All characters belong to Joss Whedon, The WB Network, and 20th Century Fox. I am just a fan.

All he saw was light. It was blinding, excruciating. He reached out and touched her hair.

“Buffy, I got you,” he said, relief overwhelming him.

Just as he was about to take her in his arms, an invisible force pulled her from his grasp and he felt himself falling. Falling into the darkness. Falling away from Buffy. He struggled against the intense barrier, his arms extended towards his Slayer. But, the force was too powerful and she was slipping further away from him. His desperate cries echoed in his ears, but she could no longer hear him.

“Buffy! Buffy, no!”

“No!” Spike gasped, as he awoke with a start.

Beads of sweat rolled down his chiseled features and he buried his head in his hands.

“Not again,” he whispered.

It was the same dream every night. The same painful memories that haunted his every waking moment. The guilt, regret, and the loss. The loss was almost too much to bear. It was all he knew now. His life, or unlife rather, was empty. Completely void of any purpose. The one person he cherished most, the one person he loved more than anything was taken away from him.

And it was all his fault.

“Quit your frettin’...we’ll get to her in time. You’ll see.”

Buffy had a glazed expression in her eyes, but she nodded anyway.

Spike and Buffy sat side by side, shoulder to shoulder against the battered RV. The gang slept soundly inside, but Buffy couldn’t sleep. Not while knowing that Glory had Dawn. She could barely even breathe, let alone sleep.

Spike sighed and placed his head back against the stolen vehicle. Seeing Buffy so depressed and vunerable left him with a bad taste in his mouth. He needed to be there for her. Every since that day she kissed him, they had been connecting on a more emotional level. She finally trusted him and that’s all Spike wanted from her now. All he could ask of her.

Her voice broke into his thoughts.

“I’ve been thinking lately...about Mom. She asked me to take care of Dawn. I promised I’d make sure she was safe. You know, just in case...”

Her words became one with the wind.

“I’m so scared.”

Spike glanced at her. He noticed a single tear roll down her tender cheek. Fighting the urge to kiss it away, he tried to think of something to say to calm her fears. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much he could say. He was just as scared as she was.

“Buffy,” he said, turning towards her.

She closed her eyes.

“You’re gonna get through this. You’re strong, you’re determined and there’s nothin’ can’t do. I know for a bleedin’ fact, you’re gonna make it. You’re the Slayer. You’re Buffy. You’re...”

Spike couldn’t bring himself to finish the sentence. You’re my everything, he thought to himself.

Buffy lifted her head and found his eyes. He really believed she could do this. Unfortunately, she wasn’t as strong as he thought she was. Not with this kinda stuff. The emotional, personal battles were the hardest. Almost more than she could handle. Nevertheless, the way he expressed his complete faith in her...that she would get through this, made her want to believe it herself. The guy had a way with words, she would give him that much.

“Thank you”, she said, her voice just above a whisper.

She gently placed her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes once again. For the first time that whole week, she was content.

Spike took a final long drag from his cigarette, before tossing it to the ground and smashing it harshly with the toe of his shoe. He sat on the cement tombstone and let the smoke out through his nose. This is how his life had been for the past year. Ever since...

He watched the tall, black haired girl as she fought off a pack of burly vamps. Her long hair swung with each punch, with each kick. In no time at all, three piles of dust lay before her feet. Spike wasn’t impressed. The girl lacked the enthusiasm, the vivacity. Basically, all the qualities that were Buffy. The new Slayer didn’t even compare to the love of his life.

Spike hopped off the stone slab and headed back to his crypt. He’d seen enough for one evening. The new Slayer brought back too many painful memories, that Spike just couldn’t deal with. But, no matter how hard he tried push Buffy’s face out of his mind, it was no use. She plagued his thoughts day by day, minute after minute.

If it wasn’t for that sodding chip in his skull, he would have lost it. After, the day...all he wanted to do was go on a killing spree. When Buffy was around, he had lost all interest in killing humans...she changed him. But, not anymore. With her gone, there was no reason to go on anymore...no reason to do good. He just couldn’t live without her. Sure, he thought about a suicide mission. Thought about just ending his endless torment. But, what good would it do? He would never go to where Buffy was. He would be even further from her. That thought made his stomach turn.

He needed a drink.

“I will not let you get yourself bloody killed!”

Buffy whipped around, tears drenching her face as he grabbed her arm. She removed herself from his grasp.

“Stay out of this, Spike. I’m going.”

Her tone was hard in that “don’t-mess-with-me” kind of way.

“Like hell you are.”

“Sh-She killed him!” She screamed.

“And she’ll kill you.”

Her bottom lip trembled.

“I don’t care.”

“Well, I damn well do!”

“You don’t understand, Spike! You couldn’t possibly understand. She’s taken away someone I loved with all my heart. I will not let her get away with it. I won’t.”

Fresh tears threatened to pour out, but she fought them back.

“Listen to me,” Spike told her. “I know how much Giles meant to you...”

Buffy flinched at his name.

“...and I know how much you mean to me. I can’t lose you.”

And then the tears came. All at once, and she couldn’t stop them. She buried her face in her hands and sobbed hysterically to the point where she couldn’t even stand anymore.

Spike immediately pulled her to him. Her precious tears soaked his black shirt and her body shook relentlessly in his arms. This time there were no words to make her feel better. All he could do was hold her.

Spike heard his crypt door swing open. To this day, he always jumped up, ready to see the Slayer come marching through the entrance.

“Buffy?” He asked softly.

Dawn stepped in and gave him a small smile.

“Oh, it’s you.”

Why did she continue coming here? Didn’t she realize how it pained him to see her? To see the last of the Summers’ women?

“Sorry,” she told him, her smile fading. “I’ll go.”

Spike let out a sigh and approached her.

“Don’t bother. You can stay. Do...your parents know you’re here?”

She nodded.

Spike was still hesitant to call Xander and Anya her “parents”, but after they got married, they decided to adopt her. With Giles and...Buffy gone.

He set down his bottle of vodka and gestured for her to come in.

Dawn stolled over to his coffin and hopped up onto it.

“You know,” she told him. “Alcohol won’t solve anything.”

“What do you bloody know?” He asked.

“Spike, I’m not stupid. It won’t make everything better again...it won’t bring her back.”

The words stung.

“I know.”

“But, you miss her.”

“It’s that obvious?”

“Yeah.”

A long silence settled between them. He did more than miss her. He ached for her. He would give anything just to hold her in his arms...to hear her voice...to smell her scent...

“It wasn’t your fault, you know.”

Spike jerked his head up, but didn’t answer.

“No one blames you. There was nothing you could have done.”

“Rot,” he mumbled to himself.

Dawn frowned.

“That’s what you think? You think Buffy’s gone because of you? Well, you’re wrong. You risked your life for her. Not many people would do that...would sacrafice. She was lucky just to know someone like you, Spike. We all are.”

For the first time in a long time, Spike smiled.

“Since when did you become so insightful, little bit?”

She smiled back.

“Big sis taught me well.”

Spike lowered his head, his eyes becoming sad. He cleared his throat.

“Well, you better run along then. There’s not much to do here in a dank ol’ crypt, anyway. Besides, it’s gettin’ late. Your mum and dad will be frettin’.”

Dawn jumped down from the cold coffin and headed towards the door. She faced him once more before leaving.

“It’ll get better,” she told him. “It has to.”

With that, she turned and left the crypt.

“Guess I didn’t kill you enough the first time, huh?” Glory told him mockingly, mid-punch.

Spike blocked it and kicked her in the stomach, sending her to the ground. She threw a wooden chair across the room and picked up one of the broken legs.

“So, I say we try this one more time. That sound good to you, precious?”

She aimed it at his heart, but Buffy charged at her and kicked the stake out of her hand. Glory laughed and focused her attention on Buffy.

“I really liked killing your Watcher, ya know.”

Spike watched Buffy’s eyes turn to stone, but she made no effort to attack the god standing before them.

“I mean, he wasn’t much of a challenge. Stick the knife in, pull the knife out. Same old, same old. But you on the other hand...you could be lots of fun to play with.”

Just then, the Scoobies came bursting through the door. Glory rolled her eyes.

“This isn’t a party, people. It’s a ritual...a quaint little ritual between me and my Key!”

Everyone watched as Glory yanked out an unconcious Dawn from under the bed. She was all tied up and had tape covering her mouth.

“Dawn,” Buffy whispered.

“Not now...” Spike replied.

She looked up at him with fear and uncertainty in her eyes.

“Not now,” he repeated.

Glory laughed. Well, more like a cackle really. She looked at the 14-year old that lay limp in her arms.

“You guys wanna watch? Free show.”

No one attempted to make a move.

Glory nodded with a satisfied grin on her face.

“Well, then...enjoy.”

She threw her head back and screamed, raising Dawn towards the ceiling. Then, she chanted until a huge white portal opened up right before their eyes.

“No, Dawnie!” Buffy screeched.

Buffy lunged at the god, and Dawn fell to the floor, still unconcious.

“Get off me! Can’t you see I’m busy?!”

They fought like savage beasts, pulling hair, raking nails, throwing kicks and punches left and right. Soon, the rest of the gang joined in and after about five minutes of fierce fighting, Spike scooped up Dawn in his arms and began to carry her out the door. Buffy’s scream made him whip around. All of her friends lay hurt on the floor and Glory had Buffy by the neck. He immediately set Dawn down and rushed over to the the two enemies. Spike grabbed Glory around the waist and threw her towards the portal. She dodged it and began attacking him. Buffy looked over to Dawn then back at Glory and Spike. She realized the only way to stop her was to send her into the portal...alone. Without Dawn, she would be stuck there forever. Buffy made a split second decision. Death was her gift? So be it.

Spike wandered aimlessly throught the cemetery without much of a destination. He walked, smoked, thought...thought about Buffy. His life didn’t get anymore entertaining than this. He leaned against the big oak tree and stared at her house that still had a “For Sale” sign sticking out of the front yard. It had been a year, but it was still there. He had watched the many interested customers go in and come out, unsatisfied. He feared the day when it would finally be sold and he would have to let go of one more thing.

Spike closed his eyes and tossed his cigarette butt to the ground. After about ten more minutes of just standing there, he turned around and came face to face a woman. He narrowed his eyebrows and for a moment it was Buffy’s face he saw. The image vanished though when the tall, black-haired Slayer raised her stake and plunged it into his heart.

In one flying leap, Buffy jumped onto Glory and they fell together into the blinding oblivion.

Spike froze in horror as he watched his Slayer go all noble.

“Buffy!” He screamed at the top of his lungs.

Without even thinking, he threw himself into the portal and went crashing into the light. It was all there was. Light and the little blonde girl floating around inside of it. He reached out for her. Her silky tresses brushed against his hand and he pulled her to him.

“Buffy, I got you.”

But he didn’t. He didn’t have her. They quickly drifted apart and the light turned into darkness. Spike tried desperately to swim to her. To reach her. But he couldn’t. He just kept falling and falling, deeper and deeper, until he was drowning in the darkness.

And when he opened his eyes, he lay sprawled out on the wooden floor of Glory’s mansion. Buffy was gone.

Spike looked down at his chest in disbelief. He had always thought he would die differently than most vampires. Stake through the heart was just too...predictable.

“Sorry, hun. Didn’t mean ta sneak up on ya like that,” she told him, smugly. “Duty thing.”

“Buffy...” he whispered.

“Nope, the name’s Kiki. Too bad ya didn’t get ta stick around long enough ta chat. We coulda been friend’s or somethin’.”

Spike wasn’t no longer aware of the annoying girl in front of him. All he saw was Buffy. She was smiling. And he was again surrounded by light.

Was he...in Heaven?

But that was impossible. He was a vampire, a demon, a monster. Creatures like him went in the opposite direction and steered clear of the whole Heaven thing. But there she was. Dressed in a long, white, flowing gown. She was glowing like an angel and Spike felt the sudden urge to touch her. To take he in his arms and hold her for all eternity. Her hair spread across her shoulders and a smile lit up her stunning face.

Spike began to walk over towards her. But, the light...it was blinding. It just kept getting brighter, until he was forced to shield his eyes. When the light began to fade, he searched for Buffy. But, he couldn’t see her anymore. It was like she had disintegrated into thin air.

And then he was falling.

“No...no, please...no...” he pleaded. “Buffy! Buffy!”

The darkness appeared again, as he forced himself back towards the light. It was no use.

“Buffy...please...” he whispered.

But, it was too late. Buffy was gone.

And this time, he didn’t wake up.

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