass of water. 
“Um, honey, there’s something I have to talk to you about. I need you to sit down.” 
“Mom, what’s going on?” 
“Okay, well…ah, you remember how I told you all about that dance, back in high school, when your fa…when you were conceived? Well, apparently there was something that happened that night and I only just remembered it last night.” 
“I’m not quite following you.” 
“I had been drinking and I guess I blacked out for a little while, but it all came back to me last night.” 
“And what exactly does this have to do with me?” Karen asked, sitting on the couch next to her mother. 
“Well…now, before I tell you, you have to realize that even I didn’t know this was a possibility. I’m just as shocked as…” 
“You’re really starting to scare me, Mom. Please just spit it out.” 
“I remembered that I had met this boy, who was from Europe, but was there with a friend. We talked for a while and he tried to cheer me up because I was upset about your father…about Scott. We really hit it off and he kissed me and then we went out to his car and…” 
“Stop right there! Are you saying that you and this guy…and you only remembered this last night?” Karen raised her voice, jumping to her feet. 
Rhonda nodded her head. It was killing her to have to admit this to her daughter. 
Seeing the expression on her mother’s face, Karen knew what was coming next. 
“I had Alan run a DNA test today, with hair samples from you and Scott. He called me just before you came home.” 
Karen stood there silently, dreading what Rhonda might tell her. 
“The results said…” Rhonda tried to speak through the lump forming in her throat, “They said that it’s ninety-nine point nine percent conclusive that Scott is not your father.” 
Feeling like someone had just punched her in the stomach, Karen dropped the glass that she was holding and it shattered as soon as it hit the floor. 
“What? You’re telling me that the man I’ve been trying like hell to connect with isn’t even my father? Then who is, Mom? Could you remember his name from this little revelation of yours?” Karen demanded. 
“Yes…” Rhonda said quietly, “He only knew me as Cookie, so he never would have connected me with our encounter. He lives here in Port Charles and you actually know him pretty well.” 
“So who is it? Is it Alan? I hope not, considering I dated his son!” Karen said sharply. 
“I’m so sorry, Karen. I wish I had remembered this all before I went and told you Scott was your father. I swear I never would have done it if I didn’t honestly think he was. I’m sorry that I was wrong,” Rhonda cried. 
“Can you please just tell me who my father is? I need to know, Mom.” 
“Its Kevin…Kevin Collins is your father.” 
Suddenly, the walls began closing in on her and Karen couldn’t handle it. Without a word, she grabbed her purse and took off. 

Karen stumbled up to the front door of the lighthouse, nearly tripping on the way. She had just left Jake’s and was ready to confront Kevin. When she reached the door, she stuck out her finger and aimed at the doorbell that seemed to be a mile away. She slowly went for it. It took a few minutes before someone finally opened the door. 
“Karen?” Kevin questioned, rubbing his eyes, “What are you doing here at this time of night?” 
“Well hello to you, too, Dad!” Karen slurred. 
“Karen, you’ve obviously been drinking,” He said, smelling the alcohol on her breath and seeing how unsteady she was, “Did something happen?” 
“Ha! That’s an understatement if I’ve ever heard one! My mother was kind enough to inform me that well, as it turns out, Scott Baldwin isn’t really my father! Can you believe it?” She laughed sarcastically. 
“Why don’t you come inside and have a seat…” Kevin started. 
“Aren’t you even going to ask who the lucky daddy is?” Karen asked, but Kevin was silent as he tried to figure out just what was going on, “Well, break out the cigars, Kevin, ‘cause it’s a girl!” 
“What? Karen, what are you trying to say here?” Lucy asked in surprise, coming down the stairs. 
“Gee Lucy, looks like you just can’t get rid of me, can you?” 
“Karen, I don’t understand how I can be your father. I barely know your mother.” 
“Well, you knew her well enough to knock her up before she even graduated high school!” 
“Now wait just a minute. You have no right to show up here in the middle of the night throwing around drunken accusations!” Lucy raised her voice. 
“Why don’t you ask Kevin if the name Cookie rings a bell,” Karen threw out, putting her hands on her hips, trying to stand still as the room started spinning. 
Lucy looked to Kevin as his face fell with the memories of that night flooding back to him. 
“Rhonda is Cookie…I…I had no idea…” Kevin sputtered. 
“You slept with Rhonda Wexler?” 
“Lucy, it was in 1973. I was here visiting a friend and she dragged me to the dance and I met Cookie…I mean, Rhonda, and yes, we ended up sleeping together. I went back to Europe a few days later and when I asked my friend about Cookie, she had no idea who I was talking about. I had no way of finding her,” Kevin explained. 
“You and Rhonda…I can’t believe it,” Lucy shook her head. 
“It was just a one-night thing and I tried to find her, but I didn’t know her real name. Karen, are you sure Scott isn’t your father?” 
“No Kevin, I’m making it all up just to make your life miserable!” She snapped, “My mother ran a DNA test, we didn’t match.” 
“Wow…you’re my daughter…” Kevin sat down slowly on the couch, “We’ve known each other for so many years and I had no idea. Your mother never said anything…” 
“She was drunk that night, she blacked out and didn’t remember until the other night,” Karen told him, “So, now I get to play round two of guess who your father is!” 
“Karen, for what it’s worth, I’m sorry. If I had any idea that there was a possibility that you were my daughter, I would have done something about it,” Kevin admitted. 
Hearing this hit her hard and she broke down in tears, burying her face in her hands. 
Kevin looked to Lucy, who nodded to him and he got up and stood next to Karen, touching her shoulder. 
“I know it won’t be easy, but from here on out, I want to be there for you and get to know you…as your father.” 
Catching her breath, Karen couldn’t help but jump into defense mode. 
“Look, don’t think that I expect you to go and change your life around because you’re all of a sudden my father!” 
“Karen, you obviously need some time to cool off. Why don’t I take you home,” Lucy offered. 
“It would probably be better to discuss this tomorrow…” 
“Don’t bother, Kevin, there’s nothing to discuss. You’re my father and let’s just leave it at that.” 
At that, Livvie dropped her purse in shock, appearing at the front door. 
“What did you just say? I thought Scott Baldwin was your father?” 
“Livvie,” Kevin closed his eyes, knowing he had a lot of explaining to do, “I’ll tell you everything later, I promise.” 
“How can she claim that you’re her father? It can’t be possible.” 
Karen, who was again near tears and tired of arguing, ran out the door. Livvie, wanting answers, turned and followed her out. She finally caught up with her and found Karen sitting on the grass, overlooking the ocean, curled up in a ball, crying. 
“Are you happy now? Kevin seems to have bought whatever little story you made up!” Livvie accused, approaching her. 
“I wish it was just a story, but it’s not. It’s the truth about my increasingly dysfunctional life,” Karen answered, not even bothering to look at her. 
“You should feel lucky to have an incredible man like Kevin as your father. I know what it’s like to grow up without a father and then find out who he is years later, but…” 
“But have you had it happen twice? Can you tell me you know what that’s like?” Karen snapped at her. 
“No, I can’t, but Kevin wants to be your father, Karen, and you’re treating him like a criminal or something! I didn’t think you could be so cruel.” 
“You know nothing about me!” Karen yelled at her, unsteadily jumping to her feet. 
“You’re right, I don’t know you. I only know what I’ve heard about you. Like that you’re this friendly, sweet, forgiving person. I was hoping to get a chance to meet you because you sounded like such a great person,” Livvie explained. 
“Well, I’ve got news for you. It’s all a lie, I’m not so incredible. You have no idea what the real me is like…” 
“I’ve already admitted that, but what I do know is that you’re drunk and saying things you don’t really mean. You need to give Kevin a chance.” 
“Who are you to tell me what to do?” 
“Well, if Kevin’s your father, then that makes us sisters, Karen. Now, you’ve got to calm down, you look like you’re going to snap,” Livvie observed. 
Karen, angered by Livvie’s words, took a step towards her and went to swing at her. Livvie managed to grab her arm before she could strike her and she looked into Karen’s face. Karen exploded into tears and fell to the ground, making Livvie’s heart sink. Feeling bad about the whole situation, she knelt down beside Karen and took her in her arms, letting her cry. 

“Karen Wexler is my daughter… Lucy, I have an adult daughter!” Kevin rambled in shock. 
“It’s all pretty unbelievable, that’s for sure. Finding out Livvie was your daughter was one thing, but Karen? She grew up not even knowing who her father was and when she was finally told, he took off to Canada. Then, when they’re actually starting to get to know each other, she’s slammed with the news that he isn’t really her father! It’s no wonder she showed up here totally inebriated.” 
“She’s a mess and she doesn’t seem to want anything to do with me.” 
“Doc, she’s not thinking clearly. You have to give both of you some time to absorb all this,” She said taking his hand. 
“I get that she needs some space right now, but I’m not going to walk away. I am her father and I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure that she knows she can count on me.” 
“And that’s why I love you,” Lucy kissed him, “I would never expect you to walk away from your child.” 
“So, you’re behind me on this one? You’re not upset about another illegitimate child?” 
“Kevin, I’m your wife, of course I’m behind you. This happened before I even knew you and it’s not like you knew you had a child and was keeping it from me. Now, Karen and I have had our differences in the past, but I will not let that get in the way of you building a relationship with her.” 
“Oh, I love you,” He breathed a sigh of relief, hugging her, “You know that I was going to go forward with this even if you didn’t approve, didn’t you?” 
“Of course I did,” Lucy laughed. 
The two of them spun their heads around when the front door opened and Karen and Livvie walked in. 
“I didn’t think we’d see you two back here tonight,” Kevin said. 
“Karen and I…talked, and I realized that I can’t be mad at you. You had no idea you had another daughter. I managed to convince Karen to stay here tonight.” 
“That’s great, you can sleep in Sere…na’s room,” Lucy stopped when she thought about what she had said. 
“Where’s the bathroom?” Karen asked quickly, covering her mouth as everything hit her at once in a nauseating wave. 
Livvie grabbed her other hand and hurried her down the hallway. Karen dropped to her knee, vomiting into the toilet. Livvie crouched down next to her, rubbing her back. 
“You really don’t have to stick around for this. I drank so much, I think I’ll be spending the rest of the night in here.” 
“It’s fine, I don’t mind,” Livvie insisted, not moving. 
“Thank you,” Karen said before throwing up again. 
Back in the living room, Lucy was shaking her head. 
“I can’t believe I said that! This poor girl is upset enough without me having to go and mention Serena! Doc, those two are so close, it must me killing Karen to know that they’re not really sisters. And Serena, how do you explain this to her?” 
“This is just one of the many questions we have to deal with. I honestly don’t think there’s a right way to explain it. Either way, there’s confusion and heartbreak involved,” Kevin shrugged his shoulders. 
“It’s a long, bumpy road ahead and as your wife, I’m ready to stick it out. No matter what happens, we’ll do this together,” Lucy vowed, touching his cheek. 
“You truly are astounding. Any other woman would have some major issues with finding out that their husband has not one, but two illegitimate children her knew nothing about.” 
“Well, no one ever said I was an ordinary woman,” Lucy smiled through the tears in her eyes, “I want things to work out between you and Karen. You’re an incredible father to Livvie and I know you will be that for Karen, too. The universe is on our side on this one and I just have this feeling that Karen will come around and accept the fact that you’re her father.” 
“I really hope you’re right, Lucy,” He said, kissing her forehead. 

“Please tell me I don’t look as bad as I feel,” Karen moaned, leaning back against the bathtub. 
“I wish I could,” Livvie said, handing her a wet cloth, “Let’s get you to bed so you can sleep this off.” 
Karen covered her face with her hands and couldn’t help crying. 
“How do I tell Serena? She depends on me to be her big sister. I love that little girl and I have to disappoint her. She’s going to hate me.” 
“No Karen, she could never hate you. We’ll worry about this tomorrow, but now, you need to rest. You can sleep in my bed, I’ll just crash on the floor,” Livvie offered, helping her off the floor. 
“Why are you being so nice to me? I treated you horribly outside.” 
“I have an idea of what you’re going through and we might not know each other very well, but we’re family. I’ve been an only child my whole life and now that I know I have a sister, I want to do this right. I’m not going to act like a spoiled brat who refuses to share her father. Whether I want to accept it or not, he’s your father, too and that makes us sisters. So, the best thing to do is work at becoming a family.” 
“I don’t know if I’m ready for that, Livvie. This is just too much all at once and I can’t do it.” 
“Just get some sleep,” Livvie said as they entered her room. 
Karen climbed into the bed and passed out before Livvie could even open her mouth to speak. She gently touched her hand before going down to the living room to find her father and Lucy. 
“I gave Karen my bed, she should be out for the night.” 
“Thank you for being so understanding. I know how tough this must be for you, but I’m really proud of how maturely you’re handling things,” Kevin praised, hugging her before she went back upstairs, “I should call Rhonda and let her know where Karen is.” 
Lucy dialed the number and handed Kevin the phone. 
“Hi Rhonda, it’s Kevin Collins…yes, I know everything, Karen showed up here a little while ago…we can deal with it later. I just wanted to let you know that she’s here and she’s safe…you’re welcome, but she’s…she’s my daughter, too and I want to look out for her…I will, good night.” 
“I don’t know about you, but this night has completely worn me out. What do you say we go to bed?” 
“I say you’re right,” Kevin sighed as he and Lucy went hand-in-hand up the stairs. 

NOTE: In this story, Caleb never came back after turning to dust on the hospital roof... 

Chapter 6- 
Karen sat up quickly, taking in her surroundings. Seeing that the previous night wasn’t a nightmare and that she was in Livvie’s room at the lighthouse, she let out an annoyed breath. Her stomach screamed out in a nauseous pain as she remembered what had happened. Quietly, she got out of bed, not wanting to wake Livvie, and went to her desk to look for a piece of paper. She scribbled a quick note thanking Livvie, but saying that she needed her space. She left it on the pillow after she made the bed, grabbed her purse and rushed off to work. 

“Rhonda? Two days in a row? Are you trying to work up the courage to ask me out or something?” Scott joked. 
She managed to fake a laugh as she followed his gesture to come in. 
“No, um…I have something to tell you.” 
“You sound pretty serious. Is it about Karen?” 
“And you.”
“What? Please don’t tell me she’s not speaking to me because of the other night!” 
“No, that has nothing to do with this. I…do you remember the dance, back in ’73?” 
“Of course I remember! Karen was conceived that night,” Scott recalled. 
“Well, then you remember that I was drunk that night and apparently, I blacked out.” 
“Rhonda, you’ve lost me.” 
“I had this weird dream the other night, but it wasn’t really a dream, it was a memory. I guess when I blacked out, I repressed the memory and for whatever reason, it came to me a few days ago,” Rhonda explained, not knowing exactly how to tell this man that his daughter wasn’t really his as he listened to intently, “Scott, I was with another man that night.” 
“No, you couldn’t have been! You…” 
“its true. I’m not proud of it, but it happened. When I came over yesterday, I took some hair and…” 
“Don’t! This is crazy, Rhonda! I’m Karen’s father, you said so back when she was getting married!” Scott denied, pacing the room. 
“I’m sorry, Scott!” Rhonda cried, “I honestly thought you were her father. I wouldn’t have told you if there was any foreseeable doubt!” 
“No, we’re just starting to get to know each other!” Scott yelled, trying not to fall apart, “I love her, Serena loves her…we’re so much alike, hoe can you say she’s not mine?” 
“I never wanted any of this to happen! It devastated me to have to tell Karen that you weren’t her father after I had waited so many years to tell her you were.” 
“Wait, you already told her? Is she okay? How did she handle it?” 
“She took off,” Rhonda shrugged her shoulders, “She went to the lighthouse…” 
“The lighthouse?” Was she looking for a shrink?” 
“Scott…I really don’t know how to say this, so I’m going to keep it simple…” 
“Hold it! You’re not serious!” 
“Kevin is her father. There is no doubt about it this time, he’s her father,” Rhonda confessed. 
Scott’s jaw about his the floor and he was unable to speak. 
“I’m sorry, Scott, I really am. I realize how much damage I’ve done and I wish it didn’t have to be this way.” 
“I need some time to process this…” Scott managed to say, opening the front door. 
“I understand,” Was all she said before leaving. 
Scott closed the door and went back to the couch. Breathing deeply, he tried to keep it together, but couldn’t. Tears fell down his cheeks and he leaned back, not bothering to wipe them away. 

“Good morning, Dad,” Livvie kissed him on the cheek, “Morning Lucy.” 
“How did you sleep?” Kevin asked, pouring her a glass of juice. 
“Not too bad, considering. You two look like you were up all night.” 
“We were. We talked all night, trying to make sense of all this and figure out how to handle it,” Lucy explained. 
“Is Karen still sleeping?”
“No…she’s gone. I found this note on the pillow.” 
Kevin sighed after he read it, not exactly surprised. 
“I wonder if she’s working today. I should call the hospital.” 
“Doc, she said she needed some space, you have to give that to her.” 
“I just want to know where she is. I’m not going to see her, I just want to know.” 
“You’re a good man, Kevin Collins,” Lucy smiled, touching his cheek. 
“And an even better father,” Livvie pitched in, “I need to get to class. Please call me if anything happens.” 
“I will,” Kevin assured her as she left, “She’s becoming an incredible woman.” 
“She has definitely matured since she first came to town. I think that whole Caleb mess played a big part in that. After destroying him on the roof, I thought life was going to get back to normal, especially for her, but this is far from it.” 
“Well, like you said, she’s matured and she has us and Jack, so I have faith she’ll be able to handle this.” 
“I should get to the office, I have a company to run! Good luck with Rhonda,” Lucy offered, kissing him before heading to work. 
“Thanks, I’ll need it,” He sighed, grabbing his keys and following her out the door. 

Karen emerged from the bathroom in the on-call room in a fresh pair of scrubs. She had taken her second shower that day after dealing with a messy trauma down in the ER. It was only almost noon and already, the day was in chaos. She went over to the desk and flipped on the radio, collapsing on the bottom bunk. 
Had a bad day again 
She said I would not understand 
She left a note and said I’m sorry I 
Had a bad day again 

“Perfect,” Karen muttered, staring at the bottom of the bed above her. 

She spilled her coffee, broke her shoelace 
Smeared the lipstick on her face 
Slammed the door and said I’m sorry I 
Had a bad day again 

And she swears nothing’s wrong 
I hear her playing the same old song 
She puts me off and puts me on 

“What are you listening to, Karen,” Chris made a face, coming in the door. 
“My theme song,” She answered, not looking at him. 

And had a bad day again 
She said I would not understand 
Left a note and said I’m sorry I 
Had a bad day again 

“Oh, things can’t be that bad,” He said, switching off the radio before the end of the song. 
‘What do you know? You spend all your time at work, playing the big, bad Chief Resident. You have no clue what my life is like,” She shot at him, sitting up and moving to the edge of the bed. 
“Are you treating me like this because I got your job?” 
“Get over yourself, Chris, I’m treating you like this because you’re a pain in the…” 
“Ah, ah, watch your language, doctor. Look, you’re right, I don’t know, but you do seem all uptight about something. I’m willing to listen if you want to talk,” Chris offered in a serious tone. 
“Where is Chris Ramsey and what have you done with him in the past five seconds?” Karen asked, skeptically. 
“Nice try, it’s still me. I’m serious, Karen, you can talk to me. What’s got you in such a mood?” 
“My life has been turned completely upside down…oh, and did I mention inside out?” 
“Am I going to get details, or is this all I get to work with?” Chris asked, but before she could say anything, his pager went off, “Hold that thought, I have to take this.” 
She nodded as he ducked into his office, relieved that she didn’t have to reveal anything. She wasn’t ready to talk about it and especially not to someone she didn’t even consider a friend. 
Realizing the pounding in her head wasn’t going anywhere, she got up and went to her locker to get some Tylenol. She hated taking any medication, but she couldn’t stand the headache any longer. She popped two into her mouth and swallowed as Chris came out of his office. He stood back for a second, but decided to take the chance. 
“Karen, don’t get mad at me, but I have to ask…please tell me that wasn’t what I think it was.” 
“Chill Ramsey, it was Tylenol. Got wasted away in Margaritaville last night and my head it killing me.” 
“Good,” He sighed in relief, “Well, not that you have a headache, but…” 
“I get it,” Karen held up her hand to stop him, “It would be nice to take just one pill. Just enough to take your mind off things for a bit…but it’s never just one. No, us addicts like to over do it!” 
“Alright, again, don’t hate me, but can I make a suggestion? Maybe you should think about hitting a meeting tonight. Whatever’s going on is really getting to you and a meeting might be your safest bet.” 
She glared at him for a moment, hating that he was right. Hating that she was taking advice from Chris Ramsey! 
“I think you’re right, Chris,” She agreed. 
“You do?” He asked in surprise. 
“As soon as I get off, I’ll hit a meeting. Thank you.” 
“For what, I didn’t do anything.” 
“For sticking around to listen even after I snapped at you.” 
“Eh, don’t mention it,” He said, going back to his office. 
Karen shook her head and thought about pinching herself to see if she was dreaming or if Chris had actually just been totally selfless! 

Bad Day by Fuel off their album Something Like Human 

Chapter Seven

Chapter 7- 
“How did your classes go?” Jack asked, trying to get a conversation started and to break the awkward silence, “Did something happen?” 
“No, why would you think that?” Livvie replied, playing with the straw in her soda. 
“You seem pretty distant. Like you’re working things over in your head.” 
“I guess I am, but it has nothing to do with school. When you dropped me off last night, there was someone there…I walked in just in time to hear Karen Wexler tell Kevin that he’s her father.” 
“You’re kidding, right? I mean, another long-lost daughter? This sounds like a soap opera.” 
“I wish it was, but it’s true. I even accused Karen of making the story up, but when I saw the despair in her eyes, I couldn’t help but put myself in her shoes. I grew up without a father, but at least my mother didn’t tell me it was one guy and then years later tell me it’s someone else!” 
“Yeah, that’s really got to be tough. So, you have a sister, huh? How do you feel about that?” 
“Well, it’ll take some getting used to, but I’ve always wondered what it would be like to have siblings. Of course, I never expected to have any older ones! We talked a bit…once the yelling and accusations stopped…and we got along pretty well. It’s going to take a while for us to get used to being sisters, but I think it’ll work out,” Livvie said with hope in her voice. 
“You know, I really hope it does. I’d hate for you to be in my situation. Living in the same town as your sibling and knowing they want nothing to do with you.” 
“I wish you could patch things up with your brother. I know how much it hurts you.” 
“Well, maybe someday, but for now, let’s focus on you and getting your family on track,” Jack stated, reaching across the table to take her hand. 
“I really hope we can,” Livvie said, holding on to her optimism. 

Hearing a knock on his front door, Kevin got up from the table to answer it. He opened it to find a nervous looking Rhonda, who was anxiously biting her bottom lip. 
“Rhonda, please come in, have a seat.” He said, motioning to the couch. 
“”Kevin, I…now, I know that I shouldn’t expect you to believe me, but I swear to you, I had no recollection of our…encounter, until the other night. I was so messed up that night…between the drinking and seeing Scotty with all those other girls, and him not even knowing I existed…” Rhonda told him, trying to keep it all together. 
“I don’t blame you, Rhonda. I’ve thought about it and we’re both responsible. I never even imagined that you were Cookie, or that she was even still in Port Charles. I asked my friend about you, but she was pretty new to the school and didn’t know a Cookie, or even have a yearbook for me to look at,” Kevin shrugged his shoulders. 
“I promise you, if I had had even the slightest feeling that another man could be Karen’s father, I would have had the test run. It’s bad enough I was too selfish to tell her who I had thought was her father, sooner, but for it to be a lie…I’ve really messed things up.” 
“You know, despite how this is all coming out, I don’t regret our time together, short as it was. We might have barely known each other, but look at what we got out of our encounter. A beautiful, healthy, intelligent daughter, who has a successful career in medicine.” 
“She really is amazing. I certainly didn’t make things easy for her growing up. She had to be the adult and take care of me…she’s been through some pretty horrible things, but seems to always come out of the situations stronger. As upset as she is now, I think that she will come to accept you as her father.” 
“I really hope so, because I want to be a father to her. I know I can’t make up for lost time, but we can build from here,” He vowed. 
“Thank you, Kevin. Thank you for being so accepting and not choosing to ignore her.” 
“I could never do that, no matter what.” 
“I have to ask, how is Lucy dealing with all this? I know her feelings towards Karen, and…” 
“Lucy isn’t going to interfere. She wants us to work things out and get to know each other. Even Livvie is handling it well.” 
“I’m so relieved to hear you say that. I honestly didn’t think Lucy would try to keep you away from her, I just had to hear you say it.” 
“We’re just going to have to take it one step at a time…” The phone interrupted Kevin, “Kevin Collins…alright, I’ll be right there…” He said before hanging up, “I hate to do this, but one of my patients was brought into the ER and I have to get down there.” 
“I understand. Thank you for meeting with me. I’m really sorry about how it all came out. I was going to tell you myself, she beat me to it.” 
“There’s nothing we can do about that now, so all we can do is go forward,” He told her, lightly touching her hand, then following her out the door. 

Karen stood outside the door, not sure why she was so afraid to go inside. It had been at least a month and a half, if not two, since she had been to a meeting. She breathed slowly, grabbing the handle, and pulling the door open. Gently stepping inside, she noticed some people standing around talking while others were sitting patiently, waiting for the meeting to start. Moving towards the coffee pot, she stopped when she heard a voice behind her say her name. 
“Karen, I haven’t seen you in here for a while now. How are things?” 
“Hi Greg, things were going pretty well, but this past week has been…rough…a co-worker suggested that I hit a meeting, so here I am.” 
“You did the right thing by listening to them. You doctors like to think that you can always keep in control, but we both know that no one is immune to addiction. I’m glad that you’re taking steps to keep whatever’s going on from taking over. When things get rough, this is the place to be, and I’m here if you want to talk,” The older man spoke softly, “There’s someone I need to see before I get this meeting started, will you be around later, Karen?” 
“Sure,” Karen forced a smile, before turning to the coffee pot. 
“Ooo, a doctor, huh? From the way Greg was talking, I take it you’re not here to give us a little speech,” A sarcastic, woman’s voice came out of nowhere as she slid next to Karen, “So, what’s up, Doc? You sampling the medication?” 
“Excuse me?” Karen asked, squaring off with the woman. 
“I’m just trying to guess your drug of choice,” She said, studying Karen, “You look too prissy for heroin…or even coke…hmm, could be alcohol…” 
“Who do you think you are? Making assumptions about me? You don’t know me and I think I’d rather keep it that way!” 
“Aw, c’mon, I was just trying to get a conversation started. You don’t have to get all worked up about it.” 
“You don’t make friends by insulting them,” Karen said in an irritated tone. 
“Sorry, guess I missed that lesson in charm school!” She snorted, pouring two cups of coffee, “Here, maybe this’ll help chill you out.” 
“Are you always so rude and obnoxious?” 
“Nah, you caught me on a good day,” She winked, “But seriously, I heard Greg say your name, so I know you’re Karen. I’m Cori.’ 
“Well, I can’t exactly say it’s been nice to meet you, but seeing as how you’re so observant, I’m sure you figured that out already!” 
“Oh Karen, that’s too bad, ‘cause I think you’re quite pleasant!” Cori said sarcastically. 
“Isn’t there someone else you can annoy?” 
“Hmm…no. I’m here as the welcoming committee, seeing as how I’ve never seen you here before.” 
“In that case, I think I’d rather feel unwelcome,” Karen rolled her eyes, walking away, leaving Cori, who was smiling to herself. 
She took a seat and sipped her coffee, shaking her head. That entire meeting with Cori had totally confused her and she wasn’t sure quite what to make of it. She was sure, however, that having to talk to Cori again would be enough to drive her completely insane. 

Colleen sat at the nurse’s station, finishing up a phone call as Karen stepped off the elevator. 
“Good morning, Dr. Wexler, your father was looking for you. He left a message here for you to meet him in the on-call room.” 
“My father?” Karen asked, an uncomfortable feeling washing over her at the mention of the word. 
“Yeah, Scott, your father.” 
“Oh, Scott, right. Thanks Colleen,” She said quickly, then went down the hall, leaving Colleen looking befuddled. 
As she came upon the on-call room door, she couldn’t fight the nervousness. She knew that none of this was her fault, but she was still afraid to face him. She opened the door and stepped inside to find him sitting on the couch looking just as nervous as she did. 
“Karen…I…I’m sorry to bother you at work, but I thought we should talk. Your mother came to see me the other day…” He started, not knowing quite where to begin. 
“I’m so sorry about all this. I never wanted it to happen,” She cried. 
“This is not your fault, you have nothing to apologize for. No one wanted this to happen, but it did and we just have to learn to deal with it. Now, Kevin and I might not be the best of friends, but even I can admit that he’s a great father…better then I could ever be.” 
“I never thought you were a bad father, Scott. Neither one of us really knew how to build a relationship.” 
“Yeah, but I could have tried harder. I know that I missed up, and just because I was too stupid to tell you, I want you to know that I’ve always been proud of you. Don’t ever think that I loved you any less then I do Serena. You might not be my daughter by blood, but that doesn’t mean that I’m going to just stop caring about you.” 
Crying, Karen hugged Scott and suddenly, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders. 
“I love you, too, Scott and I’m not going to just treat you like someone I pass in the hallways. You will always be special to me. I just wish Serena didn’t have to be involved in any of this.” 
“I know…I haven’t told her yet. I talked to Lee and Gail about it last night, but Serena…I’m still trying to figure out how to tell her,” He said, running his hand through his hair. 
“I don’t have the courage to tell her and disappoint her,” Karen said through her tears. 
“You’re stronger then you give yourself credit for, Karen,” He told her, lifting her chin to meet her eyes, “Just because it’s not my blood running through your veins, it doesn’t mean that I can’t see how exceptional you are. Kevin is one lucky man to get such an incredible daughter.” 
Karen turned away, unable to look at him. She stood up and walked over to the window. 
“I don’t know how to do it, Scott. If we couldn’t figure it out, how am I going to be able to turn around and let him in?” 
“I wish I knew, but if I did, then we wouldn’t have had our problems. Kevin seems to have done well with Livvie, so I think as long as you’re willing to accept him, you can work things out.” 
Karen turned to face him, tears still on her cheeks, as Chris came in. 
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt…” 
“You didn’t, I was actually just getting ready to leave,” He walked to the door, “We’ll get through this, Karen,” He said, then left. 
“You look pretty upset, was it clash of the Baldwin’s in here?” 
Karen buried her face in her hands, sobbing. 
“Hey, I’m sorry, I should have just minded my own business,” He said, walking over to her and hugging her. 
“I’m…I’m not a Baldwin,” She admitted, sinking onto the bed. 
“What do you mean?” 
“Scott isn’t my father…he’s not my biological father.” 
“Wow, I can’t believe it. Do you know who is? I mean, you don’t have to tell me, but…” 
“Oh, I’m sure it’ll get out sooner or later, though I’d still like it if you kept it between us.” 
“I won’t say a word, I promise,” He agreed, frowning slightly at seeing the pain in her eyes. 
“Well, if I ever changed my name, we’d have two Dr. Collins’s on staff,” She told him. 
“Kevin Collins is your father? That’s…wow, I didn’t see that coming,” Chris answered, surprised. 
“Yeah, well, neither did I. I’m still in shock.” 
“No wonder you were such a wreck the other day. That’s quite the bombshell.” 
“I just…I don’t even know who I am anymore! What do I do? Where do I go, Chris?” She asked, feeling oddly comfortable opening up to him. 
“You’re still the same Karen Wexler you’ve always been. You’ve always been a Collins, you just didn’t know it.” 
“I like Kevin, I really do, but I don’t know how to accept him as my father. Scott and I did everything wrong from day one and I just don’t know how to do it right,” She stood up, throwing her hands in the air in defeat as her pager went off,” It’s the ER, I gotta go.” 
“Are you going to be okay?” He asked, clearly concerned. 
“Oh, I’ll figure something out. Anything to keep from falling apart at the seams.” 
“Why don’t you come over to my place for dinner tonight? Just a friendly dinner to take your mind off things,” Chris suggested. 
“I’ll think about it, thanks for listening to my ramblings,” She said, leaving. 

“Eve, have you seen Karen around by any chance?” Kevin asked, running into her in the hall. 
“She was just paged to the ER. Is it important? I can take a message for you.” 
“No, that’s alright, just, if you see her, let her know I was looking for her. I’ll head to the ER and see if I can catch her.” 
“I didn’t realize you two were so close.” 
“Closer then you could imagine…but I’d rather not get into it right now. Thanks Eve,” He said, before walking to the elevator. 
Eve stood there with a puzzled look on her face as she tried to figure out what Kevin wasn’t telling her and just what his connection to Karen was. 

“Someone paged me,” Karen said, finding Denise at the desk. 
“Yes, you’re needed in curtain two. Patient got into a brawl with her boyfriend and he busted up her face,” Denise informed her. 
Karen shook her head in disgust and went to examine the patient. Gaby was standing in front of her, holding a cloth to her face. 
“What do we have here, Gaby?” She asked, approaching. 
Hearing Karen’s voice, the patient leaned her head around Gaby to see her. 
“Hey Doc, I hope you’re good ‘cause I’m in pain here.” 
“Cori?” Karen said in shock, barely recognizing her battered face. 
 

“I sort of got into a little fight…” Cori told her, “I wasn’t going to bother coming here, but this cut wouldn’t stop bleeding.” 
“”You’re going to need a few stitches in that, I’ll go get the suture kit,” Gaby said, leaving. 
“A little fight? How did this happen, Cori? You’re pretty beat up,” Karen asked, starting to examine her. 
“Hey, you should see the other guy! I held my own rather well, thank you.” 
“So, you fought back?” 
“I started it. Jimmy came home drunk, again, even after me asking him to stop drinking. His band was playing at a club and he came home reeking of alcohol and with lipstick all over his neck. That bastard was making out with some chick and of course I flipped! I swung at him and it ended with him finally storming out,” Cori explained, wincing as Karen checked for broken ribs. 
“So, you two beat each other up? Is this the first time this has happened?” 
“No, it’s actually the second time. The first was back when I was still drinking. Though, this is the first time that I’ve had proof that that jerk is cheating on me. People warned me about dating musicians, but did I listen?” 
“Cori, you need to get away from this guy before you two end up killing each other! I can help you find someone to talk to, my grand…I know of a few psychiatrists I can recommend for you,” Karen offered. 
“Yeah, I’ll think about it…so, am I going to live, Doc?” 
Karen cringed at being called Lucy’s nickname for Kevin. It felt all-too-weird and she couldn’t ignore it any longer. 
“Okay, can you not call me that!” 
“Sorry, Dr. Wexler,” Cori said in a mocking tone, reading her name off her ID tag. 
Gaby entered the small room, feeling the tension in the air. 
“Everything alright in here?” She asked, handing Karen the syringe. 
“Just fine, Karen and I were just…ow!…having a little chat,” Cori yelled in pain as Karen injected the Novocain into the laceration next to her left eye. 
“I can close this with five stitches, so you won’t have a big scar and nothing is broken, so you got pretty lucky,” Karen said, stitching her up, “I’ve got this, Gaby, you don’t need to stick around.” 
“So, what was with that little freak out?” Cori asked when Gaby had left. 
“I don’t need to explain myself to you.” 
“Oh, come on. I’ve told you more then enough about me. Hell, I’m letting you come near me with needles!” 
“It’s not like you had a choice! He could have seriously hurt you, Cori.” 
“Look, I know that, but me leaving him means I end up living on the streets, so until I find a place, I’ll deal with Jimmy.” 
“Whatever…so, you should come back in about a week to have those stitches removed. Make an appointment with whoever’s at the desk,” Karen told her, putting a bandage over the wound. 
“Well, thanks for fixing me up, Doc…tor Wexler,” Cori said, carefully getting off the gurney and strolling out. 
Karen tore off her gloves, throwing them in the trash in frustration. 
“You okay?” Gaby asked, coming in. 
“I just don’t understand that woman. She acts all tough and like she just doesn’t care, but you can tell it’s just an act. When I met her the other day, she was just so irritating, but now, I’m seeing that there’s more to it,” Karen explained with a sigh. 
“Some people just aren’t meant to be figured out. I actually came in to give you a message. Kevin Collins wants you to meet him in his office when you get a chance.” 
“Really?” Karen asked, a bit surprised, “Thanks Gaby, I’ll head up there in a few.” 
 
 
 

“So, have you heard from Karen?” Jack asked as he worked on the motorcycle in front of him. 
“No, but I really didn’t expect to. No one’s really had time to let this set in,” Livvie answered. 
“I can imagine. You remember what it was like with Chris when I first came to town. Granted the situation was completely different, but…” 
“I get what you’re trying to say, Jack. Though, at least he apologized for locking you in that cage. That’s a step in the right direction.” 
“I guess so. It should be interesting for you and Karen to get to know each other. You guys can talk about that medical, doctor-type stuff,” Jack said, reaching for a rag to wipe off his hands. 
“Oh, I’m sure it will be interesting. From little things I’ve heard, my big sister has quite a past…” Livvie started, but was interrupted. 
“Whoa, your what? Say that again,” Alison inquired, hurrying in. 
 
 

Karen cautiously knocked on the door, seriously considering just turning and walking away. Before she could, the door opened and she was met by Kevin. 
“Karen, I see you got my message, come in,” He invited, leading her to the couch, “I’m actually kind of surprised you came.” 
“To be honest, so am I, but we can’t exactly keep avoiding each other when we work in the same hospital.” 
“I know you need your space, but I just had to see you and make sure you were alright. I was worried…” 
“You don’t have to worry about me, Kevin, I’ll be fine,” Karen shrugged her shoulders. 
“Karen, I’m your father, I can’t help but worry,” He expressed his concern, “No matter how much I think about it, it still feels strange to say the words.” 
“Hearing the words is even harder. For eighteen years, I didn’t have anyone to call my father and now…” Karen trailed off, looking away. 
“It should not have had to be like that.” 
“But it was and we can’t change that. The past is the past and it can’t be changed.” 
“I just meant that you shouldn’t have had to suffer because of the mistakes that your mother and I made.” 
“Mistake? By that, you mean me!” Karen said, jumping to her feet and not hiding the hurt in her voice. 
“No Karen, that’s not how I meant it. I was referring to the fact that we didn’t try harder to find each other and that your mother was drinking,” He tried to explain. 
“It’s alright, Kevin, I realize that my presence is like some bad nightmare that you can’t wake up from. You don’t have to pretend that you actually want to deal with me. I’ll get out of your hair now,” She snapped, feeling her emotions stir and not knowing exactly how to deal with it. 
“Karen wait, that’s not what’s going on here. I want to get to know you, I want to spend time with you,” He insisted, putting his hands on her arms to turn her to face him, “You’re my daughter and I accept that. I want to be your father.” 
Kevin looked straight into Karen’s eyes, hoping she would see the sincerity in his. She did, but couldn’t help looking away. For a reason that she herself was still unclear on, she just couldn’t fully accept it. 
“I…I can’t do this…not now,” Karen tearfully pulled away. 
She hurried out of his office, leaving Kevin standing there, alone.