Blue Eyes and Hot Lips
Radar O’Reilly was running. The plane was about to take off….his only chance to leave Korea. Suddenly a bell sounded. He stopped and looked around, but couldn’t find the source of the noise. He dragged himself awake to find the telephone of the 4077th M*A*S*H ringing.
“MASH 4077th. Do you guys know what time it is?”
“Can I speak to your CO please. It’s important”
Radar hurried to get Colonel Potter. When someone asked for the CO without knowing his name it was never a good sign.
“Colonel? Colonel! Phone for you Sir”
Potter blearily stared at Radar for a moment. “Jeez Louise Radar, do you know what time it is?”
“I’m sorry Sir, but they said it was important”
“Fine, fine, I’m coming, but just know this Radar. I was dreaming about Mrs Potter’s cooking. It’ll be burnt by the time I get back!”
“Oh, sorry Sir.”
Potter hurried over to the office, and picked the extension in his own room.
“Potter here……yes, I’m the CO……well what can I do for you Lieutenant?…….yes, our Head Nurse…….R&R……3 days………you don’t say?…..well I’ll send them right away. Thank you Lieutenant, goodbye! RADAR”
Radar appeared at the office door.
“Radar, get me Pierce and Hunnicutt, now!”
“Yessir!”
Radar hurried over to the Swamp. “Cap’n Pierce? Cap’n Hunnicutt? Sirs, will you please wake up? The Colonel needs to see you.”
Hawkeye rolled over in his bed, covering his head with the pillow. BJ mumbled “Radar, wassup? It’s 3am. Wake me at 10 with a nice breakfast tray. “
Radar persisted. “Captains, wake up. Major Houlihan is in trouble.”
Hawkeye sprang up in bed. “Why didn’t you say so. Hand me my boots Radar. And my robe….. And I’m ready.”
BJ had likewise dressed, and was ready to go. The men crossed the compound in very few strides, and burst into the Colonel’s office.
“Colonel, what is going on?” demanded Hawkeye. “Radar said that Margaret was in trouble.”
BJ looked anxiously at the Colonel.
“RADAR! One day I’m going to confiscate that dammed extension!”
Radar started to reply, but Hawkeye was getting increasingly impatient.
“Colonel, what is going on? Is Margaret hurt?”
The older man shook his head. “Not as far as I’m aware. But she’s at the 121st Evac. She was found wandering the streets, with a concussion, talking to herself to keep awake. She’s asking for you and BJ to go and get her, ASAP.”
Hawkeye suddenly jumped into action. “Well what are we all waiting round here for? Let’s go!”
For once, Potter didn’t try to restrain Pierce. He nodded, and said “Just treat her gentle, Hawkeye. Who knows what might have happened to her.”
It took Hawkeye and BJ less than 10 minutes to get ready and leave the camp, and they were in Seoul by 0600. They had no trouble finding the hospital, having been there many times with patients, but they were surprised to find it so busy, so early in the morning. BJ deftly parked the jeep, but left the engine running for a minute.
“Hawk?”
“Yeah?”
“What if something really bad happened to her?”
“Come on Beej, lets just get her and get out of here. We can talk to her on the way back.”
The two men strode hurriedly into the hospital and up to the desk.
”We’re here for Major Margaret Houlihan.”
The desk clerk waved his hand vaguely down the hall. “3rd on the left” he drawled lazily. “Good luck. I’ve never seen such a wildcat”
Hawkeye frowned. “What do you mean?”
The clerk twirled a pencil round his fingers. “She won’t let anyone near her. Screams and lashes out if anyone tries to touch her.”
Hawkeye frowned again. “Do you have any idea what happened to her”
“Not a clue” said the clerk, shaking his head slightly.
Hawkeye and BJ left the desk and went down the hall to the room the clerk had pointed to. BJ hesitated slightly, and then knocked firmly on the door. A scream came from inside the room.
“LEAVE ME ALONE! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU!”
BJ looked taken aback, but Hawkeye persisted.
“Margaret, its us. Let us in”.
Before he had finished the sentence, the door had crashed open on it’s hinges, and Margaret had flown into his arms. Hawkeye scooped her up and carried her over to the cot, whilst BJ followed and closed the door behind them. Margaret was by this time sobbing hysterically into Hawkeye’s chest. Hawkeye and BJ exchanged shocked looks. This was not Margaret’s usual reaction to any problems that she encountered. They silently agreed not to move until Margaret had calmed down, which took quite a while. BJ moved silently round the room, packing up Margaret’s things, which had been strewn around the room, and removing the remnants of a glass that had evidently been thrown against the wall. In a strange way that broken glass comforted him slightly. If Margaret was up to throwing things, then the world hadn’t totally tilted on it’s axis.
Whilst BJ was doing this, Hawkeye was comforting Margaret. He didn’t attempt to stop her crying fit, knowing that the best way to deal with Margaret was to allow her to vent her feelings. He sat with her on his lap, crying into his chest, as he stroked her hair and muttered comforting words to her. Eventually she stopped crying, but she was still content to stay on Hawkeye’s knee. Hawkeye put a finger under her chin and tilted her head upwards. Looking tenderly at her tear-stained face, his eyes momentarily betrayed an emotion, but the expression was so fleeting that BJ, who happened to catch the moment, couldn’t interpret the emotion. Margaret didn’t seem to notice, and said wearily:
“I’m so glad you’re here. I just want to get back to the 4077th. Believe it or not I feel safe there. I feel so vulnerable, Hawkeye.”
“What happened Margaret. Please tell us. We can help you.”
Margaret looked away, and shook her head. “I can’t tell you. Not yet. But I will sometime.”
Hawkeye opened his mouth to protest, but BJ frowned and shook his head. “OK Margaret” he said. “Not now, but later. Lets get out of here.”
As he spoke BJ stood up and lifted Margaret’s bag easily onto his shoulders. Hawkeye lifted Margaret in his arms, and carried her out of the room, through the lobby and straight into the car park, leaving BJ to explain matters to the clerk. By the time he reached the jeep, Margaret was asleep.
The journey back was slower than the journey into Seoul, because BJ was trying to smooth out the ride, so as not to wake Margaret. However, halfway back to the 4077th, the two men heard Margaret crying over the noise of the engine. BJ glanced at Hawkeye, who gave a small nod. BJ pulled the jeep over to the side of the road and cut the engine. Turning round in their seats, they faced Margaret.
“OK Margaret. What is going on? We need to know here.”
BJ chimed in. “Come Margaret, you got us out of our beds at 3 in the morning to come and get you. You owe us an explanation for that at least.”
Margaret sighed, and looked down. “He said I’m not a proper wife. But I try, I do!”
“Penobscott?” Hawkeye queried gently. “Did he hit you Margaret?”
Margaret shook her head miserably. “He….um…he”. She swallowed. ”He tried to rape me”.
A tear trickled down her cheek, but she was too exhausted to cry properly.
The men in the car with her reacted very differently to this revelation. BJ was thoroughly shocked. How could a man even think of doing that to his wife? He thought of his darling Peg, and shuddered.
Hawkeye had jumped out of the jeep, and was pacing up and down, muttering to himself. BJ couldn’t hear what he was saying, but decided it was probably better not to ask. Suddenly, Hawkeye swung round and punched the jeep, causing Margaret and BJ to jump. Hawkeye noticed the look on Margaret’s face. She was terrified, not of him, but of his actions, and he looked at his feet, ashamed of his violence.
“I’m sorry, you don’t need this. Lets just get back to the 4077th before Potter thinks we’ve been taken hostage.”
At the mention of Potter, Margaret again looked terrified. “Hawkeye? Promise me you won’t tell the Colonel. And you BJ. I don’t think I could bear him knowing.”
BJ looked pained, but agreed. It took a little more work to extract the promise from Hawkeye, but Margaret persisted until she got it. As BJ revved the engine, Hawkeye climbed back into the jeep, but this time next to Margaret. He wrapped her in his arms, and she fell asleep again curled against his chest.
When they pulled into the compound, Radar came running out to meet them.
“Sirs! Colonel Potter wants to see you and Major Houlihan right away…….”. Radar tailed off as he saw Margaret, still held against Hawkeye, her face bruised, and swollen from crying. He looked back at BJ in horror.
“Sorry Radar” BJ replied firmly. “The Major needs her bed now. As her physician I’m prescribing it to her, as of now. Tell the Colonel Hawk and I will come and see him in a few minutes. “
Radar was too shocked to reply, and just nodded his head mutely before rushing off to the Colonel’s office. BJ pulled the jeep up outside Margaret’s tent and cut the engine. Hawkeye effortlessly lifted her out and, to the curious stares of the other staff, carried her straight into her tent, leaving BJ to again follow with the bags. When he entered her tent, Hawkeye laid Margaret down on the bed, and removing her dress shoes and coat, pulled a blanket over her.
When Hawkeye and BJ entered Potter’s office he was pacing the floor, anxiously waiting for them. As they barged in without knocking, according to custom, he looked up.
“Pierce, Hunnicutt, what in heavens name is going on here? Radar said that Margaret was covered in bruises!”
Hawkeye held up a hand to silence Potter. “Colonel, we’d love to tell you what is going on.“ Potter looked satisfied, until Pierce continued. “Unfortunately we can’t. We promised Margaret that we wouldn’t.”
Colonel Potter looked outraged. “Hunnicutt?”
“Sorry Colonel, Hawk is right. Margaret doesn’t want anyone to know, and we have to respect that.”
“Fine! You boys wanna play tough? I order you to tell me what is going on. That‘s right” he said in reply to Hawkeye and BJ’s shocked looks. “That is a direct order. I am your Commanding officer, and Margaret’s“. He continued, his tone softening, “More than that, I look on you as children. My children, in a way. And I can’t look after you properly unless you tell me what is going on. Boys, I need to know!”
Hawkeye and BJ exchanged glances. BJ looked intently at his substitute father.
“Colonel, not a word of this must leave this room“.
Potter nodded, and shouted “RADAR!”.
Radar burst into the room.
“You shouted Sir?”
“Radar, will you go and check on Sophie please?“
“Oh, I’ve checked her Sir” Radar replied, somewhat smugly.
“Radar?” said the Colonel, his voice menacingly quiet. Radar noticed this, and suddenly became nervous.
“Yes Sir?”
“Amscree!”
Radar scurried out of the room, and Potter signalled to BJ to continue.
“Well Colonel, it’s Penobscott. He tried to rape her. We don’t know the details, just that.”
Potter growled ”by God, I’ll take a horse whip to him”.
Hawkeye moved restlessly in his chair. “Not if I get to him first, Colonel”.
Potter sighed. “OK Pierce, Hunnicutt, off you go. I need some thinking time. And don‘t harass Margaret. Just be there when she needs it.”
Hawkeye and BJ left the office. Once they were outside, Hawkeye turned to his friend.
“Beej, I’m just gonna go for a little walk”
BJ nodded, but wasn’t fooled. And sure enough, when he turned around, he was just in time to see Hawkeye ducking to enter Margaret’s tent.
“Margaret?”
Margaret ignored Hawkeye, and rolled over on her cot.
“Margaret, just listen to me. I know that you must be going through hell right now, and I know I have no idea what that feels like, but I am here for you. Whatever you want, whenever you want it, it’s yours. If you want someone to listen, or talk to, or just to be there, I’ll be there. Let me help you Margaret.”
She didn’t turn over, just said coldly “I’d like you to leave now please, Captain Pierce.”
Hawkeye was hurt, but remembering what he had just said, silently left the tent.
As soon as he entered the Swamp, BJ could tell what had happened. Handing him a drink, he said sympathetically;
“She’ll need you soon enough Hawk. Just be patient.”
Hawkeye gratefully took the proffered drink.
“Shall we have a little game of something?”
BJ looked pleased at the improvement in Hawkeye’s mood.
“Cards?”
“Checkers”
“Gin?”
“Gin it is!” replied BJ, topping up Hawkeye’s glass.
Later that night, Hawkeye awoke to the sound of the Swamp door creaking open. He started at the figure blankly for a moment, before realising it was Margaret. With out a word he threw back one side of his bed covers, and she climbed in, snuggling up to him, and both fell instantly asleep.
The next morning, Margaret awoke as the sun was rising, and crept out of the tent, only pausing to drop a kiss on Hawkeye’s forehead.
“Thank you” she whispered.
“Choppers incoming! Looks like a long one!”.
The dreaded sound filled the camp at breakfast that morning. BJ, Hawkeye and Charles rushed to the compound to meet their newest clients. In OR, Hawkeye insisted that Margaret worked only with him. To repay this kindness Margaret was less critical than the 4077th had ever seen her. After 36 long exhausting hours, the entire camp collapsed into bed, with the exception of Colonel Potter, who was on post-op duty. Just 2 hours later, the entire camp was awake again, listening to the sound of screaming. At first Hawkeye couldn’t work out where the noise came from, but as soon as he realised that it was coming from Margaret’s tent, he sprang out of bed and pulled on his robe. For the second time in 3 days he was the object of curious stare from the group of people gathered round Margaret’s tent, as he strode straight through them and into the tent. A murmur of excitement ran through the crowd. Hawkeye Pierce, entering the Major’s tent? He would be skinned alive! BJ, who had followed Hawkeye out of the tent caught Klinger‘s eye, and motioned with his head for Klinger to disperse the crowd. BJ knew that the crowd would be even more curious when Hawkeye re-emerged, whenever that might be, and wanted to save his friend that. One person remained, however. Colonel Potter, standing outside the ward, nodded in approval. That’s it son, he thought to himself. Just be there.
Inside the tent, Hawkeye was working to calm Margaret. He was stroking her hair, as he had done when he and BJ had gone to collect her. He sat patiently stroking until the screaming ceased, at which point he climbed in beside Margaret, and put his arms around her.
These events soon became a routine, with Hawkeye spending the majority of every night in Margaret’s tent. They became firm friends, confiding in each other, talking and playing together. BJ was just as important to them, and they became a trio, as BJ and Hawkeye had once been a duo. BJ was pleased with this. Margaret was a fiercely loyal friend, with a great sense of fun. She went along with their schemes, and even pulled some of her own, and they spent many happy evenings in the Swamp. Hawkeye and BJ introduced her to their game, the mixture of checkers with any card game. But the changes weren’t restricted to fun. Margaret became more easy-going and open, whilst Hawkeye curbed his nurse chasing activities. BJ had his own private theory about the reasons for this, which he confided to his wife.
My darling Peg.
Life here has certainly changed since I last wrote you. Margaret, our very own army representative in this civilian camp, has become Hawk and my new best friend. Her husband tried to rape her (something that I try not to think about, because it makes me so angry), and Hawkeye and I had to rush to Seoul to rescue her. Since then she has become a much nicer person, and great friends with us. Believe it or not, she loves pulling pranks! Hawkeye has also changed. He doesn’t chase nurses anymore! He is much more considerate of other people’s feelings, as is Margaret. She was always rather hard on her nurses. I think that Hawkeye is in love with her. When he is watching her, or talking to her I can see something in his eyes, that is definitely love, but a much stronger love than just passion. The same sort of love that I feel for you, Peggy. If only they would realise how perfect they are for one another!
As the months passed, the three friends came to rely more and more on each other to get them through the rough times. Radar’s departure hit Hawkeye particularly hard, and Margaret was particularly upset when her sister got married in America. Margaret had had no trouble in procuring a divorce from Penobscott, and the day it came through, Hawkeye and BJ took her to the O-Club and got her spectacularly drunk. Klinger, on bar duty, had instructions to provide doubles of everything, all on Hawkeye. She ended the evening with a rousing rendition of show songs, accompanied by a reluctant Father Mulcahy, and an extremely enthusiastic Hawkeye, BJ not being fully able to stand straight, let alone sing straight. Klinger eventually turned them out at 3am where they stumbled and swayed back to the Swamp, where Margaret fell asleep in Hawkeye’s arms.
The chemistry which BJ had noticed before now became much more pronounced between Hawkeye and Margaret, until one day, Margaret surprised him with a confession. She came into the Swamp whilst Pierce was on Post-Op duty, with a confused and very upset look on her face. BJ jumped up from where he was rereading a letter from Peg.
“Margaret? What is the matter? Are you ok?”
Margaret nodded, and then shook her head.
“Yes. No, no I’m not. Beej, can I talk to you? Confidentially?”
BJ nodded, now concerned. He had very rarely seen Margaret this upset. Margaret sat on the edge on Hawkeye’s cot and absently fiddled with the edge of his blanket.
“Beej, has Hawkeye ever said anything to you? About me I mean?”
BJ smiled, suddenly realising what this conversation was about, but he didn’t try to tease Margaret, realising that now was not the time.
“No Margaret, but I can pretty much guess his feelings towards you.”
Margaret looked up, surprised. BJ continued.
“You love him, don’t you?”
Margaret looked even more surprised at his penetration. “How do you know?”
BJ waved his hand dismissively. “Please Margaret, I’m not blind! I can see the look in your eyes, the way you lean on him, and depend on him.”
To BJ’s surprise, Margaret burst into tears. “What am I going to do Beej? I’m going to ruin our friendship, everything. I can’t let him go without telling him, but I can’t tell him without losing him. What can I do? What do you think Hawkeye feels for me?”
BJ opened his mouth to tell Margaret exactly what he thought Hawkeye felt for her, but at that moment the door to Post-Op was heard to crash open, and the Hawkeye could be heard crossing the compound singing the first few bars of a show tune repeatedly. Margaret froze for a second, and then bolted out of the door to her own tent. BJ sighed. He had been about to say that he was pretty sure that Hawkeye loved Margaret, and that the best thing they could do would be to clear the air, but he didn’t get the chance. Never mind. He would make the chance. They would have to realise soon!
But before he got the chance to speak to either of them, the announcement that they had all been waiting for, the day they had all dreamed of, came. The war ended. As the announcement came through, Margaret and BJ, who had been working together in Post-Op, rushed into the Colonel’s office, to find Klinger and Charles already there. Everyone burst into laughter, tears and manic chattering at the same time. Everyone turned as the office crashed open, and Hawkeye swept into the room. He didn’t hesitate, just went straight to Margaret, dipped her, and kissed her passionately. The kiss lasted a long moment, and then the couple straightened up, and grinned sheepishly. Hawkeye turned to his best friend, but BJ put up a hand in warning.
“Don’t even try it, Mister. You’re pretty, but you’re not that pretty!”
That evening, the entire staff and all the patients who could, gathered in the mess tent for a knees-up. Every last drop of alcohol was gathered, including a contribution from the still which BJ and Hawkeye had generously donated. However, as everyone detested the “lighter fluid”, it was mainly Hawkeye and BJ drinking it, with help from Margaret, who seemed to have developed an immunity. After a while, Potter wobbled to his feet, and aided, or perhaps hindered, by Pierce and Hunnicutt, climbed onto a table.
“Settle down people, settle down.” He hiccupped. “As this might be the last time we might be all together here together with all of us,” he hiccupped again “it might be nice for everyone here to say what they are going to do when the war finishes.” He thought back over his last statement for a moment, then realised what was wrong with it. “Which it has! Finished, I mean.”
He made to get down, but someone called out:
“You first Colonel”
BJ muttered to Hawkeye “whilst he’s still up there. He’d never make it up again!”
Colonel Potter nodded, which caused him to lose his balance, and he had to be steadied by Klinger, who was standing ready to catch the older man if he fell.
“Right, well. I’m going home to Mildred. I’ve had enough of war and death, and I want to enjoy civilian life, and see my grandkids grow up.”
He climbed down from the table, and slumped in a chair. A few of the nurses took turns at speaking, and then it came round to BJ.
“I’m going straight home to my wife and daughter, and my nice cosy home in Mill Valley. Hopefully then I’ll become a GP and give up surgery.”
Everyone applauded drunkenly, and Klinger stood up.
“Well, after 3 years of trying to get out of Korea, I’m staying for more! Soon-Lee and I are getting married, and we’re not leaving until we find her parents.” He smiled affectionately at the small Korean woman sitting beside him. “So wish us luck everyone!”.
Another round of drunken applause, and then Charles stood up.
“I am going home to a civilised country and getting away from all you buffoons.” he said pompously, but the moisture in his eyes betrayed his real feelings. “And I’m going to miss you all a lot. Even the idiots” he finished, throwing a glance at Pierce and Hunnicutt.
Mulcahy stood up once Hawkeye and BJ had finished with Charles.
“I’m staying to work in the orphanage for a little while, and then returning to San Francisco to see my Sister the Sister.”
Hawkeye stood up next.
“Well, first I’m returning to Crabapple Cove, to sleep for a week. Then I’m going to roll over and have a nap. Then I might have 40 winks….”
BJ threw a cushion at him.
“Get on with it” he heckled.
Hawkeye glared at him in mock indignation, and then continued.
“And then I’m going to join my dad in his practice and join the surgical team at Portland General.” He gave a sweeping bow as some applause peppered the room, and fell to the ground, where he called out “Margaret! It’s only you left. Go ahead baby!”
Margaret gave him an exasperated glance before getting to her feet. She surveyed the room for a minute before beginning.
“Well, this may come as a surprise to some of you, but I am resigning my commission. Army life never truly bought me happiness, I was always striving for more. Only once did the army give me anything of significance. It brought me here, to the 4077th. I didn’t realise it in the beginning, but being here, with all of you has made me a better person, and I value each and every one of you, even if I don’t show it as I should.” She gave the tiniest of glances at BJ, who nodded and winked. “Coming here also gave me something else for the first time, something more important than anything. It gave me friends. Hawkeye and BJ, who I love more than life itself.” She looked straight at Hawkeye as she said these last words, and he smiled back at her. An emotional silence filled the room, as everyone took in what Margaret had said, then Potter raised his glass.
“To the 4077th M*A*S*H .”
Everyone raised their glasses. Klinger proposed another toast.
“To insanity. Hawkeye, BJ, we honour you!”
Everyone raised their glasses again. Margaret then finished by saying:
“To everlasting friendship”
There was hearty agreement to this as everyone raised their glasses for the final time.
The next day proved just as emotional, as everyone said goodbye. Hawkeye was laughing at BJ, who was fighting to hold back the tears.
“Beej, it’s not like we won’t see each other again. We’ve already made arrangements to meet up!” BJ wasn’t convinced.
“But we won’t be the same people! We won’t be Captains, just Dr Pierce and Dr Hunnicutt.”
“Beej!” yelled Hawkeye in exasperation. “What is the problem with that? We’re born civilians. We’ve just been pretending to be in the army.”
BJ grudgingly admitted the truth of this.
“And another thing” added Hawkeye, with a wink. ”We won’t be wearing green!”
At the other side of the compound, Potter was talking to Margaret. “Now young lady, I want to give you a word of advice. Don’t you lose contact with those 2 loonies of yours. I’d be sorry to see a friendship like yours go to waste.”
Margaret looked serious as she replied “Don’t worry Sir, I won‘t. I need them. They’re going to help me become a civilian!”
A month after returning to Crabapple Cove, and having completed his promised sleeping marathon, Hawkeye received a phone call.
“Y’ello?”
“Hawkeye?”
“Margaret! How are you? Where are you?”
“I’m in Boston, and I was wondering if I could come and stay for a while?”
“Of course you can! When are you arriving?”
“How about Thursday?”
“That’s great! BJ and Peg are coming that day too! And it’s only 2 days away!”
Margaret smiled down the phone. “Excellent! I’m dying to see both of you again! And Peg and Erin of course. Although I feel as if I already know them, BJ talked about them so much!”
Hawkeye laughed in agreement, and Margaret felt a thrill run through her at the sound of the familiar cackle. She sighed. “Oh Hawk, it is good to hear your voice again!”
Hawkeye spent Wednesday in a fever of preparation which greatly amused his father. He checked the adult’s rooms for towels, soap and clean sheets a total of 7 times during the day, and borrowed some toys from his neighbour for Erin to play with. He also checked over his own new toy, a 2nd hand Buick that his dad had given him on his return to America. He went to the market and bought all the ingredients for a lobster salad, creamed potatoes, trifle and apple crumble, his specialities. He prepared the puddings, but left the main course to be made fresh the next day.
When the day finally dawned, Hawkeye was up at dawn, checking the bedrooms again, rearranging the toys laid out in Erin’s room and putting the finishing touches to his trifle. At 9 O’clock he left to collect Margaret from the bus station. She wasn’t due till 10, but he simply couldn’t wait any longer. Driving to the station he hummed to himself, but when he arrived al his ease vanished, and he didn’t know what to do with himself. Every bus that pulled into the station was scanned with an eager eye, quickly but thoroughly, a habit that he had developed in Korea when checking ambulances. Finally he picked out Margaret’s blonde head descending from a bus that had entirely escaped his notice until that moment. She looked around her nervously, until she discerned Hawkeye’s tall figure waving at her over the crowd. She ran towards him and flung herself into his arms, completely ignoring the curious stare they attracted. Hawkeye lifted her off her feet and swung her round, more excited at seeing her again than he could express. It was a long moment before he set her down again. Seeing the look in his eyes, Margaret smiled shyly, and Hawkeye’s breath caught in his throat. She was so beautiful, with her hair swept up like that. To him she looked stunning, like a dream. In the month that he had been back in the states he had not seen a single woman who compared with Margaret in his mind, and now he realised, with a rush of certainty, that he never would.
Margaret touched his arm. “Hawk, are you ok?”
Hawkeye forced his mind back to focus on Margaret. “Of course, just thinking how great you look!” Margaret smiled.
“It’s good to see you too! I was just saying the other day-” She was interrupted by Hawkeye swooping down and kissing her. She responded, and for several minutes they stood locked in a passionate embrace, until a realisation caused Hawkeye, albeit reluctantly, to pull away.
“Come on” he said, picking up her case. “Let’s get you home.”
After introducing Margaret to his father, who was just as taken with her as his son, and showing Margaret to her room, Hawkeye left to pick up the Hunnicutts from the airport, swallowing a mouthful of coffee as he ran out of the door. Driving to the airport it seemed to Hawkeye that the time and the traffic had never gone slower. Having Margaret with him made him realise how much he had missed his two best friends, and now that he had Margaret again, BJ was the focus of all that longing. Hawkeye missed the camaraderie and the fun, but most of all he missed the solid support that BJ had given him over the years. However, Hawkeye was quite sure that the way in which he missed BJ was not the same as the way he had missed Margaret. BJ was the subject of longing, but as much as Hawkeye loved his friend, he also, and in an entirely different way, loved Margaret, very deeply and tenderly. He was quite sure of that now. Not only was she the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, she had a thousand other qualities that he had learnt to value. During the course of their friendship he had also come to understand why she built up a wall around herself, to try and protect herself from being hurt. She had never had a sense of belonging anywhere, and as a result she was very insecure, hence her marriage to, and divorce from Donald Penobscott. Hawkeye’s grip on the wheel tightened as he thought of that no good, worthless scum. But Hawkeye wasn’t going to let Penobscott, or anyone, ruin this day for him. He was home, he was free, he was healthy and he had his best friends with him, or soon would. He was absolutely determined not to let his feelings for Margaret ruin their precious friendship. He just couldn’t bear to lose her.
At the airport he found that BJ’s flight was delayed by half an hour, so he wandered over to the coffee shop and had another coffee - his fourth of the day. When he heard the flight being announced he jumped up and almost ran to the arrival gate. As a stream of people came through the door, Hawkeye was bobbing on the balls of his feet with excitement. Finally he saw a tall blonde man with a small girl on his shoulders.
“BJ! BEEJ!”
BJ was in the act of swinging his daughter off his shoulders when he heard his name being called, and as Erin’s feet touched the floor he caught sight of his friend. Hurrying forward he caught the hand of the small woman standing next to him and pulled her forward with him. When the two friends finally met again there was nothing reserved about their greeting. They embraced heartily, as Hawkeye said quietly, “thanks for the note Beej“, until the woman standing a little way back moved forward to tug at BJ’s sleeve.
“BJ, are you ever going to introduce me, or do I have to do it myself?!”
BJ and Hawkeye laughed as they pulled apart. The woman continued.
“Hawkeye Pierce I presume? I’m Peg, but I’m sure you guessed that!” Hawkeye stuck out his hand politely, but Peg just as politely ignored it, and hugged him.
“I can’t thank you enough for looking after BJ. I am sure you kept him sane” Peg said, laughing at Hawkeye’s surprise. Hawkeye laughed in reply.
“Oh believe me, there is nothing sane about BJ!” They were both still laughing when Hawkeye felt a small hand tugging on his trouser leg. Looking down, he saw Erin Hunnicutt beaming back at him. Until now she had stayed hidden behind her father’s legs, but seeing her parents getting on so well with this man her curiosity had gotten the better of her. Hawkeye knelt on the floor so that he was closer to her level, although she was so tiny he was still looking down on her.
“You must be Erin”. The little girl nodded and stuck her thumb in her mouth.
“I’m Hawkeye, and I’m very pleased to meet you.” Erin removed her thumb.
“Unco Hawkee” she said, smiling. Hawkeye laughed, and scooped her up.
“Absolutely, my darling. Now, let’s get your mummy and daddy home. They look famished!”
When they arrived at Crab Apple Cove, Hawkeye slowed down the car and gave a guided tour.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to our tour of Crab Apple Cove. On your right, we have the world famous Lobster Shack. On your left the grocery store. Thank you for listening.”
As he pulled up outside his own house, Hawkeye said “Welcome to my humble abode, currently a boarding house for Korean rejects!”
BJ smiled. “So Margaret’s here then?”. Hawkeye nodded. ”She’s probably taking a nap now“, but the words were barely out of his mouth when Margaret appeared at the front door, looking thoroughly at home in one of Hawkeye’s mother’s old aprons.
“BJ!”
BJ ran up the porch steps and swept Margaret into a bear hug. When he released he immediately pulled her down the steps, saying eagerly “Come and meet Peg and Erin. Margaret, this is my beautiful wife Peg, Peg, this is my other best friend Margaret Houlihan.”
The two women embraced warmly, and then Margaret said:
“Come on in all of you, lunch is ready.”
BJ glanced at Hawkeye, wondering if there was anything he hadn’t been told, but Hawkeye looked just as surprised as he was at Margaret’s appearance and words. BJ was not only surprised. He was also extremely bemused. Margaret Houlihan, domesticated?! Who would have thought!
The day passed in a blur of reminiscing, laughter and food. Much later that night, Daniel and Erin had both disappeared to bed, leaving the four friends in the living room. The fire was dying, but there was no shortage of conversation. Peg sat in one armchair, and BJ the other, but Hawkeye and Margaret were curled up together on the sofa, Hawkeye’s arm loosely around Margaret’s shoulders. Peg was somewhat surprised at this, but BJ wasn’t, knowing exactly what was happening. Each of his friends was trying to tell the other that they wanted to be more than friends, but it didn’t look like they were picking up on each other’s signals. He commented on this to his wife later in bed.
“Didn’t Hawkeye and Margaret look like quite the couple today!”
Peg laughed softly, and agreed with her husband. “They do! Has anything ever happened between them?”
BJ thought for a moment, and then replied:
“Once. They went to another M*A*S*H, but their jeep broke down and they had to spend the night in an abandoned hut. They got very close that night, but Hawk blew it the next day. From what he and Margaret both told me, he did behave like a jerk. I guess they needed to be friends though, because he soon apologised.”
Peg shook her head. “But they so obviously love each other!”
“I know, but we can’t do anything about it. Neither of them will be pushed into something they don’t want to do. As Colonel Potter used to say, they both as stubborn as mules!”
Downstairs, Hawkeye and Margaret were standing across the kitchen from one another, each clutching a shot of dutch courage. They had tried some strained chat about the weather, but now both had lapsed into silence.
Finally, just when the tension became too much, Margaret crossed the room, and setting down her glass, put her arms round Hawkeye’s neck, and kissed him softly on the lips. Hawkeye responded briefly, and then pulled away, holding Margaret at arm’s length.
“Margaret, we need to talk” he said, looking serious.
Margaret sat down at the table, and waited patiently, sensing that Hawkeye would not like to be interrupted. He paced around for a few moments, and then stopped, and took the seat next to Margaret, turning it so that it would face her.
“Margaret, we’ve been friends for a long time, right? And before that, even when we hated each other I had immense respect for you as a professional. But now, I’ve come to realise that, well, I feel more for you than just respect or friendship. I love you, Margaret. I love the Major, the civilian, the nurse, and I love the friend. You make my heart sing.”
Margaret’s eyes began to tear as Hawkeye pulled a small velvet box out of his pocket, and moved to kneel in front of her.
“Margaret Jane Houlihan, will you marry me?”
Margaret began sobbing openly, as Hawkeye slid the antique diamond onto her finger. Margaret threw her arms around her new fiancé’s neck and they both started laughing. When they pulled apart, Hawkeye grinned mischievously.
“Shall we go and tell Beej now?”
Margaret grinned in reply. “What’s the time? Oh, it’s only 3am. Yes, ok!”
Hawkeye ran up the stairs, pulling Margaret behind him, and hammered on BJ’s door. “Beej! Wake up! BJ!”
The door suddenly flew open, and BJ stood in the doorway, wide-eyed and looking worried.
“What’s going on? Is there a fire? Is it Erin?”
Hawkeye just grinned annoyingly at him.
Peg came up behind her husband and said sleepily:
“Is something wrong honey? Is it Erin?”
BJ looked frustratedly at Margaret.
“Margaret, please tell me what is going on!”
Margaret smiled slyly, and said:
“Oh, nothing much!”
BJ was rapidly becoming very annoyed.
“Then would you mind telling me what is going on?!”
Margaret replied, “Well, we though you might like to know that we’re getting married. Goodnight!”
She and Hawkeye turned to go, but BJ caught her arm.
“Are you serious?!” He looked to Hawkeye for confirmation, who nodded proudly and grinned from ear to ear. Margaret just looked happier than BJ had ever seen her. Peg broke the silence first.
“Congratulations! Have you set a date or anything yet?!”
Margaret shook her head. “We haven’t even talked about that yet.”
There was silence for a moment, and then Hawkeye clapped his hands together. “I think this calls for champagne. Shall I get dad up?”
“No, leave him to sleep. You can tell him tomorrow.”
The four adults made their way downstairs again, all chatting eagerly. As Hawkeye opened a bottle of champagne, Margaret had a sudden idea.
“Hawkeye!” Margaret motioned to her fiancé to come closer, and whispered something to him. He looked delighted, and nodded, saying:
“That’s a brilliant idea! Tell them!”
Margaret turned to her friends, who were looking puzzled. “Beej, Peg, we’ve just set a date. You’re flying out 3 weeks from tomorrow, so we’ll have the wedding 3 weeks from today! That way you can definitely be there!” BJ and Peg looked stunned, and touched by this. “Are you sure, Hawk?” BJ questioned. “You don’t want to have to rush everything.”
Hawkeye looked at Margaret and took her hand, then turned back to BJ.
“Beej, the most important thing is that our best friend can be at our wedding. Nothing else matters.” BJ looked suspiciously moist-eyed as Hawkeye set a glass of champagne in front of him. “Well, this definitely calls for a toast! To Margaret and Hawkeye. May they be as happy as it is possible to be, for as long as it is possible.”
Everyone raised their glasses.
Three hectic weeks later Hawkeye was standing in his bedroom making a very bad job of tying his bow tie. BJ gently removed the offending object from his best friend’s shaking hands, and replaced it with a drink. Hawkeye was pleased to see that it was homemade gin. At a time like this he needed a strong belt. BJ placed a firm hand on his shoulder.
“Hawkeye, you’ll be fine. You are going to be the perfect husband for Margaret. I wouldn’t let you marry her if I thought it was going to go wrong. As it happens I think you are perfect for each other, and I’m very pleased you’ve worked everything out.”
Hawkeye looked at his friend, the calming tone starting to have the desired effect.
“You’re right Beej, I’m just nervous.”
“You’ll be fine” BJ replied. “Trust me, this is the best moment of your life. And it‘s perfectly natural to be nervous. I nearly ran away from my wedding!”
There was a soft knock on the door, and Charles stuck his head into the room.
“Are you ready Pierce? Every thing else is. We can start if you want.”
Hawkeye spun round. “Margaret?”
“She’s ready. Peg is just seeing to her veil. She is very beautiful Pierce. You are a very lucky man.” Charles spoke softly.
Hawkeye looked gratefully at his friend.
“Thank you Charles.”
He then turned to BJ. “Ready, Mr Best Man?”
As the music struck up, Hawkeye turned to watch his fiancée coming down the aisle towards him. He gave an audible gasp as Margaret began her short walk on Colonel Potter’s arm. She was wearing a full length white dress with a veil covering her face. Peg was just in front, wearing a pink fitted dress to complement the pink lilies in Margaret’s bouquet. She beamed at Hawkeye, and then at her husband, standing just behind his best friend. Hawkeye turned his head in time to see BJ wink at his wife, and smile tenderly. Hawkeye was glad he had seen his friend with his wife, it was what had given him the courage to propose to Margaret. BJ had shown him that marriage was not as scary as he had always thought. Peg walked by, giving Hawkeye a reassuring smile as she went, and then suddenly Margaret was standing before him, radiating happiness and confidence. In an instant all Hawkeye’s fears and doubts disappeared, and he could only think of how overjoyed he was. He was brought back to earth by BJ giving him a discreet tap, and suddenly realised that Father Mulcahy was ready to start. With a final reassuring wink from Colonel Potter Hawkeye turned and nodded to Father Mulcahy.
Everyone around was overjoyed to see these two who were so obviously meant for each other finally pledging their love for each other. The service was simple, but when Hawkeye and Margaret said their vows, with their mutual love and devotion evident in their voices, there was not a dry eye to be seen. Margaret could see tears in Hawkeye’s eyes as he said his vows.
“I, Benjamin Franklin Pierce do take you, Margaret to my lawful wedded wife. To have and to hold, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in war and peace, until death us do part.”
Margaret tears inexplicably spring to her eyes as she replied:
“I Margaret Jane Houlihan, do take you, Benjamin to my lawful wedded husband. To have and to hold, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in war and peace until death do us part.”
When Father Mulcahy pronounced them husband and wife, Hawkeye, to everyone’s amusement but no one’s surprise, dipped Margaret and kissed her passionately. Walking back down the aisle, the new husband and wife could see all their friends who had come to wish them well. They passed Potter and his wife, Charles and his girlfriend Ellie, from the USO group that had come to camp, Klinger and his wife, just returned to America, Lorraine Blake and her children, Radar, his mother and his girlfriend, and all Hawkeye’s friends from Crabapple Cove. BJ walking behind was thrilled to see so many of the 4077th troop at the wedding of his friends, knowing just how much it would mean to them.
The reminiscing carried on late into the night. One by one, the residents of Crab Apple Cove drifted home, just leaving the war comrades, who were mainly staying with the Pierces. At around midnight, BJ clambered onto a table and tapped his glass with a spoon.
“Quiet down everyone!” He hiccupped - he and Hawkeye had revived the still - and continued. “Now that we are all back here in the States, we should see how many people’s wishes have come true. I think Hawkeye might be the best person to start with.”
“Thank you, thank you!” Hawkeye stood up, also a little unsteadily. “Well, I’m back in Crab Apple Cove, with a beautiful wife, and all my friends around. I’ve started doing 2 days a week in my dad’s practise, and I’m starting at Portland General next month. I’m very happy with my new life!” Everyone cheered as Hawkeye sank into a chair. Margaret took her turn.
“Well, I resigned my commission, and I came here for a quick visit, and now I’m stuck here for life.”
Margaret was deadpan, but everyone saw the sparkle in her eye, and could tell that she couldn’t be happier to be stuck anywhere. The others took their turn, and everyone was happy to report that life had turned out exactly as they wanted it. BJ went last, a mischievous grin tugging at his lips.
“Well, my life hasn’t exactly turned out as I thought. I’m back with my wife and baby where I belong, but I’m not going to be a GP in Mill Valley.” Hawkeye looked at his friend questioningly. BJ winked at Peg and then continued. “I’m going back to surgery. In fact, I’m the other new surgeon starting at Portland General in a month.”
Hawkeye’s eye’s widened as he gazed at BJ.
“Sorry, Beej, say that again. I thought you just said you were a surgeon at Portland General.”
BJ shook his head. “I’m not”.
“Oh thank goodness, I’m not going mad”
“But I will be in a month.”
“I am going mad. Or I’m drunk. Are you serious Beej?”
“Of course. How many times in the last few weeks have I disappeared? I’ve been getting a job. Oh, and a house.” Hawkeye began to grin.
“This is great! We’ll be working together again Beej! We won’t have to say goodbye ever again!” BJ and Hawkeye embraced, and then Margaret took her turn.
“Thank you BJ” she whispered. “You couldn’t have given us a more wonderful wedding present”
“HAWKEYE!” Margaret screamed in pain.
Her husband came rushing in from the kitchen to find his wife clutching the back of a chair, a puddle of water on the floor underneath her.
“Oh God, Hawkeye, the baby’s coming!”
Hawkeye gently guided her to a chair and took her pulse.
“How regular are the contractions?”
“Every 5 minutes.”
“Margaret! Why didn’t you tell me before?”
Margaret looked ashamed. “I thought it was another false alarm, like last week…..OW!” She screamed again as another contraction gripped her.
Hawkeye looked at his watch and shook his head. “DAD!”
Daniel Pierce came running into the room, but pulled up short as he saw his daughter in law.
“Dad, I need towels, sheets, and phone BJ for me. We’ll have to get her upstairs, she can’t give birth here.”
By the time Hawkeye had helped Margaret upstairs, BJ had run the distance between his house and Hawkeye’s. Running up the stairs he found Margaret lying on a bed, with Hawkeye anxiously stroking her forehead as another contraction gripped her. When it subsided he moved over to her.
“Margaret, it’s BJ. You’re doing great.” He paused as Margaret gathered breath to speak.
“Beej, I want you to do this. Hawkeye is far too nervous.” BJ nodded in agreement, knowing that his friend would try to be brave, but would in fact be terrified.
“Sure, Margaret. I’ll just go and scrub. Hawk, you get towels, hot water-”
“Done and done” interrupted Daniel as he came into the room carrying more linen than Hawkeye had known he had owned. Daniel deposited his burden at the foot of the bed, and looked at his daughter-in-law. “I think I’ll be most useful calling your doctor. Do you want Peg here honey?” Margaret nodded. “Then I’ll look after Erin for her. I’ll phone her too.”
“OW!” Margaret’s screams echoed in Daniel’s ears as her hurried downstairs.
Within just a few minutes, Peg was by Margaret’s side as she prepared to push her first child into the world. Hawkeye was on the other side, supporting her, and BJ was encouraging Margaret. As another contraction started, BJ called out “Ok Margaret, you can push”
An hour later, everyone in the room was exhausted. “Come on Margaret, one more push” encouraged BJ. Margaret glared at him.
“You said that…..an hour ago” she said breathlessly. “Oh God…..”
“Come on darling, push for me” Hawkeye encouraged. He brushed her hair out of her eyes. “I love you, and this’ll be over soon.” On Margaret’s other side, Peg was being equally supportive.
“Margaret, this will be it, I promise. It took even longer than this to deliver Erin, you’re doing really well.”
At that moment BJ shouted:
“There’s the head! The head is out! Ok Margaret, one more push for the shoulders. Good girl. Ok, relax, it’s out! Hawk, you want to cut the cord?”
Hawkeye looked awestruck as he beheld his child. Margaret was panting with the effort, but struggled up onto her elbows to look.
“Hawkeye? Is it ok?”
Her husband looked up, and Margaret could see the tears in his eyes.
“We have a daughter, Margaret!”
Two hours later, Margaret was lying in bed, with Hawkeye stretched out beside her. Their daughter was lying asleep in Margaret’s arms, with Hawkeye’s arms protectively around the pair. BJ and Peg were sitting in the arm chair beside the bed, with Erin on BJ’s lap looking in awe at the new baby.
“So what are you going to call her, Hawk?” BJ asked his friend.
“We haven’t decided yet Beej. Any suggestions?”
“You can’t do better than Margaret!” But Hawkeye shook his head.
“We want her to have a name that is all her own. We’ll have to leave it for a little while, and have a think.”
Two days later, the 4077th “Troop” was gathered in Hawkeye’s front room, having all cleared their schedules to make the pilgrimage to see Hawkeye’s first born. Hawkeye was entertaining everyone whilst Margaret made her slow way downstairs for the first time since she had given birth, the baby gently but firmly clasped in her arms. BJ was helping her, and Peg followed behind with Erin on her hip. Erin had been absolutely fascinated by the baby, never having seen one this close before. Margaret made her way into the front room and was greeted by an explosion of noise. The baby in her arms woke, but didn’t cry, content to survey her new surroundings. Margaret sat in a comfy chair and settled the baby, and looked round to greet everyone. All the people she had wanted to see were there. Tears came to her eyes as her friends deposited their gifts for the baby and then stepped back to let someone else come forward. When everyone had seen the baby, Hawkeye moved over to Margaret and put his arm round her.
“Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce my daughter, Eva May Pierce.”
Peg and Margaret sat on the steps of the Pierce household watching their children play. Margaret cradled her fourth child, Lily, in her arms. After her first pregnancy, each of her children had been delivered by BJ in her own bed, as Peg’s son and second daughter had been delivered by Hawkeye. Eva had been followed by Edward, Andrew, and two weeks ago, Lily, whilst Peg had had Michael and Isabelle in quick succession. The children thought of themselves as brothers and sisters, and almost lived at each other’s houses. Hawkeye and Margaret, BJ and Peg had grown even closer over the years, until the two families had become almost like one. Looking round for her husband, Margaret saw him at the bottom of the garden, roaring with laughter at a joke BJ had just made.
“Oh, this is lovely” Peg said “don’t you think, Margaret?” Margaret turned to her.
“Peg, this is happiness.”
The End
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