Journey's End
Margaret glanced out of the train window at the fields and little villages hurrying past. She knew it wouldn’t be much longer now before she reached her destination and the excitement she had felt when she boarded the train was fast being overwhelmed by nervousness.
She looked down again at the letter in her hands – she had folded it and unfolded it so many times in the past few weeks that it was nearly falling apart at the creases, and she knew it off by heart from repeated readings. She didn’t know what to think about it.
Dear Margaret, it began,
It’s three AM. Or 0300 hours, as we used to call it. I don’t even know why I’m writing you this letter. You’ll probably never get it – I’m sure I’ll look at it in the cold light of day and decide never to send it, and it’s probably better that way. But there are things I have to say to you.
Margaret put the letter down as the train pulled into a station. People got on, people got off. It was only a few more stops now. What if he didn’t want to see her? This idea seemed more and more foolish the closer she got, but it was too late to stop now. For reassurance, she read a little of the letter again.
Do you remember the last day at the 4077th? That was one of the happiest days in Korea for me, but it was one of the saddest too. Leaving everyone was hard, knowing that we were all going to live our separate lives, in separate states, not within easy reach, just across the compound. There were a lot of things I wanted to say to you that day, but there was no time and if I had started I wouldn’t have wanted to stop. There was just too much to say.
Margaret thought back on that day. There had been things she wanted to say to him, too, but finding those kinds of words had always been difficult for her. She hoped that he had understood when they kissed, because there was no other way for her to tell him. She had a feeling when they kissed that it meant something to him too, but she wasn’t sure afterward. Hawkeye had kissed so many women, what made her any different? So afterward she had written him polite, chatty letters, and he had written them back. Until now.
Hawkeye Pierce took a last look down the platform and got onto the train. He put his luggage on the rack and found himself a window seat.
‘Going anywhere interesting?’ asked the man sitting opposite.
‘San Francisco.’
‘That’s a long way from Maine.’
‘I’m going to see a very good friend.’
‘Oh, really? Is she beautiful?’
‘Stunning.’ Said Hawkeye, without thinking. ‘I mean, it isn’t a woman. It’s an old army friend.’
The man chuckled. ‘So who is it that’s ‘stunning’, then, if it’s not the person you’re visiting?’
‘Well, actually, I’m hoping she’ll be there too. She was invited, but she hasn’t called this friend of mine back, so I don’t know if she’ll be there, but I’m really hoping.’
‘Sounds like she’s pretty special.’
‘Oh, she is. She just may be the most special thing in my life, and there’s something I really need to say to her. But I think I’ve blown it. I wrote her a letter in a moment of madness, and I think I’ve frightened her off. I’m sure that’s why she isn’t returning BJ’s calls.’
‘BJ? That’s the old army friend?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Don’t worry; I’m sure it’ll be ok.’ The man smiled. ‘Anyway, this is my stop. Good luck!’
He got out of his seat as the train stopped in the station. Hawkeye sighed and turned to look out of the window.
Margaret pondered the letter.
Margaret, I think you know what I’m getting at. I’m usually so good at saying nice things to women, but usually it doesn’t matter, usually they’re not special. But it’s different with you. Everything I want to say seems so big and scary.
Margaret, I think I love you.
Margaret noticed that they had stopped, and glanced out of the window at the station. Another train was pulling in beside them, coming in the opposite direction. It obscured her view so she couldn’t see what station it was, and she frowned a little. The other train came to a halt. She looked into it.
‘Oh!’ Margaret cried, shocking some of the other passengers.
Hawkeye sat on the other train. As Margaret saw him, he looked up. He mouthed her name and she pressed against the window, trying to hear him. He reached to open the window, and she reached for hers, but it was stuck.
‘It won’t open!’ she said, but both trains were already beginning to move.
Hawkeye pressed his palms against the glass, as if he could push through it and get to the other train. As it pulled away he sat back heavily, stunned at the sight of Margaret. What was she doing here? She lived on the other side of the country! She didn’t even know anyone in Maine, as far as he knew.
Belatedly, he realised who Margaret knew in Maine.
‘She was coming to see me!’ he gasped, startling some of the other passengers.
And he was on a train headed in the opposite direction! No wonder she had looked so dismayed when she saw him. Hawkeye looked out of the window at the countryside speeding past and pictured Margaret, all alone in an unfamiliar place. He had abandoned her.
The train ground to a halt at Crabapple Cove station. Not knowing what else to do, Margaret slid her suitcase from the luggage rack and stepped off the train onto the platform.
It was a small station, just two platforms, a little ticket office and a waiting room with four chairs. There didn’t seem to be anyone around. Margaret dropped onto a wooden bench and gazed down the line, at her train pulling away. She sighed deeply. She felt as if she had been travelling forever. She hadn’t even considered that Hawkeye might be away when she arrived. Surely he would have written to her if he was going anywhere special?
Something stirred in Margaret’s memory – hadn’t BJ mentioned something about a get-together? She had received his letter on a busy day and had only scanned it briefly, thinking that it was a while until she would need to reply to it. How long ago had she received it? If the get-together was this weekend, then Hawkeye was on his way to San Francisco! And considering it was so far away he might be gone for several days, even weeks!
Tears of frustration welled up and Margaret let them fall, not even caring that she was crying in the middle of a train station. She hadn’t realised until she saw Hawkeye on the other train just how much she had missed him since they got back to the States. Gazing at the tracks, Margaret cried.
Half an hour later, Margaret took a deep breath and wiped the tears from her face. There was no use crying about it – Hawkeye was gone and that was that. She knew no-one else in Maine and she didn’t know of anywhere to stay, and besides that, there was no point if Hawkeye wasn’t there.
She got up and headed for the ticket office, to ask when the next train was heading back home.
The train on the other side of the platform pulled into the station and slowly came to a stop, just as Margaret’s was arriving too. It was time to go back. Her journey had been a waste of time, but that was her own fault, really. She should have called ahead, should have read BJ’s letter more carefully, should have done something. Maybe it just wasn’t meant to be.
Margaret hefted her suitcase onto the train and took a final look down the empty platform. She would never come back.
‘Margaret!’
She heard a distant shout, but she couldn’t make it out. It didn’t really matter anyway. She stepped onto the train.
‘Margaret, wait! Please!’
Hawkeye was running down the steps from the bridge that joined the two platforms. Margaret stared, unsure for a moment whether it was really happening, then dragged her suitcase back down from the train and left it there, running to meet Hawkeye as he jumped the last few stairs. They met in the middle of the platform and threw their arms around one another. There were tears in both of their eyes as they hugged and kissed and looked at one another in astonishment and delight.
‘Margaret, I can’t believe you’re really here!’ Hawkeye laughed, finally releasing her from the hug, but keeping hold of her hands. ‘What are you...? I mean, why are you..?’
‘I came to see you! I’ve missed you so much!’
‘Me too, it’s so good to see you, I can’t quite believe you’re really here! Did you get that letter I wrote?’
Margaret nodded. That’s why I came. I wanted to know if you meant it, and it didn’t seem right to ask over the phone.’
‘I did mean it, everything I said. And there’s one more thing I need to say.’
Hawkeye fell to one knee and looked earnestly up at Margaret, still holding her hand tightly.
‘Margaret, I love you. Will you marry me?’
Margaret’s eyes widened with surprise as Hawkeye waited for her answer. She had never expected this! But she didn’t hesitate.
‘Yes, I will.’
He got up and kissed her, a long, tender kiss like the one they had shared on that last day in Korea. Everything was going to be alright.
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